------------------------------------------------------------------------ Episode, uh, 122 brings us a four-corners MSTing of two (!) more chapters of the amazing Space Waltz. Cowboy Bebop is copyright Sunrise Space Waltz is copyright ChibiJamie ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette.] [Dan and Rebecca enter] Rebecca: So how's things going in trailer-trash land? Dan: Not so good. I've been having problems with the ISP for my webcomic. Rebecca: What sort of problems? Dan: Well, it went bankrupt. Rebecca: That is a bit of a problem. Dan: Apparently the guy who owned the company left everything in his dog's name and took a trip to Tonga. Then the dog died. Rebecca: Bad. Dan: Then it turns out that the company was insolvent from day one and that the management had been using it to make extravagant purchases and put it on an expenses account. Rebecca: So your webcomic's gone for good. Dan: Until I can find a new server, at least. Rebecca: Damn. I was hoping it was gone for good. [Ling Ling enters] Ling Ling: Uh... I guess this is the place. Certainly looks like it. Rebecca [Glaring]: What are *you* doing here? Ling Ling: The Magic Voice told me that I had to be here. Dan: Hey, I don't mind. [Rebecca hits him with a cushion] Rebecca: Voice! Hey, you! Yeah, you, Krang! What's she doing here? Voice: She's here because she has a contractual obligation to appear in at least one Elmer Studios MSTing. Ling Ling: I do? Voice: Yes you do. It's in the really fine print, along with all the Cosplay and Swimsuit pictures. Ling Ling: Wait... Noriko never did any swimsuit pictures. Dan: Nobody wanted her to. Ling Ling: Oh, I see. So, uh, what are we watching then? Voice: Well, I'm just waiting on somebody else. Rebecca: Tsuneo? Voice: No, he's called in sick today. Dan: Then a member of the B team is subbing? Voice: Nope. Dan: It couldn't be Rick, could it? Voice: You are being serious here, right? Dan: My bad. Ling Ling: So no one knows who this person is? Rebecca: Well that only leaves... Dan: Oh hell. Rebecca: This could be amusing. Dan: Help me. Ling Ling: Who? Who is it? [A chunk of wall busts in as Tango comes flying in, head first. He faceplants on the floor right in front of Ling Ling, then stands bolt upright, as if nothing had happened, pointing at Ling Ling] Tango: STARCRAFT! Ling Ling [startled]: ACK! What is that!?! Rebecca: That is Tango. Say hello, Tango. Tango: Hello Tango! Ling Ling: Who... what are you? Tango: I'm an ex-mercenary ex-commando wannabe arms dealer former Fileplanet.com site administrator ISP help desk guy and Governor General of a small commonwealth nation! Ling Ling: I see. Really? [Dan and Rebecca nod solemnly] Ling Ling: I see. Fine. When can I leave? Dan: After the Voice is done with our hurt for the day. Ling Ling: Wonderful. Voice: Anyway, today's fic is the third and fourth chapters of Space Waltz. Dan: Great. Just what we need. Ling Ling: What's this one about? Rebecca: Post series Bebop. Spike's alive, Vicious is alive and running the Syndicate, Spike and Faye are getting all WAFFy and They've got an Authour Avatar living on the Bebop. Ling Ling: I'd ask if you're joking, but having done this before I know you're not. Pity. Voice: Now that you're up to speed, we'll start. Ling Ling: I just want you to know that I'm doing this under duress, so don't expect much. [Ling Ling sits on the forwards-facing couch. Dan sits next to her, sidling up really close. She sprays him with Mace, then gets up to sit on the other couch next to Rebecca] Rebecca: Not next to me. Find your own couch space. Ling Ling: This is because of Marta, isn't it? Rebecca: Well... Yes. [She goes back to the other couch which Dan has vacated, as he is now rolling on the ground, screaming in agony. Tango sits next to her.] Tango: I have new socks on! Ling Ling: Amazingly, this may be the safest option. [Dan gets up and sits next to Rebecca. The TV switches on.] > ~Truth be told, this story really doesn't have much of a plot. Dan: At least they're honest. Ling Ling: Few fanfic authors are. > It really doesn't have much of a POINT, either. Dan: So why are you writing it? > Hell, at first glance, > you'd say the author wrote this because she just wanted Ed and Ein > back (which is probably the case). Rebecca: Well, there's the plot of today's fic, folks. Anybody miss that? > Anyhow, all this confusion is > just typical for us, the crew of the Bebop...~ Dan: Er, who's saying this? Tango: Hello, Mr Exposition! Rebecca [Exposition]: Hello, Austin. > .oOo.~Session 29: Bad Boy~.oOo. Dan: Bad boy! Look at what you did to the carpet! Bad! Ling Ling : o/~ Bad boys bad boys, Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you o/~ > "Bored bored bored bored... need something to do~o!" Tango: You could always borrow the old guy's Playstation. > Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV fell onto her back from where she > had been sitting, working on her computer diligently. Tango [Ed]: 1 @|\/| |_337! *|1\/3 r|n3 \/\/@|23=/!!@@112 Ling Ling: Uh? Dan: For the benefit of the l337 impaired: "I am l33t, give me warez!" Ling Ling: "Warez"? > Ein, the Welsh corgi at her side, barked slightly. Tango: \/\/007!!@@112@ Dan: He said- Ling Ling: I guessed. > "What's that, Ein?" Rebecca: Little Timmy fell down the well? Dan: Woof! Woof! Ling Ling: And he broke his leg and needs his insulin right away? Dan: Woof! Woof! Rebecca: [Smacks Dan - *hard*] Stupid dog! You don't give insulin for a broken leg! Dan: > The happy-hyper-psycho-child-genius-on-crack Ling Ling: Sana Kurata, ladies and gentlemen! One night only! > sat up, peering into the computer screen before she leapt up onto her hands > with a shout of joy. Rebecca: She hacked the McDonalds' site, and now has a lifetimes supply of free sundaes. Ling Ling: Can she get me a McFlurry? > "Bebop! Bebop! Bebop is coming back!" Dan: It was renewed and even got its old timeslot back. > She paused briefly, looking closer. "Spike... alive?! Tango: Him, Superman and Optimus Prime. What are you going to do about it? Ling Ling: Weep at the ruination of an excellent series. > Ed had heard Spike was dead! Dan: She read spoiler pages. > Ed is happy! Spike is not dead, Rebecca: He's getting better. Tango: Naw, Ed just IDDQD'ed him. > Bebop coming back! Ed will go back with them!" > At first glance, anyone watching would've wondered where this child's > parents were. Dan: No, they would have run in fear long ago. Tango: Or ph33r. Ling Ling: Stop that. > However, there are those of us who know better. Rebecca: It's news to us. > As it is, > Ed's search for her father Appledelhi had pretty much been a bust. Dan: No that's a bust. [Points at Ling Ling. She sprays him with mace again] Ling Ling [Puts the mace away]: And besides, they found Ed's dad, he just happened to be even more loopy then Ed was. > So, she had returned to her little hole in the wall, Rebecca: With a hundred gigabit net connection and super-sweet overclocked CPUs. > waiting for the day > that she could once again rejoin her friends on the Bebop. Dan: