Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MSTing number 56.... I think. It's hard to tell when you're working on three projects at once. Anyway, a brief trip into Issei land brings us - wait for this - a Sailor Moon fic. Oh, gods. "Sailor Moon" Is copyright Naoko T/DiC. "Issei Meets the Sailir Scout Girls" is copyright Issei Mataloun, and yes, he did spell it like that. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette.] [Tsuneo is sitting by the computer. Dan, Rick & Rebecca enter.] Rebecca: Yeah, but he was the real star of the show! Rick: Oh, no doubt. Dan: Plus did you see Van Damme's hair? He was going gray, I swear it. Rick: Actually, he sporadically went grey and un-greyed. Rebecca: Un-greyed? Is that a real word? Rick: Well you get what I mean. Makeup must have forgotten bout it during takes. Rebecca: Back to what I was saying, Golberg dominated that movie! He just, well... Dan: Goldberged it? Rebecca: Yeah. Rick: Say, did anyone else notice that his tatoo had disappeared? Dan: Makeup again. At least they're consistent. Rebecca: The thing I'm trying to say is that some pro wrestlers these days have more talent than the so-called action stars. Rick: The Hollywood ones. Rebecca: Obviiously. Dan: It's not like it was hard for him. He was just playing his WCW character, really. Rick: A rampaging, no-selling bastard, you mean. Dan: Exactly. I mean he did the face twitch, the yell, heck he even speared a guard for crying out loud. Rebecca: And only Goldberg could no-sell a grenade to the guts that many times. Tsuneo: Do I really want to know? Dan: Oh, new Universal Soldier flick. Rebecca: Had Bill Goldberg as the villain. Rick: He was a henchie! Rebecca: Let's be fair, he was the real villain there, okay? Certainly better than that lame-assed computer. Tsuneo: I see... Dan: So what's up with you? Tsuneo: Fanmail, and lots of it. Dan: Neat! [They cluster around the computer.] Tsuneo: First one's from Glytch on "Delta Invasion." > BTW, _major_ congrats the the Fauth brothers for > tackling that god-awful series "Delta Invasion". > Please pardon my language, but part 4 was just so > *goddamn* *dull* that I was screaming "TOM, WOULD YOU > JUST FUCKING END IT!!!" at my monitor. Rebecca: Maybe he could end it all with a bullet through the brain. > I don't know > how you guys stayed awake through it. All: Caffeine! Rick: Well I'm glad I missed that chapter. > Well, however you did it, this Eva fans applauds you. > Cheers, > Glytch Tsuneo: And thank you Glytch! Good to know we're aprreciated. Dan: Any more? Tsubneo: Loads. Here's one from Keith Palmer. > Since you've put out four MSTings in close succession, Dan: Our brains have fried. > I decided to save up > my comments and send them all in one giant letter. Brace yourselves--here > they come. > First of all, "Ten Things To Do In Tokyo When You're In An Antific." > Whoever wrote it seems to have studied the SVAM scene before, with all of > its offbeat references. At the same time, it leaves me with the impression > that "Cruel Lina's Thesis" did, that it tried to be funny, but just didn't > work. I'm never very impressed by antifics designed to kill off > characters, but this one was particularly bad. Dan: Just remember, anitfics are bad, m'kay? Rick: I'm glad I missed that one. > Next up, "BGC: Time And Time Again." This was actually kind of an > intriguing fanfic. I've got to admit that I was vaguely interested by the > idea of replacing all of the BGC characters and seeing how the story > changed. Rebecca: Pity it wasn't like that. > Unfortunately, the author wasn't, and the beginning of the fanfic > with its vague introductions and Orlando was as pointless as you said. Rick: We'll always have Orlando. > Then, it progressed to Irene showing off at every turn. (I have the vague > idea that she was meant to come from a parallel universe instead of just > the future, explaining her ignorance, but that's just my opinion.) Still, > I was mildly interested to see that the new character was female--but not > in a "Fate of the Children" kind of way. Rebecca: Thankfully. Although I still have my suspicions about her. > I've always been suspicious of > male SIs joining the all-female Knight Sabre team ever since I started to > read Eyrie's "Hopelessly Lost" and then stopped, aware