Here we go again - second part of Tina's World: Chaos in Time. It just keeps getting better... Yeah, right. Sailor Moon is copyright Naoko T./DIC. Tina's world is copyright 1997- 98 Tina and contributing authours, of which I'm ashamed to say I'm one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette.] [Rick wanders in wearing a camoflage jacket and a helmet and carrying a microphone.] Rick: I'm here near the front lines of the ongoing Ayanami/Mizuno holy war. It's a messy battle, with both sides simply discarding tactics and charging headlong at each other over the battlefield. To date, hundreds of soldiers have been killed on both sides in a conflict that threatens to boil over and rend asunder all of Geocities/Tokyo. Rebecca: [Off camera] We can only hope. Rick: But what of the innocents caught in the middle of this bloody conflict? Sadly, both sides are escalating the conflict, irrespective of who get caught in the way. A tragic reminder of the effects this war is having on innocent bystanders; this child's teddy bear. [Camera pans over to a battered teddy bear lying on top of a pile of cusions.] Rebecca: [Off camera] Ah, that's just Damien's teddy bear. Rick: [Puts down microphone] Ah, nuts. You went and ruined the whole thing. Dan: [Walking on] Hey guys, what's happening? Rebecca: Rick reporting live from the war front for Globelink News. Dan: Huh? Rick: Never mind. Too sophisticated for a lout like you. Dan: Watch it. Tsuneo: [Off camera] Cut it out, you guys. [They wander over to the couches, and the camera pans to follow them. Tsuneo is sitting on one of the couches, reading a large book intently.] Dan: What you got there? Tsuneo: Sun Tzu's Art of War. Rick: Whoah! Heavy stuff. Rebecca: Not quite. [Reaches behind book and pulls the 'Grunge the Movie' graphic novel from where Tsuneo had it hidden.] Geez, and I thought Dan was immature. Dan: Hey! Tsuneo: You're no fun anymore. Voice: Hello again. Dan: Hey there! Good to hear from you. Voice: If you wouldn't mind being seated, we can begin on part two of Tina's world, now that the TV's been repaired. Rick: Do we have a choice? [They all sit; Rick next to rebecca on the couch facing the TV, and Dan sits next to Tsuneo on the perpendicular couch.] Rebecca: How about something less painful, like bashing our heads against brick walls? Tsuneo: Can I have my comic back? Rebecca: Nuh-uh. We're all suffering together. Voice: Oh, and Rebecca, please try and moderate your comments this time round. Rebecca: I'm sorry. I just... It was the subject. Those scouts got to me. Dan: In what way, I wonder. Rebecca: Dan, another comment like that, and you'll find yourself without a spleen. Voice: Dan, I'll also need you to hand over your weapon. [Dan grumbles and puts it on the kitchen bench, then returns to his seat.] You too, Tsuneo. Tsuneo: [Draws sword] You can have this when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. Voice: [Gulp] Aah... Okay, just put it on the ground, and let's all forget about it. [Tsuneo does so.] [The TV screen lights up] > Tina's world Tsuneo: Two blocks down from Movie World. > Sailor Moon: Rick: [Camp] Hello sailor! > Chaos in Time. > A multi-authour fanfiction. Rebecca: And a mulit-authour riffing. > The Present Dan: For me? You shouldn't have! > "Rubeus," the voice summoned.  Rubeus came, unhappy.  He knew why Wiseman > called him. Rebecca: No. I promised. > That's why he was unhappy. Rebecca: Because it's his turn to wear the Sailor Suit. Tsuneo: Stop that! > Granted, he hadn't completely > failed, but with the destruction of the Time Key... well, it wasn't quite > a plus on his record. Rick: Are there any plusses on his record? Tsuneo: His mum's going to be angry when she sees his report card. > Approaching Wiseman he kneeled.  "Wiseman, I await your command." [Dan gives Rebecca an evil glare. She looks innocently back at him.] Rebecca: What? > "Well, Rubeus, I sent you to do something, and you actually did it. That's > a first.  Congratulations."  He clapped sarcastically.  Rubeus stiffened. > "However, you have lost my Time Key.  Do you realize what this means?" Rick: Napalm enema time? Tsuneo: That would be very painful. Rick: That was the idea. > "I will go retrieve the pieces at once." Dan: [Inferno] Yes, my queen! Rick: [Megatron] I do wish he'd stop calling me that. Tsuneo: This is of course ignoring the fact that he couldn't find his nose with a map. Rebecca: Let's see him stuff this one up. > "WRONG!" Wiseman countered.  "Fool, you can't! All: We know that. > The remaining pieces were > thrown into the beam!  They're now in the future whenever you sent those > annoying Scouts.  There's nothing we can do about it now." Rebecca: [Rubeus] Right then! I'll write a memo to myself in the future! Tsuneo: [Hades] Memo, to me, from me, find pieces of time scepter and kill scouts. > Rubeus gritted his teeth. Rebecca: It had been snowing, and the car couldn't get any traction. > Wiseman sat back in his throne.  "Don't fret, Rubeus, you've done well. > Now, with Sailor Moon out of the way, we can begin our onslaught on a > world rich and ripe for the picking." Rick: Who is this wiseman anyway? Rebecca: A convenient target? Tsuneo: A bad plot element? Rebecca: A good example of L.W? Dan: L.W? Rebecca: Lazy Writer. Rick: I'm so glad I asked. > Rubeus smiled. > The Future Rick: Meanwhile, back in the aftermath... Dan: The morning after the night before. > The Scouts gawked at the mohawked girl.  "Sailor Moon, is it really you?" Tsuneo: [Serena] No, I'm a frost-free fridge. > "Of course it is. Tsuneo: A fridge, that is. > Do you need me to go through the whole spiel?  'I am > Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice, yadda yadda yadda."  She recited her > battle cry, all in a half mocking tone. Rick: Thank you so much to the writer for sparing us that small indignity. Rebecca: As opposed to her voice actress, who usually does it in a completely mocking tone. Rick: You're right you know. I once read an interview with her voice actress. She made even Dan look like a genius. Dan: Er, thanks... I think. > "You've really changed, haven't you Serena," Jupiter murmured, astonished. Rebecca: No shit, Sherlock. Dan: [Serena] Naw, this is just my halloween costume. > "I know," she replied sadly. Dan: [Serena] It took me hours to put it on. > "Serena..." Mars said, fingering the sore, red mark on her face. Tsuneo: [Mars, angry] How dare you slap me! That's my schtick! Rebecca: Ah... I'd better not. Dan: Good girl. > Sailor Venus shook her head.  "I can't believe it. Rick: Neither can we. Tsuneo: Yeah. How does someone that blonde get to save the world? Rick: Destiny, I'm afraid. Rebecca: You mean density. Dan: Stop that right now! Rebecca: Oh, what's the matter Dan? We beating up on your girlfriend? > How could this be true? Tsuneo: [Announcer] Through the miracles of bad fanfiction and plot contrivances. > You've aged seven years in 30 seconds?" Rick: [Q] You're not thinking fourth-dimensionally, Picard. > The mohawked girl looked frustrated.  "How am I supposed to know?  Since > when was I a science whiz?" Tsuneo: Since never. > "Speaking of a science whiz..." Jupiter stopped, concerned.   "What > happened to Amy?  Don't tell me we lost her too!" Rebecca: And there was much rejoicing. Tsuneo: [Bored] Yay. Rick: She's just gone to change into her- Dan: Stop right there! Rick: What? > Sailor Moon frowned.  "So they've started already..." Rick: No we started at the introduction. Pay attention. > she muttered. "Come > on, we can save her, but only if we go to the Dark Tower now." Rick: Insert dramatic music here. Dan & Tsuneo: Dum-dum-duuhh! Rebecca: What's the bets it's covered with vines? They always are, you know. > The three > remaining Scouts looked at each other. "Come on, do you want to save her > or not?" Rebecca: Not. > What choice did the scouts have? Rebecca: Not saving her? Tsuneo: Nope. Fanfiction, remember? > They followed Sailor Moon and were soon on their way. > "Guys, guess what?" Tsuneo: We're in a bad fanfic, we know. > Sailor Mercury entered the chamber, Dan: Hey, where'd she come from? Rebecca: She fell out of a convenient plot contrivance. > followed by > Athena and Cyllene.  "Look what I--" Mercury was faced with an empty room. > "What happened to everyone?" Tsuneo: The fanfic ate them. Rebecca: Please. Rick: Although it had diabetes and died. The end. > Chapter 10 by Double E. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Tracks of a one-legged kangaroo. Tsuneo: I'm trying, but I just can't imagine that. > In a flash of light, an adolescent girl with green hair and a blue and > black sailor fuku appeared before them. Rebecca: You watch your language, young man! Dan: No, it's a perfectly valid word. Rick: Huh? Dan: It's the Japanese word that often gets translated as 'sailor suit,' and is used for both their school and scout uniforms. Rebecca: Fanboy. Tsuneo: So why doesn't he just write it in english? Rick: Because he's a worse fanboy than Dan. > "Amy!" the girl cried, hugging her.  "I was afraid I'd never see you > again!" [Everyone stares at Rebecca] > Amy seemed confused.  "Do I know you?" Tsuneo: PLOT CONTRIVANCE! Rick: [Liverpudlian accent] So it didn't mean anything to you when we did it behind the pool table in the officer's club. Rebecca: [Haughty] You didn't tell me about that! Rick: [Liverpudlian] Well I thought you might've noticed! [Tsuneo stares gobsmacked at them] Dan: Okay, you two, leave it until after the fic. > "You don't recognize me?" she said with a pout. Rick: [Liverpudlian] Obviously you didn't notice. > "I'm Rini, but you can call me 'Sailor Time'." Dan: AARRGGHH!! Rebecca: You know, if he was Tom, his head would have exploded by now. > Sailor Time giggled, Tsuneo: Oh no... I feel a cuteness attack coming on. > and Amy knew right away it > was Rini.  She smiled and hugged her, then stepped back to have a look. Rebecca: Are you guys getting worried by this too? [Others all nod] > "Rini, you've grown so much," Rebecca: Trust her to notice. Voice: [Ahem] Rebecca? Rebecca: Sorry. That one was just asking for it. > she said.  "Have we been gone that long?" > "Yes.  No.  I don't know. Tsuneo: No, you don't, do you? Dan: Six? Nine? Aspirin? Mice? Fiberglass? Tsuneo: What? Dan: I'm going for the realistic answers. > This time travel stuff is so confusing," Rick: This fanfic is so confusing. > Rini whined.  "Hey, where are all the others?" Tsuneo: I'd say 'in a crappy fanfic,' but she's here too. Rebecca: And you've done it to death. > "That's what I'd like to know," answered Amy, looking worried.   "They > were here a moment ago.  I left the room only briefly, and when I came > back they were gone.  I just wanted to show them this..." > "Ooh," gasped Rini.  "A piece of the Time Key!" Tsuneo: Just a thought... How does she know what it is? Rick & Rebecca: PLOT HOLE! > When she touched it, it began to glow brilliantly. Dan: [Kyle] Whoah, dude! Check it out! > Startled, she drew back, and it returned to > normal.  "Where did you find it?" > "It fell on my head," Rick: Making a hollow ringing noise. Dan: Grr... Tsuneo: [Amy] I really needed those brain cells! I haven't got many to spare! Dan: GGGRRR!!! > Amy replied, blushing.  "Cyllene and Athena took me > aside to discuss what's happened to Serena, Rebecca: I'll bet. Tsuneo: Rebecca! Dan: Must... kill... Rebecca... > and out of nowhere it just fell on me." Tsuneo: It fell out of a plot hole, obviously. > Rini nodded.  "I knew something happened to her.  I could feel it, like I > was being turned inside out or something. Dan: Oh look! There's her spleen! > Next thing I knew I was some- > when else, and I've been looking for her ever since." Tsuneo: Hold on, pause. [The fanfic pauses.] Now, this is a big one. If she can travel through time, why not go back and undo his plot in the first place? Rebecca: Sshh. Tsuneo: No, seriously. I mean, Rubeus could have done something just like that in chapter one, but instead, he sends them to fight him in the future. Doesn't anyone think about this kind of thing before submitting? Rebecca: They're fanfic authours. Thinking is something they're incapabale of. Rick: You hear that, Mr. great big head in the sky. Voice: Yes. [The tape unpauses.] > Cyllene asked, "How long ago was that?" Rick: Oh, a few chapters. > "I don't know," repeated Rini. Tsuneo: [Rini] I haven't been paying attention to the fanfic. Rebecca: You're not the only one. > "All I know is that I haven't been back home yet and I really miss it." Dan: Which home? Crystal Tokyo, or Serena's place to scam off her parents. Tsuneo: Do they actually have names or anything? Just a thought. Rebecca: Mr. & Mrs. Domestic. > "Well, if you were about six when we left," began Amy, rubbing her chin > thoughtfully.  "I'd say you've been time-travelling... for about seven > years." All: Hmmmm... > Elsewhere-- Rick: Where we'd rather be. > Rubeus smiled. Dan: He does that a lot. > The image of the Sailor Warriors faded in the viewing globe, Dan: So suddenly he's in the Power Rangers' command center? [Tsuneo falls to the floor, gagging] Rick: Just a brown-out. > leaving him > alone in his throne room with his new found prisoner. Rick: [Rubeus] I just found her in the dungeon. Can I keep her, please? > He rose from his > throne and strode over to the vine-like wall where Serena was entrapped; Rebecca: See! Vines! I told you! Tsuneo: This is a really big chapter. Rick: Maybe we were extra bad? > her arms and legs absorbed into the wall.  Her eyes blinked open, and she > raised her head to look Rubeus in the eye. Dan: Plural. Usually. > "Welcome back, Princess," he said mockingly. Dan: Okay, another plot hole. The villains never actually know who they are, let alone that she's the moon princess. Rebecca: Fanboy. Tsuneo: [Shocked] She's royalty? Talk about in-breeding. Rebecca: Case for the republic no. 995. > Serena let out a little yell of astonishment, then looked around.   "Where > am I, what have you done," she cried piteously. Rebecca: [Serena] Where are my underpants? Dan: Ahem... Rebecca: Ah, bite me. > "You're my guest in this palace.  I've waited so long to make up for what > your vile brat did to me." Tsuneo: You mean Rini? Now he's talking sense. I'd like to wring her neck too. Dan: What for? Tsuneo: Crimes against humanity. Rebecca: Read: Overwhelming cuteness. Rick: Take a number and get in line. > "What are you talking about?"  Rubeus stepped forward out of the shadows > and held her chin in his hand.  Serena gasped as she got a clear look at > his face.  His left eye was obscured by a mass of scar tissue, and he had > long scars all over the left side of his face. Dan: [Winces] Ow. That makes two with nasty facial scars. Rebecca: Probably indicating a lack of originality on the authour's part. Tsuneo: Do I spot a trend forming? > "Your child did this, but I will soon have my revenge on both you and your > friends."  He smiled evilly.  "They are being led straight into a trap." Rick: Oh, man. Did this guy go to villain's school, or what. Rebecca: [Doctor Evil] Now put her in an overtly elaborate but easily escapable deathtrap, explain all our plans to her simply and clearly, and then leave her alone, unguarded to die. > "They'd never fall for that!" Tsuneo: Watch 'em. > "Oh, they already have. Tsuneo: See? > You see, they're being led by my agent-- you > after I extract my revenge for seven years!" Rick: I notice that number coming up a lot. Rebecca: Funny, that. > Chapter 11 by Naia Zifu. > Elsewhere by Jinas. Tsuneo: That explains it. Rebecca: Oh, Mr. great big head in the sky? Someone's not happy... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: South Australia/Northern Territory border. Please declare all your dingoes before you enter. > Serena's eyes widened.  "I would never give in to you like that!!  > Never!!" Rick: Acting! > "We'll just see about that."  Rubeus grinned evilly and held his hand up. > "Let the torture begin." All: YAY! ----------- Tsuneo: That was a short... Oh, sorry. > "So, how are we going to do this? Rebecca: I will be strong. > Your friends have left and we can't contact them," asked Athena. Dan: What about those little communicators they had? Rebecca: Ssh. Naughty. > "Sailor Time, you can transport us through time, right?" > "No...until I can get the Time Key fixed, I can only send myself through > time." Dan: Great. Can you go get me a burger? Rick: Go back in time and make it so we never answer this stupid ad? Rebecca: Go back in time and make it so this thing was never written. Tsuneo: And I thought I was mean. > Sailor Mercury fidgeted with her earring and her visor materialized.  "My > readings say that there are...two Sailor Moons?!?!" Tsuneo: Hang on... how does she get that? Rick: And if it can detect them, why can't it locate them? Rebecca: Quiet, guys. You'll induce head explosions. [All look thoughtfully at Dan.] > Cyllene giggled. Tsuneo: Cuteness! Ack! Bleagh! > "Relax, there's no surprise there, Lady Mercury.  There > are two Sailor Moons because there's the one from this time and the one > from your time." Rick: [Timone] And everyone's okay with this? Rebecca: Two Sailor Moons... Now there's a justifiable cause for planet destruction weapons. Rick: That's not as funny as you think. Dan: Just a thought... But by that reasoning, does it mean that there are two of all of them? All: AARRGGHH!! > "Of course...something's wrong, though...I'd like to do some more scans, > but I don't have time now.  We have to go to this dark dimension Dan: I thought it was a tower. Tsuneo: Now, it was the dark dimension first. Dan: Not a tower? Tsuneo: No, then it became a tower. Dan: And then the dark dimension again? Tsuneo: Good boy. Dan: Fine. When can I go home? > and get Ser-" > "No, Mercury.  You have to stay here, in case your friends return.  > Besides, you have powers that will need sharpening after your powerup.  > The Ice Scythe is a strong weapon and you need to learn to use it > properly," Rick: How do you know about this ice scythe anyway? [All sit in silence for a moment.] > Cyllene insisted.  She took Mercury into a battle-worn room for > training.  Athena and Sailor Time were left alone to discuss their ideas. ----------- Tsuneo: Now that is a good question, Rick. Rick: Well? > The Sailor Scouts walked behind their older, stronger leader.  Raye felt Rebecca: Someone grabbing her rear end. > a pang in the back of her mind, and recognized it as a premonition. Rebecca: That someone was about to grab her rear end. > "Lita," she whispered, "something's wrong...very wrong." Tsuneo: No. Not even I'm going to flog a dead horse that much. > "Raye, shut up.  We have more important things to worry about!" Rick: Oh, sure. Don't listen to the evil detector. Rebecca: That's on/off detect evil, by the way. Like, when it's right under her nose. > Lita sped up to get away from her. > Raye walked to Mina. Rebecca: [Raye] Well, I just blew it with her, I think I'll try and pick up another one. [Pause] Ain't anyone going to get me for that? Dan: I haven' the heart anymore. Rick: I haven't felt this bad since part 2 of Indy Macross. > "Mina, there's something wrong.  