Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Episode 80 marks Elmer's 2nd anniversary of MSTing. Allready? Oh well. Anyway, we're returning to an old favourite. Thanks to Mike Surbrook for letting us have this one. Street Fighter (Et all) is copyright Capcom. Tenchi Muyo! is copyright Pioneer. Dragon Ball Z is copyright Toei Animation. ShinAkuma vs Vegita is copyright Thane (DeathThane@aol.com) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette. A cardboard box sits by the bench, with the tattered remains of a plastic Christmas tree and pieces of tinsel sticking out.] [Tsuneo and Rebecca are standing by the computer] Voice: And so, he passed the fic on to us. Tsuneo: Wow. I'll miss working with the K5 team. Rebecca: Yeah, they were fun. except for Marta. Tsuneo: Come on, don't be like that. Rebecca: Oh, alright. I had fun baiting her. Tsuneo: ... [Dan and Rick enter] Dan: Hi guys. What's happening? Rebecca: We've already got ourselves a fic, that's what. Rick: What is it? Tsuneo: It's an... Odd piece known as ShinAkuma vs. Vegeta. Rebecca: We did an earlier chapter with Shion and Noriko ages ago. Rick: Hang on, isn't Akuma that guy from street fighter? The one Tsuneo uses that I keep beating him with? Dan: Yeah. Rick: So what's Vegeta doing there? Tsuneo: Um... Hanging around the Masaki household, mostly. Dan & Rick: Huh? Rebecca: Long story. Sit down and I'll tell you about it. [They sit - Tsuneo and Rebecca on the forwards facing couch, Rick and Dan on the sideways couch. Rick & Rebecca are closest on the corners.] Tsuneo: Okay, the story so far. Rebecca: Vegeta hangs around the Masaki household all day and eats pie. Dan: Pie? Rebecca: Just kidding. Actually he spends all his time lounging around, drinking beer and watching TV. Rick: So what does the Tenchi cast do about this? Tsuneo: Let him. Rebecca: Oh yeah, he also spends time training in the hundred gee room, but that's taken for granted. Dan: I guess Washu made him one. Rick: Makes sense so far. [Pause] What am I saying, of course it doesn't. Tsuneo: Anyway, there's also a self-insertion called Thane. Dan: Who's more powerful than Vegeta, right? Rebecca: We don't know, he's yet to do anything except talk in an atrocious mock Irish accent. Dan: Keep going. Tsuneo: Anyway, one day Akuma decides to find the Dragon Balls. Rick: Hang on, this is modern day Earth, right? Rebecca: Yup. Rick: With Dragon Balls? Rebecca: Yup. Rick: O-kay. Tsuneo: So Thane and Vegeta decide to stop him. Dan: This should make for a short fic. Rebecca: Not really. Vegeta's been reduced to a screaming wuss who can't even vaporise a city block. Dan: Shame! He has a bad day if he can't total a planet. Tsuneo: Oh yeah, and he lets Thane call him "Veggie." Or even "Veg" some times. Rick: Does this Thane guy have a death wish or something? Tsuneo: No, that would be Mike. Dan: So who's Mike? Rebecca: Mike's an idiot who they picked up along the way. He got lost in an airport for half a chapter. Tsuneo: He comes with a pair of completely forgettable characters called Bruce and Jameka. Dan: Jameka? Rick: No, she went on her own accord. [Dead silence] Sorry. Rebecca: Anyway... Dan: So where are we up to? Tsuneo: Let's see... Akuma got a Dragon Ball from Mike's dojo and wrecked it in the process - but left Mike and Bruce alive. Then he got one from some Tibetan mMonks who live in a mountainous part of Tibet. Dan: But I thought Tibet was all mountains. Tsuneo: Ssh. Rebecca: But the gang of idiots have also got two, one from Jameka's now wrecked apartment, and one from Packard Bell who, incidentally along with AOL, are in league with the Devil. Rick: I see. Tsuneo: Guess where Thane got his computer from. And his ISP. Rick: I'm beginning to regret this already. Dan: My head hurts. And the fic hasn't even started yet. Voice: If you're all ready now... Rick: I don't think I'll ever be ready for this. [The TV switches on.] > ShinAkuma V.S Vegeta > "The Race for the Dragon Balls" Dan: What a shockingly original plot! > Part 5 > Everyone, stood, looking at what was left of the packard bell building. Rebecca: Okay, whose fault was that? Rick: This is why you need customer service. > Many people had gathered outside. > The people where being held back by the police, that surrounded the crater, that > was once the PB HQ. Tsuneo: Yeah, Packard Bell's got a few corporate headquarters to spare. > "Ok, So where's akuma?" veggie said Rebecca: Isn't he in Street Fighter Three Turbo Plus Cheese End-Of-The-World edition by now? > "i do nae know lad, tis made nae sense Rick: And you made "nae" sense either. > to destroy this building" thane said puzzled Dan: He just felt like it. Tsuneo: I could say it was part of an immature revenge trip on the part of the authour, but I can't be bothered. > "ehh heh.." bruce stared Rebecca: [Bruce] Don't look at me, I didn't do it. > "Well at least we have two dragon balls" mike said with a grin Dan: And when you have two Dragon Balls, you have the dragon's undivided attention. > "Now the scores even up" meka said Tsuneo: In case anyone's forgotten, Akuma has Two dragon balls: One that he got from Bruce, the other from the Tibetan mMonks. The gang of idiots also has two: One from Jameka's apartment and one from Packard Bell. Rick: Henry Crun: Nothing. > "yeah, but it aint going to stay like that for long" Veggie said Dan: What are