And now for our fifth MSTing. Rebecca's back, and nothing's going to stop her! Atonement is copyright 1988 by Steve Gerencser, someone who watches Robotech but doesn't watch it, if you know what I mean. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. Tsuneo is sitting at the computer, while Dan is on one of the couches drinking.] [The door opens. Rick & Rebecca enter] Rick: So did you get what you were after? Rebecca: Yup. Unfortunately, customs wouldn't let me bring it through. Rick: That's too bad. It would have made a nice companion peice for your Gonterman. Dan: Oh gods, it's you again. Rebbeca: [Runs over to him, hugging him] Miss me? Dan: [Stands stunned for a second] Er... yeah. [Rebecca lets him go.] Tsuneo: Hi guys. Rick: Have fun while we were gone? Tsuneo: Sort of. The Voice sent us a Mike Surbrook story about Marta and Ling Ling to watch. Rick: Oh dear. [Aside to Tsuneo] So did Dan... Tsuneo: Despite him making it blatantly obvious, he didn't figure it out. Rick: Rats. It was probably a good thing that Rebecca wasn't here. Tsuneo: You can say that again. Rebecca: What are you guys talking about? Rick & Tsuneo: Never mind! Rebecca [under her breath] Men! Dan: So, any fan mail? Tsuneo: Here's one from Jason Trenner (xforcer@hotmail.com), regarding Homecomings. > You are great! Loved the Battletech ref.(and the use of Inferno!) > And is Dr. Forester the voice? I'll rip out his opti..er eyes. > And be thankful for _no_ Oscar or Ratliff stories...(and Injector > is much uglier than Inferno). Tsuneo: Sorry, I only had Inferno handy. Bite me. Rick: See! Someone did get that Wolverine, Widowmaker & Mongoose bit! Rebecca: Yeah, yeah... Dan: Nah, the voice identified himself as someone called Jinas in our first session. > It Never ends! Tsuneo: I'm afraid not. Rick: Oh my god! Someone else who read Transformers Gen 2. Rebecca: Who is injector anyway? Tsuneo: Here's one from Mike Surbrook, after we saw his... work. > Whew, you are brutal. Was it really that bad? Tsuneo: I won't comment. But, yes. > I admit that "Price" was my attempt to write a John Woo gunfight, > complete with bouncing shell casings and people spinning through > space as they get riddled with bullets. Dan: That about adequately sums it up. Tsuneo: Unfortunately, John Woo gunfights don't work in text. Sorry, Mike, but you asked for it. Rick: Sounds like loads of fun. Dan: Yeah, Marta was in it! Rebecca: So we heard. Tsuneo: One here from Paul Fauth: > Where oh where did I go wrong. My boy, my boy, you sick little puppy. Dan: You said it, pal. Thanks for the support. Tsuneo: Here's one from Naia Zifu on "Homecomings" > This story was more funny than dark and Gothic-- all the silly > mistakes alone make it funny. The comments were silly, too, though. I > was pleased to get some of the jokes that were alleged no-one would get. > The little battle re-enactment scene in the middle was pretty > unnecessary, though, and only mildly amusing. It's better to stay with > the story, unless your little interludes are fun enough to be worth the > extra space and interruption. Please, for all our sakes, do a better > quality of fanfic every once in a while! These so far are all > stinkers... Rick: The battle scene was there to save our minds form turning to mush. Rebecca: Something Dan doesn't need to worry about. Dan: Hey! Tsuneo: We'll do a better fic when we get one. You hear that Voice? Voice: Hi there Rick.... Rebecca. Rebecca: [Innocently] Hi there Mr Great Big Head In The Sky. Voice: Ha ha. Rick, I took in what you said about the Fanfic subject matter. Rick: Thank you! I hope what ever we're getting today isn't centred around a show that uses nauseating cuteness as its main selling point. Voice: You could have just told me though. There was no need for a hunger strike in front of the Chinese embassy. Rick: I felt it was the only way to get the message across. Voice: And did you have to chain yourself to it? Rick: Er... Maybe not. Rebbeca: Anyway, what have you got for us today? Tsuneo: Please let it be something with no sign of Sasami. I've been good. Dan: Are we going to get a Lemon at last? Rebecca: Men! Dan: Like _you_ can talk! Rebecca [pokes tounge out at him] Voice: As I was saying. Today's fic is a Robotech Fanfic- Rick: YES! Something decent at last. As long as it wasn't written by PWW.. Rebecca: The _late_ PWW you mean. Rick: Whatever. Dan: Am I missing something here? Rick: No. Voice: As I was saying, A Robotech Fanfic called "Robotech: Atonement", by some guy called Steve Gerencser. So If you'll all take your places, please. [They file over to the couches. Rick and Rebecca sit on the couch nearest to the TV while Dan and Tsueo sit on the one facing it. Rebecca puts her feet up on the coffee table. Dan gives Rebecca an inquisitive look.] [The TV Screen lights up] > © Steve Gerencser April 1998 Rick [Cowboy Voice] Splash One, Gershner (Steve) Rebecca: No-one's gonna get that one. Tsuneo: At least this one doesn't think he's an Anime babe. > Robotech is copyright Harmony Gold, all characters used Rick: And mangled. Dan: Hey, this one might be good. Remember what the voice said? Rebecca: And I'm the queen of Spain. > without their permission in the hopes they won't care. Rick: He at least got that one right. > Any similarity to anything written before is purely accidental. Tsuneo: Any similarity to the English language is likewise accidental. > Author's note: This story sprang to life almost full blown over the > course of just a few days. I hadn't been writing much, and it just > kind of happened. Rick: That would describe most of the fics we get. Tsuneo: In other words: save yourself some pain and end it now. > I'm not really sure where the idea came from, but > I felt the time shortly after the destruction of the SDF-1 needed to > be explored a bit more than it had. How Rick dealt with his survivor's > guilt and how Lisa came to take care of him always bothered me. So > here is my interpretation of what happened. Rick: What does he mean by 'Lisa take care of him,' pray tell? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't they already together at the end of the series? Tsuneo: Geez, you're getting as worked up as Dan usually does. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Rick nosed his veritech over and powered after the three fighter pods > that just passed below him. Something told him the renegades would > come this way Rick: He'd been reading the script in advance. > when he heard the alert about their raid. Procedure told > him to call it in and wait for his wingman, Dan: So what's the bets he ignores it? [All raise their hands] > but the fire that has been burning him up inside Rebecca: Quick! Get an extinguiser! > told him otherwise. Tsuneo: [Motherly voice] Now don't you go doing anything reasonable, young man! > "They don't even see me," thinks Rick, Tsuneo: 'Nosed' and 'thinks?' When is this happening - past or present? Dan: [Bluebottle] Thinks thanks to brains, new wonder head filler. > "They're so intent on getting > away that they aren't even checking their radar." Rick: Never mind the fact that radars point _ahead_ and don't have 360 degree coverage. You mean their RWRs, don't you? > All lined up, it > would be so easy to just pop three missiles and end this quick." Rebecca: So why don't you? That's what I would do. Tsuneo: Who's talking? When did he start? > But > that wouldn't help him settle the rage he feels every time he sees a > Zentraedi. Rick: Am I to presume that includes allies like Breetai and Exadore? Or his best friend's wife? Tsuneo: Calm down, boy, it's only a fic. > Instead, Rick pushed the throttle to 110% Tsuneo: Um... I'm not the expert here, but isn't that mathematically impossible? Rebecca: He could be meaning afterburner, in which case it would be set to 'burner.' Dan: Naw. That's too easy. > and dove straight through their formation without firing a single shot. Rick: Probably the dumbest single move you can do in a dogfight. Dan: Personally, I'd have fed them the missiles long ago. Rebecca: Like when? From sixty km out? > The stunned renegades break formation but quickly recover their senses > and dive after the veritech that just blew by. "If the human wants to > commit suicide," Tsuneo: [Zentraedi] It'll speed up this fic. Let him! > thinks D'Thon, Rick: Ah, yes, Robotech fanfic standby 101. All Zentraedi have Klingon names. > "we'll be happy to oblige him." > Two of the ships Tsuneo: Fighters. > head straight for the tail of Skull One while the third breaks high right Rick: High right! [He and dan give each other a high five.] Tsuneo: Lame. > to box Rick in. Rebecca: [Looks pointedly at Rick] I can't imagine why. > D'Thon and his wingman close to gun range and open fire simultaneously. Rick: Wouldn't it just be smarter to hang back and fill him with missiles? It's not like the fighter pod has a shortage of them or anything. Dan: Fanboy. > The veritech in their sites begins to dodge wildly as shot after shot > rakes the side and wing. Rick: Never mind what happens when fighter pods shoot veritechs. Boom. Dan: Like in Booby Trap? Rick: Well, you get the picture. The only place they take that much damage is in the... [Distasteful] RPG. > Suddenly the veritech begins to change shape > into a shortened aircraft with legs and arms. Dan: We all know what a guardian mode is, thank you very much. > As the two fighter pods shoot past Skull One D'Thon lets out a loud > laugh. Rick: Diabolical laughter. Rebecca: Diabolical fanfic. > Rick feels the g's rise as he slams forward in his harness [All jerk forwards, then are thrown back into the couches.] > and watches the two bandits on his tail flash by. Dan: Do we want to make another lame flash gag? Others: Nah. > Suddenly a barrage of fire from his right rocks his plane. Rick: Which should have exploded by now. > "Damn!" thinks Rick, "and I was laughing > about them not paying attention." Tsuneo: No, the Zentraedi was laughing about being a bad pilot. > Rick pulls hard on the stick and > slings his left arm out with his GU-11 Dan: Why is it suddenly his left arm? He was always right-handed before. > as he fires a long burst of armor > piercing rounds into the engines of the fighter pod Rebecca: [Western drawl] Time for a hot lead suppository! > that just jumped him. > A satisfying glow begins to flow over Rick as the renegade ship bursts > into a ball of debris and fire. Rick: He takes _how_ many hits and keeps flying, and the fighter pod takes _how_ many hits and blows up? Rebecca: And since when did Rick get a kick out of blowing things up? I think he made that pretty damn well clear during the series that he's not in it for the explosions. Dan: You two are hopeless. [Rebecca and Rick stare at Dan, then start laughing.] > Rick scans his instrument panel to count the red lights beginning to > glow. Rick: [Rick] Hmm, according to this, I'm dead. Cool. > A quick look outside shows him the path the other renegades > took. Dan: Over the hills and far away. Tsuneo: If they're lucky. > He reaches for the transformation lever to return to fighter > mode tochase Tsuneo: Er... whatever. > those bastards down. Rick: [Kyle] You bastards! > As Rick accelerates through mach 1 the plane begins to shakes violently. Rick: No, at this point it should be disintegrating. > Another quick scan of the panel > shows him the problem. Most of his veritech's right arm is missing. Dan: Actually, a few thousand warning alarms would have told him this by now. Rick: Or, for that matter, looking out the window. > Reflexively he must have used it to shield the cockpit. Rebecca: I'd love to know how he planned to do that in guardian mode. > "Speed isn't important now anyway," [Dan starts laughing] Rebecca: First law of air combat: Speed is life. > thinks Rick as he sees the > renegades circling back to finish off the damaged veritech. Rebecca: Why bother? A moderate sneeze would knock it down. Dan: Did these guys go to Bad Thugs school or something? > Head to head Skull One and the bandits close at over 4000kph. Rick: Whoah, boy. Dan: That's a sure-fire way to get a one-way ticket to splatsville. Rebecca: Never mind the fact that it only hits about mach 2.6 to start with. > As they > enter firing range of each other All: Missiles. > Rick opens up with his lasers Rick: Nose lasers! Aargh! Dan: Nothing in the world will make me ask about that one. Rick: [Muttered] Bet that fighter pod's got a force field too. > on the > ship on the right while the other one pulls up hard and further to the > left. [All shake around in their seats] > Rick and the renegade continue to close, each firing madly at the > other. Dozens of rounds strike Skull One, Rebecca: Blasts. Energy weapoins fire blasts, not rounds. Rick: Never mind the fact that it should have exploded about four or five times over by now. Tsuneo: This is just plain ridiculous. > even more strike the fighter > pod. Finally the pod disintegrates under the barrage of lasers and armor > piercing rounds Rick: AP round coming of course from his _left_ arm GU-11. Rebecca: Smile and nod. > leaping from the veritech. All: Boingy boingy boingy! > Rick looked over his left shoulder Dan: Um... mirrors? Tsuneo: Don't think about it. > to see the last ship circling around > to get a shot. Ignoring the screaming of his muscles, Tsuneo: [Muscles] Get us out of this fanfic! > Rick continues to pull on the stick. Rebecca & Dan: Woo... Rebecca: Should we be seeing this? Dan: Is this moment _strictly_ neccessary? > There are better maneuvers to get into position, but > lately, any move that punishes Rick is the move of choice. Rebecca: I could