Elmer Studios presents... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Episode 130 sees the continuation of the Crisis of Infinite Temps as the Elmer Studios pick new victims, er, volunteers for the much needed fourth slot. Bubblegum Crisis: Tokyo 2040 is copyright AIC. Robocop is copyright Columbia/Tri-Star Mitchell the GI Joe is copyright Lord Mitchell ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette.] [Dan and Tsuneo enter] Dan: So all in all, it's a pretty cool add-on. Way better than Firestorm. Tsuneo: What's the good part of it? Dan: Everything! Tsuneo: Well, specifically. Is it the new units, the new voices for old units, or the new missions? Dan: Better. Zofia's doubled in hotness factor! Tsuneo: Should have guessed. [Rebecca daintily dances in, gracefully leaping over the couches. She kisses Tsuneo on the cheek, then leaps over to Dan. He puckers up, only to be bashed over the head with her metal arm] Dan: Ow! Tsuneo: Um, Rebecca, are you okay? Rebecca: I got my RiD Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus. I'm in heaven. Tsuneo: Big deal. I've had 'em for months. Rebecca: Yes, but I believe you got them imported through various dealers and thus had to pay an arm and a leg. I got mine locally. Tsuneo: Yeah, but who's going to re-sell them for more? [Natasha enters. She's changed since last time, now wearing a short-sleeved shirt, army pants and thick boots. All of her clothes are rather tattered. She has a Mesoamerican-styled armband tattoo around her upper left arm] Natasha: Um, excuse me, is this the [Looks at a piece of paper in her hand] "Elmer Studios Torture Experiments Lab?" Rebecca: Yes it is. Tsuneo: Last time I let you handle the leaflets. Rebecca: Bite me. Dan: Hey! Natasha! Long time no see, babe! Love the new look. Natasha [Confused]: I'm sorry, do I know you? Dan: It's me, Dan! Rebecca: He's pretty unforgettable. Tsuneo: No matter how hard you try. Natasha: I'm sorry. I, well, can't seem to remember anything beyond, well, a couple of weeks ago, except for my name. Rebecca: That sucks. Dan: So you don't remember how close we were? About the time we, you know... [Natasha hits him] Rebecca: So you remember him now? Natasha: No, it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Tsuneo [Aside]: I'm beginning to think we were better off with Rick. Dan [Clutching head]: Me too. Voice: Good morning everyone. Rebecca: Good morning, Yuri X. Natasha: I take it that's the "Evil Mad One" you mentioned in the job description? Rebecca: Got it in one. Voice: Hey! I won't be slandered like that. Tsuneo: You've been letting Rebecca get away with it for three and a half years. Why bother defending yourself now? Rebecca: Actually, for the first year I just called him head. Tsuneo: But my point stands. Voice: Are they ignoring me? Natasha: Probably. Voice: Um, sorry to ask, but, who are you? Natasha: I'm trying to find out myself. My name's Natasha and, well, that's about it. Voice: Oh, I remember you. You're the neurotic angsty schizo telekinetic with wires in her head. Natasha [Blinks]: I am? Voice: You cost me a pair of TVs. Natasha: After that description, I'd say it's justified. Dan: ...No, I'm sure you called him something funny besides "head" or "skull" during the first year. Rebecca: Well, I started it all in episode 7, where I called him the "Great Big Head in the Sky" and kept that up for a few eps. Then it just went to "voice." Tsuneo: You called him "Mr Voice" once. Rebecca: It was meant to be a "Mr Vampire" reference, but it didn't work out. Tsuneo: You called him "Holly" once and "Olmec Head" once, and it all went downhill from there. Voice: Excuse me! Natasha: I don't think that's going to work. [She pulls out a pistol and fires it several times into the ceiling] Voice: ...my roof... Natasha: The Voice Guy has something to say. Voice: I was just wondering if we could get on with today's review. Rebecca: Do we *have* to? Tsuneo: Do you want to be paid? Rebecca: Point. [They sit, Natasha and Rebecca on the forwards-facing couch, Dan and Tsuneo on the other one. Dan and Rebecca are closest on the corners] Natasha: So what do we do? Dan: We watch the fic and insert stupid comments throughout. Then we blow up the TV and the voice asks us what we thought of it. Natasha: Well that made no sense whatsoever. [The TV switches on] > Robocop/Bubblegum Crisis 2040: Lost in an Alternate Universe Tsuneo: Stuff the fic, we've got the entire plot there in the title. > Prologue > By RobotwtsuwanBat and ShadowHawk Rebecca: Additional writing by AssistantMonkeyBoy. > We don't own the characters involved. Dan: Who does these days? Natasha: Themselves? > Detroit, the Near Future... Tsuneo: Carefully devoid of light bulbs. Natasha: In fact it's actually Toronto, but you guessed that. > Welcome to Hell. A city ravaged by crime. Natasha: You sure this is the future and not the present day? > Another company brought out Omni Consumer > Products from Kanemitsu Corporation. Dan: Eew! He's acknowledging Robocop 3! Rebecca: Dan, it's canon. Insofar as Robocop has anything resembling canon. Dan: Yeah, but it's like reconciling Highlander 2 with the other films. > The construction of Delta City soon followed > after words. At the old Stark Enterprises warehouse Natasha: I think that's another crossover right there. Dan: Any bets on how many more we get before this is done? > at the docks a gun deal was > going on. "You could take on an army," said the seller. Rebecca: The Andorran army, but an army no less. > "Yeah, well that's what we need," said one of the buyers. Tsuneo: A script? Rebecca: A better show to work with? Dan: More shots of Priss naked? Natasha: A blow to the head? > "We want to take on the Detroit Metropolitan Police Department." Tsuneo [Buyer]: We tried being nice and asking reasonably, but now... it's war. Dan: You don't need guns! All you need is a slingshot and harsh language. > "You sure you want to do that?" asked the seller, a little shovked. Tsuneo: Which is like being shocked, but worse. > "Why?" asked another buyer. > "The robot cop," said the seller. Natasha: He's only concerned because he might end up loosing a valued customer. Dan: Just wait five minutes and someone will rip him to pieces again. > "Fuck him," said the first buyer, smugly. Rebecca: Not anatomically possible. He lacks... bits. [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion] > At that time a Detroit Police car came crashing though a warehouse door. "What the > hell?" asked a third buyer. Dan: Off-hand, I'd say it's a police car crashing through the door, but I could be mistaken. Tsuneo: Why'd he have to crash through there anyway? Rebecca: He's got bad breaks. Tsuneo: So how does he usually stop? Rebecca: This is how he usually stops. > From what they saw whoever was inside was doing something Rebecca: Want to be a