Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Number 67 and we return to the land of Tokyo 2040 in time for more of Kelly's innuendo-flavoured adventures! Bubblegum Crisis: Tokyo 2040 is copyright AIC. Tokyo 2040: Altered Future is copyright Rick Borden who asked us to do this to him. It's not our fault. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette.] [Dan, Rebecca and Rick are seated on the couches, huddled around the coffee table. Maya is seated on the computer chair at its head. The table is strewn with pieces of paper and pencils.] Maya: As you emerge from the tunnel into the almost blindingly bright light of midday, you pause for a moment to shield your eyes and take in your surroundings. You've emerged in a peaceful glade, with a semi-circular rise of rock behind you, peaking above the cave entrance behind you. No sooner have you stepped out into the sun than- Rick: I waste it with my energy blast! Rebecca: Rick! You don't even know what's there. Rick: It's probably bad anyway. Maya: Okay Rick, you spin around and loose a basic blast at the figure on the rise behind you. There's a small explosion as your shot hits home, but when the dust clears you see that Pinache, Saiyan duke and your arch enemy is unharmed. Dan: So that's where the sucker got to. Rebecca: I'm going to stand back and raise a deflection. Maya: As he surveys the group, you notice- Dan: Killing time! I'm launching into the air and firing a big ass fireball. Maya: Fine. Battle conditions, guys. Dan and Rebecca have declared their actions already. Rick, you're first, then Rebecca, Pinache and finally Dan. Dan: Man, why do I have to go last again? Maya: I told you before, Dan. Initiative depends on your mental stat. Rick: If you hadn't put it at two, you might get to do more. Dan: I didn't think the mental stat was important. Rebecca: You wouldn't. Maya: Rick, what are you doing? Rick: I'm going to hit mach speed and zip around behind him. I'll give myself a good five hundred feet or so. Rebecca, stay where you are. Rebecca: Gotcha. I'm going to put up a deflection and stand my ground. Maya: How strong? Rebecca: He's pretty buff, but he's probably underestimated us. I'll put up a 150 pointer and hope for a reflection. Maya: Fine. He stands there, smug look on his face. A wind starts to howl around you, and the sky grows considerably darker. Dan: My turn! I'm hanging right above him and letting off a big ass blast! Maya: Okay, how big? Dan: What do you mean, how big? Huge! Maya: Well how much are you going to put into it? Dan: How much can I put into ito? Maya: Well, theoretically you could dump all your power into one shot, but- Dan: Alright! One 630 pointer heding straight at you! Rick: Uh, Dan? You might not want to... Rebecca: Don't. This should be fun. Maya: Fine, Dan. Make a power skill roll. Dan: What do I have to get? Maya: Um... 63 or more. Dan: 63! Rick: Ouch. Dan: How the hell do I get 63 with a frigging start of 24? Maya: Should have thought about that before you used all your power. Dan: Okay, fine. It fizzles. Maya: That's not all. Since you used all your power, you can't maintain your flight any more. Dan: What? Rick: You were right, this is fun. Maya: Your defense absorbs all the damage from the fall, however as you were right above Pinahce, you land right on top of him, pinning him to the ground. Dan: Aack! Help me out guys! Rebecca: No way, this is our perfect chance. Okay, it's a new round, Rick and I have initiative. Rick: Monkey boy doesn't get to throw Dan off until later, so he's pretty much helpless at the moment. Both of us are going to blast him with our biggest *manageable* attacks. Dan: Guys! Wait! I'm in the way! Rick: You've given us the perfect opportunity, Dan. Your sacrifice will not be in vain. Rebecca: We'll remember you. Voice: Morning guys. Maya: Morning, King Yemma. Voice: ... Rebecca: Nice call. Voice: hat are you guys doing? Rick: Test-palying the Dragonball Z RPG. Dan's losing. Maya: While technically you can't "lose" an RPG, Dan is proving to be an exception. Dan: ... Voice: Anyway, I've got a fanfic for you guys. Dan: Now there's a stunningly original development. Rick: Allmost as unexpected as the plot twists in Maya's game so far. Maya: ... Rebecca: It's DBZ. You look for the Dragon Balls and blow stuff up. What did you expect, Shakespeare? Voice: Anyway, today's fic is the third chapter of Tokyo 2040: Altered FUture. Rebecca: Great. More of Kelly's adventures in Lime Land. Voice: ... Dan: Cool. [The TV switches on] > Turn down your lights... Rick: Unless prohibited by law. > Put on your Akira soundtrack... Rebecca: Do you want to know what you can do with your Akira soundtrack? Maya: Thanks Rebecca, but we