*****

A brief note:

This was all Steve's idea. I'd blame him, but It's partially my fault. I wanted to do this.
I wanted to do this so bad. It had been years since my last MSTing. I thought I was
out of the game. I thought I could get over it.

Yeah, right.

I was back in faster then you could say "Godboy Wankfest."

"Old Conflicts Renewed" was written by "The Dark Spiner", aka Kevin

Zoids is copyright Tomy/Hasbro/Kenner/Irwin/JNH and probably some other people.

*****

In ZAC 225x, four Zoid Warriors disappeared in the Western Wastes. They were never
Seen again.

No trace of them was ever found, except for this tape.

*****

The ringing phone interrupted the silence of the Sonic Blade team base. Christina
McCade, the team's leader, got up from her seat and picked it up. She hoped it
wasn't the commission or Reed (although, in truth, the two might as well have been
the one and the same. She was having a nice day, and could have done without
any interruptions.

"Hello?" She began, then went into a more 'businesslike' mode, like Anita had
suggested. "Christina McCade here."

"Ah, Christina, just who I was after." The voice on the other end of the line began.
"Its Reed here."

Just who I didn't want, she thought. Still, it was always good to be nice to your boss
and principal sponsor. "How can I help you, Reed?"

"Well, its actually something I can do for you." He replied. "The network were wondering
if one of the ZUB fighters would like to do a spot on a show they're working on. They
asked me and I immediately thought of you."

"That’s... that's nice of you, Reed." She nervously replied. "Can I ask what the show's
about?"

"Oh, its just a little piece of film review, actually." He replied. "They want people to
watch something and provide some commentary for the viewers."

Christina considered this. It didn't sound too bad, and she liked the idea of doing a
guest review or similar for a film. She just hoped she wouldn't be anything too bad.
And besides, it paid to listen to what Reed suggested.

"Sure thing." She replied. "So when and where is it happening?"

*****

Tara Squamata sat back on her chair and took a drag from her cigarette as she went
though the newest posts on 'Zoids Eternal Requiem.' Her battle against Hardman X
had degenerated into an extended whine on his behalf as she had deconstructed
every godmoddish move he'd made, and thus was rapidly loosing her interest, while
a debate on the validity of various video game Zoids in the RPG had turned into
an argument between various moderators and name-calling.

Looking through, she could see that her RP with another female member of the board
(at least Tara hoped they were female) had been force-closed by a mod for supposed
'adult content'. "Feh," she said to herself. "We warned about the adult content, and
your board allows it." Looking up, she could see that a debate thread had started
on the topic and had, again, degenerated into a flame war between the mods.

In fact, about the only area that hadn't degenerated into a trollish mess was the
'OOC chat' section. Never mind that most of it consisted of Crystal Mazaki cross-
posting her dreadful fanfics.

One thread did catch her eye. A newcomer to the board was asking for people to do
a film review for him. Vaguely interested (or possibly because the rest of the place
was boring her out of her skull), she opened the thread and read through it.

"Well why not?" She asked herself. "How bad could it be? And a free film is always
good."

*****

"I got it! I got it!" Tasch Stoermer called out as she vaulted over one of the shabby
couches in the Broken Chairs' base. She grabbed the phone off the receiver as she
landed, then sat down. "Hello?"

"Hey laddie!" The voice on the other end of the line began with a broad Scottish
accent.

"Um, who in the heck are ya?" She asked.

"It's yer Uncle Bob, laddie!" The voice replied. "You know."

"Well, I ain't got no Uncle Bob."

"Yer not Zogster, aren't ye?" He asked. "Naw, yer voice is a bit to high. You're
Tilly or Rocke or Becky, right?"

"Naw, I'm Tasch Stoermer." She explained.

"This ain't the Fish City Unclear Reacotr, home to What Was the Name of that
Team Again?" He continued.

"Naw, its a reconditioned factory." She shook her head. "An' we're the Broken
Chairs... but that's a kinda neat name fer a team."

"Ach spoodnuts! I've called the wrong number." He sighed. "Sorry to waste yer
time, lassie."

"Aw, its okay."

"Hmm..." He continued. "Yer name was Stoermer, right? That's not like that guy
with the Gilvader, innit?"

"Naw, its the same name, but we ain't related." She explained. "Everyone asks that
though."

"Well there ya go." He replied. "Tell ye what, lassie. I got a free ticket to a special
film preview. I was gonna give it to me nephew Zogster, but since yer been so
nice, I thought you might be interested."

"Well that's real nice of y'all, Uncle Bob." She began. "Uh, I'll jus' get you an address
to send it to..."

"Not to worry, lassie. I already know where ye live. I'll have the ticket sent over to
ya straight away."

"That's real nice of y'all."

"Not a problem, lassie." He replied. "An' its been real nice to talk to ye."


*****

A Shield Liger bounded across the plains, its pilot watching the area around her as
she went. There was something odd, she noticed, something out of place. As she
squinted with her single eye, she could see what looked like a building, sitting right
in the middle of the desert where no building should be and where she knew there
had been none just half an hour ago.

"What the frelling hell?" She asked herself.

As she approached, she could see a trio of Zoids parked out the front of it; a Geno
Saurer, a Heldigunner and a black Redler. All three of them were clearly unmanned,
but looked like their owners had stepped out rather then just abandoned them. "Now
I'm intrigued," she muttered.

The Liger pulled up outside the building. Looking it over, she could see that it was
a rather old-fashioned looking theatre. It was rather run-down and shabby looking,
but at the same time, it looked to be open. "Okay, this I have to check out."

The Liger stopped in front of the theatre, its one-eyed pilot vaulting out of the
cockpit. Looking around, she could see several tattered posters hanging by the
door. 'Mortal Kombat Ahn...' one of them began, the rest of it torn away. "Well
someone can't frelling well spell," she began. "Time to see what's going on here.

She stepped in through the front door, her coat billowing out behind her. Inside
the theater, it was rather gloomy and just as run down as it was outside. Spilled
popcorn and candy littered the floor, while posters for films she couldn't even
begin to recongise were inside. Furthermore, there were signs of violence;
there were bullet holes in the walls, while it looked like someone had gone at the
snack bar with a chainsaw.

So there's a run-down theatre in the middle of nowhere, she thought. It looks like
its been here forever, only it wasn't here half an hour ago. Now what?

"Hey there." A voice began. Spinning around, the woman reached for one of the
pistols hidden within her coat. Instead, she found herself near eye to eye with
another woman. She was of above average height, with long brown hair, pale
skin and odd yellowish-green eyes... eyes a bit like someone else she knew.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"Well, my name's Tasch Stroermer." She explained. "But that's nothing like that guy
with the Gilvader, really."

"Who?" She asked. "Wait, never mind. What are you doing here?"

"I got a free ticket from a guy called Uncle Bob." She explained. "'cept there ain't
nobody else here yet. Well, save for the other two."

"Other two?"

"She means us." A blonde woman began as she walked in from a seemingly derelict
office. "My name's Christina McCade. I was invited here to take part in a TV show,
but I think I may have come to the wrong place."

"And I was invited here to take part in an amateur film review." A short, bespectacled
black hair added. "But I think I also came to the wrong place." She smiled. "Name's
Tara, by the way. Tara Squamata."

"Sandra Blackmore." The woman hastily began. "And I'd love to know how you got
the wrong address. This is the only building for mines around."

"Only building?" Christina asked. "No, its right in the middle of Island City."

"Island city?" Tara shook her head. "Well you're crazy or something, because this
place is in Zay city. True, its a crappy part of the city, but its Zay City no less."

"Naw, yer both wrong." Tasch spoke up. "Its near my team's base, in the city... not
in Zay city, not in Island city and it sure as heck ain't in the middle of the desert."

Sandra shook her head. "Look, its not in the middle of any frelling city." She began.
"Its in the middle of the desert." She walked over to the door, only to find it shut.
She shook her head, sure she didn't shut it. "Gimme a sec..." She pulled on the door,
only to find that it was locked shut. "The frell?"

She looked out the glass door. Yep, still in a desert. "Come over here if you don't
believe me."

Tasch walked over to the door and peered out the glass... and then recoiled. "AAH!
Its too bright!"

"That Nyxian bright light thing... it gets us every time..." Tara commented.

"Nyxian?"

"Um, so if the doors are locked," Christina began. "How do we get out?"

As if on cue, the doors to the theatre itself opened. The four of them warily
watched, as if they were expecting something to emerge from them. Instead
there was silence.

"So what do we do?" Christina asked.

"Well, I got film tickets." Tasch offered.

"As crazy as it sounds, its the best frelling thing I can think of." Sandra replied.

"Right then. Let's stop messing around and get on with it." Tara began. "They had
better allow smoking in there."

The four of them stepped into the theatre...


*****

[The four of them sit in the theatre seats]

> Old Conflicts Renewed

> 1 - Old Conflicts Renewed

> Disclaimer:don't you get sick of these things?

Sandra: Fanfics? Damn right I do.

> Kevin had made a full recovery after his battle with Zephyr and repairs on the Spiner
> were coming along nicely.

Christina: Great. We're reading a sequel. Care to fill us in on what happened?
Tara: A Banana Oil called "Kevin" showed up in a Dark Spiner. He immediately joined
the Blitz Team and proved to be better then everyone in the universe, and woo
Leena. Oh, and his Dark Spiner is an Ultimate X.
Christina: Does he claim the Spiner has a CPG?
Tara: Constantly [Flicks cigarette butt at screen]

> The Blitz Team had been completely dominating Class S. No
> team could compete with them.

Sandra: So for "The Blitz Team" and "Them", I should read "Kevin and his Cheese
Machine", right?
Christina: If there was any form of introduction, I could tell you.

> Thus, they kinda’ started getting bored. Leon and Naomi
> had come over when everyone was considering disbanding the Blitz Team.
> “Your kidding right?” asked Leon.
> “Nope, we’re considering going our separate ways. You know our current standing.
> We’re in first place.” answered Kevin.
> “Wow, I didn’t think I’d see the day.”
> “I’m the only one who really wants to keep battling.” said Brad.
> “For the money right?” asked Leena.
> “So?”
> “So, if you guys do disband, what do you plan to do with your selves?”
> “Leena and I though we might settle down.”

Sandra: I'm guessing that was Kevin.
Christina [Kevin]: We're going to move to Fiji and start a farm. We'll have a sheep and
a cow and raise horses.
Tara [Kevin]: And have fifty million babies who will combine all our best features and live
happily evah aftar!!!11

> “Oh REALLY?” Leon asked, his curiosity piqued. 
> “Yes! Do you have a problem with that Leon?” said Leena, getting angry.
> “No, sorry!”
> “I though I’d open up a parts shop.” said Bit.

Tasch: ...wait, I jus' read that as a Pants Shop.
Sandra: An amusing image. Treasure it.

> “Maybe Leon should join you Bit.” said Naomi, finally speaking up.
> “Yeah, why not? How ‘bout it Bit?”
> “Sure.”
> “Besides, I have a deal to hold up with Brad.”
> “Yeah, I remember.”
> “Huh? So, Jamie. What do you plan on doing?”
> “Doc and I thought we’d open a training center for rookie Zoid warriors.”

Sandra: Jamie will teach you how to be a screaming schtizo, while Doc will teach you
how to get over it through Model Therapy.
Christina: ...they're all doomed.

> “Good cause.”

> A few months later, everyone had gone their separate ways. Kevin and Leena moved
> into Romeo city.

Sandra: The Romeo City police department never had it so busy.

> Bit and Leon apparently did too, because the parts shop ‘Toros and
> Cloud Parts and Repair’ had sprung up, not to far from where Kevin and Leena where
> living. Doc and Jamie opened their training center, and Brad and Naomi teamed up.

Christina: Does everyone around here give up a successful career the moment they’ve
reached the top?
Tasch: Since they all love Zoid battlin’… Yeah, I guess.

> Things where going smoothly, and Kevin and Leena had announced that they had
> become engaged. Everyone was happy, except Harry, who was absolutely
> devastated.

Christina: I'm going to guess that the author doesn't like Harry.
Tara: You'd never have guessed it.

> He had been calling every day to try and talk Leena out of the
> engagement. Kevin finally went to Harry’s base and threatened him with the
> Spiner’s charged particle gun to solve the problem. 

Sandra: Ha ha! Death Threats are funny!
Tara: Ho ho ho! That they are! XDXDXD UMG Sandra, wouldn't be so FUNNY if I killed you
right NOW? I could be all, like, "RAAAARRR I KEEEEL YOU MUTHAFUCKA! DIIIEEE!" and you'd
be all, like, "Whoa, I'm dead, an' stuff." That's be HILARIOUS!

> Then one day, the news told of a revolt in the Guylos empire. The emperor had been
> captured, and an imperial general had gone warlord and taken over the empire. War
> was then declared on the republic.

Tara: Oh look, Post NC0 War fic.
Sandra: And in the introduction too.
Tara: This is the body of the fic.
Sandra: So the Guylos Empire was overthrown in a footnote.
Tara: Seems that way.
Sandra: Frelnuts.

> Apparently, the Warlord was a descendent of
> Minister Prozen, the man who resurrected the Death Saurer so long ago.

Tasch: It's Wolff Muaroa!
Sandra: It’s nicely obscure and it makes sense... but I doubt it somehow.

> The Helic
> republic put out a bulletin asking all those with combat Zoids and who were willing
> to fight to join the side of the Republic.

Sandra: Am I the only one who sees problems with recruiting independent Zoid
warriors to be a part of a military force?
Christina: I know that my team would be a disaster waiting to happen under those
circumstances.
Sandra: Problem team?
Christina: Problem team member.

> The former Blitz and Fluegal teams offered
> help immediately. 

Christina: ...of course, those two teams are nothing but problems.

> “Looks like we’re all back together again.” said Bit.
> “Yeah, who’d think something like this would happen.” said Jamie.
> “Dunno Jamie.” said Kevin, dropping off the Blade Liger.

Sandra: ...He's got a Blade liger too? Where'd this guy come form, some tooly message
board RPG?
Tasch: Naw, it can't be. He ain't got an orgnaoid.
Sandra: Don't tempt fate. I can't stand those little bipedal plot devices.

> “But I do think Zephyr was connected somehow.”

Tasch: A light breeze is responsible fer all this?
Tara: Naw, that's a character from the first fic. They're your basic EBIL Backdraft pilot
who killed Kevin's parents and is his arch rival or something. Somethin' along those lines.
My memory is sketchy, I was too busy flicking cigarette butts at it.
Sandra: I'll assume that he's far more capable then anyone else around, save for
Monkeyboy.
Tara: Damn straight.

> “Why do you say that?” said Brad, throwing Kevin a towel so he could wipe the grease
> off his hands.

Christina: I love how there's the odd random description, while the rest of the fic is just
brief clips of dialogue.
Tasch: Its like everyone's in separate recording booths shoutin' at each other.

> “Well...this has started not long after the battle right?

Tara: The battle?
Tasch: Yep, the battle.
Tara: Which battle?
Tasch: That’s right.
Tara: What’s right?
Tasch: The battle.
Tara: What battle?
Tasch: No, the battle.
Sandra: And on, and on, and on...

> So I think that Zephyr wasn’t
> workin’ for the Backdraft when he battled me. I’m one of the few people who have a
> Zoid with a charged particle gun, so I think this Warlord guy hired him to get rid of me.”
> “Makes sense.” said Doc.

Sandra: In a very illogical roundabout way.
Tasch: He coulda hired the Fuma team to get rid of 'em. After all, they had Genosaurers.
And they were Ninjas.
Tara: Damn right. Ninjas make everything better.
Unidentified Muffled Voice: Damn right they do.
Christina: Who was that?

[Silence]

Tash: Musta imagined it.
Christina: Must of.

[A pot plant quietly shuffles over towards the seats]

> “Yeah, Zoids like the Dark Spiner can take out multiple Zoids in one shot so...” said Leon,
> trailing off.
> “Agreed.”

Tara: ...and? Don't leave us hanging.

> “Well Zephyr, since your Geno Saurer was totaled, we’ve found a few Zoids you can
> chose from.”

Christina: He can choose from a Blade Liger Mirage, a Blade Liger Black Impact, a Blade
Liger infinity or a Blade Liger Forest and Night Fight Version.
Tasch: Difficult choice.

> “Really Sir?” Zephyr and the Warlord walked into a hanger containing a Death Stinger,
> a Geno Breaker, and the Liger Zero X.

Sandra: Wow. Its every fanboy's wet dream in a hanger.
Tara: Why, hello thar Geno Breaker, Liger Zero X and Death Stinger! I've seen you in many
a post NC0 warfic! Will Death Saurer, Koenig Wolf, Energy Liger, Sturm Tyrann and Gojulas
Giga be joining us anytime soon?

> “Unreal, how’d you come across these Zoids?”
> “Thank my great-great-grandfather. Well?”
> “I’ll take the Geno Breaker Warlord Prozen.”

Tasch: He only chose it 'cause he gets the free set of steak knives.



> Disclaimer:we've seen em' before

> 2- So it Begins

Tasch [Kosh]: It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
Sandra: Oookay, that was scary.

> The Blitz and Fluegal teams had become special units in the Republic army. The Fluegal
> team would be for quick hit and run attacks to disorient the enemy and the Blitz team
> would then move in and clean things up.

Sandra: Of course, it would be more sensible to try to integrate them into other, larger
units to put specialized Zoids in specialty units, while simplifying the overall chain of
command. It would also help spread around the pool of talented pilots. But then, sense
probably never entered into this thing.

> The two groups would be operating from a
> modified Hover Cargo that could carry 10 Zoids. The shield had more then twice the
> power of the one on Doc’s original Hover Cargo. Doc had no official rank, where as Kevin
> was at the rank of Captain, and everyone else was a Lieutenant. The two teams were
> joined into one team renamed “The Devastators”.

Tasch: Well that's an appropriate name.
Sandra: ...how so?
Tasch: Well, the Dark Spiner's green an' purple.
Sandra: Your logic is bizarre, but faultless.

> The team was getting ready to deploy
> and Kevin was running off the armaments and modifications of the Dark Spiner to
> some rookie warriors. 

Tara [Kevin]: And then that’s how I beat Vega Obscura all on my own and won the royal
cup and… yes, I believe there was a question there?

> “The Dark Spiner has a double pulse cannon on the chest, an AZ 144 mm cannon on
> each shoulder, and twin paired mini-defense cannons on the tail end of the sail.”
> “Impressive, but isn’t there another weapon on the Dark Spiner?” someone piped up.

Tasch: It has the power of cheese!

> “Well actually, there is. When the sail is deployed, the mini-defense cannons become
> a charged particle gun. It’s power is comparable to that of the Geno Breaker.”

Sandra: …I suppose it would be pointless to rant that the Dark Spiner has no CPG?
Tara: Yep.
Sandra: Fine. Instead, I’ll remember that one moron kind who thought that it did… and
what happened when he tried to use it. Spud and I had a good day.

> “That’s incredible!”

Tasch: Hey… they’re riffin’ fer us.
Tara: NO IT DOES NOT!!! Dark Spiners HAVE NO FREAKIN' CHARGED PARTICLE CANNONS!
Ahem. Sorry 'bout that. Dark Spiner's more like an uber Dimetrodon then a d00my Geno-
thingy... but apparently being the best friggin' electronics warfare Zoid in existence isn't
good enough. 9_9
Sandra: Calm.

> “Whoa!” Multiple murmurs went through the small crowd. Kevin smiled.

Christina: [Raises hand] Sir, why are you a captain when the more experienced Zoid warriors
are lieutenants?
Sandra: [Kevin] Any other questions?
Christina: Also, isn’t the command structure in this unit remarkably top heavy?
Sandra: [Kevin] Any more questions about my Zoid?

> “You guys wanted to know about the modifications too, didn’t you?” everyone voiced
> their agreement.

All: NOT US!

> “Well, I’ve had the leg servomotors upgraded so at the top running speed, the Spiner
> can easily keep pace with the Liger 0. I’ve also had repulsor units added to the legs,
> bringing it’s top speed to 315 kilometers per hour.”

Sandra: Repulsor units? Is this guy ripping tech from Star Wars or Iron Man?
Christina: So he’s already overestimated the Spiner’s abilities, and now he has to further
beef them up? What’s his problem?
Tasch: Zoid envy?
Tara: I was gonna say he had another form of envy.

> “So does that mean you could keep up with a Lightning Saix?”
> “No, the Saix still has 10 km/phr on me. But my Zoid is one of the few Zoids that
> actually can come close to the Saix speed.

Tara: Except for maybe Zeekdober... and Geno Breaker... and Blade Liger AB, and Lidier,
and Descat, and Houndsoldier, and Berserk Fury... I'm sorry, you were gloating about
how fast you are? Carry on.

> That’s everything, no back to your posts.”
> “Sir!” said the troops as they snapped him a salute. 

Tasch: Freedom at last!

> “At ease.” Kevin watched the men walk away. Leena walked up, smiling at him.
> “Well CAPTAIN, enjoying yourself?” Leena said sarcastically.

Tara [Kevin]: I was till I ran out of Vaseline.

> “Oh come on Leena, can I help it if I like to show off? And we skip the formality in our
> unit, okay?”
> “Deal.” Leena said, giving Kevin a quick kiss and then going off to get the Gun Sniper
> ready. Someone walked up beside Kevin.
> “You here the news?”
> “Yeah, I did Jack. We move out tonight.”

All: Hello Jack!
Sandra [Jack Sisco]: Thank you. You’ve been a wonderful audience.

> “Good Luck to you Kevin.”
> “You to Jack.”

Christina: Ladies and gentlemen, lets hear it for Jack Sisco!

[They all cheer]

> A man in a mechanic’s jumpsuit ran over to Kevin.
> “All other Zoids are loaded sir, we’re just waiting for the Dark Spiner.”

Tara: [Kevin] But there’s more people I have to brag about it to.
All: SEEN IT!

> “Understood.” Kevin stared out into the setting sun and thought about what was
> about to happen.

Tasch [Kevin]: Wow. That is really, really red. [Pause] I wonder if there are any of them
Little mints left.

> That night everyone was set to go. 
> “All units, MOVE OUT!” came a voice over the com system.
> “Well you heard the man, lets get going.” said Kevin. Hundreds of transports started
> to leave. 

Sandra: And then they had to turn back because Kevin left his blankey behind.

> The Devastators where heading towards the boarder,

Sandra: Who are the Devastators, dare I ask?
Tasch: Oh, that's the big green robot made out of Hook, Long Haul, Scrapper, Mixmaster,
Bonecrusher and Scavenger.
Christina: That's hero boy's team. Weren't you paying attention?
Sandra: I try.

> where the empire was starting
> to move into republic territory. 

Tasch [Kevin]: We attack the blue bits first!
Christina: Uh, sir? Those are the oceans.
Tasch [Kevin]: Dangit.

> “All right everyone, our first target is an outpost set up at a crucial staging area for the
> republic. We are to wipe it out. Plain and simple.”
> “Sounds simple, but if it’s such a critical point, then won’t it be heavily guarded?”
> asked Naomi.

Tara: ...Huh? Ummm... I thought the Republic were the good guys?...

> “Yes, it will be. So what we are going to do is as follows.

Sandra [Kevin]: We will be divided into two teams, the Bait team and the Hero team.
The Hero team will consist of me and the Bait team of everyone else. Bait team will
test the enemy's defenses by running blindly at them, allowing Hero team to wipe
them out.

> Naomi takes out some of the
> stronger Zoids they have set up on guard duty. Jamie will make a few quick passes to
> further disorient them. Then Brad will move in first to set up a smoke screen. Then the
> rest of us move in and take out the base.”

Sandra: Who made you the boss?
Christina [Kevin]: I did, because I are writing it.

> “Will we be taking prisoners?” asked Bit.
> “Yeah, we need them so we can see just what the empire is planning. A republic unit
> will be along after we contact them to set up base. So if possible, leave the buildings
> intact.”

Tasch: But... what if they're in the buildings?

[pause]

Christina [Kevin]: You! Demotion!

> “When does all this happen?”
> “Dawn. Now lets get some sleep.” Kevin said, yawning. Everyone watched him as he
> walked out of the tactics room.
> “Hard to believe he’s our superior officer.

Tara: You said it.
Sandra: I always did think that Brad was the smart one.

> One minute he’s serious, the next, he’s the
> way he used to be.” said Brad.
> “Who cares? I agree with Kevin, lets get some sleep.” said Leon.

Tasch: SNOOZE!

[They all roll back and pretend to sleep]

> The next morning, things were in place.
> “Fire.” Shots rang out, disturbing the serenity of the morning. Things had gone as
> planned.

Tara: One successful panty raid later, Kevin was in bliss. Briefly.

> But Kevin had thought things would be much harder, it was like the empire
> wanted them to take the base.

Christina: He failed to notice the ACME 16 ton weight hanging over it, I guess.

> “Something’s not right. This was too easy.” said Jamie.
> “I agree. You said this point was critical, right Kevin?” said Bit.
> “Yeah, it is. This was way too easy. Doc tell the unit coming here to find another
> staging area, something doesn’t feel right.”

Christina: Was it too easy?
Tara: He said it was like they wanted to give it away.
Tasch: And it didn’t feel right.
Christina: Because it was too easy?
Tara: And it didn’t feel right.
Tasch: Like they wanted to give it away...
Sandra: Thank you, we’ll be here all night. No, really.

> “Got it Kevin.”
> “Kevin, I found the reason why this was so easy.” said Naomi.
> “Why?”

Sandra: Cheat codes. He had "God mode" on all along.

> “Up, on the ridge. Two Great Saber units, one Iron Kong PK unit, and three Rev Raptor
> units.”

Sandra: Methinks that Zoid info was gathered by randomly going through Channel Zi.
Tasch: That page was cool. I liked their Mad Thunder.
Christina: Of course, if you had this big-arse force in reserve, why not bring them out
when the base is being attacked and coordinate your defenses? That way you could
trap the defenders between your two forces.
Sandra: You're thinking too hard there.
Christina: ...should I stop? Might that help?

> “Shit! Naomi, start hittin’ em’!”
> “Right!”
> “Everyone, head for that ridge.” everyone acknowledged.

> Zephyr watched as Kevin and the rest easily took out the imperial Zoids.

Sandra: ...one gripping battle later...

> “Well, he’s improved quite a bit. But he’s still no match for the Geno Breaker.”

Tara: Hey jerkoff! You gonna do anything or just stand there and look kewl?
Christina: See my earlier comment on coordinating their forces.
Sandra: See my earlier comment on thinking.

> “Okay, Doc tell the republic unit that things are secure.” said Kevin, as everyone
> walked into the Hover Cargo.
> “Okay.”
> “And tell them they better have munitions.”
> “Gottca.” said Doc, laughing.

Christina [Kevin]: And tell them that I need a new aftershave. This one isn’t ‘manly’ enough.
Sandra [Doc]: Yes, oh high and mighty toilet hog.

> “Wait, I didn’t run out of ammo!” said Leena.
> “No, but we all used a lot of ammo, we’re gonna need more.”
> “Oh, right.”
> “Congratulations on a successful first mission team.”

Tasch: Victoly! A Winner Is You!
Tara: Nothing happens, and they’re happy!
Sandra: Nothing makes me happy.
Christina: I suppose that’s true in many ways.


> 3 - Zephyr Returns

Tara: Awww… great. We got Godboy’s pet rival now. This is gonna hurt hard.

> Disclaimer:it's been said

Sandra [Hoarse voice]: Its...

> The republic unit had come and the base was overrun with technicians. The
> Devastators’ Zoids were being restocked with ammo, and the team had just finished
> their debriefing.
> “Man, do they have to be so through?” complained Bit.
> “Ya got me. I doubt they need to know EVERYTHING that happened.” replied Kevin.

Sandra: Yes, yes they do. Its call intelligence gathering, mailbox head. Of course, Intelligence
is probably an abstract concept for you.

> “Lets just forget about it and see how things are going with the Zoids.” said Jamie.
> “Good idea.”

> In the hanger...
> “Your kidding me right?”
> “No sir, there is a glitch in your Blade Liger’s system.”

Tara: He had a fatal error when installing SriptImmunity.exe. He needs to update
his copy of cheesgraterabs.dll first.

> “How long till it’s fixed?”
> “It’ll be done by the end of the day sir.”
> “Looks like we’ve got more time to rest than I expected.” Kevin said, putting his hands
> behind his head and stretching out. 

Sandra: You know, you don't need to hold up the whole war effort just because one
of your Zoids doesn't work. Hell, you could just use your UberSpiner instead; you've
got Zoids to spare.
Tasch: But if he uses the same Zoid more then twice in a row, it incurs maintenance
damage.

> “All Zoids have been restocked with ammo sir.” said a man who had come up behind
> Kevin. Kevin turned around.
> “HARRY?!?! What are you doing here?”

Tasch [Harry]: Restockin' yer ammo.
Tara [Harry]: Oh, I'm here to be bashed so that Mr Stu can show off how big, strong a
man he is by beating me up!

> “I’ve been assigned to this base.”
> “I figured that, but I mean here, in a war.”
> “I wanted to help out.”

Christina [Hal Jordan]: I only wanted to help! I only wanted to make things right!

> “You don’t strike me as the kind of guy to do that.”
> “Well you were wrong.”
> “Okay...” said Kevin, looking at Harry’s rank.
> “Ensign.

Christina: Can I ask why Harry has a naval rank even though he's in the army?
Sandra: Because the author learned all about military ranks from watching Star
Trek.
Christina: Silly me. Still it’s meant to be a lower rank then the rest, right?
Sandra: They need someone to pick on.

> You haven’t been after Leena have you?”
> “No, I’ve decided to move on in life.” Kevin’s jaw would’ve fallen off had he not caught
> himself.
> “Your kidding right? I mean that’s kinda hard to believe.”

Christina: Says the one-dimensional cutout engaged to the canon character with two private
zoids including the stupidly over-inflated Dark Spiner.

> “Believe what?” asked Leena, walking up.
> “Oh, hey Harry. How’s it been?”
> “Okay.”

Sandra [Harry]: The one true love of my life has left me for a one-dimensional godboy,
I've been chracterised as some sort of deranged stalker and I'm caught in generic
post NC0 Warfic hell.
Tasch [Leena]: So... okay then?
Sandra [Harry]: Just peachy, Leena darling!

> “Wait a minute, your not swooning over me. Are you feeling all right?”
> “Yeah, I’ve decided to give up on you. I can tell you love Kevin, not me.” Leena’s face
> now had the same shocked expression as Kevin’s.
> “Wow, I never expected this of you Harry. It’s a nice change.” This caused Harry to
> smile.
> “Well,” Harry started, snapping a salute.
> “Captain, Lieutenant, good luck on your next mission.”

Sandra [Harry]: And Kevin, if you see anything areas with warning signs saying
anything about Land Mines, ignore them. Trust me, how could it go wrong.
Christina: Dark.
Sandra: And loving it.

> “Good luck to you too Ensign.” said Kevin, he and Leena returning the salute. They
> watched Harry walk off.
> “He’s changed quite a bit, hasn’t he?”
> “Yeah, he has.” said Kevin, wrapping his arm around Leena’s waist.

Sandra: Character Discussion! Genuine character development, or setup for bashing to
come?
Christina: Setup.
Tasch: Setup.
Tara: Setup.
Sandra: That’s all for this week's edition of Character Discussion.

> The Devastators deployed the next morning. Their next target was a small base about
> 30 miles in from the imperial border. Little did they know, someone had plans to stop
> them.

Christina: Well you'd assume so. Given that it’s a military incursion, you'd expect some
defenses.
Sandra: By 'someone', I'm guessing they mean 'named character'.
Christina: Aaaah. Big difference. Redshirts don't count as people.

> “Doc, how long till we reach the base?”
> “9 hours.”

Tasch: So... they're goin' at fivce and a bit kilometers an hour?
Christina: Maybe they're erring on the side of caution.
Tara: You fool! We're doing nearly six kilometers per hour! Its a wonder men can
live at this speed!

> “Great.” Kevin sighed.
> “I’ve got something on radar.”

Tasch: It appears to be a Winnebego.

> “What is it Jamie?”
> “Don’t know yet Kevin, but it’s about the same size as the Dark Spiner.”

Sandra: Care to be any less specific?

> “Geno Saurer?” asked Naomi.
> “No, it’s a different signature.” said Leon, brining up the radar display on a console
> near him.
> “Then what is it?” asked Leena. Kevin started checking the Zoid’s signature. 

Sandra: Geno Hydra?
Tara: Geno Flame?
Tasch: Geno Scissors?
Christina: Geno Pyschosis?
Sandra: Geno Trooper?
Tara: Protobreaker?
Tasch: Protobreaker II?
Christina: Geno Hydra KA?

> “It’s a Geno Breaker...”

Sandra: That would have been my next pick.

> suddenly, the com system alerted them to an incoming
> transmission. They brought it up.
> “Hey Kevin, how ya been?”
> “Zephyr?”

Tara: Oh noes! The windy guy has come to get us! Whatever shall we do!?
Tasch: Ask him not to eat beans?

> “The one and only.”
> “I’m never going to assume anything about you again.”

