And now for my fourth MSTing - going it solo for a Street Fighter stinker. Street Fighter and all realated games are copyright Capcom Inc. A Change of Character is copyright Jeff Easthope (IronLich@aol.com), for all the good it'll do him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side.] [A tall, muscular and rather buxom woman enters. Her name is Celena Harte. She has long red hair tied in a ponytail that reaches to her waist, and green eyes. She is wearing a white singlet that shows off her ample chest and jungle camo army fatigue pants. She looks over the place comntemptuously. She wanders into the kitchen, and gets a beer from the fridge. Dan and Tsuneo enter half a minute after her.] Dan: So where do you think the others got to? Celena: Who are you guys? Tsuneo: Never mind that, who are you? Dan: Another replacement? Celena: What do mean? Tsuneo: And where are the others? Voice: If I may explain... Celena: Well hurry up! Dan: [Blinks] You know, people are usually shocked when they hear that thing. Celena: So? Voice: I had to get in Celena to replace Rick and Rebecca for today's work. They've gon on strike. Tsuneo: Demanding more money, I suppose. Voice: No, better fanfics. Dan: There's an idea! Voice: Take it up with your union. Celena: I didn't think you guys had a union. Tsuneo: [Mutters] We don't. Celena: Wonderful. Anyway, what's happeneing here? Voice: First, for the benefit of the viewers. Celena: You mean this is being taped? Dan: 'Fraid so. Celena: [Angrily] Fine. [She walks over to the cushes, and adresses the camera.] My name is Celena harte, I'm a mercenary working on 2040s earth in the midst of great political upheavals and strife. I pilot an assault mecha called a Commando, and work with a useless bunch of slackers and loafers. Voice: Wonderfull. Take a seat, will you? [They all sit on the couches - Dan and Tsuneo facing the TV, and Celena on the other couch. Dan is closest to Celena.] Voice: Okay. Your job is to view an anime fanfic, and give me reviews at the end. Simplicity in itself. Tsuneo: Except when you consider how bad the ones we get are. Voice: Toady, we have the first three parts of a Street Fighter fanfic. Celena: Which erea? Voice: What? Celena: Well, is it the shockingly bad Street Fighter one, the hideously bland Street Fighter Two Super Turbo Champion extra-cheese-and-onions, the comically overdone Street Fighter Zero Two Gold bis with bells on, or the overly un-Street Fighter-like Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha and Some More Things to Throw on the End of the Title, or some fresh mutation of Street Fighter Three the rehash? Tsuneo: You're getting the hang of this already. Celena: Or the super munchkin X-Men vs. Street Fighter, or the extra super munchkin Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter, or evben the suoper turbo deluxe barbeque munchkin Marvel vs. Capcom? Dan: Well done. Celena: Or the sickeningly cute Puzzle Fighters, or maybe even the disgustingly cute Pocket Fighters? Voice: Er... [Dan and Tsuneo applaud.] Voice: [Ahem] It's... wait and see. [The TV screen lights up] Celena: [Malicious smile] This is going to be fun. Dan: Lady, I like your style. [Puts a hand on Celena's shoulder.] Celena: Move it or lose it, freak. Dan: Why do we get all the hard cases? > A Change of Character Tsuneo: An out of character experience. Dan: That bodes. Celena: [Cracks knuckles] Doesn't it just? > A Street Fighter fanfic > by Celena: A street fighter fanatic, no doubt. Tsuneo: Ever notice how similar the words Fanfic and Fanatic are anyway? > Jeff Easthope (IronLich@aol.com) Dan: Iron Lich: A dead iron maiden. > Before I begin, I guess I should say that Street Fighter and all the > characters I use from the Street Fighter games belong to Capcom. This > document is an original story by me, and is meant soley for entertainment, Tsuneo: Or rather, torture. > not profit. Celena: Don't worry there. You wouldn't make any money off this if you tried. > Another thing, some might say that some of this story does not hold true with > the official SF "story"(like there's much