Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's episode 113 (sort of) and time for something a little off-skew: A Macross/Evangelion Crossover. Evangelion is copyright Gainax. Macross is copyright Bandai/Big West. A Wish Come True is copyright Eva_Unit_12@hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette.] [Rick, Dan, Tsuneo and Rebecca enter laughing and chatting] Rick: But just... Oh, that was so bad! Dan: Y'know, I'm still trying to decide what was the worst part of that film. Rebecca: You mean between the wooden acting, hokey special effects, incredibly fake props and complete lack of worthwhile story? Tsuneo: Not to mention that every single scene was ripped off from another movie. Rick: I think what's funny about it in the end, is that it didn't wind up at all like a D&D game. Dan: How do you mean? Rick: Simple. No goblinoids got plotted for extra experience, a thief was the main character- Rebecca: As if you'd play a thief. Tsuneo: Subtlety is surprisingly useful, you know. Dan: Yeah, but the thief is always the guy who's kinda quiet and hogs the corn chips, not the party leader. Rick: So basically, it wasn't an accurate representation of the game that inspired it. Tsuneo: But how could it be? D&D doesn't have a fixed setting, or characters, or anything. Dan: Well, I'd just bring it more in line with the goings-on of a real playing session. You'd have a bunch of fighters, a weedy mage, and a cleric with no personality who just heals people. They get drunk, go into a dungeon, and kill things. End of story. Rick: And they keep arguing with the monsters over whether or not they got hit? Dan: And survive through ridiculous amounts of damage. Tsuneo: Personally, I'd just enhance the movie for the gamer audience. You flash up each character's class, level and attributes when they're introduced, flash dice rolls above everyone's heads when they're fighting, and sell the module out in the lobby. Rick: I'd re-write it as a Xena script. I reckon that Xena could whup everyone's butts, steal the plot device of Red Dragon control and jump into the porridge tub for some nookie with Gabrielle before the film was half over, even allowing for ad breaks. Rebecca: Wait... Porridge tub? Rick: You know, the one the gay guy had in the middle of his room. Tsuneo: Gay guy? And I don't recall any porridge tubs. Rick: You remember, bald, blue lipstick, tight fitting rubber armour... Those are some pretty obvious signs. Rebecca: You're right. He and Evil Wizard were probably having it off while the camera was elsewhere. Tsuneo: Ok, I remember him now. But I don't recall a porridge tub. Rick: Well, remember when Snailz was in his room and stepped on the carpet that turned out to be a trap and tried to suck him in? Well that wash is porridge tub. Dan: I think it was a common or garden trap, buddy. Rick: Nope. You see, if it was a trap, he'd put it near the door as a way of stopping people from entering. However, in the middle of the room, it's not doing any good. Thus, it was his personal porridge tub. Rebecca: That explains why he was so pissed off at Snailz and disposed of him. He'd just gotten it to the right temperature and with enough brown sugar, and Snailz up and ruined it. Dan: I'd kill someone if they messed with my porridge tub. Tsuneo: That reveals more about you than I really wanted to know, Dan. Dan: What? What? Voice: Good morning all. Rebecca: And good morning to you, Dr Grimes... or should I call you Eddie? Rick: Well that's obscure. Voice: I should probably feel insulted, but I can't think why. Tsuneo: Because she said it? Voice: Good enough. Dan: How's things voice? Rick: And if you were thinking of feeding us that D&D movie, forget it. We all ready saw it. Voice [Muttered]: Curses. Tsuneo: What was that, Voice? Voice: Never mind. Tsuneo: Right. Dan: So, ah, Voice, what's the hurt for the day? Or do we get off scott-free? Voice: Well, yes, the, ah... Rebecca: Experiment? Voice: Yes, the experiment... I mean fic for the day... ah... Rick: He's stalling. Tsuneo: I think we may have crashed his plans. Rebecca: See, I told you it was a good idea to see it before he showed us it. Voice: Ah yes, the fic for the day. I've managed to find something that combines the tastes of all of you guys. It's a fic called "A Wish Come True", which is a Macross/Evangelion crossover. Dan: Macross/Evangelion? There goes the Goofy Meter again. [They sit; Dan and Rick on the forwards-facing couch, Rebecca and Tsuneo on the other one. Dan and Rebecca are closest on the corners] Rick: I think the head's managed to out-do himself in finding this one. Tsuneo: I suppose I should be thankful that it's not Evangelion and Slayers