Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MSTing number 77 (or so) brings us back to the Waff-a-licious Good Life series. Now that Isamu's alive (again) things can only get goofier. Evangelion is copyright Gainax. Evangelion: The Good life is copyright smart_chick00@yahoo.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette. A cardboard box sits by the bench, with the tattered remains of a plastic Christmas tree and pieces of tinsel sticking out.] [Tango and Rebecca are sitting on the forwards-facing couch, with Tsuneo and Dan on the sideways couch.] Tsuneo: Okay, how about this one? [He shows a card to Tango] Tango: Um... Watermelon. Tsuneo: Okay, how about this? [He holds up another card] Tango: Frost free fridge. Dan: [Holds up a card] And this? Tango: Um... A roll-top desk. Rebecca: Good so far. Tsuneo: Next up... [Holds up a card] Tango: Unh... AACK! Evil! Kill them! Kill them all! [Rebecca pulls a mallet out from behind the couch and hit Tango over the head with it] Tango: I'm fine now, thank you. Dan: Right. What was that one? Tsuneo: A mailbox. Voice: Good morning all. Rebecca: Not now! Tsuneo: [Holds up a card] This? Tango: GHACK! No! Kill it! Burn! Where's my gun? Where's my- [Rebecca hits him with the mallet again] Tango: Thanks. Voice: Um... Can I ask what's happening? Tsuneo: We're trying to cure Tango through aversion therapy. Rebecca: We show him a picture card, and every time he flies off the rails, I hit him. Tango: I feel a bit flat, but mostly -eep- fine. Voice: I see. Is it working? Rebecca: Well, not really. Dan: So far we've found trouble spots to do with software companies, the US postal service and Asuka. Voice: How many flash cards could you have with Asuka on them? Rebecca: A worryingly high amount. Voice: I see. Tsuneo: OK... back to it. How about this? [He holds up a card] Tango: A Quati-Tiderium MDC-Deflection Array with Subspace Emitter. Tsuneo: [Looks at card] Huh? Rebecca: He's right, you know. Tsuneo: Fine. Dan, do the next one. Dan: Right. [Holds up a card] Tango: Sailor Moon's Panties. Dan: Really? Cool. Tsuneo: What the hell was that doing in there? Dan: And this? [Holds up a card] Tango: A Ball-peen hammer. Rebecca: Good boy. Dan: And this? [Holds up a card] Tango: The loot from Reservoir Dogs. Rebecca: Very good. Dan: And this? [Holds up a card] Tango: AAAGH! KILL IT! [He jumps on Dan and starts strangling him] Dan: AACK! Help! Rebecca: Oh, all right. [She gets up and hits Dan with the hammer] Dan: OW! Rebecca: Sorry, missed. [Hits Tango with a hammer] Tango: I'm fine, thankyou Susan. Voice: If you're all finished, I'd like to get on with the fic. Tsuneo: Must we? The therapy's going well so far. Voice: Yes. And today we're going to be watching the fifth chapter of Evangelion: The Good Life. Tango: AAGH! [Rebecca hits him with the hammer] I feel much better now. [The TV switches on] > New Comer...Again? > *Alarm goes off* Tango: We've got fanfic siiiign! > "Ah! We're gonna be late again!" Asuka jumps out of bed and bolts out > the door to the bathroom. Dan: And it's Asuka ahead by a nose, followed by Shinji, Isamu's pulling ahead, he's coming up to Shinji, he's coming up to Asuka, it's Isamu! > She stops when she sees everyone in the > kitchen eating breakfast, still wearing their pajamas. Tsuneo: Is this gonna be another stupid dream sequence? Dan: Hey, is Misato still in her bedwear? Tango: Misato has bedwear? Dan: I hope not. > "Hey? What's going on? Why aren't you guys ready for school?" Tsuneo: [Misato] I don't go to school. Rebecca: [Shinji] Well, we figure it'll just be more Second Impact jokes, so we can't be bothered. > "Uh, > Asuka, today's Sunday." Misato looks at her worriedly. "Oh, oh yea." > Asuka turns and heads back to her room to get some more sleep. Dan: [Asuka] Well I feel like a total idiot about now. Rebecca: Maybe it's just time to murder everyone in cold blood. > "Heh, oh that Asuka." Isamu sips his tea. Tango: [Isamu] I'd forgotten which Asuka we had. > "You guys planning to go anywhere today?" Tango: Well, I was planning on a trip to the moon, but it's nothing I can't cancel. > "I dunno. Shinji?" Isamu looks at him. Dan: [Shinji] Why are you looking at me? I don't have anything to do with this fic. > Shinji talks with toast in his mouth. "Uh, Rei, thou we should go to da > movie..." he swallows. Rebecca: "Thou we should go?" What is this, Neon Genesis Shakespeare? > "What do you think?" > "Sure. What are we gonna watch?" > "I don't know. We'll see when we get there." > "Yea, ok." Dan: Life is exciting enough for some people. > "Don't come back too late okay?" Misato starts to clean up the table. Rebecca: Never! Tango: I don't think she cleans it so much as hoses it down. > "Uh huh." They both say. Tsuneo: Who ever thought that living with your one and only true love would be so boring? > "Misato are you going to work today?" Shinji asks. Dan: [Misato] Gee, do I have to? Rebecca: Define "work." > "Uh huh, later though. Unless there's an angel attack..." Dan: [Misato] Whaddya know, there's one stomping the city right now. > She knocks on the table. "Heh heh, don't wanna jinx us now." > (Phone rings) They all look at it surprised. Tsuneo: Who would be calling at nine in the morning on Sunday? Rebecca: Probably Kaji. He's been up all night tending other people's melons. > "Maybe you should have knocked on the table a little more." Tango: Is anyone gonna answer that damn table? > Isamu gets up to answer the phone. Tsuneo: What's the bets he can maim himself getting the phone? > "Hello? Uh huh...yes, she's here. Misato." He hands the phone to her. Dan: It's not like anyone would want to talk to Isamu. > "Commander Katsuragi here. Rebecca: [Misato] At least I think it is. Let me check. [Pause] According to this, my name's Calvin Klein. Dan: [Shinji] Uh, Misato? That one's mine. > Yes, ok I understand. I'll be there right away." She hangs up the phone. > "What is it?" Shinji asks. > "Well, guess I'll be leaving earlier than I thought. You guys finish > cleaning up okay? Tsuneo: That's what I call a cop-out. Rebecca: [Misato] Shinji, you take the hose and Asuka can have the flamethrower. > I gotta get dressed and get to work." > "Why?" Shinji again asks. Tango: [Misato] Because if I show up in my pajamas again, they'll fire me. > "Don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen." Dan: [Misato] Please ignore the explosions. > She gives Shinji a reassuring smile and goes off to her room. Dan: [Shinji] Misato? Your room's the other way. Rebecca: [Misato] Aheh, I knew that. Tango: We're doomed. > Asuka then emerges from her room. (Yawns) "Is there anything to eat?" Tsuneo: There was, but you missed it. > "Yea, but I dunno if you get any." Isamu pulls the plate of toast > off the table and smiles at Asuka. Rebecca: [Asuka] If I don't get any, you don't "get" any. > "Ha ha." She grabs the plate from Isamu and slaps him playfully on the > arm. Tango: Then grabs the plate and smashes