you gonna do, cry about it? Rick: Well, he could just march up to Akuma and reduce him to a greasy stain in nothing flat. > "At the rate akuma's moving, he's probably already closing in on the next dragon > ball" veggie said Rebecca: So why don't they go after it? Dan: Ssh. > "Well, Why are we standing around here for" Bruce said > "i do nae know" Thane said, with a shrug. Tsuneo: Translation: We're rock-stupid, and we know it. > ...well, while they try and figure out what to do.... Dan: Let's see... Akuma's going after the next dragon ball, and you want to stop him. Hmm, this is a toughie. > lets look in on that next dragon ball... Tsuneo: Do we have to? > The next dragon ball lies, in the land down under. > Australia, to those that do not know that. Rebecca: Care to be any less specific? It's only a whole continent you're talking about. > "HEY!! Stop you punks" jimmy shouted > The kids kept running. Dan: Did we just skip something here? And who is Jimmy anyway? Rick: Just a guess, but I suspect he's a boring, lifeless and uninteresting character who'll do nothing and vanish within two chapters. > James brock, Rick: Of team Brocket. Dan: No doubt voiced by Eric Stuart. > the cousin to jameka brock. Tsuneo: "The" cousin? Small family. > A harded policeman, Rick: So he's made out of concrete? Rebecca: No, it's talking about his arteries. Rick: Makes sense. > that had trained under ken as well. Tsuneo: Oh wow, you get to be trained by Street Fighter's *other* main character. Dan: With all these idiots he's trained, you wonder how Ken's got time to maintain his lifestyle of doing nothing. > now residing in australia. Rick: Anywhere special in Australia? Rebecca: Nah, he just lounges around the countryside in general. > Jimmy kept running after the two kids, who had just swiped a womans purse. > "I SAID STOP!" jim yelled as he ran after them Rick: Well you didn't say "please." Some people are so rude. > the two kids ducked into an Ally Dan: What, an underweight promiscuous female lawyer in a short skirt? > and disappeared. > Jimmy had lost them. Tsuneo: I think Jimmy lost "it" long ago. Dan: Why do you say that? Rick: He's appearing in this fic. > "DAMN" jim growled > "They got away" jim said > "ohhhh...this is not my day" he said, turning to go back and find his partner Rebecca: Mister Authour, have you ever heard of this little thing we call a paragraph? > ...Now that vegeta, thane, meka, bruce, mike... Dan: Gilligan, the skipper, the millionaire and his wife... Tsuneo: Biggs, Wedge, Jessie and the Shinra manager... Rick: Shogo Yahagi, Mark Landry, Johnny Winters... > are back at the masaki's, lets look in on them... Tsuneo: Hang on... They decided that Akuma was headed straight for the next Dragon Ball... So they went to Japan for a pit stop? Rick: Saving the world can wait. Thane wants food! > "umm ryoko lass, this be, Bruce, Jameka, And mike." thane said, pointing to them > "umm...hi" bruce said, holding out his hand to shake Dan: [Thane] Mike, this is Bruce, Jameka and Ryoko. Rick: [Mike] Hi. Dan: [Thane] Bruce, this is Mike, Jameka and Ryoko. Tsuneo: [Bruce] Hello. Dan: [Thane] Jameka, this is Mike, Bruce and Ryoko. Rebecca: [Jameka] Can it already! > Ryoko facefaulted, then shook his hand. Rebecca: It's kind of icky... Dan: [Ryoko] Eew, boy germs. > "So, how long will you be staying with us" Tenchi said, worried, becasue, there > was basically no room left. Dan: Since when did Thane get run of the house? Rick: Since Vegeta showed up with him. > "ohh no, we won't be staying" mike said Rebecca: [Ryoko] Good, get out! > "This is pretty much a pit stop" mike said Tsuneo: [Mike] Well, we're stopping and this place is the pits... Rick: Couldn't you find a crapper somewhere closer to Packard Bell HQ? > "yeah, we need to track down akuma, before he gets the next dragon ball" Bruce > said, nodding. Dan: So what are you all doing standing around here? Rick: Um... Admiring the furniture? > "yeah!, and get revenge for my poor apartment" she sniffed, and burst into tears Tsuneo: I thought it was a hotel room. Rick: Shh. > "WAHHHHH" meka wailed > "Awww, come on punk, Rebecca: Mister polite here. > it's ok, at least you still have me" mike said with a smile Rebecca: I don't know about you, but I'm convinced. > She began to bawl worse hearing that statement. > Everyone got sweatdrops. Rick: I hear they're having a big sale on those right now. > ...............Lets look in on Akuma..... Dan: [Akuma] Damnit! Can't a guy get five minutes' privacy around here? > "GRRRRRRR!!" he growled as he floated midair toward his island home. Tsuneo: [Akuma] This is the last time I fly economy. > "those little wretches!!" Akuma said to himself Rick: And their little dog too! > "they took my fourth, and third dragon balls!!" akuma growled, walking into the > cave. Dan: [Akuma] Honey I'm home! Rebecca: There you are! Where have you been? Were you out chasing those Dragon Balls? I *told* you not to! Dan: [Akuma] Yes, dear... Rebecca: Just look at your evil black outfit! It's all crumpled and messy! You've been fighting again, haven't you? Dan: [Akuma] Yes, dear... Rebecca: It was those lousy Tibetan mMonks again, wasn't it? Rick: Remember kids, the only thing scarier than an evil, maniacal psychotic monster is his wife. > "Well no matter, i will have vengence on them all" akuma grinned. Rebecca: Insert generic