Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Episode 93 brings us the second half of BGCurse! Names not included, some editing required. Characterisation sold seperately. Bubblegum Curse is copyright Krimlin Bubblegum Crisis is copyright Artmic/Youmex. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette. A cardboard box sits by the bench, with the tattered remains of a plastic Christmas tree and pieces of tinsel sticking out.] [Dan and Rebecca are sitting on the couches. Maya suddenly enters, rather frazzled and disheveled looking, and shuts the door behind her.] Maya: Is Tango here? Dan: No. [Maya breathes a sigh of relief and wanders away from the door] Maya: That's good. Rebecca: What's the matter? Dan: How was your date? Maya: It wasn't a date. Rebecca: So how'd it go? [Maya sits on the forwards-facing couch next to Rebecca] Maya: It was basically a heavily armed, cross-country rampage. He took me to see his home town of Dudleyville. Rebecca: Dudleyville? Somehow I'm not surprised. Dan: I don't know what's scarier. Tango coming from somewhere, or Tango having family. Rebecca: But hang on, Dudleyville's miles away. Maya: I know. We managed to cross the continental united States in less than two days while being pursued by the police. Dan: What were they after you for? Maya: He held a car boot sale of assorted military "surplus" weaponry. Rebecca: Did you bring me a toy? Maya: No. Dan: Sounds like fun. Maya: No it wasn't. Imagine being locked in a moving vehicle for forty-eight hours with a delusional sociopath and see if you can have a good time. Dan: I get the picture. Maya: Still... He's kind of sweet, in a deranged way. Rebecca: You seriously disturb me. [Tango enters, carrying a can labeled "Biosludge." He downs its contents (a thick, glowing green liquid) in a single swig, then tosses the can away.] Tango: I'm here! Maya: Oh dear. Tango: So, did you have fun? Maya: [Nervous] Oh yeah, loads! Tango: Great! [He sits on the sideways couch, next to Dan] Tango: Maybe we should do it again sometime! Maya: Er, maybe not. I've got to wash my hair. Tango: When? Maya: Whenever. Dan: Say, if you two are ready, we've got fanmail to read. Tango: [Leaps up] Ooh! They like me! [They all cluster around the computer] Dan: It's from Evander on BGCurse > Hi again. > I just thought I'd say, nice MSTing of bgcurse. Only 1 problem. > >Rebecca: The Empress Shion? [A small portal opens above Rebecca and a > >wad of cash falls into her hands] >Tsuneo: I should have guessed. > Tsuneo, unless my memory mistakes me, wasn't actually there. hmm... Rebecca: Tango's presence causes fluctuations in the fourth wall of an estimated fourty-three miliglomps per footang. Maya: You just made that up to cover for sloppy editing. > Still, good work. Keep it up. > Evander Tango: Do I really do that? Maya: Oh, yes. Remember when that fire hydrant spontaneously turned into pink truffle sponge? Tango: That? That was just one of my display items. Maya: ...never mind. Tsuneo: This next one is from Sgt. Anjay, also on Bubblegum Curse. > Well hiya Elmer Studios Crew. I just read Bubblegum Curse part 1 > and I knew I had to coment on the BGC antics. And boy, was this a > goat cluster. I must say that the MST was quite hillarious and rarely > have I been more entertained reading something on a computer screen > while praying my platoon sgt was nowhere around. Dan: Something's allways cooler when you know you shouldn't be doing it. > Much hilarity in the midst of...er, not much of anything, really. Maya: Not really, no. > Nothing like 50 characters with no names. Tango: And yet I know them all. > And yet, somehow I'm more interested in > them than the named ones. Heck, I'm at least curious about who > they're supposed to be, which is more than I can say about the SIs/ > Avatars/???. Gotta say, that is an interesting loop; who's the more > contrived, super-agent boy or exactly-like-priss lass. Nothing like > a fic with an obnoxious male AND female uber-character. Rebecca: All of the above? > And now, I must as always coment on some particular parts... > >> Passing through the curtains, the person sits down at a table > >> in the center of the room. A fat bald man is already seated there. ] > >Rebecca: General Leonard! > >Dan: [General Leonard] Not now, I'm eating! > >Maya: When will he be finished eating? > >Rebecca: July. > Ha! An SC reference. Well done. Rebecca: Thankyou. > >> There is no one to fight or attack > >Rebecca: Menzenoberranzan the game? > >Dan: Super mega obscure. > >Rebecca: And hard to pronounce. > And I actually get it. Too scary. Course, it helps that I actually > happen to *own* the Menzenoberranzan game. Maya: I think you're about the only person in the world to. > >Rebecca: The Empress Shion? [A small portal opens above Rebecca and a > >wad of cash falls into her hands] > >Tsuneo: I should have guessed. > Should I bother to ask?? Rebecca: No. > >> [ The next day we see two figures zipping down the road on racing bikes. > >Rebecca: It's Scott and Rand. Those guys have been really hard up for > work. > lol, and this rounds out our Robotech reference quota for the day. > Thank you and come again. =} > >> I never had many friends when I was young. > >Dan: We're not counting the voices in her head then? > >Tango: Hey, don't knock the Voices. > Especially the ones hiring MSTers. Not to mention taking part in "Crisis > in Time", but we'll forget that last part, eh? o_- Rebecca: Assuming you meant "Chaos in Time"... no. I'm never forgoving him for that. > Well anyway, good job as always gang. Keep it up and I might just not go > too insane to be allowed out in public. Maybe. Hasta luego... > --Anjay Maya: Well, it seems that someone gets a laugh out of our pain. Voice: Good to see you're back. Rebecca: And hello to you too, One Point Naught. Maya: What have you got today? Voice: Since you asked, I've got the second chapter of BGCurse. Maya: Good, let's get right to it. [They resume their seats] Rebecca: [Whispered to Maya] You're awfully enthusiastic today. Maya: [Whispered to Rebecca] The less time I have to talk to him, the better. [The TV switches on] > [ At the Knight Sabers headquarters ] Rebecca: Bow chika wow wow. Dan: But only on pay-per-view. > SYLIA: Ladies, I'm sorry to call you on such sort notice but > we have a special job to do. Maya: [Priss] How special is that? Tango: [Sylia] Well, you remember the superboomer? Maya: [Priss] Yes. Tango: [Sylia] You remember the Christmas party? Maya: [Priss] Yes... Tango: [Sylia] You remember John Barren? Maya: [Priss] Yes? Tango: [Sylia] More. > [ Nene and Linna look a little upset while Priss just looks bored. Rebecca: [Priss] Come on, I wanna break something. > Nene is wearing her usual ADPolice uniform, Dan: As opposed to her unusual one, I guess. > Linna, an arobics leotard Maya: So she didn't even get time to change? > and Priss, her usual performing costume ] Rebecca: Please tell me she isn't wearing the fright wig, please... Tango: How come we get descriptions here but nowhere else? > NENE: I had to sneak off early, but if my chief catches me one more > time, bye-bye promotion.. Maya: Don't worry Nene, you won't get it anyway. > LINNA: Same here, I can't keep getting the other instructors to > cover for me. Dan: Didn't she say she had a nine to five office job in the last chapter? Rebecca: Well, she said she did. Tango: She's a nine-to-five office aerobics instructor. > PRISS: My agent can go screw himself for all I care. Rebecca: Looking at your agent in Crash, that's a distinct possibility. > But these pop-up meetings Maya: Pop-up meeting? Tango: If you pull the tab, Sylia's arm moves. > are really messing up my style! Rebecca: Don't worry, you don't have any. > NENE: Geez, what's with Priss? Dan: She's Priss. > LINNA: Don't bother her, she just a little tense. Tango: The word is bored. > NENE: Is is about that beautiful girl that just dropped Priss like > a bad habit? Maya: Just to make it as blatant as possible. Rebecca: [Linna] But she wasn't earning enough per year for me. Dan: I think they were talking about Sylvie. > LINNA: Quiet! Do you want her to hear? Besides Sylia's starting > the meeting. Maya: It actually started five minutes ago, not that you noticed. > SYLIE: I know this was a little unexpected but something very > important just came up. > > [ She switches on a viewscreen displaying a building ] Dan: A building "just came up?" That is important. Tango: This is a building. Are there any questions? > We have been commissioned to recover some archive tapes Rebecca: Archive tapes? It's 2033 and they're still using tapes to store data? > from > the old Genom Main office almost ten years ago. Dan: So why haven't we done it in the last ten years? Maya: Well they were all in primary school at the time. > The tapes are apparently the records of an old Genom > scientist, Tango: They're stored in a square room protected by Boomer Man. Rebecca: Was that scientist called Doctor Wiley by any chance? > Dr. Stingray, my father. Maya: Actually, Stingray didn't work for Genom. > NENE: Eh?! > PRISS: What?! > LINNA: It can't be! Tango: It's true, it's true. Dan: It's called inconstancy. > SYLIA: Apparently my father worked on pretty revolutionary > break throughs in cybernetics, even by today's standards. Rebecca: Yes, he invented the boomer. Everyone knows this. Your point? > Genom only acquired about 70% of his research. Dan: Which was enough to give them a controlling interest. Tango: But they didn't get the Bubble Lead. > But there is > a rumor there there remainder of his work is still hidden > away in his old office, Maya: Is that the one that burned to the ground? Just wondering. > along with his early logs. Tango: Except they were made of wood and burned down too. > In some later records my father mentioned that there was some > information he never reported with his work in Buma, Maya: The file that says "They don't work?" Rebecca: Where is Buma anyway? Dan: I think it's in south-east Asia. Tango: I thought it was a programming language, like Fjord. > becuase > he was afraid that it would make them into unbeatable killing > machines. Dan: Well, the funny thing is... > LINNA: Sylia, I can understand your concern, but why the sudden > urgency? Maya: [Linna] Why leave it to the very last minute? Rebecca: [Sylia] I, um, forgot. Sorry. > I know it's important but why does the reconnaissance have to be tonight? Dan: Who said anything about reconnaissance? Tango: I'll take "leaping to conclusions" for