Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Another new series. This time I'm hitting professional works. And belive me, these ones are deserving. "Megastorm" is copyright Antarctic Press Robotech is copyright Revell/Harmony Gold ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the not to distant future, 2135 AD. The nasty Louisa Chang Was hatching an evil scheme. She targeted a girl named Sandra, The Earth President who ran the place. She had a roll for her to fill, So she bopped her on the head and shot her into space! [Louisa singing now] I'll send her crappy comics, The worst that I can find, [La La La] I'll force her to watch them all, And she'll go out of their minds! [La la la] [Original singers] Now keep in mind she can't control when the comic begins or ends. So she'll have to sit and riff them all, with the help of her redneck friends. RUINS ROLL CALL! Sandra! (The Pres!) Matt! (Don't mind me!) Sean! (I'm the best!) Kara! (I'm the cute one!) If you're wondering how they eat and breath, And other science facts. Repeat to yourself "It's just a MSTing" "I really should relax!" For Mystery Ruins Theatre 3000! Sandra Blackmore sat up on the floor, rubbing her head. It had been a perfectly normal day for her. (Well, perfectly normal for a woman who happens to be the president of the post-apocalyptic wold government known as Earthgov) So, she'd been rather taken back when she had been spontaneously teleported from her office into what appeared to be... "No" she thought out loud. "It couldn't be..." Her thoughts were interrupted when there was a flash of blue light, followed by a man materializing on the floor nearby. Sandra took a look at him. He appeared to be in his early to mid thirties, with short brown hair, blue eyes and a friendly face marred by a few scars above his eyes. He wore a rather tattered khaki jumpsuit and army boots and apparently carried a gun at his side. "Matt Green?" She asked. "Ooooh" the man replied. "Uh... yeah. Sandra?" Matt stood up and looked at the woman before him. She was tall and slim, appearing to be in her late 40s or early 50s. She had shaggy shoulder-length black hair and an attractive face that was slightly offset by the patch that covered her right eye and the scarring around it. "I'm afraid so" she replied. The ex-mercenary rubbed his head. "I don't get it. One minure I was in my office. The next... I'm here. Wherever here is" "A satellite high above the earth" Sandra replied. "You sure?" "I recognize the set-up." She replied with a sigh. "That and there's a window" "Oh yeah". Matt looked out the window and down at the tattered blue, brown and grey world below. "Any idea how we got here from Earth so quickly?" "I suspect some form of plot contrivance bought us here." She replied. "There's at least one or two people yet to come. And then we'll have to meet the Mads" "The who?" "Whoever's behind this" As if on cue, another flash of blue deposited another pair of people. The first was an attractive woman in her early twenties with long black hair and deep blue eyes. The second was a man in maybe his mid twenties with short brown hair and brown eyes. The two of them picked themselves up off the floor while emitting various moans of pain. "Kara and Sean" Matt noted. "I'm getting a good idea of who's behind this" Sandra added. Sean tapped Kara on the shoulder. The two of them span around to face Matt and Sandra. "Um... Hi Matt" Kara began. "And you San... er... President Blackmore" "Yeah, hi" Sean muttered. "Um... pardon me for saying this, but what the dang ferking hell is going on here?" "Yeah..." Kara added. "One minute we're at home, then..." "We're on a satellite high above the Earth" Matt replied. "And you were teleported here by parties unknown. Although Sandra thinks she has a good idea who it is" "So, um, how do we get back home?" Kara asked. "We don't" Sandra replied. "Unless there's a box of Hamdingers lying about..." "What was that?" Sean butted in. "Never mind" A loud bleeping came from a console on a desk behind the group. "That'll be them, then" Sandra noted. "Someone had better press the button" "The what?" Matt asked. "Button" Sandra replied, pressing a flashing red light on the console. A large hexagonal-shaped viewscreen in front of them switched on. After a brief burst of static, the screen cleared to show a ludicrously large-breasted Asian woman in a jail uniform standing in front of a bizzare looking high-tech device. "Louisa Chang" Matt muttered. "Help" Kara added. "Me too" Sean added, nervously glancing at Kara. "Good god.... She's got it" Sandra muttered under her breath. "I have indeed" Louisa began. "This little device is going serve two purposes. One, it's going to make your lives hell. Two, it's going to make me the President of the Earth." "Care to explain?" Matt said, glancing between Sandra and the screen. She sighed, and shrugged. "I suppose I had