Tara [Zephyr]: Including my sexuality.
Sandra [Kevin]: Especially your sexuality.
Tara [Zephyr]: Good to hear, nummynuffin.

> “Good idea.” The com shut off.
> “Come on everyone, we’re deploying.”

Christina: Can someone tell those of us that didn’t read the last fic what that was all about?
Sandra: Theory is, if you didn’t read the last one, you ain’t reading this one.
Christina: If only.

> “Leena, Naomi, you two provide long range support. Just watch for the charged
> particle gun.
> “Roger.”

Tasch [Battle Droid]: Roger, roger.
Sandra [BB]: ROGER!

> “Got it.”
> “Jamie, whatever you do, don’t slow down. If he gets in the air, it’ll be up to you.”
> “Copy.”

Tasch: Or, he could fly behind the Geno Breaker an' attack it from behind where none of
its weapons can reach him or the shield can't provide any protection, so he could knock
out the Breaker without any problems.
Christina: Well, yes, it'd make sense, which is why he won't do it.
Tara: Of course, I've always wondered why the Guardian Force didn't try that on Raven
Sandra: Are you asking for sense out of Guardian Force?
Tara: Sorry.

> “Everyone else, your with me.”
> “Roger.” said the rest.

> The combatants stared each other down. The Dark Spiner, Zero Schneider, Blade Liger,
> Geno Breaker, and the rest.

Christina: Why isn't he referring to the characters by name?
Tasch: The who?
Christina: Silly me.

> “LET’S GO!!!!!” yelled Kevin. Leena, Naomi, and Jamie started firing. Kevin, Bit, Brad,
> and Leon charged the Geno Breaker. The barrage stopped just before the four of
> them reached the Geno Breaker. The Zoids started a furious battle. The Fox and
> Spiner were running circles around Zephyr

Sandra: Not actually doing anything, just running.

> while Bit and Leon attacked in close
> range. Bit went to jump on the Geno Breaker but was caught in one of it’s buster
> claws.

Tara: X-Breakers! The hedgeclippers of d00m are called X-Breakers! >_< Fricking
Berserk Fury's the one with the Buster Claws!

> Leon ended up being just as successful. Zephyr threw them aside causing
> their systems to freeze.

Christina: Should I be at all surprised that Bit, the canon hero, has been the first
one to be knocked out of action?

> Leena and Naomi took advantage of the opening and fired
> away. 
> “You really think you can penetrate my armor?” 

Sandra: If it was with their tail rifles, then definitely. If it was with Leena's Beam Gattlings
or Linear Launchers, then certainly.
Vic: Genothingy. It goes spalt.
Sandra: Where did you come from?
Vic: I was always here.

> Zephyr charged the two of them and knocked them out of the way as if they were
> just leaves. Their systems froze. Kevin had come up behind Zephyr but missed. Zephyr
> was heading for his next target.
> “Jamie, move it!”
> “I’m trying, but I can’t go any faster!”
> Kevin watched in horror as the Raynos fell to the ground.

Tara: Uh, no... the Raynos can go ten times as fast as that nuclear rooster. There's no
way a 'breaker could catch it.

> “Brad, lets go!”

Tasch: [Kevin] Let’s run futilely at the authour-created supermenace!
Tara: [Brad] If it’s all the same to you, I’ll sit back and watch.

> “Right!”
> The three remaining Zoids went top speed at each other. Kevin tried to attack again,
> but Zephyr had dodged again and then moved for Brad. Brad dodged the first attack,
> but wasn’t so lucky the second time around. He had been caught by the horn on the
> Geno Breaker’s head.

All: SWORDED!

> “Now it’s just you and me, the way it should be.”

Sandra: Note how all the canon characters are effortlessly waxed by this breezy tool,
yet Our Hero manages to fight him to a standstill in an inferior machine. Funny that.
Tasch: I have a theory.
Sandra: Go on.
Tasch: It don't make no sense at all!
Sandra: ...very astute.

> “You scum.”

Tara [Yawns]: ...My. What an exciting battle. I'm on the edge of my seat... *zzzzzz*

> The Zoids charged each other, hitting with a force that would shatter most Zoids.

Sandra: But not their “special” Zoids.

> The two Zoids started tearing furiously at one another. The Geno Breaker fired a
> charged particle blast and Kevin ionized the air around him with the Spiner’s sail,
> canceling out the blast.

Christina: I'll tell you this much now; the Ionisation array will not help against a
charged particle cannon.
Sandra: Speaking form experience?
Christina: Damn right.

> The Zoids hit each other again and again, inflicting heavy damage. Both warriors had
> gone way beyond their limits. Then Zephyr decided to end the fight.

Sandra: Please tell me he remembered to use the X-Breakers or the horn thingy or
even the missile pods on WunderWank here. There's no way that a Dark
Spiner would be breaking even with a Genobreaker otherwise.
Chritstina: I'm afraid so.
Sandra: Fignuts.

> “Well Kevin, until we meet again.” said Zephyr, flying away.
> “But, a...” Kevin started, not knowing how to react.

Tara: *zzzzzzz...* Huh... wha? It's over now? 'Kay, good. I couldn't STAND the suspense!
I simply couldn't handle it, so I took a nap!

> That afternoon, all the Zoids had been gathered and everyone was in the Hover
> Cargo.

Christina: I’m no tactical genius, but I can’t quite understand the reason for disabling their
Zoids, severely damaging the Dark Spiner and then flying away.
Tasch: His favourite show was on and he didn’t want to miss it?
Sandra: Damn thing is, I can’t think of anything better.

> “I radioed the base and let them know we’ll be coming back for repairs.”
> “Thanks Doc.”
> “So it looks like Zephyr’s alive.” said Brad.

All: REALLY!

> “Yeah, that makes things that much harder. You saw how powerful he had become
> with that Geno Breaker.”
> “Looks like we have our work cut out for us. So what do we do now Kevin?”

Sandra [Kevin]: Leena, fawn all over me. The rest of you, fall effortlessly before him, then
stand back and congratulate me as I effortlessly dispatch him.

> “I don’t know Bit. Lets just get the Zoids repaired and then worry about what we’re
> going to do. But for right now, alls I want is to rest and have something to drink.”
> “I agree, that was worse than fighting the Berserk Fury.” said Leena.

Sandra: ...its not like Leena actually fought the Berserk Fury, y'know.
Christina: Say, where has the Fury got to?
Tasch: Kale Obscura's probably run off with it.
Sandra: ...I can't tell if you're joking or not.
Tara: The Fury got off easy, I think. 

> Kevin fell back on the couch. “Life just got a lot harder.”

Tara: Tell us about it!

> 4 - An Organoid and the Storm Sworders

Tara: ARGH! ORGANOID!

> Disclaimer:refer to every other fic you’ve read

Tara: This fic is like every other fic I've read. Only with less slash.
Tasch: I dunno, I think there will be some later.
Tara [Hopeful]: Y'think?
Tasch: Oh yeah. That things a fave of them dang Zombiekids. They seem to like it more
then Snipe Liger, fer some reason.
Tara: Or with fangirls, rather... I doubt there'll be any, since this appears to have been
written by a fanboy... ...Hey! According to Bit/Leena logic, you hate the people you
love... maybe Harry will end up in a threesome with Leena and Godboy? [Shudders at
the thought]
Sandra: Thanks for that. Remind me to kill you after.

> Two days later, Kevin was still up in arms over what to do about Zephyr.

Sandra [Kevin]: Should it be a simple registration office affiar or a full ceremony?

> The only thing
> he had thought of was to equip his and Leon’s Blade Ligers with the attack booster
> units. He knew that wasn’t enough though. It was going to be very hard to fight
> Zephyr the way things stood.

Tara: Excuse me? TWO Blade Ligers with CP-12s? The Geno Breaker would get pasted like
a fly on a windshield, considering ONE Blade Liger AB could munch a Breaker for breakfast,
seeing as how they were specifically designed to take 'em out and all.
Sandra: I've never quite figured out the logic of that. A pair of boosters does not make up
for all the advantages that the Genobreaker has over the regular Bladey.
Tasch: It works because it’s an upgrade.
Sandra: ...your logic is flawless and incomprehensible. Again.

> At this point in time though, Kevin was asleep. But, for
> once in his life, he was sleeping lightly and was lost in his thoughts and dreams.
> Because of this, he didn’t hear the door to his room open.

Vic: AXE MURDER ATTACK! [Runs off]
Sandra: Gah! Don't do that.
Tara: Who keeps letting her in?

> Leena walked into her and Kevin’s room. She knew Kevin wanted to be left alone, but
> she wanted to be there to comfort him. She saw he was asleep on their bed, shirtless.
> Leena laughed, first considering “attacking” Kevin,

All: DO IT!

> but then decided against it. She
> walked to the bed and sat down. She looked Kevin over for the millionth time.

Sandra: I wonder, if you counted all the occurrences of "Kevin" in this fic, how many would
you come up with?
Tasch: Ah... uh... hang on. Dang. It moved an' I lost count.

> He
> wasn’t much different from Bit, when it came to build. He was a bit heavier though.
> She realized that he was not someone you’d want to pick a fight with.

Tasch: 'cause he could throw y'all helluva far.

> Not because
> he was extremely strong, but he was a very determined person. After sitting there
> for a few minutes, Leena heard the alarms blare.

Christina: Should I be grateful that this fic has at least a clumsy interlude between pointless
fights, or annoyed that its sole purpose was to say how great Kevin is?
Sandra: I think we should just count our blessings that it’s a little bit more fic that has gone
past.

> ***
> In his sleep, Kevin kept trying to think of a way to beat Zephyr.

Tara: Handcuffs and a whip? Bow chicka bow chicka bow chicka bow bow... that'd make
this fic a bit more interesting. X3

> But it was to no avail.
> He wished he had something, some kind of miracle. While he was trying to come up
> with some more to help them,

Sandra [Kevin]: Maybe if we build a giant wooden horse, and all hide inside it...

> he heard the alarms go off.

Tasch: Better look out! Hijinks are about to ensue!
Vic: You said 'ensue'.
Tasch: Dang it, I did.

> Kevin didn’t know Leena had sat down on the bed, so he nearly knocked her off when
> he flipped over to get off the bed. She would have fallen off, had she not jumped ON to
> Kevin.

Christina: I'm trying to figure out how that works. And I can't. And it makes my head hurt.

> Kevin had a very startled look on his face.
> “Uhhh, Hi Kev.”
> “Hey Leena.”

Hey Steve: Hey Steve! [Leaps away]
Sandra: Well that was random.
Tara: Yeah, what kind of a random crappy Zoids fic did he come from?

> said Kevin, still a little startled. Leena got of Kevin so he could get his
> shirt.
> “Any idea what’s going on?”

Tasch: Stuff's happenin'.
Tara: And it’s not cool.

> “No, you heard it as soon as I did.”
> “All personnel, report to Hanger 3 immediately.”
> “You heard him, lets go.” Kevin said to Leena, putting his shirt on. When the two of
> them got to the hanger, Kevin asked a mechanic what was going on.

Sandra: And why everyone was staring at him.
Tara: Well, he *only* put on his shirt...

> “Well sir, a Zoid-like machine appeared by your Dark Spiner and Blade Liger.”

Tasch: Zoid-like?
Tara: It looks like nothing so much as a snake sticking its head out of a chariot.
Sandra: Hey, don’t tool with Serpent.

> “Where’d it come from?”
> “Some think it came from the Spiner, it started glowing and then the thing appeared.”

Sandra: Some think that aliens bought it. Some think its just a plot contrivance.
Tara: Maybe the Spiner just took a dump.

> Kevin started to make his way through the crowd to get a better look. He was
> amazed at what he saw. He was staring straight at an Organoid.

Tara: Ah, fignuts. I Knew it would be one of those crappy little bipedal plot devices.

> It was keeping
> people away from Blade and Spiner. It wasn’t like any of the organoids he’d seen on
> file. It wasn’t like the silver or black ones.

Christina: Instead, it was cheese-coloured, symbolic of its value to the story.

> Besides, he already had an idea of what
> machines those to were bonded to. He figured the silver one was bonded to the
> Liger 0, because the organoid’s partner piloted a Blade Liger, and he figured the
> Liger 0 was the final stage in the evolutionary chain. As for the black one, he though
> it was bonded to the Berserk Fury. He figured it was the final stage in the evolutionary
> chain of the Geno Breaker, and here was only one Geno Breaker that ever had a pilot
> with an organoid.

Sandra: ...by anime continuity, shouldn't it be that there's only one Geno Breaker full
stop?
Tara: Especially since this fic seems to be under the impression that Breakers are more
powerful... why would a Breaker de-evolve into something supposedly weaker? The idea
is full of holes.
Christina: None of that made any sense at all.

> As for the other two on file, they were blue and red, and this one
> was the same color as the blue on the Spiner.

Tasch: Kitchen sink green ain't no shade of blue.

> Also, it’ shoulders, hips, and elbows
> were swept back into points There were also three spikes along the back of it’s
> head. Two on each side of the head and one on each side of the jaw.

Christina: That’s four.
Tara: You’re being petty.
Christina: No, I’m surviving.

> The top spike on each side were the longest spikes, getting shorter as the went down.

Tara: So... in other words, it’s very pointy.
Sandra: It’s also the only thing in this fic to have any description.

> ‘The elbow spikes must be devastating in close combat’, Kevin thought, frowning.
> He took a step forward and the organoid focused on him. All the anger seemed to
> drain from it, and it tackled Kevin, clearly quite pleased to see him.

Tara: You can tell that by the way he's humping his leg.
Christina: So now he has an organoid. Are there any other surprises he's planning to
throw at us?
Sandra: He could be half Zoidariyan.
Christina: You mean Zoidian.
Sandra: No, Zoidariyan. It'd be a genuine surprise for once.

> Everyone
> watched in amazement. Leena was he first to speak.
> “So, what is it?”

Sandra: It's a previously undiscovered species of lemur. [ding]

> “It’s an organoid.” Kevin said standing up. The entire room looked at him in disbelief.
> “You mean that’s an organoid?!” said someone pointing at the human sized Zoid
> standing next to Kevin.

Sandra: No, it’s a frost-free fridge. [ding]

> “Wish I knew his name though.” mused Kevin.
> “Siege.” said the organoid, speaking to Kevin telepathically.

Tara: Kinda like Sieg, Van's Cheese-a-noid! Bad lazy fic author, no biscuit for you.
Christina: Originality would be nice, but I know it won't happen.

> “Siege, is it? Well then Siege, welcome to the republic army.”
> “Wait, how did you find out his name?”
> “Oh, he told me it.” said Kevin, matter of factly.
> “How?”
> “Oh, right. You guys can’t hear him. Well, organoids share a telepathic link with their
> partners, so we can understand what they’re saying. The same holds true for an
> Ultimate X. It’s organoid system was originally an organoid.”

Christina: ...one would presume so.
Tasch: But what if it was an Organoid System like they are in the battle story? Then its
not really an organoid at all.

> “But I thought your Zoid was an Ultimate X.” said Bit
> “Well, it used to be.”

Sandra: Not that it’ll be any less cheesy now.
Tara: So is it or isn’t it?
Christina: Uhm... Fish?

> “So your saying that one day, the organoid that’s bonded to the Liger will un-merge
> with it?”

Tara: Certainly. It wouldn't be the stupidest thing to have happened so far.
Tasch: Check it out, it's organoid in a can.

> “Not likely, I think your Zoid evolved from a Blade Liger with the help of and organoid,
> and it permanently bonded to the Liger 0.”

Christina: [Bit] And yours didn’t?
Tara: [Kevin] Mine’s *special.*
Tasch: Naw, only John Barren’s that special.

[They all stare at her]

> “So, you need an organoid to evolve a Zoid. Then how’d your Blade Liger evolve?”
> “With Siege’s help. Remember, it didn’t evolve until we got back to base and got close
> to the Spiner.”

Christina: So just standing near an Ultimate X is enough to evolve a Zoid now? What are
they, leaky nuclear reactors or something?
Rick: It sounds like a silver-age origin Story. "Humble Van Freighheight was
accidentally exposed to an Ultimate X. Now, he fights for truth and justice as Cheese
Grater Abs man!"
Tara: Wait a minute, wait a minute... he said in the previous fic that his Shield Liger
evolved into a Blade Liger because it built up a lot of combat experience, which allowed
it to evolve into a more powerful form (coughcoughPokemoncoughcough)... the author's
contradicting himself! How did Godboy's Shieldy evolve? By exposure to an Ultimate X,
or from gaining experience in battle?
Sandra: It evolved by act of plot.

> “Oh.”
> “Alright, crisis averted, get back to work.” said Kevin. 

Christina: I feel stupid for saying this, but I can’t make head or tail of anything that just
happened.
Sandra: Here’s the short version. Godboy’s pet monster just dumped him a bonus helping of
script immunity, and he went on to explain why it won’t happen to the canon characters.

> “You know what guys, Siege here is gives us one option, and I’ve got another idea
> now.”
> “What is it?” asked Brad.

Christina [Kevin]: We make the world's largest human pyramid!

> “You’ll find out later.” said Kevin, running off. Everyone just stared at one another.

Tara: [Kevin] Hah, hah, teamwork is stupid!

> The next day, the renamed Marauders,

Sandra: Why the sudden name change?
Tasch: There was a problem with copyrights on the name. It was either that or
"Constructon Maximus".

> found out Kevin’s other idea. In the hanger
> where the Marauder’s Zoids were kept, two Strom Sworders stood next to the
> Raynos.

Tara: Hey... does that mean there'd be Storm Sworder pilots? [They glare at her]
What? I can hope?

> “This is my other idea.” said Kevin.
> “Storm Sworders huh? Who’s gonna pilot them?” asked Naomi.
> “Jamie and I.”

Sandra: ...why did I know that he was going to say that? Why did I know that munky-
boy would also be an ace aerial Zoid pilot?
Tasch: Because... he can do everything real good like?
Sandra: Probably.
Christina: Poor Pierce. When she does show up in these things, it’s usually being
painfully paired with Jamie.
[Tara fumes]

> “But I’ve already got the Raynos! Your not planning to get rid of it are you?”
> “No, we’re keeping the Raynos. Just try the Sworder out, trust me, you’ll like it.” Kevin
> said, with a very large smile on his face.

Tara: Cuz, lik, the Storm Sworder is lik t3h k3wlzi3z!!11 Bah. Damn overrated Republican
fliers... Zabat's got more firepower, and slap a CP-09 on a Redler and it's just as good as
any Storm Sworder. And Storch is just as maneuverable, and packs more firepower as
well. I guess nobody likes 'em 'cause they got no UMG KEWL wingblades. Oh well.
Tasch: An' its all feathery too. That's kinda cool.

> “All right...”
> A little while later, Jamie was preparing to get the Sworder airborne. 
> “All right Jamie, HIT IT!” said Kevin shouting the last part into his head set. The Sworder
> roared off the runway. Jamie went through a series of high speed maneuvers that
> impress even Kevin.
> “Yo, Jamie. How ‘bout some Sim-Zoids to spice things up?”
> “Hell yes!” said Jamie,

Tara: Hello there, OOC Jamie! How are you today?

> said Jamie, buzzing the control tower.
> “Did Jamie just swear?”
> “Yeah, he did.”

Tara: Well, at least they acknowledged the OOCness...

> “Yeah, he did.” Jamie tore through the sim Zoids in two minutes even.
> “Damn...Jamie, you want some better competition?” 

Sandra [Pierce]: Hello? Canon rival here? Anyone listening?
Christina: Sit down and stay quiet, and maybe you’ll luck out and avoid this.

[The potplant rustles]

> “Sure, get your ass up here Kev.”

Tara [Kevin]: I'm up Zephyr's right now, actually.
Christina: Uh...

> Kevin took off the head-set and handed it to Leena.
> “He’s enjoying himself way to much.” said Kevin. His Sworder was airborne minutes
> later. The two started a dog-fight immediately. Jamie came at Kevin with the wing
> blades, but Kevin gone into an inverted loop that brought him up behind Jamie.
> Kevin popped off a few shots at Jamie before he rolled out of the way. Kevin pulled
> a snap-roll to keep on Jamie’s tail. Everyone at the base that wasn’t busy had set
> up an air-show kinda’ thing set up. People were amazed at the skill the two
> possessed. 

Tara: Another exciting battle! *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

> “Kevin, what’s taking so long? I saw you take down a Geno Saurer in a minute!”

Tasch: Actually, it wasn't his doing. Sandra sabotaged the Genosaurer and made it
look like Kevin beat it, just to get Blake on her side.

> “Air combat’s nothing like ground combat Leena, give it time.” Kevin said, going
> through a tight roll.

Christina: Oh, that's why he's ONLY equal to Jamie, huh?

> “Whatever.” said Leena. Kevin had finally scored a hit on Jamie, and he went into
> a dive. ‘Things are about to get a hell of a lot harder.’ thought Kevin.
> “The Wild Eagle is back in action!”
> “Not good! Not good!” said Kevin, hittin’ the Sworder’s top speed.

All: Run away! Run away!

> “You think you can get away from me?”
> “Don’t have to.” said Kevin, an idea coming to him. Wild Eagle had extended the
> wing blades and was coming for Kevin. Kevin rolled his Zoid and lined him self up
> perfectly as Wild Eagle passed over. He folded his wings and extended his own
> blades, cutting into the other Sworder. Kevin fell away almost as soon as it
> happened.

Christina: Aren't you guys getting a bit carried away for a mock dogfight?
Sandra: Maybe Jamie's hoping for a 'training accident'.
Christina: That was dark.

> “That was good, but this is better.” Kevin saw that Wild eagle had gotten behind him
> and gotten a TARGET LOCK.

Tara: Whoa! Random capitalization just snapped me out of my stupor! Just as I was
getting comfy, too. Aww...

> Wild Eagle scored some hits on Kevin, before he did a
> snap-roll. The two went on like this for another hour. Eventually, Oscar flew in on
> the dog fight. Buzzed by the two Sworders, He landed at the base to find out
> what’s going on. On the ground, Doc told him about how Jamie and Kevin where
> battling and that they had been at for over an hour and a half.

Tasch: Of course, the fatigue from the G-forces and acceleration an' stuff shoulda
completely worn them out long ago. Even a real good pilot can only take a few minutes 
of worth dogfightin' at a time.
Sandra: I'd imagine that doing that kind of stuff would be an incredible strain.
Tasch: Oh yeah. In a Storm Sworder, you can go SPLAT before ya know it.

> “Man, those two have some talent. I couldn’t keep up with them even if I tried.”
> “Well Oscar, that’s what happens when you get older. You slow down.”
> “If you say so Steve.” said Oscar, looking out at the dog-fight.

Rick: Up next on Random Cameo Theatre, Oscar Hemeros.
Sandra: Don't make me hurt you.

> They had gone on
> for another thirty minutes when someone in the control tour sounded the alarm.

Tasch: This buncha tourists were exposed to some really lousy service, got all the
bad rooms and had their food tainted with gamma rays. This bunch didn't. Let's see
what happens.

> “Marauders team Storm Sworders, we have picked up a large object on radar.
> Believed to be hostile. Intercept and destroy if hostile.”
> “Time for a real dog-fight. Up to it Wild Eagle?”

Christina [Jamie, strained]: Gimme... a... minute... need... to get eyes... back into
head... spots... dizziness...
Sandra [Kevin, strained]: You... you wuss... I'm.... I'm fine... all... good... ready to...
go... as soon as... heart gets back... into chest.

> “You better believe it.” The pair headed off in the object’s direction.

Christina: Weren’t they equipped for training?
Sandra: Far as I can tell, training means “Try to fillet each other.”
Christina: Oh. [Pause] Go Jamie!
Sandra: [Grins] You’re learning.

> “Imperial Whale King! Repeat, it’s an Imperial Whale King.” The pair went off in
> opposite directions and charged the Whale King.

[Tara points to the left, points to the right, points ahead, then shakes her head]

> It started releasing Zabats immediately. They engaged the Zabats with relative ease,

Tara: See my rant earlier about Imperial flying types being vastly underrated.
Sorry, but in the sky, smaller is better, actually. Makes you a less obvious target.
Two Storm Sworders versus a mob of Zabats? No contest. Those Sworders are
gonna end up all swiss-cheese-like by the time they get in close...
Tasch: And' their dogfightin' tactics are awful. You never attack a larger group on yer
own. That's a quick way to get yerself isolated an' shot down.

> but the Whale King was
> causing a little more trouble. 
> “Wild Eagle, we need to cut off the guns!”
> “Roger that.” They proceeded to cut off the Whale Kings armaments.  The guns at the
> base tore the Whale King apart once it got into range.

Sandra: ...well this whole attack made no sense whatsoever.
Christina: I'd love how they're able to run straight at the guns and cut them off without
being hit.
Tasch: Well, since they’re not actually firin’...

> “Yo, Wild Eagle, lets buzz the control tower before we land.”

Tara: For yet more generic airforce movie stupidity, press one.
Tasch: Hey look, that Kifir just changed from camouflage to plain grey after it took off!

> “Lets do it!” The two Storm Sworders went full throttle past the control tower, causing
> a lot of havoc inside. The two set down, got out, and Jamie and Kevin were
> praised beyond all belief.

Sandra: Rah rah, Kevin's the king of the world.
Tara: Yes, all hail King Stu. I pledge allegiance to thee.

> That evening, Kevin was taking a shower after doing some repairs to the Sworders.
> It hadn’t help that The Zoids wanted to talk with one another. He had been nearly
> thrown off a few times. Kevin heard the bathroom door open.
> “Who is it?”

[They make chainsaw revving sounds]

> “Just me.”
> “Hey Leena, how’s it gonin’?” said Kevin not giving Leena a second thought.

Christina: No doubt she gets that a lot.

> “Pretty good.” Over the shower, Kevin didn’t hear Leena’s clothes fall on the floor.

Sandra: Nor the sound of the shotgun being pumped.

> She stepped in with him. 
> “What’s up, need a shower and couldn’t wait?”
> “No.” said Leena, with a seductive look on her face.

Christina: Leena can't do 'seductive'. She can do 'psychotic', 'terrifying' and 'homicidal'
rather well though.

> She pushed her body right against
> his and wrapped her arms around him. Kevin looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
> “Is this what’s up?”
> “Yup, it’s been a while since we’ve done anything, with the war and all.” she said,
> kissing him on the cheek.
> “Don’t worry, the war’ll be over soon.”

Sandra: That's because you have WUNDERKEVIN who has all the power of cheese!
Tara: Is it lemon-time?

> “I hope so.” Kevin returned Leena’s embrace and the kiss.

All: SPEW!


> 5 - Now Isaac’s Back

Tara: He's back, and this time it’s with a Scout Fox!

> Disclaimer:we know

All: Seen it!

> The Marauders

Tasch: And Marauder II, Marauder IIC, Dragon Fire, Malestrom, Nightsky, Rakshasa
and Timber Wolf.
Sandra: Timber Wolf is only a Marauder in fanon.
Tasch: I bet they'll change that with the next revision.

> time of leisure was over, they were being deployed for a search-and
> -destroy mission.

Sandra: If they find any shred of credibility, plausibility or originality, they'll find
some way to bump it off.

> “Marauders Team, ready to deploy.” said Kevin over the com system.
> “Roger that Marauders, you’re good to go whenever you ready.”
> “You heard her Doc, lets move out.”
> “Aye, sir.” said Doc, mockingly.
> “Ha ha, very funny Doc.”
> “I thought so.”
> “You’re impossible.”
> “I agree.” said Jamie. Siege growled in agreement too.

Christina: ...hmmm, given that Kevin's the only person he can actually "talk" to, 
what do you think are the odds that he'll get more "dialogue" then most of the
other characters?
Sandra: It can't be a bet if we all agree.

> “Alright people, listen up. Jamie, Leon, and Naomi are going to stay behind and guard
> the Hover Cargo.”
> “Understood.”
> “Everyone else is with me.”
> “Understood.”

Sandra [Kevin]: I'm just handing out arbitrary orders here.
Others: Understood.
Sandra [Kevin]: I really have no idea what I'm doing!
Others: WE KNOW!

> “Stop being so formal guys. I know I’m the senior officer, but come on.”
> “Alright, we’ll chill.” said Brad.
> “Anyways, we’re going after an imperial unit that’s been giving the republic scout
> troops trouble.”
> “How much trouble?” asked Naomi.

Tasch: He took their Woggles.

> “Lets put it this way. There’s no more scout unit.”

Tara: Can we hope that it was a unit of Scout Foxes? Stupid fricking fannony MMMish
things...

> “Oh.”
> “We’ll be moving through dense woods at night so you’ll need to pilot my Blade Liger
> Bit.”
> “Why can’t I pilot the Liger 0?”
> “Because it’s white, you idiot!” yelled Leena.

Sandra: Hang on, you're pilot of a Zoid that's kitchen sink green. I don't think you can
lecture anyone on camouflage.
Tasch: But its such a calmin' colour.
Tara: He could use Zero Jaeger, which is much darker in colour. And would be more useful
on a recon mission then your average Bladey, being smaller, faster and more agile and
having the radars an' stuff.

> “Oh, right. But, I’ve never piloted a Blade Liger before.”

Christina: That didn’t stop Van.

> “Then head to the simulator to get used to the controls.”
> “Okay.”
> “Are we good?”
> “Yup.”
> “Bit, hit the simulator, everyone else, make sure your Zoids are in good working
> order.”

Christina: [Leena] Don’t we have technicians for that?
Tasch: [Kevin] Well... Yeah... I know, but... I just wanted to give some orders...

> “Well Bit, it looks like you’ve learned to pilot the Blade Liger pretty quickly.” said
> Leena.

Tara: And one INTENSE TRAINING SCENE later.

> “It’s not that hard. It’s a lot like Liger’s controls.”

Tasch: That's because they jus' re-used the same model sheets.

> “Well, I wouldn’t know.”
> “Right.”
> “Everyone, no more chatter. Speak up only if you see something that doesn’t look
> friendly.”
> “Roger.”

Christina [Leena]: Look out! There's this self-important dickhead in a hideously ugly
green Zoid right in front of us!

> The four Zoids moved slowly and cautiously through the forest. Little did they know,
> they were being watched by a group of Zaber Fangs lead by a Gun Tiger.

Tara: OH NOES! Not the GUN TIGER! Run for the hills! We don't stand a chance against the
unstoppable might of the GUN TIGER!!!

> And they had
> an ace up their sleeve if things didn’t go their way.

Tasch: They had the monkey Destruct Button. They had no idea what it did, but dangit if
they weren't gonna use it any way.

> Kevin broke com silence. “Anything yet?”

All: SHHH!

> “No. Wait, I just saw something.”
> “Where?”
> “About 20 yards ahead. Something silver.”

Sandra: 20 yards ahead? You guys might as well be spitting at each other!

> “I’ve got a bad felling about this.”
> Just then, they were hit from all sides.
> “Split into two groups!” shouted Kevin.

Christina: Since they’re surrounded, surely that would just weaken their defence.

> He and Leena ran off in one direction, drawing 10 Zaber Fangs and the Gun Tiger to them.

Sandra: Oh no! The Horrible Gun Tiger is coming to get us! What will we do?
Tara: Run, before it nibbles our ankles off!

> Bit and Brad ran off in the other direction,
> drawing the remaining Zabers after them.

> “What’s that silver Zoid?”
> “It’s a Gun Tiger, a newer saber tooth tiger Zoid. Got more firepower than a Zaber
> Fang.”

Sandra: Um, no, fic. Guntiger's a little itty bitty Midget Zoid. I've seen Spud whack them
aside with a single paw. I think you've got your scaling wrong.
Tasch: Well, Guntiger's Static Magnums bigger then' Saber Tiger's back gun, so I spose
That’s what he meant.
Christina: I heard that particular mistake occurred in a lot of fics...
Tara: Gun Tigers were red, last time I checked... nor did they have Saber teeth.  But I
digress. Gun Tiger = cute little urban combat Zoid, not some big, scary uber tiger.
Tasch: Now if it was a Brastle Tiger... That'd be scary. But it'd be cool too, 'cause
Brastle is fun to say.

> “Great.”

> “How many Zabers are following us Bit?”
> “At least 15.”
> “Perfect.”

> The Zaber Fangs were taken out easily,

Tara: Like every other strong yet-frequently underestimated Zoid in this fic. Poor Zabers...
I think I'll buy myself a Zaber Fang someday. Maybe get a heavy beam cannon or a long
range pulse laser rifle for it and paint it black with hot pink trim.
Sandra: Try the Imperial Hyperbeam Cannon. That Saber Version is very nasty, trust me.
Tara: Thanks for that. I'd like to give piloting one a try... a nice warmup before I try out
Bladey BI. But I'll stick with my Heldy forever. I prefer a sneak attack over a straight-up
battle.
Christina: Uh, guys? Fic?
Sandra: Say, did they ever get the Holotech upgrade down your way?
Tara: Yeah, but it’s pretty damn expensive. Hey, with that Hyperbeam Cannon...
Sandra: See? Don’t laugh at the Zaber Fang.
Christina: Fic?
Sandra: We know. We just don’t care.

> but when the group finally rejoined, the Gun
> Tiger gave them some real problems.

Christina: It was nipping at their heels! What will they ever do?

> It had managed to take out Brad and was real
> close to taking out Leena.