five hundred! > PRISS: Yeah, if the tapes have sitting there for at least five > years, Dan: Wouldn't they be awfully overdue? Maya: And where were they for the first five years? > they can just keep waiting 'til the dogs come home. Rebecca: That's cows. Your mixing metaphors. Tango: Dogs, cows, it's all quadrapeds. Why don't they just tape a bunch of kittens together? > NENE: Are you kidding? With that kind of information, every robot > designer with a junkyard is gonna want that data! Dan: So why haven't they been chasing after it for the last ten years? > Sylia's father was a genius in Artificial Intelligence. Maya: What is this, the all-understatement episode? Tango: He was a genius. He invented Hal. He created the harvester logic for Command and Conquer. > SYLIA: It's worse than that. Fuargo Rebecca: Fuargo? Who's he? Tango: He's a lab-grown cross-breed between Fargo and Fuago. > contacted me because another > group wanted to hire the Knight Sabers to recover the information. Dan: Did he mention who it was? Maya: Well, it wasn't the Men, it wasn't The Man and Rang, it wasn't the Bald Man, so I'll wager it was the Executives. Rebecca: So who does that leave, the Circle of Sequestered Magics? > PRISS: So, we'll just go in and get the tapes. Rebecca: Yeah, Priss wants those tapes back. Heaven help her if anyone gets *those* tapes. > And then we'll tell any one else who wants them to stuff it. Tango: She's got two words for 'em. > NENE: Priss! Use your brain for once! Rebecca: It's still in its shrink-wrap. > Genom usually keeps a pretty tight lid on any corporate secrets. Maya: Which is why they left them lying around for ten years. Thank you! > If some outside > agency found out about the tapes, chances are others already know > about them too. And I be they're making plans right this > minute to recover the data. Dan: In other words, all of last chapter has just been summarised. > SYLIA: Yes, that's right, Nene. Tango: [Chirpy] That's right, Nina! > But even so, we can't just rush in like a mad bull in a antique shop. Rebecca: Just to mix your metaphors some more. > We still have to make very quick but necessary preparations. Dan: This time, take your hardsuits. > I've already asked Raven to start implementing Stealth > devices for our Hard Suits and.. Maya: So the extensive modifications required to implement stealth technology are considered quick preparations. Rebecca: Don't you know, if you paint it black, it's stealthy. > MACKIE: Sister! > SYLIA: Mackie Dan: Where'd he come from? Rebecca: He was hiding under the coffee table. Dan: Any reason? Maya: Short skirts. Think about it. Dan: I've got to try that some day. > I thought I told you to work on those designs. Tango: [Mackie] I'm on my coffee break. Rebecca: [Mackie] Those Romulan cloaking devices are hard to install. > MACKIE: Big trouble! Dan: Stuff's happening! Tango: In this fic? Never. > A Buma attack... Maya: What a shockingly original plot developement. Rebecca: Up next, When Boomers Attack, episode 38. > SYLIA: We're going to have to ignore this one and hope the ADPolice > can handle it. Tango: It's sort of their job. > PRISS: Fat chance. > NENE: Hey! Stop picking on my team! Dan: No! Nene picks on them, for crying out loud. > PRISS: I said FAT chance, I wasn't making fun of the ADCops, just you. > NENE: That's better... HEY! Dan: She sounds just like us. Rebecca: Speak for yourself. Maya: He was. > MACKIE: GUYS!!! The Buma was last scene Dan: So... The boomer was in the previous scene? I didn't see one. > near the vicinity of Downtown Central... Tango: Where it can do the most damage. > near the old Genom Building! > PRISS: Great! Rebecca: [Priss] It's killing people, and it's good! Maya: It's where the plot needs to be. Isn't that convenient. > SYLIA: .... > Mackie, get the battle-truck ready with it's armaments. Dan: So he's going to fill it up with post-apocalyptic New Zealanders? Tango: Okay, but watch out for the guy on the chook-dung powered motorbike. Rebecca: Well that's obscure. > You're probably going need your own hardsuit. Maya: Not that he has one. Tango: You'll need it to punch through a boomer's armour like jelly. Dan: Well that was gloriously obscure. > Priss, Linna, prepare your Motoroids. Dan: [Priss] Boss, I broke mine. Rebecca: [Sylia] I should have guessed. > LINNA: Sylia, you sound like we're going to be going all out this time. > > SYLIA: I know, I just hope it'll be enough. Maya: Well if you knew how many there were, what type they are... > Let's go! Time's running out! We don't have time so > everyone will change in the truck. Rebecca: [Sylia] And just to be sure, someone punch Mackie in advance. > [ At the Genom Towers ] Dan: I still want to know where the other one came from. > EXECUTIVE: What's this?! Tango: I think it's called the plot, sir. Maya: Hang on, is that the Executive from before, or just a random Genom executive? This is where naming characters helps. > I thought the new Buma wasn't going to go > out on a rampage until next week for testing! Rebecca: So? They can still muck up on their own accord. > OPERATOR: It was sir, that one isn't one of ours! Tango: Oh, so it's one of those cheap Taiwanese knock-off boomers. > EXECUTIVE: WHAT?! > Get me the president. Dan: George Washington Jefferson the 31st? > [ Cut to the highway, an ADPolice car is roaring down the highway ] Rebecca: Like redshirts to the slaughter. > DISPATCHER: All available units report to downtown central. > Another Rogue Buma has been sighted. Maya: Another? Is that a different one to the one they've already got? > DAILY: What's the big rush, Leon? We always get Buma sightings. Dan: It's kind of their job and all. Tango: But it's during coffee and donut break! Rebecca [Leon]: I've got a big gun, and I'm damned if I'm not going to use it. > LEON: No, this time is different. Tango [Leon]: This time it's grape-flavoured. > The attack's near an old abandoned Genom building. Dan: Ze Spooky Varehouse? Rebecca: Either that, or any episode of Scooby Doo. > Something seems fishy here. Tango: Could it be the fish? > The timing's off too. We just had a major attack last week. > The Buma don't usually act up so soon after each other. Maya: Leon's started to set his watch by the boomer rampages. > DAILY: Whatever you say, Leon. I'll admit, it's never a dull moment with you. Rebecca: With Daley, you never know how to take that. Maya: But this is Daily, not Daley. > [ At a nearby bar, a woman observes the pandamonium as the ADPolice > tries to clear the locals out of the mad Buma's path. Maya: And die in droves. Tango: Hey look, it's trooper 28. > She shakes > her head and puts out her cigarette. Then unexpectly she starts > glowing, and then disappears into thin air ] Dan: Tech sergeant Chen finally figured that thing out. Rebecca: You don't want to see what she looked like at the other end, though. > [ In a secret headquarters ] Tango: Deep inside a hollowed-out volcano. Maya: Randomly changing scene as many times as possible. > MAN: Perfect. Five major players are responding. Dan: Five? Tango: Yeah, Flack Jack Monty finally made bail. Rebecca: [Man] Unfortunately, three of them responded "go away." > Even better than I hoped. Maya: [Man] Someone actually listened to me. > With this confusion you should have no trouble recover the real prize. Dan: Yep, it's going to be easy to get through all the shooting. > RANG: Yessir! Tango: [Rang] I'm going to go out and get killed, sir! > [ Nearby the KnightSaber truck is speeding down the street, > regretable ignoring stop lights and nearly running over some people ] Rebecca: These are the good guys, people. > MACKIE: And I just got my lisence last year... Maya: Heaven help us all, he's maturing. > I hope I don't get pulled over for a ticket. > > SYLIA'S VOICE: MACKIE! Keep your eyes on the road Dan: [Sylia] And off the secret camera! > and tell me when we're near the target. Rebecca: Are we there yet? > MACKIE: S..sure! > > [ Inside the truck ] Dan: Now this I wanna see. Rebecca: Of course, we can't go without our compulsory one-per-episode suiting up scene. > PRISS: Well if Mackie does get pulled over I'm sure you can help > him out with it, right you little hacker? > NENE: I don't know what you're talking about. That's so dishonest! > I'd never do a thing like that! Maya: Like breaking into the computer with a copy of Chief Todo's voice? Dan: [Nene] Well, besides that. Maya: Or hacking into the Neo-NATO military database? Dan: [Nene] And besides that. Maya: Or breaking into Genom so many times? Dan: [Nene] Alright already! > SYLIA: Pay attention! We only have time to go over this once! Rebecca: [Michelle of the Resistance] Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once. > [ Sylia literally rips off her dress to get into her hardsuit ] Dan: Alright! At last, fanfic with fan service! Rebecca: [Hits Dan with a cushion] You know, that could get expensive after a while. > LINNA: Sylia, calm down! That was a 200,000 Yen dress! 