of one), Tsuneo: That sounds bad. > like how the SF tournament > in my story is an annual event known around the world. I am aware that is not > how it is in the real story, but I think that the little discrepencies in this > make for a better story. Celena: He's messing with the base story and continuity ON PURPOSE?!? Tsuneo: And he thinks it'll be better. Dan: This guy needs help. > Oh, and as to which game the characters' moves are from, well, I decided to > have them able to use moves from any of the SF games. Celena: Now I know what the voice meant. > An example would be > Ryu's ability to use the Shin-Shoryuken, but his Shinku-Hadouken is the X-Men > vs. Street Fighter version. All: [Singing] A munchkin we will go, a munchkin we will go. Hi-ho the merry-o, a munchkin we will go! > Chapter 1 - Champion Tsuneo: Champion what? Edition? Dan: Fighter? Celena: Champion Fighter would probably be yet another SF2 rip-off. > The two fighters circled each other, keeping their distance, watching > for any openings in their opponent's defense. They both knew there would be > none, for they had fought one another time and time again. Celena: Straight into the action. Dan: For once. > Ryu and Ken had, once again, made it to the finals of the great Street > Fighter tournament. Tsuneo: He warned us, so I can't nitpick it. Damn him! > So skillful were these two, that no one could beat them, except the other. Celena: Or anyone when they're computer controlled. Tsuneo: Unless it's in Marvel vs. Capcom. Dan: Is that an unbalanced game, or what? > In the battles they had waged over the years, neither had > truly proved who was better than the other. Neither one could get too many > more victories than the other. Now, in the finals of the most prestigious > fighting tournament in the world, they had another chance to prove who was the > best. Celena: Although Ryu's the Japanese character, so he's made out to be much better. Dan: Yeah, that's totally unfair. Tsuneo: Can it, guys, that's just being paranoid. Celane: Oh? Tell me it's not true. Show me once in street fighter where a western character or fighting style is seen to be superior to a japanese one? Tsuneo: ... > Ken decided to try to strike first, and moved in with a roundhouse > kick aimed at Ryu's head. Ryu ducked it, and sweeped Ken's legs out from > under him. Ken landed on his hands, and flipped back on to his feet. Ryu, > seeing an opening, shot a punch at Ken's face, Dan: [Kyle] He's weak spot's the face! Use robot punch! > but Ken was prepared for that, and he sidestepped Ryu's fist. > "Hadouken!", Ken yelled as he launched a fireball at Ryu's chest. Celena: Which is what, for the unknowing masses out there? Tsuneo: Maybe ignorance is bliss after all. Dan: At that range, I'd go for a shoryuken myself. > It > connected, and Ryu was knocked off of his feet, and landed with a graceless > *thump* on the concrete arena floor. Tsuneo: Maybe you guys were wrong. Celena: Oh, come on. It's Ryu's standard predictable fight pattern. Get the floor wiped with him, get up, and beat the snot out of the enemy. > Ken smirked as he looked at the fallen Ryu, and to add some insult to > the injury, he backed off, and let Ryu get to his feet. Tsuneo: No, that's called fighting honourably. Ryu should know all about that. > Ryu remained as emotionless as ever. Dan: [Sigh] Some things never change. > The two took their fighting stances again, and this time it was Ryu > who attacked first. He was about three feet away from Ken, and attempted a > fireball of his own. > Ken saw Ryu's hands position themselves for a fireball, and he > blocked. Celena: Dodging would be smarter. > When Ryu didn't yell "Hadouken!", and no blue energy coalesced in > Ryu's hands, Ken knew he had been tricked. Tsuneo: Into appearing in a crappy fanfic to get his ass whipped. > Ryu sweeped Ken before he could block low, Dan: From three feet away? Iffy at beast. Celena: And you don't block a move like that. You either step back, or jump to avoid it. > but Ken landed on his hands > again, and flipped himself up to his feet. Ryu had been expecting