Tara: ...The visual imagery of a Gun Tiger taking down a Shadow Fox and a Gun Sniper
is a very amusing one. XD
Christina: I imagine that a Gun Tiger scaled up to the size of a Zaber Fang would be pretty
nasty.
Tara: True. But my version's more amusing.

> “Guys? A little help?” Leena asked, trying to get a fix on the Gun Tiger.
> “Just a minute,” Kevin said, lining up for a shot.
> “Too late.” said someone in a red Zoid. The Spiner was knocked over, not knowing
> what was happening.

Christina: Why does everyone wait in this? Why not join the ambush and support the Zaber
Fangs?
Sandra: He thinks it’s more dramatic. Or he’s an idiot, your choice.

> “What was that?” said Kevin, holding his head. Bit had managed to take out the Gun
> Tiger, but not before it took out Leena.

Christina: [Bored] Oh look. The canon characters were disabled before the main fight again.

> “Look for yourself.” said an amazed Bit. Kevin got the Spiner up and saw a Zoid that
> looked exactly like the Liger 0. Except the teeth and paws were gray, the armor was
> red, and the armor on the main body was gold.
> “What is that?”

Sandra: Yet another Zoid that's been used to death in post NC0 Doom.
Tara: This would be a dramatic moment... if we hadn't seen it back in chapter one.
Christina: Well, of the three Zoids we saw in the hanger in chapter one, we've seen two
of them so far. Logic says...
Sandra: You said a dirty word. Go wash your mouth out.

> “Meet the Liger 0 X.” said the man in the Zoid.

Dameon: Dude, that's a Liger Zero EM you're piloting, not a Liger Zero X.
Tara: ...What are you doing here?
Dameon: Just passin' by.

> “Wait, that voice sounds familiar.” said Bit. The Liger 0 X’s pilot showed up on the com.
> “Isaac!!!”
> “Yup! I’m back little bro.”

Sandra [Isaac]: And I dumped that damn Glow Fox at last. Hooray!
Tara: What happened to the Isaacmobile?
Sandra [Isaac]: Look at this thing! Static dischargers, dual-use blades, objective
sensors, drum generators, clear blue panels... it rocks.
Tara: But I miss the Isaacmobile.
Sandra [Isaac]: Oh, I traded that in.
Tara: How could you trade that in?
Sandra [Isaac]: I needed more EPs.

> “But I thought you were still in prison?”
> “Nope, got out on good behavior.”

Tara: He was the warden's "special friend."

> “Right, more like the empire broke you out right?”
> “Give the boy a prize.”
> “Great, first the Geno Breaker, now the Liger 0 X. Life couldn’t get any better.” said
> Kevin, dismayed.

Sandra: Oh boo hoo. Cry me a river godboy. You try staring down your best friend
who has gone nuts and is in a Deathsaurer and call me back.
Tasch: And did ya?
Sandra: Well... no. But someone else I know did.

> “Yes it could.” said Isaac.
> “Oh god, how?”
> “You’ve got to fight me to get out of this forest.”

Tasch [Isaac]: NONE SHALL PASS!

> “That’s it? No problem!” said Bit.
> “Bit, remember, your not in the Liger 0.”
> “Oh yeah,”
> “We’re screwed.”
> “Not yet, lets just fight him like we would fight anyone else.”

Christina: So you'll say "one battle later" and he'll be dead. Brilliant plan!

> “All right.”
> “Then let the battle begin.” said Isaac. The three Zoids charged one another, the two
> Ligers hitting each other first. While Isaac was occupied with Bit, Kevin casually walked
> the Spiner behind the Liger 0 X and put his foot on it’s back, pushing it down.

Sandra: Could this guy make it any more obvious?
Tara: Then the Dark Spiner poked the Zero X in the chest...

> “You think it’s going to be that easy?” said Isaac, confidently. He engaged the 0 X’s ion
> boosters and flipped over Bit and charged him. Bit wasn’t expecting it and was hit hard,
> sending the Blade Liger to the ground. 

Tasch: I have a theory!
Sandra: Which is?
Tasch: Kevin told Bit to use the Blade Liger instead of Liger Zero so he'd be weak against
Isaac so Kevin could beat him instead!
Sandra: Again, your logic amazes me.

> “See?”
> “Shut up.” said Kevin, closing in on Isaac. Isaac jumped at Kevin to use his Strike Laser
> Claw, but Kevin used the Spiner size to bat him away. 

Christina: Notice again how Bit is doing his all to fight off Isaac and barely able to touch
him, and then Kevin's able to effortlessly bat him aside in one go.
Sandra: And your point is?
Christina: There is probably a fascinating psychological case study in all this.

> “Is that the best you’ve got Isaac? Cause if it is, you’ve already lost.” 

Potplant: You were already dead.
Tasch: And then his head explodes into a mess of ampersands!
Christina: What was that anyway?
Tara: The potplant, or what  Tasch said?
Christina: I don’t know.

> Isaac looked very distraught, realizing that Kevin was a far superior pilot.

Sandra: Well gee, what a surprise that was.

> That was his
> best move, and Kevin deflected it like it was nothing. He’d have to be better prepared
> next time.
> “Until we meet again.” said Isaac angrily.

Tara [Kevin]: Take that, vile Fanon Character!

> He ran off into the darkness. The Blade Liger got up. 
> “Guess Blade here doesn’t respond to me like he does to you.” said Bit.
> “Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry, you won’t have to pilot him again. We’re gonna’ need
> the Liger 0 all the time now.”

Sandra: Good plan! Give your Blade Liger to some other guy so he can gain the benefits
of piloting an uberpowerful Zoid, thus increasing your overall capabilities.
Christina: Sarcasm comes naturally to you, doesn't it?

> said Kevin, something in the back of his mind telling him
> something wasn’t right. Everyone was picked up by the Hover Cargo and Kevin told
> the Republic about the Liger 0 X. They were as worried as Kevin. First the Geno
> Breaker, now the Liger 0 X. What was going to pop up next?

Tasch: Well, I'm bettin' on a Gungyarados... 'cause it was on Channel Zi.
Tara: Naw, it's more likely gonna be Koenig Wolf. That thing ALWAYS shows up in NC0
DOOM.

> A man walked into the imperial throne room to inform the Warlord of the “progress”
> they’ve been making.
> “Warlord Prozen, the work on the Death Stinger is going according to schedule, and
> it should be ready within the next three weeks.”

Christina: Damn, I called it.

> “Excellent.”

Tasch: Mah gord... Prozen is Davros!
Sandra: Nice. Most people would have gone for the 'Monty Burns' ref. But not you.


> 6 - Kevin’s Breakdown

> Disclaimer:we know

Tara: I see he’s keeping his high standards of disclaimer wit.

> The Marauders were fighting Zephyr again,

Christina: Honey, the kids are fighting again!

> and they were doing much better than last
> time. Naomi was the only one out at the moment.

Tasch [Naomi]: I had nothin' to do with any of this! Why did I get beat up?

> “Bit! Leon! Spread out and attack from both sides!”
> “On it!”
> “Leena, weasel unit assault!”
> “All right!”
> “Jamie, dive bomb!”
> “Got it.”
> “Brad, your with me!”
> “Let’s do it!” 

Tara [Kevin]: I'm going to give out some arbitrary orders now. Naomi, you walk over to
Brad and say "Sodawater rhubarb" to him. Bit, you pick up something heavy and walk
over there.

> The Zoids charged one another, everyone’s attack hitting its’ target. When the smoke
> cleared, they saw that Zephyr had deployed his shield. 

Christina [Zephyr]: Oh! So THAT's what that button does. I did wonder.

> “Joy.” mumbled Kevin.

Sandra: So... while you have him stupidly outnumbered, attack him from behind or his
flanks where his shield can't cover him.

> Zephyr came at Leena, grabbing the Gun Sniper in one of the
> Geno Breakers’ buster claws. It tightened its’ grip and caused the vulcan cannons the
> break in half.
> “Lemmie’ go!”
> “Why?”
> “Because she said so!” said Kevin, ramming the Geno Breaker. It didn’t let go of Leena
> though. Zephyr threw Leena aside, knocking her unconscious.
> “Leena! You’ll pay for that.”

Tara [Kevin]: Ho hum. Her life is in danger? It'd be really nice if I cared...
Sandra: No! Give me more motivation! Give me more emotion! [Whacks Tara over the
head]
Tara [Kevin]: Aaaaaa!
Sandra: That's good, now try it a little higher. [Whacks her again]
Tara [Kevin]: Aaaaaa!

> “Right.” Zephyr distanced himself from Kevin

Christina: Wise.

> and Leena. He got his charged particle
> gun ready. As he aimed at Kevin, the sail on the Spiner started glowing and waving
> back and forth in an almost hypnotic motion. Zephyr looked confused and then
> dismissed what the Spiner was doing.

Christina [Zephyr]: Oooh... finny...

> He fired at the Spiner, hitting it dead on. Then,
> his particle beam just fizzled out.
> “What?!?!?!”
> “HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!” 

Christina: And while he was laughing, Zephyr caught him with the X-Breakers.
Tasch: And the mysterious spiky pointy thing!
Christina: You’d be amazed how many Breaker pilots forget about it. Heck, I keep forgetting I
have a head gun.

> “What are you so happy about?” asked Zephyr, looking at Kevin over the com.
> “That won’t work anymore Zephyr. I can use my sail to ionize the air around me to
> cancel out a charged particle blast. Two blasts can’t cancel each other out, but this
> can cancel out a blast!” said Kevin, trying to suppress his laughter because of the
> look on Zephyrs’ face.

Tara: And this is a surprise? Didn't godboy do this in the last fight with cheese-rival?
Sandra: ...and probably every time before that.
Christina: He should be toast.

> “WELL CANCEL THIS!!!!!” shouted Zephyr, aiming his particle gun at Leenas’ Gun
> Sniper. Leena had woken up and looked around at what was going on.
> “No.” said Leena as Zephyr fired and Kevin fly towards her.

Tara: Oh no. Please. Not the mind probe.
Sandra: EMOTION, people. EMOTION!

> “Siege, drop the foot locks on my mark.” said Kevin, starting to ionize the air around
> him. Kevin watched as the blast grew ever nearer to Leena.
> “Now Siege!!!” Siege dropped the foot locks, but Kevin had Siege drop them too early.

Christina: Notice how he shifts the blame for the mistake from himself to the Organoid.
Yet another case of Cheesy infallibility.
Sandra: I blame myself for all my screw ups.
Christina: Does that happen often?
Sandra: Count the number of eyes I have and ask me again.

> He had up to the Gun Snipers’ mid-section protected. Half the blast disappeared while
> the other half cut through the Gun Sniper, melting it.
> “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Leena as the blast ripped through her
> Zoid. Kevin watched in horror Leena was thrown around her cockpit. She went silent
> not long before the blast stopped.

Sandra: It’s completely random, but at this point I’m wondering what are the circumstances of
the battle and what everyone else is doing while they yell at each other. [Pause] Anyway,
back to it.

> “Leena!?!” 
> She didn’t answer.
> “LEENA!?!?!” shouted Kevin, desperately. Still no answer. Kevin turned to Zephyr.
> “That was a very bad move...” said Kevin, his voice sounding darker than anyone
> had ever heard it.

Tara: Of course. Never attack the hero's loved ones, 'cause he'll fly into a rage and pwn
you. It *always* happens.

> “Why?” asked Zephyr mockingly. Kevin hit the Geno Breaker, sending it flying. Zephyr
> looked up, seeing the Spiner running towards him. He engaged his engines, moving
> away as fast as he could.

Tara: Oh no! He's BUMPED me! I've got to go! Whooosh!

> “That’s right! Run you COWARD!!!” shouted Kevin.
> “Should I go after him?” asked Jamie.
> “We have more important business to attend to.” said Kevin, looking at the battered
> and broken Gun Sniper.

Christina [Jamie]: I mean, I could chase him down blast him in the back as he runs.
Sandra [Kevin]: We need to save Leena!
Christina [Jamie]: It’s not like I'd be able to do much for her from up here.
Sandra [Kevin]: We need to go!
Christina [Jamie]: We've got a perfect chance to take him out now!
Sandra [Kevin]: GOD DAMN IT, JUST DO IT!
Christina [Jamie]: Whoah, okay!

> Back at the republic base, Leena was put into the hospital wing. The doctors had
> stabilized her, but she hadn’t woken up yet. She wasn’t in a coma, she just couldn’t
> wake up yet. Kevin figured that pretty much counted as a coma,

Sandra: ...no, there's a world of difference, numbnuts.
Christina: Speaking from experience?

> but it didn’t matter.
> Leena wasn’t waking up. That’s all Kevin knew. And that fact alone had Kevin
> extremely worried.

Tasch: Don't worry, Dr Grace Holloway's here to look after her.
Sandra: That was obscure... and cruel.

> “Don’t worry Kev, Leena’s always been a fighter, this won’t get her down for long.”
> said Bit, trying to reassure Kevin.

Christina: He should know, he has the scars to prove it.

> “I hope you’re right...” murmured Kevin. He walked off to get Leena a new Gun Sniper,
> just like her old one. He had really hoped Bit was right.

Sandra: We'll just assume that in Kevin's little fantasy world, there are no issues with
wartime shortages, supply and demand, requisitioning parts and the fact that no sane
commander would want to cover the support and maintenance that thing would need.

> Over the next few days, Leena had yet to wake up. And Kevin had been reliving the
> moment this had happened over and over again in his sleep. Finally, when Kevin
> was seeing it again, he woke with a start. He looked at the engagement ring on
> his left hand for a moment, then clenched his hand into a fist.

Tara: He *has* been missing her.

> Zephyr was going to pay for what he had done, Kevin swore his life on it.

Tasch: Oh no! He's going to go out on a vengeance trip an' beat up Zephyr!
Sandra: And this is any different to normal how?
Tasch: Well... uhh... y'know, I can't think.

> He got up and got dressed.

Tara: Aww... I was hoping he was gonna go out naked.
Sandra: Kevin may be many things, but he's no pantsless assasin.
Vergamin: That's right! Only I am the pansless assas- URK!
Tara: ...did he just get taken out by the pot plant?
Sandra: Now you're being silly.

[Vergamin's body is dragged offstage]

> Siege had woken up with all the commotion.
> “Come on Siege, we’re going.” said Kevin, strapping his gun onto his belt.
> “No” growled Siege.

Tara: [Kevin] Oh, please?
Tasch: [Siege] Nope.
Tara: [Kevin] But I’m doing a brooding manly revenge bit here!
Tasch: [Siege] Don’t wanna.
Tara: [Kevin] But how am I meant to be impossibly macho without my full array of plot
contrivances?
Tasch: [Siege] I'm sure you can just pull something out of your arse.
Sandra: The Spiner already did.

> “What do you mean no!?!?” said Kevin, rather agitated.
> “I’m not going.” rumbled Siege.

Christina: Oh, come on, Siege? Don't you want to throw away your badge and take
the law into your own hands and teach those evil South American drug dealers that
they can't hide behind Diplomatic Immunity?

> “Fine,” Kevin sighed.
> “At least looked after Leena for me.” said Kevin, softening for a moment.
> “Sure,” growled Siege. 
> “Thanks.” Siege watched Kevin run out the door and towards the hanger.
> “Good luck.” muttered Siege, knowing what Kevin had set out to do.

Sandra [Siege]: Well, he’s gone off to get himself killed. Ho hum. What's on the tube?

> Kevin left the base and went in the general direction that Zephyr had went in.

Tasch: See it’s ten miles this way, four miles thattaway, something something something, and
then a left turn at Albequeque.

> There
> was an imperial base along the route he had taken, so Kevin figured that he had
> gone there. And that was where Kevin was heading.

Sandra: Straight into the painfully obvious deathtrap.
Tara: [Kevin] Hey, free birdseed!

> Well Zephyr, you barely managed to get away from that one.” said Isaac, walking
> over to Zephyr, who was overseeing the last of the repairs to the Geno Breaker.

Tara [Isaac]: Boy do you suck.
Sandra [Zephyr]: Oh yeah? You got just as spanked as me.
Tara [Isaac]: At least I have a life outside this fic. You were created to be spanked.
Sandra [Zephyr]: ...I hate all existence.

> “You didn’t fair much better in your first encounter with them you know.” Zephyr shot
> back. Isaac frowned.

Christina: One-all.

> “Well, what’s done is done.”
> “Agreed.” said Zephyr. As the repairs finished on the Geno Breaker, the base alarms
> went off. Isaac and Zephyr ran to the control room to see what was going on. When
> they got there, they learned that the Dark Spiner was approaching the base rapidly.
> They units the base had deployed were already gone, courtesy of Kevins’ charged
> particle gun.

Christina: What kind of early warning system did they use anyway?
Sandra: Fred Fleet with a pair of old binoculars.
Christina: Ouch.

> Zephyr and Isaac both mobilized their Zoids, Isaac having the Imperial
> armor on his liger. 
> “It looks like I’m going to get two birds with one stone.” said Kevin, looking at his
> opponents. He had only been as angry as he was once before in his life. It was
> after his family was killed. His anger was quelled after the Backdraft group had
> challenged him to a battle and it had taken them 15 Zaber Fangs to take him and
> his Shield Liger down.

Tara: Yay! Plot dump! UMG THE BACKDRAFT KILLED HIS FAMILY FOR NO APPARENT
REASON!!?!?!!1 I never would have guessed!
Sandra: They did it because they’re EBIL, okay.
Tara: But-
Sandra: Ebil. No reason, just Ebil.

> That wasn’t going to happen this time, nothing was going to
> stop him. Kevin prepped his charged particle gun.

Tara: WHICH DOES NOT EXIST...
Tasch: Shhh. You'll spoil it fer him.

> Zephyr and Isaac watched as Kevin got his charged particle gun ready.

Christina [Isaac]: Quick! Let’s use our superior speed and mobility to attack him while
he's locked in place and thus vulnerable and without anyone to back him up!
Sandra [Zephyr]: What kind of lame plan is that?
Christina [Isaac]: I suppose you've got a better one, right?
Sandra [Zephyr]: We stand and stare like slack-jawed morons while he spanks us
good.
Christina [Isaac]: Seems reasonable to me.

> “Isaac, get behind me!” shouted Zephyr,

Tara: Wow. I didn't know you guys had that kind of a relationship.

> engaging his shield. Kevins’ blast went right
> by them, instead hitting the bases’ ammo dump. A large portion of the base was
> engulfed in flames.
> “That was just to make sure you two don’t go back to reload.”

Sandra: A brilliant move, if not for the fact that they're both using energy weapons.
Dumbarse.

> “The Spiner may be powerful, but lets see if it can handle the power of an ultimate
> X and a Geno Breaker!” shouted Isaac.

Christina: But you just said it was more... Oh, forget it.

> The three Zoids charged one another and
> started tearing furiously at one another. Kevin noticed that Isaac had a new armor
> for the Liger Zero X. He had installed the Imperium armor.

Dameon: And now you've got them the wrong way around, Nice going there.
Christina: Where are all these people coming from?
Tara: We should spray this place.

> Isaac had also gotten
> better, and Zephyr was no push over. ‘This is going to be fun,’ thought Kevin.
> The Zoids continued the smash one another. 

> Kevin had taken Isaac out of the battle,

Tara [Kevin]: Take that, vile Fanon Character!
Sandra: You've already done that.
Tara: I know. But it feels good.

>  but Zephyr was about at the same level as Kevin,

Christina: But while Zephyr had bonus levels in Geno Types, Kevin has bonuses to
attack, evade, initiative as well as reduced EP and multi-shot abilities.

> and it had proven to be a problem. Zephyr was getting cocky though,
> and he was making mistakes. And Kevin was taking advantage of them. Kevin
> had gained the upper hand not long after. Zephyr could no longer use his charged
> particle gun.

Tara: His cannon had gone limp. ^_^

> Kevin used the opportunity and hit Zephyr with his own. Zephyr still
> had his shield left, but it didn’t last long and he was thrown back. Zephyr
> expected Kevin to come over and finish him off,

Tara [Zephyr]: I may be about to get butt-raped again, but at least it'll be for the last
time. So it can't be that bad.

> but he didn’t. Instead, Kevin
> aimed his gun at the base and fired. When the smoke cleared, there was nothing
> left of the base.

Tasch [Kevin]: Now, all yer base are belong to me!
Sandra: You got that all wrong.
Tasch: I did?
Sandra: Yep.
Tasch: Ah, nutbunnies.

> “Your time has yet to come.” said Kevin walking away. Zephyr looked on in
> amazement.

Sandra: ...well that's a very dramatic statement, but the *sensible* thing to do would
be to gloop him on the spot.
Christina: Do you have any enemies?
Sandra: No living ones.

> A little of Kevins‘ anger went away when he arrived at the base. Leena had woken up,
> and was there to greet Kevin.

Sandra: It’s a miracle! She walks! All Praise the Almighty Kevin!
Tasch: Where Kevin is yer average deity who don't know nothin' about nothin'.

> Kevin had never been so happy in his life. Siege walked
> up and let out a happy roar, glad to see that Kevin had come back in one piece.
> “Yeah, I’m happy to see you too Siege.”

Tara: [Kevin] Fat lot of good you do for this fic. Say, why’d my Spiner bother to crap you out
anyway?

> “We’re all happy to see you Kev.” said Naomi, walking up to Kevin.
> “Hey Naomi! Kev’s mine, you can’t have him!” Leena said, very annoyed.
> “Don’t worry, I already have someone.” said Naomi, motioning to Brad. Brad blushed,
> probably for the first time in his life. Everyone couldn’t help but to laugh.

Tara: Awwwww... look at the happy-sorta-canon couple! <3
Sandra: Feh. What's canon got to do with it?
Tara: Well... ummm... good point.

> Everyone
> went into the base, Kevin telling them what he had been up to, and asking Leena
> how long ago she woke up. The best thing was when Kevin walked into the hanger
> to see Leenas new Gun Sniper having her old one’s combat data uploaded and
> outfitted for combat.

Christina: So Leena’s Zoid is more important to him than Leena?
Sandra: Eh, he said it.
Tara: Zoids never expect you to call them in the morning.

> Kevin could find a reason to still be angry, but he was too happy
> to care what the reason was.

Christina: Could it be because Zephyr was still out there and now had even more
reasons to kill you since you humiliated him?

> 7 - Aquatic Assault

All [Singing]: Sealab, underneath the water! Sealab, at the bottom of the sea...
Sandra [Howling Mad Murphy]: Fignuts.

> Disclaimer:I don't own Zoids, but I do own the characters Kevin, Zephyr, and Siege.
> (felt like written an actuall disclaimer this time)

Tasch: An' y'know what? Y'all can keep 'em.

> It had been almost three weeks since the incident with Zephyr. Kevins’ anger was pretty
> much gone being that Leena had made a full recovery and the team was being assigned
> their next mission. They were currently in being briefed on the upcoming mission.

Christina: All briefings are conducted by Generic Army Guys.
Tara: Aaah! Kaiju-Fodder!

> “Listen up Marauders, this battle will be conducted in a terrain you are all unfamiliar
> with.”
> “What kind of terrain sir?” asked Kevin.

Sandra: A vast expanse of Pink Truffle Sponge.
Tara: That is pretty weird.

> “You will be staging an amphibious assault.”
> “Actually, some of my team have experience with underwater Zoids. I, myself, have
> piloted a Barigator before and Bit and Leena have both piloted War Sharks.”

Christina: Any idea who said that?
Sandra: Assume that if anyone is speaking, it’s Kevin.
Tara: What about Harry? He randomly joined up, and he piloted a Wardick too.
Tasch: Why’d you call it a Wardick?
Tara: [Giggles] Why not?

> “Good. This assault will require the use of three Barigators and three Hammer Heads.
> The Hammer Head pilots will be-”
> “Sir,” Kevin interrupted.
> “Yes?”
> “Can I assign who pilots what? I do believe I know the capabilities of my team better
> than you sir.”

Christina: Sure thing. High ranking army officers must all bow down before the supreme
wisdom of Kevin.
Sandra: Never mind that this is the sort of operation that would be better handled by
a dedicated aquatic warfare unit, rather then randomly assign the operation to a group
of people who, being blunt, have very little experience in underwater combat.

> “All right then, you will be in charge of assignment.”
> “Yes sir.” said Kevin, snapping a salute from where he sat.
> “Bit, Brad, and I will pilot the Barigators. And Leena, Leon, and Naomi will pilot the
> Hammer Heads.”

Christina: Since you made such a fuss about it, you can of course explain your assignments.
Tasch: [Kevin] Sure. Easy. That’s obvious. It’s because... LOOK! The Winged Victory of
Samthrace!

> “Understood. Prepare to deploy.”
> “Sir” said everyone standing and snapping a salute. All except for Doc that is.
> “Dismissed.”

> “Why’d you put me in a Hammer Head Kevin?” asked an aggravated Naomi.
> “Well, you’ve always liked to have a feeling of power...” Kevin said, trailing off.

Tara: [Brad] Yeah...

> “Right.” replied Naomi, still none to happy.

Christina: No, you're not making any sense at all. Why not assign Jamie to a Hammer-
head, seeing as it can fly and he's got the most experience with flying Zoids?

> “Leena’s in one because of the fire power.”
> “I thought that’s why I got assigned to one.” 
> “And Leon, well Leon’s piloting one just cause.”
> “Nice logic Kev.” said Leon.

Tara: Never mind close combat seems to be Leon's forte. All we ever saw him do in the
Shield Liger was ram stuff, and then he got the Bladey... why even bring him along?
Christina: I've gotten the distinct impression that the Authour likes him, probably simply
because he pilots a Bladey.

> “Thanks.” said Kevin, smiling lopsidedly. He thought he saw someone following them
> when he turned to look at Leon, but he figured it was just his imagination.
> “So why’d you put Bit and I in the Barigators Kev?”
> “Well, you two pilot Zoids that are all around good. Barigators are pretty well rounded
> Zoids, so you get the picture.”

Tara: How about Hel Digunners? They're just as good in the water, pack more firepower,
and can actually bite things without the cockpit filling up with water.
Sandra: But Heldy's a canofodder Empire Zoid, while Barrigator is a Republic Zoid that
never appeared on the show, so he has more room to BS about it.
Tara: ...shoulda figured.

> “Right.” said Brad chuckling.
> “And I’m in the Hover Cargo, right Kev?” asked Jamie
> “Yup. We’ll need you to provide us with info as things progress. Amphibious Zoid battles
> are much different than aerial or ground Zoid battles. Info needs to be funneled to the
> pilot quite often.”
> “What about me?” asked Doc.
> “You are going to provide battle advice and whatnot.”

Tara [Kevin]: Ewww! He's so over thirty! Old Man Germs!

> ‘And play with your Zoid models,
> that’s a given.’ thought Kevin. Siege started chuckling, well...sort of.
> “All right, what did Kevin think this time Siege?” asked Leena. Siege just shook his
> head, and Kevin breathed a small sigh of relief.
> “It wasn’t anything bad about me was it?” said Leena, turning to Kevin.
> “No, no, not at all Leena. I couldn’t find anything wrong with you if I tried.” said Kevin,
> a little nervously.

Christina: It’s good to see that there are things that Godboy fears.
Sandra: He may be an overbearing, self-important, egotistical tool fairy, but even he
respects a woman who could crush his skull with her bare hands.
Christina: That's a bit harsh.
Sandra: Yes, but it’s a pleasing image.

> “He’s good.” Naomi whispered to Brad. Leena was one of the few people that could
> actually make Kevin nervous, and she was proud of it.
> “Uh huh. Lets just get going.”
> “Kay Leena.” Siege growled to Kevin as everyone started walking. Kevin turned
> around to see a plant sitting near a door they walked by. The thing was it hadn’t been
> there when they walked by.

Tasch: Hey, the pot plant moved. An' it took that pantlsless guy.
Tara: There's something funny going on there... 
Tasch: You don't think there's a ninja in there, do ya?
Sandra: Oh, now you're being silly.
Tara: Still, there is something going on there. I wanna see what it is...

[She stands up and reaches behind the potplant, grabbing and pulling out Kang]

Kang: Aieee! I have been discovered! [He flails wildly]
Tara: Awww... c'mere Kang! [She hugs him]
Kang: Oh no! Secret lady ninja hug and cooties technique! I must escape!

[He manages to somehow wriggle his way out of Tara's embrace, then backflips
and lands behind the potplant... which then scurries off.]

Christina: ...I see. Well that was stranger then usual.
Sandra: Of course there's a frelling ninja behind the potplant. I should have guessed.
Tara: Aww... poopie. [Returns to seat]

> Kevin and Siege started walking towards it.
> “Hey Kev, we gotta get going!” shouted Leena, from down the hall.
> “All right, comin’.” Kevin turned back to Siege.
> “Come on, lets go.”

Tasch: And the Fuma Team’s infiltration of the Marauder’s headquarters continues unopposed.

> From inside his ‘disguise’ Harry breathed a sigh of relief as Kevin and his organoid
> walked away. He couldn’t let him find out that he was still after Leena. What he
> didn’t realize, is that Kevin suspected something was going on.

Tara: 'Cause Harry is EVIL!
Christina: And there's no way that Our Hero could fail to spot such a thing happening.

> The Marauders had deployed and were in position to launch their Zoids. The Hammer
> Heads launched first, to give the Barigators some support, if needed.

Christina: Well, since the Hammerheads are for fire support, surely it would be better to
deploy the Barigators first. Otherwise, they’re basically escorting their escorts.

> Barigators were
> no were near as heavily armed as a Hammer Head, but they were faster and had a
> thick armor.

Tara: 'course, Barrigaotr's amour is thinner then Hammerhead's, but never mind.

> Kevin had his Barigator modified. It no longer had the four shot missile
> launcher in between its’ hips. It’s two 20mm cannons were still there, but Kevin had
> four eight shot torpedo launchers installed one on each shoulder and hip.

Sandra: And now he's modified his Barigator. Is there anything he can't do?
Christina: Write?
Sandra: Point.

> Bit and Brad had left their Barigators the way they were. 
> “Bit, Brad, stay back and keep watch over the Hammer Heads. I’m gonna do some
> scouting.”

Christina: I'm sure there's some reason why he's just running off into danger all on his
own. I could say something about heroism or self-sacrifice, but I suspect its just so he
can get into a fight and grab all the glory.

> “Copy that.” 
> The Hover Cargo was staying far enough behind to avoid detection from the enemy,
> but close enough to observe what was going on. Everyone watched as Kevins’
> Barigator disappeared down into the murk.

Tasch: [Spooky] And then, down there in the dark, Kevin was all alone. Then all of a sudden...
Tara: What, what?
Tasch: [Spooky] He smelled a fart that wasn’t his!
Tara: Scary!

> Kevin had gone down to the bottom,
> keeping just above it to avoid detection, and moving slow enough not to be registered
> as a Zoid by any motion detectors that might be around. 

Christina: Meantime, the rest were enjoying tea and scones.

> “Siege, you sense anything yet?”
> “No.” Suddenly, the Barigator sensed something coming. As it lifted its’ head up to
> look, Kevin caught a glimpse of a very large group of War Sharks

Tara: Heee... its a whole bunch of big purple Wardicks! ^_^
Christina: Uhhh...
Sandra: You're so mature.
Vic: Heee... Wardick. Snerk.
Sandra: Never mind.

> heading in the
> direction he had come. He radioed back to warn the rest of the team, but the War
> Sharks had already gotten there. Kevin turned the Barigator around, going top speed,
> but keeping low to the bottom to stage a surprise attack.

> “How many War Sharks are there Jamie?” shouted Bit.
> “At least 25.”
> “Not good.” Everyone had preped in the simulators for underwater combat, but it was
> still harder than everyone had expected. Brad had just tossed a War Shark out of the
> Barigators’ mouth

Sandra: ...never mind that the War Shark is too big for the Barragaotr to get its mouth
around.
Tara: And the pilot began gasping for breath and chocking on water, 'cause Barigator's
cockpit is in its mouth!
Sandra: Well a 'real' Barrigator has a cockpit that's protected form that sort of thing
happening. It’s still stupidly vulnerable when the mouth's open though.

> when three more came and started harassing him. Something shot
> up from the bottom, catching one of the War Sharks and carrying it along towards the
> surface. 

> Kevin breached his Barigator, War Shark in its’ mouth,

Tara: There goes our Kevin with some guys' Wardick in his mouth. It takes all kinds.
Sandra: You're disgusting.
Tara: I try ^_^.

>  and smashed the thing against
> the surface. The War Shark broke in half, and Kevin went back down for his next victim. 

Sandra: Yes, he smashed it against *the water!*

[They all gasp]

> The number of War Sharks was slowing falling, but there were still quite a few left.
> Naomi was being chased when a torpedo came from above and destroyed it. Kevins’
> Barigator swam up next to Naomi. 
> “Miss me?”

Tasch [Naomi]: Yeah, but I'll give it another shot.
Sandra: Unusually cruel for you, but I'll pay it. And you do a great Naomi voice.