evil laughter here. Dan: Well, he's a pretty two-dimensional guy anyway. > ....back to the masaki's..... Tsuneo: Just so we don't have to look at him anymore. Thank you. > "YUCK!" mike gaged Rick: Oh, so he's been reading the fic too. > "eww...What is this stuff" meka asked Tsuneo: It looks like a random collection of words and punctuation spilled onto a page, but I'm just guessing. > "ummm.." Bruce attempted to eat his food Dan: That's the food? I thought it was the placemats. Rebecca: Okay, you hold your fork in this hand and a knife in the other... > yes you guessed it, washuu was cooking again. Tsuneo: Why? Dan: It's part of her master scheme to conquer the universe, I believe. Rick: This is what happens when you let Sasami wander off to parts unknown. > and the guest were not too happy with the taste of the food. > "is it good everyone?" washuu ask witha smile Rebecca: Does good food make people turn green? > "yes washuuu" Veggie said eating Dan: Come on Vegeta, don't take this crap! Demand better service! Threaten to obliterate the planet! Rick: He's actually eating it? Now I know why he's so tough. > "ummm.."bruce could not think of anything good to say. Rebecca: At least he's polite. Tsuneo: Unlike... > "this stuff sucks" mike said All: Mike. > With that washuu stood up and glared Dan: Uh-oh, the midget is angry! > "What was that Mike, Dear." Washuu said sweetly Rebecca: Mike, I think you've just invalidated your existence. > "you heard me, porcupine girl" mike said looking at her Tsuneo: This is the kind of conversation that can only end in a gunshot. > "i do think, you need to learn some manners mike" washuu said, snaping her fingers, > Rift rings comming around mike, holding him in place Rick: Oddly enough, his life insurance just ran out. > "hey! What the" mike squirmed > "oh, this is going to be a long day" tenchi said, with a slight sigh All: Tell us about it. > ....Back in Australia..... Tsuneo: You know, somewhere were they have people. > "So, jim, where are you assigned to tonight?" Cal said Dan: Jim was lucky enough to draw the twenty-four hour shift. > "well, unfortunatly, Im assigned, to watching the meseum" jim said, with a slight > frown Dan: Say, what's a meseum, and why does it need watching anyway? > "oh, yeah, they got that new exibit, the amber stone, or something" cal said Rick: Say, this amber stone wouldn't happen to have these little stars in it? Thought so. > "yeah, super boring, who would want an old rock" jim scratched his head Tsuneo: This is supposed to be ironic. > "i know. but, it's still priced, at a hell of alot of money" cal said, trying to > be helpful Dan: You know that a hell of a lot of money in Australia will buy you three king's ransoms in Hong Kong. > "yeah i guess, well, i will seee you later Cal" jim said, walking back to his beat > "ok" cal said, doing the same Tsuneo: Bye, Cal! Don't you go contributing to the story or anything stupid like that! > ......back at akuma's training grounds..... > Akuma was sitting back in his throne, Rick: [Akuma] Relief at last. > in a trance like state, thinking, deep in thought, Dan: Yeah, I do all my best thinking there too. Rebecca: That's a little more information than I needed to know. > he was looking for the next dragon ball. Tsuneo: [Akuma] Well, it's not behind the couch and it isn't under the fridge... Damnit, where could that thing be? > He grinned, when he got a bead of the dragon ball. > it was in australia. Dan: Well that narrows it down a lot. > and nothing would stop him this time, nothing. Rebecca: Except maybe the end of chapter five. Rick: Or a bunch of kids and their talking dog. He's incompetent enough to lose to them. > .....Back at the masaki house.... Tsuneo: I hear Tenchi's planning to turn that place into a hotel. > "AHHHHHH!! "Mike screamed from the lab > They could all hear washuu giggling slightly. Dan: She's not trying to "sample" him, is she? Rebecca: Are you kidding? He'd enjoy it too much. > "hey, stop that, you pink haired porcupine!!" mike yelled Rick: Sonya Sho Robotnik? Dan: She's a hedgehog, you twerp. Rick: Sorry. > Everyone listend, then silence Dan: This could keep them entertained for hours. Tsuneo: Hello? Akuma? Dragon Balls? Save the world, that kind of thing? Forget it. > "Well i guess mike is having fun" Burce said > "heh, tis guess so.." thane said Rick: Okay Thane, you've officially lost us. > Meka at that moment was waving fans around in the air, that read go Washuu! Rick: I wonder what Washu 3:16 says? Dan: I dunno, but it proably has the words "quantum," "flux" and "cute" in there. > "well gee, meka, don't side with the crazy scientist or anything" Bruce said Rebecca: Give up Bruce, no-one likes you. > "women gotta stick together!!" meka said > "yeah!" ryoko said, agreeing with meka. > All the males in the room got a huge sweatdrop Tsuneo: Come on, people. Laugh. Rebecca: I'm losing my will to live. > ...Back with Akuma.... > By now akuma was one his way to Australia.... Dan: [Akuma] This time, I'm going first class. > He had it set in his mind, that he would not let them gain the dragon ball before > he, this time.. Tsuneo: So why didn't he go earlier? Rick: That show he likes was on. > ...Back in aussie... Rick: Veggie! Aussie! Meka! What next, Tench? Ryok? > "ughh..this is so damn boring" All: We know. > jimmy said walking back and forth in the