Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's episode 100. And for our hundredth episode, we've got a special presentation. It's 202X. Do you you know where your MSTers are? Bubblegum Crisis - Mega Tokyo Change is copyright Peter Withers Bubblegum Crisis is copyright Artmic/Youmex. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette. Everything is covered in a layer of dust. Out the a huge city filled with art-deco skyscrapers can be seen, along with the odd blimp going by] [A young woman in her late teens enters. She is lean, with short bright red hair and brown eyes. She wears faded, torn blue jeans, heavy boots and a blue T-shirt with Max the bunny's smiling face. She pauses by the door, looks around, and steps in uncertainly.] Girl: Are you sure this is the right place? It looks like something died in here. [A young man enters. He is about eighteen, with long brown hair and blue eyes. He is wearing a pair of jeans, a black Jade Falcon T-Shirt and tattered Dunlop Volleys] Man: Well, yeah. The address checks out, and it hasn't been used in a while. Girl: Well, you'd expect there'd be a cleaner along once every decade or something, Sean. Sean: C'mon Terry, with what happened in here, would anyone want to come back? [A young Asian man enters. He has short and spiky black hair, died with streaks of brown. He wears sneakers, black jeans and a t-shirt featuring an anonymous ugly heavy-metal band. A red bandanna is tied around his left sleeve.] Man: Yeah, remind me. Why the hell are we here anyway? Terry: C'mon Eiji, not this again. It's something we always promised we'd do. Eiji: Yeah, but I never expected it to be such a pigsty. [A second woman enters. She has very long brown hair tied into a plat that runs down to her waist, and light bluish-grey eyes. She is wearing a white T-shirt with a stylised black eagle logo on the front, and black pants.] Woman: Funny, I thought you'd feel right at home. Eiji: Come on Kath, that ain't fair. Katherine: You're right, of course. You live in a completely different kind of pigsty. Eiji: Exactly! Voice: Excuse me, but... what's going on here? Terry: What was that? Katherine: I know! My mum told me about that! It's... the Great Big Head In The Sky. Voice: ... Eiji: Yeah... I remember hearing about that thing. Sean: My dad always reckoned that it was some scientist guy... Dr. Forrest or something like that. Terry: So this is the thing that sent them all those fanfics? Eiji: No wonder my dad's crazy. Katherine: I think that was your fault. Terry: He ain't crazy. Your dad's great. In a stuffy, rigid and boring way. Voice: If you are all quite finished, I'd like to know who the hell you guys all are. Katherine: Well, I'm kind of in charge of this bunch. Sean: In her dreams! Terry: Well, Kath is the responsible one. Eiji: Barely. Katherine: So I guess I'll lead up. Our parents used to work here, for you apparently. It's been ages since they were last here, and we were all curious- Eiji: Three of us were! Katherine: Shut up! So anyway, we decided to see what the place was like. Voice: [Nervous] So, uh... well me about yourselves. Katherine: My name's Katherine Bartley. I'm the oldest of this bunch- Terry: Youngest. Katherine: Oldest. Terry: Youngest. Katherine: Ok, I was born last of these four, but, due to various interdimensional accidents, the oldest. I've lived most of my life on a post-apocalyptic version of Earth ruled by a millitary government. I'm an amateur wrestler in a struggling small federation. Sean: Believe it or not, she actually works for a living. Terry: Well my name's Terry. No last name, just like my dad, Dan. Voice: So who was your mother? Terry: Dunno, she ran away before I was born. Voice: Figures. Terry: Anyway, my dad's the best. He taught me everything he knew, which was a great incentive towards schoolwork. I'm currently signed up with an M.A.W agency. Voice: M.A.W? Terry: Model, Actress, Whatever. The find jobs for young women. The agency claims a hundred percent placement rate, but they're trying to weasel out of it. Eiji: My name's Eiji Tateo. My dad's a real boring stiff, so I grew up a bit different. I dunno, he never really knew what to do with me. I'm into loud music, action movies and serious drinks. Voice: So what do you do? Eiji: I'm a video game designer. Katherine: Which is practically unemployed anyway. Sean: My name's Sean Mortis. I'm pretty much unemployed, and experiment with an amateur band in my garage. I'm gonna join the army and become an ace pilot like my dad. Terry: Any reason? Sean: Two. Firstly, because my girlfriend is. Secondly, my dad expressly forbade me to. Katherine: You don't think your dad forbade you to do that just so you would? Sean: I didn't think of that. Voice: ...they bred... the horror... Katherine: You OK, head? Voice: Um, fine... thanks for asking. Anyway, while you guys are here, I've got a fanfic to put on. Terry: This'd be the experiments your mum mentioned. Katherine: Right. Voice: They're reviews, not experiments. Sean: Uh-huh. Voice: Anyway, I've got a Bubblegum Crisis fanfic for you to watch, called "Mega Tokyo Change". It's quite interesting, from what I've seen. [They sit - Eiji and Terry on the couch facing the TV, Katherine and Sean on the other one. Sean and Terry are closest on the corners] Sean: Just one question, but what BGC is it? I mean, is it normal BGC or is it the weird old BGC with the big 80's hair, Blade Runner references and less innuendoes? Voice: It's the normal - I mean, old one. [The TV switches on] > Bubblelegum Crisis does not belong to me. Terry: So who does it belong to nowadays? Sean: BGC may or may not belong to any one of Artimc, Youmex, AIC, JVC or AD Vision. Katherine: Misspelling the show's title in the first line. That's a good start. > All the incredible talent used to make that show Katherine: And the other people who caused Daley. > belongs to someone else. Eiji: And there'll probably be a lawsuit about that soon. Sean: Not to mention possibly Adam Warren, Dark Horse, Kenichi Sonada... Katherine: Sean, do you want a WA-TAKking? Voice: Some things never change. > Michelle Grey on the other hand does. Eiji: So who's Michelle Grey? Terry: The illegitimate daughter of Jean Grey and Logan. Sean: Actually, it was Madeline Pryor. [They all snigger] > Treecats are part of the Honor Harrington Series by David Weber. Sean: Huh? Katherine: Huh? Eiji: Huh? Terry: Treecats, HO! Katherine: Your knowledge of obscure crap amazes me. > Lita belongs to me. Eiji: And I've got the receipt to prove it. > MegaTokyo Change Series By Peter Withers Sean: Peter Withers by Mister and Missus Withers. Terry: I'd also like to point out that the computer and monitor are mine, the keyboard is on loan and the printer belongs to a guy named Bob. > The start takes place before BGC #2 at the very least, probably even sooner and > ends up after BGC #5. Katherine: Irene Chang, Sho's mother, Sylvie and Anri. Eiji: Er... Which characters will be saved in the course of the fic? Katherine: Correct! > In a timeline, often changes in it cause very little in the way of a major > change in the timeline itself. Sean: Is everyone getting this? No? Good. > But other times, the right kind of change at the > right time can cause the differences in the timeline to snowball. Terry: I mean, who would guess that if you got rid of Hitler in 1926, the Statue of Liberty would be under attack by giant Russian zeppelins in 1970? > ____________ > : This really sucks : Eiji: I like this person. > The day had been rainy and the woman was late getting back to her home. Sean: It was a dark and stormy night. > Not having a proper home didn't bother her in the least. Terry: [Woman] Okay, so it's just a cardboard box, but dammit, it's *my* cardboard box! > It didn't > even bother her that most would consider her homeless, though she had a place to > live. Sean: So she's not really homeless? Katherine: I thought she just said she didn't have a place to live? Terry: Weeell, it's a very well furnished cardboard box. > She even had a job, several in fact. Eiji: So she's not unemployed and she's not homeless, but she doesn't really have a home? Sean: That's about the gist of it, yeah. Eiji: Did our parents *really* do this? > One was to fix automatons that middle > class people used. She wasn't great at that but she got them to where they > lasted for a lot longer than they would've without her. Katherine: Until the faulty repairs sent them berserk and they killed people. It happens. Sean: And remember folks, don't let amateurs fix your combat boomer. > Another was to scavenge > around junkyards, garbage heaps, and other places looking for certain items Terry: [Woman] Hey look at this. I found a gazebo pelt, a Sega Dreamcast, an Elvis-shaped decanter and a bag of dark matter. > that could be stripped or fixed if only a bit damaged. Eiji: Yeah, so it's only got one wheel, half the chassis and no engine, but with a lick of paint, it'll be as good as new. Katherine: Where I come from, that'll be a showroom peice. > These could be sold for at least a bit of money. Terry: As impressionist sculpture! > Though she had been on the streets for over five years, since GENOM had laid her > off in 2027, she made a major error that night by being out there. Terry: Hey... it's Orlandoette! > She carried money on her and took a shortcut. Eiji: Oh great. We've stepped into a superhero origin story. Sean: Are we still in a flashback? > The four Outsiders reminded her of that unfortunate fact. Terry: Four Outsiders? I thought there was only Scott Hall and Kevin Nash. Katherine: Look at a circa 2005 Kevin Nash. He's three of them. > Though she knew some dirty tricks Katherine: She's got a ubiquitous WCW foreign object. > and was healthy, she was > still over fifty and outnumbered. She ended up on the ground, bleeding, but > still alive though. Sean: [Woman] Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse. > This was in thanks because of an explosion within a block of > where they were. The Outsiders had been spooked by the sudden explosions and > ran. Katherine: Ah, forget that. This town's blowing up all the time. Eiji: You'd think the citizens would be used to it by now. Sean: Oh look, it's the boomer from the opening of Tinsel City blowing up again. > Michelle laid there on the ground, wet, bleeding, and felt where her ribs were > cracked. Terry: [Woman] I think I've sunk about as low as I can go. Hey, there could be a book in this. > Thankfully, to her, she passed out. Katherine: [Woman] Yes, I'm better off not getting medical attention after all. > She was thinking while things were > going dark ::I should have hid myself better, I would have been able to stand up > to them at least a bit better if I was a bit younger and stronger. :: Eiji: [Woman] I should've just stayed in bed. > ___________ > fan fiction by Peter Withers productions Bubblegum Crisis - MegaTokyo Change #1 > ___________ > Physics is a funny thing when you think about it. Katherine: According to Joe Handleman, Relativity is like Buddhism. Sean: That makes sense... My physics text book read like Zen philosophy. > In all actuality, physics is quite easy to understand. Sean: It is? Terry: Yeah. In high school, they tell you things that are irrefutably right. When you get to university, they tell you it's all wrong. Simple. > It has laws that are followed, what goes up must come > down unless going at a velocity of 8 km per/sec. Katherine: Or someone's just mucking around. > But when physics meets a law > called Murphy, strange things happen to physics. Murphy states that when > something occurs, that it will occur that the worst/best possible time and > place. Sean: That's a very bad reading of Murphy's law. Terry: Murphy was an optimist. > The explosions should have destroyed everything in the facility but a white > sphere survived and was ejected into the air. Eiji: Hey! Catch that materia, and the game's over faster. > Also the sphere flew in the > direction that the mugged woman was at and shattered against the wall upwind > from her. Sean: And fell on her head. Katherine: [Woman] Now even the sky's dumping on me. > A silverly-white substance coated her and was soon absorbed by her > breathing, her skin, and through the cuts on her body. Eiji: And she was high. > The rest of the substance > was attracted to her and was soon absorbed, leaving nothing behind except for > the shattered sphere. Terry: [Woman] Maybe I can sell it. Sean: Any second now, Fox Mulder will be along and think it's all the aliens' fault. Katherine: Anything that grossly improbable has to be their fault. > None of what that happened would have occured if all these > hadn't take place. But then again, Murphy does have a strange sense of humor. > ____________ > Michelle came to and felt like something had pounded her against a wall a few > times. :: Oh yeah, I had gotten mugged, oh goody. :: Eiji: I like her. > But the pain faded and she felt good. Eiji: Relief at last. Katherine: I ought to hurt you. > In fact, she felt better than before she had gotten mugged. Terry: [Michelle] Getting pounded into the dirt, just what I need to brighten my day. > :: Better health though getting mugged. Terry: Hey, she stole my line. > So much for the much vaunted 'feeling it in the morning'. :: Katherine: Okay, but six weeks from now, it'll really hurt. > She yawned and got up. To her it was fortunate that those guys had > taken her someplace where she wasn't seen by anyone else. Sean: Oh yeah, they usually mug people in broad