it over Isamu's head. > "Where's Misato going?" She asks. Tsuneo: Nowhere, fast. Rebecca: One word: Kaji. > "She's gotta go to work." Shinji gets up and puts his plate away > while answering her. Dan: That's what she calls it. > "Oh, how come so early?" Dan: It's only half-past eleven! Who's awake now? Rebecca: Dan, not everyone's like you. Thankfully. > "Who knows." Isamu sits down on the table and lays his head down. Tango: Ready for his execution? > "Hey! That's dirty." Asuka slaps Isamu's head. Dan: Who trusted Misato to do the cleaning? > "Ow!" Isamu sits up rubbing his head. Tsuneo: Is this comedy? Is this meant to be funny? > NERV > "Sir?" > "Commander, good to see you." > "Um, sir?" Misato was confused. > (Since when has Commander Ikari ever been happy to see me?) Rebecca: Since you started wearing the peep-hole bra and the miniskirt. Tango: He's grinning. You're all doomed. > "I've been informed that we'll be having a visitor." Tsuneo: [Gendo] So remember Misato, when the UN weapon's inspector arrives, please don't show him the Rei clones. > "Yes sir. Who is it?" > "A professor. She's actually known all over the world, Dan: Which is why we've never heard of her before. > her family name anyway. Otagi, have you ever heard of it?" Tsuneo: [Misato] Sounds like a random collection of syllables to me, sir. Rebecca: [Misato] Yeah, Kaji picked it up once in a stopover in Bangkok. > "Otagi...um, of yes, there family helped the military construct > weapons and other equipment." Tango: So she's world-renowned for working in a factory? > "Yes, their weapons helped win many wars." Dan: Any you care to mention? Tango: They invented to atomic banana peel, the nuclear-proof sewing machine, the intercontinental ballistic salami and the guided NAFI. > "So I've heard. Why is she coming down here?" Tsuneo: Let's think about this for five seconds. Maybe... To build new weapons! > "She's going to be doing some experiments with the Evas and the pilots. Rebecca: Anal probe. > She'll also be working on the defense weapons for NERV." > "That's great! When will she be arriving?" > "Tomorrow. Dan: [Misato] I'm glad you told me about this so far in advance. Tango: [Gendo] We're also expecting you to put her up. > I'm putting you in charge of helping her get around since > you're in charge of the pilots as well." Tsuneo: [Misato] As if I don't have enough to do around here already. Dan: [Gendo] That reminds me, have you finished my laundry and ironed all my shirts? > "Yes sir, I'd be glad too. What is her name sir?" > "Eva, Eva Otagi." > "Eva sir? Her name..." Tango: It's a blatant reference to her bizarre link with the EVAs. [They all stare at him] I'm just guessing. > "Yes, I know, strange isn't it?" Rebecca: Actually, it's a perfectly normal name. > "Yes, sir." > "Well, let's make her visit a pleasant one." Tango: Let's not let her be trodden on by the EVAs. Rebecca [Misato]: Does that mean I have to dress up in the Sailor Moon outfit again? Dan [Gendo]: Yes. And Ritsuko will dress as Mai Shiranui. > "Um, yes sir!" Dan: Yes, oh high and mighty toilet hog. > Misato stepped out of the office confused. Tango: And this is any different to usual because? Tsuneo: I ought to hit you. > "I've never seen him this happy before." All: ... Rebecca: I'm not going to even think about the implications of that. Tango: I guess the new Ritsuko clones have shipped. > "Kaji!" Misato turned to see him with a big smile on his face. Tsuneo: Watch it. He's probably try to sell you something. > "Makes you wonder what kind of a person this Professor Otagi is." Rebecca: I'm guessing an either an authour avatar or something close. > "Kaji!" > "What? I'm just saying..." > "I know what your saying." Misato glares at him. Tsuneo: What are you saying? Dan: He saying he's hoping she's that kind of woman. Tsuneo: What kind? Dan: The kind he wouldn't mind lending Misato to. If he gets to watch. Tsuneo: I oughta hit you. > "Ok, ok! I'll keep quiet. Well, I gotta go now. See ya later?" Tango: [Kaji] Gotta go! I've got vital slacking to get on with. Dan: [Kaji] Whoops, my mid-morning tea-break's almost over. I've got to get to my late-morning, pre-lunch break. > "Yeah, I guess. If I don't work late." He pecks her quickly on > the cheek and runs off. Rebecca: Kiss and run, the next big crime wave. > She watches after him smiling. > Next Day > Isamu yawns as he steps into the kitchen. He sees the note on the wall. Tsuneo: [Reading] If you ever want to see the penguin again... > (Morning Everyone! All: Good morning Misato. > Sorry, gotta work early today. Get breakfast and get > to school on time. Dan: Like they'd forget or something. Rebecca: This isn't DELTA Invasion. People do actually go to school. > Bye...Misato P.S. Go to NERV right away after school, important!) Tsuneo: If this is just another sync test... > Asuka walked out of her room dressed for school. Rebecca: Asuka, they're not going to let you in school dressed in that Nazi uniform. > "Shouldn't you get dressed? Tango: Gaah! Isamu naked! Bad mental image! Won't... go... away! > Oh, what's that?" Rebecca: [Asuka] It looks like a toothpick. > "Note from Misato. We gotta go to NERV later." Tsuneo: Something about an Angel, don't worry about it. > "Awww, why?" Dan: Odds on it's a sync test. You watch. Tango: They've got to go bow down before the new Avatar. You watch. > "I dunno, says here it's important." Asuka frowns. Dan: The note says it's an approaching angel. It's about 25 feet away, so we've got a while. > "But I wanted to go out or something." Tango: [Asuka] Stuff saving the world, I want to go get some ice cream! > "With who?" > "With you, duh!" Dan: [Isamu] Oh yeah, I forgot we were... Sorry. > "Ohhhh." He smiles and walk over to Asuka and gives her a soft kiss on > the cheek. "It's ok, we can go out later. Okay?" > "Urgh, fine." Rebecca: [Asuka] You are not impressing me, peasant. Dan: [Isamu] I'm sorry, master! Please don't hurt me! > "Haha. I gotta go get dressed." All: Thank you. > Isamu walk towards his room as Shinji steps out ready for school. Tsuneo: [Shinji] GAH! Isamu, what's wrong with you? > "Morning!" "Mor...