------------------------------------------------------------------------ Episode 143 is the second half of an incredibly long-named KoF fic. I won't Even try and repeat it. King of Fighters is copyright SNK/Playmore/Eolith/Someone The King of Fighters 2001 Female Fighters Story EX: Part 2- Burning Heart Explosion! The New Female Fighters Team Is Formed (breathe) is copyright Ben Jonas --------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette. A miniature zeppelin floats around the apartment.] [Gem and Tsuneo enter the apartment] Gem: I didn't know you guys were a King of Fighters team. Tsuneo: Yeah. We've entered as "Team Elmer" three times now. We were going to enter this year, but we've lost one of our team members. Gem: What, did Mature and Vice kill him? Tsuneo: No, he flew off in a wooden packing crate full of hamdingers. Gem: You are kidding me, right? [Rebecca and Dan enter] Rebecca: No, he's not. Dan: We were all there. I helped stuff him in. Gem: That's not what I mean. Tsuneo: I never said we got terribly far. Gem: Hang on, what qualifications do you have to join the KOF tournament anyway? Dan: Ask Team America. Gem: Ah. Rebecca: Actually, it was all Dan's idea. Dan: I posted myself as a grappler. I couldn't wait to take on the women's team. Rebecca: Basically, he was looking for any excuse to grope Mai and dragged us into it. Gem: So what's any of this got to do with me? Dan: Because our fourth team member sailed out the window- Rebecca: And over the city- Dan: In a wooden packing crate- Rebecca: I think I saw it catch on fire- Dan: That could have just been the engines- Tsuneo: We were hoping we could convince you to join us for this year's tournament. Gem: Now I know you're joking. Dan: We were going to ask some of the other people we had in temping, but it never occurred to us. Rebecca: Dan was afraid to ask Celena. Gem: Celena? Dan: Yeah, she's really tall, really muscular and has really huge- Gem: I get the picture. Rebecca: Well I say we should have asked Tango. Tsuneo: NO! Rebecca: But he's really strong. Tsuneo: NO! Rebecca: He's nearly indestructible. Tsuneo: Do you remember what happened last time we took him anywhere? Do you remember going paintballing with him? Rebecca: Well I think that's a good enough qualification. Gem: What happened? Dan: He attacked his own team. Suplexed me into a tree and tried to twist my head off. Gem: I thought you said it was paintball. Dan: Yeah, funny that. Gem: Right. So do you guys have a team specialty? Rebecca: Mediocrity. Tsuneo: Flailing wildly and hoping. Dan: Poses and taunting! Gem: Say... what? Dan: I can... POSE AND TAUNT! Rebecca: Oh no... not this again. [He strikes a heroic pose] Dan: Fear me evildoers for I are Dan the bestest! [He strikes another heroic pose] Dan: God of fighting? Only so-so! [He strikes yet another heroic pose] Dan: Your fish are strong but your skillz are week! [He strikes another heroic pose, stupider than before] Dan: I like pie! [He strikes a stupidly heroic pose] Dan: GUPPY! All: ... Dan: So what do you think? Gem: The SNKglish is a nice touch. Dan: I thought it would add to the ambience of the whole thing. Gem: Okay. Right. My hopes for this team are fading fast. Tsuneo: I know the feeling. Gem: So, uh, how would I fit in? Do you guys use any special double-team moves? Rebecca: We've got the "Dan special." Gem: This bodes. Dan: I grab the opponent and signal to Rebecca- Rebecca: Usually with a lewd comment. Dan: Then she runs in and attacks. Rebecca: I try to hit him, but he blocks with the opponent. Gem: Does it work? Tsuneo: Occasionally Dan's not fast enough with the opponent and Rebecca ends up beating him up instead. Gem: That's a bit of a problem. Rebecca: Not really. It means I get to hit Dan some more. Gem: I see. Right. And how well has this team done in past tournaments? Rebecca: Um... Dan: Er... Gem: Finals? Dan: Not quite. Gem: Semi-finals? Rebecca: Nearly. Tsuneo: You're getting warmer. Gem: Quater finals? Dan: Not quite. Gem: Eliminated in the first round? Rebecca: Not even that. Gem: Say... what? Tsuneo: We've entered three times. The first two times we got lost on the way to the first round and thus forfeited. Gem: And the third? Tsuneo: Rick, our fourth man filed to show and we were disqualified. Gem: I see. This team sucks. Rebecca: We did better than the B Team. Gem: I dread the thought. Dan: They sank. Gem: ... Voice: Good morning. Rebecca: And good morning to you, Orochi. Voice: I saw that one coming a mile away. Gem: Does that mean he'll randomly bring me back to life. Dan: But you're not dead. Gem: Not yet, but I think this fic will fix that. Tsuneo: I'm wondering what more could happen in this fic. Rebecca: Random people are introduced and form teams? Tsuneo: A fair bet. [They sit, Dan and Gem on the forwards couch, Rebecca and Tsuneo on the other one. Tsuneo and Gem are closest at the corners.] Dan: What do you think would have happened if Mature and Vice had asked first? Gem: I don't know, but it'd be less painful. [The TV switches on] >A short time later, outside of a basketball court... >Kula: Hey, look! It's Terry Bogard and Blue Mary Ryan! >Chris: And there's Andy Bogard and Joe Higashi! Rebecca: [Rolls dice] And a half-dozen kobolds. >Shingo: HEY! TERRY! Gem: Hello Random People! >Terry Bogard: *looks over at the Gekiganger 4 team* Hi Kids! Tsuneo: [Chris] Who are you calling a kid? Why does everyone call me a kid? Dan: [Terry] Because you are a kid? Tsuneo: [Chris] Puberty sucks. >Andy Bogard: What the?! Kula Diamond? What's she doing with those kids? Dan: Random stupid question, but are they wandering around in their fighting outfits? Rebecca: You mean, are a mob of kids wearing a traditional Japanese outfit, a Japanese school uniform and a purple leather bodysuit walking casually down the street? Tsuneo: Ironically, Chris is the normal one. >Blue Mary Ryan: And more importantly, why are Shingo Yabuki, Chris, and >Kasumi Todoh alongside her? Rebecca: Don't you know? It's a buddy movie. >Joe Higashi: Who cares? Gem: I'm with him. >They probably met each other at a fishing hole and >decided to team up for the heck of it. >Blue Mary: Yeah, right. Like anyone would believe that story. All: Har har har. >Terry: What are you four doing out here? Gem: [Kula] Slumming. Dan: [Terry] Tell me about it. Rebecca: They're busy trying to figure out why Chris. Tsuneo: Why Chris what? Rebecca: No, just why Chris. >Shingo: Well, it all started when Kasumi and I went fishing earlier this >morning. About an hour later, we... Dan: [Joe] Hah! Pay up! Rebecca: [Mary] Stupid ferking... >Joe: Wait a second! You and Kasumi went fishing? I think you two did more than >just fish. Way more! Rebecca: [Joe] I think you cleaned and scaled as well! >Blue Mary: Sounds like a love connection to me. Dan: And that sounds like a song cue! Gem: If this becomes a musical, I'm walking. >Shingo *embarrassed*: NO! It wasn't like that! I swear! >Andy: Ah, young love. Gem: Don't bother objecting, they've already made up their minds. >Please continue, Shingo. >Shingo: Anyways, an hour later, Chris came on by and decided to fish >alongside us. Rebecca: In case you missed the first half of the fic... >Terry: Chris, welcome back from the dead. >Chris: Thanks. Tsuneo: [Chris] I was waiting for someone to notice. Rebecca: [Mary] So are you over that whole 'possessed by the Orochi' thing? Tsuneo: [Chris] Oh yeah. I promise to never- Dan: DRINK THE BLOOD OF THE VIRGIN! Tsuneo: [Chris] -again. >Shingo: Sometime after that, Kula dropped on in. Then, the four of us decided >to form our own team, and we ended up naming ourselves the Gekiganger 4 team. >Terry, Andy, and Mary stared at Joe in disbelief. Rebecca: Yeah, I'm with them. >Joe: See? I told you I was right! Gem: [Mary] First time for everything. >Andy: Something still bothers me. Chris, Kula, what happened to your old >teammates? Dan: One word: Guppy! >Chris: Shermie and Yashiro kicked me off in favor of putting Vice and Mature >on their team. Tsuneo: Who can blame them? Dan: Now if only we could get rid of Yashiro... Gem: [Slaps Dan] Pervert. >Kula: My teammates wouldn't stop laughing at me, so I left. Rebecca: There, there. Just show how good you are by taking over the world without them. >Andy: Ouch! Being laughed at AND getting kicked off of your respective teams >is never a good thing. Dan: How would you know, Andy? It's never happened to you. Gem: Just because no other team would take him. >Terry: Hey, Shingo! What are you doing here in America? Dan: [Terry] Stuff that, what's Chris doing there alive? >Shingo: Kusanagi-san threatened to kill me after I accidentally ruined his >girlfriend's mural, so I fled the country. Tsuneo: And quite frankly, who can blame him? Gem: His mother, who he stole the money off? >Terry: I can see why. Get that boy angry, and he'll fry you like a piece of >bacon. Dan: Right now Shingo should realise why Iori doesn't have any obsessive stalkers. >Blue Mary: Hey Kula! Nice shades! Where'd you get them? >Kula: I took them from K' when he tried to perform his Chain Driver attack on >me. Tsuneo: But weren't you guys waiting around for him... to... Oh, forget it. >Joe: HA! HA! That anti-social jerk deserved it! >Kula: Hey! Don't insult K' like that! Gem: Make fun of his name instead. Tsuneo: [K9999] HAH! What a stupid name! >He's a sweet guy! >Joe: Yeah, whatever. >Terry: Hey kids! You up for a game of b-ball? Dan: Basketball? Baseball? Rebecca: In SNKglish, who knows? >Kula: I'm game! >Chris: Same here! >Kasumi: I want in! >Shingo: Sure, why not? Kusanagi-san always beats me in this game, anyways. Dan: Hey, a bunch of adults are taking on a bunch of kids. Isn't this a bit unfair? Rebecca: Yeah, but Shingo promises to go easy on them. >Terry: Awesome! The name of the game is "21". First team to score twenty-one >points wins. It's as simple as that. >Joe: Let's take these kids to school! >Blue Mary: Class is in session! Dan: [Shingo] Miss Mary? Can I be excused? I need to go. >A few seconds later, the game got underway. The competition proved to be a >fairly intense battle of the boards. Gem: Shingo bouncing off the sideboard, Shingo smacking into the floorboards, Shingo getting hit with the backboard... Rebecca: Pity they were playing Basketball instead. >Sadly, no matter how much effort the >Gekiganger 4 team put into their game, they were no match for the street- >smart Fatal Fury team, who railed them 21-14 (thanks to a game-winning 3- >pointer by Blue Mary