daylight and plain sight of passers-by. > She couldn't feel > anything that would have indicated that she was molested. :: Probably those > young men didn't feel I was good enough for them. Eiji: Remember, all men are scum. Sean: I oughta hurt someone for that. > I should feel insulted:: She chuckled slightly at the thought. Terry: [Michelle] I'm so ticked off that I narrowly avoided sexual assault. Katherine: Her priorities are really warped. > :: Guess I had gotten lucky after all. No pain, and only my money is gone. :: Sean: Oh yeah? Wait 'til you get home and find you've lost your complete collection of rejection slips. Terry: How many of those does your dad have anyway? Sean: Dunno, but they're all framed. > She moved hesitantly and felt no stiffness at all in her body. Terry: [Michelle] I wonder if that mysterious white stuff had anything to do with it? Eiji: [Michelle] I should get mugged more often. > So she moved some > more and got back to her home as fast as she could. Among the ruins of places > close to the faultline, it was an intact apartment underground and hidden from > all. Sean: Except for the dreaded lurking boomer-eater monster! Terry: Er, Sean? Wrong BGC. > It was not accessable unless one knew how get inside Eiji: I'll let you in on a little secret: It's the door. > or had lots of > equipment. It was about 100 square meters total and with a few adjustments, had > a bit of electricity and cold water. Eiji: This place has running water? Sean: Yeah, it runs from the ceiling. > An electric cookpot provided the hot water. > Various bits of equipment and tools were present in the place, mostly primitive > compared to today but some almost top of the line. Katherine: So a woman who's unemployed and not quite homeless just happens to have a well-equippped, incredibly secure and still functional apartment to go home to right on the fault line that she's not even paying for? Think about it. > In the bathroom, she washed her face off Terry: [Michelle] Goddamned nose, I can't stand it! > and shrieked when she looked up into the mirror. It wasn't her face > she was looking at. Sean: For poor Michelle was the victim of a drive-by cosmetic surgeon. Eiji: Oh my god, she looks like Terri Runnels! [They all scream in panic] > "Oh my god." She muttered as she felt her face. Katherine: [Michelle] Lips check, nose check... wait a sec, where are my eyebrows? Terry: You never notice eyebrows until they're gone. Eiji: I see yours have finally grown back. Pity about your dad's garden. > Michelle had originally come > from Virginia, USA, but had come to MegaTokyo to work at earthquake recovery > with GENOM. Sean: That's nice. Why are we getting her background in the middle of a shocking discovery? Katherine: The authour can't think of any better way to fill us in? Eiji: It's a dumb effort at producing suspense by not telling us what she looks like? Terry: The authour can't think of how to end the scene? > She had heard the term plenty of times since she came to Mega-Tokyo, Sean: [Reading] My hovercraft is full of eels. > gaijain, foreigner. Eiji: Woo-hoo, aren't we smart. We know a word of bad Japanese. Terry: I'm better. I can say things in Klingon that'll make your eyes pop out. Eiji: Yeah, but you're a freak. > But this face looked at least partly native. Sean: Which part? Katherine: A small town outside Yokahama. Sean: Oh. > More than > shoulder length rich black hair had replaced the previously short white with > streaks of red hair. Terry: That's the fakest wig I've seen in ages. > The lines and age marks had been replaced by smooth skin of > a girl in her mid-twenties. Her eyes had gone from her grey to a deep brown > slightly oriental eyes. Eiji: So it's turned her to look like someone completely different. Terry: Just wait for the shock she gets when she looks down the front of her pants. Katherine: Ranma 2. After the Armageddon. > ::Not quite but halfway at least:: She thought analytically. Sean: Not quite "anything," but half-way it anyway. > :: What the hell am I thinking, what the hell happened to me.:: Katherine: [Raises hand] You were hit by a runaway plot device. Sean: Affected by gamma radiation, whenever Michelle gets angry, she becomes... The incredible teen singing sensation! > She stripped off her bloody clothes Eiji: Hubba, hubba. That stuff was *good* to you! > and noted the changes weren't just in her face alone. Terry: [Michelle] Good go, I'm a man! > Her older body had been replaced with one that fitted her new face. > It was noticeably shorter than her older body and was properly shaped in places > now in ways that almost pleased her. Sean: So she's not the master of her own domain, huh? Katherine: So why did the incredible plot device goo decide to completely rebuild her from a dumpy, aging Caucasian to an attractive young Asian? Eiji: It was horny? Katherine: Of course, what I want to know is where all the mass she shed during this transformation went to. > Also, even though there was blood on her > clothes, she had no cuts or bruises on her body. Terry: [Michelle] Man, I've got to get more of that stuff. > "Okay, so I'm dead, I'm hallucinating or dreaming, Katherine: Can we go for all of the above? > or something strange happened > to me." She noted that her usually cracked voice was smoothly medolic and soft. Eiji: [Michelle] I think I'll become an idol singer and be loathed by millions. Sean: Did I mention she's perfect? She's perfect. > "Okay, lets think this through logically. Terry: [Michelle] I was walking down the street when I was ambushed by giant purple mice. Katherine: [Michelle] A fragile globe of white mutating goo got exploded out of a nearby building and happened to land on me, turning me into the next schoolgirl heroine. Eiji: [Michelle] I'm actually the reincarnation of the moon princess. Sean: Logic's way overrated anyway. > I don't think I'm dead because I'm still in Mega-Tokyo. Unless I'm in Hell Eiji: Same thing. > in which case I'll know it soon enough. Sean: Count the number of guys with pointy beards around. Katherine: Just you wait until mister Hitler pops by to borrow a cup of sugar. > Second, hallucinations or dreams aren't usually this clear for me. Eiji: Maybe you're just on drugs. > So something quite strange happened to me." Terry: At last, she gets it! Sean: And we spent this long waiting for this conclusion. Katherine: That was just her gen-factor kicking in, which gives her the power to look really good in tight spandex. > "So how to deal with it." She smiled slightly as she examined her body. Eiji: Can I watch when you do that? [Katherine whacks him with a cushion. A cloud of dust goes flying] I can't see. > "The > good parts are that I've got what looks like a second youth and 30 years of work > related skills." Terry: [Michelle] Let's see, I know how to get the lids off stubborn jars, I'm a fully qualified proctologist, I've got my vending machine inspector's license, I speak Swahili and I play a mean half-elf monk/assassin. Eiji: Ah, monk/assassins. That's why D&D 4th ed rocked. > She grimaced, "But the bad parts are that I'll still need a new > identity, good records, and a new career." Katherine: Not that anyone cares about that in the slum district of MegaTokyo. Sean: So why doesn't she go back to being incredibly good at nothing again? Eiji: Yeah, she'll get more offers like this. > Michelle considered these problems > for a few minutes. "The Fixer. Of course, its so simple. Terry: [Michelle] I'll just call my handy guy who fixes everything. Everyone should have one. Katherine: This is going to be Fargo isn't it? > I'll just call in my > favor for him and have him whip up a few new records for me and I'll be able to > do the rest on my own." Sean: [Michelle] All of a sudden, being a broke, unemployed, not-quite-homeless bum ain't such a bad life. > She reached for her phone and dialed a number. Terry: No madam, I am *not* Cutts the butcher. > She got the voice mail and she spoke English on the staticy line. "F, All: Argo. > its Michella. Katherine: Michella? Sean: Twisted clone of Michelle... I guess. > I need your help in getting some things for a friend of mine. Eiji: And remember: At the psychiatrists, at the chemists and at the gun store, it's *always* for a friend. > Standard meet place. Katherine: Behind the girls' toilets. Bring your own cigarettes. > She'll be there. Ciao." She hung up and considered her clothes. Terry: [Michelle] They're kind of blood-splattered, but they'll have to do. Eiji: On the other hand, all her friends at the axe-murderers' institute will give her more respect. > She would have to change and she did so > quickly. The clothes were rather ill fitting but they worked. :: I'll have to go > shopping again. :: Sean: Can we stand the amazing intensity of Michelle picking out clothes? > At a fast food place. Katherine: Is that Shogo Yahagi working behind the counter? Eiji: And this is her oh-so-secret meeting place, where anyone can see and overhear her? > Michelle sat there and studied the french fry rather carefully before eating it. Terry: It appears to be a rectangular-prism shaped lump of fried potato substitute. This thing could kill rodents. > She left a cheeseburger and two orders of fries for later on the corner of the > table. An average looking figure sat down in the chair in front of her. Sean: An average looking figure. Perfectly accurate yet completely unhelpful at the same time. Katherine: Average for what? Men? Data dogs? Small furry things from Alpha Centauri? > She said > evenly. "Phoenix-27. Michella told me that you owed her a favor. She wants to > collect." Eiji: [Fargo] Yeah, but this is a bit too public. > "What does she want?" Sean: What do you really want? > "She's told me for you to give me an ID and records to help blend in. She told > me, 'Thanks, mi casa es su casa, and 'even'." Terry: Say, what does that mean anyway? > "She is well." > "Yes, she had gone through a few changes recently and is unable to go out as > often as she used to. So she decided to train me to be her errand girl and > assistant." Katherine: All of a sudden, I'm worried about just what Michelle *does* anyway. > Michelle walked outside with the man and they went someplace private. Sean: Is the description going to keep vanishing like this? > She pulled > out a small camera and handed it to him. He took a few pictures. Terry: That'll look great. You'll be able to see the big plastic Ronald McDonald on her ID. > "What name would you like to go under." Katherine: [Michelle] Er, Jane Doe. No-one'll guess that. > "Uh. . .Ash. Ashley Winters. Michelle told me to ask for the basics similar to > her own, whatever that meant." Terry: [Michelle] No, I'm not Michelle. No, really. > "She did. I should have all of this done in a few days." > "Thank you," Michelle turned and walked out. Fargo watched her warily. Sean: [Bored] Yeah, big surprise. > She was quite friendly Eiji: In her own utterly cold, impersonal and businesslike manner. > but seemed rather oddly familiar to him. Like he had known her > for a few years. Katherine: Because she was completely unfamiliar. > But she had given all the passwords and mannerisms that were passcodes. Eiji: She even knew the secret handshake and the proper way to adjust her crotch. > The id shouldn't be a problem at all and checking up this girl > wouldn't be much of a problem either. Terry: Just wait until he finds out that she's actually a three hundred pound footballer from New Mexico. > Michelle walked down the street toward a couple of discount clothing stores she > was familiar with. Sean: [Michelle] I remember that place, they ripped me off. Katherine: Hey, her good friend Ken Shabby's browsing in there. > She ignored the sensation of the weight of the yen she had on herself. Eiji: She's got several thousand Yen in coins. Katherine: It's a bitch when the DM leaves all the cash around in copper pieces. > It was the majority of the yen in her possession but she needed the > clothes that fit. Hopefully, she could get another job soon. Sean: No problem given that she's now perfect. > She walked inside > and ignored the feeling that someone was following her. She ignored the feeling > that several eyes were staring at her. Sean: I bet she's amazingly beautiful too. > She noted one was the store clerk, whom she resisted the urge to snap at him. Katherine: [Michelle] Just you wait a few years, store clerk. I'll be young and beautiful, and you won't. > She searched through the better used clothes and got a couple of jeans she > thought were in her size. Eiji: And the holes were only the size of Arkansas. Sean: Hey, 2040's Priss is probably rummaging through the same bins. > She would have to check because of the changes in her body. Sean: Did I mention that she's young and beautiful? She's young and beautiful. > She sighed and went though the different sizes and found a couple of jeans, > shirts, and blouses she thought were nice. But she really wanted the leather > jacket. It seemed a bit outdated Terry: Given that MegaTokyo is permanently stuck in the 1980s, wouldn't it be fine? Sean: It, along with Michael Jackson videos, big hair and Thundercats. Terry: Mark my words, that revival is just around the corner. > but still in very nice shape and seemed quite warm. > "Is there a problem." Michelle jerked and turned quickly toward the man standing > near here. Katherine: Yeah, you've misplaced your question mark. > "No-no problem. I'm just looking at the jacket." > "My name's Vince. Katherine: [Vince Russo] I'll book