of where it was > headed and unable to believe the Knight Sabres would be impressed that > easily. (My instruction in the ways of self-insertion had only begun then.) Tsuneo: In that case, I suggest you read "Bubblegum Zone." It will truly shock you. > A bit later, "Evangelion: The Good Life" appeared. As you admitted > yourself on your site, some EVA SIs are starting to get a little > predictable. Dan: That whole "getting squished by an EVA" bit was a novelty, I must say. > Tango wasn't too bad as a riffing partner, but I have to say > I think he'd improve with practice. Some of his lines, such as when he > blew up the TV, seemed a bit overdone. Dan: Yeah, he's like that. > Finally, I found "Delta Invasion Part 4" on SVAM. There was a bit of a > wait for it, but it was well worth it. The fanfic just gets more and more > inane with every chapter. I'm fundamentally uninterested in pro wrestling, > but the endless string of in-story moves and riffs just seemed to add to > the insanity. Rebecca: We're trying to cut down on our wrestling-related riffs, but it's not easy with Tom Dyron. > Samantha, as always, worked well with you. (Oh, and if Jedi > mind tricks don't work on the Voice, try money. :) Rick: He needs some about now. > The comment about > "Darth Sidious and TV's Maul" was just weird enough for me to start > wondering about how it would be developed, although I don't really plan to > do anything with it. If you can survive further encounters with Delta > Invasion, I'd be interested in seeing how Tom tops this latest ridiculous > chapter. Tsuneo: I'm sure he'll manage it somehow. > To close with, a few comments about broken links on the Elmer Studios web > site. I wasn't able to load Delta Invasion Part 4 from that site; I just > kept getting error messages. Rebecca: This problem has been fixed, and those responsible have been executed. > I also haven't been able to see the picture > of Jo from Fate of the Children; Jon from NXE keeps loading in her place. > (Of course, this could mean something...) Rick: It means that Tabris is even more screwed up than you thoguht. > And, while this isn't really a > broken link, I've noticed that episode 39, "Ranger Saturn," includes a > discussion of episode 40, "Neon Australian Exodus," at its beginning. All: Whoops. > Keith Palmer | Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than > krjpalme@sciborg.uwaterloo.ca | they appear. Dan: Phew! Tsuneo: Thanks once again, Keith! Oh, and thanks for reporting in those broken links, too. Rick: Next? Tsuneo: Mike Surbrook on "BGC: Time & Time Again" > > Could this be Neo-York, > Rick: If it is, then maybe the Empress will come down and smite Irene > from on high! > [They all hold up "Shion 3:16" signs.] > SHION: Dan: When in doubt, feed her ego. It works. > Rebecca: Or Neo Angeles or Night City or San Francisco or Neo-Portland or > Mega-Baltimore or Mega-Gotham or Seattle or Cologne or Sydney or any of > the other lame campaign settings from the BGC EX RPG book. > This *is* a joke, right? Right? RIGHT? Rick: Sorry, no. Someone thought it was woprthwhile setting a BGC campaign in Baltimore. Baltimore, for gawd's sakes. > Rebecca: Yeah, another bunch of wannabe's along with the Star Angels, the > Dragon Knights, the Exorcists, the Fright Knights, the Star Sabres, the > Night Sabres, the Darknights and the Crescent Knights. > Who are these bozos? Rick: They're all lame Knight Sabre vigilante rip-offs from R. Talsorian players. See above. Dan: Sorry to have to torment you like this, Mike. Tsuneo: And again on "EVA: The Good Life." > I agree with Dan, it was a non-EVA event. Tsuneo: And last of all, one from Rick Borden. > I was trawling through SVAM and came across the BGC section. I must > say, I'm a bitgtime BGC fan and I love what you did to those awful > fanfics. I'm not sure if Time & Time again or Bubblegum Shift was worse Rebecca: I vote BGS. > - although Marta doesn't deserve what you did to her - Rebecca: Yes she does! > but they were > both very funny. I like the characters you use, especially becasue > they're so warped. Tsuneo: Gee. Thanks. > Anyway, i just love your work! Keep it up! Rick: We try. It ain't easy. Tsuneo: And thanks everyone for writing in! Voice: Good to see you all here on time. Rebecca: Oh, hello Lord