> “Yes and no.”
> “Thanks a lot.”
> Kevin grabbed on to a near by War Shark and shook it like a rag doll. Parts of the Zoid
> started falling off, and Kevin let it go. It sank to the bottom and Kevin got an idea. He,
> Brad, and Bit went down so they could come up and surprise the War Sharks. Kevin let
> lose all of his remaining torpedoes and destroyed many of the remaining War Sharks.
> Leena, Naomi, and Leon had pretty much finished them off, leaving three for Bit, Brad,
> and Kevin. Bit and Brad tore the War Sharks they were fighting apart, while Kevin bit
> the one he was fighting in half. When they were done, they went back into the Hover
> Cargo to reload.

Tara: And so ends another "exciting" battle outline. Woo hoo.
Christina: You mean battle.
Tara: I *know* what I mean.

> “That was actually kind of fun!” said Leena, entering the tactics room of the Hover
> Cargo.
> “Speak for yourself.” said Bit as he sat in a chair, exhausted.

Christina: Didn’t this mission have an actual objective?
Sandra: Kevin gets to write a kewl underwater battle.
Christina: Silly me.

> “It wasn’t that bad, right Siege?”
> Siege roared in agreement with Kevin.

Sandra [Kevin]: What's that, Siege? Little Timmy's fallen down the well and broken
his leg?
Tasch: Aw, Kommisar Rex's better.
Tara: I dunno... could Kommisar Rex make a Zoid stronger and faster?
Tasch: Kommisar Rex can do anythin'.

> “Alright guys, they know we’re here, so we’re gonna have to hit the base soon. The
> Barigators will take out any land based Zoids that pose a problem, and the Hammer
> Heads will deal with most of the underwater enemies.”
> “Okay.”
> “Doc, are you prepping my Gator?”
> “It’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
> “Good. Once it’s ready, we attack.”

> When they launched, they saw what was up with Kevins’ Gator.

Tasch: Yay, Gator! That thing’s kinda cute and purpley.
Christina: I think he's just using it as a colloquial form of "Barigator."
Tasch: Well that's kinda silly. He should jus' call it "Barry" instead.

>  Kevin had put on a
> double barreled beam cannon, like the one that Brad used on his Command Wolf,
> before it was destroyed.

Sandra: Should I be repulsed that MunkyBoy is godmodding his Zoid some more,
or be amazed that its actually a viable canon modification?
Christina: I'm going for amazement at this point.

> When they reached the base, Kevin unloaded all his
> torpedoes on the enemy Zoids that had been deployed and jettisoned the torp
> pods when they were empty. After that, Kevin, Bit, and Brad got their Barigators on
> land and started attacking the floating base. The three of them had to deal with
> mostly Heldigunners.

Tara: Hel Digunners, eh? I bet they'll become cannonfodder. >_> Nevermind Heldies
pwn Barigators.
Tasch: Well, it happened to 'em all the time in the show.
Christina: I think we can assume anything that Big Kev faces can be considered Cannon
Fodder.
Sandra [Big Kev]: I'm excited!

> They were doing pretty good, and Kevins beam cannon was coming in very handy.

Sandra: Wow, if its so good, shouldn’t they have put it on the OTHER Barigators?

> Under water, everyone was faring well too. Things went even
> better when Bit and Brad came back under. Kevin was still topside, taking out the
> last few problems. Leena had radioed him and told him that they were done there.
> Kevin told her he’d be there in a minute. When Kevin turned back to what he was
> doing, Zephyr landed in front of him.

Tara: Barrigaor versus Cheeseobreaker? Let's see him worm his way out of this one!
Sandra: Of course, Zephyr's timing is impeccable. Why doesn’t he ever show up
BEFORE the Tool World Order here has done their work?
Christina: Because... that'd stop Kevin from looking good?
Tasch: Sure as heck it’s the only reason I can think of.

> “Not so hot now huh?”
> “This isn’t the time or the place Zephyr.” said Kevin, looking around at the crumbling
> base.

Tara [Zephyr]: It’s you! It’s always about you, isn't it?

> “Why do you say that?” responded Zephyr. As soon as he finished his sentence, a
> piece of the base next to Kevin broke away. Kevin took the opportunity to dive into
> the hole it formed, effectively escaping from Zephyr.

Sandra: Well that achieved a lot.
Christina [Zephyr]: Damn it! Come back here when I'm taunting you!

> “Guys, get outta here!” said Kevin while he was diving.
> “Why?” asked Bit.
> “Zephyr’s topside, That’s why!”
> “Okay, I think it’s time to leave!” 

Tasch: Okay then. Se y'al later [She stands]
Sandra: Sit down. We're not done yet.
Tasch: Awww...

> The Marauders managed to get away without having to deal with Zephyr. They were
> all thankful for that.

Sandra: Never mind that he could have jetted after tem, or tried vaping them in the
water with the CPG...
Tasch: He just ain't that bright.
Sandra: You said it.

> They were back at the base for debriefing. When they were
> done, Kevin and Leena went to get something to eat. As they were walking down the
> hall, Siege stopped suddenly, turned around, and let out an angry roar.
> “What’s up Siege?”

[Tasch gestures]
Sandra: Uh... film title?
Christina: Three words?
[Tasch gestures some more]
Tara: No, I got it... it’s a place name, right?
[She shakes her head]
Sandra: Um... no... let’s think.
Christina: It’s... proper noun? Is one of the words a proper noun?

> “Someone’s following us.” Siege growled.
> “What’d he say?”
> “He said someone’s followin’ us Leena.” said Kevin, drawing his gun.

Christina: Oh yes. The subplot. I forgot about that. I tried.
Tara: The subwhat?
Tasch: Yeah, you’d need one for it to go under.

> “I understood the some part, but not the rest.”

Sandra: I understand the words, but the meaning? Something about a bad thing, an evil
thing... About the end of the world.

> “You’re developing a telepathic link with Siege? Well, we must be really close for Siege
> to do something like that.”
> “I think it’s involuntary Kev.”

Sandra: See my earlier comments about Silver Age origin stories.

> “Whatever, we’ll talk about it later.” Siege walked down the hallway, found someone
> hiding around a corner, grabbed him in his teeth, and threw him against the opposite
> wall.

Kang: Curses! I have been discovered! I flee! NINJA VANISH! [The potplant scurries
away]

> “Harry?”
> “Yeah, that’d be me.”
> “Why are you following us?”
> “So I could keep an eye on Leena?” Harry said nervously.
> “God, don’t tell me your ass is still obsessing over Leena.”

Tara: ...Wha?... Why the hell would Harry's ass be obsessing over her!? When do asses
ever obsess over things? Or is that supposed to sound tough, or something? If so, it's a
rather embarrassing choice of words, as it sounds pretty lame. xp

> “That kinda what it is.” said Harry quietly. Leenas’ headdress went up in a V shape.
> “You still LIKE ME???” she said, anger creeping into her voice.
> “Well, see, the thing is, I’m happy that your happy Leena, but-”
> “But WHAT?”
> “But I’m not happy seeing you with anyone but me.” Leenas’ anger started to build.

Christina: Shouldn't Leena be happy about this? I mean, it’s a chance to play Harry
off against Kevin so both of them kiss up to her, tell her how wonderful she is and,
more to the point, give her all the things that she wants?
Sandra: Well sure... if she was IC.

> “I think we should leave, NOW.” Kevin whispered to Siege. He quietly growled his
> agreement. As they ran from Leena and Harry, multiple crashes, smashes, and other
> loud noises started following them.
> “Not good...” Kevin muttered to himself. Suddenly, a lead pipe flew by Kevin and Siege.

Tasch: Try harder next time!
Christina: That was unusually cruel for you.
Tasch: Lead pipes should never be wasted.

> They stopped so suddenly, that Harry ran into them.
> “I’ve got you now!” shouted Leena coming up the hall. Harry had gotten up in time to
> see a computer keyboard flying at him. He ducked out of the way, but being that Kevin
> and Siege were still standing there in amazement, Kevin got nailed in the back of the
> head.

[They all cheer]

>  Kevin was okay, but he was having a hard time getting back up. When he finally
> did, he turned and looked at Leena and Harry.

Tara: Comedity happens.

> “Sorry honey, I didn’t mean to hit you.” said Leena, nervously. 

Sandra: It’s kinda telling that the only time that Das Wundersuck has been hurt thus
far is when his girlfriend bonks him with a keyboard.
Tara: I don't think comedic violence counts either.
Sandra: awww... Tool.

> “It’s not your fault that you hit me, or this whthing got started. It’s Harrys’ fault.” said
> Kevin, looking at Harry. And if looks could kill, Harry would have died 10 times over.

Tara: Cause everyone hates Harry and wants him to die. 9_9
Christina: Has this fic had a single original thought so far?
Sandra: I'm sure the Spiner crapping an Organoid was original... but only because I
can't imagine that level of contrivance occurring twice.

> Kevin charged Harry as he started running down the hall. Leena and Siege watched
> Kevin chase Harry down the hall.
> “Harry’s hopeless.” grumbled Siege.
> “I agree.” said Leena, understanding what he said.



> 8 - Things are Normal

Christina: For certain limited values of "normal".
Tasch: Well, the sky's been pretty clear an' blue so far, so that's not normal.

> Disclaimer:look at the one on every other zoids fic

Sandra: Don't look at the ones in RCZF, otherwise the Iguans will get you.

> It was the day after Kevin had chased Harry around the base. Kevin didn’t know how,
> but Harry had managed to lose Kevin.

Tasch: He threw Kevin off by loosing him in a Revolving door.

> Kevin was currently working on the Zoids, and
> had pretty much forgotten about Harry. He figured he’d never change. Harry then
> ran trough the hanger screaming in terror.

> ***

> Before hand...

> Leena, Naomi, and the Tasker sisters were in a lounge talking. Siege was curled up
> in the rooms largest couch. Naomi, Chris, and Kelly were teasing Leena about Harry
> and Kevin.

Tasch [Chris]: What in the heck are we doin' here anyway?
Sandra [Kelly]: Getting non-speaking cameos, apparently.

> Plus about how Siege had developed quite a liking to her, being that when Kevin
> didn’t need his help, he hung around Leena.

Tara: This fic uses the "Godzilla" rule of dialogue; every scene that does not involve
Kevin will be about Kevin.

> During the middle of their conversation
> Harry walked in. Siege took notice and stuck his tail out to trip Harry. He fell right
> over it. Harry had reached up to grab on to something to help him up, and he grabbed
> onto Leenas’ thigh, not realizing it. She immediately flipped out and began chasing
> Harry. The remaining three looked over at Siege, knowing full well it was his fault.
> He had a liking to getting Harry into a hell of a lot of trouble.

Sandra: That's it. The Furry twerp dies.
Tara: You like Harry?
Sandra: Not particularly. But I do dislike character bashing. And given that Siege’s entire
character is that he doesn't like Harry, that's enough for me.

> ***

> Kevin watched in amusement as Leena chased Harry around the hanger. Kevin heard
> a roar from below, and looked down from the Shadow Fox. Siege was below. Kevin
> dropped off the Fox and walked up to Siege.
> “Don’t you ever give Harry a break Siege?”
> “Nope.” he responded happily. 
> “What’d you do this time?”
> “I tripped him, and he grabbed onto Leenas’ thigh whiling it was her thigh.” Kevin
> shook his head in 

> disbelief

Christina: So... in other words, Siege is punishing Harry for something that occurred due
to his own actions. Very heroic ideal there.

> and jogged over to where Leena had cornered Harry.
> “Okay Leena, I think that’s enough.” he said grabbing onto her raised fist.
> “But-he-”
> “I know, Siege told me. It’s his fault Harry tripped you know.”
> “What?!?” shouted Leena turning towards Siege. 
> “WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!!!” she said, charging Siege.

Sandra: Go Leena! Pulverize that little twerp!

> “Ahh!!! Wait-no, Kevin-HELP!!!” Siege said, running away from Leena.
> “You’re on your own.” called Kevin after him. Kevin extended his hand to Harry.
> “Here, lemmie help you up.”
> “Uh, thanks. I thought you were still angry at me.”
> “Nah, I figured that you’ll never change. So as long as you don’t hit on Leena, I spare
> your life. And keep an eye on Siege, he’ll probably try to pull something on you again.”
> “Right, Thanks.”

Christina: So... if Siege provokes Harry again, then Harry's going to be killed for it. Well
that seems fair.

> They were both about to head to a lounge when they heard a large crash. Leena
> had managed to tackle Siege and pin him. Kevin decided it was time to end this little
> fiasco. He walked over to the pair and plucked Leena off Siege.

All: Boo!
Sandra: Go on! We want to see Grievous Organoid Harm!
Tasch: Ah, he'd jus' get his arms chopped off by Obi-Wan if he tried.

> “Alright Leena, we have more important things to do other than fight amongst ourselves.”
> “Fine.” said Leena, walking off.
> “Siege, I’d suggest keeping your distance from Leena for a while okay?”
> “Good idea.”

Tasch: So... in other words, he's makin' Harry do whatever he wants.
Christina: They're living in a universe without restraining orders.
Sandra: Or, for that matter, any semblance of military structure or order.

> About three weeks later, Kevin, Leena, and Siege were driving back to the base from
> a near by town. Kevin had needed to some new parts ordered for the Gun Snipers
> and the Spiner and Leena wanted to do a little shopping while in town. Siege had
> fallen asleep in the back of Kevins’ Hummer and Leena was sitting next to him,
> watching the scenery. Not that there was much to watch. Kevins’ Hummer was
> customized, in a sense.

Sandra: ...and he modified his Humvee too. Gods, does this tool use anything stock?
Tara: He over-clocked his laptop.
Chritstina: He wears non-regulation pants with his uniform.
Tasch: An' he dyed the furry dice in the Spiner's cockpit.

> He had worked it so you could drive with or without the
> ceiling of the passenger compartment. The ceiling was off, so they could enjoy the
> nice weather. Kevin had one of his favorite songs on, Lawyers, Guns, and Money
> by Warren Zevon.

Sandra: Godboy Crime #70: Ramming your musical tastes down our throats.

> It hit a specific part in the song, and Kevin realized they were
> in the same boat. The Marauders were caught between a rock and a hard place.
> They hadn’t been able to complete their last few missions because Zephyr and
> Isaac had shown up just as they were finishing up and running low on ammo,
> so they’d need to abort. Kevins’ superiors

Tara: Wha-wha-WHAAAAAT!? Godboy has superiors? They must be superiors in name only
I guess. xp
Christina: Someone has to hand him arbitrary orders that he defies for the good if the unit,
while shamelessly exploiting him.
Sandra: Do I detect some bitterness?
Christina: Never.

> were not enjoying this at all. Kevin
> had an idea though, and it didn’t have anything to do with the parts Kevin had
> ordered. When they got back to the base, Jamie was there waiting for them.
> Apparently, they had been assigned a new mission. Kevin decided it was time
> to try his idea.

Sandra: Additional narration by Excel of ACROSS.
Tasch: An' remember, the paragraph is your friend!

> As they were heading to their destination, Kevin spelled out his idea for everyone.
> Leena and Naomi were going to wait till Zephyr and Isaac showed up to deploy.

Christina: How do they know that those two are gonna show up?
Tasch: Because they show up wherever the Marauders go.
Christina: So how do Isaac and Kevin know where the Marauders will be?
Tasch: 'cause they've gotta be there.
Christina: There are flews in your logic... but if I think about them, my head hurts.

> Jamie would fly the Raynos, being that it used energy weapons. Leon and Kevin
> would be using their Blade Ligers, minus the attack booster units. They were
> putting to much strain on the Zoids. Bit would deploy in the Zero Panzer. And
> Brad didn’t have to change anything. 

Sandra: ...not even his pants.

> Things were going as planned. Zephyr and Isaac showed up as expected, Leena and
> Naomi deployed, and Kevin called for Siege to merge with his Liger. Zephyr and
> Isaac were having a very hard time doing anything being that they were pinned by
> constant fire from Leena and Bit. Isaac and Zephyr ended up running, being that
> opponents were so well prepared. 

Tara: ...They took off the attack boosters? Despite facing down a Geno Breaker?
WHYYYY!!? The Blade Liger NEEDS those if it's gonna take on a Breaker! >_<
Christina: For 'ultimate rivals', Isaac and Zephyr are pretty damned lame.
Sandra: It’s kinda sad when your "rivalry" consists of telling him to bend over and take
his pants off.

> When they got back to base, Kevins’ superiors were very pleased with how he
> handled the Marauders situation. The parts Kevin ordered had come too. So, after
> he rested for a while, he and Leena set to work. Kevin had ordered a shield for
> the Spiner,

Tara: Because the omnipotent Ion Field JUST AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH for him.

> and new leg servos for the Gun Snipers. It only took Kevin and Leena
> a few minutes to install the shield,

Tara: ...allocating internal space to it, connecting it to the power supply,
testing to see if it works properly, connecting it to the controls, configuring its
operations into the Dark Spiner's combat system and making sure that the
command system recoingises it in a few minutes. I'm impressed.
Sandra: Energy Shields are Plug and Play compatible.

> and they moved on the servo units. Kevin
> attached some cables to Naomis’ Gun Sniper, and Leena used a crane to move
> the legs away from the body. There was a group of mechanics there too, so the
> work wasn’t that hard. Kevin helped remove the old hip and knee servos from
> each leg and install the new ones. They did the same for Leenas’ Gun Sniper.
> Kevin also had the gun barrels on all the Zoids checked to make sure nothing
> was wrong with them. After Kevin thought about it, he realized that things had
> gone pretty smoothly this month. He didn’t like the feeling at all.

Tara: I might've actually found that scene vaguely interesting, if there had been a bit more
detail... then again, I hate to see what this person *thinks* he knows about Zoid
mechanics...
Sandra [Kevin, stupid]: Hit it with a hammer! Works every time!


> 9 - Imperial Assault

Vic: Like Redshirts to the slaughter.
Sandra: I'd tell you to get out, but seeing as I know any any " Imperial assault" will
be a poorly thought-out slaughter at the hands of Uncle Kev, It'll accept your
statement.
Vic: I'm cute, loveable and always right.

> Disclaimer:still the same, at least last time I checked


> Bit and Kevin were walking through the corridors of the base, heading to the
> hanger. Bit had decided to ask Kevin about his theories about the Liger’s and
> the Fury’s organoid system.

Tara [Kevin]: Well, the Organoid Systems were made by a company called Soylent
Green, right? And Soylent Green owns majority shares in all the privately-run prisons,
right? And despite the high crime rate, the prisons never are over-crowded, right?
Tasch [Bit]: I'm not follow' ya.
Tara [Kevin]: Don't you see? Organoid Systems are made from people!
Tasch [Bit]: Now yer being silly.

> “So you think that the organoids bonded with the Zoids permanently during the Zoids
> evolution?”
> “Well either that, or the new theory I came up with.”
> “What’s your new theory?”

Christina: This is going to be Gunsniper on the Grassy Knoll, right?

> “The Liger and Fury were built with integrated organoids.”

Tara: Well, that would fit to the battle story version of the Organoid System... except
that the Berserk Fury and Liger Zero are wild Zoids and thus don't have organoid
systems... and so, mister idjit authour, you are once again COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY
FERKING WRONG!

> “Go on.”
> “Well, I watched the footage taken of your fights with the Berserk Fuhrer and it seemed
> that the Liger and Fuhrer seemed to remember each others moves from somewhere,
> even though it didn’t seemed like they’d ever fought before.”
> “Fuhrer? Don’t you mean Fury?”
> “Berserk Fuhrer is it’s real name, Berserk Fury is what it’s normally called because it
> rolls off the tongue easier.”

Sandra: And it’s a zillion or so times less offensive.
Tasch: In my continuity, when Guylos retook the Dark Continent from Neo-Zenebas, they
captured a production facility fer the BF. So they started building 'em, but they call 'em
Berserk Furies. Neo-Zenebas also still build 'em, but they call 'em Berserk Fuhrers.
Christina: Fascinating... but what's your point?
Tasch: I'm jus' sayin' that's all.

> “Oh, right. So you’re saying that the Fury and Liger have fought before in the past?”
> “It’s possible, and I wouldn’t doubt it. Siege said he talked to the organoid system
> on the Liger and it told him that it never evolved from anything, at least that it can
> remember. Apparently, the Liger Zero is an extremely old Zoid.”
> “How old?”

Sandra: It remembers when Shatner was slim and had his own hair.

> “That, I don’t know. And I wish I did. My guess is it was it came out around the end
> of the last republic-imperial war.” Bit whistled in amazement.
> “That’s a long time ago. That means Liger is at least a hundred years old.”

Sandra: More like a thousand by most counts.
Tasch: I heard something like fourty-five hundred on some places. That is old.

> “I know.”
> “Oh Kevin, one more thing.”
> “Yeah, what’s up?”
> “Why’d you dump the Storm Sworders?”

Christina [Kevin]: It wasn't working out for us.

> “They weren’t as helpful as Jamie and I expected. Unless you haven’t noticed, Jamie
> does a lot better in the Raynos.”

Sandra: Well of course he didn't do as well. You bitchsmacked him around like a small
child, remember?

> “Good point.”

> The two men entered the hanger and found pilots jumping into their Zoids and
> technicians and mechanics making the final preparations to launch the Zoids. Kevin
> found the rest of the team and found out what was going on. Apparently, a large
> imperial force was advancing on the base.

Christina [Kevin]: Why didn't anyone tell me about this?
Tara: It was going to be a surprise for your birthday.
Christina [Kevin]: Aww... you shouldn't have.

> The Marauders were just waiting for
> Kevin and Bit so they could mobilize.

Sandra: You'd think that if it was so important, they'd have sounded an alarm or
something.

> “So, the empire has made their move.”
> “Looks that way.” said Leon. Kevin pulled the small communicator he carried off his
> belt.
> “Doc, get the Hover Cargo ready to deploy.”
> “Already on it Kevin.”
> “Why weren’t the alarms sounded? I would have been here a lot faster.” fumed
> Kevin, as he turned off the communicator.
> “They didn’t want to let them know we know they’re there.” said Naomi.

Sandra: Now there's a good example of left-handed exposition for ya. If this imperial
force is as large a claimed, then they'd know that the guys in the base would see
them coming. Hell, any tool watching would be able to observe their preparations,
alarm or not. So unless there's someone specifically listening out for alarms and not,
say, to the Zoid hanger or defense control or command center, then there's no way
that not sounding the alarms will do anything.
Christina: Point. So what's left-handed exposition?
Sandra: An attempt to cover a plot hole that only creates a bigger plot hole.

> “Whatever. Marauders, Move Out!”

> The Marauders joined the front lines off the Zoids defense force that had been set up.
> Two Leomaster class Shield Ligers, Godos, Dibison, Guysack, and so on. A few imperial
> type Zoids here and there, but not many. Kevin open a channel to the base.
> “Are the Snipe Masters and Gun Snipers in position?”
> “Yes sir, they’re just waiting for the enemy to come into range.”
> “Good. Inform me when they spot the enemy and tell them to fire on my command.”
> “Yes Sir!” The comm operator broke the channel. Kevin only had to wait a few minutes
> before he was notified. The images were brought up on his displays.
> “That’s a lot of Zoids. They’re aren’t messing around.” Kevin said to himself,
> impressed with the imperial strike force.

Sandra [Kevin]: It might take me whole minutes to beat them all.

> There was every kind of imperial Zoid imaginable.

Tasch: Even Gul Tiger?
Sandra: Now you're being silly.
Tasch: But I like Gul Tiger!
Tara: Yum... cheesy kitty...

> As he was looking over the Zoids, he found to familiar unfriendly faces. He opened a
> comm channel to everyone present.
> “Look alive everyone, the Geno Breaker and Liger Zero X are here.”

Sandra: Look out! It’s the Job Squad!
Christina: I’m scared. Really.

> He waited just
> another few minutes before giving the order to fire. He watched Zoids fall, but there
> seemed to be no end to the imperial Zoids.

Christina: Do we have any counter-fire? Any sort of response? Anything?

> “Snipers, cease fire. All units, advance.” Kevin didn’t hold the highest rank at the base,
> but he had been given informal command of the Zoids deployed. The republic defense
> force started moving towards the imperial strike force. It wasn’t long before the two
> sides met each other in combat.

Tara: Wake me up when it's over.
Tasch: ...zzz.... uh? What was that?

> The Marauders were tearing through the enemy
> Zoids when Bit and Kevin faced Isaac and Zephyr. When the four started each other
> down, it seemed like everyone stopped to watch the monumental battle that was
> about to start. Kevin and Bit moved first. They both charged their rivals and a furious
 
Tara: -spanking-

> battle began. While Kevin engaged Zephyr, Bit battled Isaac. Bit was using the
> Schneider armor and Isaac was using the Imperial armor. They ended up almost
> evenly matched.

Sandra: Of course, I'd have picked the Panzer Armour if I knew I was going up against
a large number of Zoids. For a large scale battle, Schneider’s easily the worst armour;
its got no tactical flexibility and locks you into a single attack style.
Rose: Schneider's the worst to use against an X anyway. I'd use a Panzer and
blow that sucker away. If I had one.
Tara: But UMG the Schneider and the X both have blades! And swordfights are
KEWLZIES!
Rose: You do know that X’s blades can’t be used as Melee Weapons, right?
Tara: I do, but does he?

> Isaac had managed to get the upper hand after a few minutes.
> Leena had come over too help when Isaac turned towards her and a small
> shockwave emitted from the Liger Zero X. When it hit the Gun Sniper, the Gun
> Sniper shut down. 
> “What happened?” asked Bit.
> “It’s an EMP!” said Doc.
> “In English please?” replied Bit.
> “An Electromagnetic Pulse. It’ll shut down anything it touches.”

Tara: ...Including the source of the EMP. 'Course, Liger Zero X doesn't *have* an EMP, as
putting one on a Zoid would be a very BAD idea.
Christina: Actually, there are a few Zoids that have EMP weapons; their bodies and
systems are specifically hardened to prevent them from harming themselves with it. The
ones that do are the Dimetrodon and, ironically enough, the Dark Spiner.

> “That’s lovely.”
> “Isn’t it?” said Isaac. He deployed his Liger’s blades and charged the disabled Gun
> Sniper. The Zoid was cut in half at the chest. Everyone watched the top of the Gun
> Sniper fall to the ground. ‘I hope to god she’s okay.’ thought Kevin.
> “Siege, get her out of there and get her back to the Hover Cargo.”

Sandra: Wow. Ever since she hitched up with Big Kev, Leena gets even more easily
disposed of.
Tasch: But it allows him to show his depth of emotion an' how much he cares for
her.
Sandra: You're kidding me, right? All his lines have been delivered with all the
emotional weight of a feather.
Tasch: See? It shows his range of emotion!

> Siege’s face
> appeared on one of the displays and he gave a growl of acknowledgement. Siege
> ejected from the Spiner and went over to the Gun Sniper. Kevin watched as Siege
> took Leena back to the Hover cargo.
> “Going to fight me without your organoid Kevin?”
> “I kicked your ass before without my organoid Zephyr, so don’t get your hopes up.”

Tara: Well, strictly speaking you had the organoid inside your Zoid all along, so it
doesn't count.
Sandra: So... every time Kev's beaten Zephyr, he's had an advantage anyway.
Vic: He's Organoid Assisted. Snerk.

> “We’ll see who comes out on top this time.”

> It had been about a half an hour and numbers on each side were starting to thin, but
> the republic forces had the upper hand. Something showed up on Kevin’s radar, and
> when he looked in the direction of the blip, a huge energy beam went over the group
> of Zoids. The republic forces watched as it hit the base and vaporized it. Kevin looked
> in the direction the beam came from and zoomed in on the area. He was shocked at
> what he saw.
> “What could have that kind of power?” said Jamie, in a shaky voice.

Sandra: Deathsaurer or Deathstinger.
Christina: It will be the Deathstinger. The setup was obvious.
Sandra: Probably. But I can hope.

> “I know what.” said Kevin, in an equally shaky voice. Now everyone was getting
> nervous. It wasn’t easy to rattle Kevin, and being that he was rattled, whatever it
> was couldn’t be good.

Christina: You know everything, don't you?
Sandra [Holds up flash card]: What's this?
Christina [Kevin]: Frost-Free Fridge. [ding]
Sandra [Holds up flash card]: And this?
Christina [Kevin]: Previously undiscovered species of lemur. [ding]
Sandra [Holds up flash card]: And this?
Christina [Kevin]: Screaming mad iguana. [ding]
Sandra [Holds up flash card]: And this?
Christina [Kevin]: Demi Moore. [ding]
Sandra: Damn, he does know everything.
Tara: Congratulations! You win... a cigarette butt! [Flicks one]

> “What?” asked a soldier from somewhere in the mass of Zoids. 
> “Look.” Kevin sent the image to every republic Zoid in the area. The screen showed a
> blue, black, and red scorpion type Zoid.
> “Now who shouldn’t be getting their hopes up?” asked Zephyr, mockingly.
> “What is it?” asked Leon.
> “It’s a Death Stinger.” replied Kevin.

Tara: Oh my god. I did not see that coming. Despite seeing it in that hangar about ten
chapters ago. A Death Stinger? In a post NC0 d00mfic? Never woulda expected that.

> “I can’t be...” said Brad.
> “But it is!” said Zephyr, a large smile plastered on his face.
> “All units, full retreat! I’ll distract the Death Stinger long enough for everyone to
> escape.”
> “But how?” asked Bit.
> “I’ll manage. Now get outta here!”
> “Roger that.” 

> The republic Zoids started their retreat. Kevin turned the Spiner to face the
> approaching Death Stinger. He leaned the Spiner forward and got ready to fire his
> charged particle gun.

Tara: He squeezed the trigger, when suddenly, he realised that the Spiner had no CPC!
Before he could react, the Dark Spiner was vapourised by the Death Stinger's CPC, and
all looked bad until Gojulas Giga came along and ate it. The end!

> When he fired, multiple imperial Zoids were vaporized. When
> the beam hit the Death Stinger, it caused a huge explosion.
> “Guess the Death Stinger isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” muttered Kevin under his
> breath.
> As the smoke cleared, Kevin saw something that didn’t surprise him.

Tasch: Well that don't make no sense at all. One line he's all like "I beat it", then the
next he's like "I knew I wouldn't beat it." Its like he knew he would and wouldn't
Christina: I would comment, but instead I'm genuinely amazed that there's something
that he didn't instantly beat.

> The Death Stinger
> walked out, with no damage whatsoever. ‘Must be the shield it’s supposed to have.’
> “Enjoy this victory while you can Zephyr, the next battle will be the republic’s.”
> “Whatever you say Kevin.” Kevin engaged the Spiner’s engines and jetted off.
> “Should we go after him sir?”
> “No, leave him alone. Things would be to easy without him around.”

Christina: There you have it, folks. The bad guys are letting Kevin win. All the proof
you'll ever need summarized in a single sentence.


> 10 - Nightmare’s Arrival

> Disclaimer:If you've every read a fan fic before, you know what this is for

Tara: I've read many fanfics in my life. Some of 'em good, most of 'em bad, but few as bad
as this.

> A lone Zoid was moving swiftly across the desert. At a distance, most people would’ve
> thought it was a Lightning Saix. In reality, it was the now infamous Dark Spiner.

Sandra: "Most people" must need their eyes checked.
Tara: How does one mistake a dinosaur for a cheetah? I can tell, even with my glasses
off...

>  A
> large dust cloud hung behind the Spiner for at least a mile. The Zoid was moving
> along on it’s repulsor engines, being that it’s pilot had somewhere he wanted to
> get to in a hurry.

Sandra: The last men’s room for the next hundred klicks.

> In the cockpit...
> Kevin was thinking about his destination and what he was going to do once he
> got there.

Tasch [Kevin]: I'm gonna go on the teacup ride, yeah!

> He was heading for a dealer of rare parts and rare Zoids. This man was
> a godsend when it came to keeping the Zoids on the Blitz team in working order.
> All but one Zoid on the team had been extremely rare,

Christina: They had an Iron Kong Mk II Limited, a Gilvader, a Lidier, a Megatropos
and a Technozids Dragonfly.

> so it was a good thing that
> this man was in this business. The reason he was going was because Leena
> wanted a new Zoid, preferably a Gun Sniper. Kevin remembered seeing an odd
> looking Gun Sniper at the shop last time he was there.

Christina: So how would you describe that Gunsniper?
Tasch: It was... funny lookin'.
Christina: Just... funny looking?
Tasch: Yeah, funny lookin'.
Christina: Oookay then.

> He remembered the owner
> telling him a little about it. He had said that this Zoid and been juggled around
> from pilot to pilot for a long time before

Sandra: -Being traded to the Cubs.

> he came into possession of it. The reason
> that no one kept it for a long time was because it never liked anyone who
> stepped into the cockpit. “Was a lot like the Liger Zero in that sense.” he had
> said to Kevin. This particular fact had piqued his interest. He was heading there
> to look at this very Gun Sniper. 

Tara: This is going to be either the Gunsiper BOAS or the Gunsniper nightmare, isn't
it?
Tasch: What the hey?
Tara: Another pair of Fanon Zoids of ludicrous saturation. They'd be par for the course
for this fic.

> Kevin lost his train of thought when Siege roared to him from on top of the Spiner.
> “We’ll be there soon, don’t worry.” Kevin replied. Siege grumbled. They had already
> been out for over an hour and Siege had gotten extremely bored.