say some things about that, but I won't. Tsuneo: One would think that staying with Lisa was punishment enough. Rick: Minmei fanboy. Tsuneo: What's so good about Lisa then? She's bossy, nosy, arrogant and flat as a board! Rick: She isn't actually, and I've got the issues of Academy Blues to prove it. Tsuneo: That's just a comic! Rick: Anyway, Minmei is immature, obnoxious, self-centered, totally ignorant of how anyone else might feel and so far up herself- Tsuneo: Lisa's the ignorant one! Like she cared about what she was... Dan: They're such children. Rebecca: I should get a holy war alarm installed. > D'Thon looks on in amazement as the veritech below him Rebecca: Is actually still going. Dan: You guys finished yet? [Rick and Tsuneo blow rasberries at each other.] > continues to pull > further around to line him up. "No micronian can withstand those g > loads for long," Dan: Try me. Rebecca: He's never seen Macross Plus. Rick: [D'Thon] No micronian can stand this fanfic for long. > he thinks. But the veritech continues to turn under him. Rick: No, I don't know what the turning circles of a fighter pod and a- Rebecca: Duct tape? Dan: Right here. Rebecca: [Cracks knuckles] Cool. Rick: Never mind. > Rick's vision continues to blur. Rebecca: [Rick] My brains are going into my feet. Tsuneo: [Muttering] Where they belong. Rick: [Ditto] Stupid Minmei fan, he'll just go after any cute piece of asian ass. Tsuneo: [Shouting] I heard that! Rick: Well, it is true! Tsuneo: Get real! Dan: [Buries face in hands] Oh, brother. > He watches as more and more of his > sight blurs until he is looking through a tunnel that continues to > close. Dan: The light at the end of the tunnel... Rebecca: -Is an oncoming train. Rick: -Has been switched off as an economy measure. > Finally the fighter comes into what's left of his vision. Rick > vaguely feels himself pull the trigger as the faces of all the dead > flash in his mind, Ben, Henry, Claudia, Kim, Sammie, Vanessa, Roy, Rick: Elvis. Rebecca: J.F.K. Dan: John Lennon. Tsuneo: Bruce Lee. Rick: A. J. Rimmer. Dan: Kenny. Rebecca: Zed. Others: Zed? Dan: [Bruce Willis] Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead. > all > those that have died while he continues to live. Each round that slams > into the Zentraedi is some measure of atonement for living. Tsuneo: And this _is_ Rick Hunter we're talking about, huh? The man who promised to continue Gloval's dream of a peaceful settlement with the Robotech Masters? Rebecca: Maybe it's some totally death-obsessed, psycho loonie who just happens to be called Rick Hunter. Tsuneo: And fly Skull One? Rebecca: Okay, maybe he's from the Mirror universe. You know, where Zentraedi are Klingons. > "Captain Hunter! Captain Hunter, I think he's dead sir." All: Naw. Dan: [McCoy] He's dead, Jim. > The sound of Lieutenant Farrell's voice snaps Rick back to the > present. Tsuneo: [Mushy] It had a pretty bow and everything. All: Aww... > In front of him a debris cloud is falling to earth. Another > look at the instrument panel shows him he's out of ammo and his > veritech is barely hanging in the air. Rick: No, one look at his instrument panel after that fight would provoke a reacion like: "Whoah! Where'd my instrument panel go?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan: No-one's landing on this runway. > Lisa grabbed Rick by his flightsuit and threw him against the wall of > his apartment. Tsuneo: Lisa? Threw Rick? Yeah. Right. Rebecca: That proves it! This _is_ the mirror universe, where Lisa biffs up Rick all the time. > "What the hell did you think you were doing up there?" Rick: [Rick] Ballet. What did you think I was doing? > she screamed at him. "It's bad enough you risk your own life needlessly, > but Lt. Farrell was up there too. Tsuneo: Was that the backup he didn't wait for? Rick: Lieutenant Farrel, the invisible wingman. > We can't afford to lose any more pilots, not now." Dan: [Rick] Not just one? Please? I am a death-obsessed psycho loonie, remember? > "Don't you think I know that?" All: No. > said Rick almost to quiet to be heard. > "That's why I sent him north when I knew there would be fighting." > Rick, you can't carry the weight of the war on your shoulders. Tsuneo: Is someone talking here? > It's over, it's time for us to rebuild," Tsuneo: -Your plane. Rick: [Lisa] Unless of course you've forgotten about the end of the last episode? Rebecca: Why not? The authour did. > pleaded Lisa. > "It's not over," Rebecca: 'Till the fat lady sings. Dan: Please let that be her tuning up outside. > said Rick. "There are still a lot of malcontents Rebecca: Ooh, a big word for a fic of this level. > running around out there. Dan: Not actually doing anything, just running around having a merry little time. Rick: We can't have anything nice like that in a fanfic like this. > Each of them eager to die a glorious death > in the name of victory. Each just as willing as Khyron." > Lisa couldn't believe the hate she heard in Rick's voice when he spoke > Khyron's name. Rick: Neither could we. > She slowly let go of his flightsuit and wrapped her arms around him. Tsuneo: Then took them back and reattached them. > "You're not responsible for saving everyone," Rick: That's International Rescue's job. [All start humming Thunderbirds theme.] > whispered Lisa into his ear. > Rick gently pushed her away. "But I am," he said looking down at the > floor. "I was laying in bed instead of covering Roy, Rick: Never mind the fact that at the time you had a cracked skull. > I abandoned Ben to save myself, Rebecca: No you didn't, you ordered him to withdraw and he wasn't fast enough. > I let Khyron get away when I had the chance to stop him. Dan: And let the city burn to the ground. > I could have saved everyone on the SDF-1 with just one shot. All: How? > I don't do my job and everyone around me dies." Tsuneo: This is terrible. I've never seen such... Ugh. > "Rick...." sighs Lisa as she reaches out to him. Tsuneo: Yup, that's Lisa. Say 'Oh Rick,' and act like a drip. Rick: Funny that describes Minmei perfectly. Tsuneo: As if! Rick: Oh yeah, I'm sorry, I forgot about her and Kyle. Tsuneo: Rubbish! Rick: And Max! Tsuneo: Bullshit! Rick: And- [Rick and Tsuneo get whacked repeatedly with cushions.] Dan: And shut up. > "Not now, I need some time alone," Rick says as he walks out the door > into the cold night air. Tsuneo: [Rick] I'm freezing! Rick: [Londo] And when I said it was cold, I did not mean 'Oh, it's a bit nippy in here, I think I'll put on another coat,' I meant 'Oh look, my arm has just snapped off and shattered on the ground!' ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan: [Flight controller] Clear for landing on runway 29. > Lisa looked into her cup of coffee Tsuneo: That's _tea leaves,_ stupid. > as Max entered her office. "Hello Max, I need your help." Rick: [Max] Better make it quick; I've got 55 self-insertion authours to interview for skull squad positions and pry off Miriya before lunch. > "Hello to you too," said Max. Tsuneo: [Max] I'm not going to ask how you knew it was me, but hello anyway. > He takes a seat across form Lisa and puts Tsuneo: That tense thing again... > his feet up on her desk and gives her a smile that could thaw a glacier. > "Anything for you." [Dan and Rebecca glance at each other.] Dan: Nah. Not even I'm that low. > "It's Rick. Tsuneo: [Max] No, it's a coffee cup. > He seems to have gone over the edge. Rick: I'd do that to avoid this fic too. Tsuneo: Just let me open the window. > He's been holding back so much, Rebecca: [Lisa] You know he hasn't been to the bathroom in six months. Others: Eew! > being so strong for so many people that he may have finally > snapped. Tsuneo: I know the feeling. Man, do I know the feeling. Dan: I'M about to snap. > He's becoming a danger to himself and those he flies with. Rick: [Lisa] The invisible wingmen have been giving me hell about it. > I'd ground him, but I think it would kill him. Tsuneo: You know you want to. > Besides, he's a hero of > the war and a lot of people look up to him for strength. How could I > take that away from them by showing that he really is human after all?" Dan: Like they hadn't noticed yet? What do they think he is? Rick: A self-insertion authour? That's not human. Tsuneo: Please never let us get one of those. > "Rick's tired," Tsuneo: [Max] -Of this fanfic. Rebecca: [Bored] Aren't we all. > said Max. "He's been fighting his whole adult life and > all he has left is you and his flying. Rick: and the future, Gloval's dream, Skull One, and his friends like Max, Miriya, Breetai... Tsuneo: All right all ready! > For a man carrying the guilt of > thousands of deaths, it's just not enough anymore." Rick: Thousands? > "I know. He even moved back into his apartment. I've lost him again, Dan: [Lisa] I couldn't find it on the map. Rick: Have you tried looking behind the couch? Things often fall down there. > this time to the past," said Lisa quietly. > Max reached across the table and placed his hand on Lisa's. "I'll talk > to him," Max said as he rose to leave. Dan: [Max] Can I have my hand back now? Rebecca: Enough with the dismembered one, already. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Meanwhile, back on the great western prairie... > Max found himself flying over the table Dan: [Max] Whee! I can fly! Rick: [Commentator] I'm here, live, at the final of the men's table vault. > in Rick's apartment before he > realized that Rick had reversed his hold on him. "Good, at least Rick > can still protect himself," thought Max. Tsuneo: Let me get this right: You go over to your friend's flat, and the first thing you do is grab him to chuck him over his table? Dan: Remind me to knock you off my christmas list. > "I'm sick and tired people slamming against my own wall Rick: All these dents, I'm going to have to have it repainted. Tsuneo: And _who's_ slamming them against the wall? > and telling me how stupid I am!" yelled Rick. Rick: [Rick] When they should _really_ be going after the authour. Tsuneo: Nice shot. > Max just smiled and lunged back across the table. Dan: Of course, he forgot to jump, so he smacked inot the table's edge. Rebecca: Ow. > Rick saw him coming > and started to side step the lunge. At the last moment Max grabbed the > edge of the table with his left hand and used it as a pivot point. Tsuneo: Supposedly while still in mid-air over the table. Yup. Uh-huh. Right. > He swung his feet around to connect squarely with Rick's chest. Rebecca: Weenieman leaps into action! Rick: [Wimpy] I don't like you. > Rick felt a rush of air leave his lungs as he staggered backwards under > the force of Max's blow. "Fine with me if Max wants to play rough." Rick: New tactics: First I'll block his feet with my ribs, and then his punches with my head. > Max had already landed lightly on his feet and was moving toward Rick. > Suddenly Rick dropped low and began a long foot sweep. Tsuneo: This is about the worst- Rick: -And most improbable- Tsuneo: -Fight scene I'v ever seen. Dan: What about Change of Character? Tsuneo: That was a video game. It deserved to die. > Max saw the move > almost the instant it began and was already leaping high over Rick's > outstretched leg. Rebecca: Those key combos are so hard to do. > That's when he saw the smile on Rick's face and > realized he may have made a serious mistake in underestimating Rick. Rick: [Darth Vader] Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side. [All make Darth Vader noises] Tsuneo: Where this fanfic came from. Rick: [Darth Vader] It is even more insidious than you could ever imagine. > In mid sweep Rick changed directions and drove his foot straight into > the stomach of the airborne Max. Dan: If I read this right, they're both champion fighters, able to exactly predict each other's moves and change their own in a split second. Rebecca: You're right... That is kinda ridiculous. Dan: Yeah. Only I can do that. Rebecca: [Sigh] > As Max tried to redirect some of the blow it occurred to him that he > might not win this fight. Tsuneo: It's occured to me that we might not win against this fanfic. > He always considered himself a better fighter > than Rick in or out of a plane, All: Why? > even though he would never say so out > loud. But now he wasn't so sure. He wasn't even sure Miriya could have > landed that kick. Rebecca: Get real. Of course she could. Only a little _lower._ [The guys cross their legs.] > Instantly Rick was on Max again. Tsuneo: Erm... I'm _really_ not sure about this scene. > Raining punch after punch Dan: [Kid] Look ma, it's raining! > against Max's quick parries. Tsuneo: This is even less realistic than a Ranma fight scene. [Dan whacks him hard with a pillow.] Dan: You take that back, boy! Rick: Oh, boy. Another drooling fanboy. Tsuneo: Come on, they're ridiculous. The way he moves his arms - no way. Dan: They're the greatest fighters ever! Rebecca: Can it you two. [To ceiling] I need to talk to you about that alarm. > Finally Max saw the opening he had been waiting for > and threw a savage kick at Rick. Dan: Kicking him would have been smarter. Tsuneo: Don't you think you're going to need that kick later? Rebecca: What happens if Rick picks it up and throws it back? > Max watched in amazement as Rick didn't > even try to block the kick. He felt several of Rick's rib shatter Tsuneo: How can several of one rib shatter? Rebecca: Through the miracles of bad grammar. Rick: Yup! He followed my instructions: Block feet with ribs. > as his > boot made solid contact against Rick's left side. > "Max, you just don't understand, do you? Tsuneo: [Rick] The authour says I've gotta do