This is my first MSTing (aargh! they scream! Head for the hills!). As I have only seen the movie, and nobne of the MST3K series, I decided to follow Mike Surbrook's example and do an MSTing with characters of my own - at least I'll get them right. But anyway, on with the important stuff. Sailor Moon is copyright Naoko T./DIC. Tina's world is copyright 1997- 98 Tina and contributing authours, of which I'm ashamed to say I'm one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette.] [The front door opens and a man enters. He is 28 years old, 6' tall and well built, with a strong muscletone and caucasian features. He wears a pair of combat pants, heavy boots, a sleeveless jacket open at the front showing his bare chest and has a bandaid on the right side of his chin. He has brown eyes and long brown hair tied into a scruffy ponytail that reaches half-way down his back - save for a single strand that sticks out in front of his face. He is holding a newspaper, and examining a page as he enters.] Dan: Let's see.. Flat 1209. Here it is. [Looks up.] What a disapointment. Anyone here? Nope. [He gets a drink from the fridge and sits down on the couch.] I guess I'll just have to wait for someone to show up. [Looks around again.] What the... Hey! No remote! [Another man enters. This one is 19 years old, 5' 8" and of a medium build. He has asian features and skin tone. He is wearing jeans, a leather jacket and an 'Akira'T-shirt with a sword in its scabbard strapped to his back. He has unruly short black hair and brown eyes.] Tsuneo: Hey! Anyone here? Dan: Hey there. Who're you. [Tsuneo walks over to the couch.] Tsuneo: Tsuneo Tateo. Yourself? Dan: Just Dan. Tsuneo: You the guy who put the ad in the paper? Dan: Nope, I'm another applicant. [Tsuneo sits on the couch next to him] I gotta admit, it sounds plenty wierd. Tsuneo: Yeah. 'Persons wanted to review and criticise fanfictions. No experience required. Apply yada yada yada.' Voice: Good, you're here. Dan: Whoah, who was that? Voice: I'm your employer. Call me Jinas. I've been looking around the net and have found some fanfictions which I need reviewed, so I can reccomend them or otherwise. Dan: Sounds like a perfectly cruddy job. Voice: Well, it's not like you're drowning in employment offers, is it? Tsuneo & Dan:... Tsuneo: So what are we meant to do? Voice: There will be more people arriving soon. In the meantime, since all this is being video recorded, how about you introduce yourselves? And please, be honest. [Both look around, and spot a video camera mounted in the wall behind their couch.] Tsuneo: [To camera] I guess I'l go first. My name's Tsuneo Tateo, and I pilot a mecha called a Crash Hound in the Bravo Squad of the 13th RCT of the Dyson Defence Forces on my home planet of Wyoming. I like sports and martial arts, and life always seems to dump on me. Dan: Don't get me so down. [To Camera] M name's Dan and I come from a pretty mucked up version of Palladium's Rifts Earth. I'm a hotshot mechajock with an artificial leg, a world domination agenda, a secret identity so secret that even I don't know it and an evil twin sister. Tsuneo: And I thought I had problems! [A man with scruffy, shoulder-length brown hair and light blue eyes - one of which is slightly wider open than the other - walks in. He is wearing a baggy khaki flightsuit under a WWII style Bomber Jacket adorned with patches, including a huge Jade Falcon on the back.] Rick: Hi guys. Tsuneo: Who are you? Rick: My name's Rick R. Mortis. [Dan Bursts out laughing. Rick gives him a whack on the head, and he shuts up] Ha ha. Very funny. You know, you're the first person EVER to do that. Anyway... I just turned up here following a "Help Wanted" ad. Dan & Tsuneo: Us too. Rick: At least we didn't sign anything... [A woman enters the room. She has long black hair tied into a plait that comes down nearly to her waist. She has blue/grey eyes and is wearing a black flightsuit with a "Mars Division" patch on the shoulder. She has a glove on her left hand. She leans over the couch behind the others.] Rebecca: Hi guys! Dan: OH NO! NOT HER! [Dives behind the other couch and hides] Tsuneo: What's eating him? Rick: Guess he doesn't like beautiful women. Dan [From behind couch]: R.I.P. Rick R. Voice: Would you two care to give us introductions? Rick: Who said that? Rebecca [Cynically]: The great big head in the sky? Dan [Emerges from behind couch and sits next to Tsuneo]: Naw, that's our boss. Voice: This is all being taped, for the benefit of our viewers. Now, if you please... Rick: Anyway, I'm a Commando pilot for the Earth Corps, a millitary force trying to stop the Evil Aliens from conquering the Earth. Tsuneo: Where have I heard that one before? Rick: Anyway... I like girl-chasing, old Robotech comics, shooting aliens (especially that fluffball Terin!) and coming up with modifications for my beloved Commando Una. Dan: Charming. Rebecca: I'm from a crappy C&C inspired campaign, but I later got ported into the same warped Rifts world as Dan. Some people have described me as a 'crazed, gun-toting maniac.' Dan: They're right! Rebecca [Ignores him]: I'm not. And I have an NRA 'Responsible Gun Owner' award to prove it. Rick: No doubt with three bullet holes in it. Rebecca: Two. [Sits down on couch next to Rick] Voice: Maybe now we can begin. I just need you to offer commentary on the fanfiction at the end. You get paid by the review, and with any luck, I'll be running a few by you. But first, a spoecial treat. This is a multi- authour Sailor Moon- Dan: WOO-HOO! Rebecca: AARGH! My secret weakness! Dan: Cool. [snickers] Tsuneo: [Groans] Rick: I'm getting my gun. Rebecca: Me first! Me first! Voice: [Ahem] The story is called 'Chaos in Time,' set after the American series has ended. Rick: You'll have to throw me a bone here, I've seen about half a dozen episodes. Rebecca: Me less. Dan: Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. Tsuneo: I have a horrible sense of foreboding about this... Voice: ANYWAY, the authour sets the scene for a new storyline, then other wirters follow on from that lead. And without further ado... [The TV screen lights up.] > Tina's World Rick: Tina's World! Tina's World! Here's an extreme close-up! Dan: I wish. > Sailor Moon: Chaos in time Rebecca: Sailor Moon: Chaos in my digestive tract. Tsuneo: Has this anything to do with- Dan: Don't make the one about the sailor's pants! > A multi-authour