(yawns)ning." Tango: [Yawning] He's about as interested in this fic as we are. > "We gotta go to NERV today Shinji, Tsuneo: Just to repeat the sole plot point so far. > so hope you don't have any plans." Dan: [Shinji] Aw gee, do we have to? I was hoping we could go watch Nascar racing. Tango: [Isamu] Well, Misato is driving tonight... > "Oh, ok." He pours himself a cup of tea. Rebecca: [Picard] Earl Grey. Hot. > "Want some?" > "Sure." They both sit down and drink their tea. Tsuneo: This is so intense. > NERV > (Yawns) "When exactly is she suppose to get here?" > "Be patient, what? Didn't get much sleep last night?" > "I got home at 1 and woke up at 5. You think 4 hours of sleep is enough?" Dan: Got home at one? Early night, was it? > "Haha, no wonder you look so bad..." Rebecca: [Misato] It's your fault, Ritsuko. You left me clamped to the bed. Tsuneo: I think it's meant to be Misato and Kaji. Rebecca: Once we get some clues, I'll agree. > "Excuse me?" > "Heh, uh nothing." Kaji rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Tango: [Kaji] Is she going to sink her fangs in again? > Misato glares at him. > "Hehe, you look great honey." He smiles. "Uh huh." > "Commander, our guest has arrived." Dan: She's really impressed by the reception committee. > "Finally!" Misato headed over to the landing area to see the plane land. Tsuneo: So she hasn't actually arrived yet, has she? Dan: Weeelll... No. > "So, did you get any info on this professor lady?" Kaji asked standing > next to Misato. Rebecca: [Misato] Depends, do you want anything except measurements? > "Not too much. She does most of her work in China, but whatever she does > there she's very popular for it." Rebecca: [Misato] I think she's the one that gave you that bout of Otagi. > "Guess so. And why is she coming here?" Dan: Gendo paid a lot. > "Oh, you don't know?" Tsuneo: Let's see... She's a weapons designer. You blow up Angels. Figure it. > "Nope." > "She's coming down to help with the military equipment." > "Ohhh." Kaji nods in understanding. Tango: How long did that one take you guys? > The plane finally comes to a complete stop. The door opens and some > passengers and flight attendants come out. Misato looks carefully for > the professor, even though she doesn't know what she looks like Rebecca: So they didn't give her a photo? A description? Any information? A sign saying "Prof. Otagi?" > she hopes that she'll have the same white lab coat that Ritsuko wears. Tsuneo: Oh yeah, you can always spot a scientist because no matter where they go or what they're doing, they always wear a lab coat. > Sure enough she spots a lady with a white lab coat. Tsuneo: I hate my life. > Her hair was dark brown, and short like Rei's. Tango: Yui Ikari, back from the dead! Gendo's gonna pay! Dan: [Gendo] Er... Hi dear. This isn't what it looks like. > She was young, around her 20s. She was > very thin and Misato had a hint of jealousy when she saw how pretty her > face looked. Rebecca: Take that one how you will. Tsuneo: That is wrong on so many levels. > Her eyes were amazingly enough grayish blue, Tsuneo: It *is* Yui! Back from the dead! Dan: What's so amazing about it being grayish-blue? In Anime, anyone can have any coloured eyes. And blue-gray is perfectly normal anyway. > they stood > out very much from the rest of her features and she wore a pair of thin > rimmed glasses. Tango: Great disguise, Yui. No one'll ever spot you. > She walked down the stairs and stuck out her hand to Misato. Rebecca: [Misato] Oh, you want me to shake that. Tango: Maybe if she hadn't stuck it out on a pole... > "Hi, you must be Commander Katsuragi. Dan: [Eva] Unlike you, they gave me a photo and file all about you. Nummy muffin. > It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Professor Otagi, Eva Otagi." > Misato shook her hand. Her voice was soft, yet had a sense of confidence, > almost like Asuka's voice. Tsuneo: Asuka's voice is not soft. Grating, yes. Shrill, definitely. Abrasive, certainly. Confidant, no. Arrogant, yes. And I haven't even started on Tiffany Grant. > They smiled at each other. Tango: [Misato] Isn't it great that we got our lobotomies at the same place? We even got to keep the piece they took out. Rebecca: [Eva] So... Your place or mine? > "Welcome to NERV." Kaji coughs to get attention. Dan: Just to stop them from gazing longingly at each other. > "Oh, this is Kaji Ryouji, he, well, Rebecca: [Misato] Say Kaji, what *do* you do around here? Dan: [Kaji] You. > helps around in NERV." Tango: I didn't know "sleeps" was spelt that way. > "Hi!" Kaji grabs her hand and smiles at her. Dan: [Kaji] So, your place or mine? > Misato's eyebrow raises. Rebecca: Do you smell what Misato is cooking? Tango: Only 'cause it's burning. > "So you're the professor I've heard so much about?" Rebecca: [Misato] "Nummy muffin." Tsuneo: You hadn't even heard of her a day ago. Dan: She obviously did her homework. > "Um, I guess so." > Eva was startled by Kaji's wide grin Dan: [Eva] He looks like he's gonna bite me. > and also at the fact that he was still shaking her hand. Dan: [Kaji] Oh, yeah... Get that jiggle going. > "Wow, it's a pleasure to meet you." Tango: Care to be any more blatant, Kaji? > "Thank you." Eva slid her hand out of Kaji's grip and slowly stepped away > from him. Tsuneo: [Eva] I think he broke my hand. > "I'm just gonna go check on my bags." She rushed off quickly. Rebecca: Great excuse, Eva. Oh, so subtle. Right up there with "Do you mind if I give you the slip?" > Misato slapped Kaji hard on the back. > "OW!" > "What the hell do you think your doing!?" Dan: [Kaji] Her, with any luck. > "Uh, just being friendly." Misato's glare was more powerful than ever. Rebecca: [Kaji] What, it's not like you weren't trying. > "Really! I swear!" > "Looks to me like you were trying to flirt with her! She's way too young > for you anyway! Rebecca: Ahem, ahem, Asuka ahem! > And she probably wouldn't have anything to do with a scumbag like you!" Tsuneo: Misato, watch what you're saying. > "Misa..." Tango: Hayase? Dan: Pixie Misa? Tsuneo: No. > Misato quickly decked Kaji before he could say anything. Rebecca: [Misato] What? You dare flirt with someone else? WA-TAK! > "Ow..." Kaji lay on the ground dazed. Misato walks away, fist clenched and > furious. Dan: Misato has the Fist of Death! She has the strength of madness! Tsuneo: Sorry, I thought there was a story happening here. > Isamu, Shinji, Rei and Asuka sit around in Misato's office waiting for her. > "She did tell us to meet her here right?" Asuka starts to get > impatient. "The note said to go to NERV." Tsuneo: Well that's specific. > Isamu lay on the ground. Rebecca: I guess Asuka has the Fist of Death as well. Tango: What, is he dead again already? Did he even get in his EVA this time? > Kaji then comes through the door. Tsuneo: And the fic randomly changes tense for no good reason. > "Hey kids! Glad you're here. Hurry up and get in your uniforms, you got some > test to perform." With that he went. Dan: Thank you mister Exposition. Tango: Ladies and gentlemen: Kaji. Rebecca: Doing as much as ever, I see. > The pilots moaned and got up to go to the locker rooms. Tsuneo: I thought random excessive sync tests were Delta's schtick. > "Misato, what test do we need to do?" Shinji asked. Dan: Let's see, could it be a sync test? > "Oh, we just wanna observe the actions of the Evas." Rebecca: [Misato] So get in them. Tsuneo: [Shinji] And? Rebecca: [Misato] Well... you know. Tsuneo: [Shinji] No. Rebecca: [Misato] Do stuff. > "Haven't you done that while we were fighting?" Asuka asks. "Yes, but someone > else would like to see them in action." > "Who?" They all ask. Tango: They've been released from their contract so Vince McMahon is thinking of signing them up. > "Everyone this is Professor