museum... > Just then akuma, Crashed through the skylight to the museum. Tsuneo: [Akuma] I'm Batman! I've always wanted to do that. > Jimmy ran to the place where the crash was, Rebecca: Wall Street, 1929. > and then he seen akuma..his eyes widend... Dan: [Jimmy] Hold on... I'm going to have a cardiac arrest! THUMP! > "Aww hell, i don't get paid enough to be arresting guys, who go through GLASS > ROOFS!" jimmy yelled backing up... Dan: Come on, any idiot can fall through a glass roof. Rebecca: It's getting up afterwards that's the tricky part. > Akuma just grinned > Jimmy took out his gun Tsuneo: That's a banana. Rick: [Jimmy] It is? What did I put in my kid's lunch? > "But none the less" jimmy pointed the gun at akuma > "Back down Mr. Don't make me let your brains see sunlight" jimmy said, getting > closer Rebecca: If he was a real Victorian cop, it'd be: "BANG! BANG! FREEZE!" Rick: And if it was an NSW cop, he'd ask for fifty bucks to look the other way. > "hmph, do you actually think that you are going to stop me?" akuma said with a > smirk Dan: Well, it would mean an end to the fic. > "well. i can damn sure try"jimmy fired, the bullet bounced off like it had hit > solid steel Tsuneo: Okay, now what? Rick: I see Mrs. Akuma put too much starch in his laundry again. > Akuma laughed slightly at the attempt as he enegery sheild flickered, Rebecca: [Akuma] I've gotta change the batteries in that thing. > then faded back to normal.. > "HOLY??" jimmy roared?! Tsuneo: I don't know, did he? > "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!!?" jimmy yelled Rick: [Akuma] I am a farmer. Dan: [Akuma] I'm just a guy, y'know? > "That really does not matter, because, you are not going to live another day.." > Akuma said > With that he grabed the Dragon ball from the glass case... Dan: [Akuma] In retrospect, I should have opened the case first. That's going to hurt. Rebecca: Don't you know? Even Goldberg fears sheet glass! > Then with the DB in > hand, he slamed his fist into the ground. The Museum started to crumble, from > shockwaves. Rebecca: Actually, that's just the shoddy workmanship. > Jimmy's eyes widend when he realized what was going on, and started running like > hell to the exit. > Akuma's Cackling echoed madly through the building, as it collapsed.. Rick: On top of him? Dan: [Akuma] Whoops... Should've thought about that one some more. > ....Back in Japan.... > Another new Day was just rising over the residence. Tsuneo: Care to mention which residence it was? There's quite a few of them. Rebecca: Actually, that's just Mike being immolated. > But, on this day, no one was sleeping in. Dan: The haunting screams of the tortured audience were keeping them awake. > Everyone was up...Mike was still half asleep leaning against a tree...Meka > Thawped him hard as hell.. Rick: Say, just how do you "thawp" someone? > "ACKK!" mike flew to the ground Tsuneo: This is meant to be the comedy relief. > "idiot" meka grunted > Bruce shook his head, and mumbled something Rebecca: He thinks about as much of them as we do. > Vegeta continued to gear up, putting on some odd looking armor. Dan: I think it goes the other way around. Tsuneo: I just don't think that battle bikini suits him. > Thane, just stood fast waiting to leave. Rick: [Thane] Um... Do I have a line now? > "Alright Thane, Ready to go?" Veggie said with a grin Rebecca: Dear God, don't let it go there. > "as always veggie lad, as always" Thane said calmly Dan: [Vegeta] What have I told you about calling me "Veggie?" Rick: Scratch one planet. > "Yeah, lets kick some akuma ass" mike said getting up out of the dirt Rebecca: Why? He belongs there. > "lets go get some revenge, eh bruce?" meka said > Bruce nodded. Tsuneo: [Bruce] One question: Why do we have to drag Mike along? > "Alright then.."Vegeta looked at the DB locator...it listed that the 5th Db was > moving. and moving fast. > "Aghh damn, he beat us too it, Rebecca: Gee, I wonder why. > well we should go to australia none the less" veggie said Rick: Any reason? Dan: Cheap beer and bonus frequent flyer miles. Tsuneo: Besides, Mike's paying. > Thane nodded > With That Thane, and Vegeta, teleported Bruce, Meka, and mike to austrailia.... Dan: And wouldn't you know it, their luggage wound up in London. > End Part 5 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chapter 5 stinger: > "Well, Why are we standing around here for" Bruce said > "i do nae know" Thane said, with a shrug. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > ShinAkuma V.S Vegeta > "The Race for the Dragon Balls" > Part 6 > ShinAkuma VS. Vegeta > "The Race for the Dragon Balls" > Part 6 Rick: In case you missed the title the first time around. > In Aussie again....... > Jimmy coughed, crawling out of the trashcan he had dove into as he got > outside. Tsuneo: Brilliant landing there. Risk: Well, he found the script while he was there. > "Awwww man, what the hell happend?" Jimmy looked at the remains of the > huge building. > "Hope they don't take this out of my pay again" Jimmy said, taking a > banana peel off of his head. Dan: Again? how many demolished buildings has this guy paid for? > Just then Vegeta, Thane, Mike, Bruce, and Meka appeared. Rick: [Jimmy] Man, I've got to knock off the hard stuff. > "What the hell is it now?!?" Jimmy growled. Tsuneo: I don't know, you tell us. > He then took out his