fanfiction. Rick: Oh, dear. Tsuneo: Up there with great curses like 'self insertion,' 'cross-over' and 'Gonterman.' Rebecca: I've got one of those stuffed and mounted on my wall. Tsuneo: I don't think we're talking about the same thing here... Rebecca: What, fat no-talent slob from Colarado? Tsuneo: Never mind. > Introduction Rick: The end! Hooray! Rebecca: No such luck. > "They've destroyed my strobe! Rick: No more disco for you! > They've dispersed my warp hole! They'll > PAY!!!" Rubeus slammed his fist into the mirror. "D'oh!" Dan: Homer Simpson is Rubeus. > "Rubeus. You've utterly and completely failed. Why do you compound this > with seven years bad luck?" Dan: Another seven? > "Wiseman! Rick [Cartman]: Wiseass more like it! > Uh...um...uh... what's up?" Tsuneo [Stoned]: I am, man! I just got some really great grass. > "Don't play stupid. Rebecca [Rubeus]: I don't have to play, it comes natural to me! > You've fouled up enough. The Crystal Points-- lost. Tsuneo: A map might have helped. > The Four Sisters-- corrupted to the side of Good. Tsuneo: Is this a new definition of the term 'corrupted?' Rick: Wait a minute, are we talking about that Australian rock formation? Rebecca: That's the Three Sisters, dummy. > Countless monsters-- > wasted. All because of you. Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now." Rick [Rubeus]: 'Cause I've got a really cute ass! Dan: Rick! That's disgusting! Rebecca: Yeah! He beat me to it. > "Uh... because... uh..." Dan: Is this a trick question? > "You're right. There is no reason. Tsuneo: Kill him! Kill him! > However, I feel generous today. You get > one more chance." > "Thank you, Wiseman. I won't let you down." Dan: Yeah, right. He always does, you know. Rebecca: I think we'd guessed that by now. > "That's not true. Despite the perfection of my plan, I'm sure you'll find > a way to mess up. Rick: Dang, we've already done that. > Now listen to what I will tell you, and listen well." He > waved his hand over his crystal ball. In a dazzling flash of light, a > golden rod appeared. Rick: Rubeus suffered from hay fever, and thus broke out in a sneezing fit. > Rubeus gaped at the glittering wand. It was ringed > with precious stones, and engraved with runes that seemed older than the > world itself. At one end was a large green button. Tsuneo: As opposed to the large red button. Rebecca: Labelled 'Do not press this button again.' Dan: Leave it out, guys, I'm trying to enjoy the fic. > "This is the Time Key. > It is the gate to all times. With this, you will solve all of our > problems." Rick: And probably create a few million more. Tsuneo: Not to mention that nothing can solve some of his problems. Rebecca: Never mess around with anything labelled 'time.' I learnt that the hard way with a rather scatty toaster. Dan: [Shudders] > Wiseman proceeded to outline his plan. Yes... Rubeus thought. I will > succeed... and be avenged for my humiliation!!! Tsuneo: [Galacticus P. Doom] ME! Me! The one they said was mad! Rick: Aboput five people are going to get that one. > Introduction by Tina Rebecca: Flaming by us. Tsuneo: Well that wasn't so bad... Voice: It's just the introduction. There's twenty more chapters to go. All: AARGH! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Tear along dotted line. > "Oh wow! Chocolate-chip ice cream!" Serena skipped down the sidewalk, > busily eating an ice-cream cone. Rebecca: I should add something here about anti-personnel mines, but I think it would be a bit too tasteless. Tsuneo: I'm glad I'm not a diabetic. > "It's amazing how one can be so easily amused," Raye commented, walking > beside her. Rebecca: [Stares at Dan] Yeah, funny that. Dan: What? > "Rayeeeeee, you're soooo meeeannnn! Tsuneo: [Clutches ears] I'm never going to recover. > However, there's nothing anyone can do > to ruin my mood," Rebecca: Except Amy telling her she was leaving for Mina. Dan: I'm shocked! Rick: Yeah! I should be doing that! > Serena returned, satisfied. Tsuneo: Heading home and leaving the rest of them. The end. > "What were you and Darien doing last night?" asked Mina. Dan: No... Please, no. Rick: Wouldn't you like to know? > "Hmm..." Serena's > only response was to concentrate on her ice cream. Tsuneo: Which takes all of her attention span. Rebecca: Are you sure you've never seen this show? > "You both really should leave her alone," said Lita. "If she wants to tell > us something, then--" Lita's scolding was interrupted by her communicator. > It was Sailor Mercury. Dan: Yay! Rick: Wearing that cute white plugsuit. Dan: What? > "Mercury! What is it?" Lita asked. Rebecca: [Mercury] Well, it's either the first planet in the solar system or a liquid metal, but that's not important right now. > "Scouts! I was playing chess with Birdie when she disappeared!" Mercury > reported anxiously. Tsuneo: Probably cuted her to death. > "Right! We'll be there!" Lita turned to the others. "Guys, it looks like > Mercury's in trouble! ...Serena, are you listening?" Rebecca: Of course not. She was concentrating on her ice-cream, remember? Tsuneo: And thus didn't notice that she'd walked into traffic. Rick: I wish. Dan: You guys... > "Mmm... chocolate....*drool*...huh?" Dan: Homer Simpson is Sailor Moon. Rebecca: Now there's an image I can do without. > *SMACK!!!* Raye slapped Serena across > the face. All except Dan: Hooray! > "Hey! What was that for?!" Serena whined. Tsuneo: [Raye] For being a whiny, annoying, saccharine-sweet, overly cute, obnoxious, annoying, selfish, brattish, dork-haired, annoying, boy-crazy oompaloompa! Rebecca: You said 'annoying' three times. Tsuneo: And your point is? > "Pay attention and transform!! And wipe the drool off your chin!" Rick: [Raye] Just because you've got this wierd thing about seeing me naked... Dan: Stop that! > Raye yelled. > "Aahhh!!! You spilled my ice cream!!! Oooh... I'll get you for this... Tsuneo: So, let me get this straight. She's more annoyed at having her ice- cream spilled than having one of her friends vanish. Rebecca: That's about the scope of it. Dan: At least they're remaining faithful to the characters. > Moon Crystal POWER!!!" Rick & Rebcca: AARRGGHH!! > After changing, Tsuneo: Which involved heading back home, choosing outfits, arguing about time spent in the bathroom... > the scouts rushed to meet Mercury. They arrived and > entered the apartment. Rick: Unit 00 Hiding out the back. Tsuneo: Get real. > The