Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's episode 114 and time for more of A Wish Come True, starring the amazing Kensuke! [Bored] Yay. Evangelion is copyright Gainax. Macross is copyright Bandai/Big West. A Wish Come True is copyright Eva_Unit_12@hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk, home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette.] [Rick and Dan enter, talking. Dan is carrying a tattered clipboard] Dan: So, Rick, what do you think of my idea? Rick: Well, it's a sound idea all right, but there's one slight flaw in the plan. Dan: Being? Rick: Well, if you're going to write and draw your own webcomic, some artistic talent might help. Dan: Oh come on, Rick, you saw my portfolio. Tell me that isn't some awesome stuff right there. Rick: Dan, that was a collection of stick figures, and very wonky ones at that. I mean, look, you've even done a stick figure with breasts. Dan: That's a supermodel. Rick: But still... Dan: Yeah, well... I'll label it as a post-modernist webcomic then. Rick: That's not going to work. Dan: It's stylistic. Rick: I don't think that'll work either. Dan: It's my rebellion against the system through my expression of the medium! Rick: Uh, what did you just say? Dan: ...I have no idea. [Rebecca enters] Rebecca: What are you two morons on about? Dan: I wanna do my own webcomic, but Rick won't let me. Rick: That's only because he can't actually draw anything. Dan: See? He's picking on me. Rebecca: Dan, give it up. The last thing we need is another on-line pile of doggy doo featuring gratuitous, badly-drawn naked women. Dan: Hey! She's stealing my idea. Rebecca: Case proven. Rick: Guilty as charged. [Tsuneo enters] Tsuneo: Hi there. Dan: Oh, hey. You wanna see my portfolio? Tsuneo: I, er, think I'll pass on that. Dan: ... Rick: See? Rebecca: See? Dan: Oh, shut up. Voice: Good morning, all. Rebecca: And good morning to you, Mad Dr Nesbitt. Voice: I don't get it. Dan: Of course, I'd still need something to write it about... Rick: Oh, forget it already. Voice, can you give us the fic now? Voice: ...what? Rebecca: Come on, hurry up before he can lay more of his "genius" on us. Voice: But I haven't even told you what it is! Tsuneo: We don't care! Voice: Okay, but you asked for it. [They sit - Dan and Rick facing the TV, Tsuneo and Rebecca on the sideways couch.] Dan: I could put you guys in it. Others: Shut up! [The TV switches on.] > Well I am back again writing my fic A Wish Come True I Hope you all enjoyed the > last part I had a great time writing it. All: Breathe! > Thanks to all my friends for helping me > with all my other projects especially Anthony Dantuono and Kaoru Nagisa. Read > their series A World Twisted and EvaLeSs. Tsuneo: Didn't someone else suffer under that fic? Rebecca: Fortunately not us. > Anthony also wrote the saga continues so check it out. Dan: Featuring Anthony, the amazing falling-over man with the same name as the authour! > Also thanks to everyone that has helped me out with my other > Series A-I-Bus and Doctor Suekeichi Kaiton read their stories as well. Rick: Doctor of what, precisely? > Also > check out Alain Gravel's the one I love is and All of Axel Terizaki's fics. Tsuneo: A bit indecisive, aren't we? Dan: I think they're meant to be different titles. Tsuneo: A bit of punctuation wouldn't go astray. > Everyone insert the usual disclaimer. Rick: Now that I've finished listing every Evangelion fanfic in existence... > All of the new characters in this are mine > the rest aren't. Don't own Macross or Evangelion. Just write them. There will be > a lot more of Kensuke in this one for all you Kensuke fans. Rebecca: Both of you. Tsuneo: Kensuke has fans? > Now on with the story > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > A Wish Come True Chapter 2 > " I understand that we have a lot to talk about Mr. Ichijo would you and your > second in command please step inside my VTOL. Tsuneo: [Gendo] It is not a death trap at all. Honest. Rebecca: Put down the futuristic space-ray zorcher and step away from the VTOL. > There is a secure place where we can talk." said Gendo Rick: Gendo's swinging pad. Dan: [Gendo] I just had the place redecorated in 60's decor with a multi-cultural religious imagery theme. Just don't ask about the lava lamp. > The 4 people walked into the NERV VTOL aircraft > "Thank you for your time commander." said Kenshin Tsuneo: Is now a good time to review the new characters? Rebecca: Not that they're actually characters, just random names. > "No problem lieutenant. Now what is it you wish to discuss?" asked Ikari Dan: [Kenshin] How do we get home? > "Well I am here to explain our presence in you universe and the assistance we > will offer you." said Kenshin Tsuneo: [Gendo] I have three sixty-meter tall giant robots of unspeakable power, an international conspiracy on my side and an army of MiBs. I don't think I need your help. Rick: [Kenshin] What about those vanishing AT fields? Tsuneo: [Gendo] We're still working on that one. > "That is most Generous of your Captain Mr. Kenshin." said Ikari > "We offer you as much assistance as we can in dealing with the Zentraedi threat > which you now have. Tsuneo: [Gendo] Your problem, not ours. > We arrived here through a tear is space and time which was > created by the Zentraedi fold drives and now we are here. Dan: He makes it sound like this happens all the time. Rick: [Kenshin] Why, just last week we accidentally popped into El Hazard, although we did have a nice holiday there. > Unfortunately we can't > engage the Zentraedi ship in orbit an they can't engage us because the big ships > are our ticket home. Rebecca: So what's to stop the Zentradi from blasting you? Rick: Because their lumpy mutant pickle may not actually have a big gun. Rebecca: It's got lots of smaller guns. > And we need to capture the Zentraedi ship since it is > responsible in bringing us here." said Kenshin Tsuneo: Actually, the captain's idiotic decision to imbed the ship in its hull might have had something to do with it > "We also have information about the Zentraedi and there weapon systems. We > noticed that you had Mecha units Rick: [Kenshin] Damned silly looking things they were. Dan: [Gendo] This from the guy who's fighting with walking eggs? > and we have some weapons schematics which may > help you to destroy the Zentraedi and any other threat you encounter." added Max Dan: [Gendo] Does that include giant enigmatic invaders from beyond? Rick: [Kenshin] Um... maybe not. > "Your help is greatly appreciated since you have helped us out this much it is > only fair to explain to you the reason our Mechs were created Tsuneo: So complete strangers get a better briefing than trusted employees? > and some of there > defensive and offensive weaponry. I will allow Major Katsuragi to explain the > creation of the Evangelions to you." said Ikari Rebecca: [Misato] Why do I get the hard jobs? Dan: [Gendo] Because I'm the boss and I say so. > " Very well the Evas were created to....." Rebecca: [Misato] Boss, how much am I meant to tell them? Dan: [Gendo] Tell them all you know. Rebecca: [Misato] Gee, thanks. That concludes the briefing. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) In the woods > Kensuke had just barely arrived back from his house he had all the tools he > would need to repair the ship he hoped. Dan: Well what do you know, you can repair a VF-19 with only a hacksaw, some wood glue and a phillips-head screwdriver. > He went to work. He used the repair > manual given to him be the now deceased pilot to show him how to fix the ship. Rick: [Kensuke] Insert tab A into slot B, then realign the reactor core with the main coolant assembly... Oh, and fold on the dotted line. Tsuneo: I hope he's using appropriate safety gear. Rebecca: It's okay, he's got gloves. > He connected the wielder he had to the ships power source. Tsuneo: Whoah, you're fixing it while it's *switched on?* Dan: Don't worry, he's wearing rubber footwear. > He saw the saw the damaged Canopy and set to work. Dan: [Kensuke] Now all I need is a few sheets of transparent armour and an industrial press to shape them. Hmm... > He used to welder to heat the metal frame and > Kensuke knocked the frame all back into shape. Tsuneo: So he's fixing a highly complicated piece of equipment with a sledgehammer? Rick: No, it's a rock he found in the field. Rebecca: Just so long as he's using the proper equipment. > He tested the frame and found out it was not sturdy at all Dan: It kinda got blown up, and no amount of chewing gum will help. > and would not be able to withstand the pressure of space travel. Tsuneo: Because Kensuke knows all about spacecraft engineering. > Kensuke then got the metal garters that he had taken from his > dad's work. He could not tell what type of Metal the garters were made out off. > Since his dad worked at Nerv they could be some low grade Eva pats or rejects > anyway they should do the trick. Rick: [Kensuke] Hey dad, I'm, just going to take some bits from the back garden. Tsuneo: What does his dad keep around, weapons-grade plutonium? Dan: [Kensuke's dad] Don't take the glowing green stuff. Rick: [Kensuke] But dad, I need it for a school project. > Kensuke spent about 3 hours welding the metal > garters into the same shape as the canopy ones. Rebecca: Fortunately he had access to proper scientific measures, so they were accurate down to the micrometer. > He was just lucky that both of the metals seemed to be weightless Tsuneo: Which is why they floated off into the stratosphere. Rebecca: No, that's just Kensuke's medication *finally* taking effect. > or else he would not have been able to repair the craft at all Dan: Despite all the other insurmountable difficulties. > Now that he had the cockpit frame built all he needed was to > get the plasteel sheets or whatever the pilot had called them from the storage > compartment. Tsuneo: These things carry spare parts? Rick: Yeah, they've got a storage compartment that contains a few plasteel sheets, a spare tire and a backup nuclear core. > Kensuke looked at the pad. Which explained how to reattach the > plastel pieces. Dan: All you need is a number 43 plasteel fusion molecular bonding unit. Rick: I, er, don't have one. Dan: So what do you have? Rick: Craft glue? Dan: Close enough. > Kensuke set to work and after about a whole days worth of work > the Canopy was repaired. Kensuke got the spare flight suit and helmet from the > storage compartment. Tsuneo: Just how much junk is in this storage compartment? Rebecca: Hey, is that Harold Holt back