Straxus. Voice: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Rick: More EVA? Voice: No, I thought I'd give you a break from that for a change. Dan: Serious? What is it then? Voice: It's a Sailor Moon fic today. Rebecca: Oh, goodie. I almost missed them. Almost. Tsuneo: It'll certainly be a relief to see something else get wrecked for a change. [They sit - Dan and Rick facing the TV, Rebecca and Tsuneo on the sideways couch. Rick and Tsuneo are closest on the edges.] > ISSEI MATALOUN IZ IN DA HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dan: Now he thinks he's with the Wolfpack. Rebecca: Remind me to tell Nash sometime... > hi this is Issei Rebecca: Well who else would it be? > and I just wrote a REEALLY kewl Sailor Moon fanfic; [Tsuneo breaks out laughing] Dan: What? What's so funny Tsuneo: [Points at Dan] Let's see how you like it this time! Dan: ... > My first one!!! Yessss! Hahahahahahaha!!! Rebecca: Issei has finally flipped. > And this one is nothing but kickass action and lots of laughs!! Tsuneo: Not to mention atrocious spelling and grammar. Dan: Gross mischaracterisations. Rebecca: People coming out left, right and center Rick: And bad guys posing up storms, laughing like idiots and dying in puddles of their own gore. > hahahaha!! Rick: See? > This happens in the Sailor Moon R movie but whill > change some things in it. [Dan bashes his head repeatedly against the table] Dan: Dammit! That was a good movie! > If you havenot seen this Movie, SEE IT!!!!!!! Rick: Personally, I would take the opposite of *anything* Issei reccomends. Rebecca: For once, I agree with you Rick. > Its the best Sailoir Moon moive EVER!!! MAAAAAAAAAAAN DID I HAVE FUN > WRITING THIS!!!!!!! Tsuneo: Yes, but your keyboard didn't. > It’sd just a funy t story so it’ll be REREEEEEALLY silly dude!!!!! Tsuneo: "Funy t story?" "Rereeeeeally?" I think Issei's typing has gotten worse. > “Issei Meets the Sailir Scout Girls” Dan: It's tragic when the authour can't even spell the title right. > It was a normal day in tokyo Rebecca: You know, Atomic monster rampage, alien invasion, EVAs fighting Angels, mega-psychics ripping the place up. Same old same old. > when one day Issei Mataloun was walking down the street Rick: So much for a normal day. Rebecca: The JSDF mobilised and did to him what they could never do to Godzilla. The end. > mad as hell and ready to kick someones ass Rebecca: Funny, I thought he prefered to ki- Dan: Don't. > if he > couldn’t get tickets to the new Rage against the Machine concert! Tsuneo: Ah, yes. I'd almost forgotten Issei's habit of shoving his musical tastes down our throats. Rebecca: Seriously? Tsuneo: No, but I was trying. > Issei’s mom had sayed Dan: Oh god... It's all coming back to me now. > he was to young to go Isaseio Rick: Issei's Italian cousin. > was running down the street kicking sown cans and shit Rebecca: Eww... Great, now you'll have to clean that of your shoes. > when all of sudden he say something stroange. Tsuneo: Yeah, we're seeing it now. Rick: Issei said something strange? What's so unusual about that? > A bunch of peole where lying on the street and were passed out!! Tsuneo: They'd read Issei's fics too. > They looked daed accept that vines rapped around them. Rick: Not that that stops them from looking dead. Oh, I'm sorry, "daed." > Issei sayed “what the FUUUUCK?!?” Tsuneo: It's an Isseific. Deal. > hen one of the vines shot at him and he dodged it by jumping and > gave it a good karate kick!!! All: Action! > Issei got intohis karate pose Rick: But the moment was ruined when his pants fell down. > and kciked the other vines and sayed “No one fucks with ISSEI!!!!” Rebecca: [Issei] Except Shinji, but that's a different matter. > Then he heard the sound of a bunch of girls crying Rebecca: They'd probably fallen and twisted their ankles, knowing this kid's fics. Dan: Or breaking up with each other. > and Issei ran towad the sound. Then he say it........... Dan: You mean he didn't "sayed" it? [They all gasp in horror.] > It was Sailor MOON! And er 4 scounts! Rick: [Issei] Hang on... 1, 2, er... 3... Yup, 4 scouts! Dan: Never mind that if this was based on the Sailor Moon R movie they'd be Sailor Senshi... > Issei sayed “SALOR MOON!!! VENUS!! MERCRY!!! JUPTER!!! MARS!!! Dan: Captain Universe! Storm Gryphon! The