Ryan). Tsuneo: See, this is what happens when you put together a team of D-listers. >After the game... >Joe: I guess it's true what they say: white kids CAN'T jump! HAHAHAHA!! Tsuneo: Joe, look at the rest of your team. >Blue Mary: You guys were like Twinkies: golden on the outside, white and gooey >on the inside. Rebecca: So throw them to Rugal to distract him before you finish them off. >Andy: Nice game. Let's do it again sometime, when you learn how to jump. >Terry: Thanks for the exercise, kids. We're heading off to the Pao Pao Café to >celebrate. Care to join us? >Shingo: No thanks. Kasumi actually recommended a good place to us. Thanks >anyways, though. Gem: I think Kasumi was looking for a place where she could afford to be seen in public with the rest of her team. >Terry: My pleasure. Good luck at the King of Fighters 2001 tournament, Team >Gekiganger 4. See ya! >Kula: Bye guys! Gem: Pointless. Why was that scene even there? Dan: Because he hadn't put the REAL heroes in this fic yet! >Chris: So, where's this place you wanted us to go? >Kasumi: About four blocks to the left of here. >Shingo: Let's roll! Rebecca: [Kasumi] Can't you think of your own catchphrase? Dan: [Shingo] I'm trying! >The Gekiganger 4 team headed off to the restaurant Kasumi wanted to go to. >Meanwhile, a few blocks away, at the Illusions Bar & Grill: >King: ... and that's what happened to me this morning. Gem: I'd say that qualifies as one of those 'shouldn't have gotten out of bed' days. >Mai Shiranui: Rebecca: Dan, don't sit too close to the TV. You'll go blind. >Geez! Who would've thought that the Orochi gang would suddenly >take a big interest in you? >Chizuru: I'm not surprised, quite frankly. That's not the first time they've >tried to lure someone not of Orochi blood into their ranks. They tried the >same thing once to Shingo Yabuki (with hilariously disastrous results). Dan: [Shingo] I am... THE WIENER OF DARKNESS! Rebecca: Hey, after having Orochi possess Chris, how much self-esteem can they have left? >I'm even less surprised that they came back from the dead. Tsuneo: Yeah, we've been wondering about that. >Before dissolving into >oblivion, Orochi said that he would do two things: one, revive a few of his >followers, Dan: Um... why? Gem: Because this festering heap of a fic wouldn't work otherwise. >and two, keep the show Friends on the air for another nine seasons. >King: That monster! How could he do such a terrible thing? Keeping Friends >alive for nine more years, that's just wrong! Tsuneo: ... Rebecca: Ah, these kooky elder gods... >Mai: Well, at least you two had a more interesting morning that I did. All I >did was cook dinner, clean my apartment, Gem: Mai cook and clean for herself? You mean she actually made an effort? Rebecca: Okay, so she just dumped everything in the sink and put on a microwave dinner. Happy? >get some exercise, and chase after >Andy. As it turned out, the guy whom I was chasing wasn't Andy, but some >fellow named Jack Raiden. Boy, was my face red when I found out I was >following the wrong guy. Tsuneo: Is this actually going anywhere? Rebecca: Nah, Mai's just filling up space. Dan: She's good at that. [Gem hits him with a cushion] >King: I bet that must've been embarrassing. Anyways, with Xiangfei and Hinako >D.O.A., I need three new teammates for the King of Fighters 2001 tournament. Gem: So it's still the women's team, even though it's only got one member? Mature and Vice are having this real 'flow-on' effect, aren't they? Rebecca: It's a team in potentia. >Mai: Count me in. I want to get back at Andy for leaving me off of his >team. >How could he do this to me, twice no less? Dan: He's gay? Tsuneo: He just doesn't like you? Gem: He prefers a *real* woman? Rebecca: Bitter? Gem: Very. >King: I don't know. Probably because he finds Blue Mary Ryan less distracting >than you. Dan: Not in that top! [Gem hits him with a cushion] Rebecca: Try leading with the zipper edge. >Mai: HEY!! >Chizuru: Sure, why not. It'll be like a few years ago, when we used to be a >team. Plus, it'll be great not having to worry about the resurrection of >Orochi anymore. Tsuneo: He's dead for sure this time! Ha ha ha! >King: Fantastic! Now all we need to do is find a fourth team member. Rebecca: You could try calling up a temp agency. Dan: [Saisyu] Saisyu Kusanagi here. I'm ready and willing to be your new team member! Gem: [King] Um... You're a man. Dan: [Saisyu] Please! I've been out of work for years! I need another chance! Gem: [King] Well, this is the *female* team. Dan: [Saisyu] I could pad out my shirt and wear a wig! Gem: [King] We'll call you. >Chizuru: Leave that to me. You can come out now, Rosa. >Out of the shadows emerged Rosa Himura (from Kizuna Encounter), Rebecca: Well there's a perfectly random run-in. Why didn't the authour just break up another team to supply a new member? Dan: Then we'd have Mary on the women's team, and Yamazaki fills in for her on the Fatal Fury team, but Terry leaves because he can't stand Yamazaki and Joins K's team, but that displaces Maxima who really needs to find a new team so he joins the Kyokugen team and... Rebecca: Dan, are you okay? Dan: I just saw the way the world ends. >a young, yet >hardened rebel leader from the island nation of Jipang. Rosa's sudden >appearance startled King and Mai. Tsuneo: They're not the only ones. Gem: Can I ask a question? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE? Dan: Desperately seeking employment? >King *shocked*: WAH!! Where did you come from?!? Rebecca: [Rosa] Daddy did a nasty thing with mummy, and nine months later... >Rosa Himura: I've been here the entire time. Dan: Who do you think you are, ambassador Kosh? >Mai: But how...?!? >Rosa: Cloaking device. *removes cloaking device attached to her belt and shows >it to King and Mai* Pretty cool, huh? You can thank Chizuru here for providing >me with one of those cool devices. You can also thank her associates for >getting me out of Jipang and into Southtown. Rebecca: Hang on, Jipang? Tsuneo: Run it backwards through your SNKglish machine. Rebecca: Japan? >*cue flashback (and dramatic music)* Dan: Not another backstory attack! Gem: Is there anything in this fic apart from flashbacks and pointless interludes? >Rosa *as narrator*: Rebecca: [Rosa] Vietnam, 1968. It was during the Tet offensive. My men were pinned down in Hue... >Two days ago, in a mountainous area somewhere in the >middle of Jipang, my troops and I were on the attack against King Lion's army. >They had taken the local citizenry hostage, and had them holed up inside of a >giant bunker. Gem: Remind me, where in Japan is all this happening? Dan: It's not Japan, it's Jipang. Gem: My bad. Dan: Jipang is like Japan, only with more feudal warlords and bad spelling. >After making our way over the mountainous terrain, we found >ourselves in the midst of Lion territory. Tsuneo: The safari guide pointed it out. His last words were "This is lion countraaag." >Eventually, we were outside the >perimeter of the bunker, but just as we were about to take our first steps >into the compound, about a hundred of King Lion's soldiers appeared from >the skies, from underneath the ground, and from inside the compound. Gem: Somehow he'd managed to hide an entire armoured division in an outdoor Toilet. >From there, a >huge melee/fire fight began. It was my 10 against King Lion's 100, Rebecca: Even though they were grossly outnumbered, they were the heroes so victory was certain. >and the >odds were made all the worse since fighter jet pods encircled the skies >above Rebecca: It's an army of Cobra-surplus Trouble Bubbles. [Tsuneo twitches] >(and we had no air support). I took down at least 10 of them before my >compatriots and I were overwhelmed. Just as things looked grim for us, Tsuneo: Is that grim before or after you were overwhelmed? Dan: Well first we were grossly outnumbered and the enemy had air support. Then it got really bad. >a >Stinger missile came out of nowhere and nailed one of the jet pods. From >there, the unseen target laid waste to the rest of the pods, and soon after >starting mowing down King Lion's forces via it's mounted laser cannons. The >unknown ship then deactivated its cloaking device, Tsuneo: Isn't this kind of technology just a little ridiculous? Rebecca: Shh. >revealing itself to be an >unmarked drop ship, and descended to right above where I was. The door to said >drop ship opened up, and out emerged a rope ladder. Dan: Sorry about that! Our tractor beam's on the fritz. >Inside the vehicle, I could hear a voice shouting my name. Gem: Come into the light... Come into the light! >KGI Operative 1: Are you Rosa Himura? Rebecca: Deny everything! >Rosa: Yes I am. >KGI Operative 1: Get in! My boss wants to meet you. Tsuneo: Say, where did Chizuru get this fantastic high-tech dropship from anyway? >Rosa: Why should I trust you? >KGI Operative 1: We just saved you and your friends' lives, didn't we? Gem: [Rosa] It could be a trap. Dan: [Operative] It's not a trap. Gem: [Rosa] How do I know it's not a trap? Dan: [Operative] Because I said it wasn't. Gem: [Rosa] Why should I trust what you say? Dan: [Operative] We just saved you and your friends' lives, didn't we? >Rosa: I guess that's reason enough for me. *to one of the rebel soldiers* >Think you guys will be all right without me for a while? Tsuneo: [Soldier] Uh, we were in the middle of a mission. Gem: [Rosa] Good boys. I knew I could count on you. >Rebel Soldier 1: Don't worry. We've been in worse scrapes without you before. >We'll be fine. We'll keep the homes fires burning while you're gone. Dan: So she left her rebel troops to... What, hang out in a coffee shop? Rebecca: It's a hard life, but she's forced herself to do it. >Rosa: Thanks a bunch, Akers! While I'm gone, you'll be in charge of my >battalion. Gem: [Rosa] Or what's left of it. Tsuneo: [Soldier] Thank you, mam- AARGH! Gem: [Rosa] Oh dear. Oh well, who else wants to be in charge? >Rosa *as narrator*: I grabbed ahold of the rope ladder and was pulled up into >the ship. As the door closed to the drop ship, I bid farewell to my fellow >freedom fighters. Seconds later, we took off, headed for an unknown >destination. >Rosa: So, where are we headed, Mr. Uh.... *looks at nametag* Jenkins? Dan: [Jenkins] Home, milady. >Jenkins: We're going to the headquarters of the western branch of Kagura >Global Industries, located in Southtown, California, U.S.A. Gem: [Rosa] And what does this company do that requires a high-tech, heavily armed