little clearer, fic? Dan: Darned seatbelt. > and then opened the door. > Out stepped Robocop. He had his machine arm (the machine gun, missile launcher, and > flamethrower Rebecca: It also has three different knives, a corkscrew and the thing to get stones out of horses' hooves. > in one thing seen in Robocop 3) on. His upper right leg opened and out > came his Auto-9 (his regular gun). He grabbed it. Tsuneo: At the speed he moves, they'll be out the back and far away beofre he can do anything. > His raised both of his arms. "Police Officer, you are under arrest," said Robocop. > The three buyers ten henchmen, and the seller pulled Tsuneo: Fourteen on one is pretty good odds. Dan: How so? Tsuneo: Well, Robocarp's pretty tough, and none of them are Named Characters. > out AK-47s, M-16s, Czechs, and Uzis and fired. Dan: So they're shooting him with Eastern Europeans? Rebecca: I think he means Czech Model 61 Machine Pistols, but then again ,it's a funnier image this way. Natasha: Wait, in the however many years it is between the modern day and Roboschlop's time, nobody's invested in new model guns? Dan: They haven't even invested in new model cars. > Robocop fired his machine attachment of his machine arm Tsuneo: Just for reference, which one of the stupidly huge weapons is that? > and Auto-9. Six of the henchmen fell. Tsuneo: And with just one bullet too! Rebecca: Overpenetration rocks. > Robocop fired a missile and destroyed the machine guns the > seller was going to give to the buyers. Natasha: So much for the evidence. Dan: [Roboslob] Evidence is for losers. > "Damn it," said the seller. Natasha: Bobocop's filling the air with lead and all you can think to say is "Damn it?" Rebecca: He's a polite criminal. > Robocop continued to fire at the men. Tsuneo: They all died about five minutes back. He's now just shooting things for the fun of it. > The last four henchmen fell. Tsuneo: Just "fell?" I mean, are they dead, did they trip up, what? Dan: This is the TV series Hobocop, where he's allowed to carry huge guns but can't actually hurt anyone with them. > The buyers looked at Robocop. Dan: [Yoyocop] Now you must be asking yourself. Did he use three thousand rounds, five flamethrower discharges and a missile or three thousand rounds, five flamethrower charges and two missiles? You've got to ask yourself... Where did they go? > "Your move, creeps," said Robocop. Rebecca: [Robodrop] Initiate program: Rehashed lines. Natasha: Does he have any other type? > The buyers dropped their guns. The seller however continued to fire. Natasha: An obvious idiot. Tsuneo: You're good at that. Natasha: Thanks. > Robocop fired the flamethrower part of his machine arm, torching > the seller's arm. Natasha: [Seller] Oh my! If I wasn't in such hideous, unbearable pain, I'd be sure to appreciate his non-lethal use of such an imprecise weapon. Dan: [Robocrumb] Actually I missed. > In pain, the seller dropped his weapon. At that moment Medivacs and > SWAT teams came in, Dan: Roboslop does all the work, they just wait outside with donuts. Tsuneo: Better bring someone with a mop. > led by one of Robocop's true friends, Sergeant John Reed. Rebecca: Not just was he a friend, he was a friend who was still breathing. > Reed looked around. "Murphy, you think next time we do a gun raid, you can avoid > killing all the henchmen?" asked Reed, jokingly. Dan: Asking Robertcop to stop killing people is like asking, uh... Rebecca: You to act your age? Dan: Exactly! > Robocop looked at Reed. "Well, at least that's over," said Robocop. He put his gun > back in the left leg. The leg then closed. Robo then took off the machine arm and > reattached his left hand. Dan: Where was he carrying that arm? Natasha: That's none of your damned business. Rebecca: Hey, he's a BAT. Cool. > His then picked up his machine arm in his left hand. A pink light showed up. Natasha: I was hoping something spontaneous yet not entirely unexpected like this would happen. > "Get back," said Robocop. The pink light disappeared and so did Robocop. Tsuneo: And then a plot hole happened. Dan: Just like that really. > To be continued... Natasha: Because you were naughty. > Robocop/Bubblegum Crisis 2040: Lost in an Alternate Universe Dan: Didn't Dark Horse publish this one back in about '92 or so? Tsuneo: Yeah, it was called Grand Mal. > Chapter 1: First Meetings > By RobotwtsuwanBat & ShadowHawk Rebecca: With some help form BulkCopyAndPaste. > WE don't own the characters involved. Dan: THEY do. > Megalo City, formerly Tokyo, Natasha: Bob to its friends. > 2040... Tsuneo: Just after tea time. > Two people, a boy and girl, were walking down an alleyway, until they saw a pink > light. Rebecca: This sounds like an Origin Story to me. Dan: If Rick was here, he'd be taking notes. > When the pink light disappeared, Robocop stepped from it. "Where am I at?" > asked Robocop. Rebecca: In an alleyway. Natasha: That information was completely accurate while being totally worthless. Well done. Rebecca: I try. Dan: New jive-talking Robodump! > "Why the hell would a Voomer ask where he is?" asked the boy, shocked. Dan: Because he doesn't know where he is. Duh. > "Let's get outta here," said the girl, scared. The two people left. Tsuneo: Ah yeas. Who could ever forget the amazing contribution of "Boy" and "Girl" to this fic? Rebecca: Who? Tsuneo: Dunno, I forgot. > Robocop looked around him. This place didn't look like Detroit. Natasha: It also looked suspiciously like Toronto. > He saw a Voomer on a rampage. Tsuneo: I'll give the fic this much. It goes straight to the action, rather than just messing around with pointless details. > He changed from his left hand to his machine arm. Dan: [Dodocop] Good thing I had this attachment handy. Get it? Handy? I kill me. Rebecca: No, that was a guy called Clarence. Natasha: Clarence? > He then got out his Auto-9 and raced to the Voomer. Rebecca: He picked his nose. He scratched himself. > Hr stood in front of it. "Freeze, you are under arrest for > destruction of private & public property," said Robocop. Dan: [Bongocop] I am hereby authorised by whatever city this is to deal with you in whatever way I deem fit. > "What do you think you are, fellow Voomer?" asked the rouge Voomer. Tsuneo: Odd, most rampaging boomers in BGC 2040 loose their intelligence when they monster out. They usually don't, or can't speak. Dan: Maybe he's a chatty one. Rebecca [Robotop]: I think I am... a lumberjack! > "I am Robocop." The Voomer blasted at Robocop. Robocop flew into a taxi. > "THAT WAS MY TAXI!!!" yelled the driver, angry. Dan [Hobocop]: That was my head. > "You are also under arrest for assaulting a police officer," said Robocop. Rebecca: Pedantic, isn't he? > "Shut up," said the Voomer. This Voomer was a cyborg. Tsuneo: No, it was a voomer or a cyborg, not both. > Robocop raised both of his arms and