better. We found that thing under the ruins of the Titan Sports building in what was once St. Louis. We had it sealed away in a deep storage vault for two reasons." "And they were?" Kara butted in. "If it's dangerous, I want to know" "One, that sort of technology shouldn't have existed when it was created in the late 20th century" "And two?" Sean butted in. "I didn't want Sonya McMahon getting her hands on it in case she decided to use it in a gimmick match and accidentally blew up the world" "So what is it?" Matt snapped. "I can answer that!" Louisa replied, angry that she wasn't getting the attention. "This is Vince McMahon's original Deus Ex Machine. The machine that will take me into the future. The technology of peace" Dead silence. "Er... forget I said that last bit" She hastily added. "Anyway, I think you should know what I have in store for you" "I think I know..." Sandra began, but Louisa cut her off. "I am going to be forcing you to read comics from the late 20th century. And I mean bad ones. So bad, that you will snap and go out of your minds and submit to my will!" She then broke into a round of Naga-like laughter. "But why?" Matt began. "Isn't it obvious?" Louisa replied, managing to bring her laughter to a halt. "Sandra is the president of the Earth. With her in my power, I will effectively control the world. Matt, as the person most responsible for my downfall, I will enjoy seeing you destroyed." "And us?" Kara asked. "Oh, I'm hoping you'll both go mad and have sex with me" she casually answered. "Damn! Damn damn damn! I didn't mean to say that! Forget I said that!" Dead silence. "Anyway, to help break in my little Satellite of Rednecks, I'm going to get your torture off to a good start." Louisa casually said while looking at her nails (and pretending not to look at the furiously blushing Kara). "It's an amusing three-part Robotech comic by Antarctic Press by the name of Megastorm. In fact, I think you might just go mad from this. It'd make your stay here shorter" "An Antarctic story?" Matt sneered. "You are evil" "Why thankyou" Louisa replied. "Now, I want you to get into that theatre and watch that damn comic and go out of your tiny little minds!" She burst into laughter again while slamming her fist down on a large red button on her desk. Red lights came on in the satellite, accompanied by a loud beeping noise. "What the hell is that?" Sean shouted. "I'm guessing it's the comic book sign" Sandra replied, clutching her ears. "That's right, boobie" Louisa replied. "So get into that theatre right now or else I start pumping out the oxygen!" "I don't see how she can call anyone a boobie" Kara muttered as the four of them ran to a large door with "Theatre" over it. [Door 5 - It's one of the doors from the Death Star. It whooshes up and you proceed.] [Door 4 - It's a revolving door. You go around several times then proceed.] [Door 3 - It's a double wooden door with wrought-iron edging set in stonework. It creaks open and you proceed] [Door 2 - It's a rolling garage door. You force it open and proceed] [Door 1 - It's a vault door. You swing it open and proceed] [Sandra walks in and sits down on the far left. Sean sits next to her, and Kara next to him. Matt sits down on the right] > Story by Fred Perry Sandra: Fred Perry, proving what tight underwear will do for your sales. > Art by Ben Dunn Sean: He draws well on Ninja High School. Not that I ever read it, mind you. Kara: But can he draw serious? > Colours by ARNie! Matt: Great. A dyslexic colourist. > Edits by Ben Dunn and Herb Mallette > [SDF-1 Rear in humanoid mode] Kara: Hey! That's just a badly copied model sheet! Matt: First page and we get a shot of the SDF-1's butt. Great. > Voice: < It's curious, Exadore How is it possible that this tiny battle fortress defeated > the mighty Breetai? > Sandra: Well it is Zor's ship and all. > [Exadore and mysterious figure in foreground] Matt: Hey it's Dude. Sandra: Guess he made his "hide in shadows" roll. Kara: It's a Zentraedi ship from the Macross Movie! [Editor's note: Henceforth DYRL] There's no interior lighting. > Exadore: < He under-estimated it and the Micronians > Kara: Say, why are they speaking in <'s anyway? Matt: It probably means they're speaking Zentraedi. Sean: Say, how do you pronounce those things anyway? Kara [Shrugs] > Figure: < Humph, I'm not even surprised > Matt: Breetai wasn't created by the author thus must be inferior. > Exadore: < Khorah, I advise you to take this mission and the SDF-1 seriously > Sean: But not internally. > [Close-up on Exadore's face] All: Eww! [They wave their arms around frantically] > Exadore: < You are charged with the task of capturing that battle fortress and the micronians > inside it... Sandra: Actually, the Zentraedi didn't care less about what happened to the SDF-1's crew. They just wanted the ship. Matt: Great. Now the author's confusing Robotech and Macross plot threads. > Under