Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Episode 95 sees the long-awaited (not) return of the disaster-prone Isamu Mitsurugi and his WAFFy adventurs! Evangelion is copyright Gainax. Evangelion: The Good life is copyright smart_chick00@yahoo.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette. A cardboard box sits by the bench, with the tattered remains of a plastic Christmas tree and pieces of tinsel sticking out.] [Rick is sitting on the couch, reading a comic. Dan and Rebecca enter, talking] Rebecca: So what'd she do then? Dan: She shot me. Rebecca: Ouch. So what happened? Dan: Then I said to her "Well, you are my sister, so I'll just claim it's a moderate wound" Rebecca: Dan, your family is too screwed up for words. Dan: Hey! Rick's actually here! Rick: Very funny. Rebecca: Oh come on. You've ducked out of a whole third of our experiments so far. Dan: And you haven't been here since that last chapter of Delta. Rick: So? [Tsuneo enters] Tsuneo: Well this is a surprise. Rick: Er... Hi. Er... My car is double-parked. 'Scuse. [Indiana Jones music starts as Rick leaps off the couch. The door begins to close- by dropping from the roof. Rick rolls under the door, dropping his comic. His hand briefly appears, snatches the comic, and vanishes. The door shuts with a loud thud] Rebecca: I didn't know we had a Death Star Door. Tsuneo: We didn't last time I checked. Voice: Damn! Damn! He did it again! Dan: You OK there, Voice? Voice: Yes! I'm fine! Serenity now! Dan: Huh? Rebecca: You're beginning to sound like George Castanza. Tsuneo: No-one should be allowed to do that. Dan: Except Duckman. Tsuneo: And how in blazes does Rick do that? He seems to be getting away more and more often. Dan: Yeah, he always escapes the bad fics... Well, the exceptionally bad fics... Ok, so some of the not so bad ones at all... In fact, it seems like he just escapes from random fics, but fics from the same... Rebecca: Shut up, Dan. Tsuneo: You know, it is beginning to bother me. Does he have an informant or something? Rebecca: What, his own Fuago on the inside? Dan: Naah, I don't think the voice could afford to hire anyone but us. Rebecca: Hey, he does have the B team. Tsuneo: Yeah, and when was the last time you saw any of them except Maya? Dan: Well, maybe one of them slips him. Rebecca: Well how would they know? Dan: Good point. Tsuneo: Maybe he's got some sort of fanfic danger sense. It tells him when a bad fic is approaching. Rebecca: A bit of al limited ability, isn't it? Dan: It's too preposterous for words. Tsuneo: And besides, he has been here for some of the worst we've done. Like eleven chapters of Delta. Rebecca: But he did skip chapter four. Tsuneo: Point. Dan: Maybe he's broken into the Voice's files and knows what's coming. Rebecca: No, then he'd skip the fics he knows will be ultra-bad. Tsuneo: Besides which, it'd mean that he has some kind of useful skills. Dan: Hey, he draws hot babes in tight costumes. That's a useful skill. Rebecca: Only you would say that, Dan. Tsuneo: Of course, now that Rick's gone, we've got to wonder what's coming. [A blue blob shoots down through the roof, forming into a humanoid shape. The skin slides off, revealing the disturbingly familiar figure of Tango beneath. The blob dissolves in a brief glow of light.] Rebecca: Well that classifies as "what". Tango: Wow. That was a hell of a thing. What's with you guys? Dan: Er... nothing. Nice... um... beam of light... yeah. Tsuneo: So what does that mean we're getting today? Tango: I always get the same fics. I get the same comments too, but never mind that. Dan: Huh? Tango: Yeah, like that! [Dan stands still, confused] Tango: He's not that alert today. Rebecca: I'm not touching that one. Tsuneo: Well if you guys don't mind, I think I'll find something slightly more intelligent. [He fiddles with the computer for a second] And what do you know? We've got fanmail. [They cluster around the computer] Tsuneo: The first one's from Mike Surbrook on BG Curse. > > SYLIA: .... > > Mackie, get the battle-truck ready with it's armaments. > Dan: So he's going to fill it up with post-apocalyptic New Zealanders? > Tango: Okay, but watch out for the guy on the chook-dung powered > motorbike. > Rebecca: Well that's obscure. > Hmm.. this must be "Battle Truck" which I never saw. I did see "Warriros > of the Wasteland" which was Italian I think, and blew mucho-dogo. Rebecca: "Battletruck" Is also known as "Warlords of the 21st Century", so it may be lurking nearby in camouflage. > Dan: Why don't they just use a K-17? Or a K-12? Or a K-11? Heck, why > not even a Kumo? > Kumo? Are you confusing Kazei 5 with BGC? Dan: I was thinking of the Kumo battlemover from the ADP Anime. Tango: Come on, no-one actually watched that. > > SYLIA: You Monster! > > Dan: [Woman] Yes, and I carry treasure type J as well. > > H man, you gotta get H. Tango: So what does my treasure type Z mean? Rebecca: It means that you usually carry a banana, a dustbuster, a ball of string and five green towels. > > ESPER: That's right. Particlularly a telekinetic. > Maya: Ever had a an overriding urge to annhialate Tokyo? > Shion: Yes. All: We know. > > [ The tapes slowly levitate and start moving toward her outstretched > > hand. > Tango: You can't just pick it up like a normal person. > Rebecca: When you've got power, flaunt it. > Shion: Exactly. Dan: Yeah, but not all of us are seven hundred point characters, you know. Tsuneo: And thanks for writing in, Mike. Voice: So, if you're all ready... Rebecca: Well hey, it's Karan Sjet. How's things going up there? Voice: Cute. But I've had to put today's fic on hold and call in the reserve. [Tango spins around, looking for the reserve] Er... So I've got another chapter of Good Life for you. Dan: But... I thought there wasn't any more of that? Voice: Yeah, well, stuff happens. Deal. Rebecca: Gee Voice, I love you too. [They sit - Dan and Tango facing the TV, Rebecca and Tsuneo on the sideways couch.] Tsuneo: He's probably just bitter because Rick got away again. [The TV switches on] > Chapter 7 > Secrets Revealed II Dan: A Few More Secrets We Didn't Feel Like Revealing Last Time. Tango: Good to see they came up with an original name. At least they didn't make it a clip show. > Eva opened her eyes slowly. Everything was blurry, Tango: So this is how a liquor store sees the world. > she blinked a couple of times until her vision cleared. Tsuneo: She must have been reading the rest of Good Life. Rebecca: You don't want to know, trust me. > (moans) > Prof. Otagi: ooh..my head..hurts. Dan: Ooh, Eva, been into the hard stuff again? Tango: What, Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow again? > Cindy: Well it should, I hit it pretty hard. Rebecca: [Cindy] Want another demo? > Eva looked up at the voice. [They all look up] Voice: It's not me! > She noticed her hands and feet were > tied together and she was laying on the cold floor. Rebecca: This seems inherently wrong somehow. Dan: I dunno, I like it. [Rebecca hits him with a cushion] > She saw the familiar figure that had attacked her. Tango: EVA fans everywhere? > Her > brunette hair came down to the middle of her back. Her eyes a > dark green, and her smile.evil. Tsuneo: Ah, so that's who cindy@smile.evil.com was. > Prof. Otagi: Who are you and what do you want with me!? > Cindy smiled. > Cindy: Now, now professor. Behave yourself. Rebecca: [Cindy] It'll only hurt more otherwise. > Prof. Otagi: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!? Tsuneo: Nothing. Dan: It's something rather suspect, but I don't mind. Rebecca: Shut up! [She hits him with a cushion] > Eva hears a door open and close. A man approaches them. > Jay: So you got her. Dan: Jay? Jay Gordon is here? Nooo! Tango: [Cindy] Yeah, but she's an ultra-rare so I had to buy five hundred boosters to find one. > Cindy: Of course I did. I would like the rest of my money now. > Jay: Patience. You sure no NERV security men saw you? Tsuneo: Obviously we're not counting expendable extras. > Cindy: No body saw me. Tango: Obviously we don't count Jan in the Pan either. > Jay: Good. Dan: This dialogue is just thrilling. > Jay turned and kneeled towards Eva. > Jay: Hello professor, so good to finally meet you. Rebecca: Well you could have just made an appointment. > Prof. Otagi: Who are you!? > Jay smiled. Dan: [Jay] I like strawberry milkshakes, and I don't get a choice in that. > Jay: My name is Jay, Jay Makashima. Tsuneo: Okay, so it's not Jay Gordon. Our bad. > Prof. Otagi: What am I doing here!? Rebecca: Lying on the floor. Tango: Setting up the plot. Dan: Although I'd like to see what you were doing here five minutes ago. Rebecca: I swear, one more... > Jay: Well, now that was your own fault. Tsuneo: [Jay] You shouldn't have bought yourself in here, tied yourself up and knocked yourself out. > Using that power of > yours in front of everyone. wasn't such a good idea. Tsuneo: Nor was. Talking in sentence fragments. Dan: Are you sure this isn't Jay Gordon? It sure reads like Ratliff. > Prof. Otagi: What? But I.had to. Tsuneo: Additional dialogue by William Shatner. > Jay: No matter. It'll all be over soon enough. All: Thank you. Dan: So what is actually happening here? Rebecca: Nothing. Now to continue: Nothing. > Prof. Otagi: What do you mean by that!? > Jay: Come Cindy. Dan: [Jay] I need you for a "private briefing." > Jay and Cindy turned and left the room leaving Eva there, > shocked and confused. Tango: [Eva] What just happened? > (NERV) > Isamu: What do you mean the Eva units aren't working?? Tsuneo: What do you mean they're not working? Tango: Well they just stopped. Tsuneo: What do you mean, stopped? They weren't doing anything. Tango: They just, you know, stopped. > What are we suppose to do when an angel attacks! Rebecca: Use the unstoppable power of Jet Alone! > Misato: Isamu calm down. We know we have a big problem here. Tsuneo: Yes, it's called a fic. Tango: It's Evangelion. Everyone has problems. > It's not gonna help if we're all shouting. Dan: [Isamu, shouting] I don't care! I want to shout! I'm going to shout about something! [Normal] What was I shouting about? > Shinji: Misato.what's gonna happen? Rebecca: You're going to keep randomly placing periods into the text. > Misato: I don't know Shinji. Tango: So who have you been living with for the last few years? > Misato sat down in her seat. Dan: Misato sit! Tsuneo: Thanks for the small things. I thought she was sitting on the pot plant. > Asuka: Well, what happened anyway?? Tango: Stuff. > Misato: It seems there's some type of.code, Tsuneo: [Misato] Composed of a lot of .'s. > well more like a > virus that's been put into the Eva's to make them non responsive > to anything we do. Rebecca: Have you tried tickling their feet? Dan: Wow, Nerv security really sucks. > Rei: There's no way to break the code? Tsuneo: If there was, would we be telling you about it? Would we still have a problem? I think not! > Misato: We've been working on it. Not even Ritsuko can figure > out what's happening. Tango: It's easy, just get Tom Dyron to hack them. He can hack anything. > (knock, knock) All: Who's there? > Misato: Come in. > Theresa and Anne came through the door. Dan: You guys might want to open it first. Rebecca: [Theresa] I was wondering where your door went. > Theresa: Commander, I figured now would be a good time to > introduce everyone. Tsuneo: [Theresa] Since we're in the middle of a crisis and all. Ritsuko, this is Misato. Misato, this is Ritsuko. Dan: [Misato] We've met. Tango: I know what Theresa does around here! She's the valet! > Misato: Well, mines well, Tango: You've got a well? Tsuneo: Actually, she means... Heck, I don't know what she means. > it doesn't look like we will be able to go get that steak now. > Everyone this is Commander Theresa Khuu from the American Branch > in California. Rebecca: She's a professional arbitrary commander. Tsuneo: Um... Didn't you introduce her last chapter? > With her she brings our newest pilot. Anne. > The pilots greet Theresa and Anne. All: Hello Anne Dam [Anne]: ... > Asuka: A new pilot again. Tango: But is she very beautiful? > Well, it's nice to meet you Anne, I'm Asuka.. Tango [Asuka] ...Admiral Asuka, commander of the Imperial 7th, ruler of the Sluis. > Anne: Langley.I know all of your names. Tsuneo: She's got all the merchandise. > Rei: Well, that's great. Anne.um what is your last name? Dan: McGuffin springs to mind. Tsuneo: That would imply that she does something. Rebecca: You watch. She'll be Special. > Anne:.I don't have one. > Shinji: huh? Why's that? > Anne: ..just cause. Don't ask. Tango: Because she's the sixth crew member. It's probably "Fleegman" or something like that. > Shinji: Oh..ok then, sorry. > Anne: It's ok. Tsuneo [Anne]: I mean, everyone else has a last name, but you get used to it. > Isamu: Well, it's good to meet you. Tango: [Isamu] Want to see me throw myself under an Eva? > She nods and gives everyone a