invisible dropship? Dan: [Jenkins] That's classified, mam. Gem: [Rosa] And why were you called out here to retrieve me in the middle of an operation? Dan: [Jenkins] I'm sorry, but that's classified too. Gem: [Rosa] And exactly who was it that sent for me, anyway? Dan: [Jenkins] Look lady, I'm just the doorman, okay? They don't tell me squat. >Rosa *thinking to herself*: America, huh? I haven't been there since my father >sent me over there four years ago to complete my training. Rebecca: Are we going to go to a flashback in a flashback? Tsuneo: I hope not. >Rosa *as narrator*: We arrived in Southtown a few hours later, and shortly >thereafter, landed on the roof of the Kagura Global Industries Building, Dan: Pay no attention to the heavily armed dropship landing on the roof! Tsuneo: Of course not, it's invisible. Dan: Well that's okay then. >where I met up with the big boss herself, Chizuru Kagura. >*end flashback (and dramatic music)* Rebecca: Where did that music come from? Gem: [King] Sorry, had my walkman on too loud. Is she done with her sob story yet? >Chizuru: Initially, I was looking for a new bodyguard. Having looked up her >data file (thanks to information supplied to me by a few of my operatives in >Jipang), I knew my search was at an end. Her credentials (defeating the >tyrannical King Lion and Jyazu with the help of only one other person) were >very impressive, to say the least. So I made her my new bodyguard. Dan: So it didn't bother you that you were pulling her out of the middle of an operation and leaving her men behind? Rebecca: [Chizuru] I hadn't thought about that, actually. >Rosa: Thankfully, I'm not working all hours of the day; I only do the day >shift. During my time off, I get to stay in a posh luxury apartment room, walk >around town, and see the sights. Gem: [Rosa] And get attacked by muggers and shot at by random drive-bys. It's just like back in the warzone. >And that's my story. Rebecca: [Mai] Zzzz. Gem: [King] Zzzz. >Mai: Wow! That was some story. >King: Impressive, but if you want to be our teammate, you must prove your >worth. Dan: How do you get onto their team anyway? Rebecca: I think you ask politely. >Rosa: *pulls out sword* See this sword? *unsheathes sword* It's seen more >battles than you guys have had dates. Gem: [King] That's not nice. >See these marks? *points to different marks* Tsuneo: [Rosa] This means I can't maintain it properly. >This one's from my battle against King Lion, the one above it is from >when I fought Jyazu, Dan: That's nice, but who the hell are these people? Rebecca: Jyazu and King Lion. Duh. >and this one I got when I single-handedly took on 100 of King Lion's >lackeys. Tsuneo: So why didn't you do that in the flashback? Gem: [Rosa] There was somebody watching. >Mai: Amazing! You weren't kidding when you said you fought a lot with that >sword. >King: That's all fine and good, but in order to deem yourself worthy of being >on our team, you must become *in dramatic tone*: THE LORD OF THE RING!!! All: ... >King pressed a button hidden underneath the bar's counter, and the floors on >the left-hand side of the bar opened up to reveal a medium-sized wrestling >ring, which elevated into place. All: ... >Mai: WHOA! When did you have that thing installed? Gem: [King] Same time as I signed you up for the Variable Geo tournament. >King: About two weeks ago. It was my boss's idea; he said it would help draw >customers if they could fight each other for money. Tsuneo: Nothing helps draw the customers than the chance someone will beat them up. >I also use it when I'm not >working, just so that I can get some exercise in during the day. Rebecca: I don't see how that helps. >Rosa: So, I have to fight one of you to get on the team? Dan: Can we make it a skin to win match? Please? Gem: Going against Mai in a skin to win match is unfair. Rebecca: Bitter? Gem: Never! >King: Actually, I'm not finished yet. Your opponent will be: Tsuneo: Gai Tendou? Dan: R. Mika? Rebecca: A random palette-swap ninja? Gem: The entire cast of War Gods? >the Dan Hibiki-bot 2000!! >Up from an elevated shaft on the left corner of the ring emerged a robot that >bared a resemblance to Dan Hibiki. All: ... Gem: I would have preferred the War Gods. >Hibiki-Bot *in robotic voice, shaking fist*: HA-SHA! I'm gonna knock you into >next week, and maybe the week after that! Dan: This is pretty messed up right here. >Rosa: So all I gotta do is fight this robot? Rebecca: Why would you build a robotic Dan? Tsuneo: It's part of a complex scientific experiment to see if suckiness is inherent or has to be taught. >King: WITHOUT the use of your sword! >Rosa: Man, you people really are serious about letting new people onto your >team. *puts sword aside* Gem: No, then they'd have a test instead of a scene-filler. >King: I decided to increase the requirements for making it onto our team >drastically after Mai told me about last year's Hinako fiasco. Rebecca: [Mai] I was drunk at the time! >Mai: Where'd you get the robot from? Tsuneo: No, we don't want to know. >King: Again, it was my boss's idea. He bought it from the Ikari Warriors' >Garage Sale a couple days ago. Rebecca: Turns out it's a Foot clan robot ninja with a wig. >He said it would give customers someone to >fight against without feeling sorry for causing any serious injuries to their >friends. Tsuneo: So what if the robot hurts her? Gem: Then she sucks, and doesn't deserve to be on the team. >Rosa: Enough talk! It's robot-fighting time! Dan: I'm sure the Thing has said that at least once. Gem: The thing? Dan: Yeah, the Thing. Gem: What thing? Dan: The Thing! Gem: That's what I'm asking! Dan: What are you asking? [Gem hits him with a cushion] Gem: This is the sort of conversation that can only end with a gunshot. >Rosa ran up to the ring, leapt over the ropes, and landed (feet-first) on the >mat. >King: Your objective is to knock down Dan Hibiki-bot's energy level to zero in >less than three minutes. Rebecca: Oh gee, you've got to beat Dan. How hard can that be? >If you are either unable to defeat Dan in that amount >of time, or knocked out of the ring, Gem: [King] We will point and laugh at you. >your team membership will be rendered null and void. Understand? >Rosa: Gotcha. >King: I will be monitoring your progress via the scoreboard located above the >ring. Dan: Couldn't you just watch them instead? Tsuneo: Stop making this difficult! >The fight shall begin when I sound the bell. Are you ready, Rosa >Rosa: I'm ready to kick some robo-ass! >King: GO! *DING!* Dan: My god! We're actually going to have a FIGHT SCENE! >Right at the sound of the bell, Hibiki-bot ran toward Rosa and tried to nail >her with a flying jump kick, but Rosa saw this coming and easily evaded his >attack. With his back turned, the seasoned freedom fighter took advantage by >elbowing him in the back, grabbing him, tossing him onto the mat, and applying >an axe kick to his chest while he was down. Tsuneo: I see this robot's just as effective as the real thing. Rebecca: But will it team up with Robo-Higashi? We need to know these things! >Hibiki-bot quickly got back up >onto his feet and tried to hit Rosa with a rapid barrage of punches, but she >managed to dodge them all, and, taking advantage of an opening, punched him in >the stomach, forcing him to bend over. She then followed up by picking him up >and pile-driving him right into the mat. Dan: So she's a pro-wrestling freedom fighter, huh? Rebecca: Maybe she's one of those super-powered Luchadores who fights Aztec mummies, aliens, zombies and the like. Gem: Now you're just getting silly. >Angered by that last attack, Hibiki >bot leapt back onto his feet and prepared to fire a giant energy ball. Sensing >this coming, Rosa assumed a blocking position in order to defend herself from >the oncoming attack. Tsuneo: If you can see it coming, why don't you try to dodge it? >Hibiki-Bot: Chew on this! Shinku-HADOKEN!! >The robotic fighter unleashed a small, ineffective energy ball that quickly >dispersed from sight. Rosa simply laughed. Gem: This is meant to be a test, right? Just checking. >Rosa: HA! HA! That was supposed to have been your ultimate attack? If so, it >was ultimately pathetic! Allow me to demonstrate what a real ultimate attack >looks like. Gem: If everyone's got an ultimate attack, how can they be ultimate? Rebecca: Stop making the story think. >Mai *whispering to King*: I think something's wrong with that Dan Hibiki-bot. >I don't think his ultimate attack is working properly. Tsuneo: Oh no, it's working perfectly. >King *whispering to Mai*: Actually, that WAS his ultimate attack. My boss >assured me that he had bought it slightly used. Tsuneo: ... Dan: Well called, buddy. >Hibiki-Bot *insulted*: You dare to mock my Saikyo fighting style?! Rebecca: Why not? Everyone else does. >I'll turn >you into a floor mat for that insult! Prepare to face my TRUE ultimate attack! >RAAAAHH!!! Dan: Why didn't she hit him while he was busy rambling? >Hibiki-bot rushed toward Rosa and performed his Hisshou Buraiken. Gem: If that's his true ultimate attack, what does that make his earlier ultimate attack? Dan: His, um, penultimate attack! >Just as the >attack was about to make impact, the clever rebel leader found an opening and >nailed him in the chin with a rising uppercut that sent him up into the air. Rebecca: Big deal, everyone can do that. >Rosa then leapt up, grabbed ahold of Hibiki-bot, and performed her Shori-no >Akatsuki (which consists of Rosa grabbing her opponent out of mid-air and >suplex-ing them into the ground with a highly explosive impact). Rebecca: Just when you thought we were through all the Benoit-style suplex variations... Tsuneo: Good obscure shot. >The impact of >Rosa's DM sent Hibiki-bot spiraling out of the ring and onto the floor, where >he laid in an undignified heap. Dan: So how's that different to its normal state? >Mai and King *amazed*: WHOA!! That was cool! >King: She beat Hibiki-bot in only 1:27! Unbelievable! Gem: [King] What took her so long? Tsuneo: She was stunned by its gross stupidity. Dan: What, the robot? Tsuneo: No, the fic. >Chizuru: See? THIS is the reason why I hired her as my new bodyguard! >Hibiki-Bot *badly damaged*: G-G-Gurk...