door slammed shut and would not open. > "What's going on?" asked Sailor Moon. Tsuneo: May I? Rebecca: Oh... All right. Tsuneo: You're in a crappy fanfic with no hope of escape. That help? > "All right, come on out, Rubeus," Rebecca: [Jupiter] We know about you and the Wiseman! > Jupiter yelled. "We know you're in here! Rebecca: [Jupiter] We know about the crush you've got on Mercury. Dan: At least make up your mind. Rick: Sorry, she looks so cute in that plugsuit. Dan & Tsuneo: HEY! > Don't try to hide!" > "Who's hiding, Sailor Scrubs? I'm right above you." The Scouts looked up > to see Rubeus balanced on the chandelier. Dan: That's a dang nice apartment. > Chapter 1 by Tina ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan: Sign on dotted line, and you'll never see your soul again. Tsuneo: No, that comes from just reading the fanfic. > "Aah! I am Sailor Moon! I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! And in > case you weren't paying attention, that means YOU!" Rebecca: [Rolls on floor, gagging.] Dan: What's with her? Rick: Guess, you cretin. Dan: But she really says that. Tsuneo: [Rolls on floor, gagging.] > "Where are the sisters?" Mars asked. Rick: Like I said, in Australia. Dan: FOUR sisters! Rebecca: [Getting up] Give it up, Dan. > "Sorry to disappoint you, but they had to step out for a bit. Tsuneo: [Rubeus] Such a shame this is a twelfth floor apartment. Rebecca: [Rubeus] I gave them a choice. It was either that, or appear in this fanfic. Rick: Glad you two have recovered. > Hopefully I can entertain you in their place." > "Ooh... come down and fight like a Sailor Scout, Rick: What, whine a lot in a ridiculous outfit? Rebecca: Tut, tut, Rick, you know he only wears that outfit for the wiseman. Dan: Or better yet, stay up there and fight like a villain! Tsuneo: I'm surprised Dan let that one go... > you scumbucket!" Venus challenged. > "Again I apologize..." He pulled out an incredibly adorned golden rod Rick: And had another sneezing fit. > and > clicked three parts together. "...but you really must go. It wasn't nice > knowing you, Scouts, but it'll be great knowing you've never existed. Tsuneo: Yes, won't it? Rebecca: Hear, hear! Dan: Ohh... Can it. > "What are you babbling about? 'Never existed'?" asked Mercury. Rick: [Mercury] You can't 'never exist' me, I've got to go back to Nerv HQ tonight. Tsuneo: [Whaps Rick on the head] Now stop that! > "It's only a matter of time. Excuse the pun." All: NO! > Rubeus pointed the Time Key > at the Scouts and pressed the green button. A glowing beam lanced out > towards the scouts. Stopped in place, they began to weaken. > "AAAAHHH!!!", they screamed. "What's.. happening to us?" Tsuneo: Like I said, you're in a crappy fanfic. > "Hahahahah," Rubeus cackled. "I'm getting you out of my way FOREVER!! With > this Time Key, I can send you to whenever I want! I've come up with the > perfect plan! After I send you to the future, I'll go back to my time > where Crystal Tokyo will be easy pickings! And the best part is, you can't > do anything because you won't exist!!! Tsuneo: Um... Does anyone want to know that a far better plan would be to imitate 'Terminator' and go back and kill their parents before they were born? Or do them in as kids? Rick: Smile & nod. Rebecca: Besides, that means we might have to see them as even sweeter than they are now. Tsuneo: Your plan's perfect, Rubeus! > Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! YOU ROOSE!! All: YOU WHAT? Rick: I suppose we've got the fansubbed version. > HAHAHAHA!!! Yes! I'll send you to the future where I've already taken over > the world!! Dan: Bet you he even mucks that one up. > "Never! You're moondust! Moon Scepter Elimination!!!" Tsuneo: Zeo Blasters! Now! Rebecca: Rapid-fire Machinegun! Rick: Southern Cross Fist! Dan: Big Ass Blast! > Sailor Moon fired at the Key. Tsuneo: She fired her scepter at the key? Dan: Yes. Tsuneo: But surely, there are better weapons? Like a gun? Dan: It's magic. Don't ask. Rick: And where precisely does she keep that thing, anyway? Dan: [Statrs drooling] > "NOOOO!!!" Rubeus cried as the Key blasted into pieces Tsuneo: Killing them all in the resulting explosion. The end. Rebecca: [Bored] Yay. > which fell into the > beam. He reached for the pieces, but could only reach one without entering > the time beam. "Aah! Look what you've done!!! You WITCH!!" he swore at > Serena. All she had strength to do was grin triumphantly as the scouts > began to fade away into the time stream. Suddenly, in a flash of light, > they were all gone. Rubeus found himself alone with the last piece of the > Time Key."Grrr..." He clutched the piece and prepared to return to the > ship. Dan: Told you he could stuff it up. Rick: This guy couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery. > Chapter 2 by Tina Rebecca: Where are these multiple authours, anyway. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan: Flatline. Fanfic's dead. Tsuneo: CLEAR! [All make sound of electic shocks.] > Rini entered Amy's house. Tsuneo: Damn, it worked. Rick: AAAH! IKE! Rebecca: Quick! Let's boot it in the head! > "Amy!" she yelled. "Amy, I'm here!" She > listened. Silence. "Oh well." Rini danced out. Tsuneo: Real children don't go hoppity-skip unless they're on drugs. Rick: If I catch you being twee again I will knot your arms behind your head. Rebecca: Please. > Later Luna and Artemis were looking for the scouts. Dan: [Artemis] Not under this rock... No. Have you tried the duckpond? Rebecca: [Luna] Have you tried Tahiti? I hear it's good this time of year. Tsuneo: I think we all should... > "Where could they have gone to?" Rick: Disneyland? > Luna asked. They saw Rini skipping down the sidewalk. "Rini, > have you seen the scouts?" Rick: [Rini] No, but I saw a big blue robot in Amy's back yard! Dan: Enough already! Tsuneo: Yeah! They keep it in the geofront. Rebecca: Geocities... Geofront... separated at birth? > "No, Rebecca: And thank god for that. > I went over to Amy's house. She was going to take me out for an ice > cream, but she wasn't there," Rini said. Tsuneo: Do these people think of anything but ice cream? > "She wasn't?" Luna asked. Rebecca: [Rini] Yeah, that's would I just said, you dopey cat! > "It's not like Amy to forget," Artemis said. Suddenly Rubeus appeared > above them. Tsuneo: And fell to the ground because he'd materialised in thin air. Dan: No chandeliers here. > "Oh