200,000! Rebecca: [Linna] And besides which, I wanted to rip it off! > [ To emphasize her point she raises her hand in a "two" position ] Tango: Well same to you too! > SYLIA: No time! Hurry up and get into your hardsuits! Maya: [Sylia] I've been telling you for the last five minutes! When are you going to do it? Dan: When she stops making a spectacle of herself. > Linna, Priss! You two and your Motoroids will take care > of any resistance. Rebecca: [Sylia] They'll be distracted when Priss' explodes. > PRISS: Gotcha. > LINNA: Understood. Dan: Righto. Tango: Wooble. > SYLIA: Nene, you're with me in the building. Maya: [Nene] No, I'm here in the truck. Rebecca: [Sylia] Hang on, so where am I? Dan: Priss' new home? > I'm going to need your help scanning for those records. > NENE: [ Nods ] Mm! Maya: True quality scripting here, folks. Dan: Hunh? Rebecca: Wha? Tango: Thing? Maya: Never mind. > SYLIA: Mackie, as soon as we all depart, stand by in the van as > close as the ADPolice will let you. Tango: Wouldn't they be a tiny bit suspicious if a huge armoured truck parks itself right near where the Knight Sabers are fighting? I mean, whenever I park my war wagon near a cult standoff, I always get asked to move. Maya: Probably because you try to hawk weapons to them. > If anyone needs any backup come in. Dan: Gee, what's Mackie going to do in a fight? Run away? Rebecca: He'll climb in his big-ass suit and fall on people. > Until then keep monitoring for any suprises. > MACKIE: Yes ma'am! > > SYLIA Everyone got it?! Tango: [Priss] What was the middle bit? Rebecca: [Sylia] Kill things. Tango: [Priss] Oh, I can do that! > EVERYONE: YOKAY! > > [ Genom Towers ] Dan: The really big room. > OPERATOR: Mr. Quincy is overseas on a business trip. Maya: Quincy on a business trip? Rebecca: Yeah, he's got a lot of important "business" in Las Vegas. > What do we do? Rebecca: Didn't he leave a designated representative behind? Tango: [Executive] Yeah, but you try to get a coherent answer out of Madigan. According to her, my name's Patrick O'Patrick. > [ His superior just stands there with his head bowed and eyes closed. ] Rebecca: I need to go, and I need to go right now. Dan: I shall start my mystical chanting. Bo-ring. Bo-ring. Bo-ring... > EXECUTIVE: I don't like this. Send out a team of Buma Maya: How can you have a team of one boomer? Tango: Maybe it's got multiple personality disorder. > and stop that renegade as soon as possible. > Whoever set this up must have some ulterior motives. Dan: Maybe it's the Man. You don't think he could be after the Thing you're after? Rebecca: Just to summarise: Genom is after something. Someone else is after it, and has hired someone who can teleport. Someone else has hired the Knight Sabers to go after it, but the Knight Sabers are going after it on their own accord. A boomer has gone rogue before it's meant to, which may or may not have been caused by one of the other parties. The Man, who might be Largo, and Rang are also after this, but are waiting for someone else to do something first. So what are they chasing after anyway? Tango: I think it's a Glazed McGuffin. Maya: In the meantime: Stuff. > But whatever they are, I want them stopped immediately. Dan: [Executive] I'm going to order people to do things without any reason why. > [ At the old Genom Headquarters, the rogue Buma is wreaking havoc > like only a Buma can. Tango: Or any other deranged autonomous mechanical killing machine. Or a union worker. Or my Aunt Edna. Rebecca: Tango has family. God, that's scary. Tango: My mother was a cold receptacle and my father was just a machine. > The ADPolice are suprisingly doing an effective job. Maya: That is surprising. Rebecca: They've only been decimated, not annihilated. > An ADPolice vehicle screaches to a stop as Leon jumps out ] Tango: But has forgotten to open the door. Don't you hate it when that happens? Dan: That's gonna leave a mark. > OFFICER: Detective, thanks for responding but it appears we have > things under control. Dan: I assume this a relative term here. > LEON: I can see that. Rebecca: Something to do with the pile of corpses. > [ A line up of ADPolice with assault rifles have managed to ground > the rogue Buma. Maya: A Boomer stopped by ADP officers with rifles? Where did they get it from, a Koopa fic? > The Buma backs off but then quickly fires a randomn > plasma blast from his mouth canon. Tango [Boomer]: Take that, you random bit of scenery. > The shot goes wild but the > resulting explosions sprays the area with shrapnel ] Rebecca: What kind of a wussy boomer is this? He should have wiped them out by now. > OFFICER: Oh Spit! Maya: Language, please! There are Leons present. > But we can still handle him! Dan: [Officer] It's cutting down our troops as I speak, but we're fine. > LEON: Yeah, tell me about it. [ thinking ] Something's wrong here. Rebecca [Leon]: Why am I wearing a tutu? > No rogue Buma on a rampage has ever been that easy to stop... Tango: Not that they seem to have even hurt it. > What the!? Dan: [Leon] Say... What? > [ Leon is interrupted as four airbound figures land in the midst of action ] > > SYLIA: Knight Sabers..Strike! > (author's note: I'm being VERY liberal here, Yes, I know it's not even > close to an accurate translation, but I like it!) Rebecca: Well Mr. authour, we'll have to take your word for it. Tango: [Authour] While I'm abusing my god-like powers, I think I'll eradicate Linna. Never liked her anyway. > LEON: Knight Sabers, and this time we DON'T need them. Dan: Famous last words. Maya: I think trooper 28 would object... if he still could. Ew. > There's more to this than meets the eye. Rebecca: Could that be... A robot in disguise? > [ Sylia and Nene fly off to the Genom building while Priss and Linna > transform their Motoroids back into MotorCycles ] Dan: We're in the middle of combat, so we're turning our machines into their least effective forms! Um... yeah. > LEON: I guess even the Knight Sabers realize they're not really > needed here... WHOA! Maya: I guess Leon spoke too soon. Dan: Nah, he's just "whoah"-ing for no good reason. > PRISS: No problem! We can handle one Buma easy. > We don't even need the MotoSlaves... Tango: [Priss] Don't mind us, we're going to stand out in the middle of the battlefield and make ourselves as vulnerable as possible. > LINNA: Priss look out! > > [ PRISS is knocked over by a nearby explosion. Nearby SIX Buma are > hovering in a triangle formation ] Maya: So where did they come from? Are we expected to believe that six boomers were just standing around but no-one noticed? > PRISS: K*SO! Dan: Um... Tango: Well Percent Sign Ampersand Dollar Sign you! Maya: What are you doing? Tango: I'm swearing in longhand. Rebecca: Well, Trp[ you, Priss! > LEON: Now things are getting interesting. > > [ Nearby, the crowds are watching the action as close as they are > allowed, Rebecca: [Crowd member] Let's see if we can get hurt in amusing ways! Dan: [Crowd member] Stuff our own safety, we want to see some action! > forsaking any concern for their own safety, talk about > curiosity killing the cat. ANY-WAY... Dan: I'm amazed. Even the authour's lost the plot. > A motor bike roars in stopping just outside the crowds ] Tango: The Undertaker's back! > SYLVIE: Damn Rubber-neckers! Took me forever to get here. Maya: You know, other drivers do have a right to be there. > Blast, it's already started! I've got to get in there now! Rebecca: [Sylvie] I want to get massacred too! > OFFICER: Ma'am, I'm sorry but all personnel and vehicles are > prohibited beyond this point. I'm going to have to ask you > to shut off your engine or turn around. > > SYLVIE: You've got to be kidding me. [ takes a look at his armaments ] > Give me your bullets. Tango [Sylvie]: These aren't the droids you're looking for. You may go about your business. Move along. > OFFICER: WHAT? > [ She flicks something at him, it flies by faster than a bullet and > cuts through his helmet just missing his scalp. ] Maya: Oh, so we're back to throwing random nothings all of a sudden, are we? > SYLVIE: Give me your bullets or it'll be your throat the next time. > > OFFICER: Y..yes Ma'am! Dan: There's this little thing called training, but I guess he's never heard of it. Tango: It must be security officer Barney! > [ After recover the officer's bullets, Sylvie starts throwing them > nearby the crowd, causing small but effective explosions. Dan: So... she throws bullets... and they suddenly explode? Maya: I'd say it's just randomly contrived superpowers. Nothing to worry about. Rebecca: At least she didn't try to riff "The Iceman Cometh." > Nothing like a good explosion to disperse a crowd ] Tango: Or to disperse body parts. > SYLVIE: All right! One side! Back off, people! Coming through! Maya: [Sylvie] I've got no authority to yell at people, but what the hey. > [ Genom Tower ] Dan: Singular. Tango: Yeah, what did happen to the other Genom tower? Rebecca: Your eyesight cleared up. > EXECUTIVE: What's going on there?! May: Very little, actually. > I thought your team would stop the rogue Buma and return? Maya: Yeah, but they wanted to stop and get a burger on the way back. > OPERATOR: Well sir, something came up. The Knight Sabers have > arrived on the scene and... > EXECUTIVE: And...? Tango [Executive]: They're distributing Mad WareZ RomZ! Rebecca: Where'd you learn to speak Haxor-speak anyway? Tango: I'm a Haxor king. I've Haxored open my head, my spleen... > OPERATOR: All official Genom Combat Buma Maya: All one of them. > in Mega-Tokyo have Tango: Intel Inside! > the Knight Sabers listed as primary enemies in their defense programs. Rebecca: Secondary enemies are mimes, Independent politicians and small hairy yipping dogs. > It's part of their standard programming. Dan: I thought it was removed after the beta version? Maya: Don't worry. They'll fix it with the next upgrade patch. > They wil engage the Knight Sabres in combat on sight. Tango: Or smell! Priss needs to wash more often. > EXECUTIVE: Can't you override the programming? Dan: That's easy. All you have to do is put in the service disk. Of course, putting it in the Boomer is the fun part. > OPERATOR: Not remotely from this console. Maya: We have to write away to management, and it might take up to six weeks to get a reply. > These Buma have a simple seek and destroy programming. Tango: Crush... kill... destroy... > We had to send them out so > quickly we didn't have time to give them a more advanced control > system. Maya: My bad. This is the Beta version. > EXECUTIVE: I didn't want to intensify the situation any further > but I suppose this is for the best. Rebecca: If that fails, you could stick your head in the sand. > Perhaps we'll > even get lucky and eliminate one of the Knight Sabers. > > OPERATOR: There's another problem, sir. We rushed the Buma out so > quickly, we left the official Genom brand seal on them. > EXECUTIVE: WHAT?! Maya: It's not like that's a problem. Who else but Genom would be building combat boomers? Tango: This city-wide destructive rampage bought to you by Genom. We're not all bad, you know. > OPERATOR: They were originally going to be sold commercially to the army. Rebecca: Then congress cut funding, and they were left with several hundred unsold boomers lying around. > EXECUTIVE: Then anyone who examines the remains of the Buma will > know that these Buma that are rampaging within > public city limits are offical Genom products instead > of some third party vendors! Maya: Oh come on! Who else would it be building them? > Do you know what this will do to Genom credibility?! Dan: Fortunately, you don't have any. > OPERATOR: Maybe they'll win? > EXECUTIVE: We're talking about the Knight Sabers. > OPERATOR: So maybe they won't Maya: Obviously their SPVKS isn't high enough. Rebecca: Well that was certainly obscure. > [ At the battlesite the battle is escalating. Tango: Then the escalator broke down, and they were stuck there for hours waiting for the escalator repair man. > The Buma team are eligned Dan: Eligned, eligned... I don't think that's a real word. Tango: I was eligned once. It was curiously refreshing. > in a tight firing position keeping Priss and Linna pinned. The only > relief they have is by using Linna's MotoSlave as a shield, Maya: Hey look... They're breaking Linna's Motorslave for a change. > although now it's shape is more like a totalled racing bike. > Several ADPolice Officers lie wounded by stray shots. Dan: Only wounded? There are some seriously weak boomers. > Leon is > screaming in the radio of one of the ADPolice cars that haven't > gone up in smoke yet. ] Rebecca: You know, the ADP should just wreck their cars in the carpark and be done with it. > LEON: I said we need backup! No, it's not just one Buma! Tango: Say, what is the plural of "Buma" anyway? > Does this sound like we have things under control!? Tango: I don't know, I can't hear you over the screaming and destruction. > I don't care! Send three more squadrons! Rebecca: [Leon] And donuts with sprinkles. I'm hungry. > And a LX-16 Mobile Armor Dan: The ADP have Mobile Armours? Rebecca: Knowing the ADP, the only MA they'll get is Zakrello. > here, now! > What do you mean shipping hasn't got it in stock? Maya: No, come on. Even the ADP aren't this incompetent. And I know that's a stretch. Dan: Why don't they just use a K-17? Or a K-12? Or a K-11? Heck, why not even a Kumo? > I checked it personally yesterday!... Maya: He consulted the FedEx web site. Dan: No, really, we meant for it to arrive today. No, we didn't plan on sending it via Murmansk this time. > LINNA: Still think this is a piece of cake, Priss? > PRISS: Shut up and cover me while I combine with my MotoSlave! Rebecca: You know, that sounds really dirty coming from Priss. > [ Priss combines with her Typhoon II MotoSlave ] Rebecca: And forms Victory Priss Saber! Maya: If Tsuneo was here, he'd hit you. > PRISS: All right! Let's go! > > [ Priss blows one of the Buma Rebecca: Yeah, I figured Priss would feel like that about machines. > right out, but another then rushes her and even catches her off guard. Dan: Oh I see, someone turned down the Priss bot's alertness. > Linna slams it with her Knuckle Bomber > and Priss finishes it off by tearing it apart with her bare > MotoSlave's hands. Maya: Oh yes, I see it was really worth worrying about those boomers. > But the victory is short lived as the remaining > Buma take up their positions and open their chest cavities > revealing a wide variety of canon arrays. Tango: So they've got a printer, scanner and digital camera ensemble? > The intense fire power > they lay down is enough to knock both Linna and Priss for a loop ] Rebecca: If they hit. Whoops. > PRISS: What's with these guys?! What does it take to stop them?! Maya: A fairly forceful sneeze should do the trick. > LINNA: They're different.. They're actually using teamwork! Dan: Oh, so they're like normal boomers then? Tango: No, Steve Polge programmed these boomers. > MACKIE'S VOICE: Priss! Linna! Come in! Maya: Mackie's voice? Is that anything like Magic Voice? Voice: What? Not me! > PRISS: Not now, Mackie! We're a little busy now! Rebecca: That's why he's watching. > MACKIE: Priss, you've got to listen! Tango: That would be a first. > The Buma is getting ready to explode! Dan: Well that was a thoroughly unexpected turn of events. Rebecca: But they didn't shoot this one. Tango: That's easy, just press the blue button. Maya: No, you just cut the green wire. It's always the green one. > LINNA: Which one?! Tango: [Mackie] The big metal one that's trying to kill you! Dan: Well that really helps. > MACKIE: The original rogue Buma! Sensors indicate that it's building > up a lot of power, like a bomb! Rebecca: Except bombs don't build up a lot of power. > It's going to explode! Tango: I was hoping something spontaneous yet not entirely unexpected like this might happen. Dan: I don't think we can rely on any more spontaneously combusting boomers. > PRISS & LINNA: WHAT?! Maya: He said it's going to explode. Listen once in a while. > [ True enough, the original rogue Buma has not moved since the > company of Genom Buma arrived Dan: So why haven't the Knight Sabers destroyed it? > but it's eyes blaze an unhealthy yellow ] Maya: I don't think I could describe any specific thing about a boomer as being "unhealthy." > [ Inside the Genom Building ] Rebecca: We interrupt this tense scene to bring you boring conversation! Tough luck! Dan: This is tense? > Nene: Sylia, I managed to download the Building's blueprints. Tango: [Nene] They seem to be drawn in crayon. > Once we find his main office, it should be an easy matter > to find any of his journal tapes. Maya: Unless he believed in security and didn't store them in his main office. > Sylia: I... remember... my father had a secret safe in his old office. Dan: It can't be that secret if you know about it. Tango: It's behind the really cheap picture of a yacht. > If his missing records are anywhere they will have to be there. > > Nene: This is as easy as pie! Tango: I dunno, I've had some pretty vicious pies in my time. > [ Nene walks into a room, immediately sirens start up and a defense > armament from the ceiling starts firing. ] Rebecca: "Defense armament?" Care to be any more vague? Tango: It might have been a gun. Possibly. > Nene: Whoops! Dan: Good job, Nene. No, really. Maya: That's the second last thing you want to hear your ally say. Rebecca: What's the last one? Maya: Oh- And nothing else. > Sylia: [ firing at the defense armament ] > Nene, how many times have I told you not to be over confident! > [ thinking ] Blast, I hope an outdated automated firing > system is as far as the defenses go. Dan: Hang on, didn't Nene get the blueprints? So wouldn't she know about the security system? Maya: She got them, she didn't necessarily look at them. Tango: Nah, she hasn't seen the special edition. Rebecca: So if this building's been a burnt out wreck, how come it's still got adequate power for computer systems and security devices? > [ Genom Towers ] Tango: Stately Wayne manor! > OPERATOR: Sir! Two Buma have just left enroute to the battle site! Dan: Any specific kind of boomers? You'd feel kind of stupid sending two coffee boomers into a battle zone. > EXECUTIVE: On whose order? > OPERATOR: It's in response to an automatic security system. > I'm tracing it to the old Genom Building. Maya: So not only is it still fully powered, but it's still got a functional direct link to the tower. Any reason why they abandoned it? Rebecca: Oh yeah? don't forget that the tower didn't exist when it was abandoned. > EXECUTIVE: Then someone has infiltrated one of our old offices. > What is going on?! Tango: Weren't you the guys who were after the "item" in that building? > OPERATOR: I have bad news sir. Maya: [Operator] The story's collapsing into a mess of inconsistencies, and there's nothing we can do about it. > Our first deployment of Genom Buma > will attack these two new Buma as soon as they enter the > battlefield. Dan: Since they're all your boomers, haven't you programmed them not to attack each other? Rebecca: And aren't they busy attacking the Knight Sabers? Remember that whole "primary target" mess? > EXECUTIVE: WHAT?! How can this be?! Dan: Through the miracles of bad writing. Tango: Well the ones on the scene are programmed with Windows, but the two arriving boomers are programmed with Linux. So of course, the Windows boomers will try to destroy them. > OPERATOR: You had us send out the initial team so fast we could only > install a simple attack program to destroy any other Buma not > belonging to their team. Rebecca: There's this little thing called an IFF code, you might have heard of it. > They'll think these two new Buma are more rogue Buma. > > EXECUTIVE: My head is starting to hurt. Maya: Executive, we feel your pain. > OPERATOR: It gets worse. Dan: [Executive] There's more? I knew I shouldn't have gotten up this morning. > Every Buma has a defense program that insures > the Buma's own survival by responding to any attacks to them, > even by other Buma. Rebecca: This brings "friendly fire" to a whole new level. Dan: This brings "incompetence" to a whole new level. Maya: This brings "PR disasters" to a whole new level. Tango: This brings back fond memories. > Once these two new Buma realize that > our Buma team won't stop attacking or respond to their > communication requests, they'll start fighting back and we'll > have a small Buma war on our hands. Dan: No, you'll have the end of Reservoir Dogs, but it's the same thing. Maya: That makes no sense whatsoever. Rebecca: It makes perfect sense, it's just completely stupid. > EXECUTIVE: I don't suppose you can do something to avoid this disaster. Tango: Control Break? > OPERATOR: Well these two new Buma do have an override code to alter their > commands, but I'll have to look it up. Dan: [Executive] So why haven't you? Rebecca: [Operator] We have to submit a written request to central command. It'll take at least six weeks to process. > EXECUTIVE: Well, what are you waiting for?! Search the database! > OPERATOR: Yessir! Tango: He might just find it some time before the heat death of the universe. > [ In the meantime Priss and Linna are still being pinned down by Buma > fire. ] Rebecca: Well that's their story, and they're sticking to it. > MACKIE'S VOICE: You're running out of time! That Buma is set to > blow any second now! > LINNA: Priss, we can't handle things here, we're losing control! Dan: So let's get this straight. The two combat-oriented members of the Knight Sabers, one armed with a Motorslave, can't handle a group of four nondescript boomers and one that's just sitting there? > PRISS: Can't the damn ADPolice do something to help?! Tango: Come on, what do you expect from them? > LEON: Daily! Where the heck is our backup?! > DAILY: They got stuck in traffic. > LEON: $%$^@@#$&!!!! Tango: And colon semicolon too! Maya: That's a no. > MACKIE: Guys! Radar shows two more Buma are on the way! > LINNA: We're going to need a miracle to get out of this! Dan: Watch, a miraculously stupid event is about to occur. > MACKIE: I'm on my way! > PRISS: She said "miracle" not martyr. Maya: Do they expect Mackie's going to just throw his life away? Rebecca: More of hoping. > LINNA: Priss! We need all the help we can get. Rebecca: So does this story. Tango: So what's that got to do with Mackie? > [ /Inside the Genom building Sylia and Nene eventually reach Dr. StingRay's Dan: Dig that crazy random capitalisation. > office. Sylia