* Dan: [Robot] I don't feel very well. Can we go home now? >Rosa: *leaps out of the ring* So, how'd I do? Rebecca: Does this mean that by the same process Shingo could get into their team? Tsuneo: Don't push it. >King: I'd say you more than just qualified. You passed with flying colors! >Welcome to the team, Rosa! *shakes Rosa's hand* Tsuneo: And the fic finally has a title. The crowd changes colour. A winner is you. >Rosa: *shakes King's hand* Thanks! It ought to be a pleasure fighting >alongside a Shiranui ninja, a guardian of the seal of Orochi, and the second- >best kick boxer in the world. Dan: I sense imminent hurting. >King: HEY! Why only second-best? Who's the best kick boxer in the world? Tsuneo: Sagat. Rebecca: He doesn't count. Tsuneo: Please? Anything but Joe. >Rosa: Isn't it obvious? Joe Higashi, of course. >King *insulted*: WHAT?! You mean that loud-mouth, arrogant jerk is better than >me?! As if! I could clobber that overly-hyped moron any day of the week! >Rosa: Then why is he still the kickboxing champion of the world? Rebecca: Because all the other contenders died in freak accidents. >King: If they let women into the World Kickboxing Association, I would've >usurped him from his throne a long time ago! Gem: It's always minor technicalities like that. Dan: Hey, you could try entering. They'd never see through your disguise. >Rosa: Yeah. Yeah. Don't give me excuses! Gem: [King] So the one about the dog eating the title is out of the question? >King: *SIGH!* Never mind. Let's just move on. *looks at watch* Oh my gosh! >It's almost time to open up shop! *pushes button underneath counter; ring, >scoreboard, and Hibiki-bot return to their respective places.* Rebecca: Under the floor, into the roof and the recycling bin, respectively. >Mai: Wait a second! I thought that Illusions didn't open until 5:00pm. >King: That policy changed about a month ago. Ever since my boss hired expert >chef and grill master Freddy Flambe, not only has this place be re- named >(hence the name Illusions Bar & Grill), we've also expanded the hours (to >12:00pm-1:00am weekdays), so that we can serve the lunch crowd. Gem: Once again, I find myself asking: What is the fricking point to all this? Dan: To form a new Female Fighters team. Gem: That's not what I mean and you know it. Dan: Then it's... What is the point of this? Guys? Tsuneo: No idea. Rebecca: You've got me. Dan: I guess there is no point to this. >Mai: I see. Well, I guess I'll be sticking around for lunch then. >Rosa: Same here. I'm starving after that little workout. >Chizuru: Me too. I want to see how good this Freddy Flambe guy is. >King: Very well then. Sally! Elizabeth! >Sally and Elizabeth: Yes ma'am? >King: Get ready. The lunch crowd'll be here any second. Freddy, get the grill >going! >Freddy Flambe: Eyy! I'll give the customers something to sing about. I'm gonna >punch it up a bunch! SLAM! Dan: Slam? Rebecca: He provides his own sound effects. >Mai: Is he trying to impersonate Emeril Lagasse? >Chizuru: Him, and just about every other chef in the southwest. Rebecca: [Mai] Where the hell did you find this guy? Gem: [King] Me? I thought you hired him! >Meanwhile, outside of Illusions Bar & Grill, a short distance away: >Kasumi: This looks like a good place to have lunch. >Shingo: I'm with you. I can't walk any further on an empty stomach. Dan: Try walking on your feet instead. Tsuneo: [Chris] How about that ice cream truck over there? Gem: Let's not loop the fic again. >The four kids entered Illusions Bar & Grill. Inside, King's fellow waitresses, >Elizabeth and Sally, greeted them. >Sally and Elizabeth: Hi! Welcome to Illusions Bar & Gr... >Sally: OH MY GOD! It's Kula Diamond! Gem: How do you know? It could be some other pale girl with blue hair in a purple leather bodysuit. Rebecca: You act like it happens all the time. Gem: It does. >Elizabeth: You were awesome last year! I loved seeing how you suddenly came in >out of nowhere and beat the tar out of the Heroes Team. Dan: They may be the heroes, but that doesn't mean anyone likes them. >Kula: Thanks! >Sally: You and your friends can sit at the front of the bar. Gem: They're not old enough to sit there. Dan: You'd know, right? Gem: Grr... >Shingo: All right! >Sally and Elizabeth escorted the Gekiganger 4 team to the front of the bar, >where the four were then seated. Rebecca: INTENSE SEATING ACTION! Tsuneo: At last, *some* action in this fic. >King: Kula Diamond? What are doing among these "normal people"? Tsuneo: And 'normal' is a relative term here. >Kula: Well, I got laughed off of my old team, found Shingo, Kasumi, and Chris >fishing by a river, and we formed our own team, calling ourselves the >Gekiganger 4 team. Rebecca: In case you missed the last recap of the fic... >King *in disbelief*: Okay! Which one of you spiked my martini? >Mai: Are you sure you're all right, King? Tsuneo: Think about this. She got woken up by Mature and Vice breaking into her apartment, menacing her while she was still in her pyjamas and threatening her with a helicopter gunship while Shermie and Chris fixed her window amongst a pile of unconscious schoolgirl sumo wrestlers. She's come down here to find that her team has been joined by someone from a different game who has to beat up a robotic Dan to get in. Now she's being told a bunch of the least interesting losers from all the other teams are making their own team and naming it after a running gag in an anime mecha show. Of course she's not all right! [The others politely applaud] Gem: Is he going to be okay? Dan: He does this all the time. >You're not hallucinating now, are >you? If so, do you see any pink bunnies dancing in front of you? >King: Put those stuffed animals away! >Mai: Awww! You're no fun! *puts away stuffed pink bunnies* Gem: Mai, you are a cruel, mean and heartless person. Rebecca: [Mai] Me bouncy! Gem: I hate you all. >Shingo: It's true. Kula, Kasumi, Chris, and I are our own team. I assure you, >it's no dream. Dan: Not a dream! Not an illusion! In this fanfic, brain cells die! >Rosa: So, let me get this straight. A Kyo Kusanagi-wannabe, a master of the >Todoh fighting style, a rock star with Orochi blood, and a N.E.S.T.S. special >operative are all on the same team? Tsuneo: THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU FOR THE LAST TWO THIRDS OF THE FIC! >Chris: That's right. >Rosa: I guess stranger things have happened before. Gem: Oh yeah? Name three. >And since seeing is believing, then I believe it. >Chizuru: Wait a second. How did you know that Kula was a N.E.S.T.S. operative, >and that Chris has Orochi blood? Dan: Oh, everyone knows that. Heck, even these two random waitresses know that. Rebecca: [Sally] Sure do! Gem: [Elizabeth] We don't have personalities! >Rosa: Simple. Thanks to Jipang's data library, I was able to find out just >about everything I wanted to know about every King of Fighters contestant that >has ever participated in the tournament. Tsuneo: Even the USA team? Gem: [Rosa] Okay, so it's not infallible. It had no explanation whatsoever for Brian Battler. Rebecca: Does anyone? >Mai: Wow. You must be very well connected, being from an island nation and >all. Tsuneo: *Cough* *cough* Japan *cough.* Rebecca: What would you know? You're from a backwater planet in the arse end of the galaxy. Tsuneo: I know SNKglish when I see it. >Kula: I've got a question. What happened to Southtown after the Zero cannon >hit it last year? Dan: Yeah, I was wondering about that. Gem: Hey. [Pokes Tsuneo] You're meant to be the big expert here. How come you didn't pick up on that? Tsuneo: I was working on the relatively minor inconsistencies while saving myself up for the big one. >Mai: As it turned out, the Zero cannon only destroyed the Bumsville and >Telemarketers Lane sections of Southtown, so no real serious damage was done. Dan: Sounds like a cop-out to me. Gem: Sounds like the authour got half-way through writing this fic before doing his research. Tsuneo: So what, is this suddenly 'explain the random plot hole' theatre? >Kasumi: I've also got a question. *to King* Where's that drink you promised me >a few years ago?! Gem: [King] Damn, I was hoping she'd forgotten by now. >King: You know I'm not allowed to serve drinks to anyone under the age of 21, >so the answer is in a few more years, when you're older. Tsuneo: [Chris] I'm technically 1,800 years old. Does that count? Rebecca: [King] Nice try kid, but no. >Kasumi: I don't care. I still want my drink, and I want it NOW! Rebecca: And remember, she's the smart and sensible one of this team. Dan: Only in the way X-Brawn is. Tango: [V/O] X-Brawn, BABY! [Whiplash] Voice: Gotta get that thing fixed. >King: Okay, fine, you win. Here you go: a bottle of Red Cat beer. Enjoy. >Kasumi: Awesome! I knew you'd eventually cave in under pressure. >Shingo: *whispering to King*: What are you doing?! You're gonna get yourself >in a lot of trouble for this! Dan: Yeah, but it'll be fun to watch. >King: *whispering to Shingo*: Settle down, Shingo. It's only a bottle of root >beer with a fake label on it. Dan: [Shingo] Do you always have one of those handy? Rebecca: [King] You'd be surprised how useful it is. >At least this'll stop her complaining. Rebecca: [Kasumi, slurred] MORE! *Hic!