Tasch: So he'd spent the last hour highway surfin'... Only to wipe out on a sign.

> If Kevin was right
> about the Zoid he was going to see, Siege wouldn’t be bored on the return trip. 

> Kevin and Siege walked into the shop and saw the owner at the desk.
> “Hey Gramps, how’s it been?” Kevin said, greeting him warmly. The man had become
> like family to Kevin.

Sandra: Which is why he'll never get a name.

> “Kevin? It’s been almost a month, where’ve you been?” he said, walking over to Kevin
> and clapping him on the shoulder.
> “Fighting this god damned war, that’s where I’ve been.”

Sandra: If he gets all Alan Alda on us, I'm going for my guns.
Tara: ...I read that as Alan/Aldo. Ow, my brain. >_<

> “Just like you, one to always do the right thing.”
> “Almost always Gramps.”
> “Right. So Siege, how’ve you been? Kevin still treating you well?” Siege let out a series
> of grunts and growls that Kevin translated.
> “Good to here Siege. So what can I do for you Kev?”
> “I want to take a look at that Gun Sniper you’ve got in back.”

Sandra [Gramps]: No can do. The army requisitioned it, calling it "vital war material"
or something to that effect.
Tasch [Kevin]: Awww... fudnuts. So y'all got any Geno Maxis?
Sandra [Gramps]: They took that too.
Tasch [Kevin]: How about Cerberus Wolves?
Sandra [Gramps]: Just sold the last one.
Tasch [Kevin]: What about a Glow Fox?
Sandra [Gramps]: Nope, just sold that to a kid called Isaac.
Tasch [Kevin]: In that case, gramps, what do you have?
Sandra [Gramps]: All I got is this box of a dozen crazed starving Leoblazes.
Tasch [Kevin]: Well, I'll take that.

> “Sure thing. Planning on buying it this time?”
> “There’s a good chance I will be. And I’ll pay you extra just for having it here when I
> needed it.”
> “No need to be so modest. Come on you two, follow me.” 

> Kevin and Siege followed the old man to the back where the Gun Sniper was berthed.
> When the lights came on, Kevin laid his eyes on the dark blue and silver Gun Sniper.
> “So Gramps, what was this things name again?”
> “From what I remember, it’s called the Gun Sniper Nightmare.”

Tara: I was right! Go me! ^____^ [Does the Jumping Shie]
Christina: Can I ask what weapons or equipment this thing has? Can I get a
description or some sort of estimation of what it's using? Or are we just going to go
with vague indications?

> “Gun Sniper Nightmare huh? Impressive machine.” Kevin said, circling it. Siege walked
> up to it, and the Nightmare activated. It caused Kevin and Gramps to jump back in
> surprise. Nightmare looked down at Siege and let out what seemed to be a joyous
> roar.

Tara: He then humped one of its legs.

> “Siege?” Kevin asked questioningly. Instead of answering, Siege started talking to
> the Nightmare. As the two conversed, Kevin picked up a little of what the Nightmare
> was saying here and there.

Sandra: Sad thing is, the organoid’s a better conversationalist.
Christina: Sad thing is, this is some of the best dialogue so far.

> “Siege?” Kevin asked again. Siege turned to Kevin and let out an excited roar. Kevin
> looked up at Nightmare.
> “What? What is it?” asked Gramps.
> “Are you?” said Kevin to Nightmare. It shook it’s head yes.
> “Is it what?”
> “Gramps, the Gun Sniper Nightmare is an Ultimate X.”

Tara: Of course, "Leena gets an Ultimate X" is a tradition of NC0 badfics... but usually
its so she and Bit can have more in common and be WUN TRU LUVs.
Sandra: But Munkyboy also has an Ultimate X.
Tara: Of course [Rolls eyes, flicks cigarette butt at screen].

> “WHAT!?!?”
> “It told Siege that it was and it just shook it’s head yes when I asked it if it was.”
> “This is gonna cost you then if you buy it.”
> “Don’t worry Gramps, I’ll pay in full plus extra.” Kevin had a really good feeling about
> this Zoid.

Christina: And, if course, Kevin has the funds to buy this uber-powerful, one-of a kind
Ultimate X Zoid on hand, right?
Sandra: He took it form the regimental funds. As a result, no food for the month.

> As the group was heading back to the makeshift base that had been created after
> the Death Stinger’s attack,

Tasch: An outhouse an' a pair of old chairs does not constitute a base!

> Nightmare easily kept pace with the Spiner as it ran. Siege
> was busy talking to it while they ran. Kevin understood every word the Nightmare
> uttered, and he had a really good feeling about what would happen at the base
> when Kevin told Leena that her new Zoid was an ultimate X.

> When Kevin arrived at the base, Leena was waiting outside for him. She watched
> the Nightmare with wonder as it ran. She thought Siege was piloting it, but she
> noticed he was sitting on top of the Spiner. Leena walked over to the Spiner as
> Kevin dropped out. The Nightmare wouldn’t stop looking at Leena.

Tara [Nighrmare]: Mmm... snackalicious.

> “Hey Kevin, what’s with this Zoid?”
> “Oh, there’s nothing up with it.”
> Leena looked back at the Nightmare in wonder.
> “Leena, meet the Gun Sniper Nightmare, your new Zoid. And it just so happens it’s
> an Ultimate X.”
> “An Ultimate X?!?!” she said in amazement.

Tasch: Well, there ain't nothing up with it apart from that.

> “Yup.”
> “But, if it’s an ultimate X, then how do you know I’ll be able to pilot it?”

Christina [Kevin]: Um... act of plot?
Sandra [Leena]: I'll buy that.

> “Well, when she asked me to describe you, she seemed very excited to be able to
> finally meet someone like her.”
> “Hi Leena!” came an excited voice. It resembled Siege’s voice, but it was feminine.
> “Was that you Nightmare?” asked Leena hopefully.
> “Yup, that was me!” it replied. The Marauders had all gathered outside to see what
> was going on. Doc started asking Kevin all kinds of questions about Nightmare, most
> of which, Kevin couldn’t answer.

Tasch [Doc]: What kind of heat sinks does it use? Wouldn't a quad form be more
efficient? Can I go to the bathroom? If Nightmare fought Gekigengar III, who would
win? How do you get yer hair to stay up like that? Can I *please* go to the bathroom?

> Nightmare turned to Leena and asked:
> “Is he always like this?”
> “Yes Nightmare, unfortunately he is.”
> Doc suddenly looked over at Leena.
> “Did you just take to the Gun Sniper?”
> “Dad, it’s Gun Sniper Nightmare. And yes, I was talking to it.”
> “So does that mean...”

Tara: She's a nutbar? Damn right she is.

> “Yeah Doc, it’s an ultimate X.” said Kevin, able to answer that question.
> “WOW! Another ultimate X to design components for.!”
> “Not this time Doc.” Kevin interjected.
> “Oh, why not?”
> “There’s only one modification I want to make to Nightmare.”

Tasch [Leena]: Um, don't I get a say in this?
Tara [Kevin]: Quiet, I'm working.
Tasch [Leena]: I mean, after all, its the Zoid I'm using!
Tara [Kevin]: I'M NOT LISTENING!

> “Well can I at least help with the modification?”
> “Don’t worry Doc, you’re an essential person in the development of the modification.”
> “All right! What kind of component are we developing?”
> “Ion Boosters. Kind of like the ones on a normal Gun Sniper, but with the Liger Zero’s
> power.”

Tara: I could mention thrust to weight ratios, power usage, mass of materials needed,
structural stresses and the like, but I suspect you wouldn't listen. Although putting
boosters with that kind of output on a Gun Sniper would result in some very unhappy
Gun Sniper joints and lots of tripping.
Sandra: Not to mention that Leena probably wouldn't have much use for them. Her
fighting style is more about "stand and shoot" then speed and agility.

> “Cool. Draw up how you want them to look and I’ll get to work right away.” Doc
> jogged off, muttering to himself.
> “That’ll give him something constructive to do for a while.” said Jamie.
> “Yup.” said Bit. Kevin turned to Leena and Nightmare.
> “You two want to go for a test run?” The two of them were eager to get to know
> one another better.

Tara: Joy. Another sketchy outline-errr... "battle scene."

> Jamie watched in awe as Kevin and Leena spared. Siege had merged with the Spiner,
> and even still, it looked like Kevin was giving it his all. Leena and Nightmare had
> bonded instantly. And it seemed that they were easily keeping Kevin and Siege on
> their toes. Nightmare was extremely fast, despite the large weapons it carried.

Tara: But of course! Everybody knows that piling a ton of equipment on a small Zoid won't
affect its speed! Not at all. 9_9
Sandra: It's the sad but true logic that made Leena's Gunsniper possible.
Vic: And with a standard Weasel Pod, there's no effect on performance at all. Yay!
Sandra: ...who let you in?
Vic: I did. [She grins]

> It packed almost as much fire power as the Spiner,

Christina: If that's as much as the Cheese Spiner, I'd be really scared.
Sandra: Jeebus. Imagine what they could pack onto a frelling Iguan.

> and Kevin had to keep using
> his shield and ion shield. He listened to them over the comm.
> “Are you even trying?” asked Leena.
> “Yes!” said Kevin, obviously out of breath.
> “Your kidding right?”
> “No, Nightmare moves like the Fox! Your hard as hell to even get into my sights.”
> “That’s what you get for piloting a lumbering Zoid.”
> “LUMBERING!?!?!” Kevin shouted.

Tara: Yes, 'cause EVERYBODY hates slow, stompy things.

> “Here we go.” said Jamie.
> “I’ll show you lumbering!” Kevin charged Leena, showing more determination than
> he’d ever seen. Leena jumped over the Spiner, avoiding the sail.

Tara: Errr... what could the sail *do* to her if it hit her, anyway? "Jamming Blade" is a
misnomer. It's all flimsy and finny, not sharp and slicey...

> Doing so put her
> into the firing arc of the Spiner’s mini-defense cannons. The guns peppered
> Nightmare’s armor. Leena did a 180 degree turn and fired her hip mounted vulcan
> cannons. Her shots missed being that Kevin engaged his repulsor engines. After a
> few more minutes, Kevin had lost his advantage. Leena was pushing herself, and so
> was Kevin. Eventually, Kevin decided to call things off.

Sandra: ...rather then be beaten, of course.

> “Hey Leena,” he said panting.
> “Yeah?” She was out of breath too. Both Zoids showed signs of fatigue.
> “You want to call it a day?”
> “Sure, why not. I’m out of ammo anyway.”
> “Took you long enough to run out.”
> “Stop whining. You should help me with the way Nightmare’s boosters are going to look.”
> “Fine by me.” 

> As Kevin and Leena were leaving the hanger, they could hear Siege, Liger, and
> Nightmare talking. 
> “They sound like they’re going to be good friends.”
> “Uh huh.”

Sandra [Nightmare]: First thing we do is kill all the humans.
Christina [Siege]: Da! Nothing shall stand in the way of the glorious organoid people's
republic!

> They found a lounge that was empty and went to work. Their end result was a
> booster that was more stream-lined than the normal Gun Sniper’s, but retained the
> eight shot missile pod. The back end opened like on the Liger, so they didn’t look
> like boosters at first glance.

Tara: Nope, you’re not making any sense at all. Of course the LZ's boosters look like
damn boosters!

> Leena and Kevin took the plans to Doc and he
> immediately got to work. The next few days, technicians and mechanics were
> scrambling to get the work done. When they finished, Leena took them for a test
> run. The boosters worked flawlessly.

All [Bored]: Hooray.

> “Great work Doc.” Kevin congratulated Doc.
> “Did you have any doubts?”
> “No, I guess not.” said Kevin, watching Nightmare run along with her boosters
> engaged. Leena came over and hopped out of nightmare. She ran over to Doc and
> gave him a hug.
> “Thanks dad. The boosters are great.”
> “No problem Leena.”

Tasch: CPs. The perfect gift for any occasion.
Sandra: Nothing says you love someone more then getting them a *rare and valuable
CP as a gift*.

[She glances around]

Sandra: Great. They sneak in to annoy you, but they're never here when you want to
make a point.

> Two days after Leena and Nightmare tested the boosters, a small scout force was
> detected approaching the base. Kevin and Leena were the only ones deployed, being
> that they were some of the few who’s Zoids were in good working order.

Christina: So why only theirs? What happened to everyone else’s Zoids?
Tara: Maybe all those times being effortlessly smacked around finally got to them.

> The
> Marauders were the only ones whose Zoids seemed to be fine. 
> “Could you hang back Kev? I want to see how Nightmare and I do in actual combat.”
> “Fine, just let me know if you need any help.”
> “Sure thing.”

> Leena charged the enemy scouts which consisted of Rev Raptors. Leena finish the
> fight in just a few minutes.
> “How’s that for a short fight?”

Tara: It was over in an instant with a rather disappointing lack of climax. Just like Kevin
in the sack, really.

> “I’m impressed. It took you about as much time to take them out as it would a group
> of republican Zoids.”

Sandra: And again, in English?

> “Thanks.” said Leena and Nightmare in unison. 

> Once back at base, it was decided to pack up and leave. If the scouts had gotten
> any info back to the imperial strike force, than they would be here soon. As they
> were getting ready to leave, the Marauders got notice that they were to head to
> the base at the republic capitol. They wanted to look over the Gun Sniper Nightmare.

Sandra: It wasn't every day that they got to see something that contrived.

> Once at the republic base, there was no time wasted in getting Nightmare in to be
> scanned. The entire Marauders team watched the process. Everyone was eager to
> see what an organoid system looked like. Doc had seen what the Liger’s system
> looked like, but he wanted to see if Nightmare’s system looked the same. When
> the photos were shown, the system resembled Siege’s head. Except it wasn’t as
> sleek.

Christina: It also had a distinctly cheese-like colour.
Tara: Mmm... Cheese...
Steph: CHEESEBALL LIVES! He’s not bonded to the core, he’s just asleep!
Sandra: …the hell?

> “That’s exactly how Liger’s system looked.” said Doc.
> “Well, that’s not how Siege looked when I thought he was permanently bonded to
> the Spiner.”
> “How’d he look?” asked Naomi.

Tasch [Kevin]: Kinda flat and kinda dead.

> “He looked a lot like he did now, except you couldn’t see any of the spines. He was
> also suspended above the Zoid core, not encased within it.”
> “So it wasn’t a true ultimate X, it was half and half.” said Doc.
> “Half and half?” asked Leena.
> “Half Zoid bonded with Organoid, half Ultimate X.”

Tara: And all bullplop.

> “Interesting, very interesting.” murmured Kevin. Everyone was so lost in thought,
> that they didn’t notice the man watching them from the doorway.

All: FORSHADOWING!
Kang: Haha! Silly Dark Spiner man. My Lurk In Doorway technique has outwitted him
again!
Tara: Hey there, Kang!
Kang: Aieee! [Flips out, runs away]
Tasch: Well, while yer up,can you get us some snacks?

[Pause. No response]

Tasch: Dangit.
Sandra: Stuff that. I'm going. I need a bite anyway.
Christina: But the film's still running.
Sandra: Like we're gonna miss anything. Let's go.

[They stand and leave]

*****

The four Zoid pilots stepped out into the lobby of the theatre, looking around. "You
know what's the funny thing?" Tasch asked. "I can't see anyone here."

"Well he's a Ninja." Tara offered. "He's probably hiding behind a rubbish bin or
something."

"Naw, I mean everyone else." She replied as she shook her head. "We saw a helluva
lot of people in the theatre, but where have thy all gone to now?"

"Good point." Christina began. "We know they're not in the theatre, but they're also
not here."

"Maybe they got the hell outa here. I would." Sandra offered.

"Who cares?" Tara began. "I'm in dire need of a bite to eat." She walked over to the
snack bar, heading behind it. "And since nobody's here, I'm going to serve myself and
take whatever I damn well want."

Tara vanished behind the counter for a moment, before popping her head up. "Well?"
Sandra asked. "Don't keep us in suspense. What do we have?"

"Weeeeell..." Tara began. "There's some empty Japanese candy boxes... and some
popcorn that looks like its been here since the dawn of time... and a few empty
slurpee cups... oh, and some boxes labeled Soylent Green. But I ain't gonna
touch them."

"Yeah... that stuff tastes so icky." Tasch added. The others looked at her. "Wha?"

"Right, not the Soylent Green." Christina commented. She glanced around, spotting
a service entrance nearby. "I'm going to check out back, see if they have anything."

"Good luck." Sandra shouted out as she kicked a potplant to make sure that it was
free from Ninja infestation. "Dammit."

Christina stepped out the door, only to return a few minutes later. "Hey everyone,
there's something out here I think you all should see."

"What in the heck?" Tasch asked. "Is it more interestin' then what's in here? 'cause there
ain’t much except fer some old food."

"You could say that."

"Well all righty then!" Tara called out. "Lead the way."

The four of them stepped into a store room, passing various crates labeled 'Wileys Jeep',
'Jaguar', 'Apollo', 'Live Crab' and even 'VF-1J.' "So what in the heck are they storin' in
here?" Tasch asked. "Looks like you could fit an Elephander in some of these."

At the back of the store room was another door. "Heeeey." Tara began. "You found us a
way out. Not bad, Chris!"

"Well, it's not quite a way out." She admitted. "But I thought you'd want to see it
anyway."

She opened up the door to reveal a rather unusual sight. Outside was a small Zoid
arena, partially recessed into the ground. The floor of the arena was rock, covered by
a layer of sand, where as the seating didn't seem to pass beyond bare stone. The
place was old and weathered, as if it had been there for quite some time.

For a moment, they stood there looking over the arena, nobody speaking save for
Tasch and Tara complaining about the light. "Well that was unexpected." Sandra
finally spoke up.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have any other ways out." Christina explained.
"And it makes me really, really wonder what's up with this place."

"So the big question is, why the frel is there an arena out the back of a theatre?"
Sandra asked. "It doesn't make much sense."

"Well..." Tasch began. "What if it’s a really bad movie? Like a really, really bad one?"

"A Zoid scale Arena?" Tara asked.

"Well... if the patrons are that disgruntled..."

"It makes perfect sense." Sandra replied. "So it can't be right."

"Oh." Tasch commented. "Well, dangit. And I thought I was close."

"Well, nothing more out here." Tara sighed. "Let’s go back in to see if there's any
other ways out of this dump."

The four of them walked back into the derelict lobby, looking around for anything that
could possibly be an exit. The theatre proved to be surprisingly difficult to get out of,
however. Sandra couldn't even find a fire exit, which immediately worried her. Finally,
Tasch spoke up.

"Y'know, that big thingy on the roof looks like a gun." She began. "A really, really
big one."

The three of them turned to look where she was indicating. Sure enough, what
looked like the muzzle of a very, nay, stupidly big cannon, pointing straight at them.
"Woo.. that's certainly a big gun." Tara began. "A really, really big gun."

"Stop smirking." Sandra muttered, elbowing her.

"Uh, what should we do about this?" Tasch asked. "That thing's kinda scary."

"Well, my first thought would be to do whatever the person on the other end
of it wants us to do." Chrisitna offered. "And looking at it from here, it seems to be
actually indicating towards the theatre."

"You think that they want us in there?" Tasch asked.

"Well, it'd be one way to get people to read that drek." Tara commented.

"Well, in the absence of a better plan, I think we should comply." Christina finished.

"Hmm... head pain from tooly fic or worse pain from big tooly gun." Sandra muttered.
"Big frelling choice. Let's go."

*****

[They take their seats again]

Tasch: 'course, I wanna know what comes outa that gun.
Sandra: Overkill.
Tasch: What, with Jim and June walkin' and everything?
Sandra: Uhhh...

[Chrisitna and Tara just shake their heads]

> 11 - Cold War

Sandra: If this is a snow/ice chapter with a bad pun title, I'll kill the stupid tool.
Tara: Do you expect anything better?
Sandra: Frell no. I'm just looking for an excuse.

> Disclaimer:I forgot to do this last chapter; I'm giving credit to Sakurabubbles for
> coming up with the Gun Sniper Nightmare, one of the best Zoids I've ever heard
> of(besides the Dark Spiner)

Tara: Yeah. You might wanna double check with that Sakurabubbles person, 'cause it
ain't a real Zoid. Just another fanon thing like Geno Maxis and Glow Fox.
Christina: I'm beginning to wonder if this authour has a single original thought in his
head.

> Kevin stared out the Hover Cargo’s view port and thought back a few days.

> “Sorry to interrupt Marauders, but we have a new assignment for you.”
> “What is it sir?” said Kevin, looking at General Drack. He was one of the most
> renowned generals in the republic army. He also held a deep respect for the
> Marauders.

Christina: Oh my, it’s an original character.
Sandra: And, from the sound of things, he's going to be another Arse Kisser for
Uncle Kev. Tool it.

> “The empire has set up a military base in the mountains close to the republic
> border. We want you to go give support to the republic base on our side of the
> border.”
> “Yes sir.”

Christina: The more this fic goes on, the more I'm convinced that the Marauders
are the only Republican unit in the whole war.
Sandra: Given their kill ratios, I'd imagine that they're the only one you'd need.

> His thoughts came back to the present when Leena got his attention. She handed him
> the cup of hot coco he had asked for when she said she was going to the kitchen.
> Kevin stared back out the view port. ‘Why’d it have to be in the mountains? And in
> a snowy area on top of that?’ 

Sandra: I know this will sound like a stupid question but... while they've been off
buying cheesy Gunsnipers, running off to the capital, scaling mountains, building
boosters and the like, where has the Death Stinger been? Shouldn't it have been
busy tooling up the Republic and reducing to so much radioactive crap?
Tasch: It’s not needed in the story right now, so it ain't doin' nothing.
Sandra: ...I would argue, but I know you're right.

> “What’s up Kevin?” asked Doc, seeing Kevin’s frown.
> “Nothing, I just HATE the cold.” Not that he wasn’t used to it. He had grown up in a
> temperate climate, he just hated cold weather.

Tasch: Yeah, he has a vulnerability and takes double damage from it.
Christina: Up next, he will take on Mr Freeze, Killer Frost AND Captain Cold

> “So you do have a weakness.” said Naomi, mockingly.
> “Seems you have that same weakness. I noticed you’re not wearing that skimpy outfit
> of yours anymore.” he shot back.
> “So?” she replied, knowing she had been defeated.

Tasch [Naomi]: That's 'cause I'm not a total mailbox head.

> “Doc, what’s our ETA?”
> “One hour.”
> “Good.” said Kevin, taking a sip of his coco.

> When the Marauders got to the base, they were given the rundown. Apparently, the
> imperial forces were well equipped. And the republic forces were waiting for supplies
> to arrive in two days. They had been sent here to help them hang on until then and
> to destroy the imperial base once things were in order.

> The Marauders were out on patrol the day after they arrived. So far, everything had
> been quite until Jamie said he picked up multiple objects on radar.
> “How many Zoids Jamie?” asked Brad.
> “A full battalion. They’re not moving either.”

Tash: They're havin' a nap. Come back later.

> “Something’s not right.” said Kevin, dropping the Spiner into a defensive position.
> Siege let out a low rumble and then merged with the Spiner. Bit started moving
> forward.
> “What’s the big deal? We’ve defeated more Zoids than this before.”
> “Still...” replied Kevin, trailing off.

Christina: I can't take the tension. Will the Marauders be ambushed or will Kevin
effortlessly annihilate all attackers?

> “They’re on the move!” shouted Jamie.
> “Sleepers!” shouted Kevin, surprised.
> “What?” said Leena, opening fire on the Zoids moving under the snow.

Tasch: Y'know, those wooden or concrete planks they put under railway tracks.

> “Sleepers, they lie in wait for enemy Zoids. When they detect them, they attack
> them. Doesn’t seem right though. From what I remember, the empire uses Rev
> Raptors as sleepers.”

Sandra: Kevin, has anyone ever told you that you're a self-important know it all
tool fairy with all the charm, wit and sophistication of a dead donkey's date?

> “Well, these aren’t Rev Raptors.” said Bit. When Kevin saw a gun rise above the
> snow, he realized what they were.
> “Heldigunners!” he shouted.

Tara: Oh dear. More Hel Digunner cannonfodder-age...
Sandra: If we get lucky, it'll be the pointy-toothed doom kind of Heldigunenrs from
the OJR.

> “Not good.” said Jamie. He couldn’t hit them while they were underground, so he
> was pretty much useless.

Christina: ...that’s a pretty fair summary of him in the fic so far, actually.

> Kevin turned the Spiner and found a large black Zoid leaping at him. He dodged it
> and looked at the Heldigunner. It was jet black. ‘Great, they’re using the new
> models.’ He took it out and moved on to another sleeper.

Tara: New models? Make that *old* models. Old school Heldies are black. New school
Heldies are metallic grey and red, like mine. Old school Heldies are also scaryuberd00m
Zoids. Godboy would be wise to watch his back, if he wasn't hiding inside that constant
mist of character shielding wafting about him.

> Naomi had positioned herself on a ledge and was picking off sleeper after sleeper
> as they would jump for anyone on the ground.

Tara: Stupid Heldy pilots. They don't NEED to jump out of the ground, they can just poke
their gun out, fire a shot and dive back under.
Sandra: Doodedoo... Let’s jump out and expose ourselves. I hate living anyway!

> Leon and Bit were working in tandem, Leon delivering the disabling blow, and Bit
> finishing the job. Brad was working much the same way with Kevin.

> After about 20 minutes, the sleepers were strewn around, the wreckage smoking.
> “Well, that was fun.” said Bit sarcastically.
> “Right. Come on, we’ve got to get back to base and report this.”
> “Roger.” said everyone.

Tara [Growls]: Heldies are NOT cannonfodder! ...Then again, anything in this fic that isn't
a theropod or a Liger is cannonfodder.
Sandra: They're cannonfoder in the canon works too. Although the Heldies I've met were
anything but.
Vic: Heh. Canonfodder.

> While their pilots were in getting debriefed, the Zoids decided to talk about what
> happened. Siege, Spiner, Liger, and Nightmare looked at one another and then
> looked at the other Zoids. Spiner spoke first.

Sandra: ...Huh? The Zoids are talking now? x_O
Tara: It’s like that one scene in "Godzilla vs Gigan." And that was fruity enough.

> “Been a long time since I’ve fought any sleepers.” he said, rumbling thoughtfully.
> “Don’t you mean ‘we’?” asked Siege. Spiner looked down at Siege.
> “Right...”
> “You aren’t the only one who’s fought sleepers you know.” said Liger.
> “Liger and I have both fought sleepers before, just never Heldigunners.” she said,
> unconfidently.

Tara: Wait until you've fought a Heldy with a competent pilot. >_>

> “Don’t worry about it Nightmare.” said Blade.

Sandra [Perks up]: Blade? Blade's here? Maybe his Buster Fury or Gary Shin can
rip Kevin a new date.
Tasch: Uh, that's the Blade Liger talkin' there.
Sandra: Damn.
Tara: Disappointed?
Sandra: Very.

> “So Spiner, what kind of Zoids are usually used as sleepers.” asked Red Liger.
> “Usually Rev Raptors and Guysacks. I’ve really only ever fought Guysacks though.
> Being that I’m an Imperial made Zoid.”
> “Don’t worry about it Spiner.” said Red Comet.
> “Thanks. Raynos, any input?”
> “Not really. I was pretty much useless in the fight.” he said, letting out a shallow
> rumble, and lowering his head.

Tara: The bird speaks the truth!

> “Hey, chill out Raynos. You did save my butt remember.” said Fox.
> “True, guess I wasn’t that useless.” he said, crowing. Spiner looked towards the
> hanger entrance.
> “What is it?” asked Nightmare.
> “Things don’t look well for the republic. The Death Stinger is too powerful,

Tasch: It has the power of a thousand bottles of prune juice.

> even for
> Siege and I.”
> “He’s kidding right?” Liger asked Siege.
> “No, unfortunately not.”

Tara: ...That was vaguely interesting. Zoids should chat more often. Now if only the
dialogue weren't so wooden...
Tasch: I wonder if my Redler can talk to other Zoids. Would be interestin' to see what
it'd have to say.
Sandra: I can imagine what Spud would say. 'Raaah, hungry, hey stop poking me with
that thing, fix that tooly hole in my side and get me a CP-01.'

> Kevin walked up to General Drack. He had come to the base with the supply convoy.
> “How is the development of the KG coming sir?”

Sandra [Sarcastic]: Hmm... the 'KG'. I wonder what that could be?
Tasch: A King Gojulas?
Sandra: ...well, yes...

> “Coming along fine. It’ll be ready within the week.”
> “That fast?”
> “Things are coming along much better than expected.”

Tara: It's graduated from belching smoke rings to full-blown atomic fire breath! All we
need to do is get rid of that obnoxious kid thats following it aorund.

> “Well, that’s good. We’re going to need the KG to battle the Death Stinger.”
> “Agreed.” said Drack, using Kevin’s usual response. Kevin looked at the man and
> chuckled.

Christina: He's cool because he's one dimensional!

> Kevin walked into the hanger to see what Zoids had been brought. He found himself
> looking at the republic’s newest type of Zoid, the Saber Lion. He looked at the Zoids
> in awe.
> “Impressive aren’t they?” said the man who walked up beside Kevin.

Sandra: In a "small and inoffensive" way.

> Kevin turned to him.
> “Harry?” he said in surprise.
> “Yup.”
> “What are you doing here?”
> “I pilot a Saber Lion now.”

Tasch: ...now I'm sure that there's a reason why Harry'd pick a shrimpy lil' Zoid over
his Darkhorn or Iron Kong PK, but it escapes me.
Sandra: Because, as with the Guntiger, the author mistook it for a large, dangerous
and kewlzies Zoid.
Tasch: Well that's just silly.

> “And your robots?” Kevin said, looking at Harry, impressed that he was piloting such
> a Zoid.
> “Technicians. They didn’t prove effective enough in battle.”
> “Doesn’t surprise me.”

Christina: I know its just Harry's Robots, and they weren't that capable to start with,
but does he HAVE to put down everything in the canon that he doesn't like?
Tara: Harry's robots are cool, dammit. They're blatantly homosexual and funny! All they
need is a better combat AI and they'll pwn any of the other human pilots. Or, at least,
give horrible mental traumas.

> “So do you like the Saber Lions?”
> “Works of art. Head seem a little clunky though.”

Christina: Do you think the author even noticed the exposed pilot?
Sandra: Do you think that sense has entered into this at any stage?

> “That’s only because of the large blade on the head and the stabilizers on the sides
> of the head.”
> “Really?” said Kevin, amazed at the amount of common sense and knowledge Harry
> had gained in a years time.

Tasch: Hang on, has a year gone by since the start of this fic?
Sandra: It feels like more.

> “Nice seeing you again Kevin.”
> “Same here. Oh, watch out for Siege while you’re here.” Kevin said, chuckling.
> “No problem.”

Tara: Again with the whacky 'unprovoked assault' antics. When will the madness ever
let up?

> The day after the assault of the imperial base, the republic counted it’s loses. The
> battle was won easily by the republic. And they had lost only two Zoids. But their
> victory was short lived. The imperial assault force that had destroyed the base
> the Marauders originally operated out of attacked the mountain base. The republic
> was doing fine, until their three war horses showed up. Zephyr and Isaac tore
> trough republican Zoids like they were nothing.

Christina [Zephyr]: So how come we're usually getting our arses handed to us, but
yet we're suddenly able to kick butt?
Sandra [Isaac]: Republic Mooks are unnamed characters.
Christina [Zephyr]: Makes sense.

> The Death Stinger waited on the
> side lines and took out the occasional Zoid. Until it started charging it’s gun.

Tara: Well that makes no sense at all. Why not just start with the CPG then pick
off the survivors?

> Kevin
> wasn’t in the Blade Liger or Spiner either. He hadn’t been able to make it to the
> Hover Cargo when the battle began. He and Siege ended up with a Leomaster
> class Shield Liger.

Sandra: Plot Discussion! Desire to do something different, or setup for some scene
that needs that needs to get the Zoid trashed?
Christina: Setup.
Tasch: Setup.
Tara: Setup.
Sandra: That’s all for this week's edition of Plot Discussion.

> “This is lovely isn’t it Siege?” said Kevin, complaining about the Zoid. He was used to
> piloting much more maneuverable Zoids. This Shield Liger was heavier than a normal
> Shield Liger, and it wasn’t easy to pilot. 

Sandra: What's the matter? Isn't a souped-up super-advanced Shield Liger kewlzies
enough for ya? Stupid tool.
Tara: And it's all black and stuff! C'mon, ZK! Black! Black is kEwlZiez, isn't it? Show the
Shieldy DCS-J some lurve. Stupid kid... hell, I've seen old performance test recordings
of DCS-Js taking on Blade Liger ABs and winning... BAM! CP-01 rips through that shield
like it's made outta tissue paper.
Sandra: Pity it’s so hard to pilot. Otherwise, it would have probably become the Army's
next Zoid instead of the Bladey.
Christina: You two finished geeking out yet?

> “It’s not my fault it was the only Zoid left.” said Siege.
> “Whatever.” 

> Kevin was fighting Zephyr, and losing, badly. He got the upper hand though. Kevin
> had spun his Zoid 360 degrees and brought himself inside the Geno Breaker’s shield
> deployment area. Kevin fired his heavy beam cannons and took off the Geno Breaker’s
> buster claws.