Whether they liked it or not. > And now, her chance was finally coming...! Ling Ling: She'd show all of them! She'd hack Microsoft! > ***** > Spike Spiegel blinked at what was on his plate. It was too good to be > true, wasn't it? Dan [Spike]: I can't believe it's not butter. Ling Ling: Parkay. > Faye Valentine looked boggled. Meat? Real meat? Dan: Okay, so it's just flavoured tofu. Rebecca: Accept no imitations. Ling Ling: *sigh* We do... > This was the first time she'd seen this in ages, Tango: Just an endless supply of meat impersonators and Kevin Costner. > there was no way it could be real. Dan: Try poking it. > Jet Black looked rather pleased with himself, Tango [Jet]: I went and used potty all by myself. > and the newest member of > the Bebop crew, Nasutei Kaneka, had a rather pleased little smile as > well. Rebecca: They did it. Dan: I'm going to be sick. Ling Ling: Who's she? Rebecca: A friend of Jet's and self-appointed new crewmember. Basically an inane sixteen year old hyperactive twerp with the biggest motherf'king gun you've ever seen. Oh, and she's *special.* Ling Ling: As in short bus "special"? > Especially when the other two started eating, found that what they > were tasting was indeed what they had hoped, Dan: It's really food. Tango: Can't have been Jet, then. Dan: [Jet] I get no respect. > and dug in without a second thought. > "So when will we tell them?" questioned Nasutei. Dan: You're pregnant? > "That they're eating an entirely soy based meat substitute? Tango: It's a third rate meat impersonator! Get off the stage. > They'll figure it out eventually," shrugged Jet. Rebecca: When they start going green. Dan: Or the talking frogs show up. > "I guess it pays to have a vegitarian on board." Dan: Hey, is the authour shoving her food tastes down our throat? Rebecca: At least it's not music for once. Ling Ling: And what's wrong with tofu? > When everyone was finally finished eating, Spike leaned back in his > chair, a rather contented smile spread across his thin features. Rebecca: So was it good for you? > "Well, > Jet, you've outdone yourself. That's the best meal I've had in ages." Tango: It's the only meal they've had in ages. Ling Ling: True, this is the Bebop. At one point I was convinced they all lived off of alcohol and cigarettes. > "I have to agree," smirked Faye. "I guess having another woman around > really helped with the quality of cooking." Rebecca: Like she ever does any. Dan: Does microwaving count? Ling Ling: And what does a second woman have to do with it? I keep Marta out of the kitchen in order to avoid disasters. > Jet looked indignant. "I cooked that myself, thank you." Nasutei burst > into a fit of giggles. "What's so funny?!" > Faye laughed as well. "Obviously, she's giving away your secret." Dan: They're *not* real? Ling Ling: Does that deserve the mace? Rebecca: You're getting the hang of this. > She stood. "Well, I'm going to take a shower. Rebecca: The animators haven't crept enough cleavage into this episode yet. Ling Ling: Marta would be happy. > A lady has to look her best, after all." > Spike glowered in her general direction as she passed. "Who's a lady?" Ling Ling: Okay, who replaced Spike with Ranma? > He cried out as a pillow slammed itself down over his head. "Bitch! > What was that for?!" Rebecca: The insult? Being horribly OOC? > Faye only grinned sweetly at him. Jet snickered. "Serves you right, > Spike. You don't insult a woman." Dan: [Jet] Faye obviously not counting. Rebecca: [Faye] POW! > Nasutei elbowed him in the ribs as a sign to shut up. Dan: Poor Jet's hen-pecked. Rebecca: Shut up! Dan: Yes ma'am. Ling Ling: Good boy. Here, have a cookie. > They were about to depart from where they sat as the vidscreen popped > up, with a huge yellow smiley face. Tango: Well, it's either Ed or they're being invaded by Pac-Men. > "WAGH!" Dan: Special guest appearance by Pen Pen. > cried Nasutei, diving behind Jet. "What in the world...?!" > "Ed?!" Rebecca: Thinking logically, who else would it be? Tango: One of three-million wannabes called 3|)? > cried Spike, sitting up straight as the yellow smiley face was > replaced by the grinning face of a rosy-cheeked child. "What the > hell...?!" Tango: Your computer's just been hacked by Shirley Temple. > "Hello, Bebop!" All: Hello Bolivia! > Ed exclaimed cheerfully. "Ed misses you!" Ling Ling: Use both hands and aim for the centre of mass. > "I'm taking that as a hint from you?" questioned Jet, raising a brow > speculatively. Dan [Jet]: Fascinating. > Ed nodded vigorously. "Will Jet bring Bebop and pick up Ed and Ein? > Ed and Ein are very lonely here!" Ein barked. "Ple~ease?!" Tango: And if they say no, she's just going to hack into the ship and bring it down anyway. So do you trust Ed to handle re-entry?. > Jet looked at Spike. Spike looked at Jet. Dan: Dan looked at Ling Ling. Ling Ling: Ling Ling hit Dan. > "Well..." Spike began. > "It has been kinda lonely without her..." Jet continued. Rebecca: What, you're living with the human hyperbole there and it's kind of quiet? Dan: By comparison, of course. > "So why not?" finished Spike. Dan: [Jet] Because you hate children. Because we've got enough mouths to feed. Because dog hair gets in everything. Because I want the computer to stay how it is. Because I enjoy my peace and quiet. And mostly because I don't want my Bonsai trees wrecked again. Ling Ling: In other words, you think it's a fine idea, right? > "..all right, Ed, where do you want us to pick you up?" Dan: [Jet] Self-respect is way overrated anyway. > Ed grinned brightly at the screen. Ling Ling: [Puts on a pair of sunglasses.] > ***** > "Ed is going ho~ome! Ein is going ho~ome!" The girl danced about at > the edge of the water, her belongings either in a backpack or balanced > atop her head. Rebecca: Although getting the four poster bed in there was a bit of a challenge. > As the ship came towards its landing, she did a little > piroette, and Ein barked at her. Tango: Everyone's a critic. > "There they are, Ein, they're coming home to get us!" Ling Ling: Emphasis on the "get" part. > The decent of the Bebop was fairly short, seeing as how fishing > shuttles were fairly easy to land, Rebecca: But it requires a long touchdown in the show and... oh, never mind. Consistency bad. Tango: They'll speed it up by just using the same footage. > and that was what the Bebop had once been. Dan: Secretly, it always wanted to be a dancer. > Ed did another piroette as Spike stepped out onto the hatch. > "There you are!" he called to her. "Didn't you find your father?" Ling Ling [Points under the Bebop]: He was right there fishing... Rebecca: Turned out that he was Darth Vader. Who knew? > Ed shook her head. "No. But Ed is happy to come back to the Bebop! Tango [Ed]: 1+~5 *|07 @! 5L||*3|2 5\/\/337 |V3+ <0r|r|3<710|V @|\|*| 1075 0|^ |333|2/ |*F|33|2 0|2 1 \/\|177 |*@<|<37 J00 |o17<|>!