no circumstances are you to destroy it. Kara [Voice]: Aw pleeeeeeeaseeeeeeeee? > If you succeed, you will be rewarded > with command of any fleet you desire. Sean: I'd take the Imperial Garbage Scow corps! > If you fail... > Sean: Dramatic pause here, guys. > [Close-up on Khorah's face in profile] Cy-Kill [V/O]: Extreme close-up when I do this! All: ... Louisa [V/O]: Excuse me. Technical problems. [Pause] Matt: That was weird. Sean: Say, anyone notice that Khorah has trendy Cybernetics? > Khorah: < I will not fail Exadore. I HAVE NEVER FAILED! > Matt: Never say things like that. Your death is certain. > [Khorah, arms spread wide] Sandra: Ewww... use some deodorant. Sean: Say, where'd he get the fancy shoulder pads from? > Khorah: < These Micronians will learn what it is like... ...to feel the full might of the > Zentraedi! > Matt [Khorah]: And to talk like William Shatner. > [Zentraedi fleet in space] Sandra: Those are just all copied model sheets! I hope all the mecha art isn't going to be this cheap. > Khorah: < Exadore! Prepare to move the fleet into position! > Kara: Damn. Where are they gonna find parking space for them all? > [SDF-1 bridge with two VF-1s in foreground and Jupiter in the background] Matt: Question: Why is the SDF-1 near Jupiter when at the time it was on the other side of the solar system? Sandra: I feel that I should point out that what they've got there is the SDF-1's bridge design from DYRL and that it's in ship mode anyway. Kara: Say, why do those VFs have their flaps open in space? > VO: Vermilion squadron's VF-20 and VF-31 are back from combat patrols. Reporting 'All > clear'. Sean: No sign of Injuns, sir! > Launch Skull Squadron's VF-1 and VF-18! Sandra: Just to use logcal and sequential numbers... > VO: Lisa! Our Shift is almost over... What are your plans for tonight? Kara [Lisa]: Staring blankly at the wall seems to be a good plan. > Lisa: .. A long good sleep... All: Snooze! > [SDF-1 Bridge] > Kim: Oh no you don't! You're coming with us commander! Kara: You're coming down to the station with us. Sandra [Lisa]: What's the problem, officer? Kara: We've got an Antarctic book in progress. > Vanessa: That's right! You're having a good time tonight, even if it kills you! Matt: Look on the bright side. You'd be out of the comic then. > Besides, > we're starting off the evening with dinner at Captain Gloval's! Sean: McGlovals? Gloval Fried Chicken? Naahhhhh... > A real treat! > [Close-up on Gloval's face] > Gloval: No need to butter me up, Vanessa! I've got bakery rolls for that! All: [Laugh weakly] > [SDF-1 bridge] > Lisa: Captain Gloval? You can cook?! Sandra: Not according to the Robotech RPG. But, on the upside, he's an expert martial artist. > Sammie: Are you kidding Lisa? He's five-star restaurant material! > [SDF-1 Bridge. Sammie Sweatdrops] Sandra: Hang on... before Sammie was behind Lisa at Vanessa's post. Now she's at Claudia's post. What gives? > Gloval: I urge you to join us, Lisa... Sean: Wait for it, wait for it... > Claudia gave me access to her garden so we can have > fresh vegetables for a change... Kara: Dramatic pause while we consider the tension of not knowing what's on the menu. > We're having artichoke hearts with a cream and white-wine dripping sauce... Sean: The suspense builds! What will be the main course? > ...followed by Portabella mushrooms with spinach Fettuccine in a > dried tomato-basil pesto... Matt: Now try saying all that in your best Russian accent. Sandra: Anyone here notice that Gloval is cooking Itallian food? Do you think the authour's being clever by making a reference to Macross where he was Italian? Or am I reading too much into this? > [Claudia and two other girls enter] Sandra: Hey! It's half the cast of Lufftwaffe 1946. Sean: Can't be. No-one's showing their panties. Matt: You know that there are more than four characters in that comic. Sandra: There are? > Claudia: All right everybody! Get your butts off the bridge! Sandra: Somehow I just can't imagine Claudia saying "butt". > The night shift's here to take over! Matt: Since when has Claudia been night shift? She's on the day shift. Sean: Continuity's way over-rated. > Voice: All right! All right! We're going already! Sean: Geez. Who died and made her the boss? > Girl: Ugh.. too much sugar this time. > [Claudia salutes Gloval] Kara: This action... I can't keep up. > Claudia: Captain Gloval, 18-hundred to 02-hundred bridge crew reporting! Sandra: SO the replacement crew consists of Claudia and two Ensign Throwaways? Aren't they leaving it a little short? Sean: Don't worry. It's not like the Zentraedi attack after hours. > Gloval: Carry on, Claudia. Sandra: They just had to make another of those films... > [Gloval leaves] > Gloval ..and be sure to send a runner to my quarters later tonight. Kara [Gloval]: Preferably a cute one. Do you know how lonely it gets? Sean: Kara! Kara: Sorry. Don't know what came