Tara: X BREAKERS! They're called X-Breakers! >_<

> Isaac came up and knocked Kevin aside. Kevin was about to fight back
> when an order came over the com.

> “All republic units retreat. Repeat, all republic units retreat.”
> “Kevin, get back to the Hover Cargo!” came Doc’s voice over the com. Kevin looked
> at the transport that was a couple hundred meters away and getting farther from
> Kevin.

Sandra: A couple of hundred meters... come on man, you're in a fricking Leomaster.
You can make that distance in seconds.

> He also saw the column of imperial Zoids between him and the transport.
> “I can’t make it, go on without me.”
> “Are you nuts? You’ll be killed!” shouted a hysterical Leena.
> “Not likely.”

Tara: There! He admits to his character shielding!

> said Kevin, opening fire with everything he had, destroying Zoid after
> Zoid.
> “At least try and keep up with us!” shouted Leena again.
> “I won’t be able to. I’ll catch up to you, don’t worry.”
> “But-”
> “GO!!!”
> “All right.”

Sandra [Kevin]: GOD DAMN IT, JUST DO IT!
Christina [Leena]: Whoah, okay!

> “Leon, your in command for now.” Kevin said before cutting the com link. Kevin
> looked at the imperial Zoids.

Tara: Okay, we got ourselves a favourite character. Never mind that Leon's never been
a leader before, he suddenly gets promoted to the Right Hand of God

> “Let’s see what you’ve got!” shouted, jumping into the mass of them.

> Leon’s face wore a shocked expression. Kevin had not only handed over command to
> him, but also disappeared in the mass of Zoids. Leon looked around the bridge.
> Leena was crying, their dad holding her in his arms and trying to comfort her.

Sandra [Doc Toros]: There, there, Leena dear. There will be other men for you to
shamelessly exploit and crush.
Tara [Leena]: But... he was the best! He'd give me shiny things without me even
needing to break bones!

> Jamie
> and Bit were sitting there, with the same expression that Leon had. Brad and
> Naomi were holding each other, Naomi looking extremely worried. Kevin had been
> a superb leader, and a good friend.

Tasch: He had conquered the Trake, effortlessly throttled Romulans, single-handedly
defeated Gul Dukat, saved history, outwitted Q and had the best Kobayashi Maru
time ever.

> They thought he had died before, and he had
> managed to survive, but this time, things didn’t look so promising. Leon spoke up
> finally.
> “All right everyone, were going back to the capitol to come up with a way to give the
> imperials hell and kick their asses permanently.” Bit spoke up first.

Tara: "Kick their arses permanently?" You mean you're gonna keep booting them
in the butt 'till the end of time? It’s a kinda fun mental image.

> “I’m with ya Leon. We can’t let the empire get away with what they just did. They
> took someone that we held dear, and now we’re going to deal that pain back to them.
> 1,000 fold.”

Sandra: And, um, all those other poor redshirts and innocent bystander people who
have been killed so far, right? I mean, Kevin can't have been the only casualty to
date.

> Leena stood up and looked out at the shrinking battlefield. 
> “I agree with Bit. Once Nightmare and I are through with the empire, they’ll wish
> they’d never been born.”

> Kevin and Siege walked away from the battered Shield Liger.

Sandra: Oh look, they're alive. This would be a dramatic development if it hadn't been
painfully obvious

> The two of them had
> done a considerable amount of damage before having to finally retreat. They had
> made it to the foot of the mountain before the Liger fell over, dead.

[Sandra mimes getting out a pistol and shooting]

Sandra: It was the only humane thing to do.
Tara: That poor Liger...
Sandra: I wasn't shooting it!

> Kevin and
> Siege now trudged through the pine forest that lay at the foot of the mountain.
> Kevin remembered seeing a town before they entered the mountains, and hopefully,
> the two of them would come across it.

Tara: They were never seen again.
Tasch: Some people think the Yetis got 'em.
Andre: What?

> 12 - Looming Darkness

> Disclaimer:still the same

Tasch: Holy Crudstunk! Lookit the size of that thing!
Tara: Joy, exposition time. Hold on a sec, I need to use the lil' girls room.

> Leon looked at the computer screen in front of him. It bore almost the exact same
> thing it always did.

Sandra: A c-prompt.

> That the Death Stinger was showing an unusual amount of
> appearances when the Marauders were concerned in a battle. There was some
> good news though. Apparently, this Death Stinger is not as powerful as the original.
> It was about half the size, and possessed a little more than half the originals power.
> It was still powerful enough to destroy a military base though. Leon sighed to
> himself. Things had gotten harder since Kevin was lost in that battle.

Christina: The way he puts it, you'd think that the entire war effort depended on
Kevin.
Sandra: You mean it didn't?

> It had been
> almost a month, Leon realized. It had seemed like only a few days though. As if
> losing him wasn’t bad enough, Kevin’s Blade Liger and Dark Spiner had gone off
> looking for him.

Tasch: Kinda selfish of ya. Come back here an' help with the war effort, ya bums!

> The good thing was that they would periodically check in with
> Leena. He sighed again and left his office.

> Kevin and Siege trudged through the desert. They had been walking for almost
> a month, but it seemed like years.

Tasch [Kevin]: Hey look, buddy. It’s the tracks of a man and an organoid. Let's follow
them!

[pause]

Tasch [Kevin]: Hey look, buddy. It’s the tracks of two men and a pair of organoids.
Let's follow them!

[pause]

Tasch [Kevin]: Hey look, buddy. It’s the tracks of three men and a trio of organoids.
Let's follow them!

> Kevin looked around. Everything always
> looked the same, except for the occasional village. At nightfall, Kevin stopped and
> turned to Siege.
> “You know the drill pal.” Siege nodded his head.

Christina: [makes whimpering noises]
Sandra [Kevin]: You know what I mean. A man's got certain urges that need to be
filled.

> His chest opened and multiple
> wires shot out and wrapped around Kevin. He frowned. He’d never get used to
> the gut wrenching speed that Siege used to pull Kevin in. Once he was one with
> Siege, an interesting thought washed over Kevin. He and Siege were now
> basically of one body, but still of two minds. Kevin decided not to dwell on it as
> he fell asleep.

Sandra [Kevin]: If it gets cold, I may have to gut you and crawl inside your body
for warmth, little buddy.
Christina [Siege]: Please do.

> The Marauders sat in a room listening to General Drack. They had come to find
> out about the new Zoid in development, the KG, or King Gojalus.

Sandra: So here's a question; why haven't they just drafted the ZBC's Ultrasaurs
fleet into the war? That'd end things pretty quick smart, Cheesy Deathstinger or
not.
Christina: Yes it would, but then how would Kevin show off?
Sandra: Good point. Let's move on.

> It had been
> finished, it just had to complete the testing stage. They came to find out that
> Kevin and General Drack found the Zoid, and thus became the heads of it’s
> development. It turned out to be a very powerful Zoid, having more firepower
> than an Ultrasaurus, and it was also larger. Not by much, but it was. It had
> three huge chain guns embedded in it’s chest,

Christina: That's a Charged Particle Cannon flanked by a beam cannon and an 
Electromagnetic launcher, you do realize. And that's before we mention the Death Scream.
Tasch: So... y'all reckon he just saw a pic of the King Gojulas and tried to guess what
it did without figurin' what its data was?
Christina: Well that would explain the Gun Tiger and Saberlion...

> and could be modified to carry much more than just those chain guns.

Tara: I'm back! What did I miss?
Sandra: This guy just got the King Gojulas' weapons completely wrong.

> Leena nearly fainted over the fact
> that a Zoid could be equipped with so much weaponry. When Drack asked if
> there were any questions, Leon didn’t miss a beat.
> “Who will pilot the King Gojalus General?”
> “We don’t know yet Leon, very few pilots have shown the ability to even move
> the Zoid.”

Christina: Gee. I wonder who they could mean!

> “What about you?” asked Brad, knowing full well General Drack’s reputation as a Zoid
> pilot. He was second only to Kevin.

Sandra: Because nobody's better the Kanyon.
Christina: Kevin.
Sandra: I *know* what I said.

> “Hadn’t thought of that.” he said in all honesty.
> “I guess I will try the KG out. Who knows, maybe I’ll be the one who’ll be able to
> pilot it.”
> “I know you will General.” said Bit.
> “Thanks Bit.” said Drack.

> “You really think Drack will be able to pilot the KG Bit?” asked Leon.
> “I know he will.” 

Tara: Okay! It’s a set up, we get the picture already!
Christina: I'm sure he could have made it more blatant somehow.

> As the group walked down the hall ways of the base, Harry came running up to
> Leena.
> “What is it Harry?” she asked.
> “We’ve got a message from the Dark Spiner. We need Nightmare to translate.” he
> said panting.

Sandra: They should try running it though Babelfish instead.
Tasch: Lesse... "when the brassiere D death to the reverse side of legend, it make proud
with the greatness of power, the grapple game ability and dogfight; you seeing the guy
loss who are emperor of the darkness, it attacks with the constant running head on
charge and then vanishes the attack. appearing suddenly, the force of legend, superior
battle knitting machine unevenness shark liger is the love machine of ruuji, it uses
power against the Dragon (Shine) and ice blurring".

> “No problem, patch it trough to the hanger so Nightmare can hear it.”
> “Got it.” he said running off to the comm room. Everyone turned around to see Leena
> already down the hall and rounding the corner.

Tara [Leena]: I knew I should have hidden the body better!

> When Leena started to hear Nightmare’s translation, she started translating herself.
> “We have traveled very far and have finally sensed something familiar. Good and
> bad.” Leena paused to listen to the two Zoids converse.

Tasch: Good news is that they don't have to worry about the Death Stinger. Bad news
is that a big white dragony thing swooped down and et it.
Sandra: Gilvy’s a wyvern. Not a dragon.
Tasch: But Gildragon’s a dragon, ‘cause its horns point backwards.
Sandra: But Gilvader-
Tasch: Its horns point forwards, so it’s a Wyvern. But Redler, Slamander, Gungyarados
And Deskartes Dragon – and Gildragon – all have horns that point forwards.
Sandra: I want to argue, but I can’t.

> “Kevin is somewhere within 300 miles of our current position.” A cheer went up
> throughout the base.

All [Bored]: Hooray.

> “And the bad news?” Nightmare asked Spiner. Spiner seemed to sigh. Leena started
> to translate, her voice croaking every now and again.
> “A darkness is moving towards the capitol. A very large one. Whatever it is, it
> possess great power.

Tara: The Deathstinger.
Sandra: The Deathstinger.
Christina: The Deathstinger.
Tasch: The Descat.
Tara: Wha?
Tasch: I'm jus' sayin, that's all.

>  And it may be more than one thing coming to the capitol.” A
> look of genuine fear crossed the entire Marauders team’s faces.
> “You don’t think it’s...” said Naomi, trailing off.
> “Unfortunately, I do.” said someone walking up behind the Marauders.

Tara: Will our mystery guest sign in, please.

> They turned
> around to see a woman with a beautiful figure and blue-green hair.
> “Pierce!” shouted Jamie.

Christina: What's she doing here?
Sandra [Pierce]: Appearance fee.
Kang: Pierce? Green-haired lady ninja? Where is she? [Looks around]

> “Yeah, it’s me. I’ve been assigned to the Marauders team.”
> “But weren’t you with the Backdraft?” asked Leon suspiciously.
> “I was, until my last battle with Bit.”
> “Right. What do you pilot?” asked Bit.
> “Storm Sworder. Normal, no modifications. I got rid of the one Laon gave me.”

Sandra [Pierce]: Because lots of missiles aren't Kewlzies. I need bladey things,
dammit.

> “Nice to see you again then, Little Lady.” said Jamie with a gleam in his eye.
> “Why, you’re that little punk!” she shouted, exasperated.
> “Insults will get you no where.” Jamie said confidently. He was only 16, but seemed
> to hold some kind of attraction to Pierce.

Tara: Which in the Sovereign Republic of Aardytopia is an offence punishable by spanking!

> “Whatever. Lets just get her Storm Sworder loaded and ready for combat.” said Doc.
> “Fine by me.” Pierce said, glaring at Jamie, who was smiling like Leena after she won
> an argument.

Sandra: Think it would be worth pointing out the difference between the Wild Eagle
and Jamie and the fact that the Wild Eagle only exists when he's in the Raynos?
Tara: I figure that since El Stupido here has missed so far so far chracterisation of
secondary cast members is largely irrelevant.

> Kevin and Siege were trudging through the desert, as they usually did.
> “This is pathetic.” said Kevin.

All: You're telling us.

> “During the day, you can die of heat stroke, and at night you can die of hypothermia.”
> he said, grumbling.
> “It’s a desert, why can’t it just stay hot.” mumbled Kevin.

Christina: Do you do anything but whinge? What's next, the sand is too coarse a
grain for you?

> “Don’t look at me, I’m just a simple organoid.” said Siege sarcastically.
> “Shut up.” Kevin replied, wiping the sweat off his brow. He then thought he saw a
> village of in the distance.

Tasch: It was a simple little seaside village with a weird lookin' tree near it.
Christina [Kevin]: Maybe I should ask those guys in the weird skeletal raptors for
help.

> “Warlord Prozen, do you think it’s wise to pilot the Death Stinger yourself in the
> assault on the capitol of the republic?” asked Isaac.

Sandra: Why thank you for that, Joe Exposition.
Joe Exposition: What was that?
Sandra: ...never mind.

> “I will be fine. The Death Stinger can withstand whatever they have set up for
> defense.” he replied with practiced grace.

Christina: ...he is so doomed. King G or no King G, he's just doomed.

> “Whatever you say sir.” said Isaac, still unsure. Liger Zero X kept telling him he had
> a bad feeling about what was to come, and Isaac agreed. Zephyr didn’t question
> Prozen’s reasons, he just followed orders. Even though it wasn’t the original Death
> Stinger, it could still defeat the Geno Breaker with ease. So he just watched and
> waited. But he also had the nagging feeling of doubt like Isaac.

Tara [Zephyr]: Why am I doing this? What am I gaining from all this? All I ever
achieve is getting my arse handed to me...
Tasch [Isaac]: Did I leave the oven on?

> 13 - It Begins

> Disclaimer:if you don't know what this is for, go ask someone else

Sandra: Ask your parents when you're older.

> It had been a month since Kevin had gone missing, and no one was ready to admit
> he was dead until they found his body. Leena especially. She hadn’t been herself
> lately.

Sandra: She hasn't been herself for most of this fic.
Tara: Or most of the last one.

> She was sitting by Nightmare at the moment. They were both staring at the
> night sky.

Tasch: One... two... three? The hell? Who's been messin' with the moons?

> “Do you think what Spiner sensed was just Kevin’s body?” she asked her Zoid. It
> replied with a low rumble.
> “Doubtful. A Zoid can only sense their pilots if they are still alive.”
> “So you mean...”
> “Spiner and Blade will bring Kevin and Siege back in the near future.”

Sandra [Leena]: Damn.

> “That’s good.” Leena said softly, gazing at the moons. She then gazed off at the earth.
> “Maybe we should see about taking a vacation to earth when the war is over.”
> “Sounds good.” replied Nightmare.

Tara [Leena]: And maybe we could both retire and move to the country, and buy a farm
and a boat...
Christina [Nightmare]: ...don't start any long books, y'hear?

> Kevin and Siege walked out of the village he had seen. He hadn’t even been there
> for 5 minutes before he was kicked out. When he had asked someone where he
> could find a motel, he found himself staring down the barrel of a pistol.

Sandra: While a flock of white Storches went past in slow motion.
Christina: It seems that these beloved peasant villagers like him about as much as we do.

> Siege
> quickly dealt with that little problem,

Tara [Kevin]: Make sure you hide the body better this time!

> but the village didn’t want anything to do with
> the war, so he had been kicked out.

Sandra: They're pretty weary after that one time with the Gungyarados.
Tara: TROGDOOOOOOR!

> “Man, I just asked about a hotel. I can’t help it if I’m in command of an elite military
> unit.”
> “People should know better than to draw a gun around you anyways.” grumbled
> Siege, a little angrily. Kevin laughed.

Tara: Because everyone knows how much of a badarse Kevin is.
Christina: I don't want to tell you what to do, but you might not want to go around
telling everyone you're the leader of an elite Republic squad.

> “This is true my friend, this is true.” he said throwing his right arm around the 10 foot
> tall organoid. Kevin looked at Siege for the millionth time. His golden eyes looked
> soothing and dangerous at the same time.

Tara: Awwww... hell! This sounds like something out of a slash fic! We're gonna get
Godboy-Organoid Slash! Ack! Unclean! Unclean!
Sandra: This is what having a pervy mind does for you.

> He was considered a dragon type
> organoid, because of the spines on his head. He was extremely dangerous when
> angered, but usually very calm and collected.

Christina: I wonder why we're suddenly getting a description of Siege now?
Tasch: To fill up space?
Christina: ...I suspect so.

> The two’s emotions rubbed off on each
> other to a certain extent, and they had similar personalities, so they fit together like
> pieces of a puzzle. Kevin took his arm off Siege and the two continued to trudge
> through the desert. 

Tara: Blarg. So bored... ugh...

> The Marauders were currently engaged in combat.

Tara: Still bored...

> The empire kept sending scout
> troops to test the republic’s defenses, and the Marauders kept deploying the
> Marauders so they wouldn’t be able to find out.

Sandra: Then the Empire sent out several different groups at once in different locations,
so the Marauders couldn't get all of them at once.
Christina: I guess they really are the only unit in the Republic army.

> “Jamie, Black Redler 10 o’clock high.” said Leon, seeing the Zoid pass over his Liger.
> “On it Leon.” said Jamie, he and Pierce flying after it.
> “How are things on you end Naomi?”
> “No problems here.”
> “Brad and Leena?”
> “We’re good.” came Leena’s reply. 

Sandra: Tara, Christina?
Tara: Writing in pain.
Sandra: Tasch?
Tasch: I have no idea.

> “Good.” Leon went for the next Rev Raptor and tore it to shreds with his blades.
> He turned to another and blasted it’s head off. This went on for another few
> minutes. Eventually, every imperial Zoid had been turned into wreckage.
> “Well done Marauders.” congratulated Leon.

Sandra: One gripping segue later...

> Back at base, Leon was sitting on his Blade Liger when Leena came over to talk
> to him. 
> “Still worried about Kevin, huh Leon?” Leena asked him simply.

Christina [Leon]: Actually, I was worried about the war situation, especially with regards
to that Death Stinger. I'm concerned that the Empire may be trying to lull us into a
false sense of security before striking a killing blow. Believe it or not, Kevin isn't the
center of the universe.
Tara: Godzilla rule of dialogue, remember?
Christina [Leon]: Damn.

> “Yeah, I still don’t know whether he’s dead or not.” 
> “Choose not.” said Leena, smiling.
> “Huh?”
> “Nightmare told me that if Spiner sensed Kevin, he’s still alive. He wouldn’t have been
> able to sense him if he was dead.” Leon breathed a sigh of relief.

Christina: Thank you for repeating that earlier plot point.

> “Being in command tiring you out big bro?”
> “Yeah. It’s a lot more work than I thought.”
> “Well, You aren’t the only one who has to deal with so much paperwork. Being second
> in command has it’s disadvantages you know.”
> “Really now?” Leon said, nudging Leena the way he used to when the two of them
> were younger.

Sandra: He gave that up after one time when she nudged back a bit too hard. His ribs
did heal up just fine though.

> “Oh shut up.” she said, nudging him back. Leena hopped off the Liger and walked
> away. For the next few minutes, Leon listened to Nightmare and Liger Zero talk before
> leaving the hanger. ‘Wish I knew what they were saying.’ Leon thought as he walked
> away.

Sandra [Nightmare]: The human suspects something. We must act, comrade!
Christina [Zero]: Do not worry. He will be the first do die.

> Kevin and Siege had walked through the desert for almost more two weeks, and they
> were both on the brink of exhaustion. The two of them finally fell over, unable to go on
> any longer. Siege lost consciousness first. Before Kevin blacked out, he thought he saw
> a truck coming towards them.

Tara: Because nobody dies of exposure in Zoids fanfic! Whenever somebody collapses from
exhaustion out in the desert, there's always somebody conveniently nearby to rescue them...
Or a new Zoid for them to pilot... or an ancient ruin with a Zoidian in a stasis pod... Man,
Zi's deserts are so cluttered!
Sandra: This sounds like a character origin story from a Zoids RPG. Hell, this sounds like any
character origin story from any Zoids RPG.

> The Marauders were deployed again, this time with the republics full defense force.
> The empire was done with the scout forces, they were going all out.
> “Is everyone set?” asked Leon. Everyone acknowledged.
> “Then be ready.” 

> The group watched the imperial Zoids advanced. The Zoids ranged from Molgas to
> Great Zabers.

Tara: Fricking hell.. its either a Sabre Tiger or a Zaber Fang! Don't mix the two!
Tasch: But what if its a Zaber fang with a CP-02?
Tara: Well... uhh... damn it.

> From behind the main force, Prozen, Zephyr, and Isaac watched.
> “This should be interesting.” said Prozen, looking at the amount of Gojalus that had
> been deployed. He then saw an Ultrasaurus in the background. He frowned.
> “Be ready you two.”

Christina: Be ready to suck.
Tara [Zephyr]: Right here? Well, if you say so, Prozey-kins.
Christina: uuuh...

> Kevin woke up, expecting to see sand in every direction, but he found himself looking
> around the room of someone’s house.

Sandra [Kevin]: I hate this place.

> Siege had been laid out next to the bed. He
> woke up not long after Kevin got out of bed and started looking around. The two of
> them walked into the next room to find a young woman sitting on a couch.

Tasch: The seven singing midgets threw him, however.

> “Oh, you’re awake.” she said, looking at Kevin and Siege sweetly. He walked over to
> a chair and sat down, Siege curling up at his feet.
> “Thanks for taking me in, no one else would.” he said, looking around.

Tara: Yeah... it’s always hard for the last Mary Sue in the store. Nobody wants them,
usually going for something with sparkly eyes. In the end, they usually get put down.
Sandra: You have to be cruel to be kind. Sometimes a Shotgun behind the
Woodshed is the best option.

> “It was no problem at all.” Kevin looked back at her.
> “How long was I out?” he asked.
> “Three days.

Tasch: He was aobut to go off.

> Both of you.” she said motioning to Siege.
> “Your not afraid of him?”
> “No, there’s really no reason to fear them.”
> “You sound like you’ve had experience with them”

Christina: She used to be a character in a Zoids RPG. She - and everyone else there -
had one.

> “No, just heard stories about the one that was partnered with one of my ancestors.”
> “Right.” Kevin said, walking over to look at the picture that Siege had gotten up to
> investigate. In the picture was a man with black hair who had his arm around a
> woman with blond hair. Standing next to them was a silver organoid.

Christina: She's descended from Fiona and Van, so she must be a Zoids RPG character.

> The three of them looked vaguely familiar.

>  Kevin dismissed it. He was about to thank the woman
> for her hospitality and leave when his stomach rumbled rather loudly.
> “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have anything to eat would you?” he said, shyly.
> “No problem, I’ll fix you something to eat.”

Sandra: Ironically, Kevin had found the Mach Storm base. His refuge was cut short
when he criticised Sweet's cooking.
Tara: That girl scares me.

> After Kevin had eaten and thanked her for one of the best meals he’d ever had, he
> walked out side. She walked him to the edge of the village.
> “By, the way, what’s the name of this village?”
> “You’re currently in the Wind Colony.”
> “Thanks. Oh, and thanks again for your hospitality.”

Sandra: Well thank you for that, Sally Exposition.
Joe Exposition: Hey! You leave my sister out of this!

> “No problem.” As Kevin and Siege turned to leave, they saw a large dust cloud off in
> the distance.
> “I couldn’t be the empire, could it?” the woman asked.
> “Don’t think so.” Kevin said, making out the outline of two Zoids. When they got closer,
> Kevin realized what they were.

Tasch: An Ice Blazer and a Saradin!

[Pause]

Tasch: Well it could be.

> Kevin jumped in the air and cheered. Siege was
> extremely happy too.
> “What’s with you guys?”
> “We just got the biggest lucky break of our lives!” Kevin shouted as the Zoids came
> to a stop in front of him.
> “Spiner, Blade good to see you!”
> “And you.” Spiner rumbled. Kevin had hopped up into the Spiner and Siege had merged
> with the Liger.

Sandra: Wow. The Zoids are getting better dialogue then the actual people. I don't
know if I should laugh or cry.
Christina: How about being thankful that he's not writing dialogue for people?
Sandra: Point.

> “Thanks again!” Kevin shouted, before he closed the cockpit and jetted off.
> “Those two are very strange.” she said.

All: WE KNOW!

> The empire and republic were going all out. There were major casualties on both
> sides.

Tara: Um, what's going on? Where are we? Why are we fighting? Who's involved?
Tasch: A fanfic, in the theatre, we don't like the fic and the four of us plus whoever
else sicks their head in.
Tara: Great. Now I'm more lost then I was before.

> But the republic had the advantage. They had many more Zoids to deploy, and
> General Drack had yet to deploy the KG. Things tipped in the empire’s favor when
> Prozen sent Isaac and Zephyr into the fray.

Sandra [Zephyr]: Haha! Time for a thorough spanking, Redshirts!
Christina [Isaac]: Yeah! With no Kevin around, we can kick arse!

> The republic thought all was lost. They
> then picked up two signatures coming in behind the empires forces. One broke for
> the republic base. The other went towards the battle field. Prozen looked at the
> Death Stinger’s radar in dismay.

Sandra [Zephyr]: Tool.
Christina [Isaac]: Tool.

> “If that’s who I think it is, I’m going to have to destroy the capitol.” he muttered.

Tasch: So why didn't y'all do that before? I mean, we've got a Deathstinger and all.
Sandra: Rah, Rah. Here comes Kevin to save us all.

> “Siege, open all the leg vents and use them to give us some more speed.” Siege
> roared in agreement and opened the vents. The Spiner lurched forward. 

Tara: Um dumbarse, you do realise that those vents are for ventilation or maintenance
access and that you can't use them to fly or boost yourself with?

> “That Zoid just went trough a major speed boost.” said Doc.
> “How?” asked Drack over the comm system.
> “I won’t know until I see the Zoid, but it’s traveling at almost 400 kilometers per hour.”
> “That’s impossible...” said Drack, trailing off.

Tasch: It must be... a Hellrunner!

> “Apparently not.” Doc watched the radar until he could get a fix on the Zoids signature.
> It turned out to be the Zoid he least expected.
> “It’s the Dark Spiner!”
> “What?” shouted Leena.
> “The Spiner, it’s traveling much faster than even the Lightning Saix can.”
> “How in gods name is that possible?” asked Bit.

Tara: Through the miracles of plot contrivances, sprinkled with cheese.

> Doc brought up the Spiner on camera.
> “Kevin’s opened all the leg vents, he using them to add on speed.”

Sandra: Are you even going to attempt to explain how you're doing this, or is it
just going to be more of playing with your tool?

> “How long will he last at that speed?” asked Pierce.
> “I don’t know.” replied Doc.

Tara [Leena]: Not long. Trust me on this [Puffs on cigarette]

> “Guys, tell me I’m not seeing this.” said Brad. Everyone turned in the direction that Brad
> was facing. The Death Stinger was charging it’s particle gun.
> “All units, attack the Death Stinger!” shouted Leon.
> “Negative! All units, stick to the battle you are currently fighting, I’ll get the Death
> Stinger.”

Christina: Don't worry, everyone, Kevin's back. You can all go back to standing around in
the back row and doing nothing again.

> “Kevin?” 
> “That’d be me Leena!” Leena lost focus for a moment and was almost cut in half again
> by Isaac.
> “You are going to suffer the same fate as last time.” Isaac hissed.
> “Doubtful. Liger Zero X remembers the moves of my Gun Sniper, not the Gun Sniper
> Nightmare’s.”
> “Oh shit.” was all Isaac could say. Leena opened up with her hip mounted gattling
> guns. Isaac barely managed to dodge. 
> “How is you Zoid so fast?”
> “You ain’t the only one with an ultimate X now pal.”
> “Not good.”

Sandra [Bit]: Hello? Remember me, Bit Cloud? Isaac's my Fanon rival, not hers! Hey,
come back and face me in a remotely fair fight, you tool!

> The rest of the Marauders team was focused on Zephyr. His shield was on the brink
> of failing under the heavy fire. When it finally did, Zephyr went on the offensive and
> managed to take out Leon and Brad before Naomi took him down. They turned to
> Leena and found the Nightmare walking towards them, the Liger Zero X lying on
> the ground, smoldering.

Tara [Leena]: Take that, you Dinosaur!
Sandra: Nice variation.

> “Siege, how long until the Death Stinger can fire?” Kevin asked, through gritted teeth. 
> “Not Long.” he hissed.
> “Will we make it in time?”
> “Hopefully.” he replied with a growl.
> “Then send power from everything except the shield and life support to the thrusters.”
> “Done.” The Spiner started moving even faster.

Sandra: Okay, this guy has learned EVERYTHING about combat from Star Trek. Frelnuts.
Tasch: So does that mean his inertial dampners are gonna go out?

> “I don’t know how much longer I’ll last at this speed.” said Kevin, looking at his
> speedometer, it showing that he was going 425 kilometers per hour.

Tara: A Dark Spiner running at that speed would shatter its own limbs. Hell, ANY Zoid
running that fast would shatter its own limbs. Descat just barely manages to keep itself
from doing so, and its got a specially designed body and engine that's designed for
that kind of performance. At 180 more then a standard Dark Spiner, your limbs are
gonna shatter the instant you step!

> Prozen was about to fire when the Spiner hit him from the side, it’s shield engaged.
> He saw the shield on the Death Stinger’s shield flicker out of existence, along with
> the Spiner’s. He was sent flying by the force of the blow. He looked over at the
> Ultrasaurus. It had trained all it’s guns on the Death Stinger.

Tasch: Reach for the sky, yer scum-suckin' mollusks.

> “All imperial units retreat!” he shouted, burrowing under the ground. Zephyr and
> Isaac had somehow managed to get up and run.

Tara [Zephyr] and Christina [Isaac]: Team Rocket is blasting off again!

> “Should we go after them?” asked Jamie.
> “No.” said Kevin from the Spiner.

Sandra [Kevin]: I need to fill up another seven chapters of this dreck still.

> Everyone looked over at the Spiner. all of it’s vents
> were open, including the ones on the tail. Massive amounts of heat were coming off
> the Spiner.

Christina: Do you want your Dark Spiner rare or well done?

> Bit looked at in amazement.
> “It’s giving off more heat then the when the Liger overheats from the Panzer armor!”
> he said in surprise.

Sandra [Kevin]: Haha! That’s how kewl I am! My Zoid overheats more then yours!

> “You’re right.” said Pierce landing.

Christina [Pierce]: I have nothing else to do other then to randomly agree with people.
In fact, what have I done since my big introduction?

> “Kevin, can you jettison the Spiner’s armor?” Doc asked.
> “Nope, the Spiner won’t cool as quickly because it doesn’t have vents under the
> armor.”

Tara: But it does have vents in the legs... Oh wait, you used those as thrusters,
dumbarse.

> “Will you be okay?” Leena asked, worriedly.
> “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Kevin said, opening the cockpit. 

All: Damn.

> The armored section opened forwards then the view port opened backwards. Kevin
> jumped out of the Spiner and landed, lacking the grace he usually had.

Sandra: (I Know the skit, I need to look it up)
Tara: Nope, no good. Thanks for playing, see you in four years.

> Siege landed
> next to him. Heat was rising off his body and he looked just a little angry. He turned
> to Kevin and growled at him.
> “What? How was I supposed to know this would happen?” he replied nervously.
> Siege rumbled in annoyance and opened up his thrusters and chest so he would
> cool faster.

Sandra: And in the process steamed all skin form Kevin's bones.
Christina: No.
Sandra: Not just a little?
Christina: NO!

> Kevin shrugged his shoulders and pulled off his gloves, coat, and shirt.
> Kevin threw them on the ground next to him and looked up at the Spiner. He was
> surprised to see how much heat was actually coming off the Spiner.
> “You okay Spiner?” Kevin asked the Zoid. Spiner lowered his head to stare eye to
> eye with Kevin.
> “I will be.” he rumbled, angrily.
> “Why does everyone hate me all the sudden?”

Sandra: It comes naturally, trust me.

> “Forget it, let’s just no to do that again.” Spiner said, rising. Kevin turned around to
> find Leena running at him. She tackled him and kissed him mid-fall. When they hit the
> ground, Kevin got the wind knocked out of him. 

Tasch: Hey that's a penalty! Black card for you, an' go to the bench.

> “It’s nice to see you to Leena. I’ll return the kiss as soon as I stop seeing red and
> can find you.” Kevin said, sitting up. He was rubbing his eyes and blinking a lot to
> try and get his vision back.

Tara [Takes off glasses]: Nope, I've got idea what's going on there. [Puts them back
on] Whoah! I think I was better off not knowing!

