"Well so far I must say that I'm not too impressed" Sandra commented as the four of them returned to the SoR's bridge. "OK, so it's not that much like the movie" Sean replied. "But it can't be that bad" "It is" Sandra returned. "You see, for years, Robotech the movie was relatively unknown. Many people had heard of it, but no-one had seen it. Fans had been clamoring for a comic adaptation of the movie and when they finally get one, it's nothing like the movie" "Ouch" Matt commented. "But it got me thinking of something" Kara said. "I was thinking about clone BD In the movie, and I got to thinking about how useful it would be to have a clone of yourself" "How so?" Matt replied, curious. "Well, think about it." She answered. "You get to do all the fun stuff, while your clone gets to do all the stuff you hate" "Like you could go out while your clone stays at home and cleans the place up" Sean replied. "Exactly" Kara answered. "So... I could go hiking while my clone does all the paperwork needed to run a small army" Matt mused. "It'd make my life a lot easier" "I could take a day off while my clone deals with unruly cadets" Sean added. "It sounds great" "And think of all the things you could be doing, Sandra while your clone stays at the office and does, well, Earth President stuff" Kara finished. "What? I could go out, be enigmatic, fly around in a customised black mech and talk like 2020's street trash?" Sandra answered. "Um... but you do all that stuff anyway" Sean replied. "But you could do more of it!" Kara added, not sure what to make of Sandra's odd lifestyle. "Isn't it cool?" "You're over looking one thing" Sandra stated, flatly. "What if it's an evil clone?" "But I wouldn't order an evil clone" Matt replied. "Oh sure, but what if they sent you a defective clone?" She answered. "While you're out doing stuff, there's no telling what it's up to" "So... I could tell my evil clone to grade exams, but it could grade them wrongly" Kara said. "Or it just goes out and doesn't do them at all" "It could fill in all the paperwork wrong" Matt mused. "And bring my army to its knees. Not that it'd be hard or anything." "And think of what an evil clone could do in the office of the Earth President" Sandra finished. "What if it started seeing your husband or wife behind your back?" Kara asked. "Good thing none of us are married" Matt replied. "And seeing as you go out all the time, you'd never know if your clone was being evil behind your back" Sean finished. "So it's probably not worth all the worry" Sandra stated. There was a long silence. "You know, here's another thought" Kara suddenly piped up. "What if the real BD Andrews is a nice guy? He does nice things like donate to charities and help little old ladies across the street, while his clone tries to take over the world and kill people" "Wow. That would hurt a guy's reputation" Sean commented. "Watch BD In Megazone 23, and then ask me that again" Sandra added. Lights started flashing and sirens started wailing. "Right now, we've got comic book sign!" [Door 5 - It's one of the doors from the Death Star. It whooshes up and you proceed.] [Door 4 - It's a revolving door. You go around several times then proceed.] [Door 3 - It's a double wooden door with wrought-iron edging set in stonework. It creaks open and you proceed] [Door 2 - It's a rolling garage door. You force it open and proceed] [Door 1 - It's a vault door. You swing it open and proceed] [Sandra walks in and sits down on the far left. Sean sits next to her, and Kara next to him. Matt sits down on the right] > [MODAT cockpit. Mark is lying unconscious in the foreground. Eve is > on the cracked main screen.] Sean [Mark]: Boy... did I hit the hard stuff last night... > End of the world as we know it Sandra: Yeah yeah, been there, seen that. > Story: Benny R. Powell Matt: You've got to give Benny-boy this much. He's being original. Sandra: Oh yes... > Pencils: Chi > Inks: Chi (Pages 4, 5, 19, 22, 25) Kara: Hey... if the artist's doing his own inks, who's he meant to blame when the art comes back looking terrible? Sean: Ink gouts freely... Page ruined... Don't... go into... shock... > Naser Subashi (Pages 1-3, 6-8,14-18, > 20-21, 23-24, 26-32), Carlos Montanez (Pages 9-13) Sean: Three inkers, none of whom were on the first issue. > Ink Assists: Winston Blakely & Joe Pantone Kara: Say, what does the ink assist do anyway? Sean: Cop the blame. > Based on a story by: Carl Macek Sandra: I think there might have been some resemblance. > Eve: > Ktzzz < Mark plea... > Ktzzz< espond Mark. Sean: That's a pretty lousy line you've got there. > Are you OK? ... > Ktzzz < are you alive? Kara: You can never answer "no" to that one, can you? Sandra: Only in a Marvel book. > [Supreme command building] > Supreme command headquarters building Kara: Thankyou, Mr Statement of the bleedingly obvious. > Embry [V/O]: He did what?!?! Matt [Embry]: Red with apricot? What was he thinking? > [Embry talking to screen] Sean: He's yelling at his laptop now. He needs help. > Embry: You are telling me that Andrews has been having you transmit all of the > EVE's data to an unused satellite while we are in the midst of an interstellar > war? Sandra [Embry]: And why am I repeating everything you just said? > Tech [V/O]: Yes sir. That is correct. Sean: You win tonight's grand prize of sixty-four! > He claimed it was due to maintenance checks. Matt: That's his story and he's sticking to it. Sean: What kind of maintenance check would require you to upload all the computer's data to a satellite anyway? Sandra: The one that comes out of a government office. > [Tech on screen] > Tech: But I decided to check the buffer Kara: Michael Buffer? Sean: If he started now, he'd still be going when the comic's over. > to see if it was a secure > transmission, and found that the data was being relayed to somewhere > else. Matt [Tech]: The worrying thing is that it's all going to Des Moines. Sandra: Actually, it's all going to a small island 400 miles from Hawaii. Matt: Well that's obscure. > [Embry] > Embry: Andrews is either a fool All: He is. > or has his own agenda and right now we haven't the luxury for either. Sandra: How about both? > Stop that transmission right now > and don't let it resume under any circumstances. I'm on my way there. Matt: Quick! To the batcave! > [EVE computer core] > [Tech 2] Sandra: Well that was a waste of a precious panel. Sean: Poor Tech 2. He plays second filled to a nameless extra. > Tech 2: I wouldn't want to be around when Andrews finds out about this... Sean: You work there. Trust me, you'll know when he does. > [UEG Council chambers. BD and Lukas are at the door with a group of > armoured GMP soldiers.] Sandra: Huh? This scene happened before some of the stuff from the last issue! What's going on here? Sean: Maybe Benny-boy just chopped up the script and pulled scenes out of a hat at random order. Matt: What I want to know is where did BD get half a dozen seven-foot tall GMP lieutenants from. > Tech 2 [V/O]: "...There's no telling what he'll do!" Sean: Twenty says he puts on a tutu and dances Swan Lake. > BD: Good evening, gentlemen. I believe this meeting is over. Kara: Did it even begin? Matt: Hey, is that Dilbert down there? > [Soldiers gun down UEG council] Sandra [Sarcastic]: Well that was a totally unexpected turn of events. > SFX: BAM BAM Kara: Bigelow. > BAM BAM Kara: Bigelow [Sean slaps her on the back of the head] Sorry. > General: Arrgh Sean: No, no, no! You've got to put more emotion into it! > General: Unh! Sean: Much better. > General: Aaargh > General: Yaaaa! Matt [Deapan]: Aieee. > [BD holding radio with GMP soldier in background] > BD: Lukas, our meeting is concluded with the Supreme Command. Matt [Lukas]: But sir, I'm right next to you. Why are you radioing me? Sandra: Who's writing his dialogue, Yoda? > [Anaconda MBT bashes down gates, with Harguns and gunship behind it > and surrendering soldier in foreground] Matt [Soldier]: Awww... great. I just wet 'em. Sean: Wow. 120mm cannons look so big from this point of view. Sandra: Hang on, isn't that the police VTOL from Megazone 23 part 2? > BD [V/O]: "...Commence with the mop-up outside won't you?" Kara: Don't you have a cleaner for that? > [Close-up on BD's face] Sean [BD]: I'm Evil! With a capital E! > BD: Your president thanks you. [All start humming "Hail to the chief"] > [Embry outside apartment block] Matt [Dramatic]: Dr. Richard Kimble returns home, unaware of the fate in store for him... > [Embry shadowed in foreground, Becky and Stacy in background] Sean: Honey, I'm home. > [Stacy leaning on Becky in apartment, Embry in background, Kelly's arm in > foreground] Sandra: Could someone clean that up? It's beginning to smell. > Embry: Kelly?!? Kara: She can't come to the phone right now. Do you want to leave a message? > [Becky] > Becky: Mister Embry... what is going on? Sandra: A Crappy adaptation of a movie. > First, Mark goes missing when > he gets some stupid bike that can transform into a robot. Matt: Why is it that people are talking about mecha like they've never heard of them before? > Then someone kills Kelly and destroys all of her work. Sean: Film critics, go fig. > And when I tried to call the > police I was told that the Supreme Command building was under fire and > they would get to us as soon as possible. Sandra: Sounds like a June, Luke and Polly night at Sun Hill to me. [June Akland] Sun