@@Q12` Dan: "It has a sweet net connection and lots of beer. Fear or I will packet you, bitch." Huh? > Ed and Ein were lonely! Rebecca: They only had IRC bots to keep them company. Ling Ling: And ICQ kept crashing. > Can Ed come on board now?" Dan: Has she been thoroughly quarantined? Tango: Would it matter if we said no? > Within about twenty minutes, and a lot of trial and error, they > managed to get the gangly youth onto the Bebop, where she quickly > made herself at home again. Tango: Hello, how are you, where's the network plug? Rebecca [Faye]: Good to see you too. > Her first stop was to examine Nasutei thoroughly, Dan: Now breathe deeply and say "ah." > to learn who this new person was. > "Huh...? Wha...? Why are you circling me like that..?!" Dan: She's about to close in for the kill. Ling Ling: Eds are dangerous when wounded. Lovely plumage though. > the Newtype > questioned in surprise. "You're the weirdest little boy I've ever > met...!" Dan: And that includes Amuro and Hathaway. > Jet laughed at the antics. "She's just trying to figure out who you > are." Rebecca: And wether you're on her territory and need to be chased away. > "That's a girl?!" cried Nasutei in surprise. Tango: Well isn't it obvious? Dan: No, it's not. > Jet nodded a bit, then he looked to Ed. "Ed, this is an old friend > of mine, Nasutei Kaneka. She's a new crew member." Dan: Hey, has she had her hazing yet? Rebecca [Ed]: Ed will go get the vacuum cleaner! > Ed tilted her head slightly to one side, looking puzzled, before > looking up to Nasutei. "Ohh... Ed understands." Tango: You do? Will you explain it to us someday? Ling Ling: When you're old enough. > She held out her > hand with a smile. "Ed is Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV!" Dan: She collects surnames. Tango: Mine's still mint in box. > Hesitantly, Nasutei shook Ed's hand, smiling very weakly. "It's nice > to meet you, Ed." Rebecca: Oh, could it be? Our resident pain in the posterior is in a situation that she can't wisecrack and nice herself out of? > "Bweeeeeeeeee!" Ed darted off to other areas of the ship. Rebecca [Ed]: Come, Ein! Let's go play with the reactor! To the Edcave! > Jet chuckled as he knelt and picked up Ein, who was more than happy > to see the ex-detective again. Dan: Hang on... Isn't Nasutei in the police or something? So shouldn't she be going police stuff rather than hanging out with the Bebop crew? I mean, she never said anything about quitting or such. Rebecca: She's on her lunch break. Tango: Oh, she's with the government then. > The corgi settled instantly, and > sniffed at Nasutei's hand before just calmly letting her pet him. Tango: Now she's got the dog kissing up to her. > "What a cute little dog!" she smiled, scratching Ein's ears. Ling Ling [Nasutei]: What's his name? Rebecca [Jet]: Cujo. > "Yeah, he's a good mutt," Jet smirked. Tango: But don't get on his bad side or he'll haxor j0r ass! > "Y'know... it's good to have them back." Dan: Now look at the rug and say that again. > ~Welcome Home, Space Cowgirl...~ > ~.oOo.~Nasutei: I adore love stories! Tango: Aaaaagh! WAFF! > Jet: Huh? > Nasutei: And this one's all about Spike and Faye! Rebecca: Aaaaagh! OOC WAFF! Ling Ling: Spike and Faye!?! FAYE!?! > Faye: WHAT?! > Nasutei: This one isn't good for little kids... Rebecca: Or Diabetics. > Spike: A love story?! With me?! And... HER?! > Nasutei: Next session, "Every Waking Moment." > Jet: Even _I_ should've seen _this_ one coming.~.oOo.~ [Tango falls to the floor, clutching his throat and screaming] Ling Ling: What's happened to him? Dan: I think he's choking on WAFF. Ling Ling: Will he be alright? Rebecca: Maybe. Or he'll die. Would it make any difference? [Tango twitches violently, then goes still. He suddenly sits bolt upright, and resumes his place on the couch.] Tango: Luckily, I save often. Thanks little blue light, I owe you one! > ***** > ~No matter what happens, no matter how much someone vows that they'll > never fall in love again, that one person always crosses through and > you find yourself head over heels again. Tango: Although that could just be caused by loose carpet. > You'd be surprised what a > person would do to save that love from being lost again...~ Ling Ling: Julia's back? Rebecca: At this rate, I suspect we'll see her, Rocco, Lin, Shin and Gren. > .oOo.~Session 30: Every Waking Moment~.oOo. > Faye Valentine shifted into a different position on her bed for the > umpteenth time that night. Dan: Well, for a love story, they're getting to it pretty quick. [He shies away from Ling Ling] Not in the face! Ling Ling: Okay. *crunch* Dan: ...owie... > She was too tired to stay awake, but too > much was on her mind for her to fall asleep. Rebecca [Faye]: Mutter mutter three hundred million woolongs mutter. > It was becoming rather annoying. > "Spike... of all people..." she mumbled to herself. "Maybe it's just > a passing affection... yeah... or I just ate something bad and it's > making me think weird things." Rebecca: I'd blame the stomach cramps. Tango: I'd blame the sheep in the big city. > She turned onto her other side. "He's > probably not keeping himself awake thinking about me, Ling Ling: Bets? Dan [Spike]: Melons. Ling Ling: Never mind. > after all. I don't know why I'm worrying myself with this." Ling Ling: Me either, since it is horribly out of character for you. > She sighed, and turned over again, still unable to get comfortable. > Why in the world was she finding it so hard to get to sleep...? Rebecca: Because Ed was next door testing out her new sound card with thirty-eight subwoofers. Ling Ling: In my case, it's usually due to Marta stealing all the covers. > ***** > Spike Spiegel sighed lightly, laying on his stomach, one arm swaying > slightly off the couch. He was staring at the wall across the room, Dan [Spike]: How long have we had a wall there? > trying his damnedest to sleep. Rebecca: Why doesn't he use his bed? Ling Ling: Does he have a bed? He always seemed to use the couch in the show. > "I've counted sheep. I've drank warm milk. I've run three damn laps > around the Bebop, and I've read two magazines. Tango: Have you tried watching a HHH/Sephanie promo? > Why can't I sleep?!" Rebecca: Because Ein's lying on your chest? > He let out another sigh, shoving Faye's image out of his mind just > long enough to make a face. > "Why in the world am I tinking about _her_?" he asked himself. Rebecca: Because you're OOC and this is an all WAFF special episode. > "No > good reason to." He flipped over onto his back, one arm behind his > head, the other resting over his chest. "I hate women." All: With attitudes. > ***** > Jet Black, Nasutei Kaneka, Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV, and > Ein were the only ones who were still awake, Dan: So if they're awake, and Spike and Faye are awake, then doesn't that mean *everyone's* awake? Rebecca: Dan, are you thinking about the fic again? Dan: Agh. I've got to give up this thinking bit. Rebecca: For you, it's not hard. > watching a repeat of that day's episode of Big Shots. Tango: I've seen this ep, and I know how it ends. Ling Ling: Would it be waste of time to mention that Big Shot went off the air in episode 23? [Pause] Thought so. > "Today, an