* I want more! Tsuneo: How do you get drunk on root beer? >Shingo *whispering to King*: I see. Very clever. Who's that person in the red >t-shirt and jeans, by the way? Dan: [Shingo] But we just passed Blue Mary on the way here. >King: That's Rosa Himura, our newest teammate. Gem: Don't ask what she's doing here. Just don't. >Shingo: Oh. *to Rosa* Pleased to meet you, Rosa. My name is Shingo... >Rosa: I already know who you are. Gem: [Rosa] Now please shut up. >It's a pleasure to meet you, Kasumi Todoh, >Chris, and Kula Diamond. By the way, why did you form your own team? Gem: Do we have to go through this all AGAIN? Rebecca: Would you rather have more of this amazing story? Gem: Damn, can't win either way. >Shingo: Well, after I accidentally ruined Kusanagi-san's girlfriend's mural, >he threatened to kill me, Tsuneo: That was just on general principles. >so I fled the country and wound up here in Southtown. Dan: [Shingo] Last time I buy the mystery tour tickets. >The next day, I decided to go fishing with Kasumi in order to put >my mind at ease. An hour or so later, Chris and Kula came on by. Since the two >of them were kicked off of their old teams, I decided that the four of us >should form our own team. Rebecca: [Shingo] And then we hired Mr. Big to be our manager. >Thus, we ended up calling ourselves the Gekiganger 4 team. Tsuneo: [Shingo] I think we were all drunk at the time. >Rosa: Nice story, but why Gekiganger 4? Gem: That's what I've been wondering. >Shingo: To me, the name symbolizes strength, unity, courage, and teamwork. Gem: And hopeless loser fanboys. Tsuneo: And shooting your enemies during negotiations. Dan: And giant flying robot fists! Rebecca: And two frames per second of animation. >That, and I got the idea from an anime series called Martian Successor >Nadesico. Rebecca: YEAH! Nadesico rocks! Tsuneo: You're bored, aren't' you? Rebecca: You can tell? >Rosa: Interesting. Gem: [Rosa] You are all idiots. Dan: [Shingo] We get that a lot. >Chizuru: Oh, by the way, Shingo, I found out who was responsible for the >deaths of Li Xiangfei and Hinako. Dan: Miss Plum, in the kitchen, with the candlestick. >King: It was Vice and Mature! >Chizuru: Must you ruin my dramatic moment? Gem: [King] I was trying to get this thing moving again. >King: If I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to get a word in edgewise. Rebecca: Poor King's being paid by the line. >Chizuru: *ahem* Anyways, the claw and bite marks on their bodies both belonged >to Vice and Mature. So there you go. Gem: We knew this. Why is the fic repeating this for us? Dan: Because Chris and his buddies didn't know yet. Rebecca: And the authour's trying to pad it out for want of an actual story. >Shingo: Wha?! But I thought Vice and Mature were dead. Tsuneo: [Chris] Yeah, me too. >Chizuru: Yeah, well, Orochi brought them back to life. Rebecca: Well thanks a heap, Orochi. >Chris: I also was brought back from the dead. Dan: Well good for you. Couldn't it have done something useful instead? >Kula: Well, that sure explains a lot. But why isn't anyone sad that Li >Xiangfei and Hinako are dead? Tsuneo: They're grossly out of character? >Kasumi: Because they were annoying. >King: Because they were gluttons. >Mai: Because they ate and complained more than they fought. Rebecca: [Mai] Because they took the last slice of cheesecake! Dan: Mmm, cheesecake... >Shingo: Because I easily beat the tar out of them. Anyone that weak or >unskilled doesn't even deserve to participate in the King of Fighters >tournament. >Rosa: Because I also could've mopped the floor with them. >Sally: Me too. >Elizabeth: Same here. >Chris: Ditto. Gem: Me too. Dan: Likewise. Rebecca: And me. Tsuneo: Ditto. >Chizuru: Because they suck. End of story. Gem: And last but not least, because the authour doesn't like them. Rebecca: Is his name Larry by any chance? >Kula: Hmmm. I see your points. >Just then, a tall figure with equally tall blond hair walked into the bar. Dan: Well, it's either Guile or Paul Phoenix in a random cameo. Rebecca: I suppose the realistic option is just to horrible to contemplate. >Benimaru Nikaido: Yo! Rebecca: Thought so. >Sally: *GASP!* OH MY GOD! It's Benimaru Nikaido! Dan: In case you didn't read the intro... >Elizabeth: You were awesome last year! I loved seeing how you beat Kula >Diamond by using her ice powers against her. Gem: This sounds like a Darwin award in progress. >Come sit at the front of the bar. Rebecca: Sit him next to King. Now try to guess which one's the man. >Kula *annoyed*: E tu brute, Elizabeth? >Shingo *surprised*: Benimaru-san?! What are you doing here? Rebecca: He's picking up his costume before going to Mardi Gras. Dan: What, in New Orleans? Rebecca: No, Sydney. >Benimaru: I was about to ask you and your friends the same question. I'm here >in Southtown because I've been hired to be the new male model for Rei's Blue >Jeans. Rebecca: [King] But that's a women's clothing line. Dan: [Benimaru] Yeah, funny about that... >Why are you here, anyways? Gem: Please, not again! >Shingo told Benimaru the story of how he came to Southtown and met up with >Kasumi, Chris, and Kula. Gem: *Phew* That was painless. >Benimaru: That's quite a story. What's even more amazing is the fact that >you've got two beautiful young ladies on your team. Dan: [Shingo] Er, that's Chris. Tsuneo: [Benimaru] You know what I mean, dear. >Looks like those last two >tournaments underneath my tutelage are really starting to pay off for you. Rebecca: I guess Shingo would work hard underneath Beni. [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion] Dan: Hang on, how did Shingo manage to win in '99? Tsuneo: Well, the other three members of the team were so good... >Shingo: Actually, it was more chance than charm. >Kasumi *to Benimaru*: Wait a second. You beat Kula Diamond?! Gem: So what is Gekiganer 4, the Job Squad special team? Tsuneo: No, they're justification for team edit mode. >Benimaru: I sure did. You see, after she K.O.ed K's team, I confronted her, >and right when she was about to nail me with a blast of ice, I used my Raikou >Ken on the attack, and since the ice hadn't fully hardened (and since water >conducts electricity), I ended up electrocuting her. Dan: You don't think he's rubbing it in a bit, is he? Tsuneo: [Benimaru] Not to mention how I defeated Zero and destroyed NESTS all on my own... >Shingo: Yeah! Benimaru-san was in top form that day! Rebecca: As Shingo was doubtless aware. [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion] >Benimaru *to Kula*: I hope my attack wasn't too shocking for you, cutie. No >hard feelings? Gem: [Kula] Except for that pun. >Kula *to Benimaru*: None whatsoever. Any friend of K' is a friend of mine. And >thanks for the "cutie" compliment. Rebecca: [Benimaru] Not you, I was talking to Chris. Tsuneo: [Chris] I am not a girl! Rebecca: [Benimaru] I know. >Benimaru: You're welcome. Anyways, Shingo, how did the rest of your fishing >trip go? Dan: [Shingo] I couldn't get anything done. All these random idiots kept wandering along. >Shingo: It couldn't have gone better. We ended up catching a huge salmon. >Mai: You're kidding! >Shingo: I don't think so. Take a look at this picture. *pulls out a Polaroid >picture* >Mai: Amazing! Rebecca: [Mai] I was only hired to stand at the back, stay out of the conversation and say things like "Wow," "Amazing," and "That's huge!" >Chizuru: Look at the size of that fish! >King: Very impressive! Dan: [Shingo] You know what they say about men with big fish. Gem: [King] Stop deluding yourself, Shingo. >Rosa: You could feed a small army with that thing! Rebecca: The Andorran army! >Benimaru: *whistles* Rebecca: [Mai] The photo, not me! >That's one giant salmon. >Chris: And it was all thanks to the four of us. Tsuneo: And a pair of slack-jawed yokels who got a scene for no good reason. >Benimaru: Welcome back to the land of the living, Chris. How was the >afterlife? Tsuneo: [Chris] There was a long tunnel, and a bright light... Turns out it was a train. >Chris: Very boring. Dan: [Chris] There's no-one there but X-Men. >I had to wait in a long line before some guy came up and >told me that I was brought back to life. Gem: [Chris] Then he gave me a bill for services. The afterlife just ain't all it's cracked up to be. >Benimaru: Look on the bright side. At least you've been given a second >chance. >Anyways, Shingo, before I left for Southtown, Kyo told me that I ever found >you, I should have you give Kyo a call. Tsuneo: How conveeenient. >He wanted to talk with you. About what, I have no idea. Dan: Didn't you just explain? Gem: Don't tempt them! They'll recap the fic AGAIN! >Shingo *surprised*: Kusanagi-san wants to talk to me?! Oh no! I must've really >done something terrible if he sent someone to track me down. >Benimaru: Relax. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Rebecca: So why are Bobba Fett, Deaths Head and Spike Spiegel waiting outside? >Here, you can talk to him on my cell phone. *hands Shingo his cell phone* >Shingo *nervous*: I can't do it! What if he's still angry at me and wants to >kill me? Dan: [Shingo] He can't kill me by phone, can he? [Nervous pause] Can he? >Rosa: Calm down, Shingo. It's only a phone call. If something bad does happen, >don't worry. We're behind you. Rebecca: Especially Benimaru. Tsuneo: Give up. >Shingo: Thanks, Rosa. *takes a deep breath* Okay, here goes nothing. *dials >Kyo's phone number* >Kyo *on the other end of the line*: Hello? >Shingo *nervous*: Kusanagi-san? >Kyo: Shingo! >Shingo *nervous*: *GULP!* Y-Yes sir? Tsuneo: [Kyo, yelling] IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING OVER HERE! >Kyo: You're a GENIUS! Gem: That's probably the first and last time he'll ever hear that. >Shingo: W-WHA?!?!? Dan: [Shingo] I am? I mean, of course I am! I'm amazing! What did I do? >Kyo: If it wasn't for your timely (and accidental) intervention, Yuki wouldn't >have won the School Mural contest. Gem: Told ya, modern art. >Shingo *confused*: I... don't... understand... Tsuneo: None of us do. >Kyo: Let me put it this way: Gem: She submitted the mess and the judges loved it. >if you didn't come in, step all over the >painting, and accidentally drop a box of yakisoba noodles on top of it, Yuki >wouldn't have found the creative inspiration she needed to win first prize at >the school's annual Mural Contest. Dan: I didn't know instant noodles could be so inspiring. Gem: When the choice is instant noodles, you'll do anything. >After I chased you out of apartment, Yuki >decided to start over and create a new mural, since the old one didn't quite >meet her standards. With my assistance, we were able to finish it in a matter >of hours, and a couple days later, we presented our entry in the school's >annual mural contest, and won first prize: a one week trip for two to Maui, >Hawaii. Dan: For a school art contest? That's not right. Rebecca: Why couldn't my school have been like that? Dan: C'mon, you could have never made a winning entry. Rebecca: No, but I could have mugged someone for theirs. Dan: That's more than I needed to know. >Shingo: Awesome! But what was the name of the mural? Tsuneo: Stepped On Mess With Instant Noodles. >Kyo: Yakisoba School Spirit. I know it sounds weird, but knowing artistic >judges, they'll take anything that sounds different. Tsuneo: It only just beat "Pile Of Dirt I Threw At The Wall Which Didn't Slide Off." Dan: Hey! I worked for hours on that one! >Yuki and I couldn't be >happier that we won the contest. In fact, I think she wants to thank you. Hold >on. *hands phone over to Yuki* Gem: Stupid question, but isn't a mural something you paint on a wall? Rebecca: Yes. Gem: So why were they doing it on the floor of her apartment? Rebecca: They were going to submit the floor. >Yuki: Hey Shingo! Thanks so much for helping me find my creative >inspiration. Dan: [Shingo] Does this mean the breaking and entering is forgiven as well? Gem: [Yuki] The what? Dan: [Shingo] Oopsie. >I couldn't have won the contest without you. In fact, if you were