no!" Rini shouted. All: Oh, yes! > "That's right--the scouts are gone! I sent them away. HA HA HA, Tsuneo: Diabolical laughter. > I'll take > over the world and there is nothing you can do about it. HA HA HA. I just > had to taunt you," Tsuneo: Diabolical acting. Rick: [Silly french voice] Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time! > Rubeus said. In a flash he disappeared. Tsuneo: Piling up several offences for exposing himself to a minor. Rebecca: What's gotten into you? Tsuneo: I'm sorry. It's just.. this fanfic. > "Oh no! What do we do?" Rini turned to Luna and Artemis. Rick: Let's form a conga line! [They all leap up and start dancing the conga, until Rebecca smacks Dan for holding her in the wrong place.] Voice: If you don't mind... Dan: Spoilsport. [They resume their seats. Dan rubs his cheek sorely.] Rebecca: Next time, I'll just shoot you. > "Rini, you have to go back in time and save your friends!" Artemis said. Dan: So we are going to see them as munchkins. [Rebecca and Tsuneo roll around on the floor, gagging.] > "Me? But I'm just a little kid," Rini sucked her thumb. "What can I do?" Rebecca: [Getting up] For starters, jump on this antipersonnel mine. Tsuneo: What have I told you about being cute? > "Take this amulet!" Luna spun around and an amulet appeared. It was green, > light-blue, and black. Dan: Yuck! > "What's this for?" Rebecca: Homing signal for the missiles. > "Hold it up to the sky and shout "Time Star Power!" Dan: What... Please, god no!!! > Rini clutched the amulet, reaching for the sky. "TIME STAR POWER!!" she > shouted, and transformed into Sailor Time. Her hair had turned green. Her > skirt was black, and her bows light-blue. "Cool!" Rini giggled. Dan: [Anguished] NO!!! But she's not any Sailor Time... There is no Sailor Time... She's Chibi Moon, not... [Breaks down, sobbing.] Rebecca: Fanboy. Rick: If he was Tom, his head would have exploded by now. Rebecca: Please... > "Now you must travel forward through time, Rick: But you said travel back in time! Tsuneo: Smile & nod. Rebecca: Even the authour's not paying attention to this one. > save the scouts, Rebecca: Why? > and then help > them defeat Rubeus and whatever new flukies he might have. Tsuneo: [Hades] We hug, we smooch, we all dance around, everyone goes home happy. Whaddya say? > "Right." Sailor Time nodded. "Hold on Sailor Scouts! Help is on the way!" Tsuneo: They're turning her into the hero of the story? NOOO!!! [Breaks down, sobbing.] > Chapter 3 by CJ Ward Dan & Tsuneo: CURSE YOUR BLACK HEART, CJ WARD! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rebecca: And a line of ants walk across the page. > A shining ball of light appeared over the street. It rapidly expanded, > then flashed away, Tsuneo: Nup, done that one. > leaving the Sailor Scouts hanging in mid-air. Rebecca: Pity it couldn't be higher up. > They plunged to the ground, screaming, and landed in a heap. Tsuneo: I never thought I'd be glad to see them. Dan: [Muttering] Sailor Time... > "We all seem to be alright," said Lita Tsuneo: [Raye] Speak for yourself, I've got some dandy bruises. > "Speak for yourself," said Raye, "I ve got some dandy bruises." Rick: How did you do that? Tsuneo: I don't know... But something feels disgustingly familiar about this... > She looked > around as they picked themselves up off the ground. They were in the ruins > of a house. All around was desolation, the torched remnants of a city. Rick: Eternity comics present: Sailor Moon: Aftermath. Rebecca: Written and illustrated by Bruce Lewis. Rick: In courier new font with no capitals on a cruddy old typewriter. Rebecca: Inks by Dave Lampere. Dan: ENOUGH ALREADY! Tsuneo: I think about three people are going to get that one. > "Something s wrong!" cried out Serena. Rick: No shit, Sherlock. Tsuneo: You've gone from a bad fanfic to a bad comic - I don't know which is worse. Rick: Bruce got paid for Aftermath. Dan: The comic. > Taking stock of the situation, all > of them realised that they'd reverted to human forms. Tsuneo: So... what were they before? Dan: Sailor Scouts. Rick: Cute Furry Bogflops. Rebecca: Justifiable causes for incendiary weapons. > "I wonder what happened here," Tsuneo: You've gone form a bad fanfic to a - Rick: Yeah, yeah, enough already. > Mina asked, not expecting an answer. > "Same thing that s going to happen to you!" Dan: Well, she got one anyway. Rick: Was that a set-up line, or what. > bellowed a cruel voice from > above. A woman, or at least something in a woman's form, was perched upon > the remains of a wall nearby them. It seemed to be made of a black mist of > some kind, save for the cruel and hawk-like face that had a ghostly > pallor. Dan: I'll take anything in a woman's form. Rebecca: you would, you... Tsuneo: Calm down. > "Nega-monster!" Called out Serena. "Moon Crystal Power!" Rick: Not again! Rebecca: Oh, my aching head! > The inner light in the Silver imperium crystal flared for the briefest of > moments... then vanished. Dan: What? That's the most powerful source of energy in the universe! IT CAN'T FAIL! Rick: Fanboy. Tsuneo: They gave that to a bratty fourteen year old ditz? Rick: No, she found it in a christmas cracker. Rebecca: Besides, there are more powerfull things in the universe. Like prune juice. Dan: Natch. > "What s happened?" she cried out. "How can we fight it?" Tsuneo: You don't. You all die horribly screaming with sharp things in your head. Rick: Please. Dan: Feeling dark? Tsuneo: This is a good day for me. > Suddenly, there came two shouts from above and behind them, accompanied by > a flash of light. > "Mars Fire-Wind Slash!" > "Jupiter Thunder-Discs Blast!" Dan: Oh no, not again... Tsuneo: Hadou-ken! Rick: Sonic Boom! Rebecca: Screaming Eye Beam! > A bolt of blazing fire, crackling with electricity, Tsuneo: Is now the right time to say something about energy and matter? Rick: No. > shot down from above, Dan: Rubeus and his chandelier again, I see. > striking the mist-creature. It screamed briefly, and dispersed into thin > air. Rick: [Yelling] DON;T STAND THERE GAWPING! LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE HAND OF GOD BEFORE! Rebecca: [Holds ears] Ow... > Then two young women, both about 16, landed in front of the sailor scouts. > One was tall and lean, with short purple hair. The other had a long green > plait. But the most amazing of all was that the first wore Mars' costume, > the second was dressed as Sailor Jupiter. Rick: No! Wierd hair colours! Dan: But Rini had purple hair. Rick: Yeah, but she's a mutie. Dan: You know, that 'Jupiter' one looks a bit like... Rebecca: Don't even think it! > Chapter 4 by Jinas All: Ahhh... Tsuneo: So that's what it was. Rebecca: [Cracks knuckles] I'm going to have to have a 'chat' with our boss about this. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan: Murphy's law says that a row of perforations instantly becomes the toughest part of a piece of paper. Rick: So if we tear here, the whole thing comes apart? Tsuneo: Already has. > Amazed and baffled by the appearance of the new scouts, a silence fell > over the group. All: [Dead silence] Dan: I'm speechless. Rebecca: It's a miracle. Tsuneo: Now I KNOW this is a bad fanfic. > "Who are you?!?" Rick & Dan: We're the Warner Brothers! Rebecca: And the Warner sister, Dot! Tsuneo: [Rolls around on floor, gagging.] Dan: That guy's got a low cuteness threshold. > With a toss of her head, the purple-haired one snapped Rebecca: Her neck. Tsuneo: Her plait whipped around her companion's neck and strangled her too. Dan: The green-hair one had the plait. Tsuneo: Oh, well. Wishful thinking. Dan: So not only have they changed Rini and stripped away the scouts' powers, but they're adding in their own characters? Rick: Generic Fanfic Hell. Rebecca: I hope this isn't a trend. > "It doesn't matter. Dan: [Eric Idle] It doesn't matter WHY they're dressed as a tiger, have they got my leg? Rick: Nice one! Dan: Well? Do they? [Taps artificial leg.] > Let's get out of here before 'Misty' comes back." Rebecca: ['Mars'] She might bring some plot with her. Rick: ['Mars'] We wouldn't want that! > "We can only disperse her for a short amount of time," Tsuneo: And the audience for a long time. Dan: If there is any. > explained the > green-haired one. "Come on; follow us and we'll get you to safety." She > started off, followed closely by 'Mars'. Tsuneo: But didn't notice the cliff behind her and they all fell to their deaths. The end. Dan: Except for 'Sailor [grumbles] Time.' Tsuneo: Damn. > The Scouts hung back a moment. "Can we trust them?" Amy asked. Rick: [Scout] I don't know... They did sort of save our lives and all. > "Do we have a choice?" asked Lita. Rick: Touche! Rebecca: Yes. Tsuneo: There's that cliff, remember? Dan: Stop that! > 'Jupiter' looked back at them. "Come on!" she called, then ran after the > purple-haired girl. After a look about them, the Scouts followed as well. > The scenery was as different from Tokyo as Serena could imagine. Debris > was strewn everywhere, making the area more closely resemble a crash site > than a city. Rebecca: [Lecturing] See what happens when you don't clean your room, young man? Dan: [Small voice] Yes, mum. Rick: They've wandered onto the Godzilla set. Tsuneo: Hey... > The streets, while completely devoid of people, gave the distinct > feeling of being watched. The air was thick with a heavy funk, a smell > tangible in its putridness. Tsuneo: Heavy funk? Rick: A fat guy with an afro and a medallion. Dan: [Stoned] Funky, man. > "What's wrong?" 'Jupiter asked. "One would think you're not used to this. > What, did you just fall out of the sky?" Tsuneo: How do I answer that one? > "Well, actually..." Mina challenged. Tsuneo: I had to ask. Rick: Have you been reading this in advance? Tsuneo: Get real. > "Get ready," 'Mars' barked. They had come to a sheer drop of about 20 > feet. Tsuneo: Hah! I win a groat! Dan: Shaddup. > Serena threw a worried look to her friends. Dan: [Lita] Ouch! That hurt! Rick: [Mina] Should learn to catch, you big dope. > "We're not going down there, I hope," Tsuneo: We can only hope. > but was quickly shushed by a simultaneous glare from Raye and the > purple-haired girl. 'Mars' and 'Jupiter' walked up to the edge of the > drop, then muttered an incantation. In an instant, matter seemed to shift > and the world turned black. Rick: [Muttering] Incantation, incantation, buggrit, millenium hand and shrimp, incantation. > Gradually, the world came into focus. When Serena came to, a smiling red- > haired girl stood over her. Rebecca: WHOAH! Dan: I wish I could counter that. Rebecca: Hey watch it lady, otherwise Amy'll get jealous. Dan: Shut up! > "Hello, friend. Sorry, the matter-transfer > process tends to create some discomfort to those unaccustomed." Rick: [Girl] Sorry, it's Scotty's day off. Rebecca: I'm still also working on a way to make sure youre clothes and your body end up in different places. Dan [Muttering] Glad I brought along the duct tape. > Serena gave a blank look. Rick: So what else is new? Tsuneo: Damn! You beat me to it! > The red-haired girl laughed. "All right, let me start Rebecca: [Serena] Not again! I'm exhausted! Dan: THAT'S IT! [Dan pulls out a roll of duct tape and leaps over at Rebecca. A fight breaks out between the, ending upmwith Rebecca's hands tied with duct tape and another strip over her mouth. Dan has a black eye, and his hair is more ruffled than usual.] Dan: [Sitting down] That'll teach you! > over. My name is Athena. Welcome to the Resistance." > Chapter 5 by Double E Rick: Double E - the batterey that was meant to have replaced double As by now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Why, look, it's a whole line of Dot posts. Tsuneo: About two people are going to get that one... Not including me! > "Ummm, where exactly are we?" Amy asked, after unsucessfully trying to get > her computer. Tsuneo: Because she left it back at her flat, remember. Dan: She'd never! Rick: Maybe she's just a little shook up after the fight with Bardiel. Dan: DAMMIT! SHE IS NOT REI AYANAMI!!!! Tsuneo: Yeah, Rei's much better. Rick: I feel a holy war coming. Dan: Get real! That girl's a neurotic, antisocial little pain in the Chang Wufei. Tsuneo: Better than a gimpy little nurke with no social skills! Rebecca: MMMPPHHH!!! MMPH MMPHH MMMMMMPPPHHHHHHH!!!!! Rick: I agree fully. I never saw Rei chasing Asuka around. Dan: CURSE YOU FOREVER! Mercury could bust Rei's ass any dayu of the week! Rebecca: MMMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MM! MMMMPPPPHHH!!!!!! Rick: You're right, she'd enjoy busting Rei's cutye little backside! Tsuneo: Besides, EVA-00 could squash Mercury flat in a second. Dan: THAT'S IT! [Dan leaps at Tsuneo with murder in his eyes. The two struggle for a second, then stand up facing each other.] Dan: [Adopts fighting