that, > however. Tsuneo: He's not the only one. > "Tatsumakisenpuukyaku!", Celena: Why don't they pull off these attacks without yelling? It's such a giveaway, and it lets the enemy prepare for it. Dan: You're really not getting into the spirit of this game. > Ryu yelled as he erupted into a hurricane > kick, smacking Ken in the face three times just as Ken had gotten on his feet. > Ken went down, Dan: [Hoarse voice] You're going down! Tsuneo: [Ash] I'm going up! > and Ryu followed up with a stomp to the sternum as he landed > from the hurricane kick. Dan: Now that is wwaayy not Ryu. > He then dropped to his knees, and put his hands against Ken's face. > "Hadouken!" Dan: Way, way, way not him. If Ken lets him get up, surely he'd do the same? Tsuneo: And it's not a contact move. He couldn't generate it like that. Celena: You two are hopeless. > Ken was seriously hurt by the blast to his face, and was helpless as > Ryu opened up with a flurry of punches to his face and gut. Ken was barely > able to connect with a jab, and then he rolled away from Ryu. He was hurt, Tsueno: You already said that. Celena: Now this is my kind of fight. > bleeding, and dazed. He had to try to hold off Ryu until his mind cleared. He > watched as Ryu lunged at him, and countered with a shoulder throw. Celena: Which sent his shoulder hurtling into Ryu's face. Dan: [Ken] I'll have that back now, thanks. Tsuneo: He's still on the ground, remember? > Ryu was dumped on the floor, but immediately popped back up. All: [Singing] Pop goes the weasel! > "Shoryuken!" Ryu slammed his fist into Ken's jaw. Celena: I'd really, really love to see how that works, especially considering he _still_ hasn't got up. > He flew ten feet, Dan: [Ken] I can fly! Tsuneo: [Ken] I can see my house from here! > and landed flat on his back. He saw through glassy eyes that Ryu was falling > back to the ground, and Ken somehow got the strength to sit up. Celena: Stength to sit up, $9.95 at the Strength Shop. Our weekly special. > "Hadouken!" The blue chi energy flew from Ken's hands, and hit Ryu > just as he landed. Ryu went down, but slowly started to get back up. Celena: Maybe he won't win after all. Dan: Why do you say that? Celena: 'Cause Ken's losing. > Ryu stared emotionlessly at Ken as he got up. Ken was staggering to > his feet, and Ryu decided to see how alert Ken was. Celena: Rather than doing the smart thing and finishing him off there and then. > "Hadouken!" Ryu watched as Ken stumbled out of the way of the > fireball just in time, almost falling over. Ken didn't look good. Tsuneo: This fanfic looks worse. > He could > hardly stand up straight, and his guard was pathetically loose. Sensing > victory, Ryu rushed at Ken. Dan: No, now's time for one of his super-fireballs - maybe a denjin hadouken just for effect. Celena: And if you can't see that Ken's fooling, you deserve what you're about to get. Tsuneo: What tells you that? Celena: Predicatable writing alert. > "Skinku-Tatsumakisenpuukyaku!" The massive amounts of chi filled the > arena as Ryu activated his super hurricane kick. As Ken was sucked toward > Ryu's flying feet, Ryu permitted himself a slight grin. Dan: NO, he does NOT delight in whipping some por half-dead sod with an ultimate attack. Get it right! > Ryu wasn't the only one happy, Ken was also, as Ryu had been fooled > into thinking that he was more hurt than he really was, Celena: See? Others: [Grumble] > and that he was too > dazed to dodge a serious attack. Ken ducked and blocked as Ryu's feet struck > Ken's arms with the force of a thunderstorm. Tsuneo: [Ryu] Fatty, You with your thick face have hurt my instep. Celena: Whaoh, hold it. Even if he's blocking it, his arms would still get crunched to pieces! Tsuneo: I see it now! The fight's running identical to how it would in the game! It's got all the hallmarks - people stand up again from supernatural attacks, you can block anything with your arms - why, I'll bet sooner or later, someone's going to parry a fireball. > Now the smile was gone from > Ryu's face, but Ken's had a big grin. As the super hurricane kick