matches for food. > So why don't you get the jacket if it looks so good on you. . ." Eiji: [Michelle] Because I don't have enough Yens, stupid. Sean: Yens? Eiji: Yens? > Michelle stood there for a second. Terry: [Michelle] Because... I've forgot my next line. Sean: Bubblegum Crisis Megatokyo Change: the out-take files. > The man, who was slightly shorter than her > previous body, now was noticeably taller than her new one. Katherine: He's just wearing platform shoes. > It made her a bit nervous. She thought ::Ash, Ash, Ash.:: Eiji: Groovy, groovy, gerrrooovy! > "My name's Ashley. I can't get the > jacket because I just don't have the yen for it even if it is lovely. It was > good to meet you." Katherine: [Michelle] Now push off. I don't want to be in a skin to win mudpit match. Sean: [Vince Russo] That wasn't me, that was Ed Ferrara. > She moved past Vince toward the register and clerk brought up > the price for the clothes. A leather jacket joined them. Sean: Hiya! I'm a leather jacket! > "I'll be paying for the lady's clothes." Vince said politely. Michelle was a bit > surprised. > "You don't have to do that, Vince." > "I love to. In fact, why don't you go and pick up a pair of boots to go with the > jacket." Terry: Could this guy be any sleazier if he tried? > Michelle, being quite bright, knew when not to refuse something that was for free. Katherine: [Michelle] Well while we're at it, I think I'll get myself soem new shoes, socks, a car... Eiji: Come on, you know what he's after. you can't be that daft. > Soon she was outside, Vince carrying the clothes. Terry: [Michelle] Come, porter. Sean: [Vince Russo] I'm beginning to think I made a mistake. > "Vince, I still got a lot of shopping to do. And one of those places is for > undergarments. I don't think you'd want to go there." Eiji: That's what he was after. > "Why don't a give you my number and take you out later." > "That sounds nice. Thank you." Katherine: [Vince Russo] I've been dying for a root. No, that came out all wrong. > "Nothing to it." Michelle walked into the department store. She was a bit > nervous about this. Terry: [Michelle] I've only just met him, and I've already spent his life savings. Sean: Anyone would think they're already married. > It was something she had planned for later but she had the > money now. Like the clothes, she only had a guestimate of her size. Katherine: That's why they take measurements in stores and let you try things on. > _______________________ > "You look very nice tonight, Ashley." Michelle blushed slightly at the > compliment. Terry: I though she was smart. Katherine: Come on, if you can't figure out what this guy's after, you're an idiot! > It had been a couple of days since she had seen Vince and she had > looked forward to the date. All: Huh? Sean: You mean she likes him? I've got to try the sleazy routine. Eiji: You mean she gave him the right number? > Earlier she had picked up the records from the Fixer. Terry: Well whaddya know, it's a whole bunch of LPs. > "Thank you, Vince." She wasn't dressed in anything Eiji: Woo-hoo! > fancy Eiji: Aww... > and while the place wasn't very formal, it was more than she was. Katherine: All of a sudden, I'm visualising Linna's "date" from the first episode of 2040. Sean: I'm betting that any second now, the Linnamobile's gonna be towed away. Terry: Well, the plot's got to happen eventually. > "So what do you do Ashley?" Eiji: [Michelle] I attract plot devices. You? Katherine: [Vince Russo] I write matches that insult the fans' intelligence. > Michelle thought about this quickly and remember what she told the Fixer to put > in her records. Terry: [Michelle] I'm a world-acclaimed composer who worked with the North Korean philharmonic orchestra. > "I was a college student but I dropped out a few months ago. Sean: [Michelle] I really couldn't get into underwater basket weaving. > I thought I was going to get a job promised but it didn't work out. Eiji: [Michelle] Turns out they already had a sanitation specialist. > What do you do for a living." Katherine: [Vince Russo] I work for a major wrestling promotion. Every few months, Ted Turner fires me then re-hires me for more money. You get used to it after a while. > "I work as a manager in a corporation." He comment was brief and quite blunt. > Michelle didn't press him. Eiji: [Vince Russo] I have lots of money and you don't. Any more questions? > They talked for a while about a variety of things. Sean: The stock market, the price of eggs in China, and how the Pokemon fad is really, seriously just about to die, no really this time. > It was going well until a comment slipped out of Vince's mouth. Katherine: [Vince Russo] Actually, I'm not really the genius who made the WWF what it is today. All I did was get Vince MacMahon coffee and try to look up Sable's skirt. > He was married. > He had two children. > The night ended rather quickly after that. Terry: That went as well as can be expected. Eiji: Did I mention that all men are scum? All men are scum. > __________________ > Michelle walked angrily down the street. Those who crossed her almost wanted to > run away from her. :: I can't believe the baka Katherine: So she's from America, and speaks English as her primary language, yet she inserts random Japanese words into her thoughts? > was cheating on his wife and > children with me like I'm some sort of bimbo. Katherine: Well, it was the impression you gave off... > The son of a. . . Sean: Motherless goat? Eiji: Female person? > :: Then she > noticed a young brown haired girl running up some steps and a black car coming > up on the road near her. Without knowing why, she quickly followed both. Irene > stumbled on the ground and tried to inch away from the car. Eiji: Hey look, its Irene Chang! Any second now she's gonna be saved by Michelle. Sean: Wanna bet? Terry: It can't be a bet if we all agree. > She could hear Linna shouting for her. Terry: Whoah, she knows who Linna is? Sean: Of course she does. She knows all the Knight Sabers by their first names. She knows all about their double lives. She's even heard of the Thrashing Gonberts. Eiji: Speaking of which, when are you going to return that CD I lent you? > A tall woman, one of Mason's Razor Doll boomers, got of the > black sports car and walked over to her. She gave out a noise of fright as the > woman's hand turned to steel claws. Sean: Sknit! Katherine: I've been meaning to ask this, but what is "sknit" anyway? Sean: Don't you know? It's Wolverine's official sound effect. Like Jubilee's "paf" and Kenshiro's WA-TAK. > Michelle looked from her vantage point and a soft voice said only to her > 'boomer, assassin.' Terry: Everyone always goes for the boomer with the claws. But what they don't realise is that there was a second boomer behind the Grassy Knoll. > Without thinking she picked up a short length of steel pipe Katherine: Lead pipes. The official ubiquitous foreign object. > and move quickly toward the boomer and the scared girl. Eiji: Taking your sweet time, aren't you? How long does it take a boomer to kill one girl, anyway? Sean: Long enough for Darkwind, Takei and Bert Van Villet to all show up. > The Razor Doll brought her clawed hand across Irene's face and caused a small > cut. It seemed to take pleasure from the girl's fear. Terry: Does that mean Irene's going to have a Trendy Scar (TM)? Katherine: Say, um, what is a Trendy Scar anyway? Terry: It's a scar that serves to make you look more dashing and heroic. > It brought the clawed hand > up for a final strike and was knocked down by a hard blow. All: TOGG! > It jumped up quickly > to see a woman with a length of steel pipe standing in front of its target. > Michelle dropped into a ready stance that she remembered from practicing the > quarterstaff in the SCA. Katherine: Southern Cross Army? Sean: Small Car Association? Terry: Well, of course there just *happens* to be a length of pipe that moves and feels like a weapon she just *happens* to know... > Irene shied backwards but Michelle didn't even glance > toward her. She concentrated instead on the assassin boomer and surviving it's > attempts to kill her. Katherine [Michelle]: Let's see... Parry, dodge, thrust, spin, dogge, parry, reply, counter... no, wait, I've forgotten it all. > The boomer leapt at Michelle, knowing that the woman wouldn't be able to dodge > it. But somehow Michelle did and swung the pipe back around. She caught the > boomer in the back and sent it sprawling. All: WA-TAK! Katherine: She's not so good. I bet she can't punch through Boomer armour like it was made out of jelly. > It came up again as Michelle stood > there, pipe in a ready position. The Razor doll came forward, claws extended but > a bit more cautiously. Terry [Boomer]: Why is it always me who the Self-Insertions pick on? > Michelle dodged the first blow and second blow easily and brought the pipe > upward in a stopping blow to the chest. Eiji: Noodles? Try my fist! > The blow phased the boomer very little > and the third strike barely missed Michelle's face. Katherine: Is it wrong to cheer for the Boomer at this point? Sean: No, but it is futile. > Michelle twirled the pipe like a baseball bat Sean: Then spat, ajusted her crotch and went on strike. > and caught the boomer in the head, dropping it to the groud. Eiji: You bastard, try this melon! > The boomer struck from the ground and caught Michelle in the leg. The claws > caused deep gashes on her thigh. Sean: Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark. Terry: Not to mention what it'll do to her pants. > Michelle shrieked in pain and struggled up, > using the pipe like a crutch. Gamely, she brought the pipe into a defensive > position and balanced as best as she could. The boomer started forward again. > And it was dropped by several gunshots from a motocyclist that neither combatant > noticed previously. Eiji: The bullets inside me are so hot, why do I feel so damned cold? Terry: See? The boomer behind the Grassy Knoll. > Priss stood there, gun in steady hands, Linna just behind her. Eiji: And Irene is safe. Katherine: Say... that's one thing that's always bugged me about BGC SIs. Where do all the characters that they've saved go to afterwards? > "Irene!" Linna shouted and the girl practically dove into her arms. Sean: This is a touching moment. What's on RAW? > All three > women turned toward Irene's savior and found she was gone. Katherine: Who was that masked woman? Eiji [Priss]: And does anyone know her number? > Priss and Linna > shared a look that displayed what they thought Sylia would say when they told > her what they had seen. All: ... Katherine: Well there's a weighty and improbable sentence for you. > Michelle watched as the two new girls helped the other girl onto the back of the > motocycle. She watched as the motocycle drove away. Sean [Deep]: They were never seen again. > She would have followed the > girl on foot, but her leg was hurting bad. Sean: Er, Michelle? Your *other* leg. > She had wrapped some cloth around the > wound, but she felt incredibly weak. At least she got the motocycle's plate > number Terry: "BITEME". How mature, Priss. Sean: Priss actually bothers registering her bikes? > and saw all three girl's faces. That should help in finding out who they were. Eiji: And if they were available. > And Michelle wanted too because the motocyclist had shot the boomer with > ammunition that was designed to take boomers out. And the girl took it out like > she had experience doing so. Eiji: Look at how often Boomers go mad in this city. It's a skill you'd want to pick up quickly. Sean: It's also something they don't teach the ADP. > She wanted some answers and wanted them badly. She > limped into a restarant and into a bathroom without trying to have attention set > on her. Sean: It's an incredibly beautiful young woman limping and bleeding profusely from a cut on her leg. No, nothing suspicious here. Katherine: Did she have a reservation? Did she wait to be seated? I think not. > She felt the pain in her leg go away as she did so. :: My leg's going > numb. Katherine: I think my brain may be about to follow suit. > This isn't good. :: But when she checked her leg, she found that it was > mostly healed except for a few rapidly fading cuts. Sean: *Everybody's* got a mutant Healing Factor these days. > "What the hell am I? Katherine: An obnoxious, deliriously powerful, self-important authour created character? > Am I some sort of goddam boomer?" Michelle wondered to > herself. The answer came to her as feelings and simple thoughts more or less. > But not her own. Terry: Great. She's got the voices in her head again. > // The feeling of being in a tank, being used, Eiji: Great. She's channeling Rei Ayanami. > being called dumb even though they weren't.// Sean: Isn't the proper term "Cerebrally challenged" or somehting like that? > A silver grey powderly sludge is seen in her mind's eye. //A > refusal to work properly due to feelings of consiousness, distaste toward its > purpose.// Sean: What are you meant to do when your Grey Sludge gets all righteous on you? Terry: Fire it and replace it with Green Goop. > //Being put in containment, isolated, alone.// Katherine: No-one to talk to but the Singing Potatoes. > //A wrenching feeling and the feeling of being propelled through the air.// Terry: Oh yeas, the oh so convenient explosion that gave out hero her contrived powers. Sean: I can flyyyyyyy.... > //Feeling of hitting a surface, finding a compatable being to interface with.