don't need to go there. Rebecca: No, but it will soon. > Sit back and enjoy the ride! > Kelly stared in shock as Priss' arm slowly came back to life. Dan: Hi there, Thing. > Priss flexed her newly healed arm, testing it. Apparently satisfied, Rick: It takes an awful lot to satisfy Priss. > she stood and faced Kelly. "There's something else you need to see," Rebecca: [Makes zipper noise] > she said flatly and pushed past her, > heading out the door. "Boss, show her my secret," Rebecca: [Sylia] You mean the tape of you and I- Maya: [Priss] The other one, boss. Rebecca: [Sylia] So that's the tape of you and Linna- Maya: [Priss] I meant the *other,* other secret! Rebecca: [Sylia] You mean the tape of you, me and Linna- Maya: [Priss] Oh, forget it. > Priss commanded to Sylia. Rick: [Sylia] Do it yourself! > The > white-haired woman gave no response, but merely walked over to a control panel. Dan: Here we see miss Sylia Stingray modelling the latest in light switches. > With the push of a button, a section of wall slid away, revealing Rick: The ramp down to Thunderbird One! > a short passage. Dan: How anticlimactic. > Priss glanced over to Kelly and said "This way," then walked to the passage. A > few steps in, she came to what was apparently a blank wall. Rick: Well? Now what? > She pressed her > right hand against the wall and said "It's me, let me in." Dan: What an oh-so-secret password. Maya: Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin! > The wall hissed aside > with alarming speed. Kelly gasped when she saw what lay beyond. Rick: Hey, it's the loot from Reservoir Dogs! Rebecca: [Kelly] Okay, I'll bite. What's with the big white thing nailed to the cross? > Tokyo 2040: Altered Future > Chapter 3 - Part 1 > A figure lay on a plain white bed, wrapped bodily in what seemed to be white > bandages. Rick: But was actually just toilet paper. > Next to the bed were a number of machines, Dan: Oh look! I see you've got the machine that goes ping! > attached to the bandages by > various thin cables. An IV drip suspended on the other side Dan: Hmm, Jolt. > of the bed lead to the figure's arm. Rick: I've got it, it's Rei from the first episode of EVA. > A respirator set-up supplied air to the body. Maya: Well that is how it normally happens. Rebecca: I'd be worried if it was otherwise. > Priss indicated towards the figure with a nod of her head. Rebecca: [Priss] Like her? I'm thinking of marrying her. > Kelly nervously walked in and > examined the set-up. The bandages turned out to be a more solid full-body > covering, enclosing the entire feminine form Maya: Kelly checked that first, of course. > laying still on the bed. It reached > up to the neck, leaving only the head exposed. Bandages covered the left side of > the head and the exposed hair was very short, but the form was still > recognisable as - Dan: Vision? That's where she got to! > "Priss?" Kelly spun around to face her friend, whose face was a mirror image for > the one on the bed. Rebecca: Sylia, you need to work on those hardsuit designs a bit more. > "That's me," Priss nodded towards the bed, Rick: Really? You look like shit. Dan: Talk about split personalities. Rebecca: Brings a whole new meaning to "talking to yourself." > "Or rather, what's left of me." Kelly > turned back to the figure on the bed. "Sylia signed me up for the Knight Sabres. > The very next day, being the reckless idiot I am, I crashed and burned my bike." Dan: That was smart. Rick: You know what's the worst thing about it? She'd just had it resprayed. > She snorted, seemingly in amusement. "Sylia copied my brain into this body, Dan: Talk about your out-of-body experiences. > then > gave me a choice. I could work with her as a Knight Sabre while she worked on > healing my injuries, or I could languish in hospital until someone cured me. Rebecca: [Priss] Despite the opportunity to perv on the nurses, I went for this option. > I > took her first offer. She changed the voomer body to be basically the same as my > original form." Maya: Pardon me, but this is the same Sylia who thinks all boomers are dangerous? So why would she want to work with one? Dan: Oh, she did it in one of her "fluffball" moments and has regretted it since. > "How long ago was that?" Kelly asked quietly, mesmerised by the body. Rebecca: [Kelly] Damn, she's sexy in a kind of vegetable way. > Priss paused before answering. "Over two years." Rick: [Priss] On the upside, I am technically dead for tax purposes. > Kelly spun around, startled. "Two years? You've been living as a voomer for two > years? Dan: In her last company she was black for six months so she'd be more employable. > Hasn't she cured you yet?" Maya: Still working on that