Eva Otagi." > Eva steps out Rebecca: So she was hiding in the cupboard all along? > and smiles to all the pilots. > "Hi." Dan: [Shinji] Hi, mum. Rebecca: [Eva] Don't call me that! Dan: [Shinji] But you look just like my mum! Rebecca: [Eva] Shush! And it's got nothing to do with Seele, second impact, human instrumentality, Evangelions or the big tank o' Reis down in the basement either! > "Hello." All the pilots respond. Tsuneo: [Shinji] Are we going to have to put up with another pointless authour-created character? Rebecca: [Asuka] Who wants to bet on how long it takes us to drive her mad? > "I hope you guys don't mind that I'm asking you to do some fighting with your > Evas." Tango: Well, Shinji will probably have a psychotic episode, Asuka will scream in that pathetic voice of hers, Rei will say something significant and Isamu will maim himself again. > "Oh no! Not at all!" Isamu and Shinji answer right away. Quickly Rei and > Asuka give them looks of anger. Rebecca: That's right, all men can't help but make idiots of themselves over professor plot point here. Tango: Rei? Angry? I just can't imagine that. > "Uh, I mean it won't be any trouble at all." Isamu goes quickly towards his > Eva. The rest of the pilots follow. Rebecca: Uh, you've got other EVAs to go to. Tango: Nah, they're all going to pile into the one plug. > "They seem like great kids." Eva turns to look at Misato. Dan: Admit it, you get off on people drooling over you. > "They are! They're great pilots too." Tsuneo: [Misato] Well, apart from Isamu. Rebecca: Compared to who? How many other giant robot pilots do you have? > "Great, I can't wait to observe them." > The Evas are shot up into the practice area and they're each given a > certain task to do. Dan: Rei will pose in suggestively revealing clothing. Rebecca: Asuka will scream and do nothing. Tango: Shinji will sit around and have his own problems. Tsuneo: Isamu will do himself in and save us the bother. > Eva 0 is first and it shoots his targets with a > single shot each. Eva 2 moves quickly striking its enemies with it's > knife. Eva 1 shows how powerful long range attacks can be. Tango: With a diagram and slides, even. > Finally Eva > 4 slices its enemies with powerful swings and there test are over. Tsuneo: Well are they or is it? > "That was great!" Prof. Otagi's eyes gleamed with the awe of watching > the Evas in action. Rebecca: She has a thing for powerful machinery. > "They are pretty amazing." > "Yes, both the pilots and the Evas." Dan: Of course, you could have seen all this in battle reports, test footage and so on. > "Alright guys, great job! You're done for the day. Tango: We're finished wasting time and ammunition. > Hurry up and get dressed and we'll go get something to eat." > "Alright!" All the pilots shouted. > "Would you like to join us?" Misato turned towards Prof. Otagi. Rebecca: Why, are you coming apart? > "Really? Well, sure I'd love to." > "Great!" Tsuneo: Are they getting hamburgers and ice cream? > Noodle House Dan: Good old Misato... As cheap as ever. > "So...Prof. Otagi..." > "Please call me Rebecca: [Eva] Plot device. Tsuneo: [Eva] Yui. Ack, didn't mean to say that. > Eva." > "Alright...um, Eva, how long have you been working for NERV?" Tango: About half a chapter now. > Kensuke had joined the rest of the group in eating noodles along with Touji. Tsuneo: Suddenly I have an image of all eight of them trying to cram into a small roadside noodle bar. Dan: Not that Kensuke minds being squashed between Misato and Eva. Tango: How many limbs does Toji have in this scene? Rebecca: No Hikari? Guess they left the dark queen at home. > "Well, practically my whole life, Tsuneo: [Eva] Since I emerged from the cloning tank... Whoops! Didn't mean to say that either. > it's a family type job. It went from my mother and father to me." Dan: That sounds more like a social disease. Tsuneo: There hasn't been a NERV for that long. > "Wow, so your whole family worked in NERV?" Kensuke seemed to be very > intrigued with Prof. Otagi's stories. Rebecca: Well, intrigued with something about her. A bit lower. > "Well, for as long as my family and NERV have existed, yes." Tango: So what, your family's only been around for eight years? Tsuneo: [Eva] Yeah, it's so nice. they cloned me off a whole set of parents... Whoops, forget I said that. > "Haven't you ever had interest in doing another job?" Touji asked. Rebecca: [Eva] Well I did work on a street corner in Bangkok for a while. That's where I met Kaji. > "When I was young I wanted to be a veterinarian, Tsuneo: [Eva] I wanted to work with cloned sheep. Oops. Dan: [Dr. Evil] An evil vet, perhaps? > but it seemed to me that > working in NERV was something that I guess was sort of a tradition." Tango: Well, your clone DNA donor helped found Gehern... > All the guys eyes seemed to be on Eva Otagi as for the girls... Rebecca: Of course, no-one can compete with the newfound authour avatar. Dan: I thought that was Isamu's job. Rebecca: Don't delude yourself. Would you want Isamu as your avatar? Tango: What worries me is that it took the authour four chapters to realise how lame Isamu is. > "Ok...what kind of a dinner is this?" Asuka started angrily at the crowd > around Eva. Tango: Noodles. > "Haha, jealous Asuka?" Misato asked. Rebecca: [Asuka, yelling] NO! > "There just interested in her because she's new, and seems to have lots of > stories to tell." Dan: Or it could be the way she's bursting out of her top. Your choice. > "Uh huh...well, I hope we get our food soon. I'm starving!" Tango: Yeah... when does the food arrive? They've been here six months now! > The crowd then burst into laughter at a joke Eva had just told. All [Weak]: Ha ha ha. Rebecca [Bored]: Whoopee. > "Geez...even her laugh is nice." Tsuneo: As if we haven't spent enough time pointing out how cool she is... > "Haha, c'mon now Asuka you can't possible hate her for everything she does." Rebecca: [Asuka] Why not? I'm allowed to! > Misato didn't seem to mind the fact that Eva was getting lots of attention. Dan: [Misato] At last, I can get pissed without anyone noticing. > "It's not everyday we get visitors, Tango: Something to do with being a top secret paranoid conspiracy. > so let's just all get along shall we?" All: No! > "I agree with Misato." Rei responded. Tango: Does that mean we can keep putting her down the volcano? > Asuka is confused at what Rei and Misato were saying. Rebecca: [Misato] Yes, but I figure if we recalibrate the subspace harmonics of the main deflector array... Dan: [Rei] Yes, but what effect would it have on the tetryon pulse of the dilithium crystal matrix? > "But..." > "Asuka, let's just all relax ok?" Tango: Snooze. > Misato takes a drink of her beer. "Um... ok..." > (END OF DINNER) Tsuneo: Another quality Tom Dyron scene change. Rebecca: This has been a smartchick_00 production. > "Well, I'm full!" Touji slams his cup on the table. > "I think we better be heading home, eh Kensuke?" Dan: [Kensuke] Do we have to? There's puppies here. > "Hm? Oh yeah, sure." Kensuke quickly finishes his tea and stands. > "Well, thanks for dinner everyone. See ya at school Shinji!" Touji rushes off > followed by Kensuke waving goodbye to everyone. Dan: Wow. You two really contributed. > "Waiter!" Isamu calls out. "Check please." Tango: They haven't paid yet? No wonder those two are running off. > "I wonder how much it's gonna be." Misato thinks to herself. > "Well, don't worry, dinners on me." Eva offers. Rebecca: She's paying for a Toji dinner? how much does he earn? > "Huh? Oh, don't be silly, I invited you to eat with us, I can't ask you > to pay." > "Really, it's no trouble at all. I had lots of fun tonight Rebecca: [Eva] Thanks to Kaji. > and I wanna repay you." Rebecca: [Misato] My place, fifteen minutes. > "Hmm..." > "Let her pay!" Asuka shouts. Dan: [Asuka] I have spoken! My rigid grill structure! Tango: When Asuka makes a suggestion, you listen. > "Asuka!" Misato looks at her. "Heh heh, just kidding! Really Prof. Otagi, you > don't have to." Rebecca: [Misato] I do come free. > "But really I insist." Tsuneo: And the negotiations trailed on into the night. > "Hey now everyone! Why don't we just split the bill?" Isamu suggested. Everyone > agreed and the bill was paid. Tango: Isamu says something and It Is So! Dan: Wouldn't that be the smartest idea from the start? > "Well, I had lots of fun tonight everyone. Thanks for taking me out." Tango: That's okay, the garbage men will be here to collect you in the morning. Rebecca: [Eva] I had so much fun indulging in your sycophantic adoration of my glorious self. > Eva was getting ready to walk to her apartment. Tsuneo: [Eva] Can I have a lift? Can I get a cab? Is there any other way home? Dan: Kaji would be happy to give her a ride. > "Well, no prob! Tomorrow we'll take you site seeing!" Misato smiled. Tsuneo: [Misato] That's the hole in the ground where we hit Sachiel with an *N2 mine. That's the hole in the ground where we hit Israfel with an N2 mine. That's the hole in the ground where Israfel exploded. That's the hole in the ground where Sahaquiel exploded. Dan: [Eva] That's nice, but what about the tourist spots? Tsuneo: [Misato] Those *were* the tourist spots. > "Yeah, and shopping!" Asuka added. > "Shopping? Uh oh..." Isamu whispered loud enough for everyone to hear and laugh. Tango: Guess who's going to have to pay for everything again. > "Wow, seems like my trip to Tokyo will be very exciting!" Rebecca: You're going to work at NERV. How could it not be? Tsuneo: If it was EVA:R. Or NXE with it's page turning action! > Eva smiled to everyone and waved goodbye. > (Misato's Apartment) Dan: This hole in the ground was caused by Misato Katsuragi. > "That Prof. Otagi is sure a nice lady." Shinji said as they walked in > the apartment. > "She does seem that way. There's something about her though..." Misato said. Rebecca: No, wait, let me guess... she's special, right? Dan: Not that again. > "Jealous of something Misato??" Asuka asked sarcastically. "Ha ha, not > jealousy, curiosity, she seems to be working in NERV a long time, why haven't I > ever heard of her?" Tsuneo: Oh, that's because she worked in the special branch in Belgium which is an outer suburb of Chicago before or after second impact when she jumped off a cliff to live with her three sisters who are her brother, both of which are called Charles or Charles when they lived in London, New York with their not- step father who wasn't married to his wife that was someone's mother... Er... Sorry. > "Maybe she worked under top secret conditions." Isamu said while plopping > down on the couch and yawning. Dan: Maybe she had an unlisted number. > "Hm, maybe." "Maybe you've heard of her and you just don't remember." Asuka said > again making another joke. Tsuneo: Joke? Was that meant to be funny? Tango: Yeah, they met at the Nerv office Christmas party. Misato doesn't remember anything from then. > "Haha, just kidding again Misato." > "Uh huh...well I'm going to bed, and you kids should to." > "It's only 9." Rei says. Rebecca: Are you kidding? For Rei, staying out until nine is rebelling. > "Well, Rei, you better be getting home then." Misato and went into her room. > "C'mon Rei, walk ya home." Shinji put his shoes and was waiting outside > the door. Tango: In the meantime, Rei took a cab. > "Well, bye you guys, see you at school." Tsuneo: Please tell me this scene is going somewhere. Please tell me there's some point to this. > "BYE!" Isamu and Asuka waved. > Isamu yawns again. > "Maybe you should go to bed to?" Asuka sits down on the couch next to Isamu. Rebecca: Nah, be rebels. Stay up until nine thirty. > "Nah...let's watch some t.v first." He grabs the remote and turn on the t.v on. > "Ok!" Asuka quickly snuggles against Isamu and they watch t.v together. Dan: Hey, what night have they moved Thunder to now? > NEXT DAY Tsuneo: Of course it wasn't. Silly me. > (NERV) > "Good morning everyone!" Misato walks in. > "Morning Misato!" > "Oh, hey Eva." Dan: [Misato] Have a good night last night? Rebecca: [Eva] Why thank you, nummy muffin. Tsuneo: [Eva] Sorry, thought I was talking to Kaji. > "Would you like some coffee, I bought some while coming to work today." Tango: I hope you brought coffee for everyone. Dan: Doesn't Nerv have a coffee machine? Why does she have to bring coffee? Rebecca: Kaji emptied their supplies on his early morning just-got-to-work break. > "Well, sure I'd love some, thanks." > "Your welcome." Tsuneo: Intense coffee pouring action! > "So, what's happening." Misato sips her coffee. All: Nothing! > "Well, nothing so far. Rebecca: They all just got to work, what do you expect? Tango: Shouldn't they all be standing around the water cooler discussing last night's TV? Dan: Friends is in its 23rd season. Will Rachel and ross finally get married? > Everything's been pretty quiet. Oh yeah, I've done some > research on the Eva units. I've come up with some new weapons for them." Tsuneo: That was quick. What, did you design them on your napkins last night? Rebecca: Well the service was that lousy. Tango: The angels won't know what hit them when they face the Dobie-O-Matic. > "Weapons? Really?" "Yeah, I'm not quite sure yet that they will be compatible > with the Evas Tsuneo: So... you've worked with NERV for your whole life as a weapons designer but you don't know if they'll work with EVAs? What did you think you were designing them for, the Jet-Alone? > but I'm hoping to be able to test them out." > Prof. Otagi pulls out some papers from a folder. Dan: Hey look... She's got the script! > "Well, that would be great. When do you think you'll be testing the weapons?" > "Um, well, the weapons have to be built first." All: Duh! > "Oh." "That will take about 2 weeks." > "2 weeks!?" > "Yes, the weapons are very easy to build, and they have been > in progress for quite some time now. Tsuneo: I thought she just designed them! Dan: Actually, all she