began firing. Tsuneo: I think this guy could cover for the entire ADP on his own. > Megalo City Advanced Police Department... Natasha: Proud winners of the Ensign Throwaway award for troop survival rates. Rebecca: Hey, if the ADP from classic BGC fought the ADP from BGC 2040, who'd win? Tsuneo: Hmmm... Probably the Imperial Stormtroopers. > Everyone was at their desks until... Dan: Lunch break! > "All units, we have reports of two Voomers fighting each other on Main Street," Natasha: Anyone got tickets? > said the dispatcher over the intercom. > Daily Wong got up, shocked. "Shhesh, two Voomers beating the shit outta each other?" Dan [Leon]: You got a problem with that? Tsuneo [Daley]: Well, no, actually. > he asked his partner, Leon McNichol. > "Look, they are on a rampage and we gotta stop them," said Leon. Dan: Why not just stand back and let them do in each other, then clean up the winner? Tsuneo: Because they haven't reached their minimum casualty count for this week. Dan: Why do they have one of those? Tsuneo: Because downsizing always looks so bad. > Genom Headquarters... Tsuneo: Meanwhile, back at Shinra headquaters. > Quincy Rosenkreutz was at his desk. Natasha: Being honest, where else would he be? Dan: Damn, he was here just a minute ago. He must have walked off with several tons of life-support machinery in tow. > A man came in. "Sir, we have reports of two > Voomers fighting each other," said the man. Tsuneo: You're wasting Quincy's time with that? He's got subordinates to deal with that kind of thing. > "Find out what you can," said Quincy. Natasha: That was a remarkably quick and coherent answer. Rebecca: Must be the edited highlights. Tsuneo: In this fic, it's a deep and meaningful scene. > Main Street... > Robocop soon saw that the Voomer was wearing metal, Tsuneo: Actually, it's *made* of metal, y'see. Natasha: Voomer made of iron, Roboflop made of meat. > so he changed strategies. Tsuneo: What, he started doing something? Rebecca: He built lots of V3 rockets and took out his enemy's power plants. > He put his gun back and fired a missile at the Voomer's left leg. Rebecca: With all the gratuitous destruction at the warehouse, you'd think he'd be low on those. > The Voomer ran > before it hit. The Voomer blasted an energy blast at Robocop's chestplate, Dan: Where'd that come from? Natasha: It absorbed a handy death-ray before it met him. Dan: Oh. Tsuneo: Am I the only one here who thinks this sounds more like a classic BGC Boomer than a BGC 2040 Voomer? > denting it and causing Robocop to fly into another car. Tsuneo [Bobocop]: This is getting monotonous. > Robocop got up. Robocop fired his flamethrower at the Voomer. Natasha: Robodrek did stuff. Rebecca: Robodrek ate pie. Dan: Robodrek got bored. Tsuneo: Robodrek went home. > "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH!!!" roared the boomer > in pain. "You are going to die for that." Dan [Robocot]: Already did. Tsuneo [Voomer]: Damn. Damn damn damn. > "As I said before you are under arrest," said Robocop. Rebecca: This is getting monotonous. Wake me when a plot point actually occurs. Tsuneo: It's just like the Roboslop movies, really. > An energy blast hit the two cyborgs. Natasha: Oooh, nicely called, Rebecca. > The Voomer and Robocop looked up to see The Knight Sabers. Tsuneo: Suddenly, without so much as a warning - or even an establishing shot! Natasha: I guess it'd be pretty silly if it was anyone else. Rebecca: So if none of them have blasters in 2040, who fired that shot? Dan: The Knight Saber behind the grassy knoll. > "Divide and conquer," ordered Sylia Stingray in an assertive tone. > Sylia and Nene Romanova ran towards the Voomer. Natasha [Sylia]: You go first, Nene. Rebecca [Nene]: You know, boss, Every now and then I get the feeling that you're not being level with us. Natasha [Sylia]: Aaaagh! The voices, the voices! What did you say? > Priss Agagiri and Linna Yamazaki raced towards Robocop. Dan: Whichever one of these two ladies can find the Roboflop in the pool of chocolate pudding first wins the Women's title *and* the affections of Torgo Flair. Natasha: [Priss] I'm sure there's a way I could lose. > "You are under arrest for obstruction of justice," said Robocop. > "Yeah right," said Priss, sarcastically. Priss began firing. Dan: With what? Priss' 2040 hardsuit doesn't have any guns. Natasha: She's holding up a finger and pretending. Rebecca: No guns? How lame is that. > Some of the blasts punched holes in Robocop's chestplate. Natasha: ...that's one bad-ass finger she's got there. > The Voomer looked and saw what saw going > on. He fired an energy blast at Robocop. Robocop flew into an abandoned > building. The Voomer blasted the building enough times to collapse on Robocop, > burying him in tons of rubble. Tsuneo: Hello, mr. voomer? Two Knight Sabres bearing down on you? Dan: There's an abandoned building in the heart of downtown Megalo city? I find that a bit hard to believe. Natasha: Fortunately, it was an abandoned part of the city, and everyone who was there either got out at the last minute or was sent to another dimension. > The Voomer laughed. "I got him. Next?" said the Voomer. But something was > moving in the debris. Robocop rose out of the rubble, dented but alive. Rebecca: I get it, this is the part where Robobob gets half-wrecked, re-built, discovers some of his lost humanity, gets some new weapons and goes on to kick tail in the finale. Dan: Finale? We're five minutes into this fic. > His power level was down to 60%. Dan: So he used a Megalixir and was back to full strength. > That was the last straw. Two A.D. Police cruisers arrived. Dan: Dogpile in the ring. F**k you, WCW (R). Rebecca: DDT digest, how we miss ye. > In one were Leon and Daily. The two officers in the other stepped out. Tsuneo: Notice how the second two don't get names. I think we can guess that they're gonna die. > "FREEZE!!!" said one cop. The Voomer fired an energy blast killing the two cops. Tsuneo: ... Natasha: Nicely called there. Tsuneo: Well, at least this fic doesn't mess about. Dan: [Leon] Good thing we're wearing these bulletproof names. > Robocop raced to get his left hand back on after removing his machine arm. Dan: Why? I mean, he's in the middle of a firefight. Rebecca: Maybe he finally ran out of ammo. Tsuneo: Maybe the fic should have told us that. > After > doing that he raced and got one of the dead cops blasters and began firing at > the Voomer. Rebecca: That makes sense to me. I mean, if a heavy machinegun, flamethrower and missile launcher hasn't stopped it, of course a handgun will. > "You are under arrest for murder, destruction of private property, destruction > of public property, damage to police property, and attempted assault," Tsuneo [Robomop]: Parking in a no parking zone, jaywalking and pulling the little tags off sofa cushions. Dan [Voomer]: Damn, you got me there. > said > Robocop. The Voomer staggered. The Knight Sabers began blasting at Robocop. Dan: Now that I think about it, Linna doesn't have a gun either. So what are they shooting him with? Tsuneo: Good intentions. > Robocop flew into a car, which turned over due to Robocop hitting the front > of it. > "FREEZE VOOMER!!!" yelled Leon, pointing his blaster at Robocop. > "Better do as he say," Dan: What you say? [Natasha hits him with a cushion] Rebecca: Don't tell me, they've got AYB where you come from? Natasha: No, just an instinctive reaction. Dan: I still want to know why you let Tango get away with it. > said Daily. Robocop got up. Leon fired at the car > behind Robocop, causing it to explode and hurl Robocop into the A.D. Police > car that Daily and Leon were in. Dan: Brilliant move there, smartass. Tsuneo: Robocop's really hurling a lot today. Natasha: Maybe he shouldn't have drunk so much last night. Tsuneo: So why did he shoot the car instead of Legocop? Rebecca: He hadn't met his "wanton destruction" quota. > Genom Headquarters... > Quincy was watching the news. "I thought you said two Voomers were fighting > each other," said Quincy. Dan: They got bored and went home. > "That's what the news said," stated the scientist. > "Find out what you can about him," ordered Quincy. Tsuneo: In other words, same as before. > Main Street... > Robocop got up. Robocop's power level was at 40% now. All: Sell! Sell! Sell! > "Stay down," ordered Leon. > Robocop pulled out his Auto-9 and fired it near Leon's feet. Robocop walked > towards Leon. Tsuneo: Is there any reason why the authours use disjointed sentence fragments all the time? Rebecca: They took their grammar cues from their handles. Tsuneo: Ahh. > "You can't scare me," said Leon. Rebecca: The seat of his pants said otherwise. [Natasha hits her with a cushion] Tsuneo: Thanks. > Robocop put his gun back, took the blaster, > and walked pass Leon and Daily. Dan: [Leon] Dammit! Why does everyone ignore me Daley? Tsuneo: [Daley] You say something? > The Voomer looked up from his battle. "YOU ARE STILL FUNCTIONING?" asked the > Voomer, loudly. Dan: No, he's just twitching. It's an involuntary muscle spasam. Tsuneo: But they're artificial muscles. Dan: They're artificial spasms. Tsuneo: That makes sense. > Robocop fired the blaster, full power at the Voomers chest. It then exploded. Natasha: ...So he shoots it non-stop with a heavy machine gun, flamethrower and missile launcher to no avail, then a handgun finishes it off? Rebecca: Don't you see, it' was down to it's last few SDC (TM). > Priss fired at Robocop. Robocop staggered and fell. "You are under arrest," > Robocop said. Rebecca: Talking from a position of strength. > Robocop looked at the Knight Sabers. "Something wrong with him," stated Linna, > concerned. Tsuneo: It might be me, but it might have something to do with the big holes you shot in his chest. > Robocop fell down. Robocop was about to shut down in 5...4...3...2...1... Rebecca [Robocrock, slowly]: Daisy, daisy, give me your answer true... > Robocop went offline. Dan [Gobocop]: Stupid ISP, always booting me off. > "Something's wrong," said Nene, shocked. Natasha: You blew it up! Of course something's wrong! > Sylia ran towards Robocop > and tried to pick him up."Help me," said Sylia. The other Sabers ran and grabbed > hold of Robocop and put him in their vehicle. Tsuneo: Now you know that's gotta be classic BGC. They don't deploy in their van in 2040. > Sylia ran back and grabbed Robo's machine arm and put it in. Dan: Are Leon and Daley just going to stand there and let them walk off with their suspect? Tsuneo: Would it make any difference if they tried to stop them? > "Why do we have him?" asked Priss. Natasha: Because he's the only one left in the stores, and if Mackie doesn't get one for Christmas, there'll be hell to pay. > Sylia looked at Priss. "To study him," was all she said. Rebecca [Sylia]: I think we're related. Dan: [Priss] Why didn't you tell me that before we blew him up? > Genom Headquarters... > Quincy was watching the news. "I want to know what the cyborg is," ordered Quincy. > "Yes, sir," said a scientist. Dan [Scientist]: And that's my only line. > To be continued... Natasha: Ad nauseam. > Robocop/Bubblegum Crisis 2040: Lost in an Alternate Universe Rebecca: In which Leon is evil and has a Goatee, and Priss isn't gay. > Chapter 2: Who are you? Natasha: I'm not too sure. > By RobotwtsuwanBat and ShadowHawk Rebecca: Featuring the adventures of GirlsInTightArmour and MetalCopGuy. > We don't own the characters involved. Rebecca: You can keep Daley; we don't mind. > The Knight Sabers Headquarters... Dan: Aka "Babeland." > The Knight Sabers had arrived back at their HQ. They still had their armor on but > not their helmets. Sylia was leaning over Robocop, fixing him. Rebecca: He's the product of technology from an alternate universe where robotic design went a different path, but she can repair him easily enough. Must have had the manual. Tsuneo: Even though it's Nigel who does all the mechanic stuff for them. Rebecca: He also gives Sylia's systems a thorough work over on a regular basis. [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion] > "Well, that's it. > He's repaired," stated the Sabers leader, put the repaired chestplate back on, Robocop > didn't have his helmet on. Rebecca: [Sylia] Okay, so there's some parts left over, but that always happens when you do some DIY. Natasha: [Priss] Although I'm pretty sure you should put that grey squishy thing back. Tsuneo: From sentence fragments to run-ons. Well done. > "What is he?" asked Linna. Tsuneo: Incredibly marketable. > "A cyborg," said Sylia. She began to access Robo's memories. Sylia: Popcorn anyone? > She began to play one of Robo's memories on a screen. "Cops don't like me, Tsuneo: Ever wonder why? It's because you don't wash regularly. > so I don't like cops. Nenenenenenenenenenenenenenenen. BOOOM!!!" Natasha: Well that's a very interesting taunt there. How do you pronounce it? Tsuneo: Wow. So gloriously mature. > "Hhhhhhnuhhhhh." Dan: So he's being attacked by Beavis and Butthead? Tsuneo: I think it's an impression of someone being sick. > "He's all yours." > "Hey, pretty boy. Look this way." Rebecca: No that way! Up! Down! To the middle! Dan: Fooled you! Ha ha! > "BLAM!!! BOOM!!! BLAM!!! BOOM!!! BLAM!!! BOOM!!! Ahhhhhhh, Rrrroggghh, Ahhhhhhhh, > hhhhhhunnnn." Rebecca: You know, you'd probably achieve more if you shot him rather than standing around making noises. Tsuneo: This reads like the text equivalent of an inkblot test. > "Fun's over. BLAM!!!" Dan: Did it ever begin. > The memory of Murphy's "death" at the hands of Clarence Boddicker was finished > playing on the screen. Natasha: So *that's* what we were watching. Dan: I was hoping it was a different