Hill to Sierra Oscar, we have a report of a disturbance at the Supreme Command buildings. Eyewitnesses report two IC1 males and several tanks. Anyone available? > What is going on?!? > [Embry, Becky and Stacy] > Embry: It's war. Kara: Is RAW. > Those rumours that have been circulating are true Sean: What, even the one about you, the cast of Friends and the tub of lime jelly? > and right now rather than fighting the enemy, we've turned on our selves. Matt: Sounds like the Australian Labour Party to me. > Right now... nobody is safe. > [Stacy, crying] > Stacy: Daddy, I'm scared. Sandra: Be afraid... be very afraid. Matt: Any reason? [Sandra shrugs] > [Embry] > Embry: So am I pumpkin. So am I. > [Embry, Becky and Stacy in apartment] > Embry: That's why I'm sending you girls away from here for your own > safety. I have to head right into the belly of the beast and try to > do my part to fix things. Sandra: Whoa! Hang on! Embry was leaving with Stacy to get away from Andrews. And they left Becky behind! This is nothing like the movie at all! > [Embry, Becky and Stacy] > Becky: Hold on just one minute. If you think you're sending us off > on our own to keep us out of harms way like a couple of damsels in > distress you've got another thing coming. All: Um... Huh? Sandra: Since when did Becky get this assertive? She spend most of the movie moping around! This is completely OOC! Matt: Any more so and it'd be Aftermath. > Stacy: Yeah, what she said. Kara [Stacy]: I'm with stupid. > Embry: But... Matt: I guess we're loosing major plot adherence points. > Stacy: No buts about it. You said it yourself. Nobody is safe! If I'm > gonna die, I wanna die fighting. Sandra: All right, this is totally f***ed up right here. > [Embry opening car boot, Stacy and Becky in background.] Sean: Whoah... look at all the junk he keeps in here... Golf clubs, esky, empty cardboard boxes, thermos flask... Clean out your car, for God's sake! > Stacy: I can't believe you agreed. All: Neither can we. > Embry: Becky is right You're not little girls anymore. Sandra: Not with the way this artist draws them. > You can take > care of yourselves. And I'd only spend my energies worrying about you > if I send you away. Sandra: Unless you'd gone with them... And I don't recall Embry worrying about Becky at all. > They may even try to use you to get to me. > [Embry holding two suit bags, Stacy and Becky in foreground] Matt: What's in there? Sean: A pair of carefully pre-pressed Tuxedoes. He's the emergency backup car for Mamoru. > Embry: But you're not going unprepared. I happen to have two of these > proto-types of mine in the trunk. Try them on. They're a special alloy > that should allow them to fit you perfectly. Sean: Is it just me, or did that last paragraph seem fundamentally wrong somehow? > Stacy: Huh? Matt: You said it, Stacy. > [Embry] > Several minutes later... Matt: How long have we been watching this? It seems like hours. > Embry: Hurry up in there girls. Sean: Some things you just can't rush. Kara: I ought to hit you for that. > We haven't a moment to waste. > [Becky and Stacy getting undressed] Sandra: Now this is more like MegaZone 23 than Robotech: The Movie. Matt: Any reason? Sandra: Fan service. > Becky: Oh Stacy, I don't know what to make of all this. Kara: Becky, I think Mr. Embry has issues. > Do you? All: Not at all. > Stacy: Not at all. I'm pretty much still clueless about the whole thing. > Space aliens coming to destroy the Earth? It all sounds so silly. Sandra: WHAT?! So... Let me get this straight... She finds the idea of aliens attacking the Earth to be silly? What happened fifteen years ago then? The Zentraedi, SDF-1, most of the Earth's surface being destroyed... > [Becky and Stacy in tight-fitting suits with metal vests] > Becky: But somehow it all makes sense. Matt: It does? > Hmmm... Hard to believe that this outfit can stop most gunfire. Sandra: See also GURPs' "Cheesecake armour" and "Bulletproof nudity" rules. > It's simply incredible. Your dad amazes me. Sandra: So Mr. Embry is carrying around a pair of tight-fitting jumpsuits in their sizes and low-cut chainmail vests in his car? He'd amaze me too. > Stacy: If you say so. But I fell all wobbly in it. And it's kinda snug in > some places. Kara: I think that's a little more info than we needed. > [Embry carrying assault rifles] Matt: You know, before he was Minister of Computer Science, Embry used to work in a post office. > Embry: That's not all... I'm not going to lie to you girls. Sean [Embry]: This is going to be easy. There's nothing to worry about at all. > It's going to get ugly out there, Kara: It's getting pretty ugly in here. > so each of you should be prepared for the