did was take their current weapons and paint them all pink. > So 2 weeks is all we'll need." > "Wow, well then, whenever you need the Evas just tell me." > "Right!" > Misato nods and continues to drink her coffee. Dan: [Misato] By the way, what are these weapons? Tango: [Eva] I don't know, I just designed them. Tsuneo: And shouldn't she be asking Gendo first? Rebecca: Gendo? Since when has he mattered? > (ELSE WHERE) > "Prof. Eva Otagi...hm...do they know about her yet?" Rebecca: Well Misato and Kaji certainly do. > "No sir." Dan: [Mysterious voice #2] We haven't told the audience anything, sir. > "Good, they shouldn't. She's working with them is she not?" Tsuneo: So, in order to stop them from finding anything out about her, you get her to work with them. That's smart. > "Yes sir. She's working with the Evas building new weapons and other > equipment." Rebecca: [Mysterious voice #2] You know... Stuff. > "I see, then she should be kept out of trouble as long as the Evas are > out of trouble." > "Yes, but sir...what if the Eva units do get in trouble." Tango: [Mysterious voice #2] It's kind of their job. > "Then, we'll just have to wait and see what happens. Dan: You're really well prepared > But make sure no > one finds out about this girl's past. It wouldn't look good for NERV." Tango: Not to mention having the EVAs total half the city. Dan: Since when has that mattered? > "Yes sir, she'll be watched on." > (MALL) Rebecca: -Of doom! > "Haha! I can't believe you bought so many things Asuka!" Eva stood > holding one small bag while Asuka had tons more. Rebecca: Mutter mutter female stereotypes mutter. > "Nether can I!" Isamu was struggling with even more of Asuka's bags. "Well, it > seemed as though there was a sale at every store!" Asuka smiled. "Hahaha!" Dan: It's funny because they're treating Isamu like dirt. Actually, that is funny. > Shinji and Rei were enjoying the show Isamu was putting, juggling bags. Tango: [Shinji] Let's make it interesting and throw stuff at him. > "Here let me help." Shinji grabbed a couple of bags off of Isamu's head. Rebecca: [Rei] Spoilsport. > "Well, hey! I can see again!" Isamu said with a grin on his face. Tsuneo: And, seeing his face, promptly covered it up again. Dan: [Isamu] And here was me thinking I had gone blind. > "Haha! Sorry honey!" Asuka said and grabbed some more bags off of him. Dan: Hey, why doesn't Eva carry any of those bags? Tango: What, and do the work of mere humans? > "Well, at least you didn't spend my money on all this stuff." Rebecca: [Asuka; mimes waving credit card] That's what you think! > Isamu smiled. "Hey...I should have!" Dan: What, spent all your money? Tango: No, have her spend all his money. > "Well, this has certainly been another fun day!" Eva smiled happily. Tsuneo: Did they actually buy anything, or did they just randomly throw away money? Rebecca: Yeah, Asuka brought a complete collection of decapitated stuffed toys. > "You should buy more things." Rei suggested. Tsuneo: Rei, the eternal shopaholic. Dan: Are you kidding? Rei almost bought something. > "I mean as Asuka said, there are sales going around in all of the stores." > "Well, I dunno." Tango: Maybe she's already got all she needs. > "C'mon let's go shopping some more!" Dan: [Misato] I haven't maxed out my card; it hasn't melted yet. > Misato shouted from behind all of > them, she was returning from the bathroom. Rebecca: Hey Rei, they're having a sale on school uniforms. > "Oh no..." Shinji looked worriedly and all the bags they had already. > "Well, can't fight 'em. Tango: Yes you can! Come on you little wuss, Shinji! Stand up for yourself! Grow a spine! Dan: [Shinji] Let's not and say I did. > C'mon Shinji let's go." Isamu and Shinji lifted all the > heavy bags and followed the girls towards more stores. Tsuneo: Just so I know, is this chapter going to be entirely about inane conversations and pointless scenes? > "Hey! That dress would look great on you Eva." Misato pointed into the > window towards a light black, short skirt dress. Tsuneo: Of course it is. Silly me. Rebecca: How can you have a "light black" dress? Black is black! There's no "light black," "dark black" or anything like that. > "You think? I don't wear much dresses." Tango: You mean you only wear them one at a time like everyone else? Dan: No, her dresses are really skimpy! > "Yeah! Let's go try it on!" Misato grabbed Eva's arm and dragged her into the > store. Dan: Both at once? Kinky. > Eva emerged from the dressing room in the dress. > "Whoa..." Isamu's mouth dropped. Tsuneo: [Incredibly bored] Sorry, forgot to mention she's mind-blowingly beautiful again. > "Ahem!" Asuka glared. Rebecca: [Asuka] What? You dare oggle another woman? WA-TAK! > "Heh heh..." Isamu rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Tango: [Isamu] What, am I dead again? > "Wow, it's perfect for you!" Misato said. > "Really? Hm, I feel kinda weird." Dan: [Eva] It's the way everyone's staring at me. Tsuneo: Eva? You might want to do the zip up. > "Weird? You look great in that dress." Asuka said with a hint > of jealousy in her voice. Rebecca: [Asuka] Must... kill... despicable... self-insertion... > "Asuka, I'm sure you would look great in this dress as well. Dan: What, you want to get three of them in there at once? > "I'm sure she would!" Isamu shouted and smiled at Asuka. > Asuka glared again, but was happy he said it. > "Haha! Well, should I buy it?" Tsuneo: Well I'm not buying this. > "Yeah you should." Rei said. > "You do look great in it." Everyone agreed. Tango: [Shinji] Sorry about this folks, we have to pamper her ego some more. > It seemed as though she did. She fit perfectly in the dress. Dan: Is that like a Leji Masamoto paint-on uniform? > It seemed as though the dress made her ever more > prettier than she already was, her eyes seemed to shine more and her smile > brightened. [Tsuneo mimes being sick] Tango: No, that's the new toothpaste she's using. > "Guess I'll buy it then!" "Great!" Misato went to get the clerk. > "I should change out of it then." Eva headed back into the dressing room. "She > does look very nice in that dress." Shinji said. Dan: [Shinji] She looks like my mum- Rebecca: Sssh! > "Nice? She's beautiful!" Asuka added. Tsuneo: Just to reinforce the point... > "Haha, jealous Asuka?" Rei said. Tango: Rei you little cow! > "Why does everyone keep saying that?" Dan: It could be the way you're written this chapter. > "Haha, don't worry Asuka, you have nothing to be jealous of." With that Isamu > gave her a kiss on the cheek. Tango: [Isamu] If I don't placate her now, there's going to be hell to pay! > "You're sweet, but I bad liar." Rebecca: You're petulant, but not concentrated enough! > "Haha, can't blame a guy for trying." > (Misato's cell phone rings) Dan: If this is another crank call from Kaji... > "Hello...uh huh, this is she...WHAT! Ok, I'm on it!" (hangs up) Rebecca: [Misato] Wrong number. > "An angel has been spotted! We gotta