it. > Fighting is not about finesse, or speed, or even skill, [Tsuneo starts laughing insanely] Dan: No, it's about _all_ of those, you moron! Rebecca: Of course, having the bigger gun helps. > it's about doing the job as quickly and brutally as necessary. Tsuneo: Coming from the guy who wouldn't touch his missiles. Dan: It's also about considering objectives and consequences, in case you didn't figure it out! > Regardless of the personal cost. Roy understood that, Dan: Roy understood that that reasoning was wrong. _That's_ why he was so good. > Henry in his own way understood, and God knows the Zentraedi understand." Tsuneo: And look where that got them. Rick: No, the Zentradi understand that if you have a bigger ship, you can make the rules. > Rick felt his ribs shatter Tsuneo: Again? Why? Rick: Hey, it was only the one rib last time. > even as he hooked Max's leg and swept the other > out from under him. Rick felt nothing but a cold knot in his chest as he > planted his boot against Max's head twice before he even hit the ground. All: What? Rick: So... His ribs shatter, he trips Max up and some how magically moves his foot to be against Max's head almost instantly? Rebecca: Something like that. > As Max felt the impact to his head, Tsuneo: Which one? Dan: That wasn't worthy of you. > his last thoughts were of how much > Rick had changed in the last few months. All: [Shocked] Naw. > Raw talent and speed aren't > enough to beat him anymore, as long as he doesn't care how much he gets > hurt, maybe nothing can beat him. Dan: Hoh, boy. I'd love to see how anyone fares in a REAL dogfight thinking like that! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rebecca: Why, look, it's the Empress lying down. [Dan throws a cushion at her.] > Max opened his eyes to see Lisa Tsuneo: Aargh! [Covers eyes] What a fright. Rick: [Sarcastic] If was Minmei in the state he's in, he'd be dead by now. Dan: Give it up, you two, you're hopeless. > standing over him Rebecca: No. I respect Lisa's character too much to make any crack like that. Dan: I can see her panties! [Rebecca clobbers him with a cushion.] > with her arms crossed > and a stern look on her face. Miriya was kneeling beside him trying to > look concerned while not laughing. Rick: [Max] Oh sure, laugh, while I'm lying here with unkown injuries. See if I care. > "So this is earth's greatest > warrior? Maybe I married the wrong man." Dan: Hmm... [Gets dreamy look in his eyes.] > she laughed while smiling at Lisa. Rick: [Cynical] Hah. Ha ha ha. Tsuneo: Shouldn't they be busy checking if he's alright? Or calling an ambulance? Or maybe not laughing at his predicament? Rebecca: Nah, that would require common sense, which is something strangely absent from _this_ fic. > Max slowly sat up. "Where's Rick?" Rick: Right here on the couch, where I've always been. [Tsuneo groans] Rebecca: Shut up! > "He was gone when we got here," said Miriya. > "Well, we might want to go out and look for him. Dan: Their mental processes are amazing. > I think I broke a few of his ribs." Max said while trying to stand. Tsuneo: Should be easy, just follow the trail of nonsense... > Lisa gasped, "Is this how all men talk to each other? No wonder so much > of our history is littered with wars." [Stunned silence] Tsuneo: I don't care WHO she is, NO-ONE in the WORLD talks like THAT! Rick: You never did The Colour Pumpernickel in high school, did you? Rebecca: I pity anyone who gets THAT one. > Miriya put her arm around Max to help keep him from falling over. "Let's > get you over to the hospital and see if you got your thick skull > cracked," she chuckled to him. Tsuneo: [Clutches forehead] Oh no! All my Change of Character flashbacks are coming at once! Rebecca: I'm kind of glad I missed that one. > As Max and Miriya left the apartment Dan: [Mike the TV] Ladies and gentlemen, Miriya has left the building! [All cheer wildly.] > Lisa looked around at the mess > left by the fight and wondered what was happening to Rick. Tsuneo: He's starring in a crappy fanfic! Rebecca: Horse. Dead. Whip. Get the picture? Rick: [Muttered] Like you can talk. > It took her > a long time to get over the guilt of surviving Alaska Base and the loss > of the SDF-1. Tsuneo: Paging Steve Gerencser, there are some episodes of Robotech you might actually want to watch first. Dan: What do you mean? Tsuneo: Try... All of them. > But she had Rick to help her through that. Now Rick is > hurting and is pushing everyone away from him. As Lisa closed the door > she got a strange feeling that nothing good was going to happen for > Rick for a long time. Dan: [Troi] Captain, I sense a set-up. Rebecca: NEVER do that again! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rebecca: The excitement level of your average Voyager episode. [All look at Dan expectantly] Dan: What? > Rick tried to get comfortable Rebecca: No. I won't. I will resist the temptation. I will be strong. Dan: Comfortable with Minmei. [All whack Dan repeatedly with cushions, chairs, the coffee table, etc.] Voice: Okay, guys, time out. Dan: [Dazed] I'm sorry, mum. > in the cockpit of the strike valkyrie Rick: [Leaping to his feet] STRIKE - GRRRRRRRRRR - VAL - ERRRR - KY - Hrhrhrhr - RIE! Rebbeca: Get back! He's gonna blow! [Tsuneo leaps behind the couch. Rebecca dashes into the kitchen and takes cover.] Rick: THAT DOES IT! FIRST! They're called VERITECHS! NOT BLOODY VALKYRIES! Only morons like Peter WW - Rebecca: The _late_ PWW Rick: - the LATE PWW and all his little Sporrinist Purist Macross-Nazi beer buddies go around calling them that. SECOND! The STRIKE Valkyrie is NOT a Robotech design! It is a MACROSS one! Only Cretins like PWW or Ben Dunn can't figure that one out! So Mr Steve Gerencser, I suggest you start running NOW before I come round to your place and show you your own speen! Dan: [Cowering on the edge of the couch] Finished? Rick [Sits back down] Yeah. [The others resume their places] Oh, and they can't operate in the atmosphere anyway. Too much drag from the FAST packs. Dan: Rebecca, don't you EVER whinge about me again! > he had liberated. Tsuneo: Is that as in the same way you 'retire' a replicant? > As he rolled down the runway he turned off the radio so > he couldn't hear the tower demand he return. As the nose of his plane > began to rise he hit the afterburners Dan: Ow! What'd they do to you? > and the auxiliaries on the attached weapons pods. Rick: [Mutters something under his breath.] Tsuneo: I think I'm glad I didn't hear that one! > The pain in his side settled into a dull throb Tsuneo: This fanfics becoming a lot like that. It was painful at first, but now it's just dull. > as the valkyrie rose to > a nearly vertical climb and punched through mach 1. Rebecca: First the afterburners, then mach one. Boy, this guy's violent. > No matter how bad > he