gun. > "Alright, spread eagle!" he said pointing the gun at Vegeta's head. Dan: Ooh, he must be terrified. > "Che" Veggie grinned. He flung a chi blast at Jimmy and Rebecca: Nice knowing you. > the gun melted in his hand. Dan: Any reason why Vegeta's restraining himself? Rick: He wants to conserve his END. He's down to only a few thousand points. > "AGH!!" Jimmy yelled as he let go of the piece of scrap metal. > "Ok, where is he?" Meka looked around. Tsuneo: Well, he isn't behind the lamp post, he isn't hiding in the bin... Dan: Say, you seen this guy go past, about so tall... You know, black skin, red hair, glowing eyes... > "Ya know, this guy really has a thing for destroying buildings," Mike > said. Tsuneo: Uh, Mike? Behind you. Pointy hair, you remember? > Everyone else got a sweatdrop Rebecca: Those things are contagious. > while Jimmy was attempting to subdue Veggie. Dan: With what, a nuclear missile? Tsuneo: Any reason why he's picking on Vegeta? Rick: He's the most normal looking one. > "Monsters, aliens... Rick: Killer whales, aesthetic terrorists, living skinsuits... All in a day's work. > whatever the hell you are," Jimmy threw a kick. Dan: I'll settle on "whatever" for Mike. > Veg just dodged, and Jim went flying into a trash can. Rebecca: This guy is so effective. > "Ughwahhh!" Jimmy yelled as he crashed into the cans. Tsuneo: That's probably his best line yet. > "Alright lad, enough just standing around, Akuma nae be here, he hath > upped us again," Thane said looking at Jim who was in a crumpled heap. Rick: While everyone else was staring at Thane, wondering what he'd just said. Rebecca: [Jameka] But surely that's impossible without at least one live chicken and a Rabbi! > Jimmy eventually straightend himself up and got out of the heap he was > in. Dan: He'll never escape this heap he calls a life. > He got up and looked at Bruce and the rest. Rick: Why's Bruce so important all of a sudden? Tsuneo: Who would you rather look at? Dan: Jameka? > "What the hell is going on here?!" Jimmy yelled. All: You tell us. > "Well lad, the fact that the moon rock ye were protecting does nae help > anything, but..." Tsuneo: Thane, you're nae help- Damn, not helping either. > Thane went on and on about what was going on. Rick: You've got us. Dan: [Jimmy] Did any of you catch that? Rebecca: [Jameka] I don't understand it, and I was there. > "Ok, ok, I get the point," Jim said. Dan: Good, could you tell us then? Rick: [Jimmy] Anything to make him shut up. > "So who is this Akuma guy really?" Jim asked. Tsuneo: Some overused Capcom character who the authour thinks is cool. > "He be a demon who hath called out Vegeta... and destroyed his dojo... > along with beating him down," Thane said, pointing to everyone as he > mentioned them. Dan: But I didn't know Vegeta had a dojo. Rick: Thane's even confusing himself. > "Yeah, I still owe him some payback," Mike said, punching his fist into > his hand. Rebecca: Say, what's the interest rate on payback nowadays? > "Yeah, you and what army, Mike?" Meka stepped up. Rick: The entire Luxembourg navy! > "Hey Meeks!" Jim said, grabbing her up in a hug. Dan: I was wondering how long it would take him to notice her. > The group looked at them. Rick: [Bruce] Do we know these people? > "Ummm... Are you two related?" Vegeta asked. > "Yeah, we are Vegeta," Meka said. Rebecca: At least they'd like to be. Dan: And here I thought Vegeta was the little guy with the big hair. > "Cousins," Jim reponded. > "Ok, ok," Vegeta said. Tsuneo: Someone please tell me why this is important. > "Alright then. Veg, where do ye think the next two Dragon Balls be?" > Thane asked. Rick: One of them's under a rock in Canada. Don't ask us which rock, though. Rebecca: The other one is actually back at Tenchi's place. Granpa's been using it as a paperweight. > "Yeah Vegeta," Bruce said. > "Hmmm... Well according to this... Rick: [Vegeta] Soylent Green is made of people. > The final Dragon Ball is in America." Veg said. Tsuneo: But there's still two to go. > "San Francisco, to be exact," he added. Dan: Oh, so America gets a city, but Australia is left with just generic Australia. > "Well then lad, let's nae waste our time," Thane said. Rick: [Mike] That's why we're standing here! Unh... Wait a sec... > Vegeta nodded. > End Part Six. Tsuneo: That was a chapter? Where did it go? Rick: I'm beginning to wonder that myself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chapter 6 stinger: > "Ughwahhh!" Jimmy yelled as he crashed into the cans. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > ShinAkuma VS. Vegeta > "The Race For The Dragon Balls" > Part Seven > "The Final Battle" Rick: The final insult. Dan: This should only take about five or six episodes. > The night sky in San Fran Rebecca: San Fran! Jim! Meka! Veg! Does this authour have a fetish for contractions, or is he just that lazy? > was warm and silent, except for the sounds of > cars down below on the Golden Gate bridge. Tsuneo: So it wasn't very quiet then, was it? Rebecca: You think it's loud now, wait until they all turn on their Bette Midler albums at once. > Akuma stared down at the people going by in cars below. > He thought to himself, "Hmph, what pitiful fools. Soon this planet > will be in the palm of my hand, to crush like an insect." Dan: [Vegeta] Big deal, I can already do that. > He laughed evily, the sound