small smile. All: Ahh! Creepy... > Misato: Well, now that that's all done. Tango: The fat lady has done the song and the bad monsters have been deathed. > I'm afraid that Anne's come down all the way here for no reason. Tsuneo: That's the story of this whole fic. > Since the Eva's aren't working. Rebecca: Anne is going to make them work. Just watch. > Theresa: Have you found anything new out yet? Dan: [Misato] Well, we figured out that if we mix Red and yellow we get a new colour. We plan to call it Redyellow. Tsuneo: [Misato] Well we figured out that the rabbit comes out of the hole and goes around the tree... Tango: [Misato] We figured out that Superman and that talking horse are never in the same place and the same time. Rebecca: [Misato] We figured out that Third Impact is really just a new brand of jelly. > Misato: No. > Theresa: Well then, that sucks. Tsuneo: What, the fic? > Misato: Heh, yeah it does. > Isamu: Misato? > Misato: Hm? Tsuneo [Isamu]: How many licks does it take to get the the center of a tutsi-pop? Dan [Isamu]: We found this alligator in the toilet. Can we keep him? Rebecca [Isamu]: Why is there a transdimensional portal in our refrigerator? Tango [Isamu]: Did you know zort spelled backwards is Troz? Heh, TROZ! > Isamu: Mind telling us about what happened with Prof. Otagi and > the Eva unit? Tsuneo: Watch out guys, here comes the contrivance. > Misato: Well.she didn't want me to. Rebecca [Misato]: But I'll casually disregard her authority and dignity by telling you anyway. > But I think you guys need to know. > Theresa: What's all this about? Dan: [Misato] A bunch of freakishly talented EVA pilots, an evil dad and a squinty guy. Need you have asked? > Misato: Sit down Commander I'll tell ya all about it. Tango [Singing]: Now this here's the story of a man name Jed... > Theresa took a seat and Misato began telling her about how Eva > used some kind of power to awaken the Eva unit. All: By the power of Greyskull! > Then Misato began to explain all about what that was. Tsuneo: Last time, on Evangelion: The Good life... > It turns out that Eva's mom > was in something similar to Shinji's mother. Dan: A really bad flashback episode? > Only she survived. Tsuneo: She got turned into gelatinous yellow goo, but got better. Rebecca: So it was nothing like what Yui went through. > At the time she was pregnant. So thankful that she survived she > named her baby Eva. Tango: The universal icon for chaos, evil and destruction! Dan: Does Mr. Otagi have anything to say in this? Rebecca: "I want a divorce" springs to mind. > During when the Eva unit went berserk something happened Dan: That nobody saw because they were all to busy trying to fix the coffee machine. Rebecca: Hang on, is this while she was being turned into goo or not? > that made Mrs. Otagi afraid she had lost her baby. But > nothing was wrong after all. Tsuneo: Except that it caused this story. > After being born Eva already seemed to have interest in the Eva units. Tango: And God know Gainax churned out enough merchandise to satiate her interests. She even has the life size Rei doll Gotta catch em all! > She seemed to understand them. Rebecca: No-one understands Evangelions. > it was quite odd since she was just a little child. Dan: Hey look, it's a prospective member of the Kids Crew. Rebecca: Don't you know, nowadays all kids have to be equipped with an improbable and marketable monster. > One day as a > young child Eva wandered into a prototype Eva unit. Tsuneo: As one does. Tango: Obviously Barney and Otto were on security detail that day. > It went > berserk and everyone was frantic to get her out of the unit. Tsuneo: There's only one thing harder than making the ejection seat on an Eva work and that's making the ejection seat of a NON EXISTANT Eva work! > Suddenly though the Eva unit stopped and shut down. Dan: Nerv hadn't paid up its power bill. > Eva emerged unharmed and a big smile on her face. Rebecca [Baby Eva]: Awww done! Tango: But the plugsuit was still left inside the unit. > The first thing that came > out her mouth after getting out the unit was. "I made the big > thing stop mama!" Tsuneo: Which poses the question: How did she make it start in the first place? Tango: Oh that's easy the code was 1,2,3,4,5. That reminds me, I have to change the code on my luggage. > From that day on, no one spoke of anything. Tsuneo: No-one bothered to examine this phenomenon or anything. Dan: Instead the communicated by little cards. [Rebecca holds up a card saying "boring"] > But > it seems that Eva Otagi has a connection with the Eva units. Tsuneo: Let's see... first attempts to build Evangelions was about 2004, Yui's accident about then... So... that means Eva Otagi is only 10 years old, right? > Isamu: ..wow. > Asuka: Yeah. All: Snooze. > Misato: So, that's the story. Tango: Makes you mad, doesn't it? > And now...she's gone missing. So > I'm worried, I think she's the only one that could break > this code. Dan: If you want the code broken ask Lister, he breaks everything. > Shinji: This is.weird. Tango: com/~massivelycontrived/crappyfic.htm Tsuneo: How do you do that? > Misato: I know, it's like she can read minds of the Eva's Tsuneo: So why doesn't she pilot them? Rebecca: So does she carry on goofy conversations with them? Dan: Fortunately, she's not Jim Beckett. Rebecca: Fortunately, no-ones Jim Beckett. > Isamu: I think people too. Tsuneo: Actually she can't read minds at all, but she can read ahead on her script. > Misato: What's that? Dan: You know, something the writers develop so they don't have to make it up as they go along... > Isamu: Nothing! Tsuneo [Isamu, thinking]: Can't shatter my aura of omnipotence. Rebecca: Omnipotence, no. Incompetence, maybe. > Asuka looks at Isamu and thinks, "what does he mean by that?" Tsuneo [Bored]: He knows something you don't. What a surprise. Rebecca: Actually, if you can make out any of this, please tell us. > (next day at school) > Isamu leans back on his desk and yawns. Dan: Class is that good, huh? Tsuneo: It's a stock fanfic scene. What'd you expect? > Asuka: Hey you, why so sleepy? > Isamu: Hm.haven't been getting much sleep. Rebecca: He's been working late at the Department of Redundancy Department. > Asuka: What's wrong? Tsuneo: He's an inept would-be god-boy in a crappy fanfic. > Isamu puts his hand over hers. Rebecca: [Asuka]: What? You dare display your affections for the great Asuka in front of the peons? WA-TAK! > Isamu: Nothing, just