again. [The TV switches on] > Ok well I know I usually write simply Eva fics and lemons Tsuneo: Well there's a good qualifier to start. > but I just had this > idea in my head ever since I started What The Hell Happened to Neon Genesis > Evangelion. Tsuneo: It ended. Next! > I have not been able to get it out of my head since then. So I > figured it was time to write it. The fic is a Macross/Eva crossover. Rick: Dumb question time. Why? Rebecca: Because no-one's ever tried it before? Dan: Ever wondered why not? > I'm not > sure where everything falls in on the Macross chronology sometime after 7 I > believe. Rebecca: And it includes the indistinct crew of a completely new ship. Rick: This guy's really certain about his own fic, isn't he? > This takes place after the attack of the 5th angel. So please insert > standard disclaimers here. Don't own Eva, don't own Macross. Just write them. > The Macross characters are all mine Rebecca: See? See? Dan: I'd ask for a fic with real Macross characters, but I don't think I'd like to see the result. > the Eva ones are not. Oh and if anyone has > played VF-X that is what the ship looks like that except it can launch more > fighters at once. Tsuneo: [Authour] If you haven't, tough luck. Rebecca: And that's the completely new ship. Rick: I have a feeling she's going to be insufferably smug for the whole fic. > The Zentraedi ship is one of their largest cruiser. Dan: Are you trying to be as vague as possible? > Visit My > homepage at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Subway/9523/episode With out further > ado the fic. Tsuneo: And occasionally punctuation. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > -------------------------- > A Wish Come True Chapter 1 Rebecca [Rei]: I wish I was a real girl! Rick [Kensuke]: I wish I had a life! > The Valhalla-3 cruised through space in hot pursuit of the Zentraedi warship. > This was the firs Zentraedi warship that had been encountered in decades. The > Earth had not encountered hostile Zentraedi in many years. Rebecca: Except in 2012, 2039, 2040, 2045, 2047, 2049... Dan: Okay, so it's a *long* time after Macross 7. > Now they had to stop > this ship from fleeing so they could find the rest of the Zentraedi fleet. Dan: What's wrong with following it? Rick: Quick! Follow that Zentradi vessel of indeterminate class! > The > Valhalla was rapidly gaining on the Zentraedi ship but it was still not in > firing range. The captain sat in her chair on the bridge and was getting anxious > because soon the Zentraedi would be able to execute a hyperspace fold. Tsuneo: So why didn't they fold out earlier? Rick: The hamster wasn't spinning his wheel fast enough. > "How much longer till we are in firing range lieutenant?" asks Captain Norika Dan: [Lieutenant] I could take a few pot-shots and find out. > "We should be in firing range in approximately 1 minute Captain." replies > lieutenant Kisagiri > "How long till the Zentraedi will be able to execute a hyperspace fold?" asks > Captain Norika > "In 1 minute 30 seconds Captain." answers lieutenant Berrian Rebecca: I'm so glad we know who all these people are. > "Shit that only gives us 30 seconds to take them out." thinks Norika Rick: [Berrian] 20 seconds, mam. I had to tell you. No, it's 10 seconds, since I had to- no, wait, they've gotten away while I was reporting. > "Bring all guns to bear on their engine systems now. I want those things > targeted. Then open fire when we are in firing range." Dan: Thank you, captain statement-of-the-blatantly-obvious. > 30 seconds later the Valhalla open up with a huge barrage of fire on the fleeing > Zentraedi ship. Rebecca: I'd love to know how a tiny little UN Spacy corvette is going to disable a Zentradi warship many times its size in thirty seconds. Rick: Foreign object damage? > they score few key hits on the engines Dan: And blew up the salad bar, the bastards! Tsuneo: At least one Zentradi on the bridge was killed when his control panel shorted out for no good reason. > but the Zentraedi are still going to make the hyperspace fold jump. Tsuneo: Remind me, how do they know exactly what the Zentradi ship is going to do? Dan: There's a little counter in the bottom corner of the screen that tells all players when the megaweapons are ready. > The hits on the engines have > damaged the Zentraedi engine a little and have bought the Valhalla a little more > time. Rick: [Berrian] We now have 32 seconds! All: [Bored] Yay. > "Helm bring us right next to the Zentraedi I wanna be brought along with them > when they jump." says Norika Tsuneo: Do you realise that you'll be dragging your ship and its entire complement into an unknown and