ended, and > Ryu was directly above Ken, Ken thought it was time. Dan: Time for a holiday. Tsuneo: Time to learn about real fights. Celena: Time to kill the authour. > "Shinryuuuuuuken!" [Dan winces and crosses his legs. Tsuneo gets a pained look on his face.] Tsuneo: Ouch. Celena: What's with you wimps? Dan: Well... consider that Ryu's hanging right above him with one leg stuck out, and the kind of attack that is... Celena: [Smiling] I like his style! [Dan's eyes begin to water] > The blue energy coalesced once again, this time > more powerful than before, as Ken executed the most devestating move he had. > The Shinryuken hit Ryu dead on, and Ryu was knocked thirty feet in the air, Dan: [Tom Hanks] Houston, we have a problem. Celena: Unidentified flying idiot in white pyjamas sighted. > before landing on the concrete on his head. A *crack* was heard, and Ryu was > still. All: [Singing to tune of 'Timewarp'] Ryu hit the sidewalk again! > "Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer's voice boomed, the winner of > the match and the Street FIghter tournament, Ken! Ken is the Street FIghter > champion!" Tsuneo: See? Celena: See? > The crowd went wild, and Ken raised his arms in triumph. Dan: [Holds nose] Try some deodorant, pal! > Ken then turned his attention back to Ryu, who was starting to move. Celena: Despite the fact that, by all evidence, his skull was cracked. > Ryu's head was pounding. No one, not even he, could survive a direct > hit from a Shinryuken. Tsuneo: Although he did. Dan: That IS ridiculous. > Ryu looked at Ken, who smirked at him. > "Told you I'm the best, Ryu!", Ken boasted. "You go on about how > dedicated and determined you are, but look at you! You lost! You train > endlessly, you live for nothing but the fight, and you lost to me, a guy who > has a life, who has fun! I told you years ago that choosing that lifestyle > was going to get you nowhere, and now I've proved it! I'm the champ! > Whooooo!" Dan: [Rubeus] You ROOSE! Celena: What the-? Dan: Earlier fic. You're luck you missed it. Tsuneo: And Ken wouldn't gloat like that - at least, noty over his best buddy. > Ryu staggered to his feet with as much dignity he could muster, Celena: None at all, considering the incredible stupidity he displayed. > bowed to Ken, and walked out of the arena without saying a word. Tsuneo: [Ryu] Wait for death in eighteen years. Celena: Or until the sequel, whichever comes first. Tsuneo: Nice going. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Celena: Thank god that's over! > Chapter 2 - A Touch of Evil Celena: Then again... Tsuneo: Antibiotics are just the thing to get over a touch of evil. > Ryu stared straight ahead, not really seeing the wall in front of him. Tsuneo: Which he promptly walked straight into. Smack! > It had been two days since the match with Ken, and ever since Ryu had returned > home that night, he had just sat there, thinking. Dan: And bleeding. Celena: Shouldn't he do something about those injuries? > Contemplating what Ken had said. Dan: [Ken] Sorry, I'm married! [Celena clouts him - hard - over the back of the head.] Celena: Save that one for King of Fighters. > "You go on about how dedicated and determined you are, but look at > you! You lost! You train endlessly, you live for nothing but the fight, and > you lost to me, a guy who has a life, who has fun!" Ryu couldn't argue with > it. Tsuneo: Bad writing dictated that he lost, so he lost. > Just because Ken had beaten Ryu didn't mean Ken was better, Tsuneo: Just that the writing sucked. Dan: No, that's precisely what it proves. That's what they were trying to prove from the start of the fic, remember? > Ryu had > defeated Ken in the past, just as Ken has beaten Ryu. Ryu had puzzled over > that for years. It seemed to Ryu that logic dictated that someone who > dedicates his life to combat should be supreme in battle, especially against > someone who has no discipline and puts other things ahead of fighting, such > as family. Tsuneo: All very true. > Logic seemed to dictate that Ryu should annihilate Ken every time > they fight. Tsuneo: So would