blows the door open and enters cautiously ] Tango: I'm going to blow up the door and be quiet about it! > SYLIA: His secret vault should be right here. Rebecca: What, right in the middle of the office? Not that secret, is it? > [ Sylia kneels down and and tears out a safe in the floor ] Dan: So much for caution. > NENE: This is so exciting! Maya: Only for you, Nene. > We're going to actually see pioneering > work in Buma technology and artificial brain synapse modeling. Tango: I never thought it was possible to use the word "synapse" and still sound like an airhead. > Your father was a real computer scientist, worthy of the name. Rebecca: What, Stingray? > SYLIA: These are his computer tapes. What do you make of them, Nene? Dan: [Nene] Well, I suppose I could build a house out of them, or use them as frisbees... Rebecca: I still can't believe that in the 2030s, people use cassette drives. > NENE: They seem to be in a standard archive format and the > encryption codes seems to be simple enough to solve. Maya: [Nene] And I can tell this just by looking at the casing. > There shouldn't be any problem retrieving the data. Dan: Now there's famous last words. Rebecca: CRC error. Please re-download file. You lose, sucker. > SYLIA: Wait, there's someone here. Tango: Yes, it's called Nene! > [ From the door, a woman in a brown business dress smoking a > cigarette glides in ] Rebecca: So the dress is smoking a cigarette? Maya: Oh look, it's Woman from the last chapter. > WOMAN: Thank you for your hard work, but I'll take those tapes now. Dan: Aren't we little miss polite? Hello, how are you, hand over the items or die, how's your mother. > NENE: You've got to be kidding! I don't know who you are but > you've just picked the wrong time for an office visit! Tango: Nene! Use your squeaky voice attack on her! > SYLIA: Careful, Nene. There might be more to her than meets the eye. Rebecca: So she's also a robot in disguise? > NENE: No problem, Sylia, I can handle her! Dan: You know, I remember saying something about famous last words. > Sensor scans don't detect any synthetic organs, she's no Buma. Maya: Then again, androids would be able to pass as humans by the same scans. Tango: All she needs to do is get them to take off their helmets and she's won. Piece of cake. > You there, Freeze! Keep your hands where I can see them! Tango: Come on out with your hands down and your guns up! Maya: Isn't that the wrong way round? Tango: No, that's my best pickup line. > SYLIA: This isn't an arrest, Nene. Dan: Well she can still tell someone to surrender. Rebecca: [Nene] Awww! But I wanna arrest someone! > WOMAN: I don't think so. > NENE: I'm warning you! Dan: Oooh, scary. I'm so afraid, my finger's quaking. > [ As Nene aims her small wrist canon at the woman. The woman just gives > her a cold smile. ] Maya: [Woman] somehow I expected them to immediately surrender. So much for plan A. Rebecca: [Woman] You are already dead. > NENE: My.. arm..! I can't control it! Rebecca: She learnt that excuse off Priss. > [ Nene's arm slowly comes to rests against her head ] Tango: The fiend! She's making Nene pat her head and rub her stomach at once! > SYLIA: Nene! > WOMAN: Bye-bye, Knight Saber. > NENE: SYLIA!!!!!! Dan: [Nene] Help! I'm being useless! No wait, that always happens. > [ An explosions rocks the viewer's field of vision. Maya: Down in front, I can't see a thing. > We change scene > to the outside battle where it's Buma against Knight Saber against Buma, > with an occasional innocent bystander or ADPolice Officer getting > caught in the crossfire. Priss has abandonned her MotorSlave due > to excess damage sustained on it. ] Maya: The only thing worse than a script-format fanfic is a half-script format fanfic with "direction notes." Tango: This boomer's taking an awfully long time to explode. > BUMA (of the original team of six): > Two more renegade Buma sighted. > Reinitiate original seek/destroy mission. Dan: [Buma] Break off what you're shooting at and shoot at something else. > MACKIE: I'm hit! I'm hit! I'm down! I'm down! > Help! Help! Rebecca: Well he really helped out. Tango: Are you kidding? He drew their fire! > PRISS: "We need all the help we can get", huh Linna? Dan: Yeah! If not for Mackie, those rounds might have hit either of you. > LINNA: I guess Mackie just learned it takes more than just a fancy new > hardsuit to be a Knight Saber. Rebecca: Mackie in a hardsuit? Please tell me this hasn't turned into "Tales of the Red Knight Saber" Dan: Given our latest arrival, it might just be. Rebecca: Great, I expect Nene to start pissing at Mackie any second now. > MACKIE: It worked for Nene-chan! Maya: And some fanboy Japanese thrown in too. This fic's getting worse by the second. > LINNA: Well I guess there's always an exception to everything. > PRISS: Both of you shutup and keep firing! Dan: Isn't that what executives say to the personnel department? > NEW BUMA (the newly arrived ones): > Alarm response program interupted by personal defense system. > Enemy files list first group of antagonists as Knight Sabers. > Second group of antagonists are standard Combat Buma. Tango: [Boomer] Data files cannot spell. > Buma are not responding to any known Genom coding protocols. Dan: Not that he's tried. > Conclusion: Buma are non-Genom reprogrammed enemies. > Response: Destroy all protagonists and respond to alarm trigger. Maya: So he's basically decided to do everything at once? > [ As the violence escalates, Sylvie has finally managed to arrive on the > scene on her motorbike ] Rebecca: You were only a few meters away flicking bullets at the crowd! What took you so long? Dan: [Sylvie] Parking in this city's a bitch. > SYLVIE: Finally got through. Looks like things started without me. Maya: [Sylvie] I've been watching it for about half an hour, but what the hey. > Well this looks like a good time to make a dramatic entry as any. > Hey all you bucket heads! Tango: Hey, I take that personally! > Heads up, here comes Shard! Rebecca: Oh, look! It's an obscure X-Men character! Dan: Does that mean she's gonna die? Please? > LINNA: Priss, what's the matter? Tango: She's caught in a crappy fanfic! Tsuneo: [V/O] Hey! > PRISS: Wait a minute, that woman on the motorcycle, it's Sylvie! Rebecca: Priss' love interest has appeared to complicate the situation! Maya: It'll probably be the other way around. > LINNA: Priss look out! > > [ Priss gets knocked down by a near hit from Buma fire. In the meantime, > Sylvie/Shard is engaging the Buma in combat. Small particles > spring from her fingertips traveling at speeds far faster than the > naked eye can see, Dan: So that would be the "object" she throws? Rebecca: Can we have some kind of explanation as to how she can do that? Please? > striking their targets (namely the Buma) Maya: As opposed to who, Daley? Rebecca: Are you kidding? Sylvie and Daley are good friends. They attended the same gay pride march. > with > deadly accuracy. The small missles strike the Buma in various > joints and other weak points, such as their eyes or their cannon > arrays just before they fire, causing more than just superficial > damage. Maya: So not only does she have incredibly contrived powers, but she's incredibly precise with said powers. Tango: Oh yeah? You should see her do an ice sculpture. > The Buma try their best to blow her away but she's just > too quick on her bike Maya: Oh, of course she is. Dan: You okay there? Maya: No. > as she easily swerves around the clumsy Buma laser onslaught. ] Rebecca: Clumsy? We're talking about precision-engineered killing machines here. > [ Back inside the building, Nene's body is lying prone, the side of > her helmet in a smoking mess. Rebecca: Is it wrong to cheer at this point? > Sylia is gently setting her body down. ] > > WOMAN: I'm impressed. Whoever you are, you make your armor very > well. It protected her from a point-blank shot from her own > wrist blaster. Dan: No, that's just because Nene's gun is pathetic. Rebecca: Nah, she just rolled a one to hit. > In any other armor she'd have a new > ventillation shaft in her skull Tango: A new one? Is there something about Nene we didn't know? Then again, it would explain a lot. > instead of just suffering > from a mild concussion. But she still might have a fracture. > > SYLIA: You Monster! Dan: [Woman] Yes, and I carry treasure type J as well. > [ Sylia raises her palm blaster to fire. Just before she does, her > hand closes into a fist. Sylia stifles a scream as she nearly blows > her hand apart. ] Rebecca: And you know, that's just gotta hurt. Dan: Not that it's actually her hand or anything. > WOMAN: Ah-ah-ah! Your friend didn't have much luck trying that, > what made you think you could do better? Maya: She's built on 75 attribute points, she can try. > SYLIA: My hand, I couldn't control it.... > Who are you?!... What are you? > Are you some kind of new Hyper-Buma model? > > WOMAN: Hardly, you cyberpunks are so limited, you think everything > boils down to something you can understand or analyze. Maya: Which is just a way of saying the authour can't and won't justify there being telekinetics in BGC. > But I'm one kind of opponent you can never hope to defeat. Dan: Goldberg? Tango: Depends, is that Scott Hall with a taser? > I am an Esper. All: DUM DUM DUM! > SYLIA: An E.S.P.er? Rebecca: You know... Kyrind Brandford, Locke Sommerville... > ESPER: That's right. Particlularly a telekinetic. Maya: Ever had a an overriding urge to annhialate Tokyo? > SYLIA: Let's see you stop this! Dan: The plot? Rebecca: Nah, that stopped long ago. > [ Sylia extends her blade and lunges at the Esper woman in hopes to > overtake her with a suprise attack. Tango: Which is why she said what she was going to do. > The Esper woman just yawns as Sylia is frozen in space. Dan: Damn hardsuit batteries give out at the worst times. > Then giving a malicious smile she sends > Sylia's body crashing into the ceiling, then bounces her across a > few walls before slamming her into the back wall with Nene. Maya: Rendering the Knight Sabres completely helpless and leading the fic to a confrontation between the two anachronistic psychics. Rebecca: But only on pay-per-view! > As Sylia's body falls to the floor the Esper lets out a malignant laugh ] Tango: She'd better see a doctor about that. If caught early, a malignant laugh can be treated. > ESPER: You didn't really think you had a chance, did you? Maya: [Bitter] Nah, she's just an original character. What can she do? > Your science