I have a bad > feeling about this Serena." > "Raye, that's only because she slapped you. Tsuneo: And stole your schtick. > Relax, we have to find our Serena and Amy." Dan: [Mina] I don't want to miss out on the fun! Rebecca: Honestly, Dan. Dan: I... I don't know what came over me. > They came upon a tall, dark tower. Dan: I'm not going to think about it. Tsuneo: Where are the vines? > Sailor Moon turned her face away from > the group, and a black moon glowed in her tiara. Rick: That's a damn big headpiece. Rebecca: Of course, how a black thing can glow... Tsuneo: Now that's just getting petty. > [Master Rubeus, I have three Sailor Scouts for you.  I will be arriving > shortly.] Dan: [Rubeus] Fine, excpet they're the Sailor Warriors now, remeber? Tsuneo: That's one to make me proud. > [You pathetic weakling.  Why aren't you bringing four?!] Rebecca: [Serena] I've only got two arms! > [Mercury could not be found!] Rebecca: She was busy at a sci-fi convention in amongst all the anoraks. Rick: The plug was still being inserted into unit 00 Dan & Tsuneo: Rick! > [I will overlook your failure for now.  Bring them here.] Tsuneo: I have this sickening sense of Deja Vu, like... Rick: Rubeus is about to goof up big time? Tsuneo: No, more like Serena's about to goof up. She's the minion now, remember? > [Yes, master.] Rick: [Igor] I am at your beck and call master! > Sailor Moon's tiara returned to normal and she led the three into the > tower.  Suddenly, Serena's voice cried out, "Help me!!"  Without a word, > they dashed into the black tower.  But no matter what anyone else said, > Raye could not shake the feeling in the back of her mind. Rebecca: Or on the back of her... [Evil stares all round] Rebecca: Sorry. > Chapter 12 by Silver Starr. Rebecca: Guilty of bad fanfiction and gross misspelling. Dan: It's a bad sign when you can't even spell your name right. Rick: But you don't even know your name! Dan: True. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tsuneo: [Lecturer] And here we can see the constellation boredom. > As Serena gawked at Rubeus's mangled face, a new figure approached Dan: [Announcer] Chaos in Time action figures now available. Rebecca: [Ditto] Fanfic sold separately. Talent not included. > followed by three bound and hooded forms.  "I have brought them for you, > Master," said the mohawked one.  Rubeus's face lit up with something akin > to a smile, while Serena's jaw dropped. Tsuneo: CLANG! Rick: [Rubeus] Pick that up, lackey. Dan: Which Serena? > "Dispose of them now," Rick: [Rubeus] But in an envornmentally friendly way. Tsuneo [Ditto] It's garbage collection day tomorrow. Rebecca: Then we'd better evict this fanfic. > he ordered with a wave of his hands.  "Make it > painful for their friend to watch," he added as an afterthought. ALL: He thinks! > The mohawked one ripped off the hoods Dan: Making tacky copies to sell in Hong Kong. > and shoved the three Sailor Warriors Tsuneo: See? Rick: Wait a sec, the last I saw, they were dashing off into the tower. Now they're all bound, bagged and hooded. What happened? > to the ground.  Gruffly, All: GRUFF! > she put a foot on Mina's back and held her hands > out before her.  A sword of shadow formed in her outstretched hands, > glinting with dark energy. Rick: But Mr. Morden then sued her for plagarism. > She raised the sword high, aiming for Mina's neck. Rebecca: Yay! >  After a moment's suspense, the blade plumetted down and Serena screamed... Rick: Does she ever do anything else? Tsuneo: Finally, some suspense! Dan: I have a bad feeling about this... > Chapter 13 by Sailor Dragon. Dan: Why would a dragon need to sail? It can fly. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rebecca: The path of a unicycle with a square wheel. > A withered rose Dan: Oh, god, no! Please not him! This ALWAYS happens! Why can't they EVER fight for themselves? Rick: Because they're a bunch of whiny little twerps who have problems tying their own shoelaces. Rebecca: Ever wonder why Mars always wears high heels? > streaked across the room, embedding itself deep within the > fiend's sword hand.  The sword clattered to the ground Dan: But... She summoned it. Wouldn't it just evaporate there and then? Rick: Added to that was that she was still holding it over Mina's head and... Hey! > and evaporated as Dan: Fair enough. > its bearer shrieked with pain.  All eyes turned to the source of the rose > - a dark man with a cape, cane, tall hat, and a black mask. Dan: White mask. Tsuneo: What is this, a fancy dress ball? Rebecca: No, he always dresses like that. Tsuneo: Doesn't ANYONE around here wear armour? Rick: Nup. Dan: It would be no fun if they did. Rebecca: Perv. > "Tuxedo Mask!" Serena cried. Rick: As always. Rebecca: Now who saw that coming? > It was Rubeus's turn to gawk as he stared at Tuxedo. Tsuneo: Yes, surprise, surprise, it's a suit on a rack. Now, if he stared at Tuxedo Mask... Rick: What's so surprising about a suit? Dan: I'll bet he's seven years older and badly scarred. > "I thought I'd gotten rid of you," he mumbled.  "Looks like I'll have to > do the job right this time." Rebecca: [Rubeus] Next ime, I'll use Raid! Rick: He never does the job right! Tsuneo: Why start now and break the habit of a lifetime? > Tuxedo Mask leapt down, cane in hand.  In the light, everyone could see > his battle scars: A scarred neck, a slightly marred hand, a slash running > from above the hairline down to under his chin, and another slash running > from his ear to under the collar of his tuxedo. [Stunned silence] Tsuneo: You win. Dan: I wish I hadn't. > "En garde," he said dryly, readying his cane.  At this, Rubeus grinned and > produced a sword made of black crystal. Rick: I wonder what Freud would say about this scene. Tsuneo: He'd probably say 'Help, help, I'm stuck in a bad fanfic!' Rebecca: Does that horse get any deader? Tsuneo: And what's wrong with steel? Perfectly good material for a sword... Rebecca: Of course, Rubeus would feel like a right burke if he suddenly drew a pistol and shot him. > Both men fell into a ready stance. All: AAAHH! WE'RE FALLING! > Chapter 14 by Sailor Dragon. Rick: Again? Tsuneo: These chapters are getting mighty short. Rebecca: Thank god. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: The battle of the line. > Running toward the Dark Tower were two girls--one with long, pale pink > hair placed in meatball pigtails, Dan: Oh, gods, no! > and another with long, knee-length black hair. Tsuneo: That must be so hard to wash. Dan: [Looks over at Rebecca] Yeah... Rebecca: She'd go throught a small fortune in conditioner. > The pink-haired girl wore a red and pink sailor costume, and the > black-haired girl wore brown and white. Dan: Naturally [grins] Rick: Thus making them both inviting targets for strafing runs. Rick and Rebecca: [Make WWII airplane noises] > "How did we lose Dad like that, Celeste?" asked the pink-haired girl. Tsuneo: Dad? Oh, dear... > "Don't know, Rini," Dan: Please, no. > answered Celeste.  "Dad just knew that *Mom* was going > to hurt someone and he vanished.  It isn't like he could stop being Tuxedo > Mask." Tsuneo: They've got kids? Man, I wouldn't like to be their marriage counsellor. > "I know.  Do you regret it?  Coming here from the far-future?" asked Rini. Rick & Rebecca: [More airplane noises] Tsuneo: [Celeste] Of course I do! They lost my luggage sometime in the Jurassic! > "No, Sailor Moon. Dan: NNNOOOO!!!!! GGGYYYAAARRRGGG!!!!!! NNNNOOOOO!!!! CURSE YOU PEOPLE FOREVER!!!!!! Rebecca: What a hissy little drama queen. [Pause] Where were we? Rick: JU-87s over the eastern front. Rebecca: Right. Rick & Rebecca: [Still more airplane noises] > How can I regret seeing my older sister as a kid?"  Dan: Because she was a spoilt, whiny, obnoxious, whinging, sickeningly sweet, pink-haired, little mutie! Rick: There's a term: Cute Furry Bogflop. I think it applies here. Dan: I need a drink. > Celeste smiled and stopped.  "Did you hear that?" she asked. Rick & Rebecca: ACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACK!!!!!!!! > Mimicking her younger sister, she said, "No, Sailor Earth." Dan: GGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! [He collapses to the ground in a faint.] Rick: What a girly. Rebecca: Mission accomplished. Return to base. ------------- > About fifty feet away, Sailor Mercury and Sailor Time also headed for the > Dark Tower. Rick: In unit 00 Tsuneo: What are you trying to achieve? Rick: I'm hoping to snap Dan out of it. > Safely hidden on her person, Mercury had the piece of the > Time Key.  Suddenly, Sailor Time stopped.  "Amy, stop!" > Amy stopped.  "What is it?" she asked. Rick: It's a verb indicating to cease motion, but that's not important right now. > "Something's going to happen to us," said Sailor Time. Tsuneo: Please? > Suddenly, two people knocked them onto the ground.  Sailor Mercury was > held down by Sailor Moon, Rebecca: As usual. > and Sailor Time by Sailor Earth.  Sailor Mercury > squinted at the pink-haired Sailor Moon.  "Rini?" she asked, confused. Rebecca: [Rini, embarassed] Sorry! Thought you were someone else! Dan: [From floor] Stop that. Tsuneo: Welcome back. [Helps him up onto the couch again.] > "What?" asked both Rinis.  Then they looked at each other. Rick: Now if that's not a prime target for a cluster bomb, I don't know what is. Tsuneo: [Voice of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy] ...And can be assured not to meet yourself due to the extreme embarassmet this usually causes. Rebecca: [Ditto] This is of course impossible. ------------- > Tuxedo Mask and Rubeus went at it, [All stare at Rebecca] Rebecca: What? I was not going to say a thing! Dan: Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure. > each trying to cut the other in half.  Rick: With a cane? Tsuneo: I'll cut your fats out, don't you believe it? > Tuxedo Mask seemed more experienced, for he blocked and dodged in a way > that the younger version had not been able to.  For his part, Rubeus was > very angry. Rick: [Camp] Rathputin, I'm very croth indeed! > While all this was going on, all of the past scouts ran to their Sailor > Moon.  "Serena! You okay?" asked Jupiter. Tsuneo: [Serena] No, I'm... [Normal] Aw, hell. I haven't got the heart for it any more. > "Just get me out of this!" Tsuneo: [Serena] Fanfic! [Normal] Sorry. Rebecca: [Serena] Set of clothes! [Normal] Sorry. Rick: Man, she's beginning to sound like Marta. Dan: Don't make that sound like an insult! Marta's a damned fine person! She's cool! Rick: [Whispering to Rebecca] Should we tell him? Rebecca: [Whispering to Rick] It'll just blow his brain. > whined Serena. > But the mohawked Sailor Moon created another sword and ran at them. Tsuneo: That's what, three? Rick: You know, from what I've been able to make out, shouldn't she be able to create an energy blast or something? Rebecca: Oil and water. Nitro and glycerine. Fanfics and realism. > Mars summoned her glaive and caught the sword. Tsuneo: [Mars] Ow! I cut my hand! Rick: What's a glaive anyway? Is that one of those polearmy things? Rebecca: Naw, it's a type of French herb. > "I can't believe you would betray us!" Rebecca: [Mars] And now I have to kill you! Haha! Tsuneo: [Mars] Finally! My chance! > "You left me!  You all deserve to DIE!" Rick: No argument there. > "Not this time," said Warrior Jupiter. Tsuneo: Considering this is all about time travel, that was probably meant to be funny. Rick: [Bored] Le ha ha. > The mohawked Sailor Moon then pushed Mars and her glaive away. Rick: Actually, according to Peter Walker, Glaive is the Japanese name for the Invid Shock Trooper. Rebecca: That conjures up pleasant images. Dan: You've never met an Invid, so don't you talk! Tsuneo: And anyway, it's 'Glove,' not 'Glaive.' >  She stood between them and Serena. Rick: And the Shock Trooper. > "If you want her," she said, eyeing them with revenge, Dan: I wonder how you do that? > "You'll have to get past me." > Chapter 15 by Malaur. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Slow night on interstate 96. > The three Warrior Scouts Tsuneo: Make up your mind, for crying out loud! > looked at each other and nodded.  "If that's how > you want it," Jupiter replied.  With a yell, she ran for Sailor Moon.  The > mohawked girl grinned and easily parried the strike. Tsuneo: Er, if I recall, she's using a javelin. You don't just charge someone with that. Dan: And where are their nifty powers? Thunder Dragon her into oblivion, I say. Rick: Yeah! She could have Tesla-zapped her from half-way across the screen by now. > However, this gave > Venus and Mars an opening.  Hurt, Sailor Moon staggered back. Rick: So she's hurt just from parrying. Tsuneo: It never said they actually TOOK that opening, did it? Rebecca: Or did they just move so fast that the authour can't keep up? > "Looks as if I underestimated you," Rick: Yup, fresh out of villains school. Rebecca: [Darth Vader] Never underestimate the power of the cute side. Dan: That was scary. > she panted, catching her breath.  "A > mistake to be rectified now!"  