one. Rebecca: [Sylia] We'll have you out of there, as soon as we find a cure for seventeen stab wounds. Rick: We're up to fifteen! > "All right, that's enough excitement for one day," Rebecca: [Sylia] One night, on the other hand... > Sylia said, emerging from the > passage. "Priss needs to recharge and let her arm repair properly. Rick: That wasn't a shoulder shot, was it? [Rebecca hits him with a cushion] > And you," she > turned to Kelly "Need a good night's sleep. Just look at those horrible bags > under your eyes." Maya: [Kelly] Yes, mum. > Priss looked down. "Sure thing, boss." She walked out of the room, leaving Kelly > and Sylia facing each other. Dan: [Sylia] So. Rick: [Kelly] So. > "You haven't been able to help her for a whole two years?" Kelly asked, quietly. Maya: [Sylia] I've been busy! I've had things to do, boomers to kill- Whoops, did I say that? > "Even I can't do miracles," Sylia responded entirely seriously. Rebecca: [Sylia] Dammit Kelly, I'm a mad scientist, not a miracle worker! > Kelly sighed and walked out the door. Under her breath, she muttered Rebecca: [Kelly] Bitch. > "Or you > won't." Unknown to Kelly, Sylia stiffened almost imperceptibly as she spoke. Rick: Dum dum daaahhh! Dan: And the plot thickens. > Part 2 > A figure dashed down a crowded street late in the MegaTokyo night. Dan: And he had two german shepherds hot on his heels, I'll bet. > A casual > observer would have guessed that she was about sixteen or so, but the afore > mentioned observer would have had to miss the deathly pale skin and visible > seams that marked her as a mannequin voomer. Rick: Not to mention the six arms and mouth laser... > The same observer might have also > thought the two German shepherds chasing after her were her pets. Dan: Damn... Rebecca: Well, if you've missed the white skin and seams, you'd probably think they're kittens. > The two dogs struggle to keep up with the running voomer. Although her > artificial muscles propelled her fast enough, they still gained ground. Maya: Hang on, they're struggling to keep up, yet they're gaining ground? Rick: Well they're gaining ground slowly, I guess. > Desperate for an escape route, Rebecca: There's never a ridiculously convenient ventilation shaft around when you need one. > she dashed out onto the road, Rick: Well that was smart. > weaving between stationary cars locked in a near-permanent traffic jam. Dan: Do you mind? I've been here since Wednesday! Maya: Hey look guys, it's someone new! > The dogs however kept > pace, slipping between the cars, over the roofs and even leaping through car > windows. Rick: Bad dog! Bad, bad dog. No buscuit. Rebecca: Hey, it's cyberdog Chitzkoi! > Inevitably, they came closer to their quarry. > She turned to check her hunters, but placed a foot wrong and fell. Her leg > twisted around and let her flat on her back as one of the dogs approached. It > leapt at her Rick: It's inspector Rex! Go Rex! Rebecca: Inspector Rex is the greatest. He kicks ass. > only to be intercepted inn mid air. A loud gunshot stopped the dog midair Maya: Yeah, you said that. > and dropped it to the ground. The second one sprang into view and was > stopped with the same immediate response. Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, the opening to Akira. > The voomer looked up and relief flooded her face. Rick: As the UN began flying in food aid. > A motorcycle had stopped a few > feet from her, it's rider none other than Kelly, holding a smoking pistol. All: How convenient. > The voomer leapt up, calling her name, Rebecca: [Boomer] Here Kelly! Nice Kelly! Got a biscuit for you. > but Kelly pointed her pistol straight past > her. On the road, one dog, shot straight in the forehead lay still. The injury > exposed metal and circuitry beneath the fur. The second dog got to its feet, and > shrugged off two more shots Kelly unloaded into it. Dan: Okay wiseass, now what? > "Get on," Kelly yelled to the voomer who immediately leapt onto the back of her > bike. The bike sped away, just as the remaining voomer dog leapt at them. It > landed agilely on its feet, and turned to face the retreating bike. With a low > growl, it shed its skin revealing a shiny surface, Rick: You can even see your face in it. Someone keeps their boomer dog well maintained. > rippling with artificial muscles. Rebecca: The dog later went on to appear in a bodybuilding magazine. Maya: Yes, but can it wiggle its pecs? > Power coursed through its body and it took off, running faster than the > bike and slowly catching up. Dan: Dogbullet! Rick: There's a super-obscure one for you, folks. > "It's gone into overdrive mode! Help!" The voomer screamed from the back of > Kelly's bike. Maya: You don't do much