worst. > These are high-powered mini-projectile cannons. All: Uh? Sean: So they're... guns then. > They are my latest design. Sandra: Embry has way too much time on his hands. [The others nod] > [Becky and Embry] > Becky: But Professor, I've never used a gun in my life. Kara: Isn't this a part of the NRA's "arm a toddler" campaign? Sean: That's right. No teenaged girl should be without a high-powered assault rifle or two. > [Stacy holding rifle] > Stacy: Oh its easy. I've seen 'em on TV all the time. Sean [Stacy]: All you do is pull the trigger and three bad guys fall down at once while bits of scenery explodes. Easy! > You just pull this little trigger right here... Matt: Uh... Stacy? That's your finger. > [Stacy's gun firing wildly] Matt: I guess she doesn't have a WP for it yet. Sandra: I think this would be an appropriate time for a message from the gun control lobby. Throw in one about winners not doing drugs as well. > SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM > Stacy: DaddyyyYYY!!! > [Becky looking scared] Kara: Well that worked. Matt: About now I would be considering other options. Running around in blind panic sounds nice. > [Becky and Stacy posing with guns] Sean: Stacy Embry and Becky Michaels are the Dirty Pair! Kara [Becky]: That's Lovely Angels! Sandra: I dunno... I think the odds of the city blowing up are pretty good right here and now. > Becky: OK Professor, let's kick some butt! Sandra... I just can't see her saying that. > [Becky, Stacy and Embry in front of EVE core] Matt [Embry]: You like it? I built it myself. > Embry: Well girls, Welcome to the EVE complex. > Stacy: You want us to go in there??? Sandra: No, he wants you to stand around outside gawping at it. Sean: You were so determined just a few panels ago. What happened? > [Embry, Becky, Stacy and techs in computer room] > Embry: Hello men. Sorry it took so long, Matt: There was a bit of conjestion around the command building. Something about some tanks or something... > but how's she holding up. Sean: I dunno... You designed the costumes they're in. > [Embry, Becky and Stacy] > Eve [V/O]: Why don't you ask me yourself, Professor? Matt [Embry]: I didn't think of that. > [Eve on big screen] Kara: That's one hell of a wide-screen TV they've got in there. > Eve: So far as I have been able to surmise, nearly 98% of my memory > banks have been transferred to the alien fleet. Sandra: Hang on... I thought they were just copying it. Now it sounds like they were moving all the information. Some constancy would be nice, if nothing else. > I still posses my core > programming and was able to encode all the data so that it would prove > useless to them without all of the all of the data in its entirety. Kara: Don't you hate it when the connection hangs when you've got all but the last tiny bit of a file? > But > unless this complex and all of my memory banks are completely destroyed, Sandra: How would you do that? It's one mighty big complex. Matt: Their secret weapon: Scottish Soccer Hooligans. > it will only be a matter of time before Andrews uses his military might > to force me to continue the upload. It is my belief that there is a > 99.975% Sean: Or thereabouts. Matt: Only a 99.975% chance? Can't you be a bit more exact. > probability that the Masters have constructed a genetic clone > and are manipulating him to being about their whims. Sandra: And you reached this conclusion... how? Kara: On the other hand, he could just have a Yerk stuck in his ear. > Embry: But why is he doing this? Matt: Didn't we just mention the clone bit? > Stacy: Eve's a computer? Sandra: No, she's a frost-free fridge. > [Embry and Becky] > Becky: Eve... Last I knew Mark Landry, my boyfriend was on his way to see > you. Do you know...? Sean: What is the time in Beirut? Kara: Where all my left socks got too? Matt: what is the average annual rainfall of the Amazon Basin? Sandra: Where the plot went? > [Eve's eye] Sandra: Of Argon. > Eve: I'm sorry Becky. Mark... is dead. Matt: He's dead, Jim. > [Becky, frightened] > [Hargun smashes though the screen] Sean [BD]: I didn't need that computer. Kara: Hey look. It's Stone Cold BD Andrews coming to whup some ass. > BD: And you're about to join him! > [BD in Hargun cockpit] Matt: You know, he really should be wearing some armour in there. He might get hurt. Sean: Ahh... If piloting in only street clothes is good enough for the Hero, it's good enough for him. > BD: I was tempted to send my troops to do this but some things > require the personal touch. Sandra: Why? It's not like you know them or anything. You've never met most of these people before in your life. > [Becky looking up at Hargun] > Becky: You killed Mark! You... you... you... Kara [Becky]: Nasty, nasty person. > [Becky and Stacy firing] Sandra: Wow. BD Must be just trembling in fear. > SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM Matt: How many of those shots do you reckon are actually hitting? Sean: Depends. What's the Autofire Ratio for this campaign? > Becky: Just shut up and die! Kara [BD]: Make me. > [Hargun towering over Becky and Stacy] Matt [BD]: I'm huge! > Becky: My clip's dry. Kara: You need to change brands. Those ones you're using run out too fast. Matt: Try turning the infinite ammo cheat on next time. > You? > Stacy: Did we get him? Sandra: No luck. You were using SDC weapons on an MDC structure. Matt: And besides which, you weren't doing 25 hits at a time. > [Hargun head close-up] > BD: Hah hah hah hah HAH! Kara [Stacy]: I'll take that as a no. > Fun's over, now you die. Sandra: Oh my. What a gripping life or death situation. I sure hope there's a convenient Deus Ex Machina around to save our heroes. > [Fighter bursts through floor, Hargun dodging out of way] Sandra: Can I call 'em or what? > SFX: KFRBOOOM Sean: Wow. If there was anything left of this room before BD got to it, there ain't now. Kara: Gee, Mr. Hero Person, next tine could you pick an entry that doesn't risk life and limb of the good guys? > [Hargun crashes into wall] > SFX: WHAM > [Embry] > Embry: My goodness. It's the MODAT-6 prototype. Sandra: OK, this is officially f***ed up beyond all recognition right here and now. I just thought I'd say that. > [BD] > BD: Impossible! Matt [Guy from Princess Bride]: Inconceivable! > The suit was non-functional the minute the uplink to > the EVE was severed. Who would dare? Sean: One guess. And no, it isn't Batman or the Dred Pirate Robbins. > [MODAT-6 transforming] > [MODAT-6 in battloid mode] Sandra: So... it's a mixture of the GR-2 Garland and Wilde-Sau. This is so damned stupid. > Mark: I dare Andrews! Mark Landry.. Ring a bell? Sean [BD]: No, I don't get it at all. Sandra: the funny thing is, all the scenes of character development and the antagonistic relationship between Mark and BD were skipped back in part one. > [Mark close-up] Sean: It's time for an extreme close up! > Mark: Let's finish what we started. Sandra: Good. I can't take too much more of this crap. > [Hargun running] Kara: Hold it! Time out for a refreshing pose break everybody! > BD: It doesn't matter which battloid you're in... Sean: Go up against a MAC II in a Battle Pod and tell me that again. > When I kill you this time... Kara [BD]: You'll die of it! > [BD In cockpit] > BD: You'll STAY dead! All: They never do. > [MODAT-6 punches Hargun's face in] Sean: Well that worked. Matt: Hey, I'm sure this is all a part of his master plan. > BD: Urk... Kara: Urk? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Sandra: Urk, in the existentialist sense, of course. > [BD in cockpit, static on monitors] Sean: He needs to get a new aerial. > BD: No!!! My monitors!!! Matt: BD Andrews, another sad victim of screen burn-in. > [MODAT-6 kicks Hargun] All [Singing]: They were Kung-fu fighting... fast as lightning... > [MODAT-6's guns firing] > Eve [V/O]: Main particle cannons locked and firing. Matt: So why didn't you just blast him with the big guns to start with? Sandra: Maybe he was worried about hitting someone. Matt: After bursting up through the floor like that, it's not an issue. > [BD exploding] Matt: Then, BD explode. > BD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sandra: Deal. > [Explosion] Kara: Hey, is that just the same old stock of the Death Star going up again? > [Hargun head at MODAT-6 feet] Sandra: Notice how being blown up bashed the faceplate back into shape... > [MODAT-6 with Becky in foreground] Matt: Ewww... check out the inking in this panel. It's terrible. Sean: Heh.. inconsistent linework thickness. It's like Robotech: Megastorm all over again. > Becky: Mark! Mark... You're alive! Matt [Mark]: YoU cOuLd CaLl It ThAt. It'S aLl ToGeThEr A UnIqUe ExPeRiEnCe. > [Mark in cockpit with Embry on screen] Kara: This show's dull. Can you change the channel? > Embry: Mark, how did you...? > Mark: I'll tell you, professor. Matt: Sit right back and I'll tell you a tale, a tale of a fateful trip... > [Mark crawling out of ruined MODAT cockpit] Sean [Mark]: Man, did I get whakced or what... > Mark [V/O]: "I thought I was pretty much done for. I came pretty close > to dying." Kara: Was there a tunnel and a bright light? > [Mark, injured] Sandra: OK.... so far this is stuff from the movie. Of course, it wasn't told as a flashback. And EVE was guiding him. > Mark [V/O]: "I stumbled around for a long time until almost by accident > I found a hidden room. Sean: Hiding the secret door behind the