the authour care to explain exactly how he lost? Dan: And Ryu isn't one to dwell on tings like this. Tsuneo: Yeah! Remember Sakura's ending? He just accepts it, and goes on to train some more. > Of course, the truth was otherwise. Tsuneo: No, the story was otherwise. Dan: The truth is out there... > No matter how much Ryu tried to > justify why he should've won, he couldn't get away from the fact that he had > lost. Dan: Considering his skull's still cracked, it's a bit hard to avoid that one. > That, over the years, he was never able to be truly better than Ken. Dan: Yes he was! Let's see. He was the first to master Chi energy, he beat Bison when Ken had gone down, Ken only beats him in Alpha Two because he's distracted, furthermore his super moves are far better than Ken's! I'd say that's pretty convincing. > That fact bothered Ryu like nothing else ever did. It was easier for > Ryu to face pyschopaths like Bison and Akuma than to acknowledge that fact. Dan: Come on, nothing's harder than that. Especially for a reasonable guy like Ryu. > It had become Ryu's mission in life some time ago to become Ken's superior, Tsuneo: No, it was his mission to be the best fighter in the world. Remember? > and he had to face the fact that he just couldn't do it. Tsuneo: Why do I bother? Celena: You'll go crazy if you just accept it. > "Or maybe I can...", Ryu mumbled to himself. He thought about Ken's > words. He wondered if perhaps the way he lived did indeed prevent him from > getting better. Celena: Going to a hospital would be a good start. > Perhaps he needed to allow himself to feel emotions, to do > what he wanted to do, Celena: To get his skull patched up. > without considering if it was "honorable". It was more > important than anything to Ryu to become the best. If it meant changing who > Ryu was, then so be it. Tsuneo: Whoah, hold it there. I majorly identify with Ryu, and this is NOTHING like him. He'd never give up his honour! Dan: So when does he put on black pyjamas and get a mean tan? > "Well then, Ken," Ryu murmured, "I guess it's time I `get a life.'" Celena: You said it! Anyone who live just to fight must have a pretty sad existance. [The other two stare at her] What? * * * Tsuneo: Three stars out of oh, say, fifty. > Ken woke up from a deep sleep, and stretched his arms. Eliza was > already awake, and making breakfast from the smell of it. Dan: [Ken] Honey! Could you come up here and untie me from the rack? It's stretching my arms again! > Ken got up out of bed, and put a robe on. He walked into the kitchen > to see what his beautiful wife was making. Dan: With the milkman. Tsuneo: That was uncalled for. [Celena whacks Dan again.] > "Hello, lovely," greeted Ken. > "Morning, Ken," said Eliza. Celena: Domestic blitz. I think I may be sick. > "Still sore?" Tsuneo: [Ken] Naw, unlike some people, I go to hospitals. > Ken flexed his muscles. "Only in the jaw," Dan: [Ken] Had to chew through the ropes agian. Remeber to untie me next time, dearie. > he replied. He had been > mighty sore after the match with Ryu, but he knew that Ryu must have had at > least as much discomfort. Celena: And a cracked skull. Tsuneo: Yeah, we've had that one already! > "That's good," Eliza said. "Want some eggs?" > "Yes, definately," Ken said. He always had a large appetite. > "I'm stepping out for a little while, Eliza said, while giving Ken a > plate of eggs. "There are a few things I need to pick up." Tsuneo: You klnow, these two are so disgustingly rich, they've got people to do that for them. > "Mm-Hmm," Ken murmured while eating his eggs. Celena: [Weakly] Do we really need to go through all this? Dan: What is this, Street Fighter or family ties? > "Bye," Eliza said, heading for the door. > "Bur-buh," Ken managed out through a mouthful of eggs. Dan: Bets that you'll never see her again in the fic? Tsuneo: Nah. > Eliza left, and Ken was left alone. He finished his eggs, and looked > out the window. It was a beautiful morning. Ken reflected on how good his > life was. He had a beautiful wife, he was very rich, and he was the absolute > best at what he did. No, it