stance] I warn you, I am an expert of Shotokan Karate. Tsueno: So what? [Draws sword. It hums slightly in his hands.] Dan: Ah. Voice: ENOUGH! Sit down, both of you. Leve it until after the fanfic. [They both sit down, glaring at each other. Rick has remoived the gag and untied Rebecca's arms. The fanfic rewinds and plays from where they left off.] > "This is what is left of Crystal Tokyo. We're the Resistance; an alliance > of soldiers who fight the monsters and such. Emperor Rubeus and the > Wiseman Rebecca: The empress. Dan: Who let her free? > rule this land and attack us." Tsuneo: Wouldn't you? > 'Mars' and 'Jupiter' ran off without a word, which Serena thought was > quite rude. Tsuneo: She's one to talk. Dan: Think. Rick: She... Naw, too easy. > Before anyone could say anything, a smallish girl with short > black hair and small wings protruding out of both sides of her head came > into the room. Rick: Folks, this is where it goes just plain wierd. > "Hey, Athena," she said absently, then did a double-take once she saw the > five girls. Rebecca: Wow! What a present! Are they all for me! Dan: That was disgusting, even for you. Rebecca: I'm sorry. I'll be better next time. > "You guys are the Sailor Scouts, aren't you? The real ones, I mean." Rebecca: [Serena] Geez, was it the hairdo that gave it away? Dan: Clarke Kent; Superman. Go fig. Rick: Actually no, it was the plu- [gets evil stares from both Dan and Tsuneo] Never mind. > "Well, yeah. But what's going on?" Tsuneo: You're in a bad- Dan: Can it with that one already! > "I knew it!" the dark-haired girl cried happily. "You guys didn't believe > me, but I was right!! Dan: [Girl] I win a groat! Rick: Multiple exlamation marks are the sure sign of a diseased mind. > These are the legendary warriors who are going to go > back in time and save us all. Let me guess...Amy, Serena, Mina, Raye, and > Lita. Rick: No, Larry, Moe & Curly. > I'm Cyllene, but some call me Hermes. I'm one of the Goddesses. Dan: Urd? Where? All others: FANBOY! [They throw couch cushions at him.] > Athena over there is my sister." Tsuneo: Please don't let this go into psuedo mythological gobbledygook. Rick: Where'd you get a classical edcuation form on Wyoming anyway? Dan: Back of a cereal box. > "What are you talking about?" Lita asked. Rick: Beats me. Dan: "These are the legendary warriors who are going to go back in time and save us all." Pay attention next time. > "See, I've always had this theory that if the Sailor Scouts were alive, > then Rubeus would have been destroyed. Tsuneo: Unless they were as incompetent as him. Dan: No-one's that bad. Tsuneo: You never met the DDF command. > But he's alive and everyone knows that he alone couldn't beat you. Rebecca: Why pray tell not? > I figured that he just sent you into a > warp and kept you in another dimension or something. Apparently I was a > little off." Dan: Wow. I've heard of fuzzy logic before, but this isn't anything near in focus. Rick: This whole fic's a little off. > "Well, we got sent into the future with the Time Key, and Rubeus was > saying something about us not existing." Tsuneo: Unfortunately, he was wrong. > "I'll have to contact the others about that. There is a set of weapons > made for ethereal wars known as the Crystal Weapons; the Time Key was one > of them." Athena said. Rick: Along with the banana bomb. Rebecca: And this fanfic. Rick: And the free-fall airdroppable moose. Rebecca: No-one's going to get that one! > "We'll talk later. How about we get you something to eat and some armor > for you?" Dan: Why bother? It's not like they ever needed it before. Rebecca: Yeah, any shots will just bounce off their- Dan: REBECCA! Rebecca: What? You tell me with a straight face that fourteen-year-olds are meant to be shapd like that. Dan: Well... Well... Well... [Blows rasberry at Rebecca.] > Cyllene said brightly, leading them into a room in the back of > the temple. Rebecca: If I say it, he'll kill me. Tsuneo: If you don't you'll explode. Rick: Yeah! Youy know what the back room's for. Rebecca: Thanks. > Chapter 6 by Silver Starr. Dan: Silver star for effort, clout on the nut for writing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: It's the Morse Code of the Banshee! > "Something to eat? I'm starving!" piped up Serena quickly. Tsuneo: Does she ever stop thinking about food? Dan: [Glaring at Rebecca] Don't you answer that. Rebecca: [Innocently] What? > Raye was momentarily shocked. "You'd just eaten when we left! How could > you possibly be hungry again now?" Rebecca: [Serena] You know, it builds up an appetite, all that- Dan: [Ahem] Rebecca: Uh, walking. Yeah! > "I'm sorry, it's just I'm always hungry after travelling, and we walked > such a long way..." Dan: I hate it when she wins. Rebecca: [Blows rasberry at Dan] Tsuneo: Maturity, please. > Mina and Lita glanced at each other, then in sync rolled their eyes back > and sighed. Cyllene stifled a giggle. She'd been so anxious about meeting > the legends, and to find that they were such normal people... Rick: Like anything about them's normal. Dan: Aw, come on Rick, that was too easy. > Suddenly there was a cry from behind them. Part of the roof had been > blasted in, and standing in the middle of the room was the mist-formed > figure they had seen earlier. She bellowed "Shadows! Come forth!" Tsuneo: I didn't think she even knew Mr. Morden. > and > instantly four dark, vaguely humanoid forms wavered into being. Each was > tall and completely black and featureless, save for each one holding a > weapon. > "Stay back," called Cyllene, "You can't fight them!" Rebecca: That hasn't stopped us from running out and getting humiliatingly beaten before! > "But we've got to do something," Tsuneo: Aside from just standing there and whining, you mean. > said Amy as the battle was joined. Rick: [Mercury] If only I had my EVA... Dan & Tsuneo: AARRGHH!! > The > future Mars and Jupiter were blasting at the shadow forms to no avail. Rebecca: Even thought they were able to disperse them before. Dan: Ssh. Naughty. > They simply absorbed all the energy being poured into them. One, with a > javelin, then turned on Jupiter, bellowed a roar, and emitted a bolt of > lightning from the javelin. It slammed into Jupiter's chest and sent her > hurtling across the room. Rebecca: [Jupiter] NO! Thousands of dollars worth of surgery going to waste! Tsuneo: I really worry about her. Dan: Panty