resonating across the bay. Tsuneo: Along with the loud hacking cough that followed it. > Meanwhile.... > Meka snorted. Dan: Man, this fic's so bad it's got her on the hard stuff. > "I don't see the point in going to this nightclub Vegeta," She looked > down at her clothes, "Especially in this GETUP!" Rick: Sorry, the Imperial Stormtrooper look does not suit you. > "Ahhh shaddup Meka, Dan: [Vegeta] Do you want me to atomize your boyfriend then? Rebecca: [Jameka] Yes. > how else are we going to get info on the Dragon Ball > if we don't go in here?" Veg said. Tsuneo: I believe your dragon radar or scouter could track it down, but never mind thinking about these things. > Bruce, in the meantime, was wearing a leather jacket with chains > weighing him down. Rick: Obviously they're all trying to pick up guys. > "ACK!!" he grunted. > "Cool!" Mike zipped up his leather jacket. > "Moron," Meka said. Rebecca: And if we knew what they were talking about... > "You just say that cause you know I look good in it, Meka," Mike > scoffed. Rick: I'm sure a lot of guys would agree. In San Francisco, that is. > "HA!" Meka countered. Tsuneo: No, that's only used by people who aren't intelligent enough to think up a proper response. Dan: HA! Rebecca: You win, Tsuneo. > "Alright, alright, ye can argue later," Thane said, ushering them > inside. Rick: [Thane] Can we please get this fic moving? Please? > They all sat down at a table and looked around. A waitress came over. > They all ordered some water. Dan: Wimps. Rick: Are you kidding? Vegeta had his in a dirty glass! > Then a rather tall man came and sat by them. Rick: [Lurch] You rang? > Vegeta looked up. > "Are you the guy?" Veg asked him. Rebecca: No, he's The Man. The Guy is two tables over. > "Me? Oh no, I'm just a friendly jewelry thief," the man said, "In fact, > I have a piece of jewelry that you all might be interested in." He sat > the final Dragon Ball onto the table. Tsuneo: Hello? I thought there were two more. Rick: Thane got hungry and had a midnight snack. > They all gasped in surprise. Dan: Vegeta promptly blew him away and took it. > "Ok, how much?" Bruce spoke up. Rebecca: I'll do you a trade for twelve gross of self-sealing stem-bolts or a hundred bottles of Yamok sauce. > "Yeah, is this going to break us?" Mike said. Rick: No, but the drinks will. Have you seen the mark-up in this place? > "No, no, it's a bargain," the man grinned. "Fifty million," he said > calmly. Tsuneo: Is that in "yens?" Just wondering. Dan: No, that's a joke. > "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" They all fell over. Mike got back up first. Rebecca: Okay Vegeta, plan B. Dan: Poor guy hasn't gotten to annihilate anything for the whole fic. > "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR COTTON-PICKING, JEWLERY-THIEVING MIND?!?!" Mike > roared. All: Yes. > The entire bar went silent, the music just stopped, and everyone > looked at Mike and the jewelry thief. Dan: Not me. It was him. > "Errrr..." Mike did not know what to say. Rick: Not that it seems to stop him often. > The bar eventaully went back > tonormal. Two rather huge men walked over to the table. Rebecca: Hey look, it's DOA. Or Creative Control. Or the Harris Boys. Or whatever they're calling themselves today. > They cracked their knuckles and looked at Mike. > "Unless you quiet down, we will have to *escort* you outside," the men > growled. Dan: I'm sure they're all just *trembling* in their boots. > "What the?!" Mike looked at them. "Get outta my way Flabios," he said, > pushing them aside and taking the Dragon Ball as well. Vegeta, Meka and > Bruce also bumped into them *accidentally* as they went by. Rick: If you call instant vaporisation a "bump." > "HEY!! What about my money!!" The jewelry thief got up. Mike chucked a > briefcase at him. Tsuneo: Head shot. Very well done. > "Fifty thousand, like we agreed," Mike said with a smirk. Rebecca: Mike should clean the fluff out of his ears more often. > "Grrr... You're lucky we don't kill you, pal," Vegeta said, punching > his fist into his hand. Dan: [Vegeta] Stupid bloody... I should blow up the whole planet. > Promptly, they all exited the nightclub. > "Alright, Veg Lad, where is he?" Thane said sternly. Veg looked at the > DB locator. Tsuneo: Why didn't we use this sucker earlier? > "He is at the Golden Gate bridge," he said, Rick: [Vegeta] He's obviously looking for a historical landmark to destroy. > "Almost like he is waiting for us." Dan: You reckon? > "Aye he is... I can sense it," Thane said. He looked at them all. Rebecca: So why didn't you say so earlier? Dan: [Thane] My moron sense is tingling! > "Ok lads... and lasses," he said, looking at Meka. "This be it. The > final showdown. Are ye sure ye do nae want to turn back?" he asked. Rick: well, maybe if they knew what the hell you were saying. > "No, I want to pay Akuma back," Bruce said. > "Yeah, me too," Meka said. > "OH HELL YEAH!" Mike yelled. Dan: They're all doomed. Tsuneo: Wait a second, didn't they bring Jimmy along? Did they? Rick: No, I think Jimmy just stayed home and was boring. > Thane nodded. "Alright then, let's go..." Rebecca: Yes! Let's have something happen. > They were all teleported by > Thane and Vegeta. As they appeared, they saw that the bridge had been > blocked off by a police barricade. Rick: Police line. Do not cross. Caution, fresh