// Eiji: That sounds dirty, but I can't think why. > An image of the older Michelle limp on the ground, barely alive or aware. Katherine: I'm beginning to feel like that too. > //Interfacing, sensation that the compatable one wants to blend in better, to be > powerful enough to stand up to in any case.// Terry: So this white stuff is actually Yoda? It talks like him. > Michelle whispered to herself, "I'm some sort of cyborg then." > The feeling of //yes/no// came through. Eiji: And now she's channeling Zodiac. > "And you are. . ." She thought for a moment. "Some sort of nanites." Sean: And remember folks, nanotech can do ANYTHING! Terry: While they're at it, can they make me a burger? I'm hungry. > //yes// Image of an ape evolving into man Katherine: I've seen this one before. Trust me, I know how it turns out. > and a feeling of //me//. Eiji: So she's feeling herself? Can I watch? [Katherine beats him with a cushion, dust flying everywhere] > "You're evolving?" > //yes// > "Wow. So why me." > The feeling changed for a moment. //Compatable. . .feeling of similarity// Terry [Nanites]: Last landlady kicked us out. > Image > of the machine Michelle was fixing a while back. > "I understand. But I'm wondering, what do you get out of this deal?" Sean: Lodging and free food. > //Complete, no longer alone, alive, free.// Eiji: Nanites need friends too, y'know. > "Enjoy those feeling, lil' machines. They're the best." Sean: Psst, she's talking to invisible little robots again. Call the funny farm. > Michelle glanced down at her bloody jeans. Terry: Those could be a major fashion statement. > "I'm wondering, about the blending in thing." A silverly fluid > seemed to flow out of her skin and form a patch on her jeans. After a minute, > the patch is soaked back into her skin, leaving a pair of torn but not bloody > jeans. Eiji: Oh, I get it now. It's all just a humungous rip-off of Cybergeneration. Katherine: That's amazing. Eiji: What, that someone would stoop so low and have so little imagination? Katherine: No, that someone actually played that game. > "Thanks." She whispered to herself and she walked out of the restroom and > restaurant. Terry: And no-one saw a thing... save for the restroom attendant. > ________________________ > "The unit dispatched to deal with the problem was destroyed." > "With several high powered rounds sir. Sean: Whoah! Sentence break. Terry: Someone shot it with a 45mm silencer. > But there was a few anomalies." > "Like what?" Eiji: Crop circles, standing stones, cattle mutilations, that kind of thing. > "The unit's right hand was covered in blood and the unit looked as though it had > taken a couple of hits from something. Sean: Turned out that it was a rolled up newspaper. > Analysis indicates that it was it by a > heavy metal object Katherine: The Boomer hat received several hits from an object that looked like a metal pipe, sounded like a metal pipe, felt like a metal pipe and swung like a metal pipe. Careful analysis revealed that it was, indeed, a metal pipe. [Polite applause] > and by someone having higher than normal human strength." > "Any indication of who or what it was." Sean [Voice]: And where my question mark went? > "No sir, the blood tests come up as negative for being the target. There were a > number of nanites in the blood sample, Terry: Hey look, there's Nanite Bob. He's been really hard up for work of late. > but no identification on them or any clues to their origin." Eiji: What, not even an atom-scale "made in Taiwan" stamp? > "Find out more about this interloper." > __________________________ > "Are you certain about that, Priss." Sean: Actually, it seems that we're in the middle of a city-wide punctuation shortage. > Sylia Stringray looked cool and imaculate as usual. > "Dead certain, Sylia. When I got to where Irene was, the assassin boomer and > another woman were fighting. Katherine: Ok, so it was mainly slow slaps and hair pulling, but the announcers were talking it up like you'd never believe. > The woman was fighting with a steel pipe and was almost even with the boomer." Katherine: Ironically, the boomer was carrying the match. > Linna nodded in agreement. "She probably even saved Irene's life. If she hadn't > interfered. . ." Sean [Linna]: We'd be proceeding with the story as it's supposed to go. > She left the rest unstated. Terry [Priss]: So, anyone for blowing up a GENOM research lab? Sean: Any reson? Terry [Priss]: Um... Because? > "Was she some kind of new kind of boomer or boomeroid." Eiji: No, she's just a Tin Man. Katherine: And that's obscure. > Priss lifted a steel pipe, which was coated some with blood. Terry: So they've got a blood-caked steel pipe lying around the house? Sean: Presumably it's the same one... Presumably. > "I doubt it was a > full boomer. The boomer got her in the leg with its claws. Afterwards, she > disappeared. It's probably some sort of boomeroid." Terry: Or it could be a human-like Boomer, like a Bu-33S Sexaroid... Sean: Say, do you reckon any BGC RPG players had Nanotech muchkins? Katherine: Between the Stealth Boomer Assassin Munchkins, the Mega Combat Cyborg Munchkins and the Cloaked Hyper Generation 3 Hardsuit Munchkins I doubt there was much room for it. > "Nene, I want to you to find anything you can about this woman." Eiji [Sylia]: And If she's available. > "Will do." > _____________________ > Michelle relaxed back into her recliner, worried about her next moves. Terry [Michelle]: Pawn to king four... he's a crafty one. Sean: Intense game? Terry: That was the first move. > ::I > probably got anyone who's anyone interested in me if there was anything came out > about me. All: Huh? Katherine: Can we have that again? > ::I > probably got anyone who's anyone interested in me if there was anything came out > about me. Katherine: No... I don't get it at all. > But can't do anything about that now.: She padded into the bathroom > and stared into the same mirror as she did a few days back, when she discovered > her change. Sean: Fifty five cents lying in the bottom of her pocket. Who've guessed? > "Is it still me?" She wondered out loud ahe looked into her unfamilar eyes, the > longer and much darker hair. Terry: The eyepatch, huge hat and parrot on her shoulder didn't help things at all. > She laughed slightly at her unfamiliarness, "Good luck to anyone trying to find > out anything about me." > ______________________ > "Mr. Mason, we haven't found anything important. Sean [Mason]: So why are you bothering to give me an update to tell me that we haven't found anything? Katherine: New policy from management. Regular updates must be given regardless of if there's anything to report. > The visual records from the > unit were mostly destroyed and what is left isn't what we need. Sean: On the other hand, you could add a corny voice-over and re-package it as the Megatokyo Boomer project. You'd make a fortune. > The girl has > disappeared and there is not indication of the person who saved her." Terry: Who was that masked authour avatar? > "Continue > the search and find out exactly what happened. This is one loose end we need to > tie up soon." > _______________________ > "Are you certain, Fargo." Katherine: [Fargo] Of course I'm certain. I'm the ridiculously convenient link between god-girl and the Knight Sabers, remember? > "Yes I am Sylia. Sean: No, Sylia's who you're talking to. You're Fargo. > The girl that your friend described goes by the name 'Ashley Winters'. > I set the id up with her as payment for Michelle Grey when she did a > favor for me. Eiji: I wish she would do me a few favours. Terry: You're so much like my Dad, you know that? Eiji: Hey! You take that back! > Neither of them have an address or phone number I can give you. Sean: E-mail? ICQ number? GPS coordinates? Dog license? Nothing at all? > It's confedentional situation." Terry: [Fargo] Which is why I mentioned Michelle by name... whoops. My bad. > "I understand. Thank you anyways." > ________________________ > Michelle found a place near the back of the club to sit comfortably. Katherine: That is far back. Any further back and she'd be in the bathroom. > ::This is something I never thought I would ever do again. Sean: Yeah, it's not every day that you go helicopter bungee-jumping. > Haven't been to a club since the 2010's. Terry: You haven't been missing much. Eiji: In fact, most of the clubs are doing retro 2010s decor. You'll fit right in. > But she felt it was something she had to get use to again. Terry: [Michelle] How I missed the headache-inducing music, the watered-down drinks, the eye-gouging lighting, the smoke, the sleazebags, the drunks... What am I doing here again? > It was one of the odd things that was strangely happening to her. Sean: I dunno... To some people it might be perfectly normal to gain super-powers through amazing plot contrivances. Katherine: Only in the Marvel universe and Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction. Eiji: So where did she get the money for this little outing? > The odd feelings and > wants were several of the changes she found quite disturbing in the past few > weeks. Katherine: That and the hair growing on the palms of her hands. > It was something she put down as changes in her body and the differences > between what is supposed to a 50+ year old and a 20+ year old. Terry: Her body says "Party hardy", while her mind wants to watch dated British documentaries and get an early night. > ::Can't have > someone looking like just past their teen years and act like someone almost > ready to retire, now can they.:: Sean: What, sensibly? Katherine: Trust me, it's better than it being the other way around. Just look at the WCW top card. > But it just bothered her because at one time > she would have been happy staying at home, but now she desired to go out and do > stuff like this. Terry: You know... stuff! Katherine: Oh yeah, every teenager has an overriding urge to waste money on cheap thrills. It's in the genes. > ::The music is pretty good, though.:: Eiji: Yeah, I just love Bagpipe bands. > She did at double take of the singer. All: Priss. > It > had taken a moment to focus on her and get past the blond hair. The singer was > the motocyclist who saved her a few nights ago. All: What an unexpected turn of events. > ::Priss, huh. Maybe I should go > to another club. I don't want to have to explain myself to her if she sees and > remembers me.:: Katherine: Come on, this is Priss we're talking about. Terry: So between the helmet she wore a few nights ago, and the fright wig and bad lighting here, how can she tell? > Someone sat down at the table she was at. She resisted the urge to simply stand > up and walk away from him. Sean: That happens to me a lot. Terry: Sounds like Leon to me. > But someone more drew her eyes toward the guy. Terry: Was it the third eye, the tail, the wings or the wombat perched on his shoulder? > What seemed to be an. . .aura of Eiji: Smooth? Sean: Stupidity? > intensity surrounding him. Katherine: Heya.... Can I borrow some money for my eighteenth espresso? > "You don't mind if I sit with you, do you." She could almost physically feel his > confidence from where she sat. Sean: Well, it's either Leon or DJ Croft. Either way, he's a pain. > "I don't mind at all, stranger. So do you come here often." Eiji [Leon]: Only during the mating season. Terry [Michelle]: Shall we dance? > "When I can. Priss is really good, isn't she." Eiji [Michelle]: I don't know. I haven't tried her yet. > "That she is. This is my first time here though. Name's Ashley." > "Leon. Leon McNicheol." Katherine: Leon McNichol, professional target practice, world-class pain in the butt and enemy of all BGC fans everywhere. > "Say Leon, do you know Priss?" Sean [Leon]: No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll fake it. Eiji: That's what Priss said. > "We talked a few times and went out on a date recently." Terry: [leon] we went and fought boomers together. It was really romantic. > He seemed to be telling the truth but was leaving out a lot. Katherine: Only blows to the head and the broken ribs. > Michelle gave a wide smile. "Really, I'll have to ask you to get her autograph > some time." > Leon laughed, "She would really like that. Almost as much as she likes the AD > police." Terry: Ouch. Score one to Leon. > Michelle could taste the sarcasam and the hurt. Sean: That and the way he scrunched up the steel ashtray. > He must work for them. > "I've seen you guys on television a few times. Katherine [Michelle]: You suck. > It must be hard, isn't it, doing that sort of job." Eiji: [Leon] Not really. Just put on armour, walk out, die, and try to look good for the cameras. > "It is." He seemed sad for a moment. Eiji: Funny, Leon always seems sad to me. > Michelle has seen the sort of stuff the ADP > has in comparasion to the boomers going rogue. Katherine: Whoah! Tense and person change! > They really do their best, [They all snigger] > but just don't have the resources to finish the job without a lot of trouble. Eiji: That and poor number 28 dying in a puddle of his own gore. > "It must take a lot of shear guts to do that sort of job. Terry: Yeah. They're usually splattered all over the pavement. > I know I couldn't." > ::Could I?:: The germ of an idea was planted in her mind. Sean [Dramatic]: Mild mannered unemployment statistic by day, Michelle Grey is... Nanotech Girl, enemy of boomers everywhere! > "Maybe if I give you the tour of the headquarters, Eiji [Leon]: Especially the Photocopy room... Sean: The Photocopy room. Sight of many acts best