felt, flying always seemed to make him feel better. Dan: Has anyone here though of the effects of severe g-forces on cracked ribs? Rick: Anyone here thought of the effects of severe g-forces on soft-brained authours? > Lately it made him feel worse. Tsuneo: And us too. > Just once he'd like to fly without having to be ready to ill someone. [All start laughing] > The blue sky slowly turned black as he continued to climb. He could > look out and see the curvature of the earth, and the sparkling of the > stars. Rebecca: [Rick] Oh look, it's the Sattelite of Love. > Up here he could almost pretend all was right with the world. Danb: Until he realised he was out of fuel. Oh, the humanity! > Looking back, Tsuneo: [Rick] Yup, it's a seat! > he could clearly see the day it all changed. Roy took > him aside right after he joined the RDF and told him "From now on you > won't be flying for fun. Tsuneo: [Roy] You'll be flying for some moronic, sadistic authour, so you might as well quit now. Rebecca: Feeling dark today, aren't we, buddy? > You'll be flying for the safety and lives of > our loved ones back home." If only Roy had known how much that small > comment would haunt Rick. Dan: If that keeps popping to mind, you'd think he'd actually pay attention to it. [Pause] All: Naw. > Rick looked at his watch, Tsuneo: [Rick] Yup, it's a watch! Rick: For crying out loud, Tsuneo. Rebecca: Give it up. Dan: [Rick] Time for my next self-punishing ridiculous dogfight. > he'd been hanging here at the edge of space > for nearly three hours. Dan: [Checks watch] Funny, I thought that was how long the fanfic had been going. Rick: Nope, just this scene. Tsuneo: Thank god this one ISN'T in realtime. > Looking around, he saw that the earth had > rotated beneath him so that he was nearly half a world away from Monument > City. If only he could leave his past so easily. Dan: Why would he want to? Rick: Minmei's in it. [Tsuneo clobbers him with a cushion.] It was worth it! Damn it, it was worth it! > "Enough self pity for today. [All cheer wildly] > I can cut across the North Pole and be back on the ground in five hours." Dan: Oh look, it's Santy Claus! > Rick thought as he pointed his borrowed plane north. Tsuneo: Shall we say something about directions in orbit? Rick: Smile and nod. > "May as well check in and see if I'm being court martialed > tomorrow too." Dan: With any luck. Tsuneo: [Goon show voice] For the first crime, stealing of a Veritech for a joy ride, not guilty. For the second crime, appearing in a fanfic and taking money for it, to whit stealing, ten years hard labour. Rick: You know guys... That one ain't really that funny, considering. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tsuneo: Insert lame line gag here. [The others all groan.] > Lisa looked at the clock on the wall Tsuneo: Oh god... no, I can't do it! > when the phone rang. "Rick isn't > due back for three more hours she thought," Tsuneo: Except she said it out loud. Dan: And told eveyone she thought it. > as she reached for the phone. "Yes?" Tsuneo: Pick it up first. Rick: [Lurch] You rang? > "Admiral, this is Major Hardison. We received a distress call from New > Toronto a few minutes ago. Then we lost all contact." Rebecca: Quick! Call International Rescue! [All hum Thunderbirds theme.] > "Do we know who it is?" Rick: [Hardison] Yeah, it's a squad of rogue Robotech fans on a rampage to find and kill this Gershner guy! Dan: [Lisa] Stuff my job, I'm joining them! > "No, but best guess says it's what's left of Khyron's forces. Probably > close to fifty battle pods backed by a Theatre Recon Scout." > "Damn. New Toronto doesn't have the men to stop a force that large." > Lisa had to stifle a chuckle Tsuneo: Doesn't anyone here take life-or-death situations seriously? > when she thought about calling a force of > fifty large when they had fought battles involving millions of ships. Rick: Er, that was battle. Singular. Rebecca: Never mind the fact that she wasn't even in that one. > "Ok, send everything from New Detroit and scramble Skull Squadron from > here. They should all reach New Toronto at about the same time. Lisa > thought for a moment, "and get me Captain Hunter." Tsuneo: [Lisa] Maybe this'll finally get him killed off. Rick: Charming. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan: Rebecca's average Saturday night. [Rebecca hits him with a cushion.] > When Lisa's face appeared on the comm unit, Rick's stomach twisted into > a knot. Dan: I didn't know it was with the Boy Scouts! He could get a merit badge for that one. > The sound in her voice nearly killed him. Rick: If it was Minmei's voice, then yes. Tsuneo: [Cracks knuckles] You never learn, do you? [Whacks him with a cushion.] > "Rick, there's trouble." Tsuneo: [Lisa] There's a guy on the comms called Gershner, and he says you're not brooding enough. Rick: [Rick] Give me his location. I'll go round and deal with him immediately. [Pause] Actually, could I return to base and get some of those anti-ship nukes first? Dan: Fanboy. > The look that passed over his face was that of > a man staring straight into the eyes of death Tsuneo: Well, it _is_ Lisa. [Rick hits him with a cushion.] Dan: This is going to go on all night. > before he quickly covered > it with a calm, professional stare. She almost turned the comm unit off Dan: Why? > right then, but people were dieing again Rick: Peopel dieing again? Have we got some sort of ressurecatron going here? > and she needed him. "Rick, New > Toronto has been attacked, we think it's the remainder of Khyron's > force." Tsuneo: [Rick] Can't be, I flattened them all on a moronic guilt trip last Tuesday. > The calm look on Rick's face was slowly replaced by a look so cold that > Lisa couldn't believe this was the same man she was in love with. Rick: I can't believe this is the same character. Tsuneo: I can't believe this is the show I liked! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rcik: A scenic view of the Nullabor Plain. > Rick could feel the life drain out of him Tsuneo: So can we, so can we. [Rebecca makes bath drain noises.] > as he reached up to shut the > comm unit off. Less slowly he his combat reflexes began to tick through > a long checklist without any help from him. Rick: Let's see... Morose internal monologue: Check. Tsuneo: Hell-bent recklessness and stupidity: Check. Rebecca: Unlimited ammo syndrome: Check. Dan: God mode: Check. Rick: Fanfic's ready to go. Tsuneo: Darn. > Weapons were armed, altitude and location checked, and on it went. From > nearly eighty thousand feet Rick pointed his valkyrie toward New > Toronto and pushed the throttle to the wall. Rick: First the afterburners, then mach 1, then the poor throttle! Tsuneo: Rebecca, don't you ever criticise me again. > He was nearly five hundred > miles away, if he didn't shake the plane apart, Tsuneo: The fic would drag on for an awful lot longer. > he's be Dan: He's be? Tsuneo: [Female announcer] Good luck and you'll be save the cyber space! Others: WHAT? Tsuneo: It just felt right at the time. Rebecca: No-one, but no-one is going to get THAT one! > in New Toronto in less than ten minutes. Rebecca: Whoah, whoah, hang on a minute here. [The fanfic pauses.] Okay. New Toronto is five hundred miles away. That's eight hundred kilometers. And he's going to get there in ten minutes? That's _eighty_ kilometers a minute, or fourty-eight HUNDRED KPH. Or, about Mach 4.5. Dan: That's just plain ridiculous. Rick: Only the morons in the RPG accredit it with that kind of speed, and even then that's only in space. Tsuneo: Not to mention what the speed's going to do to his ribs. Voice: Finished yet? [The fanfic restarts.] > "Come on!" Rick thought as he rocketed through the sky. "How many > people have died already?" [Tsuneo raises his hand.] Rick: Besides you! > He raised the heat shield from the canopy to > see the bright orange glow along the leading edge of his valkyrie's > wings, and the rising column of smoke from New Toronto. Tsuneo: What's the bets he's still got the boosters? Rick: We can't bet if we all agree. > Finally he started picking up blips on his radar. Dan: [Kryten] At first we thought it was an alien warfleet, but it turned out just to be one of Mr. Lister's old sneezes that had congealed on the screen. Others: Eugh! > At this speed he'd be all over Dan: The landscape, very quickly. > them in seconds. "There you are." Rick thought as he > picked out the recon unit. "The fleas can wait." Tsuneo: Now what we need here is a really big can of Raid. > The scout picked up Rick Tsuneo: By the neck. Rebecca: Despite this crappy fanfic, and the effect it's had on my brain, I still respect the show too much to make a comment on that one. Dan: [Kid] He followed me home, can I keep him? > as he fired everything he had at it. At the > speed Tsuneo: He'd smash into it in a massive fireball. The end. > he was travelling there was no way to mount any type of defense. > Twelve Stiletto missiles slammed into the ship along with dozens of > laser and armor piercing round strikes. Rick: Once again, we come across this little thing about missile ranges. Dan: Never mind, it's almost over. > The scout didn't explode Rebecca: Die, damn you Serena, die! Tsuneo: I'm with you, lady. Rick: I rather like that image myself. Dan: Philistines. > like > Rick hoped it would, but no force on earth was going to keep that > crippled ship in the air. Tsuneo: Wrong, actually. There's one prevalent force that can make even miracles such as that possible. Bad writing. > Rick was still travelling at nearly mach 2 when he pulled up Rebecca: SQUISH! > to bleed > speed and try to stay over the heaviest action. At five thousand feet > he jettisoned the fast pack to regain some maneuverability. Tsuneo: Which he should have done on beginning re-entry. Rick: never mind the fact that he couldn't actually take of with it to start with. > He kicked the rudder hard Dan: Alright, none of you say anything. > and pulled a hammerhead Dan: What, there's a shark in his cockpit? > that reminded him of his broken ribs. Dan: Nag, nag, nag, that's all these sharks ever do. > Rick started his dive just as the recon unit began to break up and burn > on the ground. Unfortunately the remaining battle pods suddenly had a > new target to concentrate on. Tsuneo: Yes! End it now! Dan: Don't get your hopes up. > Rick could already see bolts of energy > streaking his way as he counted nearly thirty battle pods still in > action. Not the best of odds, but he'd been through worse. Rick: Like... when? Rebecca: Even at the worst of times he still has a [deep breath] WINGMAN- Dan: Ow! Rebecca: -to back him up. Rick: Hey! The wingman's probably there! He's invisible, remember? [Get hailed with cushions.] > Rick picked his next targets and began a strafing run over the largest > concentration of pods. Tsuneo: These are the pods in the middle of the city with all the civillians running around right? Please tell me I'm wrong. Rebecca: I'd love to, but then I'd be lying. > He watched as several were reduced to slag, and > several more took hits. Good shooting, but not good enough, he was > taking damage from all sides due to the sheer number of pods shooting > at their only real target. Rick: [Rolls eyes] Here we go again. Back in the world of Ben Dunn and Kevin Simbedia. Dan: Can you lay off it for three seconds? Your repetitive whinge is even worse than Tsuneo's. > Rick lost count of the pods he destroyed, Tsuneo: [Strained] Nnng... Dan: Go on. You know you want to. Rebecca: Be strong. Rick: There's no shame in admitting it. Tsuneo: [Sigh] One... Two... Three... > and the number of systems that no longer worked on his valkyrie. Tsuneo: [Holly] ...And the string on the fuzzy dice has snapped. Dan: [Lister] What does that mean? Tsuneo: [Holly] Well, for starters you've got a more tasteful cockpit. Rick: Not like it's his plane to begin with. > "How long had he been fighting? Seconds, minutes, years?" Rebecca: Who's saying this? Tsuneo: How long have we been reading? > All he knew for sure was that he was out of > ammo and amazed the valkyrie could still walk. Rick: What, even for the nose lasers? [Collpses in hysterical giggles.] Dan: I'm sure glad I didn't get that one. > Then he saw them. A young woman ruining Tsuneo: Oh, man, look what she's doing to the property values. > for the shelter dragging a small girl behind her. Tsuneo: [Distasteful] How... cliched. Rebecca: Oh, look, it's Reeny. Rick: KILL HER! KILL HER! Dan: Are you sure we haven't got Nav here by mistake? > The Zentraedi saw them too. Rick: And I bet there's a battered teddy bear sticking out of the rubble as well. > The battle pod lowered a forward laser Rick: Autoca- [All stare at him evily] Oh, never mind. > to fire at the filthy micronians. Dan: Never mind shooting instead at the one in the mecha. > It all happened so slow that Rick wasn't even sure it was real. Dan: We know it ain't. Rick: [Fong] What you are experiencing is a temporary distortion of reality. > With no other options left to him, Tsuneo: Head lasers? No, sorry, they're out of ammo. > Rick threw his GU-11 at the pod and dove in front > of the civilians, taking the full impact of the attack himself. Then he > was falling, or was the valkyrie falling? Dan: I personally think you can tell the difference. > The ground reached up to Rick and pounded him with the force of a > mountain. Tsuneo: Revenge at last. > Barely able to breath through shattered ribs, All: We know that. > bleeding from a hundred places, Tsuneo: Technically he should be dead by now. > Rick managed to pull himself from his dead valkyrie. Time stood