possibly hostile situation? Rebecca: [Captain] Yeah, but it's going to be a laugh finding out. > "Is that advisable captain? asks Kisagiri > "No it's not but unfortunately we don't have a choice." answers Norika Dan: You could keep firing. Rebecca: You could track their course when they fold. Rick: You could ask them politely not to. Tsuneo: You could give up and go home. > The Valhalla moves into the range of the Zentraedi's fold. Rebecca: Actually, the fold systems on Zentradi ships are conformal to the hulls. You couldn't fold with it unless you wedged yourself into its side. Dan: Fangirl. Rebecca: I used to do this for a job, you twerp. > except there is something different about this fold. Rick: It's lime flavoured. > As it encases both ships lieutenant Berrian gets alarming reading. Dan: [Berrian] Sir according to this, we're in space! Rebecca: I like Berrian. His main job seems to be to relay the utterly pointless. Tsuneo: It could be a her. > "Captain I am detecting rips and distortions along the space time continuum. Dan: [Captain] Is it a kind of wibly thing, or more of a swirly thing? Rick: [Berrian] At this point, I'd hate to commit myself and look like a fool. > There are also rips according along spaces dimensional fabric. Tsuneo: [Captain] Didn't you just say that? Rebecca: [Berrian] Well it was so important, I thought I'd say it twice. > I am recording all of these reading because if the instruments are right > then we are going to another dimension." Tsuneo: [Berrian] Nothing like this has ever happened before, but I know what it is and I'm absolutely ready for it! Am I cool or what? Rick: It could be just me, but maybe the little guy with the spiky hair out there has something to do with it. > "I knew this was a bad idea." thinks Kisagiri. Rick: [Kisagiri] Oh no, I'm just the second in command, it's always "objection noted," no-one ever listens to me. Dan: Is he even the second in command? Rick: Dunno, but it's a nice thought. > Then they are gone. both ships vanish completely form the this universe. Tsuneo: Well it wouldn't be a crossover if they didn't. > The > crew on the bridge are jerked and thrown about in this maze of colors and weird > tunnels that throw the ship all about. Rick: And the navigation officer floats past without her clothes. Weird. Dan: Obscure. > then it all stops. The Valhalla is thrown > out of the rift and is in a strange new place. > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Nerv HQ Dan: Caption? Why do you need to caption a text file? Rick: It's for the hearing impaired. Dan: ...I hate you. > It's just another day at the NERV base. Then entire bridge crew is relaxing > since there are no threats or anything to worry about today. Rebecca: Next angel's not due until Tuesday. > There job isn't so > bad especially when they just get to relax instead of work there buts off all > day. Rick: Maya is busy doing her nails. Dan: Hyuga and Aoba are playing endless rounds of Counterstrike. Rebecca: Misato is still at home, bombed out of her skull. Tsuneo: Gendo and Fuyutski are watching Brain Powerd and laughing. > But this isn't going to be one of those days. Rick: Cue the ominous music. > Suddenly all of the alarms are flashing. Rick: Even the ones labelled "gravy pressure" and "certainly doomed?" Dan: Okay, who tried to sneak out the fire stairs to have a quick smoke? > Instantly everyone snaps to and is checking there computers. Tsuneo: [Aoba] Yep, it's still there. > "Sir we have just detected 2 unidentified objects of large mass in orbit." says > Makoto Dan: [Gendo] Objects? Can you be any more specific? Rick: [Aoba] Okay, things. Dan: [Gendo] And? Rick: [Aoba] Well, they're definitely there. > "Could they be the next 2 angels?" asks Fuyutski Tsuneo: I thought angels only came one at a time. Rebecca: These two have a group booking. > "Sir the magi say that they are metallic objects." answers Shigeru Dan: That still doesn't help. > "I want a visual of the2 targets now." says Commander Ikari > Shigeru brings up the 2 targets. They are each on opposite sides of the planet. Tsuneo: If they folded together, why are they on opposite sides of the planet? Rebecca: Especially since they'd have to be glued together mutter grumble... Dan: You're hopeless. > One of the object is sleek and black. Dan: It was designed by the admiral with a mid-life crisis. > The other is green and sort of looks organic but it definitely isn't. Dan: So it doesn't really look organic, does it? Rebecca: If I read the intro right, it looks like a lumpy mutant pickle. > The black one looks like it could have been human designed Rick: So was it the "Made In Taiwan" stamp, or the huge "Intel