and technology is no match against my paranormal > abilities. Now die! Dan: [Woman] I laugh at your puny attempts to harm me! Tango: [Darth Vader] the power of this battle station is insignificant against the power and majesty of the force. > [ The Esper lets out a wave of pure psychic force Tango: Accept no substitutes. > which collides with > Sylia. She lets out a scream as her faceplate smashes open from > the force. ] All: Aie. > [ Meanwhile back outside, Sylia's scream cuts through the area ] Rebecca: That scream could cut through Titanium. > SHARD: The Files! I have to get in there. > One side, slick! Dan: Does that mean she's going to blow up Will Smith? Rebecca: Please? > [ Shard revs up her motorcycle and somehow gets it shooting off at a > 45 degree angle from the ground. Maya: Don't try this at home. > She rams into a Buma sending them all crashing through to the second floor. ] Rebecca: So much for her bike. I guess that makes her even more like Priss. Dan: Is that possible? Rebecca: Only if she slept with Linna. > PRISS: Linna, hold the fort. I'm following Sylvie in. Rebecca: Any excuse to walk behind her. Dan: I'd do it. > I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Tango: What's the bet's it's all Quincy in a monster costume scaring everyone away from his record pirating business. > LINNA: Priss, wait! wait! Oh rats, how am I supposed to defeat a > whole company of Buma by myself?! Rebecca: Start a rumour about toasters that will cause their share value to plummet. > Sigh, this is going to be some workout. > > [ Inside the Building ] > > ESPER: The files are all mine. Dan: ESPER? Who's that? Maya: Oh, it's The ESPER Formerly Known As Woman. > [ The tapes slowly levitate and start moving toward her outstretched > hand. Tango: You can't just pick it up like a normal person. Rebecca: When you've got power, flaunt it. > But then one of the wall smashes in breaking her > concentration, the tapes fall to the ground near Celia's Maya: Sylia's evil twin. > unmoving form. Rebecca: [Sylia] Well, I have no further part to play in this. I guess I'll go organise my stamp collection. > A young lady emerges from the dust and debris of a crumbled wall, Maya: Is this anyone in particular? Tango: No, just a random young lady. Rebecca: and here was me thinking it was actually going to be Young Lady. > a totalled racing bike and a now a disfunctional Buma ] Dan: A dysfunctional boomer? Does that mean it's getting its own sitcom? > SHARD: Now this is what I call a dramatic entrance. Tango: Where's her music? Where's the lighting? Where's the glittery stuff falling from the roof? Where's the slow-motion white dove flying past? > ESPER: YOU! > SHARD: What are ou doing here?! > > ESPER: Same thing as you are, Shard. Performing a job. Maya: Right, so these two have encountered each other and presumably know their names and abilities. So can we *please* have some kind of backstory here? > SHARD: The Stingray Tapes. Tango: At the adults only time of nine thirty. > I should have figured there would be > more than one power hot to get their grubby hands on those > Logs. Maya: [Esper] And why are you here? Dan: [Shard] Me? I'm representing a power hot to get their grubby hands on those logs. > ESPER: You know my power is much greater than yours. Rebecca: [Esper] I'm built on seven hundred points and you're not! > Just walk away and let me have the tapes and you'll live > another day longer. Tango: Just one more? Doesn't sound like much of a deal to me. > SHARD: Sorry, Sliver, you know I can't do that. A job's a job. > Besides, you've never been able to kill me before. Dan: Not that she's tried. Maya: I don't know, these two could have been blazing battles across the globe for all we know. Rebecca: Yeah, but often the Circle or the Conclave will intervene. > SLIVER: That's because I felt some misbegotted feelings of filial > loyalty for you. Maya: Filial? right, so they're sisters then. Thank you for a tiny smidgen of information, fic. > You were lucky I was in such an amiable mood. Good-bye. Dan: [Shard] Your overconfidence will be your undoing. Rebecca: [Sliver] And your faith in your friends shall be yours. > [ A wave of telekinetic force sweeps toward Shard. [They all do the Mexican Wave] > But the second it strikes her position she's gone. ] Tango: Only to re-appear on the other side of the screen. Rebecca: Good thing the Plot's apparently on Shard's side. > SLIVER: Blast! Where did she go?! Dan: Brazil. Now what are you meant to do? > EH?! Maya: So Sliver's Canadian now or something? > [ Particles almost inconcievably fast hurl toward Sliver. Dan: Inconceivable! > But before > these particles can strike her, they explode about a foot away from > her. ] Rebecca: Up next on Fox: When Friction Attacks! > SLIVER: Shard, you should know by now your ability to accelerate > objects Maya: So what's she actually projecting then? Dan: You know, objects. Maya: Objects like? Dan: Well, objects obviously. Maya: Ah. Rebecca: You couldn't have accelerated the story for us? > can never penetrate my shields. Tango: They have to take out the generator on Endor first. > SHARD: And you should know I'm much too fast for you to get a lock > on with your power. Maya: This is just an exposition conversation with added attack powers. Dan: Lock on? Can't she just blast away? Tango: These are target-seeking superpowers. Rebecca: And can't she just fill up the screen with attacks? Tango: She needs to build up a full gauge first. > SLIVER: Ah, but you'll eventually tire and get careless. One slip up > and you'Il look like one of your own victims. But I can > safely blanket myself with my Power. Maya: Until of course you get tired and slip. Dan: So she's just going to switch on her shields and squat there? > SHARD: Oh really? Try this! Maya: [Shard] It's a wonderfully modern dress that I think will suit you just perfectly! > [ Shard throws a long thin object straight at Sliver's heart. > WIth a glare Shard stops in mid-air ] > > SLIVER: Your diamond tipped file? Tango: Those must cost a fortune. > I may not be able to destroy it like your steel ball bearings, Dan: So her tiny invisible projectiles were just ball bearings? > but I can neautralize it's motion...ARGH!! Rebecca: Neutralise this. > [ She holds the back of her head as blood flows freely from a spot ] Maya: Um... What happened? Rebecca: I think that means the back of her head's bleeding... Then again... > SHARD: But you should be careful to watch your back. I bet you > didn't see me bounce that coin off the wall behind you. Maya: [Shard] And by explaining it to you, I've guaranteed you can defend against it next time. > But it is kind of hard to see an object moving faster than > Mach 3. Dan: It'd be impossible to react to, but she does it anyway. Rebecca: you couldn't bounce it at that speed, it'd just go straight through the wall. > SLIVER: You...! Tango: You spoony bard! > [ Sliver causes the ceiling on top of Shard to collapse, but Shard > has already changed postion ] Rebecca: Is this just going to be all attack - dodge - attack - dodge? Can't we have some real action here? > SLIVER: You're running out of places to run to, sooner or later > you'll make a mistake and stip your gizzards inside out. Maya: Stip? How does one stip their gizzards? Tango: Oh, that's easy. You just- Maya: No, thanks, I'm fine without knowing. Tango: It's no trouble. Maya: No. > SHARD: Maybe. And maybe you'll win the Miss Congeniality contest. Rebecca: [Sliver] Well, I was voted Miss Whimsy 2030. > PRISS: Sylvie! What's going on?! I want answers! Dan: I want to know where Priss came from. Tango: And what she's been doing for the last five minutes. > SLIVER: Sylvie?! Who's Sylvie? > > SHARD: Sylvie? How do you know my alias? Dan: Well who else would be wandering around dressed like the Blues Brothers in the middle of the night in MegaTokyo? > The only ones who would know would be the people at the Hot Legs bar... Dan: [Shard] And the Godfather and his other Hos. > PRISS: Huh?! All: Acting! > recognize me. If she puts two and two together Rebecca: She hasn't come through the American public school system. > I may have just blown my secret identity...> > > SLIVER: Chance! Dan: Is that line meant to actually mean anything? > [ She lets another wave of telekinetic force loose and this time it > hits their targets. Both Priss and Shard get hit and get thrown > against the wall before collapsing ] Rebecca: [Priss] This is a familiar situation. Maya: [Shard] Come here often? > SHARD: Great, the first time in five years I get distracted... > Hey, you're one of those armored Femme Fighters, > a Knight Saber, aren't you? Tango: Let's see, woman in hardsuit, gee who else could it be? > PRISS: Yeah... > > SHARD: As the official mercenaries of Mega-Tokyo, Rebecca: Official? What, do the Knight Sabres need some kind of license? > I should have expected to run into you. Maya: So why didn't she expect it? Dan: Um... Maya: So she's been surprised again? Dan: D'oh! Maya: So much for her reputation... Not that she had a reputation... > Anyway the major point right now > is that lady over there isn't very nice, is very powerful, > isn't going to let us live, Tango: Not even if you ask nicely? > and is against the both of us. Dan: [Priss] Both of us? I don't know her. Bye! > How about we join forces to take her out, purely from a > self-preservation point. We can work out the rest of the > details later. Rebecca: [Shard] After I've stabbed you in the back. > PRISS: But, that blow, I'm wearing armor and and it nearly finished > me. You shouldn't even be able to move. Maya: [Shard] Ah, but the writer's on my side! > SHRAD: Don't worry about me, I can move pretty fast. I managed to > avoid the main brunt and only got a glancing blow. Dan: You still got hurt. > You take her from the front and I'll take her from behind. Tango: Cause you're not the authour-created character, and thus aren't good enough to do anything. > If we're > lucky one of us will distract her enough for the other to > weaken her defenses. Maya: And what's Sliver doing, just letting them plot against her without pressing her advantage? > SLIVER: Now, DIE! Rebecca: Guess she was just having a rest break. > PRISS: Here I go! > > [ Outside, Linna is getting her butt kicked. Dan: [Linna] Well this is a very familiar situation. Tango: So Linna can't even take on a batch of squabbling generic boomers? Maya: It's like I've said, she's an original character so she's useless. > A near-hit