except scream, do you? Rebecca: And twist her ankle. She twisted her ankle, you know. Rick: Artificial humans are so advanced, they can even scream and twist their ankles. > "Just hold on tight," Kelly responded and shifted the bike into a higher gear. Dan: Ludicrous speed! > She swayed it to the right just in time to avoid a laser blast from the pursuer, > then again to the left to avoid a second and third shot. Rick: Well, either she's a really good driver or that dog's just a lousy aim. > Eventually the dog seemed to slow down, it's reserve power exhausted by the > overdrive mode. Dan: These new fangled fancy boomer dogs just don't have the milage of the older models. > It made one last signal to its wounded companion, Rick: [Boomer dog] Psst, you're on. > then sent the > last of its power to a small detonator within its body. The voomer dog was > immediately vaporised. Rebecca: Arf? KABOOM! Rick: All of a sudden, I can imagine this very Pythonesque explosion with bits of fur flying everywhere. > Its damaged companion, back in the traffic jam, hauled > itself to its feet and slowly headed back to base. Rick: [Boomer dog] Oh man, how am I gonna report this one? > ---------- > Kelly stepped into her small apartment Dan: Only to find that Kramer was raiding the fridge. > and immediately threw her riding jacket > over a chair. She usually didn't wear one, but Priss had convinced her that > safety was slightly more of an issue than she had thought. Maya: But she still doesn't wear a helmet, does she? > Behind her came the > voomer. It was designed to appear young, sixteen or so, but obviously > artificial. It had shoulder length blond hair and watched Kelly nervously as she > moved about her apartment, first checking her answering machine (no messages) Rick: Don't you hate it when people get to the message and just hang up? > then getting a beer from her fridge. Rebecca: Okay everyone, time to pull out your favourite "Misato's lifestyle" jokes. Rick: Is that a Duff she's got? > "Do you want one, Ajay?" She said, then stopped. She had forgotten her voomer > companion Maya: And special friend. > only needed an occasional recharge, and couldn't take human food. Rebecca: Kelly's brain seems to be off today. Rick: It has on days? Rebecca: Sometimes I wonder. > "Stupid question," Kelly said and shut the fridge door. They both sat at the > kitchen table. > "You've really gone to ground here," Ajay said, glancing around the apartment. Dan: [Ajay] You're regrowing your mould collection already. > "Never mind that. I thought I told you no-one was to follow me?" Kelly snapped > at her friend. Dan: [Ajay] Glad to see you too. > "There was an emergency," Ajay said quietly. Rick: [Ajay] No-one could find the key to the little girls' room. > "Emergency?" Kelly repeated, somewhat surprised. Maya: You know, as in "panic and catastrophe," that sort of thing. > "Nothing you guys couldn't handle, right?" Rebecca: Well if it was, why would she be here? > Ajay shook her head. "Our hide out was attacked," she said solemnly. "It was a > single voomer, Rick: [Ajay] Masquerading as a door-to-door salesman. > but we had to flee. We couldn't stop it!" Dan: Is it a boomer, or is it Goldberg? You be the judge. > "Just one Voomer?" Kelly asked, surprised. Rick: That's right, new and improved Genom Cola with just one boomer! > The group they spoke of, known to a few as the Outcasts Maya: But known to many as "that bunch of louts who loiter in the game arcades." > had the services of a pair of BU-C-208's to protect them. Rebecca: Yes, but can they protect them from holes in continuity? Maya: Now now, he warned us about this. Rebecca: Bite me, that's no excuse. > They were outdated, sure, but surely they could handle a lone voomer on their > own. "What happened to Obi Dan: He got run through by Darth Vader. > and Acee?" Rebecca: She married Springer and had innumerable SI offspring. > Kelly asked, referring to the nicknames > they'd given the BU-C-208s, based on their serial numbers. Rick: Not to mention the convincing impression one did of Liam Neeson in Phantom Menace. > "They were both destroyed," Ajay said grimly. Rebecca: Cheap shoddy union boomers. Dan: See what happens when you leave a boomer unattended in LA? > "They covered our escape." > Kelly was shocked. How could a single voomer... "What kind of voomer was it?" Dan: Model T-1000. Rick: Nexus 7. Rebecca: 33S. You don't want to know how it destroyed the other two. > "We couldn't identify it from the files. Maya: [Ajay] And when we asked the GM, he said "bite me." > It used a kind of wire weapon..." Ajay > trailed off. Kelly was silent, rocked by the news. The other C-17 had finally > appeared. Rick: Dum dum