blood. > They could all see Akuma standing on > the middle of the bridge. He was teasing the police with chi blasts. Dan: Teasing them? > The police were returning fire, but it was no use. Tsuneo: Say, if there's barricades on each side and the police are firing across the middle, wouldn't they be shooting each other? Rebecca: These are American cops. What do you expect? > "YO, AKUMA!!" Mike yelled to get his attention. Akuma turned with a > grin. Dan: Someone hurry up and blast someone! The alleged plot's practically hibernating! > "I have been waiting for you all," he laughed. "Come now, Vegeta, and > accept your fate," he smiled, "For it was I who sent you the letter," he > said calmly. Rick: [Vegeta] The what? Dan: [Thane] The letter? The one I spent two chapters pointing out to you? Rick: [Vegeta] No. Dan: [Thane] You know! The bloody plot device that was used to get this story moving? Rick: [Vegeta] Nnnnnope. > "Oh, really?" Veg stepped up. "Well pal, you're going down today." Veg > gave him the thumbs down. Rick: I wonder what ever happened to the perpetually polite Vegeta. Rebecca: I wonder what ever happened to the nigh-omnipotent badass who blew up planets just because he could. > "Oh, my dear Vegeta, I think not." With that Akuma stepped back, > dropping all of the Dragon Balls he had around him. Dan: Which accomplished absolutely nothing, because he only had three. Rick: [Akuma] Damn, now I'm going to have to pick them all up. > Soon they began floating and spinning around him. Rebecca: And Vegeta blasted him while he was posing. The end. > He grinned in the orange whirlwind. Then, a bright flash. And Akuma > stood there in an orange gi with the Dragon Balls floating behind him. > Akuma was now... Rick: Really silly looking. > ShinAkuma. Tsuneo: Whoop-de-shit. Rebecca: This could only be lamer if he'd turned into Cyber-Akuma. > `"Come to me Vegeta, and die!" Akuma laughed. Dan: [Vegeta] Whatever. Final Flash. So what's on Raw? > Veg charged Akuma and punched him across the face. Rick: Why's he bothering to punch Akuma when he could just zorch him into oblivion? Dan: Doesn't want to waste the effort. > Akuma retaliated, ax > kicking him and slamming him into the concrete of the bridge. Tsuneo: [Vegeta] Yummy yummy. > Meanwhile, Thane, Meka, Bruce and Mike began to pool their chi. Rick: Hello? are you guys actually going to do anything? Rebecca: [Jameka] Let's see... You've got five points, I've got seven, he's got three... We could be here a while. > Vegeta continued with his onslaught, flaring into SSJ. Rebecca: From here on in, anything Akuma tries is pretty much pointless. > He hurled a HUGE blast at Akuma, which somehow missed Rick: He is so out of practice. > and exploded a S.W.A.T. truck. Dan: *Just* the truck? Try the city. Rick: Don't you know? That truck had 400 MDC at least. Dan: So? > The police scattered everywhere. Rebecca: [Police] We're only Competent Normals, we don't stand a chance. > Akuma growled, and hurled a Mesatsugohadouken Rick: TM. > at Vegeta. It hit with great force. Tsuneo: He didn't notice, of course. [They all start chanting "Goldberg"] > Veg slammed > through the bridge into the cold bay water below, only to shoot back up > through the bridge under Akuma, comboing him while flaring into SSJ2. Dan: [Vegeta] I'm back! > Akuma moved back, or floated back rather. > "Hmm... You're good Vegeta, but nothing can stop me Tsuneo: You're petulant, but not concentrated enough! > as long as I tap the powers of these four Dragon Balls. Rebecca: Three, sir! Rick: They don't have any. They're stone at the moment, remember? > And after I crush you, those fools > are next." Akuma pointed to Thane and the others. Rebecca: [Akuma] Aw heck, why not just annihilate them with a single gesture right now? > "Hmph... You ain't gonna touch them pal. You will be dead before that." Tsuneo: What intense and witty dialogue. > Veg fired off a volley of huge blasts. Akuma canceled them out with > blast of his own. Rebecca: Up, down, up, down, my! What energy. > "HA!! You cannot defeat me, Vegeta. Rick: [Akuma] I'm invincible! Dan: You're a looney. Rebecca: He puts so much emotion into it. > Give up now and I promise a quickdeath." Tsuneo: Without the worries of spacing. > Akuma grabbed Veg by the throat and began to squeeze. > "RAGHHHHH!!" Vegeta squirmed. He began to flare into SSK3. Dan: Oh, that's why it's not working! He isn't going Super Saiya-Jin, he's going super Saiya-something-starting-with-"K" instead! Rebecca: Dan, you're a moron. Dan: Tell me I'm wrong. Rebecca: I'm not arguing that. It's just that, well, you're a moron. > "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rick: Guess he don't like the corn bread either. > Vegeta flared his powers, knocking Akuma > away from him, but not down. Akuma retaliated with an even bigger blast, > one that snapped some cables on the bridge as it missed Veg. Dan: That's it? Some cables? Any DBZ martial artist would have totalled the bridge by now! > The bridge > creaked and began to crack frominstability. Veg got over near Thane. Tsuneo: [Vegeta] I'm not actually doing anything important, I just dropped by for a chat. > "Any time now, Thane!!" Veg said. Rebecca: Hurry up, the chapter's almost over. > "I can't keep this up for long!!" he yelled. Dan: What, mister five-episode fight scene is getting tired? Get real. > Thane