didn't get any better than that. Celena: I sense impending doom. Tsuneo: That was a bad set-up. Dan: Do they get worse? > The doorbell rang. All: Yup. > Ken, wondering who was at his house so early, > walked to the door, and looked out the peephole. He could hardly believe what > he saw on the other side. Dan: [Ken] Eliza? He's the milkman, for crying out loud. Celena: Stop that, or it's the knife for you. > It was Ryu, but that's not what surprised Ken so much. Ryu was > wearing sunglasses, a "I don't call 911" [All break out laughing] Celena: [Wiping tears from eyes] Yeah, we'd noticed! Dan: Truth at last! > t-shirt, blue jeans, and a leather > jacket. Ken had never seen Ryu dress so casually, the only outfit he had ever > seen him in was the white gi. Tsuneo: Apart from in this insigificant thing caslled Street Fighter V, when he hardly wears his gi. Dan: Ignore it and it will go away. > Ken opened the door and greeted Ryu with a puzzled look on his face. Celena: It _is_ puzzle fighter! > "Uh, hi Ryu... do you realize what you're wearing?" Tsuneo: [Ryu] Naw, I was drugged when I got dressed! > To Ken's surprise, Ryu chuckled. Ken had never seen Ryu show any > signs of humor. Tsuneo: My god! He's turning into a real person! > "Of course I do, Ken," Ryu replied, "I just thought it was time for a > new look." Celena: [Ryu] And I realised that most people don;t wear pyjamas on the street. That's why they all laughed at me! Tsuneo: They're not pyjamas. Celena: [Grinning] Sure. > "Well, come in, come in," Ken invited. Tsuneo: Yes, that usually is an invitation. > Ryu stepped inside, and looked around. All: Description time! Celena: As if. > "You know," remarked Ken, "I think this is the first time you've been > over here." > "Well, I thought a visit was past due. You have a nice home, Ken." Dan: [Ryu] Can I trash it? > "Thanks," Ken said. "Want some coffee?" > "Yes, please," Ryu said. > Ken grabbed a mug for Ryu out of a cupboard. He was still confused > about Ryu's appearance. Dan: [Ken] He didn't look so hunky when we last fought! Celena: Thi ain't Iori Yagami, remember? > "Um, Ryu, what made you decide to start dressing so...casually?" Tsuneo: Maybe 'cause you told him to? > "It was what you said, actually," Dan: Nice call. > Ryu answered, "when you said that > I made a mistake by choosing the lifestyle I have led. I decided to make a > change, and well, here I am, visiting a friend instead of exercising like I > would normally be doing at this time." Celena: And he thinks this is how he's going to be a better martial artist. Makes perfect sense. > "Huh," Ken said. He was amazed at this seemingly total change in > Ryu's persona. Tsuneo: He's not the only one. > "So," Ken asked as he turned to the coffee pot, "does this also mean > that being the best isn't as important to you as it used to be?" Celena: Sure! Rub it in some more, why don't you? Dan: Why doesn't he just put up huge 'Ryu is a loser' posters everywhere? > Ryu smiled. "No, that still is extremely important to me," Ryu said > as he examined Ken's kitchen knives. Celena: At last! Someone who fights properly! Dan: Tha;s one of the worst bits of foreshadowing I've ever seen. > Ken was pouring some coffee into a cup for Ryu. "Because I didn't > think you'd wan't anything to do with me for awhile, seeing how I stopped you > from becoming the champion." Celena: And again! > "Ah yes, the title," Dan: He's right; 'A Change of Character' should have warned us. > Ryu said, still gazing at the knives. "Well, I > was thinking about that. I guess that while you hold that title, you are the > legitimate "best fighter in the world." So, in order for me to be recognized > as that, I have to defeat you in a Street Fighter sanctioned match." Tsuneo: [Ryu] Or just stab you in the back right here. > "Yeah, but we both know that's not going to happen," Ken needled Ryu > as he put some sugar and cream in Ryu's coffee. Celena: Wonderful friend you are. This is the guy who's devoted his life to becoming the peak of physical fitness, so you do _what_ to his coffee? > Ryu chuckled. "Well, I wasn't