shot! Panty shot! Tsuneo: And him. Rick: That had better have killed her. It'd be just silly if she got up again. Dan: But they always get up from blasts like that. Rick: My point exactly. > "We can't just stand here," All: Yes we can! > cried out Lita, and barged past Cyllene. She > barelled straight into the dark form, and wobbled slightly from the > collision, reaching out to grab something as both of them fell. Her hands > caught the javelin, and as she fell it came out of the dark warrior's > hands. The javelin gone from it, it coalesced into a more solid shape, > seemingly made of stone but still pitch black. > Lita, however felt the power in the javelin she had just grasped. It > called out to her soul, and instantly she new waht to do. She jumped to > her feet, thrust the javelin skyward, and called out to the heavens, > "Jupiter Thunder Javelin Power!" Instanty, bolts of lightning flowed down > from the javelin, surrounding her. It clung to her body then magically > solidified into her new outfit. she wore a white tunic with long sleeves > that came down to cover the backs of her hands and white leggins tucked > into her traditional green boots. Over that was an silver breastplate > ornately decorated with an emerald leaf design, and similarly decorated > silver bracers, waist and leg guards. The javelin had turned from cold > metal to an oaken shaft tipped with a silver end. Tsuneo: And all this comes from just _happening_ to grab the _right_ weapon which _conveniently_ gives her back her powers with a boost! Rick: Smile and nod. Tsuneo: No! This is the dumbest plot contrivance I've _ever_ seen! Rebecca: Why can't I ever find an AK-47 like that? > She called out to the silent room. "I am Sailor Warrior Jupiter!" > Chapter 7 by Jinas. Rebecca: Ooh! Our mysterious voice is back! Dan: [To ceiling] You're worthless! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tsuneo: Graph of collective authours' brainwave patterns. > Serena's jaw dropped open. "Wow." Rebecca: [Serena] You never dress up like _that_ for me! > Raye got a thought and jumped one of the other shadows, wrenching a > glittering red weapon from it.  The shadow-creature disappeared in a swirl > of darkness. Dan: But the last one stayed there! What ever happened to consistency? Rick: This is a multi-authour. There's no such thing. Tsuneo: Hey, there's no such thing in most fanfics anyway. Deal with it. > Raye grinned to herself.  "All right!" Rebecca: [Raye] Something new to break! > she whooped and held > the weapon high in one hand. "Mars Flare Glaive Power!"  Abruptly a red > light exploded around Raye and flashed brilliantly. Dan: Convenient... > The fiery light hung around Raye and coalesced into a deep-red body suit.  > From her toes up her shins as well as from her fingertips to mid-forearms > a softer red light shone and formed into metallic looking boots and > gloves. Rick: Boots and gloves on her arms _and_ legs? Dan: I'm sure that's not what he meant... > A silvery-red breastplate Dan: Don't you dare. Rebecca: I wasn't going to say a thing! > solidified with a red crystal over her > heart.  The weapon in her hand now glared and glittered with a fiery inner > light. "I am Sailor Warrior Mars!" Rick: I am desparately searching for my barf bag. > She smiled.  "You know, you guys should really try this some time," Rebecca: We've tried everything else. Dan: Grr... > she > murmured while glancing at Serena, Amy, and Mina.  Mina and Amy looked at > each other and nodded, Rick: Off. > then darted toward the two remaining shadows. Tsuneo: You know, this is just too ridiculously convenient. > Mina ducked under the burnished gold weapon that a shadow swung at her > head.  She kicked out, causing it to fall over.  "Talk about your picker- > upper," Mina muttered as the creature jumped back up and swung at her > again.  This time, instead of ducking, she grabbed the gold-glinted staff > and jerked as hard as she possibly could. Dan: No. Don't. Just Don't. Rebecca: What? You think I live only to make filthy-minded comments? I can make intelligent comments to, you know. > It came free of the dark > creature's hands.  The weapon called out to her soul and Mina closed her > eyes.  "Venus Light Staff Power!" Tsuneo: Wake me when it gets credible. Dan: It's the deep sleep chamber for you then. Rebecca: Zzzzzzzz. > Meanwhile, Amy jumped over what looked like a spike of ice, then ducked > almost immediately as the shadow whipped around and swung it at her head. Tsuneo: Sorry, no. This requires athletic ability. > She glanced at a flash beside her, Rebecca: Standing there in his dorky red costume. > then screamed.  The shadow had taken > advantage of the distraction to make a good slice across her arm with the > ice spike.  She fell back, watching the blood well from the wound. "Uh > oh." Tsuneo: Yay! Rick: Uh oh? A greevious arm wound is just an 'Uh oh?' What pray tell deserves an 'ouch?' Decapitation? Tsuneo: Please. Dan: Don't tempt me. > "Amy!  Behind you!"  Serena screeched [All clutch their ears] > at the top of her lungs Rick: Like she talks any other way. > from the other side of the room. Tsuneo: Hey, you could hear her from the other side of the planet! Rick: In fact, I could probably hear her if she was on Wyoming. Tsuneo: Will you shut up about that place? > Immediately Amy ducked, jumped, rolled a few feet > away, and jumped back on her feet. `Thank goodness for gym,' Rebecca: Which you never attended, you little nurke. > she thought silently to herself. Tsuneo: The usual way to do it. Dan: Hah! Let's see Ayanami do that! Tsuneo: That's lame. Relying on OOC fanfics to support your arguments. Dan: She could do it anyway! Rick: Oh, no. [Puts on a helmet.] Rebecca: I should have a holy war alarm installed. > "Venus Light Ray Envelop!" Dan: Not again... Rick: Steel Alloy Kick! Tsuneo: Shi Chi Hokodan! Rebecca: Wave Motion Gun! Tsuneo: You're not getting into the spirit of things. > a bright flash of light permeated every > corner. The last shadow wailed and disappeared, its ice weapon clattering > to the floor.  Amy picked it up and felt it call out to her softly.  > "Mercury Ice Scythe Power!" Rick: Long Haired Hippy Deathscythe Power! Dan: [Bored] Small Annoying Gnat Thing High Pitched Buzzing Noise Power. > Suddenly, Serena screamed.  'Misty' grabbed her and fled. Rebecca: [Serena] Don't grab me _there!