here right >now, I'd give you a big hug (and, if Kyo wasn't looking, a kiss). Dan: How did she pronounce those brackets? >Shingo *stunned*: You're... uh, welcome. Dan: [Shingo] Wow! It'll be like getting an indirect kiss from Kyo! Gem: That's more information than I needed. >Think you can save that hug for when I return to Japan? Gem: [Yuki] Well, no. >Yuki: Sure thing. Listen, I gotta go. Thanks again, and I look forward to >congratulating you in person when you come home. Here's Kyo. See ya! *hands >phone back to Kyo* Rebecca: So should we go easy on Shingo from here on in? [Pause] All: Nah. >Kyo: Well, it looks like everything turned out all right in the end. By the >way, I'm sorry that I got angry at you and threatened to kill you. Dan: [Shingo] It happens all the time. Tsuneo: [Kyo] I know. >Shingo: Apology accepted! So, does this mean I can be on your team now? Tsuneo: [Kyo] Don't get carried away. >Kyo: I'm afraid not. The team's already been decided, and I have no intention >of making any changes at this point. Sorry, Shingo. Rebecca: I bet he would've said that even if he didn't have a team. >Shingo: Don't worry about it. I've got my own team now. Tsuneo: [Kyo] The world is doomed. >Kyo *surprised*: You've got your own team?! Since when did this happen? Gem: NO! Don't let it repeat itself! >Shingo: Since I went fishing in Southtown earlier today. Rebecca: Because as we know, going fishing is the best way to form a KOF team. Dan: That might explain Team America from 94. Tsuneo: Nothing can explain Team America. >My teammates are Kasumi Todoh, Chris, and Kula Diamond. >Kyo *surprised*: WHAT?! You're kidding! Gem: I would have thought that myself if I hadn't read it FIVE TIMES ALREADY! Dan: Whoah, settle. >Chris is dead, and Kula would NEVER join another team. Tsuneo: Isn't that what I've been saying all fic? Rebecca: At last, someone who pays attention. >Shingo: Actually, Chris was brought back to life, Dan: He and Norman Osbourne got a package deal. >and Kula quit her team. >Listen, I gotta go. Benimaru'll kill me if I continue running up his cell >phone bill. I'll explain everything when we meet again. See ya! >Kyo: WAIT A SECOND! Don't hang up...* >Shingo: *turns off cell phone and hands it back to Benimaru* Good news! I've >been forgiven! [They all snap their fingers] Rebecca: [Shingo] This is the best thing to happen to me since I bought all those Enron shares. >Everyone: YAY!! >Benimaru: So, how'd you get yourself out of that one? >Shingo explained to everyone how he got himself out of the mess he was in. Gem: WILL THIS FIC BLOODY WELL STOP REPEATING ITSELF AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING! >King: Talk about divine intervention. Maybe I should invite you over and have >you knock over a few bottles of wine to see if there's any gold hidden >inside. >Mai: Perhaps you should come over to the Shiranui shrine and remodel the >floors to see if there's treasure buried underneath the shrine. Dan: Just run out there and buy a lottery ticket! Rebecca: I'm having flashbacks to the start of Excel Saga. >Benimaru *to Rosa*: Hey, I haven't seen you around here before. Rebecca: [Rosa] I've been standing here for five bloody minutes! Are you blind or something? >Rosa *to Benimaru*: I'm Rosa Himura, Jipang native Dan: [Benimaru] Jipang? Don't know the place. Rebecca: [Rosa] It's an island nation just off the coast of Colea. Dan: [Benimaru] Nnnope. Rebecca: [Rosa] You know, Azsun nation? Capital Tokiu, Mount Fugy... Dan: [Benimaru] Seems familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. >and Chizuru Kagura's bodyguard. I'm also one of your biggest fans. >Benimaru: Is that so? >Rosa: It certainly is. In fact, I'm wearing the shirt you wore during the King >of Fighters '99 tournament underneath my t-shirt. *lifts up t-shirt* See? Dan: Unfortunately, she'd forgotten to wear it underneath... Oy vey! >Everyone responded in surprise to Rosa's "hidden lucky charm" (Shingo nearly >fell out of his chair). Dan: [Shingo] It's so tight! >King *hand over eyes*: Oh no. *snicker* Gem: [King] I'm jealous... Dan: [Nudges Gem] You should be. >Kula: Now THAT'S what I call being a fan. >Benimaru: That certainly is my shirt, all right. But where (and how) did you >get it? Rebecca: [Rosa] Off E-bay! It only cost me $4,691, but he assured me it was the genuine article. Gem: That and the dozen other ones he'd sold. >Rosa: You don't remember? At the awards ceremony, after winning the >championship trophy, you decided to show off your body to the ladies, Rebecca: [Benimaru] Actually, I was trying to impress the men in the crowd. [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion] >and >thus, you took off your t-shirt and threw it into the crowd. I was the one who >caught it. Gem: [Rosa] I haven't washed it since! Others: We noticed. >Mai: Hold it. I thought you were fighting in Jipang around that time. >Rosa: I was on leave. Tsuneo: On leave from a guerrilla war? Rebecca: [Rosa] Guerrillas have got to have time off too, you know. >Benimaru: I see. Tsuneo: He said while slowly edging towards the door. >Rosa: I've also got a copy of your modeling photo album, "Beauty To The Bone", >back at my apartment. Would you mind singing it at some point for me? Dan: How do you sing a photo album? Gem: I think she means "signing" it. Dan: Just ruin all my fun. >Benimaru: Anything for a fan as beautiful and dedicated as you are. Dan: [Benimaru] And with access to heavy firearms. >Rosa: Thanks. >Shingo: Benimaru-san, what ever happened to that ninja we saw after we >defeated Zero? >King: Yeah! I want to know too! Rebecca: [Benimaru] You weren't even there. Gem: [King] But I've got to say something! >Benimaru: Well, that ninja is named Ron, and believe it or not, I ran into him >a few months ago while in New York City. He told me that he was working as a >graphic artist, Dan: It's quite a change in occupations, isn't it? I mean evil ninja - graphic artist. Not one you immediately think of. >with a second job, doing illustrations for science books. He >told me that there's big money in scientific illustration. We then traded >stock tips before going our separate ways. Gem: Hello? Evil ambition? World domination? Anything? >Shingo: That's odd. Didn't he say he was going to kill us? Rebecca: You would too. >Benimaru: He changed his mind. He's decided to put his plan for world >domination on indefinite hold, opting instead to hold down a steady job. Tsuneo: [Ron] Oh sure, I lose a lot of job perks, but this way I've got a steady income and a great view of the Manhattan skyline. >Shingo: Well, that explains a lot. >King: A scientific illustrator ninja, huh? That's a new one. Gem: [King] I mean, that's almost as ridiculous as two kids, a dead guy and an evil clone... Oh wait, never mind. >One hour later, after ordering (and consuming) lunch: Tsuneo: One quick transition later. >Kasumi: That was delicious! >Chizuru: My compliments to the chef! >Mai: The food here certainly has improved, thanks to your boss hiring Freddy >Flambe. >Shingo: Question now is, who's going to foot the bill? Dan: Didn't you think of that earlier? Rebecca: He was planning to run away. Dan: Works for me. >Kula: I will! *pulls out a huge wad of cash* >Chris: WHOA! Where'd all that money come from? Dan: [Shingo] We knocked over an ice cream truck on the way here. Rebecca: [Foxy] Damn you, young hooligans! >Kula: N.E.S.T.S. usually provides the elite members with a lot of money, so >that they can buy (or bribe) their way out of any situation. Tsuneo: Maybe giving all that to an immature girl wasn't such a good idea. >Rosa: Talk about being well endowed Rebecca: [Mai] Well... >(financially, that is). Rebecca: [Mai] Oh. >Kasumi: Well, it's been fun. We're outta here. Let's go get some ice cream to >celebrate our newfound team, fellas. Tsuneo: I think I know where this is going. >Shingo, Kula, and Chris: Right on! Gem: Zany comedic hijinks ensue. Rebecca: You said "ensue." Gem: Bite me. >Shingo: Bye, Benimaru-san! Later, ladies! See you at the King of Fighters 2001 >tournament. Good luck! Rebecca: [Chizuru] They have got to raise the minimum entry age. Dan: There go the Psycho Soldiers. >Kula and Chris: See ya! >Chizuru: *grabs Kula and Chris by their collars* Hold on a second, you two. >There's something I need to talk to you about. Rebecca: [Chizuru] You're the evil ones, after all. Tsuneo: [Chris] We promise we'll never do it again! Rebecca: [Chizuru] That's okay then. >Chris: Oh. Okay. *to Shingo* We'll catch up to you in a few minutes. Gem: [Ominous] They were never seen again. >Shingo: All right. We'll be waiting for you. By the way, Kagura-san, think you >can make some Gekiganger 4 jackets for my team? >Chizuru: Will do. I'll have my graphic designers get right on it. Dan: Are those Ninja graphic designers, or... [Gem gives him a filthy look] I'll just shut up now. >Shingo and Kasumi exited Illusions Bar & Grill. Rebecca: [Kasumi] Nobody wants us after all. Dan: [Shingo] You get used to it. >Chizuru: It looks like the coast is clear. Tsuneo: Unbeknownst to them, ninja storyboard artists were lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce. >Kula: So, why did you want to talk to us? Rebecca: [Chizuru] Do you two promise not to try and take over the world or resurrect Orochi during the course of this tournament? Gem: [Kula] Yes. Rebecca: [Chizuru] You may go. >Chizuru: Actually, I wanted to wait until Shingo and Kasumi were outside so >that I could tell everybody this. You're not going to believe this, but Shingo >has a girlfriend. Dan: Since when did you get involved in idle gossip? Rebecca: She gets so bored running a giant multinational. >Kula: You're kidding. I never thought that he was dating material. Gem: [Chizuru] It's actually the result of a stupid bet in this year's generic teen movie. >Mai: Who is it? Spill the beans. Dan: That's what the waiter's there for. >Chizuru: Kasumi Todoh. >Everyone: WHAT?!?!? Gem: [King] And I used to respect her. Scratch that, I didn't. >King: No way! Kasumi and Shingo? Never. Not in a thousand years. I don't >believe it! >Chizuru: Believe it. Earlier today, [Gem bangs her head against the coffee table] >while out for my morning jog, I saw Kasumi >and Shingo fishing beside the Southtown river. As I jogged on by, I overheard >Kasumi say something about wanting to be Shingo's boyfriend. A couple minutes >later, I saw the two of them embrace each other. >Chris: Ladies and gentlemen, better cancel class, 'cause hell has frozen >over. Rebecca: Um... What did you just say, Chris? Tsuneo: [Chris] I have no idea. >Benimaru: Looks like my youthful former teammate's finally growing up. I'm so >proud of him. >Mai: Aw! How sweet! I love seeing a young couple in love. Gem: [King] So how's it going with you and Andy? Rebecca: [Mai] He'll learn to love me. And then I'll untie him. >Rosa: I never thought that the two of them would become a potential couple. >All I know is that if word gets out about this, the tabloids'll be all over >this like teenage girls at a boy band concert. Dan: Why? Rebecca: Yeah, I can see the headlines now. "No-Name Weiners In Love!" >Chizuru: Remember: this rumor stays between all of us. It does not leave >this >bar. Understand? Rebecca: I'm sure Benimaru won't tell anyone except his hairdresser. >Everyone: Understood. >Chizuru: Good. You're free to go now, Chris and Kula. Dan: [Chizuru] And if you see any comic artist ninjas following you, don't mind them. They're not watching you. Honest. >Kula: Thanks for sharing that with us. >Chris: Let us know when the Gekiganger 4 jackets are done. Tsuneo: Say, how are you planning on paying for them? Gem: With the prize money, of course. Tsuneo: I see. They're doomed, aren't they? Gem: Definitely. >Chizuru: I will. >Kula and Chris: See ya! Rebecca: [Mai] What about me? What happened to my big scene? Dan: She's her own big scene. [Rebecca hits him with a cushion] >Chris and Kula left Illusions Bar & Grill. >Outside... >Kasumi: What took you so long? >Chris: We were talking about our stock portfolios. >Kula: Just make sure not to purchase any stock from a company named >"Enron". Rebecca: I made that joke several pages back. >Shingo: Good advice. Now, let's go get some ice cream! >Everyone: YEAH!!! Dan: Today the ice cream, tomorrow the world! >With that, the Gekiganger 4 team headed off to get some ice cream. >What challenges (both old and new) await the newly formed Gekiganger 4 >team? Gem: Getting respect? >Will they have what it takes to survive the King of Fighters 2001 >tournament? All: No. >And what teams (both old and new) shall they be pitted against? Tsuneo: All the ones Mature and Vice broke up along the way. >Let's answer that question now, shall we? Dan: Better yet, let's not. >TEAMS IN THE KING OF FIGHTERS 2001 TOURNAMENT: >Heroes Team Gem: The team that didn't appear in this fic. >-K' Rebecca: His younger brother L' has been pressuring him to let him join the tournament. >-Maxima >-Whip Dan: One of these days, the rest of Eurostar will catch up with him and then there'll be hell to pay. Rebecca: DING! Obscure bonus! >-Lin >Their Story: After being re-united with his sister (Whip) Rebecca: Their parents must have been on drugs or something. Gem: Yeah, and their cousins named all their kids after underwear. >following the >conclusion to the King of Fighters 2000 tournament, K', Maxima, and Whip set >off to eliminate all N.E.S.T.S. bases the world over. Upon hearing word of a >King of Fighters 2001 tournament, the Heroes Team held an open-house audition >at Carnegie Hall in New York City, hoping to find someone with an equally dark >and brooding past as the three of them. Tsuneo [K']: Thank you for that, Mr Wayne. Next please! Dan: ... Tsuneo [K']: Aaah. Good afternoon, Snake-Eyes. Dan: ... Tsuneo [K']: So tell us about yourself. Dan: ... Tsuneo [K']: Fascinating. So what do you think you could bring to this team? Dan: ... Tsuneo [K']: And your qualifications... It says you are the master of the "Ariskage Mind Set." So what does it do? Dan: ... Tsuneo [K']: That's great! Thank you for your time, we'll let you know. Dan: ... [They shake hands] >They went through many potential >candidates (Eiji Kisaragi, Ryuji Yamazaki, Kevin Costner) Dan: [Kevin Costner] I direct movies badly! I only drink imported French urine! I have a butt double! Hire me! Rebecca: I think this whole fic has been a Kevin Costner speech. >before ending up >with Lin (who won by having the saddest story: at 17, he fell in love with a >beautiful female ninja, Dan: Final Fight's Maki in an insane cameo! >but ended up accidentally killing her with his poison >breath when he tried to kiss her). Gem: Her last words were "Knock off the damned onions." >So now, the "brooding" Heroes Team is out >to put a stop to N.E.S.T.S. once and for all (all the while brooding over >their dark and mysterious pasts). Rebecca: So is this a KOF team or an X-book? >Japan Heroes Team Gem: The team that barely appeared in this fic. >-Kyo Kusanagi >-Benimaru Nikaido >-Goro Daimon Dan: [Goro] I got married and had a son. What have you guys been doing? Tsuneo: [Benimaru] I teamed up with Shingo. Dan: [Goro] Loser. >-Moe Habana >Their Story: Out to reclaim their former glory (and to make sure that K' >stops >hogging the spotlight), Tsuneo: [Kyo] I'm still the hero of this crummy game. >the Japan Heroes Team have returned for the King of >Fighters 2001 tournament, this time with spunky newcomer Moe Habana on their >team. Rebecca: Their original plan was to pack Shingo in a crate and ship him to Abu Dabi, but this'll do. >N.E.S.T.S. Team Gem: The team that are seriously regretting appearing in this fic. >-K9999 Dan: I guess they're still getting the bugs out of the K' thing. Rebecca: They want to have a beta test ready to ship this June. >-Angel >-Foxy >-Diana >Their Story: Having lost one of their own operatives (Kula Diamond) in an >incident classified as the "Ice Cream Salesman Screw Up", Tsuneo: Translation: We're sorry, our bad. >the N.E.S.T.S. Team >quickly found a replacement (Diana). Determined to prove himself as the most >powerful fighter in the world (and prove to the world that Tetsuo was the >"real" hero of Akira), Tsuneo: Was not. Dan: It was Tetsuo. Tsuneo: Kaneda. Dan: Tetsuo! Tsueno: Kaneda! Dan: TETSUOOO! Tsuneo: KANEDAAA! [Rebecca leans over and knocks their heads together] Gem: Idiots. >K9999 sets his sights on eliminating K' once and for >all. The other three simply want to win, get Kula back on their side, and go >shopping. Rebecca: And then maybe take over the world. >Yagami Team Gem: The leftover team. >-Iori Yagami >-Vanessa >-Seth >-John Crawley Tsuneo: Who? >Their Story: Angered over hearing word of Ramon making moves on his wife, >Vanessa, John Crawley challenged the Mexican wrestler to a duel. He won, while >Ramon was shot and killed in the duel. Dan: Dude! You got killed in the summary! >After that, the trio (John, Seth, and Vanessa) lured Iori onto their team Rebecca: With a bit of cheese and a box held up by a stick. Dan: [Iori] Blood... Death... Kill... Mmm, cheese. >by promising him that he could fight Kyo >as much as he wanted (and by giving him a new guitar). Will this foursome >survive the rigors of the King of Fighters 2001 tournament Tsuneo: That all depends on one thing. Rebecca: What? Tsuneo: Who's John Crawley? >(and will Iori end up butchering his teammates, like he did in '95 and >'96)? Dan: [Billy Kane] We're not dead! Tsuneo: [Eiji Kisaragi] We're resting! >Fatal Fury Team Gem: The- Tsuneo: The REAL heroes around here. >-Terry Bogard >-Andy Bogard >-Joe Higashi >-Blue Mary Ryan Dan: [Andy] And NOT Mai! >Their Story: The Lone Wolves are back! Once again, Southtown's finest are out >to prove themselves as the greatest fighting team in the world. 'Nuff said! Rebecca: And to maybe, just maybe, see if they can make it into the top half of the card. Tsuneo: [Andy] Maybe if we stood on each other's shoulders. Dan: [Joe] Maybe if Mary got implants. >Art of Fighting Team Gem: Team Shoto-scrubnuts. >-Ryo Sakazaki >-Robert Garcia >-Yuri Sakazaki >-Takuma Sakazaki >Their Story: After spending a horrendous year on the Female Fighters team back >in 2000, Yuri jumped ship and went back to her family (the Art of Fighting >team), vowing never again to join a team "with as lame a fighter as Hinako". Tsuneo: Just whinge about them a few more times. Dan: Methinks I know where a lot of the authour's spare change went. >Having enjoyed a banner year (thanks to the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden >Dragon"), the Kyokugen dojo now has more students (and money) than ever >before. Hoping to rake in enough money to add another room to the dojo, Rebecca: Maybe if they hadn't spent it on the jeep. Dan: [Takuma] But everyone else has a missile-armed jeep! Gem: Couldn't Robert pay for it out of his pocket money? >the >Art of Fighting team enters the King of Fighters 2001 tournament, aiming to >prove the might of Tsuneo: Shotokan Karate. >Kyokugen to the world (and win a whole lot of prize money in the process). Rebecca: With the power of the Fireball, the Uppercut and the Other Move! Dan: Where's Butt? They let all the other Shotos in but where's Butt? Rebecca: He could team up with Mr Big and form the Pimp Allaince. Dan: Better yet, they could call their team... BIG BUTT! >Ikari Warriors Team Gem: The team that didn't get maimed for this fic. >-Ralf Jones >-Clark Steele >-Heidern >-Leona Rebecca: Longtime student of the "Sonic the Hedgehog" school of hairdressing. Dan: You know, she looks a bit like Natasha. >Their Story: After Whip went M.I.A. at the end of the King of Fighters 2000 >tournament, Heidern decided to reinstate himself as active leader of the Ikari >Warriors team. With their sights set on taking down N.E.S.T.S. once and for >all, will their militant might help them overcome all obstacles? Tsuneo: Well they handily bypassed the fic. That's a good start. >Psycho Soldiers Team Gem: Alias Team Jailbait. Rebecca: They only bring Chin along to raise their average age. >-Athena Asamiya >-Sie Kensou >-Chin Gensai Dan: What about Chin? Was he even there? Was he on stage? Did he get crushed by the 'copter? Who came up with person man? >-Jhun Hoon >Their Story: Gem: We saw all this in the fic! >After Bao was killed in a helicopter accident, Dan: There was only one witness. Rebecca: What did he have to say? Dan: Guppy. >Athena decided to >call up one of her biggest fans (Jhun Hoon) and have him replace their now- >dead teammate. Having said "farewell" to his former team (Korean Team), Dan: They all but shoved him out the door. >Jhun finally gets to live out every fanboy's dream: Rebecca: Not in public! >to fight alongside their >biggest idol. How well will three Psycho Soldiers and one Tae Kwon Do expert >be able to stack up against the competition? Tsuneo: Badly? >Female Fighters Team Gem: The title team, although we're wondering why. >-King >-Mai Shiranui Dan: Putting Mai and King next to each other is kind