update of a mysterious crime spree by a bounty head that > hadn't been unidentified!" Judy piped. Ling Ling: Uhm... was that English just now? Dan: If he hasn't been identified, how could they put a bounty on his head? > "Shucks howdy!" Punch exclaimed, surprised. "What would that > information be, Judy?" Dan: The news is that they have no leads. > "Well, it turns out he's been identified! Tango: He's now on Pirate Island at the Pirate Rehabilitation School. Dan: [Punch] So he's not unidentified, is he? Rebecca: [Judy] Uhhm... Time for a commercial! > His name is Ben Jiang! > Rumor has it that he works for the Red Dragon Syndicate!" Dan: Or at least what's left of it. Tango: A hand-full of mooks and some good chefs. > Jet raised his brow slightly. Ling Ling [Spock]: Fascinating, Captain. > "The Red Dragon Syndicate...?" He frowned. "Best not let Spike hear > about this." > "Why not?" questioned Ed, twisting around to look at Jet. Ling Ling: Linda Blair, ladies and gentlemen, in a special guest appearance! > "He'll go off and get himself hurt," Jet responded, his voice heavily > worried. Rebecca: He might even get himself *killed.* [Mutters darkly] Ling Ling: Yes, we wouldn't want Spike to *die.* Dan: [Faye] I'll update his life insurance. > "The Red Dragon Syndicate," Nasutei repeated quietly. "That's the most > powerful crime circle in the star system." Ling Ling: As powerful as the Piranha Brothers? Rebecca: Or at least it was till it's leader was *killed* along with a few thousand of his men and his predecessors. Ling Ling: Bitter? Rebecca: Very. > Jet nodded. "Which is why we're all keeping out mouths shut. If Spike > gets word of this, he won't hesitate to run off." Dan: So that's why they keep him tied to a post in the front yard. > Faye peeked into the room as she walked past, and only barely caught > the bounty of the new hit as it flashed across the screen. 30 > million...? She nodded with determination. She could bag this one, > no sweat. All: Famous Last Words. Ling Ling: I'll bet twenty dollars Hong Kong she ends up handcuffed to a toilet. Dan: Say, that's an idea... [Rebecca hits him with a cushion.] > She needed something to take her mind off Spike as it was. Rebecca: And nothing like a little mayhem and violence to break up the romantic tension. Ling Ling: *sigh* Tell me about. That's why Marta and I never go out anymore. > After making sure none of the four in the room had spotted her, she > slipped off into the night. Dan: Departing silently like a thief in the night. Rebecca: BANG! CRUNCH! Tango: WOOF! TOGG! Ling Ling: WA-TAK! CRASH! Dan: ...Mostly. > ***** > Spike jolted awake for the fifth time that night, his heart pounding, > his body slicked with a fine coating of sweat. Dan: With the eleven secret herbs and spices. Ling Ling: Sweaty Spike... [Stares off into the distance.] Rebecca: Mmmmm.... [Stares off into the distance.] Tango: Oh-oh, we've lost them. > He ran his hand through > his hair and let out a soft sigh. Where had THAT dream come from?! Tango: The one where he's naked in church and fighting a dinosaur? Ling Ling: ... ahhh... never mind. > Quietly, he leaned back against his pillow, staring at the ceiling Rebecca: ...Strangely fascinating. > as he attempted to slow his heart rate to normal. He swallowed heavily. > For a long time, Julia had plagued his dreams in a similar manner. > Her eyes, her voice, her body... Ling Ling: Marta... > Since when had Faye been part of his dreams? Dan: Ever since that midnight pizza binge. Ling Ling: [Looks up] I'd say since about 5 pages ago. > He forced back the memory, > attempted to crush it. However, that thought remained. Tango: He's dreaming about Ed? All: EEEW! > But that memory > wouldn't leave. It remained there, ate at him, the thought of Faye's > body beneath his... Tango: Several miles beneath his. Ling Ling: What? He has to be on top? That's seems to be a bit of a presumption. I mean, Marta and I switch... uhm... err... [blushes] Never mind... Dan: No, do tell... [Rebecca twitches] > The very thought of the feel of that situation made > him feel strange, and he shifted uncomfortably. The dream had left him > with a very interesting problem, Rebecca: [Spike] How am I going to get these sheets to the washing machine without anyone spotting them? Ling Ling: Ewww... > and he didn't particularly feel like > dealing with it without the object of the dream's obsession there... > Sighing, he closed his eyes, trying to bring other thoughts in. Nothing, > however, seemed to want to replace the memory of a very wanton and very > undressed Faye. Dan: [Raises hand] I'll trade! Rebecca: Poor Dan can't work himself up beyond Oprah. Ling Ling: Big Oprah, or little Oprah? Rebecca: *Big.* > He groaned lightly, putting his hand over his eyes. Tango: [Spike] Hey you, authour person! Will you get out of my head and let me get some sleep? Rebecca: Maybe it's Nasutei frying his brain with her Newtype powers. > "Shit," he grunted annoyedly. "Of all the people to wedge themselevs > into my dreams, it HAD to be her..." Ling Ling [Shrug]: Marta wouldn't complain, that's for sure. Dan: Me neither! > Sighing, he turned onto his side and tried to go back to sleep. > ***** > The top of the building was dark and chilly, and at about this point, > Faye was starting to question the intelligence of coming up here. Dan: Hey, it IS cold up here! [Ling Ling AND Rebecca hit him with various assorted objects] > The leads she had found pointed directly to this place, but she saw no one Rebecca: Not even the mystic ninjas lurking in the shadows? Tango: Don't trust the pigeons. Don't EVER trust the pigeons. > who matched the description of the boy from Big Shots... Dan: However there was someone who looked just like him but with a moustache. > And then, she saw him. He stood quietly there in the shadows, only the > glints of light from those violet eyes Rebecca: Hey, is he special too? > and the highlights in his > gold-streaked black hair visible. He grinned. Ling Ling: Violet eyes and gold-streaked black hair? What is this, Cyberpunk 2020? Rebecca: This table says that you are a [Rolls dice] Nudist! > "Miss Faye Valentine," he nodded lightly. "Welcome." Tango [Ben]: TO YOUR DEATH! Muahahahahaha! Rebecca [Faye]: Is that the best you can do? That is sooo cliche. > Faye started, her green eyes widening in shock at the sound of her name. > "How... how did you know...?!" Dan [Ben:] It says on your name badge: "Hi, my name is Faye" > "Vicious makes sure to inform his students of important things such as > this. You're Spike's current interest, aren't you?" Rebecca [Faye]: No. Tango [Ben]: Oh. Well ok then, we're sorry, our bad. > Faye frowned, trying to hide the fear the name 'Vicious' evoked inside her. Rebecca: Yeah, the thought of that name does bring up terrible thoughts of 3rd rate wrestling and poorly done promos. Ling Ling: I take it he's alive as well? Rebecca: Yep. Ling Ling: ...Right. > "You wish," she snapped. Ling Ling: No, the fanboys wish. > "I don't wish, I know," grinned the boy. "Allow me