finished yet actually. For me to be > recognized as the greatest fighter in the world, I have to defeat you in a > Street Fighter sanctioned match, or, well, if you were to die, then you > wouldn't be the champion anymore." Tsuneo: [Ryu] So I think I'll just stab you right here and get it over with. Dan: And Ken hasn't noticed anything wrong yet? > "Excuse me?" Ken said as he started to turn to Ryu with the coffee, All: Behind you! > "What's that supposed to meAAAACCHH!" Celena: The most sensible bit of dialogue to date. > Ryu jammed a butcher knife deep into Ken's gut, and Ken dropped the > coffee to the floor, joining it there a second later. Dan: [Ken] Man, I like this coffee so much. * * * > A car pulled in Ken's driveway, the owner not sure if he should get > out. Celena: It wasn't visiting hours yet. > He had followed Ryu here, but didn't think a confrontation would go so > well for him, Ken being there to help Ryu. Dan: Oh, if only he knew... > No, the man decided, he would > wait some distance away, until Ryu left. He then would ambush him when there > was no one to help Ryu. Then, he was sure to get his revenge. Tsuneo: If this is revenge on Ryu, then it's Sagat, I'm guessing. But he wouldn't do something as dirty as that. Celena: Why not? He's a bad guy. Tsuneo: Yes, but he's a good bad guy. He doesn't do things like that. Dan: And this is while Ryu's doing what, pray tell? Tsuneo: ... > He put the car in reverse, and started to pull out of the driveway, > when he heard a loud boom come from Ken's house. The man looked, and saw Ken > come crashing through a large picture window in the front of the house, Tsuneo: The obnoxious Shaolin frat boy kicks the empty keg through the third- story window! > landing hard on his front lawn. He was bleeding profusely. The man then saw > Ryu leave the house through the front door, he appeared to be chuckling. The > man stopped his car, and looked on the scene with interest. Celena: This is gonna be fun! * * * > Ken was barely concious, and in a lot of pain. He opened his eyes, > and saw Ryu looking down at him, a smile on his face. Ryu then kicked Ken > hard right where he had stabbed him, the knife being removed earlier by Ryu, > so Ken would bleed more. Tsuneo: [Ken] I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. > Ryu pulled Ken up to his knees, and started to just batter Ken. > Punches, kicks, elbows, knees, head butts; Ryu was merciless. Celena: At last a real fight! Dan: You're nasty! > "Y'know Ken," Ryu taunted, "you were right. I should let myself have > fun. I mean, I'm having a ball right now!" He kicked Ken again. Tsuneo: [Vimes] Kicking them while they're down? Dan: [Nobbs] Best time, sir. > "As much as I hate to end this," Dan: [Ryu] Considering that I'm enjoying my new-found sadistic streak. > Ryu said, "I have an appointment to > keep, and I can't be late." Ryu then pulled Ken up to his knees again, and > started to concentrate. > Blue energy began to coalesce as Ryu filled himself with chi. He drew > his fist back, and prepared to strike. > "Shin-Shoryuk*" Tsuneo: YOU BASTARD TRY THIS MELON! > "Tiger!" Celena: And a huge cat leapt out of the bushes and ate them both. The end. > An orange ball of energy hit Ryu in the side of the head, knocking him > over. Tsuneo: Convenient that, at that range, it only hits one of them. > He sprang to his feet, looking in the direction that it came, and saw > him. > "Sagat?!" Ryu exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" Tsuneo: [Sagat] The authour thought no-one would mind a bad plot developement like this. > "Isn't it obvious, Ryu? I'm here to extract the revenge for that > humiliating defeat, and for this." Dan: If Ryu's already fought Bison and Akuma, then they've long sorted this one out. > Sagat replied, pointing at his scar. "I > had hoped to fight you in the tournament, shaming you before the world. Alas, > it was not meant to be." Tsuneo: Balme the writer! I do! > Ryu smirked. "'Not meant to be', huh? The way I saw it, you weren't > man enough to get by Zangief! Tsuneo: Oh, boy. That one's waayy to bad for even