GRS! Tuxedo Chris! Oscar! Ankoku! Soulstone! Nav! Bane! Ryot! Star Mech! Rebecca: That's enough already. Dan: Oh yeah, and a few thousand Sailor Earths. Rebecca: Dan... Dan: I'm done. Tsuneo: You know, Sailors Neptune and Pluto wouldn't be out of place in an Isseific. Dan: You watch. They'd be straight. > What the fuck are you guys doing here?!? Tsuneo: Gee, maybe it's got something to do with the vines. Rick: Someone sent them to kill you. > Are you going to the Rage concernt to?!?” Rebecca: Oh yes. They're all real headbangers. Especially Mercury. > He sayed happy cuz he thot they could get him in. Tsuneo: Any particular reason? Rick: No-one can understand Issei's "thot" process. > Then he say sonmeone else come out.... Rebecca: And they did, becasue what Issei says, goes. > It was a man green Tsuneo: A man green? Has he been eating at Taco Bell? > and wearing a white suit Rick: With a beeetroot stain on the front! Oh the humanity! > and cape and he laughed and sayed “hahahahahaha!!!! Tsuneo: No, he laughed "hahaha," and he said something else. Twit. > I will take Mamoruy Dan: Whoever he is. Rick: Maybe he meant "mammaries". > and destroy the world!!! Rick: [Fiore] I'm a naughty boy! Naughty, naughty naughty, naughty! Rebecca: I'm guessing he's the villain. > Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!” > then he ran out of breah. All except Dan: COMEDY! Dan: Poor Fiore. He was a neat villain. > Issei looked at him and sayed “How this shithead?!!?” Rick: How anything around here? > Luna looked at Issei and sayed “Who that gay kid?!?!?” Tsuneo: Say, how come everyone suddenly knows he's gay? Rick: Because he looks like a girlie? Rebecca: As a woamn, I feel insulted by that. > Fiore got up and sayed “Ha I am the great Fiore Rick [Pinky]: Fjord! > and I will kill you Sailor Mooon!!! Rebecca: Face it, brat, no-one likes you. > Then he took out his sword and jumped at her. Rick: I wonder if that's a Sword of Evil (TM)? > Then a man came out of nowhere Dan: Honestly sir, he came out of nowhere! I didn't mean to hit him! > and jumped infront of her and took the hit. Tuxdeo Mask > died right there and blood spalltered EVERYWEHERE!!! Rick: Wow, introduction and death in two lines. That's a new record, even for Tux Boy. > “Holy shit!!!” The scouts sayed. “HE KILLED TUX MASK!!!!!!” All: You Bastards! > Moon sayed “And I didn]t get to fuck him!!!!! > WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Dan: [Sailor Moon] Oh yeah, and we were in love and all that. Rick: I just love the way she's got her priorities all sorted out. > Isseui sayed “He was cute and I mad cuz I didn’t either!!! > WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!” Rebecca: Sorry Issei, this ain't Tux boy by the GRS. He's not like that. Mostly. Rick: This is an Isseific, remember. He probably is a raving queen. > Fiore then got mad and took Tuxs body and flew into the skyes and > diapeared. Rebecca: I don't want to know what he's planning to do with it. > The sailor scouts then looked nat Issei and sayed “Who you?!” > “ISSEI! Isseim Mataloun! Tsuneo: A kid who can't even spell his name right. Rick: [Issei] The mightiest warrior that ever was, the greatest Authour Avatar in the universe? Rebecca: [Scout] I've never heard of you. What do you want? > I was going to the Rage concert byt it > looks like you need some helpt right now HUH?!” Dan: Trust me, they can handle it without him. > He then smiled sexy :) > and all of the sailor scouts whent ga-ga over him Rebecca: Well, Uranus and Neptune did. > but then remembered he was gay and stopped. Tsuneo: Once again, how do they know he's gay? > “hahahahahaha!!!” Artemis sayed Rick: Everyone's laughing like an idiot around here. > “I HAVE A PERFCT PLAN FOR THIS BOY!!!!!!” Rebecca: [Artemis] Involving a torture rack, a bucket of glue, a rug and Oscar... Whoops, thought out loud again. > He then got out a magic pendant from nowehre Rick: I don't think I want to know where he kept that. > and therew it at Issei. Issei then grabed > it and sayed “What the fuck is THIS?!?” The n a > light covered him Dan: That has to be the stupidest activation phrase ever. > and he becaome Pretty Soldjer Issei! [They all roll around on the floor laughing] Rick: [Gasping for breath] Pretty... Soldier... Oh boy, this is too much! Rebecca: I always knew he was a little girly, but this? Dan: I don't believe this... He's making it so easy for us! Voice: Do you mind? Tsuneo: Not at all. [They all return to their seats.] > Issei now wore a suit like > Tux only it was red instead of black and he threw darts instead of > rose and had a new KICK-ASS sword!!! Tsuneo: Ladies and gentlemen, the Sword of Power- Rick: TM Tsuneo: Makes its triumphant return. > Lunda dayed “He will only say like this for 2 hours so you must stop > Fiiore from desatory the Tsuneo: [Luna] The English language as we know it. > world!!!! QUICK!!!!!!!!!!” Rick: Follow those exclamation marks. > Then the six of them went in a falem of light Rick: Okay, that does it. I now have officially *no* idea what he's going on about. > and flew to the metero Rebecca: He's going to a trendy cinema? > where Fiore was! Issei say him first and sayed Rick: [Issei] He's mine! I've got dibsies! > “Who the fuck is that motherfucker?!?!” Tsuneo: He already introduced himself, but never mind. > “I am Fiore the mightieee!” Dan: Looks like he's been hitting the helium. > He then swung arond and a bunch of plant things came out Rick: Gay vines. Now I've seen it all. > of his cape and JUMPED at the Sailir Moon girls and > they screamed “AAAAHHHH!!!” Dan: Thanks for pointing out how people scream. > Jupter and Mercery jumped away, but Venus tryed to fight Tsuneo: So what about Moon or Mars? Rick: [Issei] Damn beam of light left them behind. > and got stabbed on by them and it left a plant time bomb > in her and she EXPPLODED!!! Rick: And died in a puddle of her own gore, even. > Everyonbe scream “AAAHHH! This fucker is killing everyone!!!!!” Tsuneo: [clutching ears] Yeah, we noticed. Can you turn down the volume? > Thenm Moon sayed “We have to stop him!!!!” All: Naw! Rebecca: With plans like that, she could take Misato's job. > But then Fiore spun around again and sayed Tsuneo [Fiore]: I gotta get out of this crappy fanfic! > “MAGIC VINES! TAKE THEM!!!!” Then a bunch of vines > came out of the floor and captured all of the scouts except Issei. Tsuneo: Any reason why not Issei? Rick: Just becasue. Rebecca: Maybe they were naughty tentacles. Of course, Issei would like that... > Fioire looked at him and sayed “Who the fuck are you????” Dan: An illiterate twelve year-old who thinks he can write fics. > Issei then took out a > dart and sayed “I’m YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE< MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!” Dan: [Fiore] No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare. You don't even make the list. > he threw a > dart at him but Fiore dodgetd it and sayed “You are a mighty warrair!” Tsuneo: What, just because he threw a dart and missed? Rick: If that's how you rate it, then Miles O'Brien must be the supreme being. > He then raised his hand in the air and a HUGE vine came out Rebecca: The vine is planning to appear in a special version of Overfiend... I can't believe I just said that. > and TUX MASK was hanging on it! Fiore sayed “He pretty huih? Rebecca: If you're into dismembered carcasses. > AND I brote him back to life!! hahahahahahahaha!!!” Tsuneo: Through the miracles of plot contrivances. Rick: Laughs like an idiot... > But Issei shook his haed and sayed “But you killed him first!!!!” Dan: [fiore] That was kind of an accident. > Fiore “NO I DID NIT MEAN IT!!!!!” Rick: Oh yes. He didn't mean to use leathal force. > Issei “Yeah you did mothrfucker!!!!!!!” Rebecca: And the negotiations trailed on into the night. > “QUIT FIGHITNG AND KILL HIM ISSEI!!!!!!! Tsuneo: But he isn't even fighting. > SAVE MY TUXXY BABY!!!!!!!” Yeeled Sailir Moon. Fiore say that Tsuneo: He said "Save my Tuxy baby?" I'm confused. > and sayed “Shut up!!!! And killed all of them except for Moon [Dan falls to the floor, weeping] Rick: Maybe this is meant to be an anti-fic. > cuz he needed her alive to make an excample. Dan: Make an example to who? > Moon cryed a lot and sayed “YOU KILL MY FREINDS!!!” Rebecca [Sailor Moon]: And Rei too! > Then Issei > sayed “You shut up! I have to battle FIORE!!!” > Fiore and Issei struck they mighty karatae poses Rick: Poses up a storm... > and tghen they > jumped in the air and Issei took out his gun and BLEW Fiore’s head off! All: And dies in a pouddle of his own