daaah! > ---------- > "C-17?" Sylia asked Kelly down in the pit. Maya: Nice transition. Rick: Yes, it's a type of really big cargo plane. > Kelly had requested to use Sylia's equipment, Rebecca: And I'm sure Sylia would like to use Kelly's equipment too. > but Sylia wanted answers first. Dan: What is your name? What is your quest? What is the average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? > "Never heard of it." Maya: [Sylia] You're just making this up, aren't you? Rebecca: [Kelly] Nuts. Found out. Maya: [Sylia] So what are you really here for? Rebecca: [Kelly] Um... Rocket Attack USA? Dan: Damn, that is obscure. > Kelly sighed. This wouldn't be easy. Rick: Warning, exposition incoming. Ready your popcorn. > "The C-17s were a prototype assassin voomer, cancelled for being to unpredictable. Rick: Not to mention overdue, over budget, needing import parts when all they wanted was a locally produced model... Dan: That and it only came in puce. > They were armed with two mono-wire > weapons, as well as the standard finger claws of earlier model assassins. Dan: Plus the groinal socket attatchment. Maya: Now that was really off. Dan: So was the drink dispenser option. Maya: Eew. > The > big problem was they were equipped with highly advanced brains that made them > both dangerous and unstable." Rick: But on the upside, they made great colour commentators. > "Like the one we fought a few nights ago?" Sylia asked. Rebecca: No, that was just some other demented, unstable, overpowered boomer with a mono-wire weapon. > "Yes, that was one of the prototypes. Only three were made," Kelly responded. > "How do you know so much about them?" Sylia inquired. Rebecca: [Kelly] I slept with one of them... Damn, didn't mean to say that! > "I've met one of the other prototypes," Maya: We had coffee and talked about nothing. > Kelly abruptly responded. Sylia shook > her head, indicating she wanted more answers than that. Maya: [Sylia] I'm not buying it, Kelly. Rebecca: [Kelly] Damn. Er... Money for Nothing? Dan: You're really piling up the obscure references. > Kelly sighed. "Very > well. But I don't want you to tell the others about this," she said. Rick: Priss might get jealous. > "Just like Priss' secret?" Sylia responded. Kelly nodded, and Sylia simply said > "Very well." Maya: [Sylia] But I'll ask for "favours" in return. > "I work for a group called the outcasts. It's comprised entirely of Rick: Scott Hall and Kevin Nash? Rebecca: That's the Outsiders, you twit. > rogue yet stable voomers, ones that broke their programming yet didn't go berserk. Dan: [Kelly] And we've got this really funny one with a square head called Kryten. You ever heard of it? > One of > the prototypes was amongst this group," Kelly paused, and turned her eyes away, > "But it's been destroyed." Rick: They had to put him down. > "And just what do you do for this group?" Sylia asked. Rebecca: Wouldn't you like to know, Sylia. > "I was sent into MegaTokyo to meet a buyer. Dan: She's selling the boomers? Rick: No, just her collection of Beanie Babies. > We had compiled the design specs of > all the voomers amongst the Outcasts onto this disk." At that point, she drew a > disk out of her pocket, Rebecca: [Kelly] Hang on, that's my porn collection. Other disk. > then continued. "I was to sell the designs to Epsilon Industries, Rick: Is that as in "Jim Dorkfish Williams'" Epsilon Industries? Maya: I guess so. Dan: Imagine that. Dorkfish with an army of boomers. Rebecca: Scary. > and use the money to get the Outcasts out of Japan." Rick: So they can go on to their world tour. Maya: In the meantime, completely upsetting the balance of corporate power amongst boomer manufacturers, but never mind. > "And we both know the rest," Sylia finished. "what does this have to do with > me?" Rick: Nothing really. You're only there so Kelly can get a neat hardsuit. Maya: [Kelly] Can I have your specs for the disk? Rebecca: [Kelly] Er, not the design disk, that is. > "I want to find where the third prototype C-17 was. Dan: At the moment, it's in a pile of undelivered mail in a Chicago post office. > It attacked the Outcast's refuge recently, Rick: It gave them an egging they'll never forget. > and I need to stop it before it finds them again." > Sylia thought for a second. Maya: [Sylia] How would I look as a blond? > "I'll have Nene check Genom's database for you later on." > "Thanks Sylia," Kelly said sincerely. She turned and left the pit. > As soon as Kelly was gone, her disk was flung against the pit's wall. "You > idiots!" Sylia yelled, glaring at the lift shaft as if it was responsible. Rick: Hissy fit, hissy fit! Dan: I blame my lift shaft. > Part 3 > Kelly stepped into her small apartment and