book case... What was BD thinking? Everyone looks there. > [MODAT-6 in fighter mode in hanger] Matt: That looks way too big for the size it was depicted as earlier. Some consistency would be nice. > Mark [V/O]: I climbed inside and it's controls were exactly like the > MODAT. And when I tried to start her up Eve was there to greet me. > She told me you were all in danger and so I came. Sandra: OK... this is sort of like the end of the movie, but with a different fighter, Mark not being guided by EVE, lacking the soldiers, with a different climatic battle... Kara: So it's really nothing like the end of the movie, is it? Sandra: They could have at least left the Space Hargun in. That thing was neat. > [MODAT-6 in computer room attached to computers] Sean: Typical... Most powerful computer they've got and he's using it to download porn onto his mecha. Matt [Tech]: Well, according to this, you're either dead or a Cocker Spaniel. Either way, you're screwed. Sandra: You know, they got that screen fixed real fast. > Embry: Mark, I want to thank you for what you are about to do. It is > quite brave of you. Kara: I don't think I want to know what he's about to do. > Mark: Hey... it's my planet too, ya know. Let's just get it over with. Sandra: What's he going to do? Is he going to use the MODAT-6 to eliminate the Masters just like that? Or is it something even more contrived? > [Emerson on screen] > Emerson: Of course I'll send in the full battalion to provide cover for > your man. Kara: Would you like fries with that? > But how will one man succeed where all else have failed. Sean [Emerson]: Never mind that, where's my question mark? > We can't even get through their sheilds. > Embry: the answer is two-fold, Emerson... Matt [Embry]: I have a cunning plan, Milord. > [MODAT-6 in flight] > Embry [V/O]: "First, we've learned through Eve's connection to the aliens > that their ships are extremely vulnerable to attack. It is their complete > reliance on their shields which contributes to this. Sandra: Uhh... No. The Master's ships have heavily armoured hulls as well as their shields. They don't rely solely in the shields to protect them. > It would take only a > small tactical nuclear warhead to create a chain reaction that would > obliterate the mother-ship itself. Sandra: You know, I was only joking about him wiping out the Masters on his own... > And as for the shielding, we've learned > that the MODATs have a special shielding which will allow them to pass > through completely unfazed. Sandra: Ok, this is completely screwed up beyond all recognition right here and now! Matt: Stay calm, Sandra. We've only got seven more pages to go. And they're probably going to be three panel ones, too. > [Mark] > Mark: Oh my. Sean: Additional dialogue by Kasumi Tendo. > [MODAT-6 above Earth] Kara: My god... it's full of stars. > Mark: Explain to me again Eve. Kara [Eve]: Well, when a Mummy and a Daddy love each other very much... > Why on Earth would Andrews create the > MODATs with the capacity to breach the alien shields? Sandra: Umm... because you need a conveniently contrived way to get in there? > Eve [V/O]: Well, Mark. Andrews was a clone of the original Col. Andrews. > He knew what the aliens were planning and was building the MODATs so > that he would have a means of escaping himself to the mother-ship when > they began to destroy the Earth. Matt: Wait... let me get this straight... Todd said that he was testing the MODAT before Andrews disappeared and that it was being developed by Supreme Command.... but then it was being developed in secret and Supreme Command didn't know about it... And then BD only built the MODATs after he was replaced... Aaaagh! My brain's melting! > Mark: Speaking of Mother-ships... How will I know which one it is? Sean: Look for the one with the blinking pink neon lights saying "Mother Ship!" > [Group of Master's Motherships] Matt: Those have got to be the worst drawn motherships I've ever seen. > Eve: I would think it rather obvious, Mark. Sandra: Uhh... No. They look all the same. > [MODAT-6 in fighter mode amongst Bioroids and Logans] Sean [Announcer]: There's heavy traffic on the interstate... it's banked up for miles. If you're planning on using it, expect long delays. > Mark: Whoa! These guys mean business. Kara: And here was me thinking they were shooting at you for the fun of it. > If it weren't for the diversions, I'd be toast! > Eve: Mark, pay attention. Sandra: Now sit up straight! No slouching! > We're coming to the vessel's shielding... Sean: Is this the time to mention that they haven't tested the MODAT's special shielding? > [Mark in cockpit with electricity flying] Sandra: Wow... Static's bad in there. Matt: There's these little things called surge protectors. Everyone's heard of them. Except Starfleet, that is. > Eve: Now... And we're through it... Kara: Well that was easy. > [Power core in target sight] > Eve [V/O]: Quickly, Mark. There's the access tunnel on our scanners. Sandra: What? Come on! The 15th ATAC had to fight their way through hordes of Bioroids and then blast open part of the hull to get to the access tunnel! I refuse to believe that it would be that blatantly marked! This is just a bad rip-off of Star Wars! And even then the Evil Empire protected their ludicrous weak spots. Matt: Calm blue ocean, Sandra. We've only got five more pages to go. Sandra: I can't take too much more of this. > Target is locked on. > [MODAT-6 above mothership] > Mark: This reminds me of an old movie Kelly made me watch. Kara: this reminds me of a bad dream I once had, only without the flying purple stoats. [They all look at her] What? > What was that phrase? Sean: Huston, we have a problem. Matt: In space, no-one can hear you scream. Kara: To infinity, and beyond. Sandra: I am Torgo... I look after the place while the Master is away. > [MODAT-6 fires missile] > Mark: May the force be with you... Suckers! [They all throw assorted objects at the screen] > [Masters] > Computer: Warning. High velocity projectile detected heading for central > power core. Kara: The worst part is, the ship wasn't insured. > Masters: NooooooOOO Sean: Gotcha, suckers! > [Explosion] Sandra: Everyone uses that shot of the Death Star exploding... > [Computer room, Becky running outside] > Embry: No! Mark was too near the blast! The reaction took place faster > than was expected! Sean: Boy, did you guys mess up big time or what. > Stacy: Where are you going, Becky? Kara [Becky]: Biological emergency! > [Mark in cockpit with speed lines] > Eve [V/O]: Warning... Mark, we're entering Earth's atmosphere at an > uncontrolled angle. Matt: So... you survived being attacked by Harguns, beat up by BD, chucked down a hole, shot at by the entire Robotech master's fleet and a massive nuclear explosion only to die on re-entry. Kinda ironic, don't you think? > [MODAT-6 hitting atmosphere] > Eve: Eject Mark, EJECT! Sandra: Ejecting during uncontrolled re-entry? You'd be just as dead. > [Explosion, Becky in foreground] Matt [Hammy]: No-one could have lived through that! > Becky: Mar... Matt: Marauder? Sean: Magruder? Kara: Marvel? Sandra: Mar Gawd. > [Becky] > [Explosion with silhouette of MODAT] Sean: Oh look. He's fine. We just wanted to add a little tension to this piece of crap. > [MODAT in battloid mode] Sandra: Oh... very funny. Matt: What now? Sandra: That's the Prototype Garland that Shogo used in MZ23 part II. > [MODAT transforming] > [MODAT in bike mode] Sean: Stupid question, but how does he plan to land it like that? > [Mark] > Mark: Oh Becky!!! > [Becky] > Becky: Mark! Oh, Mark! Kara: Oh, John! Sean: Oh, Beatrice! Kara: Oh, John! Sean: Oh, Beatrice! Kara: Oh, John! Sean: Oh, Beatrice! Matt: Oh, shut up! > [Becky and Mark kissing with Embry, Stacy ant technicians in background, > Eve on screen and fighters flying overhead.] Sandra: Ewoks playing drums on Stormtrooper helmets, the ghosts of Yoda, Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker and a big group hug. > THE END Sandra: Any resemblance to Robotech the movie is a product of your imagination. Matt: No clones were harmed in the making of this comic. [They get up and leave] [Door 1 - It's a vault door. It swings shut as you leave] [Door 2 - It's a rolling garage door. You wrestle it shut and proceed] [Door 3 - It's a double wooden door with wrought-iron edging set in stonework. It creaks shut and you proceed] [Door 4 - It's a revolving door. You go around several times then proceed.] [Door 5 - It's one of the doors from the Death Star. It whooshes down and nearly takes your feet off as you proceed.] The four of them wearily filed into the SoR's bridge. Sandra was at the end, looking the worst for wear. "I thought I could survive anything they threw at us" Sandra gasped. "I survived Megastorm and Aftermath. But this..." "Maybe it's because it's an adaptation of existing material rather than a supposedly original work that it hurts more" Matt answered. "An original work has an excuse for being bad; it's something the author created. But an adaptation of good material has a good base to work from" "Or it could be that the new stuff was crap" Kara added. "You're both right" Sandra answered as she stretched and shook her head a few times. "I've survived much worse... Nuclear wars, collapse of civilization, that kind of thing" "You just need to relax" Sean added. "Care for a game of Calvinball sometime?" Kara