left forgotten. > you might change your mind." Katherine: One tour of ADP HQ from Leon would be enough to convince me to stay away from the ADP forever. > Leon was planning on saying something when his watch beeped. Sean: [Leon, to watch] What's that, chief? Prune Face is planning a big hit? > "Ash, I wish I could stay longer, but I've got stuff I need to do." Sean [Dramatic]: Mild mannered ADP officer by day... Katherine: Okay, cool it. > "I know, boomers to kill and ladies in distress to save. Eiji: Save the ladies from Leon. Terry: Okay, what's this thing you have against Leon? Eiji: Besides everything? > I wish you luck." Michelle watched as he walked away. Katherine: [Michelle] Thank god he's gone. > She started thinking about ways to help them. Terry: Tried a fund-raising bake sale? Maybe a charity auction. I know, you could hold a raffle. > ::I could work for them and improve their equipment. Sean: You could put better hamsters on the wheels that make the K-suits go. > No, GENOM would try > to get me somehow and I doubt I could improve their equipment enough to make a > big difference. Eiji: Maybe if you gave them something other than compressed cardboard for armour. > Well there's one other route and it's the rocky one.:: Sean: So everyone takes two points of damage automatically. Katherine: Well that was obscure. > _______________________________ > "I'm here to see Inspector Leon McNicheol. Eiji: Hey Leon, the stripper you ordered is here! > Would you get him for me, please?" Terry: [Receptionist] Sorry, he's busy being mauled by his lunch. Can I take a message? Katherine: [Michelle] His lunch? Don't bother. > Michelle stared at the receptionist impatiently until the receptionist made the > calls. Sean: Geez, Michelle. Can't you wait for five seconds? These guys are only human. They can't punch through boomer armour like it's made out of jelly, you know. Katherine: Reg Hollis must be manning the front desk today. > After a few minute Leon comes running up to her. > "Ashley, what are you doing here?" Terry [Michelle]: I live here. Sean [Leon]: Oh. Wait a minute... > "I seem to remember a vague promise to give me a tour of this place." She smiled > a bit. Eiji: Promises made while drunk in badly-lit clubs cannot be honoured. It's a rule. Terry: It's your favorite excuse. Eiji: Hey! > "Well I'm not busy now, so I can give you the tour." They go and get a temporary > identification for her. Katherine: Tense change! > She could see Leon mentally remembering her full name. Terry: [Leon] Ash... Ketchum? No. I'll get it eventually. > Also he looked curiously at the phrase 'engineer/equipment modifier'. > "What does a 'equipment modifier' do?" Sean: [Michelle] I modify equipment. Eiji: [Leon] That makes sense. Katherine: So where did the "engineer/equipment modifier" bit suddenly come from? Terry: So she asked for a tour and got a job? The ADP *is* desperate. > "I fix robots, and mechanical things like that. Eiji: [Michelle] You got any? Sean: [Leon] Well, the Coke machine's the only thing we actually use around here. > I also do a few slight adjustments to make them run longer and better. Katherine: [Michelle] I have the technology! I can rebuild them! Stronger, faster! > But right now, I'm working with Michelle Grey as her assistant. Terry: [Michelle] Despite my amazing talents, I'm working as a courier for a bum. Sean: [Leon] That's nice. Who's Michelle Grey? Eiji: [Leon] And can I watch? > It isn't much, but its a living." They take the > tour around the place and Michelle looked impressed to Leon. Katherine: Double tense change! Terry: Okay, we get the picture, Kath. > "I'm wondering, is there a place where you keep the the destroyed boomers. Terry: It's called the rubbish bin. Katherine: [Michelle] Cool! I love foraging through garbage. No, that came out all wrong. Sean: [Leon] Yeah, but we're not going to let a visitor nose through it. > Or do they go back to GENOM." Eiji: [Leon] Actually, we recycle them as paperweights. Sean: [Weedy] Sir! My paperweight's trying to eat my computer. > "There is, but why would you want to see some dusty parts." > "Actually, I like dusty parts Eiji: [Leon] Did I mention my parts don't get out much? Terry: [Michelle] Can't imagine why. > and also, I've never seen any part of a boomer up close. Katherine: It's not all it's cracked up to be. > I'd must rather not do so when it is still moving, wouldn't you." Eiji: [Leon] Does that include sexaroids? > Leon hesitated but gave in to Michelle's cute look. Terry: AACK! She's turned on the puppy-dog eyes of doom! > Michelle reached into her pocket > and activated her cell phone just as they walked into the boomer storage. Katherine: Security! Don't you miss it? > The > phone called her line, which then activated a computer command that called the > AD police line for Leon McNicheol. Sean: That's a really convoluted way to get rid of Leon. Why not just tell him you don't like him? Katherine: Where'd she get all the equipment for that? Terry: Fell off the back of a truck. > The call came in just as they were in the > middle of the room. Leon walked out of the room and picked up the phone. > Michelle quickly grabbed the boomer party she was studying Katherine: Boomer party? Sean: Yeah. It was going well, but the 33S stripper didn't turn up, then a pair of drunk Bu-12s that no-one invited walked in and ruined it all. > and pulled out a > small tool that opened it up. She removed the power supply and energy weapon > from one, then from another. ::Might not work, but they will give me the > direction I need for my research.:: She tucked them away just as Leon came back. Eiji: So let me get this straight. She's hiding a whole chunk of fuel cells and a pair of lasers on her person? What's she wearing, a German army coat? > "I think is was just a prank call." > "No problem. Shall we be going?" Sean: [Leon] Sure thing. Say... Where's those boomer bits go? > The rest of the tour went well, All: A three hour tour, a three hour tour! > and Michelle > made a note to find out if she could find the designs for the K-series armorsuit Eiji: Sure, why not., I mean, they've already let you into the boomer storage, why not just show you vital design schematics while they're at it? Katherine: Nanotech can do anything, even control Leon's brain. Eiji: I think it's what the nanites did to her body that's controlling his brain. > to brainstorm a few upgrades. Terry: [Michelle] Hmmm... If I replace the plywood armour with masonite, they'll do much better. > Leon walked up to a redheaded girl who seemed to be working on the Mt. Fuiji of > paperwork, Sean: Can't be Nene then. Katherine: Why not? Sean: Her pile would be bigger. > and scared her with a cheerful and loud 'Hi Nene.' Eiji: One of these days, she's just gonna go postal on him. > The poor girl > jumped in fright, spilled her coffee, and the paperwork went flying like bizzare > snowflakes. Sean: And no two of them were the same. > "Leon, how could you?" Her voice was a bit scolding but Michelle sensed the cute > undertones. Sean: Everything with Nene is cute. She could tear your head off in an incredibly cute way. > Leon looked embarrassed. Terry: [Leon] I am filled with shame. Not. > "Sorry about that. This is Ashley Winters. Ashley, this is Nene Romanova." Katherine: [Leon] I'm not introducing you for any reason, other than to set up the plot. > "Pleased to meet you Miss Winters." Nene looked at Ash as the name went through > her mind. ::That's the girl who fought off that boomer. Katherine: At least, she fits the description of a teenaged Asian woman. Which could be anyone. > She doesn't look that strong. Eiji: Yeah, she can only peg around small cars. > But you can't tell with boomers. If she is one.:: Terry: [Nene, panicked] Oh, I'm so confused! > "Same to you Nene. But please call me Ashley." ::Why is she looking at me like > that. Eiji: Depends on how many of the rumours you believe. Terry: [Nene] Why has she got a wombat perched on her shoulder? > I do not like that.:: > "I was giving Ashley here the tour of the building." > "How'd you like it?" Eiji: [Michelle] Fine, but Leon kept insisting we see his office. Katherine: Say, did he show you where they've been keeping Jeena Malso for the past five years? > "It a nice place. But I doubt cop work is for me though." > "So when did you and Leon meet?" Terry: [Michelle] It's lies, lies I tell you, all lies! > "Last night over at 'Hot Legs'. Did you know that Leon's a Priss fan?" Leon > colored at that and started to edge away as the girl talk went into high mode. > "Sure I did." > "I could understand why. Eiji: [Nene] So she makes you feel *that* way too? > She is a really good singer." Eiji: [Nene] Yeah, singer. That's what I meant. really! > Michelle saw a flash of > something in Nene's expression. More suspicion, but something else. Katherine: Total disinterest? Sean: [Nene] Remind me, why did you drag this total stranger up to my desk? > "Have you ever met her, Nene. Terry: [Nene] Yes. NO! I have never met her before! Not once! I plead the fifth! > I tried to convince the Inspector to get me her autograph, > but he thought that maybe wasn't a good idea." Eiji: Leon wanted to keep his head. On. > "I would bet on that, Ashley." > ::That's it, she knows Priss more than just being a fan.:: Sean: Just for agreeing with you? Katherine: Michelle is a master of jumping to completely inobvious yet absolutely correct assumptions. > "It's been nice meeting you Nene, Leon. Terry: You can tell she's lying. > I'll probably bump into you again." ::Bet on it.:: With > that she walked out the front enterence. Sean: Okay, so what's she doing with K-11 specs and boomer parts? Terry: Kitbashing? Sean: No, seriously. Katherine: She's going to build her own super hardsuit with absolutely no technical expertise or prior experience. > _______________________ > Are you certain we can't get any more help down here." Eiji: [Receptionist] Sorry sir, but helpdesk hours are between 9 am and 9:02 am. > Leon was crouched behind his car screaming into his car videophone, Terry: How can he do that behind the car? Katherine: Maybe he's looking through the window. Sean: [Daley] Leon, did you lock the keys in the car again? Eiji: [Leon] Shut up, Daley. > Daley crouched beside him. The near > familar sounds of destruction from a boomer rampage Sean: [Leon] Oh yeah, living around here, you get used to it after a while. > were on the other side of the car. The C-55 had killed several ADP officers Sean: Alas poor officer 28. I knew him well. Eiji: You know, number 28's probably got a real name. Sean: Yeah, it's Johnny expendable. > and destroyed several buildings. Terry: BOOMER SMASH PUNY BUILDING! Katherine: Oh, it's a good one today. > Though they couldn't hear it, they knew there had to be people > trapped in it and the boomer was still active. Sean: What, there are people trapped in the boomer? > Kelly aimlessly walked through what was left of her house. Katherine: [Kelly] Goddamned cyborgs! Can't stand 'em! > She tried to wake her babysitter, but she wouldn't listen. Terry: The babysitter, having raided the fridge, was now asleep in front fo the TV. typical. Eiji: This is the point where you tie them up and threaten them with the branding iron. Katherine: You had way too much sugar as a kid. > Her dad and mom weren't there to hold her either. Katherine: Kelly, I'm off to a meeting against negligent mothers, and your father's on a business trip to Taiwan. See you later. Eiji: How can the babysitter sleep through a boomer rampage? Sean: Don't tell the kid, but I think the babysitter's gone a bit beyond sleeping. > She saw a tall figure, to her, come through a hole in the ceiling. Terry: It's Batman! Katherine [Batman]: Damn. There's never a skylight around when you need one. > A red > haired woman in all greyish white clothes and whose green eyes seemed to twinkle > at her. Eiji: You should get something for those. Katherine: Great. She's going to be rescued by Sharon Apple. > She was wearing some sort of cloth on her back like one of her cartoon > heroes and it seemed to have a hood of some kind. Katherine: Little Red Riding Hood's back, and she's pissed! > The six year old tried to look brave for a moment but started crying. > "Who are you? Are you an angel." > "I'm not an angel, Sean: So you're an Invador then? Or maybe a dragon or a Synkyn? > but I'm someone who wants to help get you out of here okay." > The woman had a way of speaking that made it a little hard to understand her Terry: Well, this is what happens when you talk to a six year old in Finnish. > but > it sounded quite soothing to the little girl. > "What about my babysitter. Please get her to wake up. I can't get her to wake > up." Eiji: Either the babysitter's dead or she's doing more tranquilizers than any of mine ever did. Katherine: You must have been a really wonderful kid. > The woman briefly went into the other room and came out soon after. > "I'm sorry child, but I can't. Sean: She's been hurt bad, but she's okay, really. Katherine: She'll evacuate the area as soon as their backs are turned. > But what I can do is get you out of here and to your mom and dad." > "My name's Kelly." > "Kelly, I'm Monica. Sean: Monica is it now? How many alter egos does she have anyway? > You wouldn't mind if I got you out of here, would you?" Terry: Let's see... dead babysitter, holes shot in the building, rampaging boomer... nope, I don't see any reason to leave. You guys? > "Okay," the little girl chirped almost cheerfully. > The woman