from a plasma blast causes her to stumble backwards. Rebecca: [Angry] Next thing you know, she's going to scream and twist her ankle. Dan: Come on, this fic's not being sexist. Maya: No, it's being authourist. > As she tries to catch her breath, the remaining Buma encircle her. Tango: They've clearly given up beating on each other. Rebecca: No, it's just one boomer. Although how he can encircle her is anyone's guess. Dan: Maybe it's a very fast boomer. Maya: You know, I seem to remember something about an exploding boomer. Tango: So? > Linna looks around to see that she's cornered. ] Tango: So she's surrounded and cornered? When she messes up, she messes up good. > LINNA: Alright you sorry pile of bolts, it's just all of you and me! > You think you've got me outnumbered? All: Yes. > You think you've got me outpowered? All: Yes. Dan: What, is she breaking into poetry now? > You think you've got me trapped? All: Yes. Rebecca: Is she trying to take over their mass mind? > Wait till you see my Flashdance! Tango: I've seen that movie. It sucked. Maya: So Linna's going to dance her way out of trouble? Rebecca: She'll triumph trough the power of improvisational dance! > [ Fire seems emanate from her eyes Dan: Uh, Linna? you should do something about that. > as Linna steels her nerves and charges straight into the midst of the Buma. Tango: And is promptly shot. The end. > She dodges every laser blast, sidesteps every punch Rebecca: So how come she can dodge everything, but before she was getting the smack laid down on her? Maya: She's doing her limit break. > while executing her counterattack with an amazing grace and beauty. Tango: Must be her stunt double. > As Linna's knuckle > bombers blaze into a firing pattern of breathtaking fireworks Maya: Are they meant to do that? Dan: No. > and her laser tassles whipping into a slicing frenzy, Rebecca: It slices, it dices, it even makes three different types of French Fries! > she almost seems like a > work of art, a fluid exercise of human soul, a celebration of life, > a dance, a Flashdance. Tango: That's touching. I think I may vomit. > Scenes switch as Priss and Shard launch their assault on Sliver, > Priss bears the brunt of her attack Dan: I get it, Priss distracts Sliver while Shard laughs at her grisly demise. > while Shard disappears to > attack Sliver in a more vulnerable position. Maya: I presume that doesn't mean sliver just made herself more vulnerable on purpose. > Sliver's next > telekinetic burst nearly fries all of Priss's systems Rebecca: So what, she uses telekinetic EMP? > but she refuses to give up and presses on. ] > > [ BGC Chorus ] Tango: Please no! Not another song! Dan: When in doubt, sing! Rebecca: Can we fast-forward this? Voice: No. > Like a swan, flying free > Through the air, soaring high > All I am, I leave behind > As the music fills my life Tango: It doesn't even rhyme. It's just random. > Close my eyes, whisper love > Feel the wind, through your arms > And my mind, lifts above > to the clouds Rebecca: The view from up here is unbelievable. Dan: I see a bright light... > Oh What a feeling All: [Bored] Toyota. > [ I can feel it happening! ] Tango: I can feel my lunch churning. > I can't believe it > [ I am driven now! ] Dan: To the funny farm, maybe. > All that would hold me and chain me > and stop me is gone now Rebecca: Gravity, you suck. > so I'm dancing for my life Tango: And our gradual demises. > So take your passion > [ I am holding you! ] > Set me free Dan: If you love something, set it free. Tango: And if it comes back, staple it to your keister. > [ I am flying now! ] Dan: I can see my house from here... > I am moving and spinning Tango: I want to throw up. > and laughing and crying > And I'm dancing for my life > Oh what a feeling.... All: TOYOTA! Rebecca: Um... Maya? are you still there? Maya: [Snaps awake] What? Sorry, didn't hear you. Dan: You slept through all that? Maya: I tried. > [ Outside Linna managed to destroy all but two Buma. Tango: Yeah, but you should've seen the one that got away! > But her victory has taken a toll. Dan: It messed up her hair. > She is badly injured and laser burn marks cover her body. Maya: So much for amour. Rebecca: On the other hand, she's going to have a killer tan. > She tries to avoid the blast but the Buma hits his > target. Linna falls to the ground, with no more strength left to > get up. Dan: [Linna] Ow. I'm in horrendous pain and agony. I sure hope there's a horribly overpowered original character along to save me. > The two Buma close in for the kill. ] Tango: Unfortunately, they've used up all their ammo and have to beat her to death with a feather duster. > LINNA: Oh well, at least I'm going out in a big bang. Rebecca: [Linna] Although I would have preferred a big bang with Priss. > I wonder if anyone will write poetry about me? Maya: You're about to die and you're worried about poetry? You need to get your priorities straight. Tango: [Linna] I hope one of the other aerobics instructors can cover for me. > [ As the Buma start tagetting Linna for the killing blow, Dan: So they're setting a Scottisah police officer on her? > an explosion suddenly rocks them. ] Maya: Did that boomer that was set to self-destruct *finally* go off? > LINNA: Who? Priss? Mackie? Dan: Darkwind? Kyrind? Skyknight? Takie? > LEON: ADPolice at your service, ma'am. Rebecca: [Linna] wow. Saved by the ADP. I've sunk about as low as I can go. Tango: Could have been worse. Could have been saved by Daley. > Our new KX-17 battle armor can handle anything. Dan: Except for other battle armours, boomers, beauracracy and little old ladies. > Tango: Go on, just blow 'em up! You're the police! > LINNA: Officer... > LEON: Oh c'mon. After all we've been through, I think you can call > me "Leon" now. > LINNA: But... > LEON: Or "darling" if you prefer... Maya: At least Leon's being properly portrayed. Rebecca: Go on Linna, shoot him. You know you want to. > LINNA: One of the Buma's still operational! Dan: Good ol' Leon can still miss the blatantly obvious with style. > LEON: Wha..ulp! > > [ Leon gets blindsided with a damaged but still functional Buma. > They both go down as they start wrestling with each other. ] Tango: Ironically the boomer is carrying the match. > MACKIE'S VOICE: Linna! You've got to move! Rebecca: [Linna] Gee Mackie, I never would have guessed. > LINNA: Mackie? Where are you? Maya: [Mackie] You fell on top of me. Not that I mind. > MACKIE: I'm still in my hard suit. I'm too hurt to move. Dan: Hey Mackie, have you tried pressing the "on" switch in that thing? > LINNA: Same here. Do you know how the others are doing? Rebecca: They're definitely there. Maya: Don't you have more pressing matters to worry about? > MACKIE: Never mind that! That Buma, the one with the time-bomb, it's > going to blow in five seconds! > > LEON: Blast, this is a stalemate. We're totally even. Tango: Except they have a big-arsed bomb that you can't do anything about. > I got this Buma pinned down but I my hands aren't free to > do anything else. What else can happen. Maya: A ridiculously overpowered original character shows up and saves the day? > [ The Buma is locked in a wrestly hold with Leon. Dan: So is Tony Schiavone writing this now? Rebecca: In layman's terms, that's a bearhug. > It looks straight at Leon and then opens his mouth cannon. ] > > LEON: Oh Shoot..! Rebecca: Actually, you don't want it to. > [ Back in the building, Priss is trying to advance on Sliver but is > being slowly forced back. Bits and pieces of her hardsuit are > crumbling away. ] Dan: Not that I'm complaining, mind. Tango: The hardsuit's crumbling? Do they do that? Maya: Normally no, but never mind. > SLIVER: Give up, you can never hope to defeat me! Tango [Boris]: I am inveeencible! > PRISS: N..E..V..ER! Dan: Priss never was the spelling bee. > SHARD: You should always watch your back, Sliver. Maya: [Shard] I'm going to warn you before striking, thereby surrendering the element of surprise. Yes, I am a moron. Tango: [Shard] But I have super powers, so nyeah! > SHARD: [ looking behind her ] > Fool, I'm equally protected from all sides! Dan: Wait a sec... Did Shard just warn herself or something? > [ Then the floor beneath Sliver explodes, breaking her concentration. > Shard emerges from the hole and flings a horde of super-velocity > debris at her. Rebecca: So shard warned herself then burrowed under Sliver while... Aargh, I've got a headache. > Sliver regains her control to stop most of them but > a few strike her. But then she forgot about Priss who managed to > let in a good punch. Sliver coughs up blood. ] Tango: Gasp! Priss did something! > PRISS: Gotcha! > SLIVER: I'm not finished yet... Dan: [Sliver] Wait for death in eighteen years. Rebecca: I'm not dead yet! I'm getting better! > SHARD: I just want to remind you you've got about five ounces of > wooden splinters in your body. Maya: And? Your point? Rebecca: [Shard] Oh nothing, just thought you'd like to know. > SLIVER: You think you've won this round, don't you? Dan: Well she's got more on her life bar and the counter's about to stop. > But it's not over yet. I'll be back to dance over your corpses. > [ She just disappears and teleports away ] Tango: Wuss! Come back here and fight like an anachronistic telekinetic! > PRISS: What did she mean by that? Dan: She means that she's going to kill you, you dope. Maya: It means we get a sequel. > SHARD: That's just Sliver being melodramatic. Rebecca: And quoting just about every hack villain out there. > PRISS: Wait, outside. There seems to be some sort of huge energy > buildup... Lookout! Dan: Would that be that good ol' self-destructing boomer? All: NAH! > [ A deathly white flash envelops the entire area as every thing > disappears in a blazing snowy haze ] Tango: Wow. No reason, just wow. > [ The next day the sun is shining brightly, the trees stretch forth > with their branches full of fresh green leaves and the birds > are gliding through the sky singing a sweet tune. Tango: Tweet tweet! SPLAT! Sqawwk... > We also see Daily bandaging Leon's forehead in the midsts of > demolished streets, overturned cars, devalued building property > and masses of wounded personel, both civilians and ADPolice > officers. ] Dan: So much for your nice, pleasant day. Maya: So they've been sitting out here in the rubble all night? Rebecca: Yeah, well, where else are you meant to go? > LEON: Man, look at this place, it looks like an earthquake hit it. Tango: I mean, another earthquake. Rebecca: I