Inside" label? > and the green one definitely looked alien. > "I want a close up of each object." says Commander Ikari > Shigeru has the observation satellites move in on each object. Dan: Because he's never heard of the zoom function. > There are no visible markings on the Green ship Rebecca: Apart from the alien squiggles all over the side. > they can just see the outlines of where windows and things might be. Dan: Things? Rick: You know, things. Dan: You know, it wouldn't kill the authour to be specific about something. > But on the black ship on maximum magnification they can se marking as well. Tsuneo: [Reading] Return to sender, address unknown. > At the very front end of the ship they can read the word > Valhalla-3. Everyone is shocked to see this word in English. > "Gendo what could this mean?" whispers Fuyutski Rebecca: It means either Seele have been building *more* weapons of mass destruction that they're not letting you in on, or there's a crossover in progress. > "I don't know" Gendo whispers back. > Then suddenly another alarm goes off. Dan: Oh, one that hadn't gone of before? Rick: Yeah, this is the "out of cheese error." > "Sir I am detecting 12 target descending from the Green ship. They appear to be > descending on our position!" shouts Makoto Rick: [Hyuga] We're all gonna die! [Long pause] Sorry, I always wanted to do that. > "Summon the pilots at once." says Gendo. Rebecca: Don't assume they're hostile. For all you know, they could just be dropping around to borrow a cup of sugar. Tsuneo: In a giant mutant space pickle? Rebecca: Okay, a lot of sugar. > "Yes sir" says Maya > "I want them ready to combat this new enemy as far away form the city as they > can. Dan: Of course, if they're dropping on the city, that's not much use. Rick: Since when have they worried about damaging the city? > Get Captain Katsuragi and Doctor Akagi here at once and prepare the city > for combat. Tsuneo: So where were they? Rebecca: Well- Tsuneo: Forget it. > Also contact the UN and notify them of this threat." says Ikari > "Yes sir." answers the bridge crew Dan [Gendo]: And get me a coffee! I can't deal with this without coffee! > "Just who and what are we dealing with?" wonders Fuyutski Dan: [Fuyutski] And will I get any more lines after this scene? > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Valhalla-3 Rick: In case you hadn't noticed the scene change. > The crew had been badly tossed around but no one had been hurt. Rebecca: I see a lot of potential whiplash lawsuits here. Dan: Of course there's always one guy who flings himself in the opposite direction to everyone else. > "Status report." says Norika Tsuneo: [Berrian] Everything's all messed up, sir. Rick: [Norika] Be specific! Tsuneo: [Berrian] The thingamajigs are broken, the watchamacallits are gone and there's junk all over the doohickies. Rick: [Norika] We really are in trouble! > "All systems are ok." replies lieutenant Berrian > "Well that's a relief." says Kisagiri Rebecca: [Kisagiri] Is it time to bitch about not listening to me? Dan: [Norika] Shut up. > "Is the Zentraedi ship anywhere near us?" asks Norika > "No sir it is on the other side of the planet." says Berrian Rick: Any minute now, they're going to notice what planet this is. > "That's good because we can't attack the Zentraedi with the ship anymore it's > our only ticket home." says Norika Dan: Why? Don't you have your own fold drive? Rebecca: [Norika] They install the fold drive on Tuesday. > "What is our current position lieutenant?" asks Kisagiri Tsuneo: [Kisagiri] I'm standing on the bridge and I'm in considerable pain, sir. > "According to our instruments we have definitely broken through the dimensional > fabric. And our exact location is earth and the year is 2015." says Lieutenant > Berrian Dan: They've got instruments to measure that? Rick: Yeah, it happens to UN Spacy ships all the time. > "Amazing, this looks nothing like the way our Earth did according to the history > records. Tsuneo: [Norika] There's more water, a big orange spot at the South Pole and it's not brown. > Have you been able to make contact with anyone on Earth yet ?" asks Norika > "No sir. We don't know there come frequencies at all." replies Lieutenant > Berrian Rebecca: Then why not just do a wide-band broadcast using the conventional communications systems people used at the end of the twentieth century? Dan: [Norika] We're too advanced for that. We've got a tin can with string! > "We must make contact somehow." says Norika Rick: [Kisagiri] How about we hold up a really big sign? Dan: [Norika] I'm beginning to hate you. Rick: [Kisagiri] Well if you'd listened to me, we wouldn't be in this mess. Dan: [Norika] Shut up. > "Captain I am detecting 30 Zentraedi Power Armor suits descending down to the > nation of Japan." says Kisagiri Rebecca: Fortunately they're descending on their own, so they'll burn up on re-entry. > "Scramble Skull squadron Dan: This ship's got Skull Squadron on board? Rick: No, everyone's got their own Skull squadron. Tsuneo: I was beginning to think it had a total crew of three. > they are to assist the Japanese military in anyway they can. Rebecca: But if there turns out to be a huge radioactive lizard down there, they're on their own. > Looks like this is how we will make contact. I want then to use the new > stealth mode so as not to cause a stir" Rebecca: Well if this is a Stargazer class ship as the intro indicated, it would be a passive stealth system not- Dan: Oh, shut up. Rebecca: All I'm saying is... Tsuneo: And they say I'm bad. Rick: Well, you are. > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Valhalla fighter bay Rick: Twelve fifty two pm. Beep. Twelve fifty three pm... > Kenshin Ichijo the leader of Skull squadron walked towards his VF-19 Valkyrie > fighter. His whole family had been fighter pilots for as long as he could > remember. In fact his relative that had started the tradition Hikaru had also > commanded Skull Squadron. Now it seemed that he had inherited it. As he was > walking he looked over at his best friend Rick Sterling who's ancestor Max had > also been in Skull Squadron. Rebecca: Uh... Hang on. Hikaru and Misa had only one child, a daughter, who vanished along with the rest of Megaroad-01 in 2015. And Max and Miriya have seven daughters, but not a single son. And it's Max Genius, not Sterling. Max Sterling is the Robotech character, not the Macross one. Tsuneo: Well said. > "You ready to bust some Zentraedi heads?" asks Rick > "Yeah just like our ancestors did, eh Rick." says Kenshin Dan [Rick]: Say, can I ask you something? Rick [Kenshin]: Go ahead. Dan [Rick]: Where have your parents and the rest of that damned ship been for the last thirty-five years? Rick [Kenshin]: Uhhhh... > "Yep just like that." Rick [Kenshin]: Yup, just like that. Dan [Rick]: Yup. Rick [Kenshin]: Indeed. Dan [Rick]: Sure. Tsuneo: And so on, and so on, and so on... > The 2 hot shot fighter pilots jumped into their fighters and powered them up. > "All fighters report in." says Kenshin > Kenshin gets an all systems go from all 12 fighters. Tsuneo: I assume this means they have other pilots. Rebecca: No, the ship has a standing crew of five. The rest of the fighters are being flung out with the vague hope they'll hit something on the way down. > The 12 VF-19 launch form > the Valhalla 3 and descend to meet the Zentraedi attackers. Dan: Is it standard practice to launch the fighters and expect them to haul half-way around the planet to intercept their targets? Rebecca: Usually not, but who knows with these people? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Just outside Tokyo-3 Dan: Snuckies! > Kensuke sat on the mountain top which over looked the area. Rick: What's Kensuke doing outside? Tsuneo: Don't worry, he brought a laptop with him. Rebecca: This reeks of bad set-up to me. > He had hacked into > his dad's computer and discovered that the Evangelions were going to be here Dan: He tried to get into his dad's porn collection while he was there. Rebecca: [Kensuke] Oh wow, they're... women! > so he decide to come and tape the action. God how much he wished he as an Eva > pilot. Rebecca: Well, given the title of this fic and the obvious set up of the situation, it seems that you're going to get your wish. Tsuneo: No! We've had one Kensuke as an EVA pilot fic here already. I'm not having another one. > It wasn't fare. Shinji who didn't even want to be a pilot was one. Well > at least he would be able to record this battle. Dan: Unless you've got a really good zoom function, you're not going to get much useful footage. Rick [Kensuke]: Well, that blurry dot over there's EVA-01, and that other one is the angel. Oh! Here's the good bit where another blurring dot vaguely does something! > Shinji sat nervously in Evangelion Unit-01. He had no idea what was going on in > fact none of the pilots did. Rick: So what else is new? Tsuneo: Even Rei? Rick: Oh. > They had spent the last hour trying to figure out why they were here. Rick: Philosophers have been agonising over that one for centuries. Don't try to think about it now. > The most that they had gotten out of Misato was that they > were there to defend against a new threat. > "Boy this is really boring and we sill don't know what we are dealing with." > remarks Asuka Tsuneo: Wait... hang on! If this is just after the 5th Angel's attack