film. > "Oh, my," stated Linna, shocked. Rebecca [Sylia]: What's wrong? To violent? Natasha [Linna]: No, the thought of someone naming their son Clarence. > "Ever heard of the idea of alternate universes?" asked Sylia. Dan: [Priss] Didn't they make it to number five on the charts? Rebecca: [Linna] That's it, you've been reading Nene's fanfics again, haven't you? > "What has that got to do with him?" asked Priss. Tsuneo: [Sylia] Well, his technology is primitive compared to ours and he's apparently American, so he must be from an alternate universe. > "He may be from an alternate universe," stated Sylia. Natasha [Linna]: Like one where Priss has a huge boofy Mullet and Quicny's surprisingly buff for a 78 year old? Rebecca [Sylia]: Now you're being silly. > "I'll find out more." Natasha: [Linna] How? Rebecca: [Sylia] Uhm... > Main Street... Tsuneo: Personally, I'd be surprised if there was a street in Tokyo called "Main Street". Dan: All the Streets in Megalo City are named after Quincy. It makes getting around a little hard at times. > An entire squad of A.D. Police officers was there. Leon was looking at where Robocop > shot at the ground. Tsuneo: [Leon] What was it about this innocent patch of concrete that drew his ire? Dan: [Daley] the fact that you were standing there? > He saw some shell casings. "9 millimeter and M-4 bullets?" Leon > asked himself. He walked over to a man. "What were the Voomers doing?" Dan: The tango! Voice: Aaack! Dan *The* tango, not Tango. Voice: Heh, I knew that. > "The one that blew up was on a rampage. The one that the Sabers took was actually > trying to stop it," said the witness. Dan: [Witness] Buy my T-shirt! > Leon walked over to his partner. "What is it?" asked Daily. Tsuneo: [Daley] It's a crime scene. I thought you'd recognise them by now. Dan: [Leon] Can't be. Not enough dead ADP troops. > "Whatever the Sabers took, it ain't a Voomer," said Leon. > "Why is that?" asked Daily. Dan [Leon]: 'Cause it's funny looking. Tsuneo [Daley]: "Funny looking?" Dan [Leon]: You know, funny looking. > "Voomers don't shoot bullets from 9mm or M-4 guns," said Leon. Dan: What if they've absorbed them? Tsuneo [Leon]: Be quiet! Dan: What if they grabbed a gun from a dead officer? Tsuneo [Leon]: Shut up! Dan: What if he's got a pointed stick? > "So?" asked Daily. > "He was trying to stop the Voomer," said Leon. Dan: [Daley] Yeah, you said that. Tsuneo: [Leon] Yeah. Dan: [Daley] And? Tsuneo: [Leon] Well, yeah. Dan: [Daley] So? Tsuneo: [Leon] Exactly. Dan: [Daley] You don't have a clue, do you? > The Knight Sabers HQ... > Robocop was still asleep. His helmet was back on. Tsuneo: He's dreaming about chasing bunnies. Dan [Roboclod]: Freeze! You are under arrest for stealing carrots! BLAM! BLAM! > "From what I got from his memory banks, he WAS a man, Rebecca [Robocobra]: Once... Was a man... > a cop known as Alex Murphy," said Sylia. "He was an officer of > the Detroit Metropolitan Police Department." > "So how'd he end up here?" asked Priss. Natasha: He hired a cab to take him to the airport, and this was a part of the driver's route. > "Genom is experimenting with Interdimensional technology," said Linna. Tsuneo: Brilliant deduction, Linna! How did you leap to that spectacular conclusion? Natasha [Linna]: I read it on the internet, so it must be true. > "Two people did report a pink light, so he may be from another universe," said Sylia. Rebecca: Well there's a brilliant leap of logic. You see a pink light, ergo it must be a parallel universe. Couldn't it just be neon signs instead? > "Well, the A.D. Police just called for a search for him," said Nene. > "He's also called Robocop," said Sylia. "A cyborg police officer." Natasha: Part man, part machine, part telephone booth... but mostly telephone booth. > Inside Robocop's mind... Rebecca: Anyone want to mess around in here and give him a few childhood traumas? Tsuneo: Cut that out. > Inside he was dreaming of an old partner and a killer. "Drop pig or he gets it." > "Take the shot, Murphy." Tsuneo: [Lobocop] Well, if I knew what I was shooting at... > "I can't, John." > "What are you prepared to do?" Dan: Pick the box! Rebecca: Go with the snapper! Natasha: Pick the box! Tsuneo: Change channel. > Murphy put the gun down. "Sorry, John." > "So am I." Rebecca: So who's talking? Natasha: He is. Rebecca: Who's he? Natasha: Who? Rebecca: Him! Natasha: Exactly. > "See he's smart...smart and dead." The killer was about to shoot Murphy when John > elbowed the killer in the face. Dan: Remind me, who's John? Tsuneo: Remind me why I should care. > John then pulled out his gun and... "BLAM!!!"...shot and killed the killer. Rebecca: So now we're just re-hashing scenes from the movies? Tsuneo: How to pad out your fanfic, part one. Re-use scenes, particularly flashbacks, from your source materials. > He went to another memory, one with another old partner at trial. > "We heard damaging testimony of Timothy Malloy." > "How does it feel to know you put your own partner behind bars? HE WAS A DIRTBAG, > MURPH, A FUCKING DIRTBAG." Natasha: But on the other hand, he called his mother regularly. > Robocop's mind switched to another memory, one with another partner, a woman, and a > man. Rebecca: And a huge tub of banana yoghurt. [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion] > "You wanna get in there, you're gonna have to shoot though us." > "I don't have a huge problem with that." "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAT!!!" Natasha: Who said what to who just then? Tsuneo: Sometimes directions help. Natasha: Directions nothing, we need a street directory. > In Reality... > Robocop woke up. He got up and grabbed his machine arm. Dan [Robofop]: Mine! > The Knight Sabers looked to see Robocop awake. Natasha [Sylia]: It's alive! It's alive! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Pause] What? Rebecca [Linna]: We need to talk. > "Freeze. Detroit Police. You are under arrest for reckless > endangerment, assaulting an officer, kidnapping, destruction of public property, > destruction of private property, and damage to police property," > said Robocop. Tsuneo [Robobop]: As well as wearing those colours in daylight hours. > "We just saved you," stated Priss. Rebecca: And that's his special way of saying thanks. > Robocop looked at Priss. "I have a job to do," said Robocop. "Somewhere, there is a > crime happening." Natasha [Checks watch]: Nope, you just missed it. But if you wait, there'll be another one along in a minute. > Robocop turned and headed for the door. He then looked at Sylia. > Another memory came up. Dan: The hot springs scene from El Hazard. Mmmmmm... Natasha: Is that a pillow-thumping offence? Rebecca: Does it matter? [They both hit him with cushions] > "Alex, I have something very important to tell you." > "What is it, Ellen?" Rebecca [Ellen]: I'm gay. Tsuneo [Mojocop]: Your show's cancelled. Rebecca [Ellen]: Can I take a second opinion? > "I love you very much." > "Hey is something wrong with him?" asked Linna. > "Who are you?" asked Robocop, pointing at Sylia. > "I'm Sylia Stingray," said the Knight Saber's leader. Natasha [Sylia]: I don't know why I'm telling this to a total stranger who may yet turn out to be an incredibly dangerous killer android or spy for GENOM or the like, but hey, secret identities are way over-rated anyway. > "Why do you ask, Alex?" > "How do you know my name?" asked Robocop. > "I accessed your memory," said Sylia. Rebecca [Sylia]: Anyone want to see baby photos? > "You are vigilantes," said Robocop. "Come quietly or there will be...trouble." > "Do you really think you'll stop us?" asked Priss. He switching hands in switched hands > which he was holding he machine arm. Tsuneo: ...Well that made no sense whatsoever. > With his machine arm being held in his left hand, he was able to access his Auto-9. He > got his Auto-9. Rebecca: Did he really need to say that, or is the authour just an idiot? Natasha: An obvious idiot. > "I am not in the mood," said Robocop. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." > At that point, Mackie, Sylia's sister came in, though the door. "Yo, sis what's > goin' on?" Tsuneo: ...Mackie doesn't talk like that. Dan: Classic Mackie does. Tsuneo: Actually, now that I think about it, this is sounding more like "classic" BGC than BGC 2040. > asked Mackie, before he saw Robocop. When he did see him, Mackie said, > "OH, SHIT!!!" Rebecca: This writing is sounding more and more like Tom Dyron the more I read of it. Dan: Damn straight. [Rebecca hits him with a cushion] > Robocop saw the door, pushed Mackie aside, and walked though it. Natasha: Next time, open the door first. > "Thank you," Robocop > said, as he put his gun back in its holster. He walked out of the building. He saw a > man talking on a cell phone, next to a car. Robocop walked to the man. "I need to > borrow your vehicle for police use," said Robocop. Rebecca: Unfortunately, that car just happened to be a Nissan Pathfinder with Firestone tires. > The man looked at Robocop. Natasha: A gruesomely overarmed killer cyborg is asking to borrow your car in a town that's famous for gruesomely overarmed killer cyborgs. Are you going to argue? > "Uh, hang on," he said to who he saw talking to on the > phone. He handed Robocop the keys. > "Thank you," said Robocop. Robo got in and drove off. Dan [Man]: Most polite damned rampaging boomer I ever saw. > He needed to know where he > was. He stopped at an electronics store. He looked at a Television. Tsuneo: What do you know, Star Trek reruns. Dan: So what's on RAW? Rebecca: Kamikaze Stasiak. Dan: Cool. > "As usual, Genom and its chairman Quincy Rosenkreutz is denying any connection to the > rampage," said a reporter. Natahsa: Flup-bleep, flup-bleep, flup-bleep. Dan [Quincy]: It wasn't me, it was the one-armed man. Natahsa: Flup-bleep, flup-bleep, flup-bleep... > A memory of Robocop's came to him. > "What's your name, son?" > "Murphy." > "Robocop 2 will seek out every laboratory and rid our city of Nuke. > Oh, yes thing will be quieter with this boy around." Natasha: I guess he's just going to stay in his box all day. > "Cain let's step outside." > "Well, I gotta hand it to you, Murphy is it?" > "My friends call me Murphy. You call me...Robocop." > Robocop punched the window. He still didn't know where he was. He tipped on a person's > shoulder. "Where am I?" asked Robo. > The person looked at Robocop. "M-Megalo City," said the man. "U-Used to be T-Tokyo." Rebecca: But that's before it had *the* operation. > Robocop put two and two together. Genom must have been behind what he fought and had > a hand in the city's market."Thank you," he said as he got back in the car and drove > off. Dan [Man]: Where are you going? Tsuneo [Robodot]: Somewhere. Dan [Man]: I always wanted to go there. > To be continued... > Robocop/Bubblegum Crisis 2040: Lost in an Alternate Universe > Chapter 3: Not Again Tsuneo: Yes, again. > By RobotwtsuwanBat and ShadowHawk Rebecca: Based on characters created by SomeoneWhosNotUs. > We don't own the characters involved. > The Knight Sabers HQ... > The Knight Sabers were now in their civilian clothes. "Okay, despite making a tracker, > I want everyone on full alert, understood?" said Sylia. Dan: She made a tracker, which means everyone's on alert? What gives? Tsuneo: I think they meant that she made a tracking device and attached it to Roboblot, but it's hard to be sure. > "Yeah," said Priss. Rebecca: She's really contributed so far. Natasha: Yeah. > Genom Headquarters... Rebecca: Quincy's shagging pad. > Brian Mason was looking at footage of Robocop and the Voomer battle. "Hmmmm, so the > so-called second 'Voomer' is a cyborg," said Mason. "What does Quincy want with it?" Natasha: The action figure rights. > "He wants the cyborg destroyed at all costs," said a scientist. > "Well, I want you to just capture it," said Mason. "He could prove useful to us." > "But this time, Quincy is adamant," said the scientist. "He wants his orders followed." > "To hell with Quincy," said Mason. Natahsa: Flup-bleep, flup-bleep, flup-bleep. Dan [Quincy]: Already there. Natahsa: Flup-bleep, flup-bleep, flup-bleep... > A.D. Police Headquarters... > Ellise Drake and Charles Sweager was at their desks when Leon and Daily came in. Rebecca: What do minor characters do when everyone else's back is turned? And more importantly, who cares? > "The chief want to see you about the cyborg," said Charles. > "Does anyone know where Nene is?" asked Ellise. Dan: Nene covers for herself by leaving her computer downloading a constant stream of videos and MP3s while hogging bandwidth and network resources. Nobody notices the difference. > "No," said Charles. Rebecca: Lay out a trail of cheesecake slices and wait with a net. You'll get her for sure. > Leon and Daley walked into Chief Nicholas Roland's office. "What is it?" asked Leon. > "WHY DID YOU FUCK UP...AGAIN?" asked Nicholas. Dan [Leon]: We're the ADP. It's what we're good at. > "You let the Knight Sabers take the second Voomer." Tsuneo: Lay off them. They asked the Knight Sabers not to take it *nicely* and still got a now. > "Sir, it might not be a Voomer," said Leon. "I'll keep an eye on it." Rebecca: He doesn't know where it is, but he's going to keep an eye on it anyway. Natasha: Translation: He's going to sit behind his desk. > "Good," said Nicholas. "We'll try to see if it's a new model Voomer." Tsuneo [Nicholas]: We like to know what we're going to get massacred by. > Hugh Geit... > A guard looked out the window to see a car come up. The guard walked up to it. "Pal, > you're illegally parked," he said. Out of the car stepped Robocop. Dan: Aren't you going to arrest yourself for that? > "You care to