> After the blood drained from his eyes, Kevin stood up
> and turned to his teammates. 
> “So Leon, did you like being in command?”
> “Not much. It’s way to tiring.” Kevin flashed him a grin.

Tasch: But on the other hand, y'all get to give people arbitrary orders. An' when
there's something you don't wanna do, delegate it.

> “You know what guys?” Kevin asked.
> “No...” replied Leena.
> “Lets talk later, right now I want to take a shower, get something to eat, and sleep. 
> and don’t wake me up for a week.”
> “Fine by us.” said Pierce.

Sandra [Pierce]: I have friends who could make it longer if you like.
Christina: Not cool, Sandra.
Kang: No, she does.
Christina: ...

> “When did you get hear?” Kevin asked, surprised.
> “Like you said, we can talk later.”

Sandra: "The Conversation ended on this."


> 14 - The Republican Army

> Disclaimer:it's the same as it's always been


> Kevin was resting in a lounge. He had been true to his word, and would had have
> slept for more than a week if Leena hadn’t woken him up.

Tara: Hold the war effort! Kevin needs his sleepy bo-bos.

> Kevin opened one eye
> and looked over at the door when he heard it open. Leena walked through. Kevin
> closed his eye. Kevin was about to drift off into sleep when Leena tossed his legs
> onto the floor.
> “How ya’ feeling?”
> “I was feeling fine until you threw my legs onto the floor.” Leena grinned.

Tasch [Kevin]: Couldja have thrown the rest of me down with them? Gettin'
dismembered kinda hurts.

> “I wanted to talk to you.” she said, her expression now solemn.
> “About?”

Tara: Shaft!
Sandra: I can dig it.

> “The Death Stinger.”
> “Oh.”
> “Kevin, you almost died just attacking it. What are we going to do when we have to
> fight it again?”
> “Use the KG.”

Tasch: King Gojulas solves everything. Except meteors.

> “And if that doesn’t work?” Kevin’s expression darkened.
> “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that.”

Sandra: Oh, I don't know. I guess Kevin will just have to cheese it to death.

> The republic was getting prepared for an all out assault. When Kevin got the list, he
> was glad the decided to figure the numbers out for him, cause he wouldn’t have been
> to figure them out. Kevin didn’t even know the republic had this many Zoids.

Tasch: He'd run out of fingers and toes to count on.

> He
> wandered through the main hanger. He had lost count around three hundred
> and fifty-four. At that point, Leena came up to him to let him know it was time to leave.

> Upon reaching the imperial border, the republic encountered little resistance.

Sandra [German]: It is cold tonight Hans.
Christina [German]: Ja.
Sandra [German]: I hope the war will be over soon.
Christina [German]: Ja. I wish to see my lovely wife and two small children again.
Sandra [German]: Let us hope that no crazy hero types in Dark Spiners come along
and try to attack us.
Christina [German]: What are the chances of that happening? No Zoid could get
past us! Ha ha ha!
Christina [German]: Ha ha ha!
Tara [Kevin]: Cheese particle cannon!
Sandra [German]: Tool.
Christina [German]: Tool.

> Kevin
> looked over the heavy assault Zoids arrayed on the holographic radar. He counted
> 5 Ultrasaurus, 20 Gojalus, and 35 Mark II Mad Thunders.

Tara: Thirty five Madthunders!? Mk II MADTHUNDERS!? What the fuck?! Why would there
be more Madthunders then Gojulas!? Unless the author's confused about scale again
and thinks they're Dark Horn sized...

> There were literally
> hundreds of Zoids moving around these Zoids. Bit walked over and looked at the
> display.
> “Incredible. I didn’t even know the republic had this many Zoids to deploy.”
> “Me either.” said Kevin. 
> “Where’s the King Gojalus anyway?”
> “Following behind us.” Kevin replied, zooming out on the image. It showed the KG
> about 20 kilometers behind them. It was being escorted by a group of Konig Wolves.

Tara: It's K-Woof! I *knew* it'd show up at some point! Go me! [Does the Jumping
Shie again]
Sandra: Wait, you're happy that thing's in here?
Christina: Well, it's being shown as a regular cannonfoddery Zoid rather then being
some sorta ubermachine like it normally is in these things, so its a nice change.
Tasch: But is Rob Hermann pilotin' it?

> A few days after crossing the imperial border, the republic met with some
> resistance. A group of 20 Command Wolves were all that was needed. The empire
> had only deployed Molgas. The entire battle lasted only 10 minutes.

Sandra: I hnow it looks like a foregone conclusion, but I'd like to know some details
about it. Like... who won, for example.

> “The empire should be putting up stronger defenses being that we’re advancing into
> their territory.”

Christina: Of course, one can wonder how this sudden change in the war situation
occurred. One minute, the Empire's forces are devastating the Republic's army and
laying waste to the capital. The next, the Republic is invading the Empire's territory
and walking all over them. Can I ask how that happened?
Tasch: Kevin came back.
Christina: But he hasn't done anything. So he drove off the Deathstinger once, but
that's not enough to turn around the whole war effort on its own. Even then, there's
nothing that's stopping them from using it again, especially while the Dark Spiner is
being repaired.
Tasch: Kevin came back.
Christina: I... I want to argue, but I can't. Your logic is perfect.

> “So what do you think it means?” asked Pierce, walking up next to him.
> “They’re testing us.”
> “Again?” asked Leon.
> “Apparently. They’re going to keep testing us for a while, at least until they can gage
> our strength.”

Sansdra: You don't need to gauge their strength. It’s a group that includes thirty-five
ferking Mad Thunders. You can see them coming.

> “And when they do?” Bit asked.
> “Guess.”

Tara: Conga party!

> “All out assault.” Brad said.
> “Right.”


> 15 - Clones

All [Signing]: I think I'm a clone now, every chromosome is a hand me down.

> Disclaimer:still the same, my devoted fans

Sandra: Both of them.
Tara: And when you remember that one of them is his right hand…

> The republican army had just about reached the imperial capitol when the empire
> went all out. They had deployed everything they had to combat the republic. The
> damage to each side and the surrounding area was unbelievable.

Tasch: Stuff was happenin'. No idea what, just... stuff.

> The Marauders
> were currently at the front of it all making their way to the city.
> “Jamie, three Redlers, five o’clock high!”
> “Roger!” Jamie did a snap roll and got behind them. He shot them down when an
> energy beam barely missed him. Kevin looked at the beams source.
> “Zephyr.” he hissed.
> “You expected someone else?”

Sandra: Gunter Prozen with the Bloody Deathsaurer and the PK force behind him?
Christina: Sorry, no.
Sandra: Aww... I wanted them all to go up in a huge explosion.

> “Not really.” Kevin replied. From behind Zephyr the Liger Zero X appeared.

Tara [Bored]: Oh no. Its Zephyr and Isaac. How will we ever survive this?

> “How ya been bro?” Isaac asked cockily.
> “I was better when you weren’t around.”
> “That’s no way to greet your brother.”
> “Shut up and fight!” yelled Leena. Before everyone could begin, multiple Zoids
> appeared from behind the buildings. Kevin looked around in disbelief.
> “It can’t be...”
> “But it is!” 

Tasch: It can. It is. Optimus Prime is back!

> The Zoids that had stepped out were Dark Spiners. They had red and green armor
> instead of blue and purple.

Tara: GREEN! Dark Spiners are green and purple! Damn ZK... adjust the colours on
your computer! 

> The Zoid’s main body was white, not black.
> “There’s no way this is possible!” Kevin shouted, looking around.
> “Well, unfortunately for you, it is. These are our mass produced models. They’re not
> as powerful as the original Dark Spiner, but they still have more power than a Geno
> Saurer.”

Christina: Should I bother to point out that a Genosaurer is actually more powerful then
a Dark Spiner?
Sandra: Would it matter?
Tara: I see they're using Gundam "Mass production" logic.

> “Not good.” muttered Doc from the Hover Cargo. 
> “You are going to have to take these out before you take us.”
> “Fine.” Kevin declared, darkly.

> The Dark Spiner copies advanced, and Kevin made the first move. He charged the
> Spiner in front of him and smashed it into a building. It barely walked out of the
> rubble. As it did, it wobbled, hardly able to stand.

Sandra: Should I be amazed that the uberzoid was whacked so easily, or bored that
Kevin has just obliterated another opponent with stupid ease?

> “Apparently, they’re not as good as you made them out to be Zephyr.”
> “That’s only because you caught that one off guard, the rest will be much more
> careful around you.”
> “What, don’t they have pilots?”
> “Oh, they do. And they’re the best in the Empire. They can use a Molga to destroy a
> republic base if they wanted to.”
> “That’s good, but not good enough to beat me.”
> “What do you mean?”
> “I can tear a city apart with only the Spiner’s teeth and claws.”
> “You’re bluffing.” Zephyr said, worriedly.

Tara [Zephyr]: My dad can beat up YOUR dad!
Sandra [Kevin]: Oh yeah? Well MY dad is faster then your dad!
Tara [Zephyr]: Oh yeah? Well MY dad is BIGGER then your dad!
Sandra [Kevin]: Oh yeah, well...

> “Really?” Kevin said. He charged the damaged Spiner in front of him and neatly cut it’s
> head off it’s neck with only a single swipe. The imperial Spiners all took a step back.
> “That may be so, but you guys are vastly outnumbered.” Zephyr said. Kevin looked
> around and found this to be true. For every one of his teammates, there were four
> Spiners.

Tasch: I wonder if they follow the law of Conservation of Ninjitsu?
Tara: The what?
Tasch: It's a B-Movie term. Y'see, the more ninjas there are, the less effective each
ninja is. If y'all have roomful of ninjas, you can whack 'em easy. But if you have a lone
ninja all on his own... well... he's a killer.

> “Naomi, get into a sniping position.”
> “On it!” Naomi proceed to climb up the nearest building. One of the copy Spiners tried
> to get her in it’s sites, but Brad rammed it, knocking it off balance. It’s shot went wide.
> Naomi looked at how close the shot had come to her. A window directly under her had
> been shot out, and there was a hole in the roof.

Christina: If the Spiners outnumber these guys four to one, why aren't they doing
anything to support each other?
Sandra: They use martial arts movie logic. Bad guys attack the good guys one at a
time, no matter how much they outnumber them.

> “Thanks Brad.”
> “No problem.”
> “Jamie, Pierce. You two need to make quick passes and do as much damage to them
> and as little to us as possible.”
> “Right.” the two said in unison.
> “Everyone else, waste em’.”

Tara: Brace yourselves for another gripping fight scene, guys.

> Everyone started engaging the copy Spiners. Bit was being bothered by five of them,
> so Kevin came in and threw one against a building. Bit then used his Strike Laser Claw
> to take out another. The third one was coming up behind Bit when it fell to the
> ground. Kevin and Bit turned their Zoids around to see a hole in the Spiners neck. 
> “Thanks Naomi.”
> “No prob.”

> Brad had gotten four Spiners to follow him and had released his smokescreen. Even
> with the sensors the Dark Spiner possessed, they were having trouble finding the
> Fox. Brad came up behind one of them and shot it’s leg off. The next two got a Strike
> Laser Claw to the neck. Brad took out one more and Naomi picked off the last one.

Sandra: What are these Zoids made out of? Compressed cardboard plating over a
balsa wood and craft glue frame?
Tasch: See? Law of Conservation of Ninjitsu.

> Zephyr and Isaac were amazed at how quickly the number of Spiners was thinning.
> The Marauders showed a skill they hadn’t possessed before.

Tara: It's called an "Act of Plot." A thinly veiled one at that.

> Leena and Leon were working in tandem. Leena was weakening one Spiner after
> another with her barrages and Leon would deliver the finishing blow. Their fight
> lasted about three minutes.

Christina: Can I ask what exactly these clone Spiners are doing while the so-called
heroes are relentlessly mowing them down?
Sandra: Damn, this is reading like something out of a B-Movie.
Tara: So where's Rutger Hauer and Ice-T?

> The Marauders had finished off all the Spiner clones.

Tasch: They didn't seem to be as powerful as Genosaurers to me.
Sandra: Must be for limited values of "Genosaurer".
Christina [Darkly]: Definitely.
Clarence: Damn right! My Genosaurer could blow one of those hunks of junk away in
a single blast from the charged particle- [Sandra hits him]
Tara: Thank you for that.

> They turned to Zephyr and Isaac.
> “Oh, did I forget to mention that you have to fight one more person?”
> “Yes, you neglected to tell us that.”

Christina: This will be the Mirror Match, I guess. After that you fight Goro and THEN
Sho Kahn.
Tasch: I don't have any evil plans!
Sandra: Wrong Mortal Kombat villain there.
Tash: Dangit.

> “Well, you do. Mick?” A Dark Spiner that looked exactly like Kevin’s walked out.

Tara: It even has the furry dice, the annoying squeak in the pilots seat and an
exact replica of the bit where Seige gnawed on one of the feet.

> “The original I suppose?” Pierce asked.
> “It is.” replied a new voice.
> “Who is that?”
> “That would be Mick, the Empire’s best pilot.” replied Isaac.

Christina: Suddenly, appearing without so much as a warning, or even an establishing
shot...
Tasch: Um, who is this Mick guy anyway?
Sandra: The Empire’s best pilot, apparently.
Tasch: So why haven't we heard of him so far?
Sandra: Probably because the Author just pulled him out of his arse.
Tasch: Oh. [pause] That'd hurt.

> “All right then, the best pilot the Republic has will fight the Empire’s best pilot.”
> Kevin declared.
> “And who might that be?” Mick asked cockily.
> “Me.” Kevin replied.
> “Finally, a real fight.” Mick said.

Sandra: So, Mick, where have you been all war while the rest of the Imperial Army
have been getting smacked around, their other two supposed 'best pilots' included?
Tara: So by out and stating that he's the Empire's best pilot, you're freely admitting
that Isaac and Zephyr suck? At least you're honest.

> “You expecting to win?” Kevin asked.
> “No doubt I will.”
> “We will see. Siege!” Siege walked up to the edge of the roof on a nearby building.
> You mean he hadn’t even had the organoid merged with his Zoid!” Mick shouted,
> surprised.
> “Bingo.” Siege started glowing and merged with the Spiner. The Spiner roared with
> new power.
> “This might not be as easy as I thought.”
> “Oh, it won’t be.”

Sandra: Great. I don't know weather to rag on Kevin for giving himself an unfair
advantage, or congratulate him on being smart enough to do it.
Tara: He's a Mary Sue. He already has an unfair advantage.
Sandra: Point.

> The two Dark Spiners stared each other down. Each pilot was waiting for the other
> to make a move. Mick attacked first. He opened up with his shoulder cannons. Kevin
> dodged behind a building and came off the top of it, attempting to crush his
> opponent. Mick hovered out of the way. ‘So he has repulsor units too.’ Kevin thought.

Tasch: Naw, he's just got tooth fairies in his pockets.
Sandra: It’s slightly more believable.

> “Mick, one thing I want to ask of you.”
> “Yes?”
> “That we don’t used the charged particle guns.”
> “Fine.”
> ‘Good, that ensures no one will get hurt.’ thought Kevin.

Christina: Heaven forbid that in the middle of a war anyone gets *hurt*.
Tara: What about all the Zoids you've relentlessly massacred so far?
Sandra: Their pilots all jump out at the last second.

> The two Dark Spiners played a game of cat and mouse for almost twenty minutes.
> One would attack, the other would dodge. Mick was getting the advantage though,
> as Kevin was growing weary from all his fights and was starting to make mistakes.

Tasch: See? One last ninja and he’s an out of control killin' machine.
Christina: Can I ask what the other Marauders are doing during all this? Or, for that
matter, Zephyr and Isaac?
Sandra: If I was either of those two, I'd be getting while the getting was good.

> Mick took advantage of this and knocked Kevin to the ground. As he was about to
> deliver the final blow, an Iron Kong burst out of the building next to the two of them
> and smashed the Dark Spiner Mick was in to pieces.

Sandra: I was hoping that something spontaneous yet not entirely unexpected like this 
would happen.

> “Who are you?” Kevin asked, finally getting a chance to reach for the water bottle
> he had thrown in the cockpit before he left. Loud gulping was heard over the comm.

Tara: Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe?

> “Kevin, could you come up for air so he can tell us who he is?”
> “Yeah, sure Leena.” Kevin replied panting. The Iron Kong pilot introduced himself.
> “Harry Champ at your service.” Harry said, in his most gallant voice. Everyone’s jaw
> dropped, including all the Zoid’s.

Sandra: ...well that was... unexpected. I'm amazed. This fic has surprised me in a
good way.
Tasch: Aw, I saw that comin'.
Sandra: You did?
Tasch: Well it was obvious. When Harry said he was pilotin' a Saberlion, then I knew
that he'd show up in one of his main Zoids, simply because the author had said he
wasn't going to be using one of his main Zoids.
Sandra: Your logic is flawless, and is making my head explode.

> “You have got to be kidding me!” said an astonished Bit.
> “There’s no way Harry could’ve beaten Mick when Kevin had so much trouble with
> him.” said Brad.
> “I hate to say it, but he did.” Kevin said.
> “How?” asked Pierce. She new that Harry was a fair pilot, nothing more.
> “He only beat him because he caught him by surprise.”
> “Are you saying I don’t have any skills as a Zoid pilot?!?!?” Harry shouted at Kevin.
> “Hit the nail on the head Einstein.” Kevin said, making Harry even angrier.

Christina: ...and he's such a humble and greatful godboy too.
Tara: Alright, this little Gary Stu just insulted my combat style, and the combat style of
every other Hel Digunner pilot, as well as every Warshark, Stealth Viper, Guysak, Helcat
and any other sort of Stealth Zoid that you can think of. As well as every Sniper, too.
Sooo... in other words, using tactics, and strategy, to catch your opponent off guard
means you have no skill!? Absolutely not! Hell, the fact that Harry snuck up on 'em in
an Iron Kong is AMAZING feat of piloting...

[The others applaud]

Tara: But then again, a style of fighting that is "cool" is just "better" then one that's not as
impressive but still effective. [Sigh]
Sandra: All done?
Tara: Well, seeing as how UBAR Dark Spiners are in this fic, sneaking up on one and catching
it by surprise seems to be the quickest and most effective way of taking 'em out... I mean, if
an Iron Kong can do the job nicely, why not expand on that? That'd be cool- make an anti
Spiner weapon by building custom "Stealth Kongs" to take 'em out. Fun! And they should've
made Uber-Gustavs in GF to fight the Geno Breaker, since it worked so well against the
Saurer... 
Sandra: Don't make me hurt you.

> “Why you...”
> “Can it Harry, we have more important things to worry about.” Leena said, motioning
> to the Geno Breaker and Liger Zero X.

Sandra [Isaac]: Don't mind us, we're just going.
Christina [Zephyr]: Don't hurt me please! I have a wife and seventy-three kids to think
about!

> “Oh right.”
> “You okay Kevin?” Leena asked.
> “Yup, the water helped.”
> “Can we stop talking and fight already?” Zephyr asked, impatiently.
> “Fine by me Zephyr. Just be ready for the fight of your life.”
> “Don’t worry, I am.”

Sandra [Kevin]: You are going to get such a spanking, young man.
Tara [Zephyr]: Please do. ^_^

> 16 - The Beginning of the End

> Disclaimer:same as it's always been

Tara: Doom, doom, doom. This is when all the kEwLziEz mass destruction begins! Doom
can be lots of fun if pulled off properly. However, it rarely is.

> The two sides stared each other down. Each was waiting patiently for the other to
> make a move. Except for Harry, he was anxious, wanting to impress Leena. So, on
> sheer impulse, he charged Zephyr and Isaac.

Sandra: Oh look. Its time for some Harry Bashing. What a surprise.

> “Harry, get back here! That’s an order!” shouted Kevin.
> “You’re not going to tell me what to do anymore! Especially after stealing my Leena
> from me!”
> “Harry, this is hardly the time or place!” shouted Leena. Harry didn’t listen though,
> he kept running at Zephyr and Isaac. The Zero X’s claws started glowing.
> “STRIKE LASER CLAW!!!” shouted Isaac. 

> The Iron Kong fell into three pieces. The left arm and main body kept flying towards
> Zephyr before falling a few meters in front of him. The legs just fell after they were
> cut off.

Sandra: ...so much for that.
Jake: I tried SLCing an Iron Kong once. Liger Zero got swatted aside like a bug... Aldo
had to come and rip it apart for me.
Tara: Jake! Now you're here too?
Jake: Just passin' by...

> “Harry!” shouted Bit.
> “Siege, is he still alive?”
> “Yes he is, though I don’t know why you care.”

Tara: Of course, I bet if it was some new character the author made up, or a cool one like,
say, Karl, everybody would be all "UMG!!! Thanks for saving us! You r0xx0rz!!!11 ^__^"
Feh.  [Flicks a cigarette butt at the screen]

> “SIEGE!!”
> “Just kidding.” Siege said, nervously.
> “Good.”

> “Can we just skip standing around and fight all ready?” Zephyr asked his opponents.
> “Fine, you weren’t the only one getting bored.” Kevin said.
> “Then lets begin.” Isaac said, walking up next to the Geno Breaker. The Zoids leapt
> into motion.

Christina: I guess this is time for the climactic final battle or something like that.

> Bit and Isaac were engaged in a furious battle. No one wanted to jump in, fearing
> that they’d get torn apart.

Vic: Instead they sniped from a distance and glooped 'im.
Sandra: Damn right. Don’t engage in a one on one battle unless you have superior numbers.

> Both Ligers might have been using their basic armors,
> but they could still tear every one else apart. Bit and Isaac used their Strike Laser
> Claws at the same time and ended up ramming each other instead. Bit got up first
> and fired his Shot cannon at Isaac. He dodged and returned fire. Bit dodged too,
> and charged Isaac again.

Jake: Shock cannon, not Shot cannon. But at least he didn't call it a "sock cannon."
Tara: Or a bean gun!

> Kevin had given the order for everyone except Bit to go help the republic army.
> After that, he turned the Dark Spiner to face the Geno Breaker.
> “So here we are again Zephyr, just like when you had your Geno Saurer.”
> “Yes, hear we are again. But this time Kevin, you won’t win. I will.”

Tasch: That's a pretty bold statement... given that you've lost every fight so far.
Tara [Zephyr]: I KEEEEL YOU!

> “We’ll see.” said Kevin, his expression darkening.

Sandra: Whoah... this one's a monster of a paragraph.

> The Geno Breaker and Dark Spiner stared each other down, and time seemed to
> freeze around them. When they charged, they seemed to be moving in slow motion.
> Each Zoid let out a thundering roar and hit the other fighting. Zephyr tried to grab
> Kevin with one of his buster claws,

Tara: I've already bitched about this, but it, along with the Spiner's CPC, has become a
running gag. X-BREAKER! THEY'RE CALLED X-BREAKERS!!! >_<

> but Kevin ducked below it and used his shoulder
> cannons to blow it off. Kevin didn’t have time to react when the other buster claw
> came at him. It tore off the Spiner’s pulse cannon and right arm. Kevin turned the
> Spiner’s head and bit down on one of the blades. When Zephyr tried to break
> free, the blade broke.

Tara: ...As opposed to simply closing the pincers shut and slicing off the Spiner's jaw.
Dumbarse Geno pilot.
Sandra: The Spiner's jaw looks like it'd snap if you tried putting any pressure on it.

> Kevin took a few steps back and Zephyr drove the Geno
> Breaker’s horn into the Spiner’s left arm and into the main body. The Spiner
> roared in pain and bit down on the Geno Breaker’s back, destroying the thrusters.
> The Geno Breaker jerked backwards, breaking it’s horn.

Tara: So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus! And I bit off his ear and he
chewed off my eyebrows! And he took out my appendix and I gave him a colonic
irrigation! Yes indeed, you better believe it!

> Kevin and Zephyr looked
> at the horn. It was embedded in the Spiner. The Spiner pulled it out with it’s teeth
> and moved the arm.

Christina: I'd love to know how he took that out.
Sandra: Notice that at every stage, Kevin has been getting the better of Zeph. For
an ultimate showdown, this is a pretty lamely one-sided fight.
Tasch: I'm jus' waitin' for him to use the Atomic legdrop on him.

> The arm hardly moved at all. Zephyr took the opportunity to
> shoot at Kevin with his legs mounted guns. When Kevin dodged, Zephyr shot the
> Geno Breaker’s left hand at the Spiner. Kevin engaged his repulsors and hovered
> in the air. The Breaker’s hand flew under him harmlessly. Zephyr shot it at him again
> and this time, the Spiner caught the cord in it’s left hand. Kevin spun the Spiner and
> threw Zephyr into a building.

Tara: This is reading like a fight from a Zoids RPG... with a severe cheesemonkey… which
Reminds me that I need to spork ‘Eternal Requiem’ when I get a chance.

> The Geno Breaker climbed out of the rubble and sent
> an electric current through the cable. The Spiner cringed and then bit down on the
> cable, severing it.

Christina: As opposed to frying Kevin becuse the cable was electrified, right?
Tara: Of course, do you think anything could stop the mighty Kevin?

> The Breaker fell into the building again because of the sudden
> loose of tension. The Spiner landed and the Geno Breaker got up again. The two
> Zoids started to stare each other down again.

Sandra: PARAGRAPH!

> Bit and Isaac had done considerable damage to each other. Each Liger was missing
> multiple pieces of it’s armor, which was strewn around them.
> “You ready to give up yet little bro?” Isaac said, panting.
> “Not on your life.” Bit said, panting too. The two Ligers had plenty of fight left, and
> they weren’t going to back down for anything.

Tasch: That's when Isaac surprised him with the Pile Bunker.
Tara: What? LZX doesn't have a Pile Bunker.
Tasch: It does on the action figure.
Tara: So?
Tasch: An' the LZX figure has a Bit figure, and Bit is Isaac's brother and all.
Tara: ...nope, you lost me.

> Bit and Isaac charged each other
> again. The Ligers hit each other and clawed at one another’s necks. Bit tried to
> tear the Zero X’s throat out. Isaac managed to dodge, but Bit didn’t stop there.
> He fired his shot cannon and blew Isaac’s shot cannon off. The two Ligers jumped
> away from each other and revealed how much damage each had taken. What was
> left of their armor had huge gashes and scorch marks on them. And the Liger’s
> themselves had sustained heavy damage.

Christina: By comparison, notice how Bit's fight with his arch enemy is a lot closer
a match then the one between Kevin and Zephyr. Bit and Isaac match each other
blow for blow, while Kevin basically walks all over his enemy. This says something,
but I'm not sure what.

> Zephyr and Kevin were about to charge again when the ground started to rumble.
> The Geno Breaker swung it’s head around.
> “What’s going on?” Zephyr asked, confused.
> “That’s the republic’s secret weapon.”
> “What is it?” Zephyr said with wonder. “It’s got to be pretty big if we can feel it
> before seeing it.”
> “It’s the King Gojulas. And yes it’s big. And it has more firepower than an
> Ultrasaurus.”
> “Impossible.”

Tasch: Yeah... its got 183 ZEP. An Ultra's only got aobut 100.
Tara: Of course, reports of King G's power have become exaggerated over the years... 

> “Nope. Look behind me.” The Two Zoids turned to look at the massive Zoid appearing
> on the horizon. Kevin and Zephyr caught site of the massive cannons that had been
> attached to the shoulders.

Tara [With a Japanese accent]: Run! It's Mechagodzilla!

> “What kind of guns are those?”
> “Those are the republic mega-cannons. They have as much power in one shot as the
> Ultrasaurus has in it’s four cannons.”
> “No way.”
> “Way.” The ground started rumbling even more.

Christina: Why does everyone in this fic talk like an over-excited twelve year old?
Sandra: I'd reply, but that's bashing the author... which is bad.

> “The Death Stinger I presume?” Kevin said, raising an eyebrow.
> “Bingo.”
> “Then the fight of the century is about to begin.”
> “For once Kevin, I must agree with you.”


> 17 - KG vs the Death Stinger

Tasch: Well this'll be over soon. One Death Scream an' its all over.
Sandra: Good. I could use a short chapter.

> Disclaimer:same as usual


> The King Gojulas and Death Stinger moved towards one another. The Death Stinger’s
> tail snapped into firing position and fired at the KG. The red horn on the KG’s head
> popped up and started to glow. When the particle beam hit, it fizzled out.

Sandra: ...forget it. This is going to turn stupid. Er.

> “What’s this?” Prozen asked in frustration.
> “It’s an ion shield. Got the idea from the Dark Spiner.” General Drack said confidently.
> “I can still use my other weapons on you.”
> “True, but you have to get by my weaponry first.” The mega-cannons on the KG’s
> shoulders fired a warning shot near the Death Stinger.

Christina: Why bother to warn him? If you're in a King Gojulas then he knows what's
coming. And aren't you two trying to kill each other?

> “Yes, I know, but my armor is as good as yours, if not better.”
> “We will see.” 

Sandra: Who's saying those last two lines?
Tasch: It makes a lotta difference. King G's a lot tougher then a Deathstinger.
Tara: Indeed. Puny bug go splat! Unless it tries usin' Heldy tactics on it and burrows, it's
doomed.
Christina: Unless he uses the Death Scream to just shatter the ground and crush it.
Tara: Point. Sucks to be you, Prozen Clone.

> The two Zoids fought each other, the Death Stinger showing an early advantage.
> Being that it was so much smaller than the KG, it could run circles around it without
> getting hurt.

Sandra: And THEN Drak used the Death Scream and the triple CPG to just level everything
In the area… and the Stinger.

> Not that it could completely escape getting damaged. The mega-cannons
> created a huge shockwave, throwing the Death Stinger around whenever the blast
> was anywhere near it. The Death Stinger fired on the KG creating a line of holes going
> up the left leg. The KG brought it’s tail around and smashed the Death Stinger.

Tara: ...Aaaaand the fight *should* end right there. SPLAT!

> The
> Death Stinger climbed up a building and fired off two small particle beams. The KG
> dodged the first one and used it’s ion shield to deal with the second beam. Prozen
> jumped at Drack and latched on to the right arm. Drack grabbed the Death Stinger
> and threw it. The Death Stinger landed on it’s feet a little distance away and braced
> itself.

Sandra: ...of course, any fight between a King G and a Deathstinger would be more
of a case of "Mind that bus, what bus, splat."
Tasch: Yeah. I mean, King Gojulas causes the ground to shake an' mountains to
crumble and leaves devastation in its wake an' stuff.
Sandra: You just like quoting the OJR Battle Story.
Tash: Dang tootin' right I do.

> Kevin and Zephyr watched in amazement. The two Zoids battled furiously. Kevin got
> an idea during the fight.

Tara: He was going to make the world's largest rubber band ball.

> “Hey Zephyr, you want to skip fighting me and help me deal with the Death Stinger?”

Sandra [Zephyr]: Let's see... I could be butt-raped by you or butt-raped by him. Big
choice.

> “Why the sudden 180?”
> “I’ve gotten tired of our little conflict with each other. I mean haven’t you?”
> “Yeah, I’ll admit I have. And to set the records straight, I didn’t kill your family.

Tasch [Zephyr]: Dingoes took them.

> My
> teammates did.”
> “Huh?” Kevin said in disbelief.
> “I stood by and served as lookout. I couldn’t bring myself to kill my best friends
> family.” Kevin’s jaw hit the floor. “Well that was unexpected.” Kevin said.
> “Who cares. Lets go get Isaac and Bit. Then we get the rest of your team.”
> “Right. And then the we give the Death Stinger hell!” Kevin said in agreement.

Tara: ...That's IT? All the antagonism between the two that's been building up over the
course of the story and it's just dropped in an instant!? That's stupid. Really, really
stupid. WORST. PLOT TWIST. EVER.

> After the group was assembled, Naomi couldn’t help but to say something about the
> condition of the four Zoids leading the group.

Tasch [Naomi]: You guys suck.

> “You guys sure you’ll be alright in your Zoids? They don’t look like they’ll last long.”
> “Don’t worry Naomi, they’ve still got plenty of fight left in them.” said Bit.

> The Death Stinger and KG had inflicted major amounts of damage on each other, but
> each was still up and fighting. Just before the two titans renewed their efforts to
> destroy each other, the Marauders, Zephyr, and Isaac, charged onto the battle field.
> “Need some help General?” Kevin asked Drack.

Tara [Drack]: Of course! I exist only to kiss up to you, Kevin.
Sandra [Zephyr]: I feel your pain.

> “You couldn’t have picked a better time.”
> “What about those two?” Drack said, the KG motioning to the Geno Breaker and Liger
> Zero X.
> “On our side.”
> “WHAT?!?!?!” Prozen’s voice boomed over the comm.

Sandra: We feel the same, mate.

> “That’s right Prozen.” Isaac said mockingly, “We’ve defected.”
> “Traitors. I’ll kill you all!” Prozen shouted, bringing the tail into firing position.
> “I don’t think so.” Leon charged the Death Stinger, closing half the distance from a near
> stop. He opened his Blade Ligers blades and barely missed taking the Death Stinger’s
> tail off.

Christina: Didn't I see that in Guardian Force?
Sandra: About a half dozen times.