then Asuka and EVA-02 haven't arrived in Tokyo-3 yet? So what's she doing here? Rick: She's on a working holiday. Tsuneo: come to think of it, what's Rei doing out and about? Shouldn't Shinji be the only one out there? Rebecca: Tsuneo, you're thinking again. Tsuneo: Zentradi fold drives. Rebecca: Damn, caught out. > "Look." says Rei > The 3 kids look up and see 30 shiny things in the sky. Dan: Hang on, first they launch twelve power armours, now it's thirty? Rick: Some of them broke up on re-entry. > Kensuke see this as well and starts to tape it. > "All right prepare to make contact with the unidentified craft. Don't fire > unless fired upon." says Misato over the comn system. Rebecca: [Asuka] Aww, but I wanna blow something up! Rick: [Misato] Shut up, you're in Germany. > "Uhh Misato are you sure were safe sitting out in the open like this?" asks > Shinji Tsuneo: What are you meant to do, hide your EVAs? > "Of course you are." replies Misato > "How can you be sure?" asks Shinji Tsuneo: AT fields? You know, defeats all conventional weaponry? > Misato gets this vacant look Rebecca: Bad sign number one. > "Uhh well it'll take them 5 more minutes to get down there and judging by there > weapons they should not be able to shot that far." answers Misato > Right after she said that blue laser beams come down on the pilots blowing up > the terrain left and right. Dan: Good call. > Luckily them all miss the pilots. > "Good research there Misato." remarks Asuka Rebecca: [Asuka] Any more brilliant tips while you're at it? Rick: [Misato] When you go to meet Asuka, bring a spare plugsuit, Shinji. > "Ohh shut up!" shouts Misato. > The 3 Evas take out their rifles and run since another barrage of laser fire > comes down at them. > "Why are we running, shouldn't our AT-Fields protect us from there weapons?" > wonders Asuka > "We have no idea what type of effect these weapons will have on your AT-Fields Tsuneo: Well unless they've got AT fields of their own, they would be completely ineffectual. > so just keep avoiding the attacks till you can shoot back." answers Ritsuko Rebecca: Brilliant strategy, Ritsuko. Have you been taking advice from Misato? > The game of Eva dodging attacks goes on for about another minute then the 30 > Zentraedi power armors are within range. Unit-01 fires a barrage at one of the > targets and successfully destroys it. > "Good work Shinji. Now we know our weapons can hurt them. Tsuneo: And what would you do if they couldn't, since you're deployed outside the city, away from the weapons lockers? > Asuka, Rei fire back" says Misato > The 2 girls let lose a barrage which fell 2 more enemies but they are still > outnumbered badly. and the Enemy can fly. Rick: No, they were actually just plummeting all this time. > the enemy shoots back and all of the > Evas are hit but there AT-Fields protect them form the attack. Then suddenly the > AT-Fields are gone. Tsuneo: Why did that happen? Rebecca: So our two pilots in twelve VF-19s will have something to do. Tsuneo: Yes, but why did their AT fields vanish? Rick: Maybe they didn't put enough coins in the meter. > "What my AT-Field is gone." says Asuka confused Dan: Well just think: where was the last place you put it? > "Mine is as well." says Rei > "So is mine" adds Shinji "Retreat!" shouts Misato Dan: Change of plan! Leg it! > "I will not retreat Misato. If we fall then Tokyo-3 falls." says Asuka > "I'm staying to." says Shinji > "I will stay as well." says Rei Rebecca: [Asuka] What? This is meant to be my heroic last stand! Get your own! > Misato and everyone in the command center is shocked to see the pilots refusing > orders and sacrificing there lives for Tokyo-3. It has everyone completely blown > away. Rick: [Fuyutski] So where are we going to get three new EVAs on short notice? Dan: [Gendo] The second child and EVA-02 should be arriving soon. Rick: [Fuyutski] But that's her- Dan: [Gendo] Don't ask. Think happy thoughts. Keep taking your medication. > "Doctor Akagi find a way to restore the Evas AT-Fields." says Commander Ikari > "Yes." replies Doctor Akagi > On the battlefield it looks hopeless for the Eva pilots Tsuneo: But why? We've got three heavily armoured and highly-mobile giant robots against a group of lightly armoured, moderately armed opponents. Why are they so outclassed? Rick: The power armours have Mega-Damage (TM) weapons. > Kensuke sat on the mountain top recording his friends last battle most likely. Dan: [Kensuke] This is so tragic... I'm getting some great footage, though! > The enemy was simply > to powerful for them. Their Evas had become battle scared in the last 2 minutes > and they had only taken out 7 enemies in total. The 