get out of my way?" asked Robocop. The guard moved out of the way. Natasha: Good choice. You get to live. > Robocop grabbed his machine arm and walked into an > elevator. The elevator doors closed. Dan: I really wonder why we needed to know that. Rebecca: So the authour could spare us the trouble of not knowing if the lifts were working. > "Security, we got a problem," said the guard. Dan: Shouldn't he have stopped Robopot? Tsuneo: He's packing a small arsenal on that arm. Your main job benefit is a clip-on polyester tie. Think about it. > Genom Headquarters... Dan: Meanwhile, back at the ranch... > A man ran into Quincy's office. "SIR, A GUARD AT HUGH GEIT HAS REPORTED THE CYBORG > BEING THERE," said the man. Natasha: Whoa! Somebody needs to cut down on the coffee. > "Good, kill him," said Quincy. "Kill the cyborg." > A.D. Police HQ... > Everyone looked at a secretary. "Sir, there's a Voomer break-in at the Hugh Geit > building." Rebecca: It's probably just some idiot using a fire exit to sneak out for a smoke. > "I want everyone in full body armor there NOW!!!" ordered Nicholas. Everyone left > the officer area. > Hugh Geit... Tsuneo: Is it really worth asking what Robodot's doing here anyway? Natasha: You could try, but I can't guarantee you'd like the answer. > Robocop reached the top floor. He got his machine arm attached. He saw that no one > was at the offices. Mason and five Military Voomers came though. Dan: Damn, how'd they get there so quick? Natasha: They travelled by mysterious pink light. > "There's the 'Voomer'. > Get him," ordered Mason. Robocop's left leg opened, reveling another gun. Tsuneo: How many of those does he have? Rebecca: He's packing as much heat as a Cobra trooper or an underarmed Cyberpunk Player Character. > Robocop grabbed it and fired it at Mason. Mason ran. Dan: Faster than a speeding bullet, it's SuperMason! Tsuneo [Mason]: Don't worry, I'll be leading you... from behind this reinforced concrete wall. > Robocop put the gun back. Robocop then > removed his left hand and put on the machine arm. Robocop targeted one of the > shoulder missile launchers and fired at it. The Voomer blew up. Tsuneo: And the others are doing what here? > Robocop > ran into a freight elevator. The Voomers followed. Robocop hit the down button. The > elevator went down. Rebecca: I think we could have figured that out for ourselves, fic. > "You must surrender," said a Voomer. > "You are under arrest," said Robocop. > "Shut up," said another Voomer. Robocop aimed for the missile launchers on two > Voomers. He fired at them and they blew up. Tsuneo: And then he fragged himself. Rebecca: Lesson two of FPS games, don't use rocket launchers in small rooms. Tsuneo: What's lesson one? Rebecca: Shotguns rock. Natasha: Amen to that. > The two last Voomers fired missile at > Robocop. They hit the floor near Robo's feet. Robocop fell down. Natasha: This is a very sturdy lift they're in. You've got Robocop and four Voomers in it firing missiles at each other and the floor's still intact. > The Voomers walked > towards Robocop. The Voomers looked at Robocop. > "Well, he's down," said a Voomer. "What do you want to do with it?" Rebecca [Voomer]: Want to interface with his rear port? [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion] > "Take him back to the Mason," said the second Voomer. Dan: The Mason? You mean there's a weirdo in a yellow apron waiting for them? > Robocop got up and his interface needle came out of his right hand. He slammed into > a hole in the first Voomer's back. Rebecca: Good to see that alternate universe technologies and computer programming are compatible with each other. Natasha: That's almost as goofy as the Macintosh using aliens. Almost. > The Voomer fired its missiles but they hit the second Voomer. > "What did you do?" asked the Voomer. > "I interfaced with you," said Robocop. Robo removed his spike from the Voomer. Rebecca [Robopop]: Was it good for you? Dan [Boomer]: I don't want to talk about it. > "Why are you programmed different, Voomer?" asked the Voomer. > "Because, I am a COP," said Robocop. Robocop fired at the Voomer's sight sensors. Tsuneo: "Optics". > He > then changed from his machine arm back to his left hand. "I serve the Public Trust, > protect the innocent, and uphold the law." Natasha [Roboslop]: I eat donuts, slack off and take kickbacks. Rebecca: [Robocad] I cause millions in property damage and gun down suspects. > Robocop stopped the elevator. The > elevator was on the first floor. A group of A.D. Police officers were outside. Dan: On one side: A Million ADP officers. On the other: One robot cop. Let's see who walks out of this one the winner. Rebecca: Ten bucks on Robocrock. > "Voomer, give up," said Nicholas. Robocop just walked on. "FIRE!!!" > Twelve men in K-11 Powered Armor showed up. Natasha: You don't think they're over-reacting a bit? Rebecca: I'm amazed their budget would allow for it. > Robocop removed his left hand and put on > his machine arm. He fired the missile at the ground under two of them. It hit its > target. They fell. Robocop removed his machine arm, reattached his left hand, and > ran to the car. Tsuneo: And during all this time, he hasn't been hit once, right? You are kidding me. Dan: Well, we all knew that the ADP were crap, but I guess this shows how crap they really are. > He got in and drove off. "Are you all right?" asked Nicholas. > "Fine," said one of the officers. > "I'm okay," said the other. Dan [Officer]: It only hurts when I breathe, sir. Rebecca: I'm wondering how long Robodog here can go without actually hurting or killing anyone. Aside from the mooks her waxed at the start, it's been a very slow day for him. Natasha: Of course! He's crossed over into a different medium, so it must be cartoon Robosmock. Tsuneo: That explains... well, everything, really. > Nicholas got in a Police car. "After them," he ordered. > Three police cars: one with Leon & Daily in it, another with Ellise & Charles, and the > one Nicholas chased Robocop. Robocop looked out the rear view mirror. Dan [Robodong]: I hate tailgaters. > A blast from Leon's > blaster blew off the driver side door. Robocop peered out enough to see the tires. He > pulled out his gun and fired at the tire of Leon and Daily's car. The car swerved out > of control and hit Ellise and Charles's car. "Are you all right?" asked Leon. Tsuneo [Leon]: I'll give him this much, he's a good shot. Can we give him a spot on the team? > "Fine," said Ellise. > "Is that gun nuts?" asked Charles. Rebecca: Forget the gun, you should be wondering about the guy wielding it. Tsuneo: Like you can talk. [Rebecca hits him with a cushion] See? > "Well, he knows what to do," said Daley. > Nicholas continued to chase Robocop. "FRREZE!!!" Nicholas yelled. Robocop fired at the > tires of Nicholas's car. It swerved out of control