gore! Tsuneo: Well, so much for the dramatic confrontation. Odd that the Sword of Power- Rick: TM. Tsuneo: Didn't even get a look in. > “Hahahahahahaha!!!” sayed Issei! “FOOLED YOU!!!!” “THAT WAS EAZY!!! I > COULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!” “Then why didnt you?!?!” “Shut up and save > us!!!!!!” Rebecca: Who in blazes is talking here? Rick: Um... Probably the voices in Issei's head yet again. > Then Issei got out one of his magic darts and brot all of the > Sailirs Back to life by waving it around and making a bunch of stars come > out and bring their soals bacl. Tsuneo: I don't know which is more amazing. The fact that he just contrived everyone back to life, or the fact that he did it in one long sentance. Rebecca: Actually, it's the fact that he thinks people would like this crap. > And then they hugged him and even Tux hugged gim Rick: Whoever Gim was. > and then kiissed Moon. Rebecca: And now Issei thinks he's Billy Gunn. Dan: That we don't need. > Moon then sayed “Well Issei what can we do to thank you Dan: A spelling lesson might be a nice start... > You saved my life.................................” Tsuneo: You can save us from these hordes of periods for starters. > Issei then went SD jumped in the air and sayed “RAGE!!!!!!!!! I > WANNA GO TO THE RAGE CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!” Rick: Mr one-track mind here. > So then all of them was wraped in a HUGE fireball and Tsuneo: Were instantly incinerated. The end. > was taken to the RAGE concet and everyone was JAMMING!! Dan: Pardon me for saying this, but Rage Against the Machine isn't quite their style. Rick: Don't you mean Rage against the Machineshirt? Dan: Shut up. > Issei then hung out all night > with his friends and everything was KEWL!!!!!!! Rick: Except for the undeniable fact that every morning, my mother would make me for breakfast a big old bowl of sauerkraut. > Issei got to meet all of > the memebers ogf the band cuz Mamoru was friend swith all of them, Tsuneo: And the plot contrivances go on, and on, and on... Rebecca: He's their favourite groupie. > and > Issei had a blast! He had saved the worl;d and went to his > concert.................. Rick: And we torched his fic. > ALL IN A DAYS WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Dan leaps up from the couch and punches the TV. He swings it up over his head and slams it into the ground where, contrary to all expectations, it bounces with a loud TOGG sound.] Dan: I feel much better now. Voice: Oh good. Rebecca: Nothing like destroying an expensive electrical appliance to make you feel decent. Voice: Can I have your reviews before you break anything else? Tsuneo: That was his worst yet. The story was as loopy as in Hellstorm II, but the typing had degraded to the level of the original Helstorm. Plus there were plot contrivances by the truckload and more senselessness. Dan: In all honesty, I thought it was rather mild. I mean, mostly it's just a normal Sailor Moon SI, but with Issei's level of stupidity and incoherence thrown in to boot. Ugh. Rick: Once again, Issei's loopiness prevails. The fic is a basically incoherent mess that gives you a headache to read. It's full of all his basic elements: Plot contrivances, bad typing, self-insertion and people dying in puddles of their own gore. Rebecca: At least Issei didn't sleep with anyone. That is a small mercy. Dan: You realise, Voice, that this does mean that I will have to hurt you. Rick: You know, I just thought of something. Issei has classified himself as a Sailor Moon self insertion, right? Dan: I am painfully aware of this. Rick: And that he is, essentially, a dirty-minded twelve year old who wants to write a same-sex lemon, right? Tsuneo: Yes. Rick: Rebecca, do you still have Nav's phone number? Rebecca: Yes, actually... Rick: Good. [They get up andf leave] Voice: Oh dear. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Dan and Tsuneo are copyright 1995-1998 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1995-1998 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAA conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Then Issei got out one of his magic darts and brot all of the > Sailirs Back to life by waving it around and making a bunch of stars come > out and bring their soals bacl.