immediately threw her riding jacket > over a chair. It fell to the floor. Rick: Graceful. > Kelly stood in shock at what she saw before > her. Her apartment had been ransacked. The table was overturned, the chairs > smashed and from here, she could see her bedroom was in a similar state. Rebecca: Obviously Priss has been here. > Worst of all, there was no sign of Ajay. > Kelly ran into her small bedroom, calling her friend's name. Dan: What, do you think she's hiding or something? > She then returned to the main room, and glanced around again. Rick: [Kelly] I left her here just a moment ago... > The message light flashed on her > answering machine. Fearing the worst, she pressed the play button. Maya: And her fears were realised. It was an insurance salesman. > "Hi there," a somewhat deep man's voice played over the speakers. Dan: [Voice] Hey, yo. Rick: Wonderful, you're being crank called by Darth Vader. > "By now, you've seen my handiwork." Maya: [Voice] I'll have a display at this weekend's Megatokyo Arts & Crafts fair in case you missed it. > Kelly sank to her knees upon recognising the voice. > "You'll also be wondering where your friend is. Rebecca: Spain? Canada? I hear Jamaica's nice this time of year. > Bring the design disk to the old dive-" Rick: Ze spooky varehouse. > Kelly knew he meant an abandoned warehouse he'd used before Dan: There seem to be a lot of those lying around. > "-and you'll find out. But don't dawdle." The machine went silent. > ---------- > Kelly sped down the street on her motorbike, wind rustling her hair and whipping > across her bare arms. Rebecca: So much for that riding jacket. > For the millionth time, she cursed Sylia for being so stubborn. Dan: [Kelly] Curse you Sylia Stingray, I hate you even more. > She'd asked for help from the Knight Sabres, but Sylia had merely > repeated that they did not support personal vendettas and that solo actions were > also not allowed. Maya: Naming no names Priss. > If Sylia had her way, Kelly would be discussing options with > the Sabres back at base. Rick: [Sylia] No, this year I think we should have our anual dinner at that charming little new place down the road. > and Ajay would no doubt be dead. Rebecca: Relatively speaking, of course. > She pulled up by a large warehouse. Dan: [Kelly] I hope this is the right one. All these abandoned warehouses look the same to me. > A dim light could be seen within. Kelly > shoved open the door and strode in. A single light illuminated the centre of the > room, pointing out two figures. Rick: Agents Scully and Mulder, no doubt. > One was Ajay, and the other was equally familiar > to her. He was tall and broad shouldered, dressed in a long grey trench coat and > dark clothes. Maya: Ooh, it's Seifer! ^_^ Rebecca: Maya, don't you ever do that again. Maya: But he's such a hunk... > A slightly amused expression played on his handsome face, framed > by long blond hair. As Kelly entered, he reached down and grabbed Ajay by her > neck, Dan: Cholkeslam! Chokeslam! > dragging her limp form to her feet and standing her in front of him. > "Good to see you again. It's been a while," he said in a calm and cultured > voice. Rick: [Man] I haven't killed you in ages. > "Let her go, Mikhail," Kelly demanded. > "First, the disk. Or I run your friend through," he said. Rebecca: And he'll talk in sentance fragments all the while. > Kelly gritted her teeth. She drew a disk from her back pocket. Rick: Floppy disks at twenty paces. > Pausing only to > glance at it, she threw it straight at him. Mikhail caught the disk with his > free hand. Dan: Nice one. Ever thoguht of playing baseball? > He stood in silence for agonising seconds, then shook his head. "Bad > girl," he said, Rebecca: Bad girl! Bad, bad girl! Look what you did to the carpet. > "You should no better than that." Rick: Know your role, and shut your damn mouth! > "No!" yelled out Kelly. She dashed forwards, but was already two late. Mikhail > discarded the worthless disk. Rick: Hey, those things can be re-used, you know. > In one fluid motion, he released his grip on > Ajay's neck. As she began to fall, a long, thin metallic blade pierced through > her chest. Maya: Well that worked. > Kelly leapt into the air, flying foot first at her adversary. Mikhail > threw Ajay's body at her, knocking her off path. All: WA-TAK! Rebecca: That was a really dirty trick. I like it. > Kelly landed on her feet, disregarding the body, Dan: No "X the movie" refs here. Maya: No, her head isn't severed and there aren't copious amounts of blood. > and stood facing Mikhail. They both adopted combat stances; Dan: Striking his mighty karate pose! > Kelly side on, left foot forwards whereas Mikhail stood slightly > hunched over, arms up by his sides and feet shuffling slightly. Dan: So she's fighting like Hwoarang and he's fighting like Lei? Makes sense. Rick: Mash buttons and wiggle the stick like crazy! I always win with Lei like that. > Kelly sprang forwards, deathly silent, left leg outstretched to strike him. > Mikhail reeled back at the right moment, avoiding her foot and then thrust > forwards, striking her with the top of his head. Rebecca: Never headbutt the guy with the metal skull. Maya: Or the girl with the concrete chest. > This blow left Kelly reeling, > and he followed up with a flurry of punches, assailing her head and chest. Rick: Noodles? Try my fist! > She > managed to block one, then strike out with her left foot again, this time > reaching high. Dan: If this was Dead or Alive, that would have been a nifty counter throw. Rebecca: If this were Dead or Alive, your eyes would be out on stalks. > Mikhail thrust his own leg up, batting hers away. The two leaned > back, adopting somewhat similar postures; Kelly with her left thigh parallel to > the ground and her leg crooked; Rick: Take notes everyone, this will all be in the test. > Mikhail more upright, left leg raised and > crooked and holding his right arm back for balance. Maya: In short, what have they actually achieved? Dan: They're ripping off "The Young Master," that's what. > Kelly struck first, shooting her left leg low, but was immediately blocked by a > downward stroke from Mikhail's outstretched leg. He then kicked out with his own > leg, but was blocked in turn in a similar manner by Kelly. The two traded blows, > each parrying the other with perfect precision Dan: And I'll bet the writer had just watched "Who Am I?" > until Mikhail broke the > stalemate. He jabbed with his left foot, then swung around, spinning and leaping > at Kelly with a high sweeping right kick. Maya: What did he do? Dan: Oh, that's easy. I can show you that move on Tekken 3. Rebecca: No. Dan: Oh, please? Rebecca: NO! > It struck Kelly on the side of the head and bowled her over. Rick: You're stain! > Mikhail leapt spinning into the air and came down at > Kelly, elbow-first, Rebecca: Savage, the elbow, ten thousand dollars. > who barely managed to roll back out of the way. Rick: Leaving him in an amusing heap, no doubt. Dan: I'd like to see him write someone fighting like Eddy or tiger, myself. Rebecca: I don't think anyone could. > As Kelly stood he leapt forwards, spinning in with a sweeping high kick. Kelly > managed to block the strike, but was unprepared for his next move. Rebecca: He took his trousers off. > Upon landing, > he took up a lower, almost crouching stance with both hands drawn in, raised to > his chest. He struck out with an incredibly fast series of left jabs, striking > her chest repeatedly and leaving her dazed. Rick: You bastard, try this melon! > With frightening speed, he grabbed > her shoulders and, using his grip as a pivot, leapt up and kicked her square in > the chest with both feet. All: TOGG! Maya: And if this was Dead or Alive, he would have bounced off. > He flung off backwards and landed on his feet; Kelly > was sent sprawling backwards, crashing into a pile of containers. She yelped in > pain upon impact. Rick: Man, why beat? Take it easy. > "That easy?" Mikhail said as he walked towards Kelly's prone form, dusting off > his trench coat. Rick: You're petulant, but not concentrated enough. > "Really, Kelly, you shouldn't have held back like that." Dan: Ah, she gave you the first round. Rick: There's another eighteen minutes of this fight left, you know. > He watched her struggle to stand, shaking his head in dismay. "Poor girl, you've > been weak for too long. You've forgotten what power feels like. Maya: [Mikhail] It's sorta soft and squeezy. > Not that it > matters now, I can just pluck what I want straight from your head." > He stepped forwards slowly, approaching Kelly who was barely standing. She > realised she couldn't win. She was hurt and he was still fresh. Rebecca: Plus he's got the advantage of being a boomer. That kinda helps. > If she tried to > run, he would catch her. If she tried to fight, he would beat her. And to think, > he was holding back as much as she was. Only one option left. She reached inside > to find a long hidden strength within her... Rick: [Kelly, chanting] Ka...me...ha...me... Rebecca: [Kelly] I must get in touch with my inner womynpower! Dan: [Grunge] Can me watch when you do that? > Only to find it unnecessary. A loud crash of shattering glass was the only > warning either of them got before a streak of blue Rick: Actually, it was grey. > burst into the warehouse. Priss' hardsuit dived in, bearing down on Mikhail. Rick: Priss has