there? > He had the explanations on how to fly this thing but he was > not sure he could fly the thing. Rebecca: It's an incredibly complicated aircraft that is considered a challenge for even the best pilots to master. I'd love to see him try. The explosion could be pretty. > "Ok now how do we get this thing of the ground." said Kensuke > Kensuke looked down at the pad that the pilot had given him. Dan: [Kensuke] I just realised I've been reading it all upside-down! > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) > Kenshin and Rick had been in the VTOL for awhile sharing histories and > information about there worlds for hours. Dan: This is one hell of a caption. > Nerv pledged to help the Valhalla and > her crew battle the Zentraedi and get home any way they could. Rick: [Gendo] We're going to send you express courier. Given what they did to my last three parcels, it'll get you home. > In turn Kenshin has pledged his ships help in battling the Angels. Rebecca: And just how much good is that going to do? Tsuneo: [Kenshin] Well, when their AT fields spontaneously vanish... Rebecca: Oh, forget it. > They had been discussing > terms and exchanging knowledge but the main part of the discussion was on how to > make the Evangelion AT-Fields immune to the Zentraedi weapons. Tsuneo: They didn't vanish? So why didn't they stop the Zentradi weapons? Rick: Because it's Mega-Damage (TM)! > So far nothing they could think of could explain it. Tsuneo: Because - it's - stupid! Rebecca: Cool it, that little vein on your forehead is bulging again. Rick: Actually, it's because Aoba accidentally hit the secret "AT Off/On" switch on the console. Dan: Why'd he do that? Rick: He was reaching for the mysterious button labelled de-gauss. > Kenshin had then suggested that the > Valhalla's science officer come down and meet with Doctor Akagi to discuss it. Rebecca: Because of their extensive experience with AT fields! > The rest of the meeting was spend discussing the Valhalla's situation and the > history of the Zentraedi. The discussion was going to continue since they had > barely began comparing the Zentraedi to the Angels. Dan: [Gendo] There are none, thank you. Rick: The Protodevlin, on the other hand... > "Kenshin come in." said Lieutenant Kiran Ozaki Tsuneo: Whoah! What just happened? Rick: I figure we had a spontaneous scene change, complete with random new character without even the benefit of a caption. > "Excuse me a moment commander." said Kenshin > "By all means Mr. Ichijo." said Gendo Rick: Or maybe not. I'm confused. > Kenshin got up and walked to the corner of the room Dan: Now go and stand in the corner until you get a personality. > "I'm here." said Kenshin > "We just got a signal from the Valhalla a large force of Zentraedi are heading > to intercept them right now." said Kiran Rebecca: That's nice. Now who are you? > "All right power up the fighters I want you guys up there now Rick and I will be > along shortly." said Kenshin Dan: [Gendo] Excuse me, Is there any point in us Evangelion characters being in this fic? No? Just wondering. > Kenshin walked back to the meeting table > "I'm afraid I must go commander I will return but the Zentraedi are about to > attack the Valhalla and since I am the commander of the ships elite fighter > squadron we need to be there. Good day Commander." said Kenshin Tsuneo: And all in the one breath, too. Well done! > "I understand. I look forward to speaking to you again. Good day." said Gendo > Kenshin and Rick rushed out of the room got into there VF-19's and they were on > there way the join the rest of Skull Squadron > "We are going to need al the help we can get on this one aren't we?" asked Rick > "Oh Yes we are." said Kenshin Dan: [Rick] You got that right. Rick: [Kenshin] No doubt about it. Dan: [Rick] Absolutely. Rick: [Kenshin] Sure thing, buddy. > "Damn we really could use Tyler then couldn't we." said Rick > "Yes we could Dan: [Rick] You got that right. Rick: [Kenshin] No doubt abou- [Rebecca menaces him with a cushion] Uh, never mind. > but we can mourn dead comrades later right now it's time to stop > anymore from dying." said Kenshin > The 2 Valkyries shot into space at full speed quickly catching up with the rest > of their squadron. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) The VTOL > Major Katsuragi had observed the whole conversation with Kenshin she did not > like it one bit the commander had been way to nice she was going to have to > watch out on this one. Rebecca: And all her thoughts began to run together which was really annoying because first she'd be thinking one thing then something completely unrelated and everything got confused since she was- [Tsuneo whacks her with a cushion] Rick: I think we've had enough of those. Dan: You got that right. Rick: Sure thing, buddy. Dan: Absolutely. Tsuneo: [Waving cushion] Don't tempt me. > She would have to speak with Kenshin privately and warn > him of the commanders tendency to betray his friends. Tsuneo: That he's displayed how many times in the past four episodes? > Major Katsuragi took a seat as the VTOL took off and returned to NERV Dan: I call dibs on the window seat. Rick: Dibs! Rebecca: Dibs! Dan: Damn. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) The Woods Dan: Something to do with all the trees. > Kensuke sat in the cockpit of the Valkyrie. Rick: [Kensuke] Now all I need to do is find the "on" switch... > He had gotten the ship up and > running. The ship was powered and ready to go. except he could not figure out > how to get it off the ground. He understood how to fly the ship since he had > played so many of the flight sim games. Tsuneo: So because you play flight sims, you can fly an aircraft, right? Dan: Don't you know, every aircraft is controlled by a joystick and a Qwerty keyboard. Rick: [Kensuke] So how do you enter the invulnerability cheat? > He could recognize the flight stick what the throttle was and all that. Rebecca: Actually, the VF-19 has a combined flightstick/throttle. Dan: He's screwed. > the only thing that had him completely baffled was the transformation. Rebecca: Apart from possibly communications. And operating the radar. And navigation. And the life-support system. And the ILS. And the foot pedals for the thust vectoring. And basic aviation, for that matter. Rick: So Kensuke, have you ever flown before? Dan: [Kensuke] I've thrown paper airplanes around. > Then he heard signal. Over the communication system. Dan: Did he actually switch it on? Rick: Nah, he knocked it while looking for the glove box. > "This is the Valhalla3 to skull squadron we need you up here boys a large group > of Zentraedi power armors and battle pods are heading our way we need you now." Rebecca: Just to reiterate the point, we need you now. > Zentraedi thought Kensuke so that was the name of the people who tried to kill > his friends. Kensuke puts his arm down on a lever and rest his head on top of > it. Dan: What's he doing? Rick: Taking a quick nap? > The weight from his head knock his arm off and it hits a button. lights > flash and it says engine restart activated. Tsuneo: "Engine restart activated?" Rebecca: Yeah, he activated the thing to start restarting the engine. Tsuneo: Care to be more redundant, fic? > Next thing he knew the Fighter was hovering off the ground. Dan: And surprisingly enough, not careening into the nearest tree. > Great just how was he going to move this thing. An now > he knew the throttle. Rick: [Kensuke] Hi throttle, my name's Kensuke! > He hit the throttle and the engines flared lifting the > VF-19 in gearwalk from the ground. Tsuneo: Okay, we've figured "up." Can we figure "stop going up?" > "This is so cool. These things are even cooler then Evas!" Rebecca: [Kensuke] Not only do they change shape, but they don't run off on their own to eat things! Dan: They do crash, though. Especially how he's flying. > exclaimed Kensuke > Now how was he going to make it move forward. He pushed forward on the control > handle. The jet shot forward. He was hovering over the trees. > "Wo ho!" screamed Kensuke > Kensuke went the hit the throttle lever but he accidentally hit another lever. > The ship moved. the next thing Kensuke knew he was in the belly of the fighter > and it was a huge giant robot with a gun in its hand > "This is way cool way till I tell Shinji and Touji about this." said Kensuke Dan: [Kensuke] Hey guys! I get to fly a plane that turns into a giant robot! Tsuneo: [Shinji] So what? > He hit the lever again and he was in a fast moving fighter jet. he then > remembered that there were people that needed his help. Rick: I'd love to know how a complete amateur who can't even operate his machine is meant to help experienced pilots with extensive training. > But how could he someone with no combat experience or training help them. Dan: Didn't we just ask that? Tsuneo: [Kensuke] Hah! I can use my l337 ha}{or skillz and own}{or them! Rick: How precisely? Tsuneo: [Kensuke] Um... cheat codes? Rebecca: Tsuneo, do you realise what you just said? Tsuneo: ...help me. > He admires Shinji and the other > Eva pilots. Shinji had gone into battle without any training. Dan: Only because there wasn't anyone else. And he didn't have to handle space combat. > Besides he had flown similar things in the arcades it was not to hard. Rick: Kensuke, there's a world of difference. For starters, you can't just insert another coin and try again. > He had also played may > Mech simulations also. He could do it. He had to do it. H promised he would > report the pilots death and what exactly had happened. he would not fall. > Kensuke brought the fighter around in a hard turn and it sped off towards outer > space. Dan: Can't you use the radio for that? Rebecca: Okay, so he can transform the plane and fly it, but he can't use the radio. Yeah, right. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Valhalla-3 > A glaug officers pod exploded as Rick Sterling's barrage of fire hits it. Tsuneo: He shot it so hard, it changed tense. > Moments later Rick occupied the space where the pod was. All round him guns were > firing. Rick flew in close to the Valhalla to give it some help. 2 Zentraedi > male power armors landed on the ship and were shooting at the Mac 2 Destroids. Rebecca: Actually, the Valhalla-3 would be too small to carry MAC IIs. That's okay, because they'd been retired long before then. Of course, the Macross name is an HWR-00 Mk II Monster and not a MAC II, so it's kind of pointless. > Rick launched a barrage of missiles and the suits exploded. Rick: Well that was easy. > "Nice shooting." said Kiran Dan: [Rick] I just held down the fire button until the bar filled up. > then the speakers go blank as Koran's VF-19 is only a ball of fire. Tsuneo: Good thing Kiran's still safe then... Whoever he is. > "Damn we lost another one." said Kenshin. > "I'm not sure we are going to make it through this one Kenshin. We have > everything out here from VF-1x's to our VF-19's and we are still losing." said > Rick Dan: Say, is there any reason why such an advanced ship as this one is carrying such an old fighter as a VF-1X? Rebecca: So he can inexpertly drop a few more names and try to explain the diversity of fighters in VF-X? > "Its only because they outnumber us. We need to find away to draw them away form > the ship. We can beat them at long range and close range attacks. except at > close range their numbers mater." said Kenshin Tsuneo: So then you *can't* beat them at close range, can you? > "So what is your plane?." asked Rick Rebecca: [Kenshin] A VF-19, same as you. > "We draw them away from the battle by heading toward there mother ship." said > Kenshin Dan: They've got more mecha there and can bring their ship-mounted weapons to bear, but what the hey? > "Sounds good to me. Rick: [Kenshin] Yep. Dan: [Rick] Good plan. Rick: [Kenshin] Sure is. Dan: [Rick] Yes sir. Tsuneo: Hurt them? Rebecca: Sure thing. Rick: Sorry. > Skull Squadron form up on me we are going to try to lead > some of the Zentraedi away from the battle." Tsuneo: [Rick] We're going to fly away from the ship and leave it defenceless. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Bridge of the Valhalla-3 > "Report lieutenant." shouted Captain Norika > "The fight is not going good Captain all of the VF-1X squadrons accept for one > have been destroyed." said lieutenant Berrian Tsuneo: That other squad is out on lunch break. > "We need a plan and quickly. We under estimated the strength of the attack the > Zentraedi would launch and now were screwed." said Norika Rebecca: [Kisagiri] Any more brilliant plans to get us all killed, captain? Dan [Norika]: Shut up before I demote you. > "Captain I just got a report from lieutenant Ichijo. Rebecca [Kisagiri]: He says he's screwed and it's all your fault. Dan [Norika]: Okay, I get the picture. > He is going to try to lead > the Zentraedi away. Then we can open up with long range weapons and fighters can > use there long range missiles." said lieutenant Kisagiri Rick: Stupid question, but wouldn't it be standard procedure to use all the long range missiles to try and destroy the incoming enemy fighters before they can engage? Rebecca: Yes it is. Rick: Just wondering. > "Tell lieutenant Ichijo to draw them un front of the craft we will use the main > gun on them." said Norika > "Aye sir." said Kisagiri Rebecca: A good plan, except for the fact that a ship this size wouldn't have that kind of a gun. Dan: So... They're stuffed, right? > "Sir," said Berrian. "Lieutenant Ichijo has not implemented his plan yet and a > 30 Zentraedi battle pad Dan: Zentraedi Battle Pad? Rick: Breetai hung out there during the sixties. > have broken off there attack and are returning to there > ship. > "Any idea why lieutenant?" asked Norika > "I am detecting a lone VF-19 near the Zentraedi ship. Tsuneo: He came out of the west, a mecha at his command, a gun pod at his hip and thick glasses on his nose. He was Kensuke Aida, the lone VF-19. > the VF-19's signal tell me > it belong to flight officer Tyler." said Berrian Rick: Uuuh... care to repeat that in English? > "Contact Tyler find out just what the hell he thinks he's doing." said Kisagiri > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Zentraedi Ship. Rick: I never would have guessed. > Kensuke was close to the ship. Unfortunately for him it was the wrong ship. Rebecca: Well, that's a mistake he'll never make again. Dan: At this rate, he probably won't make any mistakes again. > "Shit!" shouted Kensuke > "Lieutenant Tyler, just what in the hell do you think you are doing." said a > voice over the comn system > "Tyler is dead. Tsuneo: Now only Vader remains. > My name is Kensuke Aida. Rick: [Kenshin] Hey, isn't he the one Supreme God Gendo warned us about? Dan: [Rick] Sure is. Rick: [Kenshin] Uh-huh. Dan: [Rick] You got that right. Rick: [Kenshin] Okay. Dan: [Rick] Indeed. [Rebecca and Tsuneo leap on them and pummel them senseless with cushions] > He asked me to return this fighter to > you. It was his last wish." said Kensuke > Lieutenant Berrian was shocked to hear this Dan: What, that Tyler handed his fighter over to a 14 year old nerd, or that said nerd has managed to get it airworthy again and fly it up into space? > "Captain we have a problem the pilot of the fighter is a civilian from earth." > said Berrian Rebecca: Not to worry. 