to introduce myself. > My name is Ben Jiang of the Red Dragon Syndicate." Tango [Ben]: And I'll be your exposition for this evening. > Faye started again, then turned to run, but she was met by Ben, who had > somehow managed to jump over and land in front of her. Dan: He IS special! Ling Ling: Great, Nasutei is a Newtype, and this guy is a Saiyajin. > With the shock > this caused, he lashed foreward and grabbed her arm, jerking her foreward. Rebecca: Whoops, there you go. Everyone knows that female characters are automatically rendered helpless by grabbing that one vital nerve spot. Dan: Where's that? Rebecca: Upper right arm. Dan: Serious? Can I try? [Ling Ling Maces Dan. Rebecca hits him] > Placing a little bit of pressure to her neck, he grinned when she groaned > lightly and fell unconscious. Rebecca: Wow, he knows the Vulcan neck grip. > Part one of the mission was complete. Now, > to bait in the game. ***** > A few days passed... no word from Faye. And at first, no one really > minded. Dan: [Jet] Never liked her anyway. Rebecca: [Spike] At last, some peace and quiet. Ling Ling: [Nasutei] My competition is gone! Tango: [Ed] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do... > Until a few mornings later. Rebecca: When they realised they still had cash left. > Spike sighed as he staggered out of his room, clad only in sweatpants. Rebecca & Ling Ling: Ooohhh... > His head was killing him, and his mind was racing. Tango: It was second place in the Indy 500. > For some odd reason, > in the past few days, he had developed a sense of worry about Faye's > disappearance. Dan: [Spike] There must be something wrong with me. > He was just about to question Jet about her location > when the older man tossed a package at him. Ling Ling: [Package] Hi! I'm a thirty-second bomb! Twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven... *BOOM* I lied. > "This came for you this morning," he stated nonchalantly. "There's a > forwarding address on it..." Tango: Of course, giving out your forwarding address is a bad move. Can you imagine how much spam you'll be getting in 2071? Next thing you know, there's ads for Viagra, high school diplomas, and gate computer hacking kits. > Spike took one glance at the forwarding address and his back stiffened. Dan: [Spike] Murmansk? They found my luggage! > "Vicious..." he growled lowly, his eyes becoming dark. Ripping open > the packaging, he was shocked at what he found. One of Faye's thigh > stockings, ripped up a bit, Dan: Saaay... [He gets pummelled again] Ling Ling: Where's the other one? Rebecca: Bens' wearing it. > as if she had struggled. On top of it lay > a note. He read it aloud in a growl. "Spiegel, if you want to see Tango: [Note] Any more fan-service. > the > girl again, come to the top of Community Hall at midnight..." Spike > growled, crushing the note in his fist. "...you can count on > it." Rebecca: So which community hall is that? Tango: Just Community Hall. In the future, they'll only have one of everything: one international orchestra, one community hall, and one basketball team, oddly enough. > ***** > Spike stood stiffly against the harsh wind blowing that night, his > trenchcoat folding and melding about his thin form. His eyes, in > their two different shades of brown, seemed cold and hateful. Dan: With sunny patches on the coast. > "There once was a man," a voice started, Tango: [Voice] Named Jed. A poor mountaineer, he barely kept his family fed. > "who loved a beautiful angel. Tango: Unfortunately, that Angel went on to destroy the Earth. > But the angel could not stay with him, and vice versa. So the angel > decided to clip her wings and stay with the man... Ling Ling: Keiichi would soon discover that was a mixed blessing. > but the angel was > found by a devil, and with her wings clipped, Dan: ...She turned into a talking cat... > she could not fly away... [They all make snoring noises] > and she was killed by the devil, leaving the man alone. You're the > one who clipped Miss Valentine's wings, Spike... Rebecca: Sorry, she ain't no angel. > maybe I'm the devil that killed her." Ling Ling [Deep voice]: I'm the devil. I'm here to do the devil's business. > Spike narrowed his eyes, not recognizing that voice. Dan: [Spike] You're putting me to sleep already. > "Who's there?" he called into the dark. > Ben stepped out of the shadows and into the light, pushing a slim > figure in front of him. It was Faye... battered, bruised, scared... Dan: Where'd those come from? Rebecca: She was damaged in the post. > but alive, thankfully alive. > "My name is Ben Jiang. I've come on behalf of Vicious, to prove my > worth to him." Ling Ling: [Jiang] Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. > Spike sneered, his face still dark. "Proving yourself to Vicious? Some > task. Shouldn't take you long." Dan: [Jiang] Hey Vicious, I've proved myself. Can I come in now? Tango: If Vicious is trying to rebuild the Red Dragons, he probably shouldn't be as choosy. Rebecca: But he had to draw the line at the three old guys. Ling Ling: I sure would. > Ben let out a light growl. "We'll see how tough you are..." He shoved > Faye to the ground roughly, where she stayed, dazed, looking over at > Spike with the eyes of a child. "Fight me." Ling Ling: MOOOORRTAAAALLLL KOMBAT! > "I don't fight kids," was Spike's low reply. Tango: Let me tell you, gangsters these days... Back in *my* day- Dan: This is your day. [Long pause] Tango: Back in *my* day... > "Then I'll make you...!" Ben rushed at Spike without thought or > precidence, and instantly landed the first punch, a strong uppercut. Tango [Badly synthesised]: Tiger uppercut! > Spike stumbled back, but did not back off. Instead, he took the next > round of hits, each one throwing him a little more off balance. Rebecca: Well, I'm sure this tactic makes sense to somebody. Ling Ling: Maybe he's trying to hurt Ben's hands by blocking his fists with his hard head. > Ben > balanced in place, watching Spike with an angry glare. "Why won't > you fight back?!" Dan [Spike]: I'm waiting to get my super meter up to full. Tango: It's not his turn to go yet. Ling Ling [Spike]: I had a low initiative roll. > "I already told you," Spike weakly muttered, "I don't fight kids." Ling Ling: If he's beating you into a pulp, he's *not* a kid! > Ben growled and rushed foreward again, kicking Spike in the stomach > before landing a few blows to his face. Rebecca: Kick him in the balls and ask him that question again. > Spike coughed heavily, > growling a bit after that, dropping to his knees. > "Dammit..." growled Ben. He backed off finally. "This is pointless. All: We agree. > Let's get out of here." Spike didn't look up to watch Ben leaving. Dan: Ladies and gentlemen, Ben has left the building! > "You haven't seen the last of me, Spiegel! Just wait and see!" Tango [Ben as Dr Claw]: I'll get you next time, Spike. Next time! > Several minutes later, Spike heard the sound of a shuttle taking off, Rebecca: So he keeps a space shuttle around the back? Tango: Yeah, but it's got no wheels