go!" > Everyone headed outside and in no time they arrived at NERV. Tsuneo: Hooray! At last, a plot! Rebecca: And you'd better hurry, it's only seven feet away. > NERV > "Status report!" Misato entered the room. > "The angels close ma'am about 20 meters away." Rebecca: Oh, close enough. Tango: At least they're attacking in metric this time. Dan: [Aoba] I can reach out and touch it! > "Are the pilots ready?" Tsuneo: Well, relatively speaking... > "Yes." > "Good, deploy them!" Dan: [Misato] Do I need to tell you people everything? Rebecca: Tap Isamu when he is deployed. Isamu does not untap during your untap phase. > The Eva units were deployed. > "Spread out and wait for the angel to approach." Tango: It's twenty meters away. I don't think you need to wait. > "Yes ma'am!" All the pilots responded. > "Commander Katsuragi!" Misato turns around to face Prof. Otagi. > "Yes?" Rebecca: [Eva] Nothing, I just like saying "Commander." > "Unit 2 and 5 have been equipped with the new weapons. Tsuneo: Doesn't he pilot unit 04? And won't those weapons take two weeks to build? And why didn't you tell anyone about this *before* they were deployed? [Pause] Aagh! I've gone blind! Dan: Sounds like a flash of the blatantly obvious to me. > Unit 2 > has a shield which can't be very easily penetrated and Unit 5 has the > new laser rifle. It shoots for great distance is quite powerful." Tango: So how's that different to the weapons you've been using so far? Tsuneo: This one's got words missing from it's description. > "I see, we'll be testing these weapons out then." > "Yes, I believe we should." Dan: So why haven't you tested them yet? Rebecca: They enjoy life-fire tests. > "Ok then. Asuka, Isamu!" > "Yeah?" > "You guys got some new weapons to work with." > "Great, what?" Asuka asks. Tsuneo: So they've been deployed with them and they don't know it? [Pause] Aack! I've gone blind again! > "Unit 2 is equipped with a shield and Unit 5 has a laser rifle." > "How come he gets the gun??" Asuka asks again, partially joking. Rebecca: [Asuka] I can't hideously maim anything with this thing! > "Asuka..." > "I see the rifle Misato." Isamu interupts. Tsuneo: So they haven't been deployed with their weapons, yet they're told they have them... I'd better stop now. > "Good. Unit 0 and 1 will attack the angel first and get it's attention. Dan: We're calling it operation human shield. > Afterwards, Unit 2 and 5 will approach it and use the new weapons." Rebecca: Thereby giving Asuka and Isamu a chance to show off. > "What happens if the weapons don't work?" Isamu asks. Tango: Then you're screwed. Sorry. > "Then Unit 0 and 1 should keep on attacking it." Prof. Otagi answers. Dan: Brilliant plan. > "But I'm positive the weapons should work, we've tested them many, many > times." Tsuneo: But you said they were brand- [Pause] No. I'm fine. I'm calm. > "Ok, I'll take your word for it." Isamu moves his Eva into position. Rebecca: Would you trust this scientist? I wouldn't. Dan: [Shinji] Hey, will you just listen to my mum? Tango: She's not your mum, Shinji. > As the angel approaches Unit 2 activates her shield, which appears > quite large and shines with a blue hue. Tsuneo: Oh, so it's an energy shield. Why didn't you tell us that kind of thing- [Pause] Wait, nope. I'm fine. Really. > Unit 5 positions his rifle is his arms. Tango: That's usually how it's done. Rebecca: [Isamu] At last! I have a bigger weapon! > The angel is seen slowly walking towards the Evas, then stops. Dan: Yes, but what does it look like? Rebecca: [Pretends to roll dice] It looks like a giant electric penguin with green tentacles that sting. > It lets > a roar and then charges towards them. Unit 0 and 1 begin to fire when > the angel gets close enough and slows it down. But it still charges. Dan: So are Rei and Shinji actually doing anything here? Rebecca: Yeah, they're making everyone else look good. > Unit 2 and 5 then run and positions themselves. The angel begins firing > missiles at Unit 2 but the shield protects her. Tango: At least Asuka uses protection. > "This thing really works." > Unit 5 then starts to fire the laser rifle. One shot give the angel a > lot of damage Tsuneo: [Angel] Oh, some damage. How nice. > and it falls down but gets back up. Unit 0 and 1 continue > to give the other Evas backup and start to fire again. Tsuneo: So in fact they weren't continuing, they just restarted? Can't you get anything straight? Can't we get any- Oh my god, I've gone cross-eyed. > Eva 5 then fires another shot and the angel is dead. Rebecca: And that's it? Gee, he didn't even get horribly maimed. Dan: I guess that was another pointless jobber angel. Tango: I miss the loopy, long rambling fights in the earlier chapters. > "Wow..." Isamu is surprised at how powerful the rifle was. Dan: [Isamu] Wow! Look at my mighty weapon! > "Those new weapons are great!" Misato turns to Eva. > "Great job!" > "Oh, why thank you, but I shouldn't take all the credit, your crew of > engineers were the ones who did most of the work." Dan: [Eva] But they're not here, so I'll take all the credit anyway. > "Well, it was a team effort I guess." > "Yeah, you could say that." > "Will we being seeing any more weapons?" Rebecca: [Eva] Nope. I only showed up to provide you with those weapons. I'm popping off now. You'll have to find your objects of worship somewhere else. Dan: [Shinji] Bye, mum. Rebecca: [Eva] Shut up! > "Oh yes, of course, Unit 0 and 1 need new weapons as well." Prof. Otagi > smiled. "And I already got something planned." Tsuneo: Of course, there's no reason at all why the other EVAs couldn't use the weapons already developed. Rebecca: Watch it, wonder boy. You know where being reasonable gets you. > "Great!" > "Let's get those Evas in!" Misato ordered. Rebecca: Otherwise, we'll be hit with a late fee. > "Yes ma'am!" > "Commander! There's a problem with one of the Units!" > "What? Which one?" Tango: Ooh, it's Isamu! You watch! > "Unit 5 ma'am!" All: Hooray! Dan: Is it wrong of us to cheer for something awful to happen to Isamu? Tango: Yes. [Pause] Tango: So? > "What's wrong?" > "They can't tell, it seems to be...not responding to anything." Tsuneo: Is there any reason this time, or is it just randomly failing to work? > "What? Isamu? Can you hear me?" > (static) "Yea...Mi....can't...ej...pod...." > "What? Isamu, you're not coming in clear." Rebecca: The fic's not coming over clear, but that's never stopped you. > "Misato what's wrong?" Shinji asks. Tango: [Misato] My shares are dropping, Aoba's being an idiot, I've got an irritating itch on the small of my back and I've got a horrible feeling that I left the fridge door open. Oh yeah, and Isamu's in trouble. > "Eva Unit 5 is not responding. We can't get Isamu out." Tsuneo: So, um... Same old same old, really. > "It might be because so much of it's energy was used for the rifle." Prof. > Otagi explains. Dan: And here was me thinking the EVAs fed off mains power. > "I'm going down to check it