can't sleep. Don't worry about it. Tsuneo: [Isamu] I keep dreaming I'm falling down this deep plot hole... Dan: Try reading this fic. It'll do wonders for you. > Asuka: All right.promise? > Isamu smiles. Tango: That seems....wrong. Rebecca: Wow. He looks even girlier. Tsuneo: Say... um... what *does* Isamu look like? We've been waiting six and a half chapters to know. Tango: He's definitely there. We think. > Isamu: I promise. > Rachel then sits down next to them. Rebecca: Hey, its the district sugar pusher! > Rachel: Hey guys! All: [Bored] Hi, Rachel. > Asuka: Hi Rachel, where's Hikari? Tango: She's deep in her underground lair trying to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! > Rachel: I don't know she went somewhere with Touji. Tsuneo: The ruins of the I/O tower? Er, not that I read that comic... Rebecca: Unh-huh. Tsuneo: Only the specials! Rebecca: Unh-huh. I'll just keep telling myself that. > Asuka raises an eyebrow. Dan: [Rachel] Y'know the spooky mansion on top of the hill. > Asuka: Really now?? Hehe > Isamu: Asuka-chan. Tango: Now THAT'S an oxymoron! > Asuka: Haha, I'm just kidding! Rebecca: [Asuka] I wasn't the one who threw them into the harbour with weights tied to their feet! Nosiree! > Rachel: Ewww, what were you thinking! Tango: I don't know, and if I did know, I don't think I'd want to know. > Haha! So what are you guys doing after school? Dan: [Asuka] Well we are going to fight some new-bred omnipotent beasties, but I'm going to be whipped and Isamu will have to save the day again. Why? > Isamu: Actually, we gotta head down to NERV. > Rachel: Oh? What for?? Rebecca: Gee, what do you think? Tsuneo: [Asuka] It's just our job and all. > Asuka: Just some work we gotta do. Tango: You know, saving the world and all. > Rachel: Hey! I heard the Evas aren't working. Is that true??? Dan: [Rachel] I heard it on the net, it must be true! Rebecca: Geez, how lame is Nerv security anyway? Tango: Just ask Kensuke. He's down in Terminal Dogma taking holiday snaps. > Asuka: Well. Tango: Misato is brining her car around and we are going to try and jump start them. > Isamu: No, not true at all. We're just having some problems but > they'll be fixed soon. Tsuneo: [Isamu] Just as soon as someone can make heads or tails of those BSOD error messages. Dan: That's right, just blab all of Nerv's secrets. I'm surprised Gendo hasn't shot him yet. > Rachel: Ohh, whew! That's good, what would happened if those > monsters attacked and there was no one to fight them! So scary! All: Set up. > Asuka: Yeah..it is. But nothing to worry about! Dan: We'll just be completely defenseless and helpless before them, that's all. Tango: If all else fails we can always deploy the giant inflatable barrage balloon with the two British airmen hidden inside! > Isamu and Asuka laughed nervously. Tsuneo: Heh-heh heh-heh heh-heh... We're so dead... heh-heh heh-heh heh-heh. > (elsewhere) Rebecca: Deep in the convenient Inner-City Bayou. > Eva has managed to sit up Dan: And promptly fell unconscious again when she smashed her skull on the bulkhead. > and slide over to lean on a wall. She > tries hard to untie the knots. Tango: But they'd used reef knots. The Bastards! Rebecca: Poor Eva, kidnapped by the boyscouts. > Another mysterious voice: That wont work. Tsuneo: You have to use the conveniently positioned diamond to cut through them. > Prof. Otagi: Huh? Not again. Dan: That's right, it's another random and completely unnamed new character! Yay. Rebecca: Is that you again, voice? Voice: For the last time, no! > Before she knew it her restraints had been cut. Eva rubbed her > wrist, which hurt a little. Tango: Something to do with the deep cuts in each one. > She turned to face the person who cut her free. > It was a young lady around her age. Dan: Of course. Tsuneo: Will our mystery guest sign in please? > with short black hair, it > was too dark to tell what color her eyes were but she > thought they looked.red. Tango: But is she beautiful? Is she? Huh? Rebecca: God damn it, these new characters are crawling out of the woodwork. Soon there won't be anything for the original character to do. Tsuneo: There isn't already. > Prof. Otagi: Who are you? Tango: [Mysterious Lady] I am the I that exists in your mind. I'm also selling Hot Dogs. Want one? Dan: Just Mysterious lady. I would've sent Rang but he was busy being shot. > Mysterious Lady: No need for names now, Rebecca: So... the authour hasn't thought one up yet? Tsuneo [Lady]: For the moment, you can call me "Ms. Deus Ex Machina". > just go! Tsuneo: Run, Eva! Run! > Eva followed what she said got up and ran. She stopped and > turned. Tango [Eva]: ...Now what was I doing again? > Prof. Otagi: Uh, where do I go exactly?? Rebecca: Down the hall, 82nd door on the left! > Mysterious lady: Out there! Tsuneo: Where the sun is shining and the sea is calm and the air smells like warm root beer... > She pointed towards an open vent, which she probably crawled > through. Tango: Well you have to otherwise you get decapitated by the spinning fan and all the headcrabs. > Eva crawled out turned to say thank you, but the lady was gone. Rebecca: The crawling in a short skirt was thanks enough for Mysterious Lady. Tsuneo: Back to the plot device pile from whence she came. > She ran as fast as she could of course she had no idea where she > was running to. Dan: She should have picked up the automap device first. > Jay entered the cellar to find Eva missing. Rebecca: [Jay] Oh no, Marissa's gonna kill me for this. > Jay: CINDY! She's gone! > Cindy entered shortly. Tango: What, on her knees? Dan: So she was doing the midget rapper pose then? > Her eyes narrowed but her voice stayed calm. Rebecca: [Cindy] Okay, somebody dies. > Cindy: How did she get out? Dan: Well you did leave the door unlocked and all. Tango: Don't you have any security cameras or anything? What kind of a conspiracy are you? > Jay: I dunno! You tell me! Tsuneo: She burrowed her way out. Dan: Okay, how did she burrow her way out? Tsuneo: She used the little plastic spork we gave her with lunch. > Cindy: I'll go find her. > Jay: Good! You don't get the rest of the money till you do! Rebecca: [Cindy] Hey! I was paid only to deliver her! What happens next is your problem. > Cindy turned and ran out of the house. > Jay stood there frustrated. Rebecca: I mean, copious quantities of beautiful women and he doesn't get any. You would be too. Dan: Yeah, I'd say that's the story of Jay Gordon's life. > Woman: You can't do anything right can you Makashima? > Jay turned. > Jay: Mizuhara! Tsuneo: Can someone explain why they have American Surnames but Japanese heritage names? Or did the author just forget that too? > Lily: Yes that is me, please, you know me enough to call me Lily. Dan: So is Lily the Mysterious Lady or yet another inane new character? > Jay: You know me enough to call me Jay, but you don't. > Lily: Haha, no I don't, but oh well. Rebecca: [Lily] Don't mind me, I'm just blathering on mindlessly. > You lost the girl. Tango: That's right, just rub his nose in it some more. > Jay: I'll get her back. Tsuneo: [Jay] It's just... erm... a *minor* setback... Unh... didn't really need her anyway... > Lily: Haha, the boss isn't going to like this. Dan: [Lily] I just got you fired. Neat, huh? > Jay: I will get her back! > Lily: Ok, ok, whatever you say Makashima. > Jay: I don't see you doing anything to profit the boss. Rebecca: [Lily] apart from clearing out dead weight, that is. > Lily: I will have you know, my connections with Seele have > become quite closer. Tango: [Lily] I'm getting my honorary monolith in two weeks. > And I'm just here to help you! Tsuneo: [Lily] That's why I let your prisoner loose and reported you to the boss. > Jay: And how did you get through to Seele? Dan: [Lily] Knocked on the front door. > Lily: I have my ways. > Lily turned and walked out the door. Her long purple hair > swaying back and forth. Dan: Oh, so she's not the Mysteriously Lady. Thank you for *finally* giving us an identifying feature. Rebecca: Could be a wig. Dan: D'oh! > Lily: I suggest you find her soon. > Jay: I will. Dan: [Jay] And in conclusion, I hate you. > (NERV) > Misato: You guys, if you wanna go home then go ahead. > Shinji: No Misato, we'll stay here and help (yawns) Tango: Shin-boy: The master assembler code debugger and general greasemonkey. I bet he would be really helpful. > Misato: Haha, no you guys go home and get some sleep. Go! Dan: [Shinji] I thought that's what school's there for. > Asuka: Ok, ok.(yawns) > Misato: You guys want me to call cabs? Rebecca: [Shinji] No, that's ok. The last time we did our driver took us back to your place via Tokyo 2. > Isamu: No, we'll be fine walking home. Dan: It'll take 10 hours and 14 security checks, but we're fine. Tsuneo: It's only three AM, nothing to worry about. Tango: Except that Asuka just pitched over. > Misato: Rei you too? > Rei: I'll be fine Misato. Dan: [Rei] I'll just crawl off to my dark, damp hole. Rebecca: [Rei] I don't need your help, old hag. Tsuneo: [Misato] What did you say? Rebecca: [Rei] ... > Shinji: I'll walk her home don't worry. Tango: [Shinji] It's not like I've got anything better to do. Rebecca: Oh yes, the brave, strong and manly Shinji will protect Rei from danger... [She bursts out laughing] > Misato: Ok then, night guys. (yawns) > Isamu: You gonna be ok Misato? > Misato: Don't worry about me. Tango: [Misato] I have the pink elephant to ward off the monsters. > The kids headed out the door as Ritsuko walks in. Rebecca: [Ritsuko] At last! Alone together! > Misato: Hey anything yet? Dan: [Ritsuko] Well, I still can't beat XAN yet, but I can get 12 frags against him. > Ritsuko yawns: No.I've never come up with anything like this. Rebecca: So she's never tried to jam the Evas before? Tsuneo: Yes, given how safe and reliable they are. > If Prof. Otagi were here, she might be able to help but. Rebecca: Yeah, she could easily pull a plot contrivance out of her ass and save the flipping day. Tango: Have they tried reinstalling Windows. Yes? Have they tried upgrading to Linux? > Misato: Yeah I know, she's missing. Dan: Ya reckon? Gee, we hadn't noticed. > (sighs) I sure hope she's ok. > Ritsuko: I know, me too. Dan: IfyaknowhatImean. > Misato: Coffee? > Ritsuko: Yeah, I'm gonna need it. > (School) Rebecca: So they're at school in the middle of the night? > Shinji and Rei yawned as they sat at the lunch table. Tsuneo: Guess they don't like the corn bread either. Tango: Hey, Rei! Do the thing with the knife! > Rei: I didn't get very much sleep last night. Dan: Didn't we have this scene already? Rebecca: Yeah, but that was with Isamu and Asuka. This is Rei and Shinji. > Shinji: I know, nether did I. Ha, almost fell asleep walking > home after I dropped you off. Rebecca: [Shinji] That's why I had to *stay* the night, nudge, wink. Dan: The conversation with Rei wasn't exactly riveting. > Rei: Haha, you should have just went home. Tango: She doesn't like you. I don't like you either! I have the death sentence in twelve systems! Tsuneo: Er... I hope you're just quoting. > Shinji: Nah, that wouldn't be right to make you walk home > by yourself. Dan: [Shinji] You do it all the time, but what the hell. > Rei: Well thank you sir. Rebecca: Oh I see, Rei's into one of those Master/Slave relationships. It's always the quiet ones. > She smiled at him. > Isamu: Hey guys what ya up to? Tsuneo: Just sitting around, discussing how the plot's going nowhere. > Shinji: Just sitting here being tired. > Asuka yawns: I know the feeling. All: So do we. > Isamu and Asuka sat down at the table. > Asuka: Heard anything about Prof. Otagi? Tsuneo: No! We are not sitting through the magnificent misadventures of Eva again. > Shinji: No.I haven't heard anything. > Asuka: And the Eva units? Tango: They keep saying "Please insert cd "SUDN36GHITQ." This is what happens when you pirate software. > Rei: Nothing there either. > Isamu: This is getting too strange, even for NERV. Tsuneo: Too strange for the organisation that routinely deals with enigmatic alien giants of unknown origin? > Asuka: Yeah, I know. > Just then Rachel comes up to them. Dan: Nothing like the resident sugar buzzer to send the pilots stir crazy. > Rachel: Hey guys! Wow..you all look so tired. What'd you do > last night? Rebecca: [Asuka]: We were playing Unreal Tournament with the "CrotchShot" patch that some person e-mailed me... [Tsuneo, Tango and Dan wince] > Isamu:.work. > Rachel: Oh? At NERV? Dan: No at the overcrowded 6th child orphanage. Where do you think? > Shinji: Yup (yawns) > Rachel: Well.you guys working again today? Tsuneo: No. It's their day off. Angels never attack on a Thursday anyway. > Asuka: Yeah I think so. Tango: Well, its kind of what they're paid for and all. > Rachel: Aw darn, was hoping we could go out. > Asuka: Well hey! We don't go there right away, so maybe we could > grab a bite to eat. Tsuneo: First person to say "hamburgers" dies. Rebecca: Aren't they having lunch right now? Dan: It's the school canteen. That doesn't count as food. > Rei: Yeah we could do that! > Rachel: Great! See yea guys after school then! All [Bored] We can hardly wait. Dan: [Shinji] Remind me, who declared her our official groupie? > Rachel waved and ran off as the bell rang for class. > (After school) > Shinji: (yawns) So, we gotta go to NERV again today? > Rei: Uh huh Tango: That's it, I'm convinced the author is reusing scenes to cut down on the budget. Must be the episode midseason. > Shinji: Aw, man. Another sleepless night. Rebecca: Well if someone didn't keep the stereo on all night.. > Rei: Yup. > Isamu: Another day of sleeping in class. Tango: And this is any different to normal because? Dan: [Rei] Uh-huh. > Rachel: There's no way you guys can, um, take the day off > or something? Rebecca: Y'know I'm surprised Asuka hasn't "accidentally" thrown an angel carcass onto the school yet... > Asuka: Haha, I wish. But this is something we kinda have to do. Tsuneo: You know, saving all of mankind from destruction and all that. Dan: [Rei] Yup. > Rachel: Ohh, bummer. Tango: [Rachel] I don't get to hang with my obsessive fixation! > Asuka: Yeah, I know. Dan: [Rei] Uh-huh. Rebecca: Dan, will you stop that? Dan: Only when she says something worthwhile. Tsuneo: In this fic? Never! > They ended up eating at a new Noodle House that just opened up. Tango: Ramen! Again! > Afterwards, Rachel headed home Rebecca: She was never seen again. > and the pilots headed towards NERV. > As the kids stepped of the elevator they see Misato running up > to them. Dan: [Misato] Watchoutthfloorsjustbeenmoppedaaargh! > Misato: Guys! Eva's here! Dan: What do you know, the major dilemma of the chapter just went and resolved itself. Rebecca: And Isamu's still upright. And breathing. > Isamu: What? Is she okay? Tango: Regrettably. > Asuka: What happened to her? Tsuneo: She was kidnapped by an incompetent conspiracy and rescued by a passing nobody with a pocket knife. You'd think they'd have her locked up or something. Dan: What are you talking about? they've got the latest in rice paper jail insecurity. > Misato: I'll explain more later, for now you guys need to get into > your suits. Hurry up! Rebecca: Oh look, it's our token angel for the day and he's arrived just in time. > They hurried into their plug suits and went to their Eva units. > They sat in silence as they saw Prof. Otagi work on the problem. Dan: So if they're just milling around outside, why the big hurry to get changed? Tango: So the chapter will be over sooner! > Misato: How's it going? > Prof. Otagi: Hmmm, I think I can fix it. Dan: [Eva] I'll need a few fixes and a roll of duct tape. > Misato: Great! > Prof. Otagi: But. > Misato: Eh.but? Rebecca: [Eva] But what the hell caused this problem anyway? Tsuneo: [Misato] We desperately needed to justify your existence. > Prof. Otagi: It's gonna take awhile. > Misato: Well, take all the time you need. We're not going anywhere. Tango: [Misato] It's not like an Angel's suddenly going to attack or anything. Well, what do you know? > Prof. Otagi: Thanks Misato. And.I'll explain everything that > happened to me later. > Misato nodded in agreement. > Prof. Otagi got hard to work at fixing the Evas. Dan: [Eva] Duct tape? Rebecca: [Technician] Duct tape. Dan: [Eva] Brown paper? Rebecca: [Technician] Brown paper. Dan: [Eva] Turkey baster? Rebecca: [Technician] Turkey baster. > She typed away > moving from computer to computer, shouting commands to the workers. Tango: [Eva] You there, start stripping armour from that big knee pad. You, take all this paper and put it somewhere. No, I don't actually need it. You, pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. And you, get me some coffee. > Prof. Otagi: Ritsuko, can you hear me? Dan: [Ritsuko] I'm right next to you. > Ritsuko: Yes. I see the problem you pointed out to me. Don't worry > I'm on it. Tsuneo: But she didn't actually say anything. Rebecca: I think Ritsuko's been classified with the workers and other pond life. > Prof. Otagi: Great. Ok, let's see if we can't get all the Eva's > working at once. Dan: Why not one at a time? Tsuneo: [Eva] Because this method is less efficient and I'm being paid by the hour. > (She turns towards Theresa behind her.) > Commander Khuu? > Theresa: Yes? Dan: [Eva] Do nothing! Rebecca: [Theresa] Right. Typical. Big surprise. > Prof. Otagi: You should get Anne ready. > Theresa: Right! Tsuneo: [Eva] Do we have an EVA for her? Tango: [Theresa] No. Tsuneo: [Eva] So what's she here for? [Tango shrugs] > All the pilots are in their Evas. Dan: Are those the EVAs they couldn't actually get into? Tango: No, those are the EVAs people just randomly wander into. Rebecca: It's simple, they just pressed the button on the foot and they were elevated straight into the cockpit. Tsuneo: Well that's obscure. > Isamu: Uh..if this doesn't work, what do we do? Dan: [Eva] You stay there. We go for coffee. > Misato: You sit there and wait till it does work! Rebecca: They were never seen again. > Isamu: Ok then! Yes ma'am! > Asuka: Hehe, you had to ask. > Shinji: Haha, don't worry, it should work. Tango: Three months later. > Rei: We hope. > Anne: .. Dan: I agree! > Prof. Otagi: Ok! Let's try it! Ritsuko? > Ritsuko: I'm ready! > The Evas were activated and sure enough. Tsuneo: What? Sure enough what? Rebecca: Just sure enough random sign of period fixation. > Maya: All systems go! Yeah! They're working again! Dan & Tango: We did it! We did it! We're covered with injuries and racking up experience points! Promotions! Promotions! Promotions! Rebecca: There is something really wrong with you two. Tsuneo: A winner is you! Rebecca: Never mind. > Misato: Move the Evas into practice ready position! > The next couple of hours were used testing the Eva units. > Everything seemed to work just fine. Tsuneo: How could it not? Eva fixed them. Tango: Just so long as the crazy glue holds together. > Anne's Eva, Unit 4 was ran through some test. Dan: It's back! After a successful tour of under a rock somewhere in Canada... > Misato: You're doing great Anne, keep up the good work. How's > her synch ratio? Rebecca: [Eva] She's hopeless, she's only racked up three thousand percent. Tango: [Maya] Well according to this, she's clinically dead. > Maya: Doing good. She's not quite up there like Isamu was, Dan: Oh my god, someone who's worse off than Isamu. > but she'll pass. Tsuneo: She's only far superior