67% of Macross plots start this way. > "Just how in the hell did he get Tyler's' access codes then!" shouted Norika Dan: Actually, he didn't. Kensuke broke into the VF-19 with a bent coat hanger. > The Valhalla-3 lurched and the captain stumbled around the bridge > "Captain I have an idea. Tsuneo [Kisagiri]: We turn this into a "Reality TV" program. Dan [Norika]: You're not helping. Tsuneo [Kisagiri]: Well I'm not the one who got us into this mess. Dan [Norika]: That does it. Go stand in the corner. > If we can get lieutenant Kenshin's force over to the > Zentraedi ship they may be able to lure most of the attacking craft away." sais > Kisagiri Rebecca: Uuuhhh... Didn't we just cover this in the last scene? Dan: No, the last scene was Norika and Kisagiri talking on the bridge of the Valhalla-3. This time it's Norika and Kisagiri talking near the Zentraedi ship. Rebecca: Well thanks for muddying the waters a bit, Dan. Dan: No problem. > "Good plan lieutenant have Kenshin;s force engage the 30 ship returning to there > craft then I want them to engage the Zentraedi ship and to draw as many ships > away as they can." said Captain Norika Rick: Uh, care to run that one by us again in English? Tsuneo: It's simple. They're going to attack the enemy they're already attacking until the enemy get back to their ship, whereupon they stop that and attack the ship. Rick: Uh-huh. I think I liked it better the first time round. > "What about Kensuke the civilian." said Berrian Dan: What about him? Rick: Let's leave him there. > "Order Rick Sterling to meet up with him they will start the attack on the > Zentraedi ship." said Norika > "Sir do we have the right to put a civilian in danger." said Berrian Dan: No, but let's do it anyway! Tsuneo: I don't think common sense has impaired this crew thus far. > "This is a kill or be killed situation lieutenant and we need all the help we > can get. That includes every fighter." said Norika Rebecca: And remember, when everything goes wrong, Kensuke gets killed and the ship is destroyed, you can point out that this was also the captain's idea. > "Yes sir I am transmitting the orders now." said Berrian as the Valhalla-03 > lurched under fire once again. Dan: This is the point where a panel blows out for no reason and kills a nameless ensign, right? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Zentraedi ship Rick: Its just gone eight o'clock, and it's three minutes till the big green thing. > Kensuke had received his orders and now he was just waiting for his wingman to > arrive. off in the distance he could se brilliant flashes of light as a battle > raged. > Rick had to get to Kensuke but the but the battle pods were in his wait > preventing him form getting through. They had jumped on the skull right after > they had received there orders. Mac fired another barrage of Missiles and took > out 3 more battle pods. Dan: Mac? Who's Mac? Rick: I'll vote for throwaway character. Dan: [Rick] Good point there. Rick: [Kenshin] Yep. Dan: [Rick] Sure is. Rick: [Kenshin] Got that right. Rebecca: Do I have to kill you two? Dan: Nope. Rick: Not really. Dan: [Rick] He's right. Rick: [Kenshin] Got it. Rebecca: Fine. [She and Tsuneo pummel them senseless with cushions agian] Dan: Hey! no fair using the zipper side. > "Rick my friend I have bad news we have more Zentraedi ships closing on us in > fact all of them Rick: All one of them, right? Dan: Yes, but they're closing in from all sides. Tsuneo: You two recovered fast. Rebecca [Muttered] No brain, no pain. > and The captain had ordered the rest of the fighters to > return." said Kenshin > "But that's suicide said Kenshin that's like 80 battle pod and 20 power armors > for us to deal with. And what there are only ten of us left!" Shouted Rick Rick: Oh come on, all you need is an incredible kill ratio. It's not hard. > "We need to punch a hole in the battle pods that are surrounding us then we need > to execute a fold using the fold drives. Rebecca: Well... obviously. What were you thinking of using? Rick: A plot hole. > To destination is the moon. Tsuneo: How do they plan on getting there? Rick: By a flying Albert Memorial? Tsuneo: Well that makes about as much sense as anything else in this fic, I suppose. > All except > for you and me that is we are to proceed and meet up with Kensuke so that the > Zentraedi force will still follow us. once they have been eliminated by the > Valhalla we are to meet up with the rest of the Skulls and await refueling" said > Kenshin [Pause] Dan: Did any of that make any sense to anyone here? Rebecca: No. Dan: Good. I was worried that I was loosing my mind. > "This is insane!" exclaimed Rick All: Tell us about it. > "I know it is. All skull fighters launch missiles we need to get out of here." a > barrage of over a hundred missiles leapt out at the Zentraedi and destroyed all > of the remaining battle pods. Rick: Where'd they get all the missiles from? If this dogfight was that bad, you'd think they'd have used them up by now. > * of the Skull fighters made the fold jump Rebecca: I guess I should point out that the Fold Pod is an extra device that the VF-19 almost never carries, as it can't transform until the pod is jettisoned. So they almost certainly wouldn't be carrying them in a combat situation like this. Tsuneo: That was important and needed to be said. Now shut up. > and the > other 2 proceeded at high sped to the Zentraedi ship with a hundred other > following them. > --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Zentraedi Ship Dan: Weren't we just there? Rick: Yes, we transitioned to the same scene. Dan: Oh. > Kensuke sat drifting in the fighter. Rebecca: Guess who burnt up all his fuel messing around. > Suddenly an alarm sounded. Kensuke looked > on the scope and saw 2 