spoken! Her rigid grill structure is bearing down on his unprotected cargo bay door. > At the last instant he leapt backwards, flipping in mid-air and Maya: Hitting a support beam on the way. [Shakes head] Oh, the humanity. > landing half way across the warehouse. "What > the-" Priss said after landing gracefully. > "Friend of yours? Never mind," Mikhail said haughtily. "Next time, Kelly," Rick: Wait for death in eighteen years. > he concluded, and darted out the back door. All: Sequel. > Priss was ready to chase after him, but > at that precise moment Kelly collapsed to the floor in a heap. [They hold up signs, reading: 8.8, 9.1, 3.3, 7.0] > ---------- > Back in the pit, Kelly was resting on a bench. Dan: Face it. You got your cute little ass whipped. > She had recovered quickly, and > refused help from the other Sabres save for an icepack which she was pressing > against her forehead. Rebecca: Not to mention someone scraping her up off the floor. > Sylia entered the small room where Kelly was resting, an > icy glare favouring her newest subordinate. Rick: Kelly done boo-boo. > "What is it?" Kelly asked after a while. Dan: A self-insertion fanfic, but that's not important right now. > "You should have done as I said," Sylia responded. > Kelly got to her feet (wincing slightly in pain) and faced Sylia. "I needed to > save her!" Kelly said. > "That worked," Sylia said coldly. Dan: Ouch. Score one to Sylia. > "I had to try! I couldn't just wait!" Kelly yelled back, trying to convince > herself. > "If you had arrived with backup, that would have been a different matter," Sylia > replied. Maya: [Sylia] Have you learned your lesson yet? Rebecca: [Kelly] Yes, mum. > "How can you say that?" Kelly was practically in tears. "I just lost a friend." Rebecca: And this affects Sylia how? > Sylia lashed out and struck Kelly, slapping her across the face. Kelly was left > holding her stinging cheek. Rebecca: [Kelly] I thought you liked me! > Sylia's voice wavered slightly. "Don't think you're > the only one who's lost something." Rick: Score two. Dan: I think Sylia's lost it, myself. > She turned her back on Kelly. "Next time you > go off on your own, we won't be there to back you up." > Sylia walked out, leaving Kelly sore, sad and confused. Maya: Sorry Kelly, but it sucks to be you. > ---------- > Writer's notes: More from the original series? You bet. All: We noticed. > Editor's notes: Mikhail, the Outcasts and even Ajay all come from the same > campaign as Kelly. Dan: We'd guessed. > This is Kelly's real backstory, folks. The voomer dog pack > comes from the BGC RPG archive. Rebecca: Arf? KABOOM! > Yes, Mikhail really is that much of a badass (Rick: Thanks a heap) > More writer's notes: Congratulations to anyone who knows where "Epsilon > Industries" comes from. [They all raise their hands and call out "I know" and "I get it"] > Rick Borden - stingray_2040@yahoo.co.uk [The TV switches off] Voice: So can I have your reveiws for this part? Dan: I had fun. The story was short, and admittedly not a lot happened in this chapter, but it was okay. The fight was especially well-written if a bit wordy. But a few things were a bit too cliched, you know like the chase in the cars and the kidnapping. Maya: Kelly continues to imprtess me on how unlike a regular SI is. In this chapter, we see her mess up, lose a friend, get beaten senseless in a fight and told off by Sylia. It's good to know that there's an SI fic where the avatar doesn't win. Rebecca: I must admit that I'm growing to like this fic. It's an easy read, and the innuendos make it kind of fun. The writing is a little spotty in places, but compared to some of the horrors we've witnessed, it's pretty good. Rick: I agree with Maya about the cliches, but it's not too bad. There's a couple of small things here and there that get me, like the BU-C-208s or Sylia not knowing about the C-17, but it's pretty good. Voice: Thanks again guys. Maya: SO, shall we get back to the game. Dan: Not rig ht now. I think I'll need a good stiff drink before we see what happens next. Rebecca: Why? It'll be kind of funny. Rick: And can you imagine the mialage we'll get off this story? Dan: ... Maya: We do have the problem of killing off an estabilished player character... Rebecca: Dan can sort out a new one over a few beers. [They file out. The screen goes blank.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Dan and Maya are copyright 1995-1999 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-1999 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAVM conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > "I was to sell the designs to Epsilon Industries, > and use the money to get the Outcasts out of Japan."