dunno, a little paint, some wallpaper, this place could look really nice. > DAILY: Hold still, you're lucky you only got your hair singed by that Buma. Dan: So Daley's bandaging his hair? > A few more inches and you would really have only half a brain. Tango: Fortunately Leon would have lost the half he thinks with, so he'd be fine. > LEON: No sign of the Knight Sabers? Dan: They got going while the getting was good. > DAILY: None, after that explosion everyone was blind for at nearly > 15 minutes. Maya: Just blinded? Why did a flashbang take so long to power up? Tango: The boomer only had a pair of double As. > Amazingly no physical or permanent damage was done. Rebecca: Apart from Ramiel's carcass squatting over there. > Even all the Buma remains were swept clean. Tango: Self-cleaning boomer. Leaves only the fresh scent of pine. > And Genom had their old building holed up and off limits before the > emergency medical teams came on the scene. Dan: of course, why they didn't do that all those years ago to get that data they're so preciously after? > LEON: Ever get the feeling that you're watching a movie mystery > but miss the ending? > DAILY: I feel more like the murder victim, nothing made sense. Dan: Well it doesn't really matter to the murder victim since they're dead. > LEON: Something happened here, but I guess we'll never know exactly > what. Tango: That's easy, a crappy fanfic. > [ At Celia's office, Dan: Celia? Who's Celia? Tango: It's Sylia's evil misspelt twin! > we see all the Knight Sabers out of armor and in bandages. Maya: Oh yes, bandages are really in this season. They go with everything. > Nene has her head bandaged, Rebecca: We've replaced Nene's brain with that of a baboon. Let's see if anyone notices. > Celia has her arm in a sling, Mackie is walking with a crutch, Dan: That wasn't the fight, that was just Priss. > Linna has bandages in little spots all over her body Tango: Like she rolled around in a pile of band-aids. > while Priss just has bruises in almost every area of her body. ] Dan: Because as we all know, Priss is helluva tough. > LINNA: You mean to tell me that the explosion was nothing more than > some sort of super flash bomb?! Rebecca: Yeah, it's lame, we know. Tango: It was just cheaper to splash a bit of white paint over the cels instead of animating them. > MACKIE: Yeah, but the power readings matched that of a megaton bomb > almost exactly. Maya: Except without the thermonuclear reaction. Tango: I once had a megaton of Fairyfloss. I couldn't see anything for a week... > NENE: That's all right Mackie, when you don't have the best > technical analyst with you, you just have to make do with > what you have. > > LINNA: I'm glad that shot to your head hasn't effected your modesty. Tango: It's Nene, it probably didn't effect her at all. > PRISS: I don't know what you're all complaining about. Rebecca: Being temporarily blinded by a bad plot contrivance? > You didn't > have to drag every one's prone body back to the Mobile > Station, while blind as a bat. Maya: Oh, so that's why they all wound up in the harbour. Dan: You think that was fun, imagine driving home. Tango: Priss gets blind so often she was unaffected by the pithy flashbang. Rebecca: Not that it would effect her driving anyway. > CELIA: And there was no trace of those other two mercenaries? Dan: They're gone, thankfully. > PRISS: Well I did have a little trouble seeing clearly, Tango: Then the flashbang went off. Rebecca: [Celia] Admit it Priss, you were drunk again. > but yeah. > The esper teleported away before my eyes. And as for Sylvie, > I mean Shard, she just disappeared too. Rebecca: She vanished, even. > CELIA: You did a good job Priss. Tango: Good Priss. Gooood Priss. Priss want biscuit? Maya: [Linna] Lousy authour's pet. > You got us all out of there AND > accomplished the mission. You also remembered to retrieve > the tapes. Dan: Wow, Priss is so amazing. She can do all that while blinded and avoiding both the AD Police *and* the remaining boomer. > PRISS: Well honestly, I forgot all about those tapes. Rebecca: [Priss] I was too busy breaking things. > I just wanted to get everyone out of there as soon as possible. Tango: [Priss] And by everyone, I mean me. > But just > before I left, I felt someone put the tapes in my hands. > I guess it was Shard's way of saying thank you. Maya: But wasn't she hired to get those tapes in the first place? Dan: So she gives up her objective to someone else? What kind of a loser is she? > CELIA: Thank you anyway, Priss. These tapes are my father's legacy. Maya: [Celia] Just because I'd only said it about three times before this chapter. > Once I break the encryption codes, Rebecca: We need an unbreakable code. Each letter will correspond to a number. "A" will be 3,000,647, "B" will be -503 and "C" will be a suffusion of yellow. > maybe we can find something that'll end the Genom threat once and for all. > > [ Celia warmly squeezes Priss shoulder with her working arm and > retires to her office. Rebecca: [Priss] Hey watch it, I'm still sore there. Maya: [Celia] So where aren't you sore? > Priss just sits there while staring at the > card she's holding. It reads: Rebecca: For a good time, call "Shard!" I'm inane, annoying and ready to please! > "Shard" > Any job for a price Tango: Could she tar my roof? Rebecca: [Priss] "Any" job? > Call for appointment: > Cellular 7 > 10-CLW-424-0929 > ] > [ Epilogue: In a secret base ] Tango: In a mansion, high atop Melee Island! > RANG: Your plan was a perfect success, sir. Dan: [Rang] Even the part where the Knight Sabers got the tapes. Rebecca: [Man] That's not good enough, Rang. you're going to have to be shot again. Dan: [Rang] Again? > The files are being processed and decrypted even as we speak. Rebecca: But didn't Priss get the tape? Maya: [Rang] That is, they're being processed and decrypted by someone else. > MAN: Did you encounter any reisistance? Dan: [Rang] Only the AD police. Tango: [Man] That's a no. > RANG: None, the flash bomb gave me plenty of time. > These humans couldn't see a Buma if it was standing right in front > of them ready to bite them. Tango: You could probably hear it, though. > MAN: And the Genom cleanup crew sealed off the area? Dan: It's protected by the impenetrable yellow tape! > RANG: Yes, no one will be able to follow up on any investigations. Rebecca: Anyone who does will fall into the plot-hole! > MAN: Excellent. Everything is going exactly according to plan. Dan: [Rang] Even the bit where they got the tapes, sir? Maya: [Man] Shut up, Rang! > Soon they will all pay for their crimes against me. > Genom, Knight Sabers, you will both be destroyed by my hands. > And when that happens, the world will again tremble at my name! Maya: All bow down before the power of Man! Somehow I don't think the world will take him very seriously without a name. > -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= > End of Bubblegum Curse 1. > > I hoped you liked my story. I hope it wasn't too confusion. Maya: I think that about sums it up right about there. > Please email me any comments or suggestions at: krim@gbsmail.attmail.com [The TV switches off] Tango: That's all, that's all, there ain't no more. Maya: Fortunately. Dan: I dunno, I think I'll miss Rang. Rebecca: Any reason? Dan: Well okay, so he didn't have a personality, but at least he had a name. Tango: That's better than I've ever managed. Rebecca: But you've got a name. Tango: Oh yeah. Forgot that. Maya: Not to mention personality in abundance. Voice: If you're quite finished, can I have your reviews? Rebecca: We're not, but you can have them anyway. Dan: I was shocked at how butt useless the knight Sabers were portrayed as. I mean, they get their curvy butts whipped by a bunch of supposedly generic boomers, and have to be saved by the authour-created characters and Mackie. Mackie, for crying out loud. It's just wrong. Rebecca: I was impressed by how little was actually accomplished in this fic. The first half of the fic was all introductions to characters who have no names, and a set-up. The only character who was given any depth was the utterly inane Shard who was so like Priss that it's ridiculous. The other "character" - and I use the term loosely - that got me was the Agent. We get introduced to this guy, he does cool stuff and makes a deal, but we never see him again. All in all, the best character was probably Rang. He didn't do anything, but at least he had a name. Tango: Hmmm.... Well.....there were lots of neat though sadly non-descript supervillians to laugh at, but that was the highlight for me. The whole BGC universe seemed tacked on, almost any setting could have worked with similar....success. I need to go home for some consolation and a long sleep. Maya: And those supervillains were so out of place it was ridiculous. Let's see, we've got overblown psychics in a BGC fic. Not that it's particularly original, but it's also ridiculously underdeveloped. I mean, there's no precedent in the show, and no explanation as to where their powers came from, or their backgrounds. It's as if their powers are accepted, almost commonplace in BGC, which is just ridiculous. Tango: Come on, with all the ESPers, spare Largoes, overblown boomers and other weird stuff floating around BGC fandom, I don't think anyone will notice those two. Dan: I didn't, and I just read the fic. Tango: Hey, that biosludge stuff's good. It makes the fic seem a lot less hurtful. I need to get more of that. Rebecca: Where did he get it? Maya: You don't want to know. Tango: Anyone else want some? Dan: Er... No thanks. Tango: Come on, it's good! it's nutritious, enervating and puts hair on your chest. Rebecca: I suppose you're going to say it goes well with Soylent Green. Tango: Actually... Rebecca: No, forget it, I don't want to know. Tango: Well, I'm off to get some. Coming with me, Maya? [He glances around and sees Maya has gone, and also notices an open window.] Tango: What? She's gone? Dan: Go get her. Tango: Alrighty! [Tango dives out the window. The screen goes blank. Rebecca: That was cruel. I like it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) and Twin Cannon (ausmax@ihug.com.au) Tango is copyright 1997-2000 "TS" Eliot (Twin Cannon) Dan and Maya are copyright 1995-2000 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley is copyright 1995-2000 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, the Satellite of Rednecks and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > PRISS: K*SO!