Fingers splayed, she emitted a wave of dark > energy towards the scouts. Rebecca: So why didn't you do that earlier? Tsuneo: Fanfic rules of combat. a) The more incomprehensible, the better; b) no-one thinks during a battle and c) save the actually useful attacks for last. > They fell, doubled over in pain.  With what > couldn't quite be called a smile, the future Moon turned to Serena. Rick: There's a lot of that going around. The dread not-quite-smiling disease. > "Oh no," Serena cried, backing away.  "Mercury, where are you?" Rick: Typically 57.9 million km from the sun. Dan: That was freaky. Tsuneo: Is that a set-up or what. ------Outside------- > Mercury Dan: Drat. Now I owe him a groat. > gave a perplexed look to Sailor Earth.  "Can you stop them?" she > asked. Tsuneo: [Mercury] You're the one with the remote control. > Sailor Earth looked as the two Rinis stared each other down.  "I don't > know… I've never seen anything like this before…." Rick: [Kryten] No-one has. Apparently, it's a white hole. > The Rinis were at a standoff.  They didn't seem happy to meet alternate > versions of themselves.  Rebecca: People very rarely are. Dan: Trust me. I know. > "I'm the real Rini!" > "No, I am, you green-haired freak!" Tsuneo: So we all agreee on that point. Rick: You're both little mutie freaks! > "Why you-" Tsuneo: Whoah, pause again. [Fanfic pauses.] Can I point out another glaring hole in the plot here? If the future Rini doesn't know about the other one, then she wouldn't be in this timeline, unless she's somehow NOT in Sailor Time's future. This can't happen! Rick: Careful. Your head's about to explode. Tsuneo: No, serious. I really think that one is important. Dan: Whatever. But in the meantime, how about we get this over with as quickly as possible? Play! [Tape resumes.] > CLAP!  Mercury clapped and put on her most businesslike demeanor.  "All > right, lets not get irate…  We need to save Serena," she directed to > Sailor Time. Rick: Alright, scene 1, take 1, action! > "And we need to help Dad," Sailor Earth said, guiding Sailor Moon towards > the Tower.  She looked at Mercury.  "Gee, it seems as if we're working for > the same thing.  Why don't we work together?" Rebecca: 'Cause you're a little mutie freak! > "I think that would be a grand idea," Rick: [Posh] Oh, aren't we grand? > Mercury smiled.  "What do you think, Sailor Time?" Tsuneo: I.. Naw. Rebecca: I think cabbage stinks. Rick: What? Dan: I think it's devil spirits. Rick: What? Rebecca: If I said what I'd wanted to, I would have been clobbered. > "Grrrr…" said Rini.  Suddenly there was a great flash. Rick: [Bloodnok] You filthy swines! > "What was that?" both Rinis asked. Rick: A big man in a trenchcoat. Tsuneo: A guy in a silly red costume. Dan: A space hero from the future. Rebecca: A badly spelt toilet. -------Five Minutes Earlier------ Tsuneo: That's quite a while in this fanfic. I don't think they've been in that tower- Rick: Dark dimension. Tsuneo: [Ignoring him] -for five minutes. What gives? Rick: Smile and nod. Rebecca: The perils of multi-authouring. > Rubeus struggled under the cane of Tuxedo Mask. Tsuneo: That's a dang big cane. > "It seems I can't defeat you in a fair fight." Rebecca: Man, you couldn't even beat an egg. Dan: Since when did he fight fair? > He broke away and stepped back.  "Too bad I don't play fair." Tsuneo: [Slowly] Fight. This is what is called a fight. Two people are trying to kill each other. I don't think this is a game, do you? > He crouched, gaining an aura of dark energy. Tsuneo: I can see it coming... > Tuxedo Mask paused, unfazed.  "You're outclassed here, Rubeus.  I've > learned a few tricks since last we met."  He began to glow, with energy > focusing at the tip of his cane. Tsuneo: You're stain! > Sailor Moon and Serena both turned in time to see the two men rushing > towards each other, both glowing and giving off immense amounts of > energy.  "Dark Moon Crash!!" Rubeus yelled.  "Kamen Cane Strike!!" > screamed Tuxedo. Tsuneo: Mask. > Both Serena and Sailor Moon gasped, "Don't do it!" Dan: Oh, god... Rebecca: Megaton Lay! Rick: Zeo Megasword! Tsuneo: Godslayer of hit points! > Suddenly there was a great flash. Rebecca: No, I can't do it again. Rick: [Michael Palin] That was never five minutes! > Chapter 16 by Double E. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: The plot went thataway! [All quickly turn their head snad stare to the right for a second, then back to the screen] > A crash of thunder Rebecca: Thunder obviously needs more driving lessons. > woke up the sleeping occupant of the ship.  She turned > her great green eyes Tsuneo: Oh, great green eyes, transport our unworthy souls from this fanfic. > toward the viewport.  A planet was rapidly > approaching. Too rapidly she thought dismally. Rick: So she hit it and died. The end. Tsuneo: That's my line! > She had been trapped on this ship, not really more than a capsule, for so > long that she had no idea what was going on anywhere. All: Join the club! Rick: So how do you get thunder inside a tiny little capsule? Rebecca: Maybe a quantum weather butterfly got caught in there as well. Dan: A what? Rebecca: The bloody butterfly in Beijing that flaps its wings and causes storms in California. Dan: Oookaaay. > Punching in a few commands, Tsuneo: Take that! And that! Dan: Stupid pod never listens to me! Take that! > she retrieved the data file from the computer. The screen read: >    Name- Earth >    Grav.- normal > The screen showed a picture of a lush green world. Looking outside, she > saw a sick yellow-black place. Rick: Obviously, the computer focused on L.A. > This is my kind of place, she thought. Dan: A sick yellow-black place for a sick yellow-black woman. Tsuneo: [Announcer] Planets tailored to your liking! Just call 555-WE-OWN- YOUR-ASSS today! > Suddenly, the light above her head flashed.  Rebecca: [Woman] AARGH! Indecent exposure by a light bulb! Tsuneo: Who's flogging a dead horse? > Looking behind her, she saw > the ship's main power crystal had melted. Tsuneo: Erm, given the described size of the capsule, wouldn't she be incinerated by that? Dan: And do crystals melt anyway? > The capsule's course became > erratic, and a tall dark tower loomed in front of her ship. Tsuneo: [Woman] No, officer, I was not drunk, I was flying along happily and this tower leapt out in front of me. > Her eyes widened, and she grabbed the desk Tsuneo: A desk in _how_ big a ship? > just as the ship went through the ceiling of the room with a crash. Rick: Leaving a stunned bandicoot lying on the floor. > Rubeus and Tuxedo Mask looked up to see a small spacecraft All: Capsule! > plunge though the wall.  