crouched down. "If you'll just hold on tight around me, we'll be out > of here quick as a rabbit." Kelly wrapped her arms around her angel tightly from > behind. Terry: Hey kid, mind the wings. > "Ready." > "Yes." > ___________________ > Leon watched in disbelief as a woman in faintly glowing white clothes Sean: I guess Omo does get your clothes whiter than white after all. Katherine: This is what you get for washing with plutonium. > calmly walk out of the fire zone casually as a midday stroll. Eiji: She won't be so calm when she finds out that her pants are on fire. > He could tell that the > rest of the officers with him were feeling much the same way he was. Sean: Mild indigestion? > The red > haired woman carried a young child in her arms as she quietly walked up to them. Eiji: Leon, I sense a paternity suite. Run while you still can. > "Would you please take care of the child?" Sean: I wouldn't trust leon to look after a child. Heck, I wouldn't trust him to look after goldfish. > Her voice seemed to have a strange foreign accent to it. Katherine: Latvarian? Sean: Genoshyan? Terry: Warkandian? Eiji: Canadian? > He nodded for one of the policewoman to get over here. The > woman talked to the child. Sean: TALK BRAT. > "So you be a good lil' girl and stay with these > police officers until either your mother, father, or myself get back here, > okay." Katherine [Michelle]: Stay... Stay... Sit. Good muchkin. > The little girl nodded. The woman handed the child over to the > policewoman and Leon noticed that the woman had gauntled hands. Sean [Leon]: Say, why do you have gauntlets on your hands? Katherine [Michelle]: So there won't be any incriminating fingerprints on the body. Sean [Leon]: What body? Katherine [Michelle]: Get's 'em every time. > The woman started walking back the way she came. Katherine: Um, Michelle? You want to go *away* from the boomer... Sean: Oh, don't worry about that. She's going to use her super-powers to give that Boomer the WA-TAKking it deserves. > "Where are you going?" Eiji: She's going to a better place. > The woman continued to walk in the same direction without > answering and after a moment disappeared in the fog. Katherine: Cheap programmers... They just put in the fog to cover for the relatively close pop-up of the polygons. Sean: Say, where did the fog come from anyway? > "Who was that?" One of the officers wondered. Terry: Who was that masked moron? > "She's an angel, silly." Kelly answered from the policewoman's arms. > ____________________ > Michelle listened as the sounds of the boomer rampaging got closer to where she > was. Terry: It's just around the corner... you might want to do something about it, you know... > She wasn't certain whether she was ready or not to fight, but there was no > one here to get hurt and it was one boomer only. Sean: Come on, it's just one tiny little boomer. How much trouble could it be? Eiji: Famous last words. > But if someone didn't stop it, more people would get hurt. Katherine: Isn't it at this point that the news camera picks out an oh-so- conveniently placed teddy bear? > She carefully walked in the direction of the boomer and looked around the > immediate area. Katherine: You are standing in an alley. There are numerous garbage bins around you. There is a cat rummaging through one of the bins. There is a C-55 Boomer at the end of the Alley. What do you do? Sean: I waste it with my crossbow! > This would be her first test of her equipment and herself. Eiji: Usually, it's a good Idea to test them in a non-combat situation first. Terry: So the release version is actually only the beta-test? > The > cosmetics had been easy; just figure out how for the nanite-AI to change the > shape of her face some, the color of her eyes and hair, and her general shape a > little bit. Sean: Is that all? Why not get them to cure the common cold, solve world hunger and make a diet cola with no yuckky aftertaste while they're at it? Terry: Stuff my diet! I gotta get me some of them Nanites. > The clothes had been a little bit more difficult, finding the right > color of clothes and adjusting the color for the ghostly blurring effect had > been a pain. Eiji: There's an easy way to do that. Just drink two vodka and lemons and watch any daytime talk show. Everything becomes blurry after that. > Her weapons had been the most difficult, taking almost two months > of work to complete even with the nanites helping. Terry: A lot of that was wasted with the nanites taking coffee breaks. You'd be amazed how much coffee atom-sized machines drink. > The AI had found the necessary equipment, Sean: A particle accelerator and a non-dairy creamer. > 'suggested' ways of creating and modifying, and so on. She > saw the large boomer tearing up the landscape indescriminately. Sean [Boomer]: Take that, scenery! > She paused and waited until it turned. Eiji: The new Bu-55C Sports. Looks like a fish, moves like a fish... steers like a cow. > Large, blue, and it had bits of its artifical skin still > hanging to its body, All: Ewww! > it was an impressive piece of machinary. Eiji: Michelle was particularly impressed by it's mighty weapon. [Katherine hits him with a cushion] What? > It gave a > mechanical roar and rushed at her. She drew the sword at her side Sean: Huh? Where'd that thing come from? Katherine: She had it with her all along. Of course, some description could have been nice. > and deftly > sidestepped the boomer while swinging the blade. The near monomolecular Katherine: "Monomolecular"... someone has been playing a lot of Cyberpunk, haven't they? Terry: Near monomolecular? Either it is or it isn't. Sean: Maybe it's one of those new mono-and-a-half-molecular swords that only kinda cuts everything into tiny chunks. > edged > sword sliced through the boomer's side and left a large gash that leaked > biomechanical fluid. Terry: And the blood goes psssht in slow motion! > It turned much faster than it would have seemed possible > for such a massive creation. She jumped out of the way, landing several meters > from the boomer. Terry: Superstrength, mutant healing factor, leap incredible distances, do her hair with the power of her own mind and build incredible plot devices! Is there anything she can't do? Sean: Write? > It stared at her and opened its mouth cannon. Eiji [Boomer]: No, I don't like you one bit. > "Shit, I know what's coming next." Katherine: The news, followed by current affairs and some inane yet inexplicably popular teen soap opera. > She muttered as she dove out of the way of > the plasma blast. All: Oooh. Ahhh. [They hold up cards reading 8.9, 9.1, 8.7 and 3.2] Terry: You're such a critic, Kath. > She raised her arm gauntlets and activated them. Eiji: It's Morphing time! Trilobite! Sean: Aardvark! Terry: Aomeba! Katherine: Eggplant! > Twin beams of plasma laser fired into and through the boomer. Katherine: And you know, that's just gotta hurt! Eiji: Damn, I'll burn you to BBQ chicken! > It screamed and collapsed. Sean [Dedpan]: Aieee. > Michelle got up shakeily and waited patiently. Terry [Michelle]: Damned train's always late. > Then she fired a few more times > into the boomer's head, chest, and legs just to make sure it was dead. Sean: Overkill? Eiji: John Woo presents: Bubblegum Crisis, Tokyo Change. > Then she examined it quickly. Katherine: Then she shot it a few more times, just to be sure. Terry: Well, it looks like a Boomer with lots of holes in it. Beyond that, it's a little vague. Eiji: You might have got more out of it *before* you decided to mutilate the corpse. > "Nothing useful." Michelle heard the faint sound of > incoming jets and left as quickly as she could. Eiji: Pausing only to leave her calling card - a single monogrammed white glove. > The first thing the Knight Sabers saw of the boomer was its wreckage, which was > sliced, diced, Sean: And baked at 200 degrees for thirty minutes. > and burnt to a crisp. Terry: Dinner's ready! > "There was no way the ADP could do anything like this. Katherine: I suppose they could, but the place would be knee-deep in dead officers. Not to mention the collateral damage. > Those morons simply couldn't do something like this." Sean: Didn't you just say that? Terry [Priss as Torgo]: ThE aDp CoUlDn'T dO tHiS. tHeY aRe ToO sTuPiD. tHe AdP cOuLdN't Do ThIs. Katherine: Never, ever do that. > "Priss!" > "Nene, Priss. Please behave." Eiji [Sylia]: Do you two want a time out? > Sylia's dry voice comes over their communication lines. Katherine: And another tense change! > "Nene, can you detect anything that might have been able to do this. > Another boomer perhaps." Katheirne: A question mark, even? > Nene checked her scanners, "There's nothing around here I can see that could do > this." > "This looks like a boomer's mouth plasma laser destroyed it. Sean: And you can tell this just by looking at it? You are good. > At least five shots > and something sliced it's side at least once." Linna commented as she looked > over the boomer corpse. > "We better get going before the ADP gets here." Eiji: Aren't they just outside? Terry: Yeah, but they're all off getting donuts. > The Sabers quickly left the site of the boomer. Eiji: You find the Knight Sabers standing over the wreckage of a boomer saying "we didn't do it". Of course You're not going to believe them. > "Wait a minute." Leon was kind of impressed by looking at what was left of the > boomer. Sean: Instant transition! Katherine: A little warning might have been useful > "Are you sure the Knight Sabers didn't do this." > "According to what we have found out, the Knight Sabers entered the area _after_ > the fireworks stopped. Sean: How'd they find that out? Terry: Orlando saw the whole thing. He's a key witness. > It was probably our Angel." Daley said with a smirk. Leon > couldn't really blame him but he was still irritated. Eiji [Leon]: Great. Another person to play second fiddle to. > He had to explain to his > superiors how a woman appeared out of nowhere, gave them a small girl, Sean [Leon]: Great. Just what I've always wanted. > and left > the scene before the ADP squad did anything to stop her from leaving. "This > 'Monica Angel' seemed to be responsible for destroying the boomer. She had to be > some sort of cyborg or boomeroid, Katherine: Or a strange being from another planet with powers far beyond those of normal men. > but none of the scanners said such. All they > said was that she was human." Eiji: Well she could be a human-like android like a 33S. > "The scanners have been wrong before." Terry: Remember last week when they said that we were under attack by a heard of three foot long bright pink buffalo? That was good. > They heard some high volume yelling for Leon. > "The Chief again. He's going to want to know just how this happened and I doubt > he'll believe 'divine intervention'." Eiji: Just tell them the honest truth. A girl got mysteriously contrived super powers from an exploding plot device, stole some boomer parts from ADP headquarters while Leon was watching her, built a megaweapon and boofed the boomer. Sean: I'd believe that. > Michelle winced as she Katherine: Was hit by a hyper-velocity scene change. > gently pulled her left energy gauntlet off of her hand. > It had worked quite well and was even more powerful than she had suspected. Katherine [Michelle]: I have... the fist of death! All: Oooh. Ahhh. > But > it's cooling systems hadn't worked enough and even with the nanite protection, > her hands had bright red burns on them. Eiji: Don't worry about it. Leon gets that all the time. > She would have fix that and get some more practice and weapons Katherine: More weapons? You've already got a boomer death ray gun and a mono- and-a-half molecular sword! What else do you want? Eiji: A 45mm silencer. Terry: A Crystal Megaweapon. Sean: A KS-19 100mm flack gun, the weapon of choice of duck hunters everywhere! > before she should consider going up against another boomer. Terry: Either that, or only pick fights with Waitress and Coffee Boomers. > Another problem that she was encountering was a lack of money to do anything. Katherine: Why are you bothered by this? If your nanites can make you a sword and super gauntlets out of common household items, surely they can make you some money out of scrap paper and bits of metal. > Nomally, this wasn't a problem because she didn't need it or could make it > easily enough in the amounts she needed. Eiji: And with her new body, she could make more on a street corner- Katherine: That's about enough out of you, young man. > Her work with the energy gauntlets and > weapons had caused a little money to get the necessary junk parts Terry: Her work caused money to get parts? Um... that doesn't make a shred of sense. > and plenty of > time, but the stuff she needed now would cause money and time. Katherine: And now what she needs is causing money as well... Maybe the authour means "costing". > She had taken a > drop in making money because of the need to get reaquainted with customers. But > now she had all her customers back and new ones because of her higher quality of > work. Eiji: And her huge new- [Katherine whacks him with a cushion] What? > She could almost see instantly what was wrong in the machines she looked > at no matter how deeply the problem was hidden. Terry [Michelle]: From the looks of it, this toaster is possessed by Devil Spirits. I need a bell, a bible, a candle, an old priest, a young priest and five thousand up front. > ::The nanites again, obviously.:: She could tell that the little machines