of funny. >-Chizuru Kagura >-Rosa Himura Tsuneo: Who is still wondering what she's doing here. >Their Story: Following the deaths of Li Xiangfei and Hinako, King broke out a >bottle of Don Perignon and started singing "Happy Days Are Here Again" (okay, >not really). Rebecca: She didn't have any Don at hand. >Faced with the fact that they were now two members short of a >team, King and Mai called Chizuru down to Illusions Bar & Grill in the hopes >that she might consider returning to her old team. Little did the duo know >that she had recently hired a personal bodyguard by the name of Rosa Himura (a >freedom fighter Rebecca: As opposed to a terrorist. Tsuneo: What's the difference? Rebecca: When they're on our side, they're freedom fighters. >from the island nation of Jipang). Shortly after meeting one >another, Rosa proved herself worthy in a training match, Gem: She beat Dan Hibiki. Big whoop. >and thus, the new >Female Fighters team was born. Will the Female Fighters team be able to redeem >themselves after their "humiliating" defeat in the King of Fighters 2000 >tournament? Dan: I don't know, but it'll be a laugh finding out. >Korean Team Gem: The driving force behind team edit mode. >-Kim Kaphwan >-May Lee >-Chang Koehan >-Choi Boungie Rebecca: Supporting members Hwang Sung Kyung, Seung Mi Na, Sueng Han Myong, Baek Doo San, and Hwaorang >Their Story: Kim and his pair of freaks (er, I mean, students) Gem: Nope, they're freaks. >have returned, >but with the addition of a new face. May Lee, an energetic, eager Dan: Leggy. >Korean girl, has quickly become Kim's prize student. Tsuneo: Look at the other two and tell me that's hard. >Hopeful that this young prodigy will >excel in her training, Kim has given her the difficult task of watching over >(and trying to reform) Chang and Choi. Poor guys. Rebecca: Poor girl. >Will Choi ever be reunited >with his wife? Will Chang ever be able to taste the sweet nectar of >freedom? Tsuneo: Frankly, who cares? >No and no. >Gekiganger 4 Team Gem: The "Random Button Has A Lot To Answer For" team. >-Shingo Yabuki >-Kasumi Todoh >-Chris >-Kula Diamond >Their Story: Gem: WE'VE HEARD IT EIGHTY TIMES ALREADY! Rebecca: Simmer! >Having met each other while fishing in Southtown, these "orphans" >of various teams (a Kyo Kusanagi disciple, a master of the Todoh fighting >style, a rock star with Orochi blood, and an ice girl) have decided to pool >their strengths together in order to become a force to be reckoned with. Dan: Ooh, I'm scared! I am sooo scared! >With >their combined strength greater than the sum of their parts, the whole world >just may be shouting, "LET'S GO GEKIGANGER 4!". Rebecca: But probably not. >New Faces Four (YMVS) Team Gem: Team "What Are You People Doing Walking Around Breathing Anyway?" >-Yashiro Nanakase >-Shermie >-Vice >-Mature >Their Story: Having been brought back to life by Orochi, and been in hiding >for the past two years, the "new" New Faces Four team are ready to expose >themselves Dan: Yes please! Rebecca: Yashiro naked. Dan: AACK! >to the world once more. No longer being manipulated by Orochi, >these four fighters have only one objective in mind: Rebecca: [Mature] To spend the prize money on a Crimson Strike Force set! Dan: Mmm... Red Baroness... >harassing Iori Yagami until he goes into an Orochi Blood Riot. Tsuneo: Do you want to die again? Gem: [Vice] It was fun! >World Heroes Team Gem: What the... >-Hanzo >-Fuuma >-Janne >-Ryoko Tsuneo: Okay, what the hell are these people doing here? Rebecca: The authour doesn't know when to stop? >Their Story: Having heard so much about the King of Fighters tournament, Dr. >Brown put his time machine back into commission in order to retrieve his >favorite fighters from various timelines. With his old friends reunited in the >modern era, Dr. Brown hopes to prove his World Heroes team worthy of being a >team for all ages. Gem: Well, okay. There you go. >Kizuna Encounter Team Gem: Team "What The Hell Are You Doing In This Videogame?" >-Kim Sue Il >-Hayate Tsuneo: He was much better when he was Ein. Rebecca: Yip! Tsuneo: Not that Ein. Dan: Not that Hayate either. Tsuneo: Nuts. >-Max Eagle >-Carol Tsuneo: Okay, this is just stupid. >Their Story: Having gotten word that fellow compatriot Rosa Himura was >competing in the King of Fighters 2001 tournament, Kim Sue Il went off in >search of a team worthy to be called "Jipang's finest". Dan: Aren't you... You know, Guerrilla war... That kinda thing? Rebecca: Stuff that, there's a tournament on! >He soon came across a master of Fu'un-ken (Hayate), Rebecca: Yip! Tsuneo: Now stop that already. >a world championship wrestler (Eagle), Dan: [Eagle] Vince! Hire me, please! >and a >rhythmic gymnastics expert (Carol, who recently changed her weapon from a ball >to a chakram after watch numerous re-runs of Xena: Warrior Princess). All: ... Rebecca: The synchronised swimmer barely missed the cut. >With his >new team formed, Kim and friends set off for the tournament, hoping to make >the island nation of Jipang well known. Tsuneo: Well it IS rather well known in its proper spelling. >Each person, however, has their own objectives (Hayate wants Rebecca: Dog biscuits and l337 ju4r3z! Yip! Tsuneo: Sto- Er, how did you pronounce that? >to prove his Fu'un-ken is mightier than the Kyokugen fighting style, Gem: [Hayate] Fear my Fu'un-ken style! It's Fu'un-ken awesome! Dan: Fu'un-ken yeah! Rebecca: Yip! >Eagle wants to prove he's a better grappler than the Ikari Warriors, Tsuneo: If you want to take on the Death Valley Driver Of Certain Doom, that's your problem. >Kim Sue Il wishes to be reunited with his older brother, Kim Kaphwan, Tsuneo: You're just making this up. Rebecca: I wonder if the authour realises how common a family name 'Kim' is in Korea. Dan: [Kim Kaphwan] Why yes, I'm related to the North Korean dictator! >whom he hasn't seen in many years, and Carol wants Joe Higashi all >for herself). Rebecca: MY GOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?!? >Will these newcomers prove to the world that island nations are >to be respected, and not made fun of? Tsuneo: It's name, at least. >To Be Continued In The King Of Fighters 2001! >...and there you have it. That's it for this story. Please send all >feedback to >insaneben@yahoo.com. ABC ya! [Gem jumps up, yanks the TV from the entertainment cabinet, swings around and throws it out the window.] Gem: I feel much better now. Dan: Sometimes the direct approach works best. Rebecca: Don't worry about the TV. Temps are allowed to wreck it on their first time. Voice: They bloody well are not. Gem: And what about subsequent times? Rebecca: I guess you're allowed to wreck it then too. Dan: We do it all the time. Voice: Excuse me! Tsuneo: Sorry, voice. You know they won't listen. Voice: Well could you at least do your recaps- I mean, reviews? Gem: I guess I must. Alright. You look at this fic, and you can tell that the authour didn't actually put any thought into it. There was just about no planning or editing, and he seemed to come up with new ideas half way through and badly paste them in. Like, he would have thought "I'll put in the Fatal Fury team," but couldn't figure out what to do with them. Plus there was the title, which only actually became relevant two-thirds of the way through. Tsuneo: What bugs me is how he ignored the details of the games. It's clear he knows a lot about them, such as Shingo and Kasumi's notebooks, Rock Howard's cameo in 2001 and so on, but he carefully ignored the major ones such as CYS being dead or Southtown's destruction because they were inconvenient. Consistency, man! Dan: Why oh why would you base a fic around that team? I mean, he goes on about how lame and such Hinako and Xiangfei are, then choses two of the most lame characters around and makes them the centre of the story. In fact, that's what got me the most; how he shoves his character opinions down our throats. Rebecca: The characterisation in this fic was nearly non existent. Shingo is seen to be a clumsy, inept clod, and Chris is depicted as a whiney brat, but that's about as far as it goes. Nobody really shows much character beyond a simple one line summary, like "Mature and Vice are evil", and even then a lot of characters, like Mai and Rosa, don't even get any character at all. Voice: Well, uh, thanks for that. Gem: Fu'un-ken off, voice. Rebecca: Cute touch. Dan: So what do you say about the team, Gem? Do you want to give it a go? Gem: I think I'd sooner take my chances with playing in traffic. Rebecca: Well, according to your profile, you seem to spend most of your time setting yourself up to get beat up by picking fightds with people bigger, stronger and moew powerful than yourself. Gem: Yes, but then at least I can see what's coming. Dan: So that's a no? Gem: I may be rash and impulsive, but I'm not stupid. Rebecca: ...your profile also says you're sleeping with a sociopathic stripper. Gem: ... Tsuneo: So what should we do this year? Rebecca: Well there's allways Tango. Tsuneo: NO! Rebecca: Spoilsport. Dan: We could ask Sandra if she wants to help out. Rebecca: I'm not putting up with a motormout likme her in SNKglish. Tsuneo: We could just get ourselves disqualified like we have the last few years. Gem: That may be the sensible option. Dan: So let's not do it and enter this guy as our fourth team member. [He dives behind the couch and pulls out the evil black furby of darkness] Gem: Uh, was there some minumum requirement to join the team? Tsuneo: Same as the Female Fighters team. Rebecca: Beat up Dan. Gem: I think I may try out after all. [She leaps on Dan. The screen goes blank] Dan: AAaagh! Make it stop! The pain! The pain! Furby: I am victorious and happy as an oyster! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@elmerstudios.com) & Zogster (jinas@elmerstudios.com) Gem, Dan and Tsuneo Tateo are copyright 1995-2002 Max Fauth (Zogster) Rebecca Bartley is copyright 1995-2002 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.elmerstudios.com All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, random DELTA Invasion Episode Generator and the Satellite of Rednecks in one spot. Rick's Cruel Mockery of HTML: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm Fighters Anthology .lib and mission files, utterly disturbing Nova Satori shrine, Osama Bin Laden's Camel, the AntiKevs and Fanfic Carp, all in one big steaming pile. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >King: A scientific illustrator ninja, huh? That's a new one.