me to pick. Dan: That's a shock. > You're a has-been, Sagat! You not good enough > to compete in the Street Fighter tournament anymore, and you know it!" Celena: [Ryu] I'm going into SF3 and you're not! > "The only reason I lost to that wrestler," Sagat said, getting mad, > "was that I had my mind on you. We would've fought in the next round had I > won, if you remember." Celena: Yeah, there's a good excuse. Tsuneo: Oh, come on! He could whip Zangief's butt any day of - Dan: You said you wouldn't, remember? > "I remember," Ryu replied, "and you should be thankful that we didn't > fight, because if we did, I would've given you a matching scar!" Tsuneo: This just ain't Ryu. > Sagat chuckled. "I don't think so, you have lost your focus. Just > look at yourself. You are not the same Ryu who defeated me so long ago, Celena: You don't need to tell us that! > you are a shell of what you used to be. I will defeat you," Dan: Famous last words. > Sagat said, going into a fighting stance. Dan: Round one! Fight! > "Well, as much as I'd like to kick your ass back to Thailand," Ryu > said, "I have to be going. I have more important things to do." Dan: [Ryu] Plucking my nose hairs is a fave. > Ryu turned, and walked to his car. Tsuneo: Which one of us wants to point out that he doesn't have a car? Celena: Quiet now, it's almost over. > Sagat exploded. Tsuneo: Explode at 11 o'clock sharp! [All duck] Dan: That was messy. Celena: Where'd he learn that one? > "Don't you DARE turn your back on me!" He yelled, and let loose. Dan: He still needs daipers? [Celena whacks him on the head again.] > "Tiger Crush!" Celena: Poor cat! > Ryu dodged the Tiger Crush, laughing. He had known exactly what would > set Sagat off, and retaliated. > "Shinku-Hadouken!" Tsuneo: Ouch. Dan: Pain. Celena: There goes Ken's house. > Sagat was thrown back as the beam of energy slammed into his chest. > He tried to get up, but couldn't. He lifted his head to see Ryu pulling out > of the driveway, and heading down the road at high speed. Sagat then looked > at Ken. He couldn't tell if Ken was dead or not, but he had to try to get up > and help him. Ken would make a valuable ally, after all. Celena: Or at the very least, a shield. [The TV switches off] All: Hooray! Tsuneo: That was tragic. Celena: Apart from the fact that it was a fanfic of a fighting game, you mean. Dan: Well, yes. Voice: Have fun, guys? Dan: Oh yeah. A breeze. Voice: So what did you think of it? Tsuneo: It was so out-of-character that it wasn't funny. I mean, I know that the whole point of the story is 'Ryu goes evil,' but Ken and Sagat were also done verey poorly. Ken doesn't gloat and Sagat fights fairly. Dan: I have to say that I really hated the inconsistency with the moves and setting. Yeah, he says he's mucking around with them, but there's no excuse for what he did. The moves help establish the timeline, and if they've learnt the shinryuken and shin-shoryuken, then Sagat's long out of the picture. Celena: The fight scenes sucked. Even if such moves were possible, the characters wouldn't be able to take them like they did. For example, a Tiger punch to the side of the head would have had Ryu's brains scattered all over the scenery in real life. Dan: Please. He annoys me soimetimes. Voice: Fine. Well, thanks guys. Celena: I'd like to say it was a pleasure, but, hey, that's life. Dan: So when are the others getting back? Voice: Oh, in time for the next fic. I promised I'll send them better ones if I find them. Tsuneo: The impossible search continues... Celena: Yeah, well, I'm gone. [The screen goes black] Celena: And Dan, Don't even think of it. Dan: [Gulp!] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas (rickr@one.net.au) Dan, Tsuneo Tateo and Celena Harte are copyright 1995-1998 Max Fauth (Jinas) Jinas' world: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/index.htm RPG info, amateur fanfics and official Bubblegum Crossfire material. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Sagat exploded. Tsuneo: Explode at 11 o'clock sharp! [All duck] Dan: That was messy. Celena: Where'd he learn that one?