out." Eva runs off. Rebecca: [Eva] I don't know anything about the workings of the EVAs per se, but I'm going to check it out anyway. Tango: Is she going to be trampled? > Prof. Otagi is taken to the top of the Eva Unit. Rebecca: [Eva] Hey, I can see my house from here. > "Isamu? Can you hear me?" > "Yeah!" Isamu shouts. Dan: He's shouting so loud, he can be heard through the plug, the EVA's body and its armour. > "I'm uh...kinda stuck!" Tango: [Isamu] And I need to go. > "Yeah, the Eva's not responding." Tsuneo: Have you tried switching it on? > "Yea I know...I can't seem to communicate with it myself." > "Ok, don't worry I'll get you out." Dan: Look at that, someone tripped over the power cord? > "Huh? How?" Rebecca: [Eva] It involves an enormous hacksaw. > "Don't worry." > Prof. Otagi gets off the Eva real quick and then returns with her > laptop. Tango: Do you reckon the EVAs use compatible network protocols? Dan: [Eva] Do you want to play some Quake deathmatches while we're here? Rebecca: I prefer Unreal anyway. > "Ok Isamu, you're gonna have to be patient, Rebecca: [Eva] Windows 98's still loading. > and try to concentrate hard on making the Eva, um, wake up." Tango: Wake up, Jeff! Rebecca: I should have pegged you as a Wiggles fan. > "Alright..." Dan: [Isamu] How do I do that? Tsuneo: [Eva] You just do. Dan: [Isamu] But I've been doing that and nothing's happened. Tsuneo: [Eva] Well... Keep trying. > Eva puts some wires into the Unit and begins to work on her laptop. Dan: Don't laugh, folks, this is how you destroy alien races. > She types quickly on the keyboard Tango: [Deep] Godlike! > and then stops. She then places her hand on the Eva and closes her eyes. Rebecca: Evil spirits that have possessed this device... Begone! Tango: [Eva] I'm giving you three seconds to wake up. Three! Two! One! [Pause] Well, I've done all I can do. Tough break, kid. > Suddenly the Eva awakens and the pod ejects. Tsuneo: That was easy. Considering her mysterious connection to the EVAs that was made blatantly obvious through her hname, that is. > "What the...." Isamu opens the door and looks at Eva who smiles > at him. > "What did you do??" Isamu asks dazed at what just happened. Tsuneo: [Eva] I utilized my hideously contrived plot powers. Rebecca: [Eva] Did I mention that I'm special? > "Well...um...it's hard to explain." Dan: And kind of embarrassing. Tango: She saw that trick in a re-run of Neon Leviticus and has been dying to try it out. > "Yea...I would think so." > "Maybe I'll tell you some other time." > "Um, ok then." Rebecca: Could you be any more vague if you tried? > Isamu helps Prof. Otagi of the Eva. Tsuneo: Otagi of the Eva? Is that some kind of title now? Dan: No, it's just that she's being introduced by Yoda. > Misato walks up to them. > "Wha...how...it moved, but how? Tango: It's what EVAs do. > And you...with the hand thing and..." Dan: Yes, "Manos." Rebecca: The Hands of Fate, even. > Misato stuttered for a couple more minutes Tango: Is she related to Buh Buh-Ray and D'Von? > and then stopped to get herself together. Rebecca: Where did that spleen go? > "Ok...what was that??" > "Heh heh, well..." > "It's hard to explain." Isamu answered for her. > "Yea...I would think so." Tsuneo: I know! It's a re-run of dialogue from half a page ago. > "Haha." Eva laughs nervously and Misato looks confused. Dan: [Eva] I'm in trouble, aren't I? Rebecca: You said it. > "Well...um...I better get back to work." As Eva walks she gets confused stares > from the employees. > "Well..." Misato says. > "Yeah..." Isamu says. Dan: "Manos." > The End....for now Tango: And other such corny finishing lines. > Note from author: Ok, I have this giant writers block right now so I'm > kinda struggling to write more stories. Tsuneo: Don't on our account. > Sorry bout the delay and I hope > that everyone can be patient to wait for more, or you could read other > ppl's which are probably much better than mine anyway, hehe. Rebecca: Yeah, we could be watching Delta right now. Dan: Let's not. > And...like my new character? All: No. > I'm still decided whether she should stay in more > chapters or just cut her out and have her return every once in awhile, > what do you think? Tango: I think cabbage smells funny. Dan: Hard choice. Pointlessly re-introduce her each chapter, or just waste time saying how beautiful she is again. > Comments at smart_chick00@yahoo.com Well, thanks for > reading so far! > Eva ^_^ Tsuneo: Evas and smiley faces do not go well together. Dan: Maybe you need some therapy. [The TV switches off] Dan: What a waste of time. Tango: Was that a part of the therapy? Rebecca: I'm not sure myself. Voice: well? Tsuneo: Well what? Voice: Well what do you think of it? Tsuneo: I'm quite frankly disgusted by just how much time everyone spends sucking up to professor Otagi and saying how beautiful she is. Essentially everyone fawns all over her, agrees with her and tells each other that she's wonderful. It's just so blatant that it's despicable. Dan: I was just waiting for something to happen, that's all. They spent so much time just mucking around with pointless scenes. I mean, the opening of the fic is a boring morning scene with no relevance whatsoever. Then they waste time going shopping and go into pointless details about carrying bags. What's so neat about that? Rebecca: There was nothing surprising in this fic. So Dr. Otagi has weird powers. Big deal. Anyone who couldn't see that coming has got to be a total idiot. It's pretty clear that Eva's meant to be the authour's new avatar or something to that effect. Tango: My head still hurts. Tsuneo: Er, yeah. That and it made absolutely no sense I mean- Rebecca: Don't think about it. Dan: Yeah, remember what happened? Tsuneo: Yeah, thanks. I'll be fine. Tango: Maybe he does need some therapy. Tsuneo: Um, I'm not sure about this... Rebecca: Oh, it's simple. You hold up a card, and I hit you with the hammer. Tsuneo: Do I get to answer? Tango & Rebecca: Nah. Tsuneo: Oh-oh. [Tango grabs the mallet and leaps at Tsuneo with it. Tsuneo ducks, scrambles off the couch and dashes out the door. Tango gives a maniacal grin and chases after him.] [The screen goes blank] Dan: Say, what are we meant to be curing him of? Rebecca: Does it matter? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) and Twin Cannon (ausmax@ihug.com.au) Tango is copyright 1997-2000 "TS" Eliot (Twin Cannon) Dan and Tsuneo are copyright 1995-2000 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley is copyright 1995-2000 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. The Evacorp Network: evacorp.cyril.com One of the largest Eva sites in the world, contains a thousand and one reasons why stories like this are utterly impossible evafiction.animecenter.com More EVA fanfics than you can poke a stick at. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > "Not too much. She does most of her work in China, but whatever she does > there she's very popular for it."