3 Evas were completely > surrounded when suddenly. Tsuneo: The sentence ended. > Kensuke sees a glint of metal coming in towards the > fight. Then he sees a large number of missiles fly towards his friends attacker > and blow them up. Rebecca: I was hoping something spontaneous yet not entirely unexpected like this would happen. > The 12 VF-19s streak over head taking out 10 of the Zentraedi power armors. > Kenshin broadcasts over an open frequency, Rick: [Kenshin] Hey, why didn't the captain think of this? Dan: [Rick] Because, in case you hadn't noticed, our captain is a complete and utter moron who shouldn't be given command of a school bus. > "We are Skull Squadron attached to > the U.N. Spacy craft Valhalla-3 we are here to help you." Rick: [Kenshin] We'd be more proud, but there are Skull Squadrons everywhere. > "Thanks." replies Misato. Rebecca: [Misato] Does anyone else here have a clue what he just said? > "Rick get those 3 mechs outa here." says Kenshin > "Roger, Skull-3 and 4 your with me." replies Max > The 3 VF 19's convert to gearwalk mode then Convert to Batroid mode to help the > Evas off the battle filed Tsuneo: How precisely? Are they going to pick them up and carry them? > while Kenshin and the other Valkyries pursue the > fleeing Zentraedi. The 3 VFs in Batroid mode carried the Evas to recovery > shoots. Dan: [Pilot] Geez, this thing weighs a frigging ton! Rebecca: Could someone please explain how a sixteen meter tall battloid is carrying a sixty meter tall Evangelion? Tsuneo: Or how they knew precisely where to drop them off? Rick: Don't you know, there's a huge sign pointing out the EVA recycling centre. > The Entire Bridge Crew was awed at what had just happened. Dan: Stupefied is more like it. Rebecca: [Ritsuko] Okay, so maybe you can change the laws of physics. > "We need some explanations." mutters Misato Rebecca: [Misato] And booze. Lots of booze. > Then Kenshin send out another general broadcast. > "The Zentraedi forces have been destroyed, Dan: [Gendo] Who? Rick: [Kenshin] The guys in the freaky green suits. Dan: [Gendo] And when did that happen? Rick: [Kenshin] We did it off-screen. > is there some place we could meet?" asks Kenshin Dan: [Gendo] I know this really nice Italian restaurant. > "Yes meet me on the outskirts of the city in 5 minutes." says Ikari Tsuneo: Oh, the "outskirts." that's really helpful. Why not point out a local landmark they can recognise? Dan: [Gendo] Okay, we'll meet by the blast crater. Tsuneo: Well *that's* helpful! > "I'll see you there." replies Kenshin > The screen goes dark. Rebecca: Five minutes? He's got to have a really fast car. Rick: I assume by "me," he means a few random underlings. > "Fuyutksi you are in command till I return. Doctor Akagi see to the pilots and > Captain Katsuragi come with me." says Ikari. Dan: [Gendo] Actually, I want to make a good impression. Misato, Ritsuko, swap jobs. > Everyone bustles off to do their tasks but they are all baffled by what they had > just seen Tsuneo: They're not the only ones. > transforming fighter with a lot of firepower. But just where the hell > were they from and how did they know who the enemy was. Dan: The other ship, and because they appeared with them? > Skull Squad is on route to the rendezvous point > "Kenshin with lost Tyler I saw his fighter crash and take out a Zentraedi ship." > says Rick Rick: Sorry, what? Could you repeat that in English? > "Damns why is it that good people die." says Kenshin > "I don't know buddy I don't know." says Max Tsuneo: Max? Who's Max? Rebecca: Did we just wander into an Evangelion/Macross/Sam and Max crossover? Tsuneo: Please no. > ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) The battlefield Dan: In case you couldn't tell by all the smoking craters. > Kensuke had recorded the entire battle it was awesome. Those new fighters were > the most amazing things he had eve seen. Tsuneo: Well, apart from enigmatic divine messengers from beyond. Rick: Yeah, but he sees those every day. > he could not believe how cool they > were. he was no longer on the mountain top he had seen one of the fighter go > down. Rebecca: [Kensuke] Maybe there'll be dead bodies and everything! And stuff I can pinch and show off to my friends! > And he was running over to see it's wreckage. When he got there he was > surprised to see no wreckage at all the fighter was in it half man, half fighter > mode on the ground. Nothing was wrong with it except the canopy was completely > shot. Dan: And that it had crash-landed, I presume. > The pilot lay on the ground in the wood next to his fighter he was full of > shards of glass. Rick: If that's the worst he got from the cockpit being