_ > Chapter 8 by Zelinath Dan: Bless you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tsuneo: Police line. Do not cross. Rick: Caution: Fresh blood. > Prologue > "ARRGH!!!" Sailor Time clutched her head. Rick: [Drunk] Why is the room going round and round? > Luna, concerned, looked up at the scout that just moments before had been > Rini. "Ri- Sailor Time! What's wrong?" Dan: The fact that they're twisting the characters and ruining continuity and... Rick: Whoah! Cool it! Tsuneo: [Rini] And I'm caught in... All: A crappy fanfic. Rebecca: Yeah, yeah, enough already. > "I don't know-- Its' like I'm being pulled apart--! Tsuneo: Please, oh please let her be right! > NNNNN!" Rebecca: About the most intelligent thing anyone's said in this fic. > Glowing, she > crumpled in pain. "Luna!...Help!" The girl shimmered and disappeared. All: [Cheers] > "Rini!" Luna looked at Artemis. "She's gone..." Rick: [Cat] But hey, look on the bright side. She's gone! > "Something must've happened to Serena..." Tsuneo: Hooray! Rick: I wish. ------------- > "Serena!" the girls cried out in unison. Rick: ADRIAN!!! Rebecca: DYSON!!! Dan: MASTER VAN!!! Tsuneo: [Falls on floor gagging.] Dan: What happened? Rick: Cuteness overload. > "No! where is that thing taking her?" demanded Lita. Rebecca: Preferably as far away as possible. > The goddesses looked down sadly. "To the Dark Dimension, I'm afraid," > Athena said quietly. Dan: That bodes. > "'Dark Dimension?'" Amy repeated. "Where is that?" Rick: [Holly] Well, it's a dimension, right, what's dark, hence the name 'The Dark Dimension.' > Athena shook her head. "No one knows where, as no one's ever come back to > tell about it. I'm sorry, girls, I'm afraid your friend is gone forever." Rick: And there was much rejoicing. All: Hooray! > Tears in her eyes, Raye said defiantly, "She can't be. We'll find this > Dark Dimension and rescue Serena even if it kills us." Tsuneo: Yes, please! Go right ahead! > "Yeah," agreed Mina. "We've got to. I mean, where would the Sailor Scouts > be without Sailor Moon?" Rebecca: A lot better off. > "Did someone call me?" asked a voice from the shadows. It sounded like > Serena. Tsuneo: [Puts one finger in ear] Yup, no mistaking that voice. > As everyone turned around, a young woman stepped forth, wearing Sailor > Moon's costume. She even looked like Serena, except... Tsuneo: It wasn't. Dan: Wouldn't be the first time. > "Serena, what happened to your face?" asked Amy. Rick: We'd know if you told us what it looked like. Dan: Oh, no. > "And your hair?" Lita added. Rick: Whatever it is, it's got to be an improvement. Dan: Please, no. They've messed with the characters enough already! > For besides looking quite a few years older, this Sailor Moon had a scar > across her right eye, which was clearly blind, and wore her hair in a > multicoloured mohawk. Dan: No! Please, can't you leave anything how it is? Isn;t there one little scrap left in this story to keep as a link to the series? [Begins crying] Curse you all! Rebecca: Gods, what a wuss. Rick: And I suppose behind her will be Mars with a half headshave, smoking a dodgy cigarette and wearing a baggy singlet. Rebecca: I think about two people got that one. > She answered simply, "Times have changed." Tsuneo: [Sings] The times, they are a changing... Rick: Don't you ever, ever do that again. > "Since we got here half an hour ago?" Raye asked crossly. Rebecca: I believe I said something about the word 'time?' Rick: [Q] You're not thinking four-dimensionally, Picard. > Sailor Moon went over and slapped her across the face, Dan: [Wailing] NOOOO!!!! IS NOTHING SACRED??? Rick: Nope. > leaving behind a red handprint. Rebecca: [Serena] I'll have that back, thank you! > "No, since you left me here alone seven years ago!" Dan: GHARG! NO! SHE CAN'T GROW UP! SHE CAN'T BE BITTER AND EVIL! GNYAAARRG!! Rebecca: Hit the deck! > Chapter 9 by Naia Zifu > Prologue by Adam ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Dan pulls a laser pistol out of a hidden holster in his artificail leg and fires it at the TV, blasting out the screen and sending sparks flying. He then collapses back onto the couch, sobbing.] Rebecca: Talk about your temper tantrums. Rick: Like you're one to talk. Voice: Oh, great. Now we'll have to put the fanfic on hold until I can get the TV replaced. Tsuneo: Thank god. Then we can leave. [Gets up to leave, but the door to the flat is locked.] Hey, what gives? Voice: Sorry, but you're not allowed to go until the entire fanfic has been viewed. Rebecca: Oh, gawds. Rick: Please let it end now! ---Blip!--- Rick: Well, that whole experience totally sucked. Rebecca: True, too true. Rick: Anyway, here's the obligitory free plugs & credits. The Fic was riffed by Rick R. Mortis & Jinas (rickr@one.net.au), using characters they created for various RPG campaigns. Dan & Tsuneo are copyright 1995-1998 Max Fauth (Jinas) and Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-1998 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Rebecca: And the first one to make any comments on MY sexuality gets a napalm enema. Rick: Uhhh.... Charming. Dan: [Moaning] Sailor Time.... Rick: Anyway, visit Jinas' page (aka Jinas' Realm) home of a crappy BCG Fic (which is currently being MSTed by Crazy Ghost - foster@powerup.com.au), lotsa BGC RPG Stuff and other weirdness. It's at: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/index.htm Tsuneo: You do that too well! Rebecca: Anyway, also see Rick's page. It's got a Robotech fanfic starring Me! Rick: Which is pretty crappy too. Rebecca: Anyway... It's also got Robotech & Macross to Mekton Zeta conversions, the Internet's most pedantic collection of AntiKevs and an... UTTERLY DISTUBING NOVA SATORI SHRINE????? What kind of sicko is this guy?! Tsuneo: What's so special about her anyway? Dan: [Moaning] Sailor Time... Rick: Beats me. Rebecca: Anyway, the whole mess is at: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm Tsuneo: And our thanks go to Mike Surbrook (susano@access.digex.net) for the format and Tina (tina97@mailexcite.com) for being such a good sport. See ya next time! Rick: Let's get a beer. Dan: [Moaning] Sailor Time... Rebecca: Oh, shut up. > The streets, while completely devoid of people, gave the distinct > feeling of being watched. The air was thick with a heavy funk, a smell > tangible in its putridness. Tsuneo: Heavy funk? Rick: A fat guy with an afro and a medallion. Dan: [Stoned] Funky, man.