Both of them looked surprised. Rick: You would to. Rebecca: Unless this sort of thing happened to you EVERY day. Which I doubt. Dan: Don't laugh. > The metal creaked, and what > looked like what should have been a door opened. Rick: So... What then was it? > She was tall, with very long, very bright red hair.  She raised her arms > to the ceiling.  "Ah, what a wondeful welcoming committee!  I arrive to > see all your smiling faces, none of which I recognize."  Her bright green > eyes went over all of them, one by one.  She stopped cold when her gaze > reached Rubeus.  Her eyes widened in recognition. Tsuneo: She didn't recognise anyone, remember? Rick: How about that one? Gross inconsistensy in the same paragraph. Rebecca: If those eyes get any wider, they're going to take over the world. > They both stared at one another. Dan: Wow, that _is_ cross-eyed. > "Sister!" > "Brother!" Rebecca: [Dorothy] Auntie Em! Rick: Your brother... My son... Your lover... Others: HUH? Rick: Yeah, yeah, I know, only two people got that one as well. > "What?!?!" the others screamed. Tsuneo: They said 'Sister' and 'Brother.' Rebecca: And 'Auntie Em.' Tsuneo: [Sarcasitcly] Hah ha. Rick: Are you guys deaf or something? > Chapter 17 by Silver. Rick: Any relative of Silver Starrrrr [Rolls 'R'], I wonder? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Naah... We've done that to death. > "Garnetia!  What are YOU doing here?!" asked Rubeus to the newcomer. Rick: [Garnetia] Since you seem to be doing moderately well, I thought I'd come along and mess up your plans just to save you the bother. > "You should know, Dan: But she's going to tell him anyway. > you're the one who got me exiled from the Dark Kingdom > in the first place!" Garnetia yelled back. Dan: See? > "Me?!  I had nothing to do with it, it wasn't MY fault that you got caught > trying to assassinate the Wiseman and take over rule of the Dark Moon > kingdom!" Tsuneo: Explaining a fragment of plot to the audience in the meantime. Dan: Excuse me, but don't we have a fight to get on with? You know, rescue, good versus evil, that kind of thing? Rebecca: Aah, this is too good. Put the fight on hold to watch the domestics. Dan: This whole scene seems rather familiar... > "It was YOU who betrayed me in the first place!  I should have known my > LITTLE brother had no guts or ambition."  She threw her hands up in > disgust. Tsuneo: And they bounced off the roof and hit her on the head on the way down. Rick: Sick boy. Rebecca: You're right, Dan, it does. > "No guts?! Rick: You got that right. Tsuneo: No talent, certainly. > Well I have more magical power than you a hundred times > over!! Rebecca: Very, very familiar. Dan: Don't remind me. > You, you, you spoiled brat!  No wonder Dad liked me better than > you!" Dan: That's my line! Tsuneo: Er... Does someone mind explaining this to me? Dan: No. Rebecca: He's talking about himself and his evil twin sister. Tsuneo: You're joking, right? Dan: No. Tsuneo: Please? Dan: No. > "Liked you better?!  You're the spoiled brat!  I can't believe that you > haven't been killed yet for your stupidity by Wiseman!" All: Neither can we! Rebecca: [Muttering] Although I have a good idea why. > Out came the tongues Tsuneo: And flopped around on the floor. Rick: Sicko. > as they glared at each other. Dan: What ever happened to maturity? Rebecca: What's this a fanfic of, pray tell? Dan: Touche. > The Mohawked One came up to them. "Ummm.... excuse me Master, but we have > the Scouts to deal with... maybe you can argue about this later?  Please?" Rebecca: [Garnetia] Naw... We'll just have a fun little fight here and let them get away. Tsuneo: [Ditto] Thus exposing yet another hole in the plot and some remarkably bad writing. > Garnetia turned to her.  "And who is this new lackey of yours today? All: [Sinigning] I should be a lackey, lackey, lackey, lackey... > Never could depend on your own powers to get the job done, eh?" All: Nope. Rebecca: Geez, she's got as high an opinion of him as we do. > Rubeus clenched his fists.  "Shut up!  Just shut up! Tsuneo: No! This is our job! > I'll have you know > that this person was once my most hated enemy and now I have her working > on my side against her former allies." Rick: Big whoop. Tsuneo: Which is of course a marvellous reason to place all your trust in her. Dan: You can see it coming, can't you? > "Allies?  You mean the people who just left?" [Dead silence.] Tsuneo: Oh, man... And I thought this was bad before... Dan: No-one's THAT stupid... are they? Rebecca: I will refrain from answering that one. > "What?!"  He turned towards the room.  It was empty. Tsuneo: Save for himself, his sister, his lackey and any number of disposable monsters-of-the-minute that might be standing around. Rick: Add to that the vines, the crashedm capsule with its desk and melted crystal... Rebecca: And the discarded hoods and bonds. Dan: And no less than two summoned swords. Tsuneo: And any number of plot holes. > Chapter 18 by Zang. All: ZANG!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > ".... they're gone..." Tsuneo: A brilliant observation. Especially considering it's coming from a total moron. > A sickly gray pallor came over Rubeus' face. "Gar--ne--tia---" Dan: [Rubeus] What--did--you--put--in--my--lunch? Rick: Must--stop--talking--like--William--Shatner. > "Oh, were you keeping them here for some special reason or something? Tsuneo: [Rubeus] Yeah! They made my living room look nice and cosy. > Then it's too bad you let them escape, now isn't it." Rick: WHO let them escape? Rebecca: I certainly didn't see his lackey doing anything. Tsuneo: She was probably as stunned as we were. > She smiled cattily > as Rubeus' face darkened with rage.  "Oh, does wittle Wubeus want his big > sister Garnetia to make evwything all better?" Dan: [Rubeus] No, widdle Wubeus wants his bis sister to go to hell and stop talking like a moron. Rebecca: That's going to be very, very hard for her. > If looks could kill... well, let's just say Garnetia would be in less than > perfect health. All: We wish. > She was fully aware of this fact, and it pleased her to > no end.  Rick: What, that she'd be dead by now? > He moved towards her, fists clenched, mouth open with a return to > her comment.  