and is propped up on bricks and old fridges. > and he fell to his side on the pavement. He barely noticed someone > running over to him, gently cradling his upper body and head. > "Spike!" Faye's voice called to him. "Spike, look at me! Wake up, > dammit, don't you dare die on me!" All: Again. > Spike opened his eyes weakly and smiled up at Faye, Dan: It must be a great view from where he is. [Rebecca hits him with a cushion.] Cut that out! Rebecca: I'm sorry, where are my manners? Ling Ling? Ling Ling: Thanks. [She hits Dan with a cushion] > who had tears staining her face, causing her mascara to run. Ling Ling [Stomps on the floor]: Got it! > "You look ridiculous," he murmured. Dan: And this is coming from mister puffy hair here. > Faye bit her lip, trying to wipe away the tears with a free hand. > "Spike... you do not realize how good it is to see you..." > Spike nodded a little. "I was worried about you." > "...you were?" Dan: [Spike] You still owe me money. > Spike gave another weak nod as Faye actually hugged him gently, Rebecca: This is touching. I may heave. > her > head resting against his shoulder. "I wondered where you'd run off > to... Dan: All this time she was actually in the bathroom. Who knew? Tango: That toilet features very prominently in their lives. > I couldn't sleep... good thing I came after you." > Faye sighed a bit, resting her cheek against Spike's. "...let's just > go home, okay?" Tango: Quick, Robin, to the Batcave! > Spike smiled slightly, weakly lifting up one hand to cradle the back > of Faye's head. "All right... let's do that." Tango: Then let's break for lunch. > ***** > "Vicious. I need to talk to you." Ling Ling [Ben]: I wanna be traded. Dan [Ben]: I want my release! > Ben gave a light cringe as the bird on Vicious' shoulder squawked Dan [Ben]: What the hell is that thing on your shoulder anyway? Tango [Vicious, Geeky]: I wanted to be a pirate! > after > he spoke, accenting the cold cruelty of the ice-haired man it perched > upon. He frowned. That bird... it had squawked at him Rebecca: -During his poetry reading. > when Vicious > taught him his first lesson of respect. A scar on his left cheek, a > mark from the swift movement of that ruthless katana... Dan: Followed by a wedgie. > "Speak, Ben." Vicious' voice broke into his thoughts. "I don't have > time to wait for a comment." Rebecca: Nobody ever signs Vicious' guest book. Tango: Some guy from AOL signed it as "nice page but u need more picz of faye and misato faye ruuuuuuuuuuullzzz." Ling Ling: How does he pronounce things like that? Dan: It's best not to think about it. > "He let me beat him, Vicious. Is this infamous Spike Spiegel truly so > weak that he refuses to fight me?!" Dan: No, it's just that you're authour created, and you have odd hair and eyes. Everyone knows it takes an ACC to beat another ACC. > "Ben, calm yourself. Spike was protecting that girl. I doubt he knew > what he was truly dealing with." Rebecca: He underestimated the true power of the dark side. > Ben's face tightened as the bird squawked again. > "He thought I was a child?" Dan [Ben, extra-squeaky]: I'm not a kid! Not not not not not! > There was a pause as Vicious turned, those cold blue eyes focusing on > the young Chinese man. > "He didn't expect you. Are you backing out?" Dan [Vicious]: What's the matter, Ben, chicken? > Ben growled. Rebecca: Down boy. Back. Sit. Sit! Stay. Good mook. > "Of course not!" He clenched his fists. "But I've waited for months to > face Spike Spiegel in combat! Tango [Ben]: We did all the promos, had all the inconclusive Monday night matches with mystery interference and put us on all the ads for the PPV. > You can't tell me he was only doing that > because he wasn't expecting me! Do you honestly think I'm that much of > a fool?!" Dan [Vicious]: Yes. Tango [Ben]: Well that's okay then. > There was a loud cracking noise, and for a moment, Ben saw stars. Rebecca: It took several takes for him to get it right. He kept on getting tweeting birds. > Slowly, > he turned his eyes back to Vicious, his hand slowly lifting to his > reddened cheek. Vicious' expression hadn't changed, but his eyes were > frighteningly darker, harder. Dan [Vicious]: I love these new contact lenses. > The slap had silenced the room but for the breathing of the two men. Dan: I guess everybody else was holding their breath. Tango [Quiet]: Squark. > "Do not raise your voice to me. You learned your lesson once." He pointed > at the scar on the boy's cheek. "Don't make me do it again." Rebecca: Now go sit in the corner. > Ben drew a shaky breath, then nodded. > "Of course, Vicious." > "Now get out of my sight." > That damned bird accentuated his words. Tango [Parrot]: Get out of my sight! Wark! Polly want a cracker! Wark! At the Pelican topiary go north! Wark! > Ben gave a forced nod at this and quickly left. > "Vicious..." he growled once he was out of the older man's earshot. > "One day... I'll show you just what this 'kid' can do..." Dan [Ben]: That's it. I'm not taking any more from him. Tango [Vicious]: Ben! The toilet's backed up again! Dan [Ben]: Coming, sir! > ***** > The hours passed like days for the next week. Rebecca: It was raining, and there was nothing good on TV. > Spike lay quietly in his bed, Ling Ling: Oh, so maybe he does have a bed after all. > sleeping as if he'd never been away. Faye had never left his side, > occasionally running her fingers through his fluffy green hair. Dan: Doesn't he ever wash? There's stuff living in there! Tango: Are you kidding? It's where he hides his spare big motherf'king gun! > He only > mumbled lightly, turning his face towards the touch. Faye sighed. "Why'd > you have to come...? Rebecca: His life had gotten so dull without her. > Not that I regret you doing so..." > "Well... I couldn't... let you die..." Dan: She still owes him money. Tango: She owes the entire universe money. She's a Banana republic unto herself. Ling Ling: All she needs is a tacky military uniform and several square feet of ribbons and medals. > Faye blinked as she looked at Spike. He had woken up, and was yawning > slightly. "Oh, you're awake. Good to see." Rebecca: Didn't we see this scene in "Ballard of Fallen Angels" and "Sympathy for the Devil?" Dan: And in a few earlier chapters of this fic. Rebecca: Originality is way overrated. > She leaned down and lightly > brushed her lips over his cheek. "I have to admit, I'd underestimated you." Tango: She gave him five minutes, tops. > Spike smirked a little. "Well, this is an interesting outcome." > He tilted his head. "What do you think?" Tango: I think cabbage smells funny, especially after you microwave it. Rebecca: I think that, when you think about it, a Faye/Jet romance makes more sense. Dan: I'm not going to think about either of those. Ling Ling: Sure, Faye turns to Jet for consolation after Spike dies fighting Vicious. Makes sense to me. Dan: And the cabbage? Ling Ling: I'm not going there. > "I think that all our bickering and constantly saving each other's asses > has caused us to develop some sort of