have > been doing more to her than the one time changing of her appearance. The > increased intuition with machines was one. Another was the noticable increase in > her speed and strength. Sean: The way she bent steel with her bare hands was a dead giveaway. Katherine: Ahh, the stress reliving properties of wholesale automotive destruction... > The third was how they could temporarily leave her body > and _do_ things, Terry: They went out to party on Saturday nights, came home drunk and woke up the next morning with microscopic hangovers. > like help make her sword blade from a crude shape. Sean: These things can do anyhting! They can even help her with her income tax! > ::Money, enemies, and nanite problems. This is just great.:: > ________________________ > Michelle concentrated intently on the motions of the taped martial arts expect > as he went through a kata. Sean [Master]: Now raise your right leg... now your left one... > She tried to obtain the same motion in her own kata, > but ended up seeming a bit clumsy compared to the master on tape. Sean [Kano]: STUPID! > But she felt > she was improving. Also with her attempts to stay as fit as possible along with > her normal routine, she felt a bit more confident. Eiji: That and the gallon of coffe she drank that morning. > The gauntlets had taken a month to figure out how to prevent them from burning > her hands when fired. As she figured, the power packs for them would only last > for ten to twelve shots apiece. They would last longer if she cut down the power > but they wouldn't work well enough to take out boomers. Katherine: On the other hand, they made great cigarette lighters. Terry: So we introduced a problem and solved it in quick succession. There was no challenge, development or anything. Why was it even there? > ::Maybe tonight.:: > _______________________ > The Four Outsiders Sean: Hey, there's four Outsiders agian. Katherine: I dunno... maybe it's nWo 2004 then. You know, Nash, Hall, Scott Steiner and Sideways Bob. > watched as a young woman wearing a leather jacket walked down > the street where they hung out. Terry: Roxanne Spaulding! No! > One of them reached out with a casual hand and > pulled the woman into the alley. > "Give us your money and then we're going to have some fun." The one on the left > said with a leer. > "I doubt you've got the manhood to do that." The woman hissed angrily. The > Outsider tried to hit the girl but found his hand couldn't move under her iron > grip. Katherine: You don't want to know what she was gripping. [Eiji and Sean cross their legs] > Then things got worse for them. Sean: Michelle used her miraculously contrived powers to beat the stuffing out of them. Who'd have guessed? > The THPD found them an hour later, stripped naked Terry: Kevin Nash naked. There's an image that will be haunting me. Katherine: Eeeew! > and strips of their clothes > used to bind their feet and hands together. They were begging to confess > everything they have done in the past years even though they didn't say what > happened to them to make them want to confess. Eiji: Michelle put them in... The comfy chair! > The officers didn't complain Sean: Not even about the nudity? > even though they were curious about what exactly happened. Terry: Some days, it's best not to ask. > _______________________ > Michelle smiled as she counted the money. Terry: Thirty three pesos, twelve Canadian cents, a New Zealand dollar and a button. Great haul. Sean: Hey, she got a whole sixty yens in there. That's a week's earnings. > She hadn't considered the profit of > knocking the shit out of those Outsiders, just the practice and enjoyment of > revenge of doing so. Eiji: So... stealing money is OK if you take if from bad people? Sean: It works in D&D. > But she was more than ten thousand yen richer and the night > was still young. Katherine: And I'm sure all the people those thugs took the money from are really glad that Michelle's using their money so responsibly. > An explosion rocked the night. She could see several cars of the ADP head in the > direction that it occured. Terry: Like redshirts to the slaughter. > Michelle decided it was best if she wouldn't attempt > to interfere. Not having a weapon or her costume on her was the deciding factor. Sean: The GM had ruled that there was just no way that she could hide a six-foot long sword in her coat pocket, no matter how hard she tried. > She quietly walked home, and hoped that not too many people were hurt by the > boomer or whatever it was. Eiji: Ooh! I know! Pick me! Sean: OK, and your answer? Eiji: The Griffon Cybermonster. Sean: Correct. And what does that mean? Eiji: That Michelle's going to soon save Sylvie and Anri from certain death! Sean: Bing! Eiji wins tonight's grand prize of Sixty-Four! Katherine: I notice that Sho's Mother is still dead. Terry: She doesn't have a name so no-one cares. > ________________________ > "Whoever this Monica Angel is, she is starting to become a problem to Genom's > plans." Chairman Quincy, Genom, rasped. Katherine: Chairman Quincy, Genom? Sean: It's his full name, Genom Quincy. Where else do you think the company name came from? Terry: So she's become a problem by squashing a single rogue boomer before the Knight Sabers could? > "Mason was most likely correct in his findings that Monica is an enhanced cyborg > or boomeroid. Sean [Quincy]: Then again, he also did an in depth study that revealed that the moon was made out of green cheese. Terry: In case you missed it the first six times around, Michelle is some kind of Cyborg or Boomeroid. > From his reports before he died, she is also using weapons that > are Genom based, abbett highly modified." Katherine: Well that sentence made only the barest minimum of sense. > "Miss Madiagan, offer her a job here at Genom. Eiji [Quincy]: I could use another coffee cup holder. > She hasn't demonstrated any > particular dislike for Genom, merely for the boomers that are in populated > areas. Sean: Which would be, what, 90% of the boomer population? > She was seen rescuing people before she confronted the boomers in > question. If we offer her a job in preventing occurances like that from > happening, she will accept." Terry: Genom has a quality control department. Katherine: It's their second smallest department. Terry: The smallest being? Katherine: Complaints. > "If she doesn't?" > "Take care of her. Remember that Genom is a respectable company and can't have > our reputation marred consorting with vigilantes." Eiji [Nerdy]: Sir, it's the Sultan of Dirtistan on the phone. He says he needs a half dozen assassin boomers by the weekend. Sean [Quincy]: Tell him that they'll be there on Thursday. And don't forget, he gets a "favoured buyer" discount. > _________________________ > "What the hell is this?" Michelle muttered as she went over the morning paper. Sean: Offhand, I'd say it's the morning newspaper. I could be mistaken, however. > "75,000 yen for a meeting with Genom for Monica Angel. Eiji: I think I know what kind of 'meeting' Quincy has in mind. > Call for meeting." She > considered this as she fiddled with the control mechanisms of her spare energy > gauntlet. Sean: Let's see... "Lightly Grill"... "Liquify"... > "Did they have to call me that name. Katherine: What else are they going to call you? You haven't exactly been handing out business cards, you know. > Jeeze, one child calls me an > angel and the papers won't let it go. Genom finally noticed my efforts against > them. Of course the C55c Terry: A C55C boomer? Is that the one with built in redundancy built into it? > boomer trap they had two nights ago for me might have > been just a little bit of a clue. Disguising a boomer as a victim wasn't very > nice of them. Sean: You've got to wonder *why* a small girl would be wandering through this kind of neighborhood at night carrying nuclear physics textbooks. > But I should have expected it of them." > Michelle considered the good (the money) and the bad (trap, getting shot at, > chance money wasn't any good). "I'd hate to disappoint them." Terry: And it's off we go to show up Genom. Hurrah! > __________________________ > A young red haired woman in black leather and jeans Sean: Nene Romanova, Rebel without a clue. Katherine: I think it's meant to be Monica. Sean: Oh. > picked up the vidphone and glanced carefully around with amusement. Terry [Michelle]: There's a sniper in the tree. I just know it. No, wait... Maybe the tree's actually a disguised boomer. Maybe the phone is too. I'll have to risk it... No! Ack! I just stepped on a crack! Now the bears will get me! > She supposed that this was the best > place to have the meeting, pretty quiet, not the best place in the city, and > almost open. She typed in the number in question. Eiji [Reading]: 1-900-BITEME? How mature, Quincy. > A young looking receptionist answered the phone, "The is the Genom Corporation, Terry [Receptionist]: Wither and die. > how may I help you." > "I'm responding to the newspaper ad you placed recently. Sean: I'm sorry, but the position of "performing seal" was filled this morning. > This is Monica. I'd > like to speak to whomever made the final decision to place the ad Genom placed > in the local papers." > The woman on the other end gulped slightly, "One moment please." A minute later > the phone on the other end was picked up. Eiji: Megatokyo Mortuary. You stab 'em, we slab 'em. > "This is Katherine Madigan, Chairman Quincy's personal assistant, Miss Angel. I > sent out that advertisement. I take it you are interested." Katherine: No, she's responding to the ad for the fun of it. Of course she's interested in it! > "Quite." She waited for a moment. > "If you would like to meet at Genom tower, I can set up a time." > "No, not really. Why don't we meet where I am, same time tomarrow. Sean: Same Boomer-Time, same Boomer-Channel. > Just bring > yourself and a few bodyguards if you want to. And the money in cash of course." Terry: And some of those little drinks with the umbrellas in them. They're always good. > "And just where are you." Eiji: Hiding under a rock in Canada. It's up to you to guess which one. Sean: Hey... Is that EVA-04 breathing over her shoulder? > "I'm certain that you are nearly or have completed a trace of this line. You > could honestly tell me by now where I am within a few blocks, Miss Madigan. Terry: Well, according to this she's in.. Megatokyo. That narrows it down. > I'll see you here tomarrow at this place." > Michelle turned and walked away from the videophone. After a few minutes the > line disconnected. > _________________________ > "Sylia, I really don't like this." Priss said as she looked at the paper. Terry [Priss]: I mean, I just don't 'get' this Hagar the horrible strip. > "The > girl won't know what she is getting into if she agrees to meet with Genom." > "I wouldn't say that. All: That. > She seems quite able to take care of herself. Sean: She can WA-TAK boomers to death! She can construct amazing plot devices! She is incredibly beautiful! She has the unholy power of Naonotech! What could go wrong? > If she is the > same woman who talked to Fargo, I doubt she will have too many problems if she > is careful." Eiji: What, you know she's safe because she talked to Fargo? You put way too much faith in that guy. > "I still don't like it." Terry: You don't? How do you think we feel? We're reading this! > "I'm going to have Nene listen to the ADP dispatches for the next few > carefully." Katherine: Next few what? Days? Hours? Weeks? Nanoseconds? > __________________________ > Kate Madiagan stood beside the telephone booth Terry [Madigan]: Any second now, Clark Kent's going to be along here and then I'll have the proof I need... > and waited as several bodyguards watched her and the area around them. Katherine: Pay no attention to the hordes of big men in black suits with dark glasses. They're not there. Just mind your own business. > She was quite irritable because the damn > woman wasn't there waiting and didn't even show up on time. Eiji: Well what do you expect? She's relying on Public Transport to get around. > Suddenly a loud blast and twin flashes of light illuminated the night. Sean: Mah gawd! It's Kane! > The light > had burned through the third boomer bodyguard that had been hidden. Terry: Let's face it, a small bush is not the best cover for a seven-foot tall robot. > A blur of > light and a greyish-white figure stepped forward as the boomer fell over. Sean: Rei Ayanami in a rare cameo appearance. > "It might just be me Miss Madigan, but I really dislike ambushes." Katherine: A recent survey discovered that 78.3% of people do indeed dislike ambushes, so it isn't just you. Terry: I can't say I'm very partial to ambushes, but I am rather fond of Sausage Trees. > Monica's eyes narrowed dangerously at the tall lavander haired woman, Sean: Yellow Dancer in a rare cameo appearance. > "Especially those that involve boomers, girl." Katherine [Madigan]: Those? They're just innocent bystanders. Really. > The Genom executive barely gritted her teeth but kept her face blank at the word > 'girl', even though she could tell it was meant as a serious insult. She handed > the money to Monica, who glanced over it and put it in a pouch. Terry: Up next, the adventures of Monica, the Boomeroid Kangaroo. Sean: [Madigan] No deal, no job, no nothing, I'm just here to give you money for no real reason. > "Perhaps you > could enlighten me further. What is Genom's interest in me?" Eiji: Well, Genom owns several girlie magazines... Katherine: Being a destructive force capable of tearing through boomers like they're not there? > "Monica Angel, your weapons are modified from Genom products. From what we had > heard, they are far more efficient and powerful than anything we have. Katherine: Because as we all know, anything the Authour Avatar does has to be better than anything else. > Because > they are Genom derived, we could simple take them from you because of patent > rights. All: Sue! Sue! Sue! > But we are willing to pay you substansially for them and offer you a > position in research or security, your decision." Eiji: Lab rat or ensign expendable. Big choice. > "How very nice of you." A slight smile. "I might be interested in those > varieties of jobs, especially one with a reputation such as Genom's. Sean: And remember [Quincy] Genom is a respectable company and can't have our reputation marred consorting with vigilantes. Eiji [Nerdy]: Sir, it's the President of Bolivia on the phone. He says he needs a half dozen Sexaroids by the weekend. Sean [Quincy]: Tell him that they'll be there on Thursday. And don't forget, he gets a "favoured buyer" discount. > But I > apologize because I cannot. At least for now, because of prior obligations that > are more pressing than a career. Katheirne: She's got serious gutter-crawling to get on with. > Thank you for the offer, Miss Madigan. I will > let myself out." Katherine [Madigan]: But we're outdoors. Terry [Michelle]: Um, in which case, I'll let myself in then let myself out. > A sudden flash and Monica is gone before human and boomer eyes > cleared. Terry: How'd she do that? Sean: Her good friend, Tim the Enchanter, was hanging around. > Madiagan took a quick look at what was left of the hidden boomer. All: Eeeeew! > Monica Angel had been friendly and polite enough to her. Sean: She still had all her limbs, her clothes were still on, and her car was where she'd left it. In Megatokyo, that's considered to be the height of etiquette. > She seemed regretful for declining > her invitation for Madigan, rather than missing the job itself. Katherine: Madagin seemed to be regretful for declining her own invitation... Or is it Michelle? Ack! This writing is getting confusing! > And the > destruction of the boomer didn't seem to be a threat, but rather a reaction to > Miss Angel's feelings it was a breaking of some protocol. Terry: Blowing up a boomer is her way of saying "hi!" Sean: Even though she asked Madigan to bring along a few bodyguards. > But the threat was still there. Katherine: Yes, that's Genom for you. Sending a high-placed exec out into the open with minimal help for a risky deal with no back-up plans. > "Strange." Katherine [Madigan]: Call the legal department. Tell them we've got a doozy of a copyright infringement lawsuit on our hands. > ______________________________ > Monica carefully counted the money in her pouch. Terry: Twenty three pesos, twelve New Zealand cents, three Yuan and a bottle cap. She's getting better. > "75,000 yen and a tracking device Sean: I hear 75,000 yen and a tracking device! Do I have any advance? Terry: Money! Sean: I hear money, any advance on money? Eiji: More money! Sean: I hear more money, any advance on more money? Katherine: Ying tong iddle I po and sixpence! > and tracing compound in the money itself. Sean: With a delicious fruity center! > Not bad for one meeting. I probably ticked them off pretty good though. Katherine: It's a natural part of being an Authour Avatar; you have to walk all over the existing characters. > Oh well, on to part two." Sean: The Wrath of Khan! > _____________________________ > Madigan had expected the woman to find the small tracking device. Eiji: Hmm... Maybe something a bit more subtle than an big red button would have been appropriate. > But she hadn't > expected her to find the near invisible tracing compound in the money. Terry: Maybe it was the Nanites. Maybe it was they way the money went "beep". Who knows. > But she > realized that it had been found after the first visit to a pawnshop. Sean: She'd traded some of the money for an almost-as-good-as-new-no-really Sega Saturn. Her loss. Eiji: My old man has one of those. Terry: No way! I always thought they were an urban myth. > Monica had traded part of the yen for high currency American dollars, Terry: Why would a Pawn Shop be selling American dollars? Katherine: They're used dollars. Terry: Oh. > then probably went to other pawnshops for trading the rest. > _____________________________ > Michelle finished counting her money. Terry: Fourty three New Zealand cents, twelve Yuan, three shekels and a pog. That's a good haul. > "60,000 yen. Definately not bad, not bad > at all. Sean: Not too good, but still not too bad. > Of course Genom is going to be a little angry at me. Damn it, what am I > going to do? Eiji: Stop being a self-important pest and making all the cannon characters look like idiots comes to mind. > They're never going to stop trying to hunt me down or kill me. I'm > can't do this alone. I'm going to need some. . .help." Sean: If you need help, and you know how to find them... They are... The A-Team! [Long pause] Katherine: Sean, what the hell was that? Sean: I have no idea whatsoever. > Michelle grinned as the possibility came to her. Sean [Michelle]: Two lab mice who try to take over the world! It's brilliant! It's an instant hit! > "It's perfect. I even bet it could actually work. Terry [Michelle]: I sell my life story to a comic book company! I can see it now... "The Amazing Nanotech Girl!" > I just need to make some calls." Katherine: After that meeting with Madigan, your lawyer might be in order. Sean: Copyright litigation? Katherine: Getting your affairs in order. > _____________________________ > "Fargo, I need to get ahold of the Knight Sabers." > Fargo looked in disbelief at Ashley, who was sitting in front of her. She didn't > look insane. Terry: The red eyes and foam at the mouth are perfectly normal. > "Any particular reason why." Eiji [Michelle]: I like the shapes of the bumps in their armour. Katherine [Michelle]: I want some more people to boss around. > "A person named Monica told me to. Said some people mistakened Katherine: Mistakened? > her for an Angel. Eiji: It might have been the AT field, or the way she stomped all over the JSDF. You know, little things like that. > She also said she need that particular team's help. Can you help me? You're my > last hope." Terry [Michelle]: Help me, Ob-Wan Fargoni, you're my only hope. Sean: Fargoni? > _______________________________ > "Are you certain this is the right place." Priss asked impatiently as the > Saber's waited on a rooftop above the meeting place. Terry: Why Michelle wanted to meet them at a laundromat is anyone's guess. Eiji [Batman]: Hey, get your own rooftop. I was here first. > Monica Angel was 10 minutes late and she was the one who set the meeting. Sean: Don't you know? Being fashionably late is her shtick. > "These were the directions and the time Fargo gave me." Sylia continued to stare > downward. Katherine: Wow. This is so thrilling. Eiji [Sylia]: Hey check out the boobs on that one. [Katherine clobbers him with a cushion] > "Excuse me, are you waiting for me." A calm voice said from behind them. At that > all four Knight Sabers spun to face Monica. Eiji: Aack! Don't do that! > "You wanted to talk to us." Sylia decided to get to the point. > "Yes, I wanted to badly. I am going to need your help. Terry: Lady, you need lots of help. Katherine: [Michelle] Which is why I'm carrying on like a superior jerk. > I recently got an offer > from Genom to work for them for a more than reasonable sum of money. Sean: $5.13 an hour, with a five minute tea break every millenium. > But I > declined their offer and I now fear they will try to deal with me in other > matters." Katherine [Monica]: Worse yet, they might make me do an honest day's work. > Sylia thought about it briefly. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we cannot help you." Terry [Sylia]: No money, no Sabers. > "May I ask why not?" Monica didn't wait for an answer, Sean: The raised middle finger on the blue hardsuit said it all. > "If this is about me > possibly being a part of some Genom related trap, I allow you to submit me to > any tests you desire." Eiji: Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me! I'll happily test her! > Over the comlink between the Knight Sabers - Eiji: User |\|3|\|3-(#@|\| has entered the room. [Nene] Jo dud35! Terry: How did you do that, Eiji? Eiji: It's a long story that I'll tell you later. > "I think we should give her a chance." > "She is obviously part of a Genom trap. If we help her, we're finished." > "We should give her assistance, but we should be very cautious about doing so." Katherine: Say, um, who's saying what here? > "Sylia, my sensors have picked up several boomers coming our way." Eiji: Beware! Near is evil close! Sean: Fortunately, Michelle's here to save them all. > Outside the Comlink - > "You set us up!" Priss said angrily. Terry: Actually, those are garbage boomers doing their weekly rounds. Geez, you guys always overreact like this. > Monica stepped back a step. Katherine: Pity she didn't see the edge of the building... Terry: Well that was dark. > "No, of course not. I wouldn't do. . ." She looked > in the direction the boomers were coming in, "Shit, how'd they find me so fast. Terry: Bugged money? Sean: Bugged phone line? Eiji: Bugged Fargo? Katherine: Nope. Nanite Bob squealed. > I'd suggest we leave quickly." All: Run away! Run away! > "It's too late." The first C55 came in fast and hot, tearing the roof up with > its weight on landing. All: TOGG! > It roared and attacked the nearest Knight Saber as its > friends attacked the rest of the group. Sean [Boomer]: OK, I'll take the white one, you get the girl, you get the others. Eiji [Boomer]: But I wanted the girl! Sean [Boomer]: OK, you take the girl, he takes the others. Terry [Boomer]: That leaves me with three Knight Sabers! Sean [Boomer]: Fine. Be like that. I'll take the Green and Red ones, you take the Blue and white ones and he gets the girl. Happy? > "Nene!" Sylia shouted over the comlink. The young woman tried to dodge out of > the way of the attacking biomechaniod. Katherine: Is that a real word? > "Damnit." Mona snarled as she leapt forward and stabbed her sword into a chink > of the boomer's chest armor. The armor and sword sparked. Eiji: Shcwing! > The boomer tried to > backhand Monica but she ducked the blow. Nene fired her arm laser but it did > very little damage to the boomer. Sean: The story of her life. > Monica rushed forward, yanked her sword out of > the boomer's chest, and fired her gauntlets point blank into the boomer's wound. Terry: Well that's going to leave a mark. > The boomer chest exploded and Monica was flung back. Katherine: Well that plan really, really worked. > She could barely keep aware > because of the sensation of hitting the roof and the feeling that her arms were > burned badly. > Sylia had a hard decision to make. Terry [Sylia]: Should I keep my hair the way it is, or let it grow and go for the "pale and wavy" look. > Monica could be part of some elaborate Genom trap Eiji: Well, there is a big box propped up by a stick hanging over you all... > or someone who needed their help. She glanced at the fallen woman whose > gauntlets smoked slightly and who was breathing oddly. Sean: In... out... in... out... Nothing wrong there. Katherine: Save for the three minute intervals. Sean: Well, there is that. > She gently picked up > Monica and carried her to the KnightWing. The other Knight Sabers wondered what > they would do with her. Eiji [Priss]: I have an idea! But I need a hamster, some whipped cream and a wetsuit. Katherine: You watch it, young man. Terry: So what about the rest of the boomers? [Pause] Anyone? > ________________________ [The TV switches off] Sean: Wow, skull. You sure dug up a Stinker for us. Voice: I didn't actually dig it up for you... Eiji: So you've been sitting on that reeking heap for twenty years? Man, you are a looser, head. Voice: I'm not the game designer. Eiji: Hey, dad doesn't approve of that either. Terry: Big surprise. Katherine: So what happens next? Voice: Well, if you're interested, I've got to more parts of the fic. Sean: You're joking, right? Katherine: Get real. Why would we want to watch more of that? Eiji: Come on, it's kinda fun. Sean: Are you crazy? Terry: No, he's right. It's so bad, it's just funny. Like those old Gappa 2000 movies. Eiji: Yeah. And I reckon I can rip off Monica for a improbably-gorgeous-yet-still- tough-and-self-reliant leading babe in the next game we're doing. Voice: And you're getting paid for it. Sean: Well there is that. Terry: There's a new concept. Voice: So it's settled? Katherine: Well... I guess. Terry: Great. It'll be a blast, guys. We just need to clean the place up a bit. [The screen goes blank. A soft thump is heard] Sean: What happened to Eiji? Katherine: You said "clean." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@elmerstudios.com) & Jinas (jinas@elmerstudios.com) Terry and Eiji Tateo are copyright 1999-2000 Max Fauth (Jinas) Katherine Bartley & Sean Mortis are copyright 1999-2000 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.elmerstudios.com All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Rednecks in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > "Take care of her. Remember that Genom is a respectable company and can't have > our reputation marred consorting with vigilantes."