to the main cast. > Misato: Good. All right guys, bring them in. Dan: [Hick] This one's a keeper fer sure! > (Misato's office) > Isamu: I'm pooped.we've never practiced that long before. > Shinji: Well atleast they're working again. Tango: They were successful in their bid to raise their wage to five thirteen an hour. Tsuneo: But the minimum wage is five thirteen an hour. Tango: Yes, and you know who to thank for that. > Misato came in and plopped down in her chair. Rebecca: [Misato] Whoops, sorry, bad habit I picked up from DJ. > Misato: You guys got one more round of training with the evas. Dan: [Misato] Then you'll be ready for the professional league. > Asuka: What!? Why? Tsuneo: Who? How? Where? Tango: Fiberglass? > Rei: I think we need to make sure that this isn't a one time thing > that they're working. > Misato: Good job Rei. Dan: [Misato] You get a cookie. > Anne: Um. Rebecca: Indeed Anne, we couldn't agree more. > Anne was standing in the doorway. Tango: Chainsaw in hand. It's always the quiet ones. > Misato: Anne? It's ok you can come in. Dan: You're only one of the pilots, you know. > She walked in slowly and hesitantly sat down next to Isamu on > the couch. Tsuneo: Don't worry, he doesn't bite, much. > Asuka: Good job today Anne, you were great for a first timer. All: Of course. > Anne: ..thank you. > Shinji: Asuka, you never praised me when I first piloted. Dan: That's because she wasn't even there. > Asuka: It's cause you sucked Shinji, now be quiet. Tsuneo: Ahh... I missed such wonderful characterisation. > Isamu: Hehheh. > Asuka: You too mister. > She smiled. Rebecca: In roughly the same way a dog does before it attacks. Tango: She can roll back her lip and reveal more yellow teeth than anyone I've seen. > Isamu: Yes ma'am! Dan: [Isamu] That's my head again, isn't it? Rebecca: [Asuka] Silence, peon! Dan: [Isamu, small] Yes m'm. > (Later that day) Rebecca: Later in the same scene. > Theresa: So how did you like your first day in an Eva? > Anne: Um..it was fine. > Theresa: Anne? You ok? > Anne: I'm fine. > Theresa: No your not, what's wrong? Dan: [Anne] Nothing. I always talk like this. Old hag. > Anne: The other kids.how will I fit in? Tango: Take a look at them. You'll fit in fine. > Theresa sighed. She knew something like this would happen. Rebecca: Is it time for *that* talk? Tsuneo: You see Anne, when a mummy test tube and a daddy test tube love each other very much... > She knew > Anne, she lived a life being on the outside, never fitting in with > the other kids. Dan: Are you kidding? That introverted, antisocial attitude is really "in" nowadays. She'll hit it off with Kensuke instantly. Tango: If all else fails, she can just hang around Rachel, the human sugar buzz. Tsuneo: Rachel likes everyone. To a disturbing degree. > She never really had the chance too since she was > always moving around. Rebecca: One minute she's in the corner, then she's out in the hall, then she's back in the corner again. > When she came into Theresa's hands they got > to know each other and Theresa realized she wasn't as shy as she > looked. Rebecca: They got to know each other *really* well. > Theresa: You're going to fit in fine. These kids are nice, they're > not just gonna ignore you. Tango: [Theresa] See, look at the way they murder each other. Isn't it cute? > Anne: I guess.you're right. Rebecca [Theresa]: My right? Dan: She's always right. > Theresa: Yes I am, now lets get home and get some rest too. I don't > know about your but I'm tired. > Anne smiled: Yeah, I could use a nap and some lunch? Tsuneo: Um... lunch? Wasn't this after school or something? Isn't it the middle of the night by now? > Theresa: Good idea! > While walking Theresa accidentally bumps into someone, someone from > her past. Rebecca: A DNPC? > Theresa: You.Anne, you go ahead and I'll meet you at home. Tango: It sounds like she's reading from a cue card or something. > Anne: Um..ok.. Rebecca [Anne]: I get the feeling that I've just been written out without even contributing. Big surprise. > Theresa smiled at her reassuringly: I just wanna talk to my old > friend here. Tsuneo: Oh look, it's innocent bystander man. > Anne: Yes ma'am. > She turned and kept walking. Tsuneo: Run, Anne. Run. Don't look back. > Jay: Dan: Jay? What's Jay doing here? Shouldn't he be trying to take over the world or something? Tsuneo: He's trying to find new people to be incompetent towards. Rebecca: Marissa let him live. > That your daughter or something? Tango: I'll go for "something". > Theresa looked at her old friend, whom she hadn't seen for > about 4 years. Rebecca: Since they were both in the kids crew together. Tsuneo: And they just happened to meet while she was walking through NERV? Dan: We don't know that they're still in NERV. They could be walking home. They could be on Mars for all we know. Tsuneo: A bit of information would be nice every now and then. > Theresa: No, but I'm taking care of her. > Jay: Heh, always the caring one Tee, Rebecca: Jay and Tee, the Alphabet gang. Dan: Maybe they're both Gendo's MiBs. > so how have you been? > Theresa: Fine Jay. What are you doing here? Dan: Walking. > Jay: Business. > Theresa: Like always. > Jay: You look great. Tsuneo: This conversation is just that good. > Theresa: Well I get a lot of exercise in my line of work. > Jay: And that is? > Theresa: Stuff. Rebecca: You know... saving the world, blowing up angels, introducing uberkids, handing up arbitrary orders. You know, stuff. Tsuneo: Yes walking between monitors and shouting things is so taxing. > Jay: Haha, you were always so blunt with information. Tango: No, being blunt would be saying "I work for a secret organisation which has these cool gaint robots piloted by uberkids that go WA-TAK WA-TAK WA-TAK!" > Theresa: Same to you. Rebecca: I couldn't agree more. Tsuneo: So, to summarise... Business and... stuff. > His cellular phone rang. > Jay: Hello? Yes.no sir. Yes, right away sir, I'm on my way. > Theresa: Your boss? > Jay: No my wife. Dan: You call your wife "sir?" Rebecca: With Marissa, it's pretty much the same thing. > He smirked. > Theresa: Funny. > Jay: I know. Well I gotta get going, duty calls. Dan [Jay]: I've got a conspiracy to run ineptly! > Theresa: See ya. > She turned to leave. > Jay: It was nice seeing you again Tee. Dan [Jay]: Especially since you turned around. > Theresa:.you too. > Jay: Dinner? > Theresa: I don't think so Jay. Rebecca [Theresa]: I remember you saying something about