twisted affection," Faye chuckled. > Smiling a bit to herself with a newfound enthusiasm for what she was doing, > she leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to Spike's lips, waiting for a > moment before he responded. The response was not what she'd expected, > however. Dan [Spike]: You still owe me. Rebecca [Faye]: Damn. > He slipped one strong hand around to the small of her back, hauling her > down > to lay on top of him. Her lips curled into a smile as she gazed up at him > through unruly locks of black hair. Ling Ling: Purple. Faye has purple hair. > "You're trying to seduce me," she muttered, her lips brushing against the > warm skin of his neck. Dan: And it's working, too. Rebecca: Well, here goes everyone's last chance to be IC. > "I'm glad you're catching on." He eased his hold on her a little and lifted > his head to look into her face. "You know, it's hell letting go of Julia to > get this far... this is really... difficult." Dan: Note that he's saying that while gazing down her front. Tango: STARCR- [Ling Ling hits him] > Faye's lungs ached for air suddenly. Ling Ling: [laughter] > She sucked in a shaky breath. "Then why bother?" > He groaned. "Because I want you. Because this situation is driving me crazy... > and because I must have no pride at all." Rebecca: Self-esteem's way overrated. Like neither of them have any pride. > Faye blinked as moonlight spilled through the room's single window, > onto the bed, onto his face. She saw the faint grimace of pain and > self-derision. > "Pride? What does pride have to do with it?" Ling Ling: Well, pride does go before a fall. Dan: What's pride but a second hand emotion? [Rebecca hits him, hard] Tango: What's the price of pride? Ask Jodie Rich. > Spike gave a low, frustrated sound in his throat. "I don't want to discuss > it. In fact, I don't want to talk at all. I don't even want to think." Rebecca: That must happen to you a lot. Dan: That's right, I try not to think all the time... wait a sec... Ling Ling: *snicker* > His mouth crushed against hers, Tango: His lips, fortunately, had a crumple zone and airbags. Dan: No, Faye has the airbags. Rebecca: You're really asking for it, you know that? Ling Ling: Funbags, Dan, funbags. Don't you know your chauvinistic slang by now? > hot and urgent. There was a world of > need and passion in that kiss Dan: A whole new world? Tango [Shrek]: No singing. > -- a need and passion reflecting her own. > His body was tense and restless as it moved against her. Finally, he > moved his face away from hers. Tango: He moved it to another suburb across town. > "All I want to do right now," he said > huskily, "is kiss you all over and ravish you. But if you truly don't > want to, Faye, you'd better go now." Dan: That's one hell of a pick up line. I should try it. Rebecca: Okay, but when you get killed, don't come crawling to me. Ling Ling: Errr... well... it sort of worked for Marta. > Faye's heart pounded against her ribs. She lay very still, gazing up at > him, seeing the raw hunger in his eyes, Tango [Spike]: Mmm... fresh meat... Dan [Spike]: Melons. > a hunger contained by sheer force of will. Dan [Spike]: Must... contain hunger... must not... pig out... Rebecca [Singing]: Hunger, I need it so bad. I can taste it, it's driving me mad... > If she moved now, away from him, he would let her go. She was free to > get up and leave the room. He didn't want her if she didn't want him, > or at least that's what he said. She realized she was barely breathing. Dan: She needs mouth to mouth! I'll volunteer! Rebecca: Sit down before you hurt yourself, Dan. Or I hurt you, whichever comes first. > Emotions clogged her throat. She wanted him more than she'd ever wanted > him before -- her body aching, yearning. She wanted his hands stroking > and caressing her, his mouth kissing her all over. She wanted the fire > only he had ever stirred up inside her, just with a single word. Tango: And that word was antidisestablishmentarianism. > And > she wanted to touch him and kiss him and feel his body tremble under > her hands. Tango: So do it and spare us the text! > She wanted to feel that magical connection between them, Tango: With no lag or drop-outs! A full 56 kilobits per second! > the wholeness of belonging. How could she get up and leave now?! Dan: Her favourite show was on? > "Faye?" Spike said softly, interrupting her thoughts. "I've been > around you long enough... I know you well enough to know you want > this, too. Rebecca: What, money? Ling Ling: Lots of money. > We both need this... We can't go on the way we've been > the whole time we've known each other. It's too damned... nerve-racking. > Even... even before Julia died, I realized I was starting to fall in > love with you..." Ling Ling: Bullshit. > Faye nodded, pressing her face against his chest, feeling unusually giddy. > That's why she'd left after that bounty. Because she couldn't stand it > anymore, because she was going crazy. Dan: Oh, so she's been reading the fic too? > "And your running off and nearly getting yourself killed is no solution," > he added. "You know that." Rebecca: Aw come on, that's crap. That's exactly what Spike did in the last epsiode. He ran off to get himself killed as a way of solving all his problems. Ling Ling: Well... his "Code of Vengeance" and "Hates Vicious" Psych Lims didn't help matters much. > "Yeah..." she whispered. "I--..." Her voice faltered, and once again, > tears filled her eyes. > "You scared the hell out of me, you know that?" > "I'm sorry," she said thickly. She fought against the emotion swelling > inside. She felt his hand on her breast, a gentle touch that sent a fresh > rush of tingling warmth through her. Dan: Firm and fruity. [Rebecca and Ling Ling hit him, repeatedly] > "Faye?" His voice sounded strangled. "Tell me what you want." Ling Ling [Faye]: I want to be out of debt to the universe. > "I want us to make love," she said tremulously, pushing away everything > in her mind, the memories of anguish and loneliness, the warning bells, > the angry little voices. Rebecca [Voice]: Be IC! Don't do this! > Something broke loose in him -- Dan: The elastic in his underwear? > she felt the tremor pass through him, the > easing of tension held in cheek with effort. No more restraint now as he > kissed her mouth with reckless passion. No more restraint as he somehow managed > to squirm her out of her clothing, Dan: The laws of physics finally managed to catch up with her shorts. Tango [Spike]: So that's where you keep your big motherf'king gun! > none as he touched her breasts, kissing > them one at a time, urgently, but never rushed. Ling Ling: [raises a fist and glares at Dan] Dan: What? > "I wished for this so much," he whispered. "So much..." Ling Ling [Spike]: ...Julia. Oh! I'm sorry, did I say that out loud? > "Yes..." Her voice was barely a whisper. She ran her hands through his > hair, feeling her breasts swell against his mouth. Her nerves tingled, > her blood sang, her body danced. Tango: She got drunk. > She lost herself in the feelings, the