did not say anything, but gave a nod. Vegeta went back to > trying to pound down Akuma. It was not doing anything good. Akuma > grabbed Veg up, ready to Demon Fury him. Tsuneo: Vegeta countered with a light punch and ruined Akuma's preparation. Everyone laughed at him for using such a cheap move. Akuma's player shoved another buck into the machine. > Then came a strong blast to Akuma's back. Dan: [Akuma] Hold on boys, you can't all die at once. > "Alright, asshole!!" Mike tightend his sparring gloves. Rick: That's what took them so long, they had to put on their costumes. > "Now this ends." Bruce readied. [They all cheer] > "We are about to kick your ass all up and down the streets of San > Francisco!" Meka said. Rebecca: Ooh, he must be truly terrified. > "How amusing!" Akuma dropped Veg. He got up and forward rolled over to > Mike and the others. Tsuneo: Whereupon someone bipped him on the nose with another light punch. Dan: [Akuma] AARGH! Stop that! > "KEEZ-KWON-DO ULTIMATE ATTACK: HUMMINGBIRD MEGAWAVE!!" Bruce kaied and > fired off a huge volt that shot toward Akuma with the speed of a > hummingbird. Rick: Sorry to ruin your moment, but that's quite painfully slow for an energy attack. > Mike stepped into Bruce's blast, Dan: AACK! Rebecca: That was smart. Tsuneo: Shows just how much they like each other. > grabbing Akuma. Rick: Watch it, there could be a lawsuit in that. Rebecca: Getting a bit fresh aren't we? > "PURIFYING ANGEL!!" Mike shouted, and the blast got even bigger. > "NEVER-ENDING SHINRYUUKEN!!" Meka yelled as she ran in and started her > final attack. Tsuneo: And she just kept spiraling up, and up, and up and out of the atmosphere. Dan: Did she learn that one from Guilty Gear? > "SHINKUUHADOUKEN!!" Rick: [Thane] Cor blimey me laddyo! > Thane chimed in, firing off his blast. And here's the big finish, Akuma... Tsuneo: Was that just the authour ranting, or what? Rebecca: I think there's some quotation marks missing there. > Veg floated up. Dan: Wait for it... > "FINAL FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He shouted, letting off the huge blast. Rick: Why didn't you just start off with that, and avoid this whole lame... Ah, forget it. > KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! > "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Akuma shouted as the final > attackhit. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I WILL BE BACK!!! MARK MY > WORDS!!!!" All: Sequel. > Akuma vanished into a huge red light as the bridge was totally destroyed. Dan: Oops. > Thane caught Meka, Bruce, and Mike, and was floating > in midair. A Dragon Ball each fell into Mike's, Meka's, and Bruce's > hands. Veg caught the fourth. Rebecca: Hey, where'd that come from? Rick: [Tom Servo] That? I've been using it to make hot chocolate. > "Ughhh. What a mess." Thane shook his head. > "What are we going to do?! We can't pay for a bridge that's > irreplaceable!" Mike said. > "Well, what can we do?" Meka said. Tsuneo: Let's see... Seven dragon balls... > "It's simple... I guess we hide out in Japan," Bruce said. Dan: [Tenchi] And I just cleaned the place up. > ............................................... > And from there it unfolds. Tsuneo: Or unravels, more likely. > Shortly after the Dragon Balls were > re-scattered across the Earth by Vegeta, Dan: [Vegeta] Actually, the minute their backs are turned, it's immortality time for Vegeta! > Mike, Meka, and Bruce were accepted into the Masaki household for now. Rick: Give me one good reason why. Rebecca: Vegeta said so. > The End. All: Hooray! > That Concludes > ShinAkuma VS. Vegeta > "The Race For The Dragon Balls" > Comments, questions, WHY? OH WHY DID YOU CREATE THIS?! Tsuneo: No doubt the answer would be something like "It was late and I was tired." > Mail me > XDarkThane@AOL.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chapter 7 stinger: > "Are you the guy?" Veg asked him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [A massive blast of energy shoots down through the roof of the apartment, taking out the TV, the cabinet, the wall it's up against and most of the floor. And half of the apartment block, for that matter.] Vegeta: [O/S] And that's for calling me "Veggie." [Long pause] Dan: O-kay. Rebecca: Well. Rick: I guess we've got to do reviews. Voice: Please? Tsuneo: I'll just say it was the most brainless, incoherent pice of trash I've ever seen and leave it at that. Dan: I want to know how he managed to write Vegeta like that: a weak, beer-swilling yobbo who can't even fend off Akuma. Rick: I missed four chapters of this fic, yet I didn't miss a thing. Rebecca: I'll only add that there is this little thing called the paragraph. The authour might have heard of it. It might help if he used one every now and then. Voice: Well, I um, won't keep you any longer. Rick: You realise when we get back, this place will be in disturbingly perfect condition. Rebecca: this even beats what Shion did to it in BGShift part 2. Dan: Let's get a drink. We deserve one. [They file out. The screen goes blank] Voice: How am I going to explain this one? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Dan and Tsuneo are copyright 1995-2000 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley & Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-2000 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!