asked. "We've got at least one spare Zorro mask" "Thanks" Sandra replied as the Mad's Light began flashing. "But we'll have to save it for later. Right now Bishoff and Russo are calling us" "Yes, my Queen!" Kara snapped off and stormed over to the control panel. "What's with Kara?" Sean asked. "She needs to relax more" Matt answered as Kara pushed the button. The gormless faces of Louisa and Carla, still wearing the "Master" and "Slave" T-Shirts appeared on the monitor. "Greetings to you, Space Monkeys" Louisa cheerfully announced. "Ohayo, Kara-Chan!" Carla added, and got beaned over the head with a Kevin Nash inaction figure. "You know, I'd object to the way you treat her if it wasn't so darned fun to watch" Sandra commented. "What'd I do?" Carla whined. "What have I said about using Fanboy Japanese around here?" Louisa asked, holding Kevin with malicious intent. "That if I did it again, you'd have to give me a thorough spanking, Louisa-Sama" "That's right... hang on" Louisa looked at her evilly, then turned back to the monitor. "Where was I?" "Space Monkeys" Sean replied. "Oh yes. How did you enjoy my little experiment for the day, boobies? Feeling nice and mad now? Ready to bow down before the will of the almighty me?" "Nope" Kara casually replied. "Is there a reason for this?" Louisa asked. "Or should I just save time and pump all the air out of the station?" "Well you did come close" Sandra replied. "At first it was just reading as a bad adaptation of the movie. Scenes were cut or re-arranged, dialogue heavily stilted, that kind of stuff. But then it came around to the second part and took a turn for the worse." She paused. "The total re-writing of the end of the movie was bad enough and the new stuff was quite implausible. But the thing was that in the end it was quite goofy. Not really that bad but quite silly. Knowing the original material did make it hurt more, though" "Good thing none of us have seen the movie" Matt added. "Except for Sandra, of course" "Hey, I've got a reputation for being all-knowing to maintain" She replied. "Basically, most of the new stuff was just plain silly" Sean continued. "I mean, that whole scene with Embry giving the girls firearms was pretty ludicrous. And the Amazingly Contrived MODAT-6 with all its super powers came of as just plain stupid" "Plus the dialogue was just too corny to believe" Kara finished. "See, I told you it wouldn't work" CABAAL's disembodied voice came across the speakers. "But you didn't listen to me. If we did things my way, we'd be ruling the world by now" "Thank you CABAAL" Louisa replied. "But if I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it" "What about my opinion?" Carla asked. "Carla, no-one would want your opinion" She replied. "Now push the button" "Sure thing, boss!" Carla pushed the button and the screen went blank. "Now, about that spanking..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MSTer's notes: Thanks to Stan "Basara" Bundy who recommended doing this one. His fanfic, "The Andrews Incident" provided some inspiration for this MSTing, as well as his comments about the comic "adaptation". While talking to Bas, I learned a couple of interesting facts about the movie. It seems that it was going to be set during the first Robotech war and be about the RDF hiding the truth about the Zentraedi from the public. Mark Landry was meant to be Rick Hunter's cousin or something like that. There were no Robotech Masters whatsoever. And BD Andrews was originally going to be called... get this... BD Edwards. The plot calls for him surviving the coup, but losing his right eye and being scarred in the process. He would later adopt a metal faceplate to cover said scarring. Later, he joined the REF and tried to take it over. That's right, BD Edwards is one and the same as our good pal, TR Edwards. (Who is called "BD Edwards" several times in Robotech Art 3". And no, he was *not* a clone.) Part two of the Movie adaptation was the last Academy comic published before Antarctic took over. I think it pretty much set the standard for what was to come. Next time: The World's Worst Robotech Comic, Sentinels: Rubicon! Aieee! Plus, If I survive that, I have a little surprise in store for you all. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Closing theme: "Lifeline" by Michael Bradley. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Sandra Blackmore, Matt Green, Kara and Louisa Chang are copyright 1998-2000 Alex Fauth Sean and Carla Harwood are copyright 1998-2000 Max Fauth CABAAL is copyright 1999-2000 Westwood Studios Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Stacy: If you say so. But I fell all wobbly in it. And it's kinda snug in > some places.