shot in, he's damn lucky. Rebecca: Actually, he wasn't wearing his seatbelt, and got flung out through the windscreen. > Kensuke runs over to the pilot. He is barely alive > "Don't worry we'll get you to a hospital." says Kensuke Tsuneo: Who's "we?" > "It's to late for me, here." says the pilot he hands Kensuke his helmet and an > electronic notepad. Dan: No. > "This will tell you how to repair my fighter and use it. Fix it take it up to > the Valhalla-3 on autopilot let them know what happened to me and kill those > Zentraedi bastards." says the pilot Rebecca: No. > Those were his last words. The guys head rolls back and he slips into death's > cold embrace. Kensuke looked at the stuff he hand been give and decided he would > do as the pilot asked. Kensuke went down to the nearest bus stop he needed a > tent and some food he had a lot of work ahead of him. Tsuneo: No. Just, no. Rick: Well, at least he's not becoming an EVA pilot. Dan: So why not use your last dying gasp to radio your buddies? > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) The Outskirts > 11 VF-19's were landed on the ground awaiting the arrival of The Nerv hoverjet. > a few minutes late the VTOL craft landed amongst the 11 craft which were parked > in Gearwalk form. Rebecca: [Kenshin] I've established contact with this guy. Apparently we're waiting for Lord God Ikari, the ruler of the Earth He's coming with one of his many concubines. [Tsuneo hits her with a cushion.] > Kenshin and Rick walk up to Commander Ikari and Misato. > "Hello I am Kenshin Ichijo, commander of Skull Squadron, this is my second in > command Rick Sterling." says Kenshin Rick: [Kenshin] The rest are just nameless flunkies who don't get lines. > "I am Gendo Ikari commander of NERV. This is our operations director Misato > Katsuragi." says Gendo Dan: [Gendo] The rest are just nameless MiBs, but for your information, they're omnipotent. > "Nice to meet you we have a lot to talk about." says Kenshin Tsuneo: [Gendo] Over here, that's my tactical officer. No, higher up. > To be Continued......... Rick: [Kenshin] Well on our ship, we give hopeless morons positions of authority. Dan: [Gendo] We just make them tactical officers. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Well it's done hope you guys like it. Don't have much to say except the next > part will be awhile since I have to work on What The Hell, Eva4047,The EvaLeSs > OAV and SDAT clash. Tsuneo: I think there's too few sentences here. > So it will be awhile I just had to start to fic. It won't be > a long 3 to 4 parts I believe. Dan: "It won't be long, only 3 or 4 parts?" Or, "it won't be 3 or 4 long parts?" Or- Aargh, I've gone blind! > E-mail me with C&C a Eva_Unit_12@hotmail.com. See you on the flipside [The TV switches off] Rick: Well that was an unexpected turn of events. Tsuneo: Why Voice, why? Was there a reason for this, or did you just decide to hit us with a Macross/Evangelion crossover with the potential of Kensuke becoming the starring character for the fun of it? Voice: Um, I just want a review of it, that's all. Rebecca: Shall I? Voice: That is, after the second chapter. Rick: Damn. Dan: Second chapter? I can hardly wait. Not. Rebecca: There is a more important thing on my mind; if D&D made it to a movie, who's to say other RPGs won't. Rick: Well, we could have Rifts: The movie, featuring a bunch of full- conversion borgs in robots who spend their spare time nuking whole cities and talking about the size of their... railguns. Dan: And half the fights are shout-down matches over main body MDC numbers and dice of damage. Tsuneo: They could do a Vampire: The Masquerade movie, which would be... Well, just like Interview with a Vampire, really. Rebecca: there could be a Champions: New Millennium movie, but that would be on the video shelf only Dan looks at. Dan: And just what do you mean by that? [The screen goes blank] Rebecca: Dan, next time you ask a girl out, the local "grunt and thrust" isn't a good venue for the date. Dan: It isn't? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@elmerstudios.com) & Jinas (jinas@elmerstudios.com) Dan and Tsuneo Tateo are copyright 1999-2001 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1999-2001 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.elmerstudios.com All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, and the Satellite of Rednecks in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm Fighters Anthology .lib and mission files, utterly disturbing Nova Satori shrine, the AntiKevs and Fanfic Carp, all in one big steaming pile. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Then open fire when we are in firing range."