and crashed into a parked car. "DAMN > IT!!!" yelled Nicholas. Rebecca: Four cars crashed during a high speed chase and nobody hurt at all? This has got to be the Robospot cartoon. Natasha: Either that or a Lethal Weapon movie. Rebecca: Naw, if it was, Mel Gibson would have soaked up a dozen bullets by now. > Robocop drove off. Tsuneo: Okay, I can't resist it. What was Dodocop doing at Hugh Geit? Dan: He wanted to see that hot supervisor voomer. > Sylia Stingray's home... > Meishio Hesodnn saw Sylia come in. "Welcome back, Madam," said Meishio. "How was the > group?" > "Thank you and fine," said Sylia. > The Hot Legs Bar... Dan: Well that was a pointless scene. Tsuneo: Hang on, Hot Legs is the name of the place Priss plays at in Classic BGC, not BGC 2040. Rebecca: So in other words, it's really classic BGC, not BGC 2040 that Roboschlong has wandered into. Tsuneo: Barring a few names, yes. > Priss came in. "Well, where have ya been?" asked Maxon. Rebecca [Priss]: Coffee break. Dan [Maxon]: For twelve hours? Rebecca [Priss]: I drink a lot of coffee. > "I was visiting someone," said Priss. > "Figures," said Jaid. > "Ready for tonight?" asked Fox. > "Yeah," said Priss. Tsuneo: I love the depth of the character interaction in this fic. Really. > A.D Police HQ... > Nene came in to see Nicholas, Ellise, Charles, Leon and Daily back at their desks. > "Where were you?" asked Nicholas. Natasha [Nene]: Getting donuts. Dan [Nicholas]: Then where's mine? Natasha [Nene]: I ate it. Sorry. > "Nowhere, just checking something out," said Nene. > Hugh Geit... > Kain Smith and Misae were looking at the place. Dan [Kain]: It hasn't looked this bad since the christmas party. Natasha [Misae]: Never mention that again. I think the copies of my butt are still in circulation. > A car came up and Linna got out. Tsuneo: Aha! Caught you, fic! In 2040, Linna doesn't have a car! > "What happened?" asked Linna. > "A Voomer trashed the place," said Kain. > "The one that wasn't destroyed," said Misae. Dan: Well that really narrows it down. > K's Garage... > Nigel Kirkland was working on a car when he walked to a TV and turned it on. "BREAKING > NEWS!!! Natasha: You can tell it's important because it has THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! > The Voomer that disappeared from the battle scene is responsible for the > destruction of five more," said the news reporter. Dan: Police are now looking for a one-armed droid. Rebecca: He bagged enough to be promoted to Elite, so now he gets a Super-Gun Arm and can self-heal. Tsuneo: They're not named characters, so they hardly count. > Mackie came in. "Shhesh, what now?" he asked. > Sylia's home... > Sylia turned on the tracker and then activated all off the Sabers' beepers. > A.D.P. HQ... > Nene looked at the device. "Gotta go," she said. She then left. Dan: Her computer was left downloading the script for Episode II. The guy claimed it was the real thing. Natasha: Is this the one where Anakin's father turns out to be Dr Doom or the one where Boba Fett is played by Kevin Smith in a surprise cameo? > The Hot Legs Bar... > "Oh, shit," said Priss. "I'm gonna have to leave," Priss said as she was leaving. Dan [Random Band Member]: She does this every time. Rebecca [Ditto]: What was her excuse this time? Dan [Ditto]: Hair emergency. Rebecca [Ditto]: I'll buy that. > Hugh Geit... > Linna got in her car and left. "Better be good," she thought. > A few minutes later and at the Sabers' HQ... > The Knight Sabers were in their armor and were heading over there. "I think Genom's > after him," said Sylia. Natasha: He's Mint In Factory-Sealed Box. *Everyone's* after him. > "He destroyed six Voomers," said Linna. "So, it likely. Dan: They want to sign him for the football team for the Corporate Games. > A half-hour later... > Robocop replayed the memories of the encounter. Tsuneo: But this time, in stereo. > "There's the 'Voomer'. Get him." > The gun in Robo's left leg contains Trackers and the one he fired at Mason stuck and he > was tracking Mason. Rebecca: That's a great plan, provided Mason never takes his clothes off. Natasha: Well, according to this, he's currently sticking out of the side of Genom Tower. > Robocop lifted his head and saw the Knight Sabers in front of him. > He stopped and got out. "What do you want?" asked Robocop. > "We know Genom's after you," said Sylia. "Let us help. > Robocop sighed. "All right," said Robo. > To be continued... [The TV switches off] Voice: That's it for today. Next time I'll have the second part for you. Tsuneo [Dripping sarcasm]: What fun. I can hardly wait. Natasha: Is this where we gratuitously destroy the TV? Rebecca: Naw, this is only part one of a fic. Our etiquette says never destroy the TV unless it's the final part, or a one-shot. [Pause] Or unless Tango's here and he wants to. Natasha: Tango? Tsuneo: With any luck, you'll never find out. Natasha: I think I'll believe you. Dan: So, can we keep her? [Rebecca slaps him on the back of the head, metal hand again] Natasha: Do I get the job? Rebecca [Pulls out clipboard]: We'll have to see how you do on the second half of the fic. You did well on this half, and your previous experience and unofficial position of leader of the B-Team- Natasha: Which I don't remember- Rebecca: Which you don't remember gives you a few bonus marks. Natasha: Thanks, I think. Tsuneo: Personally, I'd recommend fleeing for your life, but... Dan: Naw, you're cool with us. Tsuneo: I was talking about from the voice, Dan. Dan: Oh yeah. Tsuneo: Idiot. [Rebecca stands] Rebecca: Well, I for one am out of here. What say we continue your employee evaluation at the pub. Natasha: I like that idea. [She stands.] Dan: Sure! [He gets up] What say I help you rediscover your past? Natasha: Dan, if it involves you, I don't think I want to know. [She leaves] Rebecca: I like her. I think she should get the job. [She also leaves] Tsuneo: Wait for me. [He leaves too. The screen goes blank] Dan: What'd I say? What'd I say? Voice: This will all end in tears. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@elmerstudios.com) & Jinas (jinas@elmerstudios.com) Dan and Tsuneo Tateo are copyright 1995-2001 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Natasha are copyright 1994-2001 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.elmerstudios.com All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, random DELTA Invasion Episode Generator and the Satellite of Rednecks in one spot. Rick's Pathetic Waste of Bandwith: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm Fighters Anthology .lib and mission files, utterly disturbing Nova Satori shrine, Osama Bin Laden's Camel, the AntiKevs and Fanfic Carp, all in one big steaming pile. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- > He switching hands in switched hands which he was holding he machine arm.