freeing of inhibitions, touching and > caressing his body all over, kissing him with an abandon fed by a fierce > longing that no longer wanted to be repressed. > He whispered her name. "You feel so good... so good..." Ling Ling [Spike]: ...Julia. > She clung to him, Tango: So they needed to get Jet with a crowbar. > drowning in a frenzy of need, letting herself go. > time and place receded, blurred, Dan: And compressed. They were in the end sequence of Final Fantasy 8. > and she was aware of only him and > the magic between them -- the hunger that needed to be stilled, the > wildfire that needed to be doused. Dan [Smokey Bear]: And remember, only you can prevent forest fires. Tango: And the Zerg Overmind says "Ganyarkeurkmunurkleeeplinglrgle!" I shall obey, master! > "Spike... oh, Spike..." A whisp of air, barely audible. Ling Ling [Spike]: Oh Julia! > Hot skin against hot skin. Breath mingling with breath. Hearts throbbing, > tongues dancing. Hands searching, caressing. Rebecca: Stomachs churning. > Again, he moaned her name. Dan: [Spike] Oh, Ed! [They all stare at him] Dan: What? > "I want you, I need you..." he whispered. "You don't realize how long > I've wanted this..." Tango: Well, being on a space ship, you would be a bit lonely. > "I've... wanted you too..." she breatehd, no thinking, only feeling. "So > much, so much..." > Their bodies locked together, Tango: Their braces were stuck. > and they were swept high up into weightless rapture Rebecca [Ed]: What are Faye-Person and Spike-Person doing? Dan [Jet]: Er... Interfacing their hardware. Rebecca [Ed]: Oooh! Can Ed overclock it? Ling Ling: That would be bizarre, to say the least. > -- a place where stars exploded and passion shattered until all > that was left was a slow, languorous drifting and delicious contentment. > He kissed her chieeks, her eyes. "You're crying..." he said huskily. "Oh, > Faye... c'mon... please don't cry..." Ling Ling: Is there anyone in the Bebop Universe that is should be a crime to make cry? Rebecca: Ed. Definitely Ed. Everyone else in on their own. > She smiled through her tears. "I'm just so happy... it felt so right, > so... so perfect." > "Yes..." He hugged her convulsively. "Perfect." Dan: So now he can bugger off down to the pub and tell Jet and his friends all about it. > ***** > Nasutei lifted her head from where she was reading her book to a shout > a few doors down, from Spike's room. Idly, she raised a brow, then went > back to reading her book. Rebecca [Nasutei, twee]: They're doing naughty things. > ~Love On...~ > ~.oOo.~Spike: There is no way in hell. He is NOT back. Rebecca: Great, who's back from the dead now? Dan: I say Gren. Tango: Better not be. I think Faye's confused enough as it is. > Faye: Oh, no, not again... > Jet: Oh, hell. > Nasutei: Nani desu ka? What's going on? > Spike: It's that idiot ANDY again! > Andy: It's Musashi now! [Long Pause] Rebecca: Andy in this fic. Dan: Help. Tango: I'll get the shotgun. Ling Ling: I'll help. > Spike: *eyebrow tick* Next session, "No Special Rider." > Nasutei: Something tells me that sparks are gonna fly...~.oOo.~ Dan: They just did. [The TV switches off] Rebecca: I hate WAFF. Voice: So can I have your reviews now? Dan: Guest riffers get to go first. Ling Ling: I'm not sure the point behind this. By bringing Spike back to life, and returning everything on the Bebop to the way it was before Episode 24, you've basically destroyed any emotional content to the last three episodes. That and this seems to be another case of the author having the characters do what they want, instead of what the characters would usually do. Spike would never fall for Faye or Faye for him. Faye's been burned by love, she doesn't get close to anyone, while Spike, to be honest, is obsessed with Julia. And I won't even get into the whole "Spike and Vicious aren't dead" part of the story. Rebecca: I must say that these two chapters were about as substantial as a sparrow fart. These two chapters could have easily been amalgamated as one chapter. The first was merely there to reintroduce Ed and Ein, and was done with virtually no depth. It was little more than a re-introduction, and a rather minimal one at that. The second spent forever setting up a situation, then resolved it quickly. After that, we had to sit through several hours of wrap-up. Dan: Look, I'm getting fed up with all these "special" people in this fic. I mean, being fair, CB always was a bit mystical and stuff, but this is ridiculous. Nasutei is clearly "special," being a low-calorie Rei clone, and fricking Ben is hopping around the landscape like nobody's business. Can't we just have a stand-up fight with real people? Is that too much to ask? Voice: That's fine, thanks Tango: But I haven't done my review yet! Voive: Don't worry ab- Tango: Well I have my crack team of monkeys preparing my review, so in the meantime I shall quote various video games. You Spoony Bard! Voice: No real- Tango: This is sickening, you all sound like chapters from a self help booklet! Voice: If you don- Tango: Its super effective! Voice: You know, I think I'll be fine without that review... Tango: Awwww. Ling Ling: You are a truly unique person. And I don't mean that in a good way. Tango: I try. Ling Ling: Okay, it's all over. Can I clear out now? Voice: Yes, you're free to go. Dan: Say, I was wondering- Ling Ling: No. Dan: But you didn't- Ling Ling: No. Dan: I- [Ling Ling fishes in her purse] Dan: Alright, alright, forget it! Tango: Ooh! Me! Me! [Tango jumps up from his seat. Ling Ling panics and sprays him with Mace] Tango: Mmm, peppery! Ling Ling: What? Tango: Do you have some in mint flavour? Dan: I guess it doesn't work anymore. [The screen goes blank. There is a brief spraying sound, then Dan screams] Rebecca: Nope, it works alright. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riffed by: Jinas (jinas@elmerstudios.com), Rick R. Mortis (rickr@elmerstudios.com), Twin Cannon(ausmax@ihug.com.au) and Mike Surbrook (susano@buser.net) Ling Ling Li Copyright (c) 1987-2001 by Yuzo Takada. This version was used without permission. Tango is copyright 1997-2001 "TS" Eliot (Twin Cannon) Dan is copyright 1999-2001 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley is copyright 1999-2001 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.elmerstudios.com All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, random DELTA Invasion Episode Generator and the Satellite of Rednecks in one spot. Surbrook's Stuff: http://www.devermore.net/surbrook/index/index.html Hero System goodness, including anime material, Kazei 5, the Kazei 5 PBEM, artwork, other MSTings, and a zillion character sheets. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm Fighters Anthology .lib and mission files, utterly disturbing Nova Satori shrine, the AntiKevs and Fanfic Carp, all in one big steaming pile. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > The happy-hyper-psycho-child-genius-on-crack sat > up, peering into the computer screen before she leapt up onto her hands > with a shout of joy.