a wife. Dan [Jay]: Oh that... never mind that. > Jay: Ok. Bye. > He walked over to his car and drove off. > Theresa sighed and headed home. Tsuneo: Well that was a waste of time. > (NERV) > Misato: So.let me get this straight. You were kidnapped by > people you don't know because you used your powers in front > of everyone here at NERV? Tsuneo: To summarise the last two chapters... yes. Tango: Actually, they kidnapped her because of all the unpaid library fines she has. > Prof. Otagi: Yup.. > Misato: But who. Rebecca: I'll say SEELE. Tsuneo: I'll say Gendo. Dan: I'll say the goofy monsters of the week. Tango: I'll say the Parents and Teachers Association. > Prof. Otagi: I have an idea.but I'm not sure. > Misato: Who do you think it is? Rebecca: The Cigarette Smoking Man! > Prof. Otagi: .my father. Dan: Darth Vader?! > Misato: What.? > They were both quiet a moment. Tango: Alright, who let fly? > Prof. Otagi: You see, Misato. After my accident with the Eva, Dan: Oh, so it trod on you too? > my father became obsessed with trying to use me as a.weapon. Rebecca [Eva]: Not that I had any use as one. Tsuneo: I dunno, he could take over the world with her amazing inanity. > But my mom wouldn't hear of it, thank god. Mom and dad divorced. Tsuneo [Eva]: They fought over who didn't get to keep me. > I still loved.love him, he's my dad. Rebecca: This is touching. I think I'm going to die. > But every time I saw him he just wanted to perform tests. Dan [Eva]: Dad, can we go to the park today? Tango: Not now, I still have a few more pipes to stick into you. > He said it was a game. Tango: Hey honey, want to play "Ritual Disembowelment" again? > course I > didn't believe him, but I went along with it because it seemed > that work was the only thing that made him happy. Tango: That and his collection of singing potatoes. > Misato: Wow..Eva, this is a lot to take in. Why are you telling > me all this? Rebecca: Because she had to buy up 200 points of disadvantages and they're all coming out at once. > Prof. Otagi: Oh..well..I don't know really. I trust you I guess heh. Tsuneo: Last mistake you'll ever make. Rebecca: Just wait till she gets drunk and blabs it to everyone. > She gave a small smile to Misato. > Misato: Thanks Eva. > She put her hand on her shoulder. Dan: It's a Kodak moment. > Misato: I'm sure everything will be ok. We'll solve all this. Tango: We'll use the amazing power of WAFF. Dan: If that fails, they can go on Springer. > Eva nodded. > Prof. Otagi: I hope we do. Rebecca: Enough touchy feely crap. I wanna hurt something. > To be continued. Dan: Yes, but can we have some Fan Service? > Ok ok! I know I haven't been writing a lot eheh.. All: We don't mind. > but I've been kinda busy with school and all..so. Dan: Wait for it... wait for it... > I'm TRYING hard to write lots > more. I got this idea I wanna get out but I wanna work it in slowly Tsuneo: So we'll get a lot more short chapters in which nothing happens. > ^_^ So please stay tuned for more stories.I hope.eheh..bye now! Eva [The TV switches off] Dan: And... It's over? Rebecca: Did it ever start? Tango: I don't know, I slept all through it. Tsuneo: You were awake! Tango: No, I can sleep-riff. Say, where did the purple weasels go? Rebecca: Go back to sleep. Voice: Before that, I'll need his review. Tango: Well, this story was a change from it's predecessors in that it was just nothing. It didn't even have copious amounts of WAFF. It was probably the least interesting chapter so far, but I shall continue to read it in the vain hope that SOMEONE does SOMETHING! Dan: What got me is all the really bland characters. I mean, you can classify them all in a couple of words. Let's see... Cindy, sinister; Theresa, gentle; Anne, quiet; Eva... Um... There. You see? They're all totally uninteresting. And since they're pushing out the regular characters and dominating the whole story, that makes it all really dull. Rebecca: This one came over to me as more of an outline of a fic than an actual finished chapter. All the scenes seemed to be written as rough outlines of what was meant to happen, rather than completed scenes. Likewise with the dialogue. It was all done in a bare minimum kind of way that got over what was needed for the scene, but didn't go beyond that. The semi-script, semi-prose format doesn't help any either. Tsuneo: One thing that bugs me is that the characters have to all be so special. I mean, there's Isamu with his twisted background and "something wrong," there's Anne with no name, there's EVA's funky powers and all... Basically, the story relies on the characters being special rather than being, well, characters. Then there's Rachel and Theresa, both of whom come over as direly uninteresting, simply because they don't really have personalities. Rebecca: Well I don't know about you, but I'm pretty eager to get out of here. [She stands and walks over to the door] Say, how long have we had this Death Star-door thingie? Voice: Oh, I just had it installed. Tsuneo: Why? Voice: [Vague mutter] Dan: I didn't quite catch that voice. Voice: [Hushed whisper] Rebecca: Sorry, can I have that again? Voice: It was to stop Rick from doing that! Tango: Fat lot of good it did you. Rebecca: Fine. Can we go now, or do I have to set Tango loose? Tango: Ooh, set me loose, set me loose! Tsuneo: Is this such a good idea? Rebecca: Well it's your choice... Er... I don't think he's going to hold. [Tango leaps up from the couch and dashes straight at - and through - the new door. They cluster around the door frame.] Dan: What do you know, it was made of balsa wood. Tsuneo: I guess the budget ran out again. [They leave. The screen goes blank.] Voice: That's it, the old door goes back. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) and Twin Cannon (ausmax@ihug.com.au) Tango is copyright 1997-2000 "TS" Eliot (Twin Cannon) Dan and Tsuneo are copyright 1995-2000 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley is copyright 1995-2000 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. The Evacorp Network: evacorp.cyril.com One of the largest Eva sites in the world, contains a thousand and one reasons why stories like this are utterly impossible evafiction.animecenter.com More EVA fanfics than you can poke a stick at. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- > Shinji: Asuka, you never praised me when I first piloted. > Asuka: It's cause you sucked Shinji, now be quiet. > Isamu: Hehheh. > Asuka: You too mister.