ships moving towards him > "Oh shit." said Kensuke Rick: You what your language, Kensuke. There's, well, you present. > "What's the matter." said Kenshin's voice over the comn system > "I have to craft closing on me." said Kensuke > "Rick and I won't be there for awhile your going to have to do your best Kenshin > out." said Kenshin Rebecca: You are so screwed. Dan: What's the chances of a complete amateur video game nerd mastering a complex fighter and being able to deal with two opponents at once? Tsuneo: With how this story's going, getting better all the time. > Great he was on his own. He knew how to use the weapons and all that but he was > scared. The @ power armors came flying towards Kensuke. Dan: How many is @? Rick: Half of $. > They opened fire just as > Kensuke powered up the engines and moved out of the way. The 2 Zentraedi got in > behind and fired at him Kensuke bobbed an weaved he avoided all of their fire. > But how was he going to get them off his tail. Then Kensuke got an idea it was > time he used the transformation powers of the fighter. Rebecca: Transformation powers? Dan: Don't you know? It's the special attack that you can do only when the opponent is damaged enough in the final round. You have to hit the right combo, but if you do and he doesn't block you, the opponent is instantly killed in a speccy display of all three modes. Tsuneo: Simon is Kensuke? Now that makes a disturbing amount of sense. > Kensuke began to climb > and to do a 180. As he did that he hit the switch which changed him into Batroid > mode. He got a lock on the targets and fired on them. The 2 power armors > exploded. Rick: He totally 0wnzerd them. > "Wo ho!" shouted Kensuke > "That was some fancy flying. some of the pilots on our ship cant; even do that." > said Kenshin Rebecca: Untrained pilot... outdoing pros... first outing... someone please, shoot me now. Tsuneo: This is like an Author Avatar in action, except with a cannon character. Great. Rick: Maybe the authour identifies with Kensuke. Tsuneo: That's even worse. > "Great job." Dan: [Rick] Indee- [Rebecca grabs the coffee table and waves it menacingly over Dan's head] Er, never mind. > "Valhalla what is the status of the Zentraedi craft? asked Kenshin > "They are waiting just outside our long range weapons range. They appear to be > waiting to see what you will do." > "Well let's give them an answer!" shouted Rick Dan: Instead, they ended up with a long-running court battle. > "Rick Kensuke listen we are going in and we are going in hot. Rick: Considered turning up the air conditioning then? > We are to strafe > everything on that ship use guns missiles everything. Rebecca: Yes, you're really going to do a lot that way. > I'll take point Kensuke > and Rick follow me in." > "Yes sir." said both of them in unison Dan [Rick]: Twenty says the new guy buys it. Rick [Kenshin]: You're on. Dan [Rick]: You got that. [Pause] Dan: Rick? Rick: No way, I'm not getting smacked down by Tsuneo again. > The 3 VF-19 went to maximum acceleration. The Zentraedi weapons could not get a > lock on them. The 3 pulled into position ad let everything they had rip as they > strafed the Zentraedi ship. Dan: Keep going! There's only another couple of hundred thousand MDC left! > Soon the 100 hundred Zentraedi fighter Tsuneo: Ten thousand fighters? Rebecca: Well the authour did say that it was a big ship... > flew towards > there home ship. Since all of the launch bay had been damaged in the strafing > run. Rebecca: I'd like to know how they managed to cripple *every* launch bay on such a large ship so easily. Even the smallest ships have lots of them. > The 100 fighters. > then were hit by the Valhalla-3's main canon and > vaporized. Dan: Well that was certainly an exciting climax to the scene. > "Excellent Job, Rick and Kensuke move to the rendezvous point and await the > refueling shuttles. Once you are refueled your next mission is to escort Our > chief Science officer. Rebecca: Just out of casual interest, do they get to re-arm themselves or are they going to fight off any attackers with pointed sticks? > Akira Tenaba to the surface. And Mr. Kensuke our ranks > have been thinned and your flying impressed me therefore I am offering you a > temporary position on this ship until we leave earth space. Do you accept?" Tsuneo [Kensuke]: Only if you promise to teach me how to talk without breathing, like you did just then. > asked Norika > "I do." answerd Kensuke. > "Very well Kensuke you are hearby given the rank of Flight Officer Rebecca: Great. He's a nerd with authority now. > congratulations. Kenshin you are hearby promoted form the Rank of lieutenant to > the rank of Captain you are now in charge of the Valhalla's fighter squadrons. Dan: On the downside, there's only the three of them left. > Rick you are hearby promoted to the rank of lieutenant commander. Rebecca: Of course, if he was the ship's CAG, he'd probably already be a Lieutenant Commander. Rick: Well, he promoted him to the same rank. Dan [Rick]: Does this give me the authority to tell you how much of a moron you are, sir? > Good Job all > of you see you later." said Norika > The 3 fighters sped off in the direction of the moon All [Singing]: Fry me to the moon, and ret me pray among the stars... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > (Caption) Nerv HQ Dan: Gendo's happening pad. > Kenshin. Tsuneo: Kenshin what? Rebecca: Nothing. The authour just likes saying Kenshin, that's all. > Rick and Kensuke in the control center of Nerv while Doctors Akagi and > Akira worked on the Eva AT-Field problem. Dan [Akira]: One question before we begin. Rebecca [Ritsuko]: Ask away. Dan [Akira]: What's an AT field? Rebecca [Ritsuko]: You're not cleared for that. > Then Shinji walked on to the bridge. Dan: Hey, since when was Shinji allowed into the Really Big Room? Rick: I don't think he's got anything else better to do right now. > "Kensuke you fly one of those fighters now." said Shinji > "Yeah I do I also have a rank flight officer Kensuke. Rebecca: Hang on, Shinji doesn't actually have any military rank, does he? Tsuneo: Uh... no. Rebecca: So then... he's now outranked by Kensuke, right? Tsuneo: Right. Rebecca: How humiliating. > Let me introduce you to my > CO's. Captain Kenshin Ichijo and Lieutenant Commander Rick Sterling" said > Kensuke > "Thanks for saving me, Asuka and Rei before we owe you that." said Shinji > "It was our pleasure." said Kenshin Dan [Rick]: So there. Nyaaa. Rick [Kenshin]: Face it, you would have gotten your butts whupped if not for us. Dan [Rick]: You got that right. [Rebecca violently beats him with a cushion] Rick: Sucker. Dan: Hey! No fair! > Suddenly an alarm sounded. > "Magi have detected something." said Shigeru > "It's confirmed blood type blue it's the next Angel." Tsuneo: And, at last, here's Ramiel! Dan [Ramiel]: Sorry I'm late, guys. Rick: Late? I'll say! Asuka's already here and they've already bumped off the 6th Angel. > "Prepare Evas for launch." said Ikari > Shinji ran to get into his Eva and Kensuke, Kenshin and Rick ran to get into > there fighters they had promised there help now they would make good on it. Tsuneo: I'd love to know what they're planning on doing against an angel. Rick: Maybe it's AT field will vanish too. > To Be continued....... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Well it's done. I don't have much to say hope you all enjoyed the latest part of > A Wish Come True till next time later. [The TV Switches off] Voice: So- Rebecca: Well, this was a totally incoherent piece of mush. The writing is bordering on totally incoherent, which is a bad start. There is little punctuation, and when it is used, it's used poorly. There are no paragraphs as such, just seemingly random blocks of text with people shouting lines. Speeches spontaneously start and end and will often just blend into the rest of the text. All in all, it's a pretty messed up piece, bordering on being impossible to read. Voice: Hang on a- Rick: It's also somewhat minimalist. There are no introductions to the characters of the fic. While it's a fair assumption that the reader knows who Gendo, Ritsuko, Rei, Asuka, Shinji and... Kensuke are, they don't know the characters on the Valhalla-3. The authour never attempted to introduce or describe them. Rick and Kenshin got brief introductions, albeit ones completely at odds with the source materials, but that was it. Voice: I mean, it's nice that you're- Tsuneo: The lack of consistency got me. Asuka's here, Gendo's busily betraying people, and it's only episode five. Likewise, it's the first Zentradi contact in a long time since a couple of years ago. Basically, the authour shows only the faintest knowledge of established continuity and storyline in both series, and flagrantly ignores the rest. Voice: Hold on! Why are you rushing with the reviews? Rebecca: We want to avoid the clipboard of doom. Dan: That's not fair, you haven't even looked at it. Tsuneo: Please, Dan. You're holding us up. Dan: Oh, alright. One word: Kensuke. Two words: Why Kensuke? Four words: Why the hell Kensuke? You get the picture. Why write an apparently serious fic about Kensuke? It doesn't make sense. Voice: Well thanks- Rick: Can we go now? Voice: [Sulking] Yeah. [Rick and Tsuneo Quickly depart. Rebecca gets up to leave] Dan: Hold, I wanted to show you something. Rebecca: [Bored] What is it? Dan: I did a picture of you in her. Rebecca: Really? Dan: Yeah, have a look. [Dan hands her the clipboard, and flips over a few pages.] Rebecca: Dan, it looks just like all the others. Dan: But it's you. I even did the braid and everything. Rebecca: Then why can't I see it? Dan: It's down the picture's back. [The screen goes blank. The sound of tearing paper is heard.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dedicated to Molly the Dog, 1987 (?) - 2001 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@elmerstudios.com) & Jinas (jinas@elmerstudios.com) Dan and Tsuneo Tateo are copyright 1999-2001 Max Fauth (Jinas) Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1999-2001 Alex Fauth (Rick R. Mortis). Elmer Studios!: http://www.elmerstudios.com All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, random DELTA Invasion Episode Generator and the Satellite of Rednecks in one spot. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm Fighters Anthology .lib and mission files, utterly disturbing Nova Satori shrine, the AntiKevs and Fanfic Carp, all in one big steaming pile. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > "This is insane!" exclaimed Rick