At the snap of her fingers, he froze. Dan: [Rubeus] Geez, its cold in here! Rick: [Ditto] Man, I should have installed central heating! > "Nnn nnn nnn, brother," she chided, waggling a finger.  "It's not polite > to talk back."  She turned to Sailor Moon, who had been trying her best to > become invisible. Dan: Demonstrating some pretty neat-o new powers that she got by turning evil. Rebecca: Of course, if she could have turned invisible, why didn't she use it earlier during the fight to... Rick: Smile and nod and buy more ammo. > "Yo, Mohawk-girl." > "Yes ma'am!" > "Bring me all the information you can find on these people my brother is > after.  They may be useful..."  As Sailor Moon scuttled off, Dan: And now she can turn into a crab. Rebecca: No, Mars is the crabby one. Tsuneo: Ouch. That was just plain bad. > Garnetia walked to the still frozen Rubeus. Tsuneo: [Garnetia] Whoops! Silly me, just snapped off one of your fingers. > "I know you can hear me.  This is just a taste of my power. Rick: [Announcer] Do not be alarmed, this is only a test. Rebecca: So what, your power comes in various flavours? Tsuneo: [Kid] I wanna choclate ripple freeze ray! > You will regret ever having had me banished from the Dark Kingdom." Tsuneo: Has that got anything to do with the Dark Dimension or the Dark Tower? > Chapter 19 by Adam. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rick: Last chapter! Hooray! > Garnetia had a plan. Tsuneo: Which would show her family resemblance by failing miserably. Rebecca: [Garnetia] I've got it! I'll play bad science fiction movies to the world, so their brains turn to mush, then I take over! Dan: Naw. No-one would ever dream up something that stupid. > She began leafing through the information her > brother's lackey had gathered for her, grinning.  Not only would she be > able to rule over the rest of the world, she'd be able to get back at her > brother while she was at it! Tsuneo: [Brain] Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Rick: [Pinky] I think so Brain, but Tom Servo versus Tina's World? > The perfect plan. Rick: And she would have gotten away with it too- All: If not for those rotten kids and their mangy mutt. > Somewhere outside the Dark Tower--- Tsuneo: Tower today. Dimension tomorrow. Dan: News at eleven. > Tuxedo Mask landed, cradling Serena in his arms.  The other scouts landed > beside him. Rick: [Flight controller] Four scouts and one man in dumb costume clear to land on runway two-nine. Tsuneo: [Ditto] Watch out for burning Atomic Fireflash plane and Thunderbird One. Rick: Gee, about two people got that one. > "Where'd you come from?" Dan: [Tuxedo Mask] Well, legend has it the stork bought me... > Rei demanded harshly of the tuxedo-clad figure. Rick: See! Told you, Sailor Mercury is Rei Ayanami! I betcha unit 00's lurking nearby. Dan: Yeah... Except that she isn't here right now, and that's Mars' Japanese spelling. Rebecca: Fanboy. > "It's a long story," he sighed, beginning to recount it to them... Dan: I'll get the popcorn. Tsuneo: I'll get the pillows. Rick: I'll get the fire axe. > Chapter 20 by Sailor Dragon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tsuneo: And the end! Hooray! > More still to come! All: YARG!!!!! Rebecca: [Gets up from seat] Must... destroy... TV... Dan: [Grabs her] Enough already. It's over. Calm down. Rick: I suppose that means we can go now? Voice: Not quite. I got you guys in here for reviews, so I need your individual assessments of the fanfic. Tsuneo: You suck! Rick: It all sucks! Voice: Properly, please. Rebecca: PROPER REVIEW?!? You want a PROPER REVIEW??!?! OK THEN! The subject matter stinks to high heaven. The charcters are awful and obnoxious. The actual fic is terrible, with the writing ranging to bland to deadly bad. There are more plot holes than you can begin to imagine, and more inconsistencies than "Star Trek: Generations!" The writers seem to spend all their time trying to contradict one another, and don't seem to have a shred of talent between the lot of them. There! That's a proper reveiw! Rick: [Hiding behind couch] I think she covered what I had to say. Voice: Er... Someone more objective? Tsuneo: It's not as bad as they say. The absolute worst thing was the gross inconsistencies - Sailor Warriors and scouts, dark tower or dark dimension. The writers paid minimal attention to the previous parts simply so they could put in their own stuff, rather than bothering with attention to detail. Dan: Well... The characters were done blandly but okay. They were more of charicatures for the most part, ie: Serena unrelentingly whiny, Raye slapping her in the first actual chapter and so forth. The worst part for me was the way the characters got so mangled: Sailor Time, the Warriors, future Mars and Jupiter, Mohawk Moon, future moon and earth, and stuff like that. Fiunally, some authours didn't even think about what they were writing, and just dumped in totally stupid chapters. Voice: Er... well, thanks, I guess. Rick: Can we go now? Voice: Yeah, okay. But there's still more fanfics to be done later on. Tsuneo: And just what garuntee is there that we'll come back? Voice: Well, there were the contract you signed in the interval... Dan: Damn you. Rick: I knew we shouldn't have signed them in blood. Rebecca: Good thing I used Dan's. Dan: Hey! Voice: See you, guys. [They file out and the screen goes black.] Voice: Heh, heh... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Coming soon: Homecomings: A Tenchi Muyo!/El Hazard crossover. Surreptitious Encounters: A Tenchi Muyo/Evangelion crossover lemon (supposedly) Objective: Reflex Point: A Robotech original flavour fanfic from hell. Pretty T'sentraeti Sailor Naia: The parody fic of your worst nightmares! Indinana Macross and the Temple of Purists: The most in-joke laden parody ever! And more... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis & Jinas (rickr@one.net.au) Dan & Tsuneo Tateo are copyright 1995-1998 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-1998 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Jinas' world: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/index.htm RPG info, amateur fanfics and official Bubblegum Crossfire material. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. Thanks to Tina (tina97@mailexcite.com) for being such a good sport. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Rubeus clenched his fists.  "Shut up!  Just shut up! Tsuneo: No! This is our job!