still. [Dead silence. Dan sneezes.] > There was the woman on the ground, dead or unconscious, Rick: Or possibly both. > her daughter sitting on skinned knees Rebecca: Ew! That's disgusting! Sitting on someone else's collection of knee skins. Tsuneo: I don't think we needed the details there. > beside her, and the battle pod that was going to kill them all. Dan: [Cartman] Sweet. > "No!" Rick heard himself scream as he climbed down from the wreckage. > Drawing his side arm he pulled the girl behind him. He fired till his > clip was empty, reloaded and fired more. Tsuneo: I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! Rebeeca: [Roxy] Geez, Grunge, this scene is like majorly Freudian don't you think? Tsuneo: Nice shot! > "Why can't you leave us > alone?" He cried. Tears of guilt, frustration and pain rolling down > his cheeks he fired again and again. Dan: What, is he turning into C-ko now? [Others shudder] > Whether it was out of surprise, or admiration, or plain confusion, Tsuneo: Or bad writing. Rick: Probably. > the > battle pod stood there for an eternity. Then, slowly, it lowered a > laser [All glare at Rick] Rick: Aaahhh.... Nuts. > to fire at the crazy human. Tsuneo: Damn, I'll burn you into BBQ chicken! > Then he heard it. Rick: [Obi-wan] It was as if a million Robotech fans cried out at once and were suddenly silenced. > The cry of a valkyrie screaming down from heaven. > He turned to cover the girls ears as two veritechs, Rick: First they're veritechs, then they're valkyries, then they're veritechs again. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! > one blue - one red, > each bearing the Jolly Roger, shredded the battle pod under a barrage of > fire that could have stopped a fleet. Dan: And who saw that one coming? [All raise their hands.] > The last thing Rick saw was the confused look of a little girl as the > world around him faded away. Rick: How nauseatingly sweetly touching. I may throw up. Dan: [Max the rabbit] That's sweet, Sam. I may weep openly. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Damn! My zipper's stuck! > He was alive. All: Try harder next time! > "There is no way you could hurt this much and be dead." Tsuneo: Man! Why beat? Take it easy. Dan: That's about the most comprehensible thing you've said all day. > Rick thought. He opened his eyes to see he was being carried on a > stretcher by two medics. When they saw his eyes open they stopped and > set him down. Rebecca: Um, why? > Max came running up and put his hand on Rick's shoulder. "You'll be > all right." Dan: [Max] You've had the shit beaten out of you by yours truly, attained orbit and re-entry with cracked ribs, got your mecha blasted to pieces around you and were probably in the way of our strafing run. But you'll be fine anyway. > "I know, I always am." Rick: Like when he was laid up in hospital? Always alright like that? > Rick said sadly. Just then a little girl put > her arm around his neck. She kissed his cheek and whispered "Thank You > " before she was rushed off. All: Aww... Dan: How sickening. I think Tsuneo's passed out. > As Rick was loaded into the waiting ambulance he whispered to no one, > "Yeah, maybe I will be all right after all." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan: And that's it! Hooray! > I'm not real happy with the ending. Tsuneo: I don't think anyone is. Rick: That's not all we're not happy with. > It's feels too abrupt. I'll let it > sit for a few weeks and think about it. That'll give it time to rest > and me a chance to see some comments. Thanks for reading. Rebecca: Thanks for the torture. > .o0 Feydakin 0o. Dan: Whatever. [Rick grabs Rebecca's left arm, and prys the gun out of the forearm. He empties the entire clip into the TV, then throws the empty gun at the smoking wreckage of it] Rebecca: [Picking herself up off the floor] Happy? Rick: Yeah... I think. [He walks over to the TV and picks up the gun] Sorry about that. Rebecca: Geez, thanks. Do you know how hard it is to find a cyber-doc around these parts? Voice: I do think you got a bit carried away there Rick. Rick: Ah, bite me Mr Great Big Head In The Sky. Voice: Charming. So what did you think of it? Dan: Hoo boy... [The others edge away from Rick] Rick: [Jumps up] What did I think of it? WHAT DID I THINK OF IT?!?!?!?! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THOUGHT OF IT! That was the biggest heap of crap you have EVER thrown at us! Ever! The characterisation was pathetic! It's like the guy had never even SEEN the show and had just picked the names out of a hat or something and gone "Well, he can be the morose, self-destructive one!". He just basically crapped all over the series and the characters for the sake of one crappy fic! Added to that he made enough errors to drive me spare! Valkyries, Strike Valkyries, atmospheric use of the FAST packs, mecha taking ludicrous amounts of damage... Here's a hint Mr Gershner: You pump 12 missiles into a Cyclops, it WILL explode. Added to that the fight scenes were done so badly it they were just plain stupid! That's what I think! Voice: [Nervous] Er... thanks. How about you, Rebecca? Rebecca: Oh no, I think Rick covered it fine. Dan: Er... I though the dogfights were ludicrous. Not only could they not take that much damage, but some of his reasoning... I mean, speed ain't important? Get real. And what was it? 'He didn't need speed or skill, he just had to not care about the damage," what kind of rubbish is that? Tsuneo: I thought the whole idea of it was just plain dumb. Rick's too much of an optimist and a nice guy to succumb to that kind of thing. Furthermore the way the other characters were acting... Moronic. Voice: Well... Okay, thanks guys. That's that for today. Dan: Fine. [He gives Rebecca a huge hug.] [Rebecca clobbers dan with her artificial arm. He picks himself up of the floor.] Dan: But... I thought you liked me? I mena, when you came in... Rebecca: Good grief, can't you recognise a joke when you see one, Dan? Dan: Not funny. Anyway, doesn't matter. Felt cool anyway. [He grins] [The screen goes black] Rebecca: [Sweetly] Oh, Dan. Come here. [Crunching noise.] Rebecca: Feel that? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Dan & Tsuneo Tateo are copyright 1995-1998 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-1998 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Jinas' world: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/index.htm RPG info, amateur fanfics, MSTing site and official Bubblegum Crossfire material. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Finally Max saw the opening he had been waiting for > and threw a savage kick at Rick. Dan: Kicking him would have been smarter. Tsuneo: Don't you think you're going to need that kick later? Rebecca: What happens if Rick picks it up and throws it back?