> The armor on one segment of the tail fell off however. Kevin hovered in front of
> the Death Stinger and engaged his ion shield as soon as the Death Stinger fired. The
> beam fizzled out and Prozen growled in anger.
> “This battle shall end hear and now.” 
> “I agree whole heartedly Prozen.” Kevin replied. Prozen smiled and burrowed under
> ground.
> “Where’d he go?” Brad said, looking around.

Tasch: Now! Use the Death Scream to cave in the ground an' bury him!

> Prozen resurfaced where his enemies couldn’t see him. He brought the Death Stinger’s
> tail into firing position and got a charge ready.

> Jamie flew around the city and found Prozen.
> “He’s five blocks to you left Kevin!”
> “Everyone get out of here! He’s going to fire a blast at full power!”

Christina: Um, what happened to the King Gojulas's super contrived energy beam
absorbing horn, can I ask?
Sandra: It fell into a plot hole, along with the rest of the King G, apparently.
Christina: This whole fic is a plot hole.

> “But what about you?” Leena asked worriedly. The Geno Breaker walked up to the
> Gun Sniper Nightmare.
> “Don’t worry Leena. I don’t like it either, but something tells me that Kevin has to do
> this alone.”

Sandra: Because there's no way at all that anyone other then Big Kev could do anything
at all in this fic.
Tasch [Isaac]: Hey, now that we've changed sides, can we help y'all?
Christina [Zephyr]: Yes, I wish to make a selfless and heroic sacrifice to atone for all
the evil I've done.
Tara [Kevin]: Piss off, you two Banana Oils.

> “Alright.”

> “You ready Siege?”
> “Ready as I’ll ever be.” he growled.
> “Then lets get ready for it.” The Spiner leaned forward and raised it’s sail.



> 18 - Dark Spiner vs the Death Stinger

> Disclaimer:still the same


> Everyone except Kevin made their way out of the immediate area. Leena looked back
> at the shrinking Spiner.
> “Good luck.” she whispered.

Sandra [Leena]: And, if you don't make it back...
Christina [Kevin]: Yes?
Sandra [Leena]: Can I have your stuff?

> “Alright Siege, you ready?”
> “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
> “Then lets do it.”

Tara [Siege]: What? Here? Now? I was hoping to wait for my wedding night.

> Kevin leaned the Spiner forward and prepared to use his charged particle gun. Except
> there was going to be one difference.

Tasch: He was gonna say everything in French!

> “Switch the shoulder cannons over Siege.”
> “Done.”
> “Bring power from everything except life support and send it to the guns.”
> “Done.”
> “Link the shoulder cannons to the guns on the sail.”
> “Done.”
> “Prepare charge.”
> “Preparing charge.”

Sandra: Inserting the intensifier disk... turning the control wheel eighteen degrees to
the left...

> Prozen looked at his view screen in amusement.
> “Does he really think he can compete with the Death Stinger. He must have gone mad.
> Even though this isn’t the original, it has more power than the Death Saurer. He has
> no chance.”

Tasch: You have no chance to survive, make your time. Ha ha ha.

> He glanced at his radar and saw a mass of republican Zoids.
> “Before I deal with him, I’m going to have some fun.”

> The Death Stinger fired it’s charged particle gun at the large group of republican Zoids
> that had amassed at the entrance to the city. The Zoids disappeared in a raging
> inferno. The KG took up position and open fire on the Death Stinger. Prozen shook his
> head. At that range, the KG could do little.

Chrstina: Except for, say, obliterating it with the Death Scream... or those 'Supermega
cannons' of yours.
Sandra: Or it could bellyflop it and crush it like an Evil Pegasus. Just a thought.

> He fired again and destroyed a group of
> Gojulas.

Sandra: So, um, Kev, why not try using the omnipotent Ionisation array to stop him
while the other members of your team blast the living carpet out of him?
Tara: I don't think the idea even vaguely occurred to him.
Sandra: Any more then it occurred to Prozen to blast him while he's immobile and
charging up and thus can't use the Ionisation array?
Tara: I'd say so.

> “Siege, how much longer until the charge is complete?”
> “One minute, 30 seconds.”
> “Be ready.”

> Prozen looked back at the shot of the Dark Spiner and his eyes widened. He saw
> three points of energy on the Spiner, instead of one.

Tara: ...It's got THREE CPCs now? *Snerk* The author sure likes pulling things out of his
rear.
Sandra: Maybe he should pull his head out while he's there.
Tasch: I wonder if he remembered that Zephyr took one of those guns off earlier...
Christina: He did [Looks up] Hey, he did! This fic is internally inconsistent!

> “What the hell did he do?”
> He turned his attention fully to the Dark Spiner. He aimed and got ready to fire.

> “Siege, Prozen’s getting ready to fire.”
> “Charge complete.”
> “Don’t fire until he does.”

Tasch: I can poke holes all over yer logic... but you ain't gonna listen.
Sandra: Now that's scary.

> Prozen opened a comm channel to Kevin.
> “Ready to die?”
> “I should ask you the same question.”
> “Cocky punk. Your puny Zoid stands no chance against the power of the Death Stinger.”

Sandra: Never, ever say anything like that. It means you're about to die.

> “Oh really?”

> Prozen frowned, and closed the comm channel. He fired his particle beam. Kevin fired
> his three particle beams at the Death Stinger’s one. The two beams collided and the
> Death Stinger’s was immediately pushed back.

Christina: ...there goes any semblance of the laws of physics. Particle beams are 99%
light with negligible mass. If two of them collided, they would just pass straight through
each other with no effect at all.
Sandra: Damn, this is all reading like a DBZ episode.
Tasch: Any one in particular?
Sandra: Uh, all of them.
Tara: Guess how many Super Sayans it'd take to screw in a lightbulb?
Sandra: Just one, but it'd take him about twenty episodes to do it.
Tara: Damn. You've heard that one before.

> “How can you have this kind of power?”

Sandra: Through the miracles of cheese!

> “It’s simple,” Kevin said, his voice shaking form the vibration of the Spiner. “My
> organoid is merged with the Zoid, and I’ve got three beams instead of one.”

Tara: A sheer impossibility, as there's no way for the Spiner's machine guns to fire a CPC.
A charged particle cannon requires an electrical charge to speed particles to the speed of
light. For that, you need particle generators. The Spiner has no particle generators in its
machine guns, unlike the Fury, who has charged particle generators in its claws, allowing
it to combine them into one super powerful beam. Of course, when cheese-a-noids are
involved, any WTF inspiring, magical, contrived thing can happen.

> “That may be, but you won’t win.”
> “We’ll see.” Kevin closed the comm channel and turned his attention back to his Zoid.

> “How much longer can we keep this up Siege?”
> “Five minutes at least, eight at most.”
> “Longer than I expected. Well, lets not wait and find out. Increase power.” Kevin held
> on to the controls as tightly as he could. If he didn’t, he would’ve been thrown around
> the cockpit.

Sandra: ...which is the perfect time for the rest of the characters to attack the Death
Stinger and completely tool it over, right?

[Crickets chirp]

Sandra: Never mind. Damn it, I fought a Death Stinger without having to resort to
script immunity. Stop making fun of me!

> Prozen was having major problems. The Death Stinger was falling apart from the
> inside out. Circuitry, servos, and other essential components had began melting.
> The Death Stinger wasn’t going to last much longer.

Christina [Scotty]: The engines! They canna take the strain!

> “How can he have that much power?” he murmured, looking at the Spiner’s particle
> beam, which had grown closer to the Death Stinger.

Tara: ...This is so DBZ, its not funny. Why couldn't he have written a DBZ fic instead?
Tasch: You mean he didn't?
Tara: I'm beginnign to wonder that myself.

> He was about to increase his
> beams power when an alarm went off. The main servo in the tail was failing. He
> looked at the screen and cringed. The tail was bending more each second. 

Vic: It’s going limp. *snerk*

> “Siege, the main servo in the Death Stinger’s tail is failing, increase power.”
> “Time to finish this.” The Dark Spiner increased power. The Death Stinger was
> blown away instantly.

Tara: So that's it? You just press a magical "increase power now" button and its all
over? Is that the best you can do for an ending?
Christina: Why not? It works all the time for Voyager.

> 19 - Its not Over Yet

> Disclaimer:still the same

Christina: These chapters are all the same.


> The Dark Spiner increased the power of it’s particle beams yet again, vaporizing the
> Death Stinger. Prozen had opened a comm channel to Kevin just before he died,
> and Kevin ended up watching him die. Kevin turned away from the vid link, almost
> throwing up.

Sandra: Ah ya big wuss. Just change channel.

> The Dark Spiner’s particle beams had destroyed everything in their path. A huge
> trench was carved into the planet itself. The side building behind the Spiner had
> been pushed in from the particle gun’s backwash. Kevin did a systems check and
> found that almost everything had failed.

Tasch: Heck, even the thing that tells you what's damaged is broken.
Tara: Yeah, yeah, Spiner's broken and repairable. He SHOULD be dead.
Christina: He should have been dead a long time ago.
Tara: Well... YEAH!

> About the only thing the Spiner could do
> was open it’s cockpit and walk. Kevin fell back in his chair and sighed.

> “Well, it’s finally over.”

Sandra: ...never say that either. I mean it.

> “Nice work Kevin!” came Leena’s voice over the comm. Kevin looked at the vid link.
> The picture was broken and was filled with static. ‘Just another thing to repair.’
> Kevin mussed. 

Tara: Trust me, after something like this, it'd be "bullet in the head" time for ol' Spiney.

> “Thanks Leena.” Kevin said, seeing his comrades walk over to him. Everyone’s Zoid
> had sustained heavy damage. Kevin smiled at the thought of finally getting some
> peace and quiet, when the Spiner was rocked by a blast that hit the building next
> to him. Kevin looked around and saw a Zaber Fang standing in the street. 11 more
> walked out from behind the buildings.

Sandra: ...and now for some more random fights.
Christina: This is like 'Dark Queen of Krynn'. An incredibly anticlimactic 'final battle'
followed by several more incredibly drawn out fights that serve no purpose other
then to annoy you.
Sandra: So what comes after that?
Christina: A very badly rendered animation, and the game ends.
Sandra: ...I can buy that.
Christina: Roll on cheese nutball.

> “You are going no where.” said the lead Zaber pilot.
> “We’ll see about that.” said Jamie. He and Pierce flew over head, destroying one
> of the Zaber Fangs.
> “What took you guys so long?” Bit asked.

Tasch [Pierce]: We didn't think we were needed fer this scene.
Tara [Jamie]: Besides, Pierce was too busy making out with a Ninja behind the couch.
Kang: Hey! We were not!

> “We got tied up with some Black Redlers.”
> “We don’t plan on staying.” Leena said to the lead Zaber pilot. Nightmare ran
> towards the Zaber Fang, multiple images of the Nightmare appearing suddenly.
> Kevin’s jaw dropped.
> “How are you doing that?”
> “One of Nightmare’s abilities.”

Sandra [Kevin]: Um, here's some more random BS for this chapter. I'm not even trying
to be serious any more.
Christina: Of course, one can only wonder what's the point of adding this new
development at such a late stage in the plot.

> “Oh. Anyways, we’ve got some Zaber Fangs to deal with people.”
> “Right.” everyone said in unison. 

Tara: Remember? Evil Pointy kitties?

> Everyone started weaving in and out of the buildings, engaging the Zaber Fangs.
> After a few minutes, it was apparent that they were outnumbered.
> “What do we do now?” Brad asked no one in particular.

Tasch: You play the saxophone?

> “I don’t know.” Isaac said.
> “We fight, and try and take some of them with us.”
> “You think that’s what it’s come to Kevin?” Zephyr asked.

Tara [Kevin]: I can't see that there's any chance of us surviving this...
Christina [Zephyr]: I love you, sarge.
Tara [Kevin]: I know. I feel the same.
Sandra [Leena]: While we're being frank, there's something I need to tell you, Kevin.
Tara [Kevin]: Which is, Leena dear?
Sandra [Leena]: I've been sleeping with Harry all along, and never loved you. I've drained
you bank account, spending it all on shiney things. I had Seige spayed, and sold the bits
they chopped off to science. Oh, and I killed your parents, not the Backdraft.
Tara [Kevin]: Well I guess it can't get worse.
[Tasch makes murmuring noises]
Tara [Kevin]: Seige! How could you?

> “I don’t see any other way.”
> “I still have my charged particle gun.”
> “Use it!”
> “Right.”

> Zephyr got the Geno Breaker in the air and started to charge his particle gun.
> “FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!” shouted Zephyr just before he fired. All the Zaber Fangs on he
> had aimed at were destroyed. The problem was, almost twice as many appeared to
> replace those destroyed.

Tara: Aaah! Self-replicating Zoids!
Christina: I'm surprised that Kevin didn't trash Zephyr's CPG earlier.

> “This is not good.” Zephyr said as he landed.
> “Well, that won’t work. Looks like we fight them.”
> “I hate to say it, but I agree with Kevin.” said Leena.
> “Then lets do it!” Bit said, tackling the nearest Zaber Fang.

Christina [Pilot]: Can I help you ther- aaaaah!

> The Marauders were fighting increasingly overwhelming numbers, and they were
> gradually losing. Naomi had been knocked out while trying to get on top of a
> building and Jamie had been shot down by a stray blast.

Sandra: Leon had left because of 'creative differences' with Kevin, and Brad got a better
offer from another company.

> Kevin was having a hard
> time doing anything because of the amount of damage done to the Spiner. Kevin
> was tackled by a Zaber and thought it was over when he saw the Zaber standing
> over him. Just as the Zaber Fang was about to destroy the Spiner, it was blown
> apart.

Tara: Awww! Damn! And just when I thought some un-kewlzies Zoid was gonna take
down Godboy...
Sandra: Zaber Fang is about 50% Kewlizes. Remember, Joyce piloted one.

> Kevin looked up and saw a large group of Command Wolves approaching.
> There were a good amount of Shield Liger’s among them too. The Zoids started
> tearing apart the Zaber Fangs. Kevin felt the ground shake and looked at his
> radar. Three Gojulas were inbound.

Sandra: Look, its a handy Deus Ex Machina here to save the day.

> “Looks like we can take it easy now.” Kevin said, addressing his team.
> “Finally.” Leena said. “I’m exhausted.” 

Sandra: Our work here is done, little buddy.
Tasch: But wait! What about the gratuitous blowing up of the local filling station?

> Kevin and co. were standing outside the Hover Cargo. They were watching their Zoids
> being loaded on to the Hover Cargo.
> “How long do you think it’ll take to repair the Zoids?”
> “Don’t know. Hey Isaac, where’s your Liger’s other armor unit?”

Christina [Isaac]: I pawned it to buy beer.

> “It’s in the Whale King Zephyr and I use to get around. We’ll show you where it is
> later.”

Tasch: Doncha hate it when y’all leave yer CAS in the other car?

> “Fine.”
> Kevin was about to put his arm around Leena when Harry ran over and shoved him
> out of the way. Harry started his pointless rambling, trying to get Leena to dump Kevin
> and go out on a date with him. Siege walked over and smacked Harry away with
> his tail. Harry got up and started cursing at the organoid. Siege merely snorted in
> Harry’s face. Harry shoved Siege out of the way and tried again to woo Leena.
> Kevin had had just about enough of this. He got up and walked up behind Harry.
> “Harry, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” he said nonchalantly.
> Harry turned around expecting Kevin to say he’d give Leena up. Instead, Kevin
> punched him square in the face. He fell to the ground, unconscious.

Tasch: Oh, and thanks for saving my life back there.
Sandra: Maybe that’s why he punched Harry out. He couldn't stand the idea of
someone helping him out.
Christina: Doesn't Leena get a say in this?
Tara: Did she ever?

> “Feel better now?” Pierce asked. Kevin nodded.
> “You guys have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
> “How long?” Bit asked.
> “Since the first day I met him.” Doc whistled.
> “That was about three and a half years ago.”
> “Now that’s self control.” Leon said mockingly. They all shared a much needed laugh.

Sandra: Ha ha! Unprovoked assault is funny!
Tara: Indeed, it is! [Slaps Jake upside the head]
Jake: Ow!
Tara: Heeeeeeeeheheheheeeeheheeeee... XD


> 20 - Finally a Happy Ending

> Disclaimer:the usual


> The war had finally ended. After three long years, things were back to normal.

Tara: It feels like three years since the fic started.
Tasch: I think some of this popcorn has expired.

> The
> Marauders were attending the celebration that was being held in honor of the
> republic’s victory and the return of the former imperial emperor. Kevin, Leena and
> Zephyr were standing off to one side.

Christina: There were some other people as well, but they're not important at all.
Tasch: But what about the catering? The catering's real important.

> “You two really think I should be here?” Zephyr asked, looking around. Kevin took
> a sip of his drink and threw his tux coat onto the nearest chair. 

Christina: Sure! Just so long as you report back to the warden afterwards.

> “I don’t see why not, you did help win the war.”
> “How’s that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
> “You turned on your own men and defied your leader.”

Sandra: It’s not like he made any difference. All he did was spare Big Kev the effort
of tooling him around some more.

> said Leena, adjusting her
> slightly tight fitting dress. Zephyr thought about Leena’s statement for a moment.
> “Guess you’re right.” He said finally, taking a sip of his drink.

> As the night progressed, Kevin tried very hard to keep from getting drunk. Zephyr,
> Bit, Brad, and Isaac had all challenged Kevin to drinking contests. Consecutively.

Tasch: Is he gonna add 'worlds best drinker' to his list of skills? 'cause that'd be even
sillier then usual.

> Leon had come over and was about to challenge him and Kevin had to decline.
> His answer was slightly slurred, and it caused everyone to laugh. Leena helped
> him up and Kevin managed to stand by himself, after a minute. Leena giggled at
> Siege’s attempts to stand. Because of his link to Kevin, he was going through the
> same thing Kevin was. Except he was having much more trouble standing.

Sandra: Now get him to fuse with the Dark Spiner. This should be a laugh.
Christina: I don't remember the bond between pilots and their organoids being
anywhere near this strong in the show.
Tara: Shh... this is actually fun for once. I wanna see Seige barf all over the place.

> “I think it’s time I take the two of you home.” she said, smiling. 
> “I agree.” Kevin said. He turned to Siege to tell him it was time to leave and fell on
> the floor laughing at his attempts to get up.

Tara: Damn... for once , I'm actually liking this fic. Probably Because gord boy is making
an arse of himself and its not the way he usually does.

> “Shut up, it’s your fault I’m like this.” he grumbled. Kevin got back up and wobbled
> a little.
> “Leena, I think I’ll be able to walk out of here, but I think you should help Siege.”
> She laughed.
> “I think I need to help both of you out of here.” Bit walked over to Kevin and slapped
> him on the shoulder.
> “See you tomorrow pal.” he said, his speech incredibly slurred. Kevin saw he was
> holding a shot glass in his hand. He snatched it.

Tara: Give me that! I need it more! [Reaches for their shot glass]

> “I’m cutting you off Bit.”
> “But...” Kevin emptied the shot glass in one gulp and then handed it back to Bit.

Sandra [Kevin, slurred]: I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

> “See you tomorrow guys.” He said, slapping Bit on the shoulder. Leena helped Kevin
> and Siege walk out of the party hall, leaving their friends behind them, laughing.

Tasch: While James Bond leaves via the roof, the guys shootin' at him.
Christina [Prozen]: Curse you, mister Bond! I'll get you for this!

> “Well, that was fun.” Kevin said, sitting in the passenger side of the Convertible he
> had bought Leena. 
> “Yes it was, especially watching you and Siege try and get up.”
> “Oh, come on Leena.” Kevin said, giving her a playful shove. Leena returned the
> shove

Christina: Throwing him out of the car and driving off without him.

> and drove the three of them home.

> The next day, everyone had gathered at the Toros base to discuss what they would
> do next.

Christina [Brad]: I'm going to Disneyland.

> Jamie, Pierce, and Doc decided they would reopen the training center the had
> run before the war. That gave Kevin an idea.
> “Doc, why don’t we all work at the training center.”

Sandra: Guaranteeing traumas for the next generation of Zoid pilots.
Tara [Doc Toros]: You too could be a great Zoid pilot, like this!
Tasch [Bit]: What was that Liger? You think it would be a good idea to steal Leena's
cookies?
Sandra [Leena]: I CRUSH YOUR HEAD!
Tara [Jamie]: My sweet, sweet Raynos is the only one who understands me.
Tasch [Leon]: All these people have unlimited potential, as do you.
Christina: Mummy! Take me away from the scary people!

> “Go on.” Doc replied.
> “What about my business?” Leon asked.
> “Just moved it to the training center. We’ll rebuild it. You can have your business’s
> headquarters there. That way you could still run your business and train rookies at
> the same time.”
> “I like the idea. Bit?”
> “Definitely. This way we’ll get to run the business and not totally give up battling.”
> “Count Naomi and I in.” said Brad.
> “Done. What about you two?” Kevin said, looking at Zephyr and Isaac. The two of
> them looked at each other.

Sandra [Zephyr]: I'm faking my own death and entering into witness protection.
Chrsitina [Isaac]: I'm being disowned.

> “I guess I’m in.” said Zephyr.
> “And what about you bro?” Bit asked Isaac.
> “Why not. I’m tired of fighting like I did, but I don’t want to really stop fighting.”
> “Then it’s settled.” Doc said. “The training center shall be rebuilt and we’ll all work
> there.”

Tara: And they all lived happily ever after in a big old house on the hill.

> Kevin smiled inwardly. He was glad everyone accepted his idea.

Sandra [Kevin]: If they didn’t, I would have had to bend all their wills to follow me
some more.

> There was one
> thing he didn’t tell everyone. There was one more person he’d like to ask to join
> them.

Tasch: Vareth! [They all look at her] Well, it could be.

> But that can wait. He turned to Leena and whispered a question. She
> agreed with Kevin. Kevin took a deep breath and said it.
> “Everyone, Leena and I have set a date for our wedding.”

Sandra: They just needed to finish up the details of the pre-nuptial. It’s got a clause
that states that Leena gets everything in the advent of Kevin being crushed to death
by a bathtub.

> Two days before the wedding, Harry found out. The result was all hell broke loose.
> He wouldn’t leave Kevin and Leena alone. He kept threatening Kevin and trying to
> win Leena over. Leena just ignored him, but Kevin wasn’t fairing as well. Harry was
> starting to wear on Kevin’s temper. The day before the wedding, Kevin lost it.

Tasch: He lost a wedding? Well that was very stupid of him.

> Kevin
> and Leena had been out making the final arrangements, and Harry had found the
> two of them. He knocked Kevin out of the way and tried winning Leena over again.
> Leena slapped him in the face. Harry looked like he had been shot. When he turned
> to leave, he came face to face with Kevin. His Pupils where almost invisible. Harry
> took two steps back and Kevin let loose his rage. The result was that Harry would
> be in the hospital for three weeks.

Sandra: Ha ha! Grievous bodily harm is funny!
Tara: HA HA HA HA HA! Look, he's hurt!
Christina: Of course, when the cops came and arrested Kevin at the chapel, it wasn't
anywhere near as amusing.

> Two hours later...
> “Feel better now Kev?” Leena asked him playfully.
> “Yes, I feel much better. But you’d think he’d have a glass jaw with the amount of
> talking he does.” He said rubbing his knuckles. Leena laughed.
> “Well, after today, I don’t think he’ll be bothering us like that anymore.”
> “For his sake, I hope so.” Kevin said, giving her a kiss.

> The next day...

Tara: It wasn't that Leena found Kevin in bed with someone else after the stag party.
It wasn't that she found him with two other people. It was the fact that they were
Isaac and Zephyr that really pissed her off.
Sandra: I guessed they really are his bitches after all.

> Kevin was standing at the altar, sweating bullets. Brad leaned over.
> “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” he whispered.
> “You say that now. Just wait until your wedding.” This caused Brad to stop and think
> for a moment.

Christina [Brad]: Ain't ever gonna happen.

> “Guess you’re right.” Kevin looked over at Naomi, who was serving as Leena’s brides
> maid.

Sandra: Leena made Naomi her bridesmaid? this *IS* OOC!

> She winked at him and Brad. Kevin felt a little relieved and Brad blushed. Kevin
> turned and looked at the entrance.

> The doors opened and everyone watched as Doc brought Leena in. Kevin was
> surprised at how beautiful Leena looked in the dress. Naomi had told him about it,
> but he still wasn’t ready for it. It wasn’t a flowing dress, and it showed an acceptable
> amount of Leena’s cleavage. Kevin glanced around quickly. Almost every man in the
> audience was gawking.

Sandra [Leena]: What? You dare ogle the great Leena Toros on her wedding day?
WA-TAK! [dingdingdingdingdingding]
Tara [Kevin]: My life... total pain... end it now... please god...
Tasch: I sense something... a feelin' I've not felt in a long time.

[A woman in a form-fitting jumpsuit with long black hair tied into a braid and a cybernetic
arm walks past]

> He smiled inwardly. ‘Won’t Leena be surprised when she
> sees the video.’ The dress was white, with blue accents. Kevin considered her to
> be the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

> Leena looked up the isle at her husband to be. His tuxedo was navy blue, though
> it looked black. Kevin always liked to trick people. His gun was hanging in it’s
> normal spot, and it only gave him an even more dashing look.

Tara: Great. Even at his wedding, he can't let up with the macho posturing.
Christina: Wearing a gun at the ceremony may work in the Caucuses-
Sandra: In fact, it’s probably a good idea.
Christina: -but in a civilized wedding, it makes you look like a dick.

> He was holding his
> hands behind his back, trying his best to look calm, but he wasn’t fooling Leena.
> But she had to admit to herself, she was nervous to. But he was definitely worth it.


> The two exchanged there vows and kissed one another. Everyone in the crowd
> clapped. Kevin scooped Leena up and looked at her.
> “You know how upset Harry’s going to be now?” he asked mockingly.

Sandra [Harry as Mr P]: Very, very NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tasch: Nice Darth Vader there.
Sandra: …damn.

> “Oh who cares. I know I don’t.” she said.
> “Glad to hear it.”

> Kevin carried her out of the church and set her down in the passenger side of her
> convertible.
> “Hey, it’s my car. I should drive.”
> “Not this time dear. Let me drive.” Kevin said revving the engine.
> “You just want to see how fast this thing goes.” Leena said, smiling

Tara: It goes almost as fast as Kevin in the sack.

> “So?” Kevin asked innocently. Leena laughed.
> “Just drive.” Kevin hit the gas and they were off.
> “And so our life together begins.” Kevin said.
> “So it does.” Leena said, kissing Kevin.

Sandra: Three days later, Kevin's body was found by the side of the road. Cause
of death was blunt impact trauma to the skull, probably caused by a metal
bathtub. Police have ruled out foul play.
Christina: Dark?
Sandra: I've earned it.
Tara: Yay! It's finally over! [Flicks one final cigarette butt at fic, stumbles off]

[The others stand and follow her]

*****

The four of them stumbled out of the theatre. "Well..." Tasch began.

"Well..." Christina added.

"What the frellnuts was that?" Sandra asked.

"A fanfic?" Tasch offered.

"A very bad one." Tara replied. "I mean, I used to write fics myself. And a lot of them
were bad. But none of them were that bad."

"I don't read much fiction, fan or otherwise." Sandra commented. "But I know a frelled
up mess when I read one."

"It did seem rather bad." Christina began. "I mean, the 'Kevin' character was incredibly
odious in both his omnipresence and inflation of abilities. He had to be the best at
everything, and had to be the center of everything. That alone made it rather painful
to read."

"Yeah, Mary sues like that are always a pain." Tara began as she lit up again. "Kev
here is that most annoying of types, the all-mighty god boy who can do everything.
Doesn't help that he turned it into a generic post NC0 d00m fic."

"Do those happen a lot?" Christina asked.

"Damn right." She took a drag on the cigarette. "And in a d00m fic, there's just that
many more opportunities for a godboy to show off. And the fact that he was using
a Zoid with no canon appearances gives him more license to do whatever he wants."

"I bet he was one of those mailbox heads who whined that the Dark Assassins'
Zoids 'weren't powerful enough' in Fuzors." Sandra muttered.

"Yeah, I can see that." Tara muttered. "Damn Zombie Kids."

"Ah, fuggedaboutit, guys." Tasch offered. "The fics over now, an' we can leave.

"Yeah." Sandra muttered. "No more frelling omnipotent Ionisation array ever. Whee."

Tara eyed her. "You sure that wouldn't work? I mean, the Spiner's Array is meant to
be pretty good..."

"I know it won't." Christina replied.

"Still..." Sandra began. "Hm... I'm getting an idea." She indicated to the service exit.
"I think I know a way we can resolve this little issue."

*****

"What in the heck are you guys doing?" Tasch asked. Sandra and Tara were standing
around the edge of a small arena, looking down at what was below.

"Tara didn't believe me that an Ionisation array wouldn't be any use against a charged
particle cannon." Sandra began. "So Christina and I rigged up a demonstration."

"You're only doing this just because you can't stand to be wrong." Tara began, taking a
drag of her cigarette.

"Well, yeah." Sandra said. "But I think its an interesting point to prove."

The gate at one end of the arena opened, a regular black and purple Genosaurer
walking in. "Okay, guys, I'm ready to go." Christina began, her voice booming over
the Genosaurer's PA system.

"Cool beans." Sandra replied. "Right guys, bring in the test dummy."

The gate at the other end opened, a green Dark Spiner walking in, letting out a rather
strange warbling howl. The Zoid stopped by the gate. "Oh, you're gonna get it to be
CPGed." Tasch began. "So who's gonna be pilotin' it. I mean, its a very tough job,
y'know. You gotta stand there and get whacked like a goomba with a CPG and all."

"We found someone appropriate for the job." Tara replied. "You ready to go down
there?"

"Damn right!" The voice of the pilot shouted back. "I'm gonna lay waste to her with
one blast from my charged particle cannon!"

"Dark Spiner doesn't have a CPG, you banana oil!" Tara yelled, then flicked her
cigarette butt at the Spiner.

"Clarence, stop being a tool and activate the Ionisation array." Sandra added.

The Dark Spiner's body tilted forwards, its back fin folding upwards while its foot clamps
deployed. At the same time, Christina's Genosauruer deployed its foot clamps, while the
tail locked in place, vents deploying form its upper and lower sides. The Dark Spiner's fin
began waving back and forth with electricity crackling over it, while the weapon barrel
in the Genosaurer's mouth began to glow with energy.

"Y'all sure this is safe?" Tasch asked.

"More or less." Sandra replied.

"You ready, Christina?" Tara yelled out.

"Yes!"

"And are you ready Clarence?"

"Bring it on!" He replied, confidently.

The Genosaurer's cannon fired, the beam flying straight at the Dark Spiner. The shot
blasted straight through the sails, tearing them apart and then blowing off the
Spiner's upwards-jutting tail. Unbalanced, the Spiner tipped forwards and crashed to
the ground flat on its face.

"See? I win." Sandra grinned broadly. "And I'm always right."

"Yeah, yeah." Tara muttered. "I owe you a dinner."

"Y'all okay in there?" Tash asked, looking down at the crippled Dark Spiner.

"mY liFe iS paAin!" Clarence moaned.

"That's about normal for him, I guess." Sandra commented. "He's well used to explosions.
The irony is that he's usually in a Genosaurer... and its the one that explodes."

Christina walked over to the three of them. "I knew that would work." She began to
Sandra. "We didn't need to blow him up to prove it."

"I know." Sandra replied. "But it was kind of fun."

"Well, true." Tara admitted.

"i hAve feEt..." Clarence muttered. "jaAm..."

"So care to explain the logic of it?" Tara asked.

"Well, the ionisation array works by ionising the air around the Spiner, hence the name."
Christina explained. "The result is that it deflects away most energy beams which have
a neutral charge. But a charged particle cannon works by having either a positive or
negative charge. It generates its own charged particle field, which has no effect on the
charged particle beam."

There was a pause.

"Or something to that effect." Christina finished.

"So in other words, if Godboy had tried to do his little trick against a Genobreaker, he'd
be crispy critter." Tara finished. "That makes sense."

"An' against a Death Stinger, well... it ain't gonna work at all." Tasch offered. "'cause a
Deathstinger, well, it’s far more powerful."

"So, from this we've learned that Kevin would have died a horrible, screaming death."
Tara considered this. "All together, not too bad an idea."

"You're very mean." Christina began.

"...I like you." Sandra added.

Tara grinned in reply. "So, what say we blow this pop stand and find us a bite to eat?

*****

A pair of Ominous Figures (You know the type, vague, shadowy ones who watch things
and say vaguely sinister things, then comment on how events are going. Yeah, that
type.) watched the four of them walk out of the arena, leaving the smoking wreckage
of the Dark Spiner behind them.

"An interesting start." One of them commented. "Let us see what happens next."

*****

MSTed by Rick, Steve and Zogster

Sandra Blackmore and Tasch Stoermer were created by Rick R.
Tara Squamata was created by Steve
Christina McCade was created by Zogster

The other characters there were created by us, but we're too lazy to go through and
check exactly who appeared. The only exception is Vergamin the Pantsless Assinane,
who was created by Vergamin. Gord bless his panstless soul.

*****

> Kevin turned around to see a plant sitting near a door they walked by. The thing
> was it hadn’t been there when they walked by.