over me. Sandra [Muttered]: So we've got the potty mouthed one... > I don't want you missing out on the dinner that I'm preparing. Matt: That wouldn't happen if she was on the day crew. > Claudia: Thank you, sir. I can't wait to see the results of you raiding my garden this morning! Kara: Yes, but why did he take the Gnomes? > [Claudia and Lisa] > Claudia: What's the order of the day, Lisa? Sean: Artichoke hearts with a cream and white-wine dripping sauce followed by Portabella mushrooms with spinach Fettuccine in a dried tomato-basil pesto. > Lisa: Things are pretty slow now, Claudia... Matt: I'll say. How many pages has this been now? Sandra: Five. Matt: It seems like more... > [Claudia and Lisa from a different angle] Kara: I love this modern style of director. > Lisa: We've decided to run patrols with rookie pilots during this lull in action... Matt: Can we all say "Set up?" > Claudia: Good idea. That'll give them some good experience besides the sims... Who's up now? Matt: I'm going to say that its Rick just so they have an excuse to make him the focus of the story. Sandra: Are you kidding? In an Antarctic book it could be Dana or Scott. But Never, ever Jack Baker. > [VF-1S Super Veritech and Blue VF-1J in space with Jupiter in background] Sandra: Can anyone see what's wrong with this picture? Matt: The fact that it's a Super VF-1S well over a year before it's first flight? Kara: The fact that neither VF has missiles and the -1J has no gun? Sean: The thickness of the linework on the -1S compared to the -1J? Matt: The improper coloring on the VF-1S Super Components? Kara: The horribly out of focus picture of Jupiter that's being used as a background? Sandra: Never mind... > Lisa [VO]: VF-1 Lieutenant Commander Roy Fokker and 2nd Lieutenant Max Sterling. Matt: One question: Why is Max a Second Lieutenant piloting a VF-1J *before* his first ever battle where he was a Private in a -1A? > They just started their combat patrol. > Roy: How are you doing back there, Lieutenant? Sean [Max]: Felling strangely out of continuity... > Max: Uh... Pretty nervous, sir. > [Roy's cockpit] Sandra: Roy's wearing the normal flightsuit and helmet, not the Spacesuit. I think that's important. Matt: They probably just couldn't find a model sheet of his spacesuit to copy. > Roy: I thought you would be. This is your first combat patrol, isn't it Lt. Sterling? Sean [Max]: Actually, my negative first. > [Max's cockpit] Sandra: Now Max is wearing the normal flightsuit too! > Max: Yes, Sir! > Roy: Relax, it's not likely that we're going to see any enemy out here... All: Setup! > But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you take it easy... Kara: Yeah... Roy treats them rough. [Sean glares at her] What? WHAT?! > [VFs in space] > Roy: We're bringing rookies out this time to let them get the feel of a real Veritech... Matt: Obviously they're not worried about the idea of anyone attacking and there being only a few rookies out on patrol. Sean: Like I said, the Zentraedi only attack during office hours. > performing real combat maneuvers! Sandra: Pardon me, but wouldn't they have regularly scheduled training flights for that? > On the way to our next waypoint we're going to have a little > game of follow-the-leader. Sean: They're playing Tag in mecha! What next, hide and seek? > VO: Skull-1! This is control! Waypoint bravo is at angels 116 and 020! Matt: I should point out here that "angels" is military jargon for altitude, and that the bridge has just told Roy and Max to try and assume two vastly different altitudes at the same time. And there's no altitude in space to begin with. > [Roy's cockpit] > Roy: Claudia? Is that you? Sean [Claudia]: No. It's a frost-free fridge! > Claudia [V/O]: You better believe it, hot shot... you boys have fun out there... but when > you reach bravo, Matt: Take a left at the lights, then go three blocks until you come to the roundabout... > I need you to get down to business! Kara: Accounts needs that stuff done ASAP. > We won't need your radar until then... > Roy: I hear that! Let's go, Lieutenant! > [SDF-1 Bridge] > Girl: Claudia, the long-range scout flight is reporting... Sandra: They have detected abundant quantities of periods. > the duty log says captain Gloval > sent them out to check out on a dim radar contact two hours ago. Kara: It's a cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey! Sean: What's the bets it turns out just to be some grit on the monitor. > Claudia: Boys will be boys! Let's hear it! Matt: Huh? Did we just miss something? What do those two sentences have to do with each other? > [Two VF-1Ds and a Cats Eye in space] > Cats Eye: This is VF-113, Lt. Amy Spears speaking! Kara: Why bother giving her a name? She's only going to get killed off. > The long-range radar contact was a big negative! Sean [Amy]: Turns out it *was* grit on the screen after all. > Claudia [V/O]: Affirmative, VF-113. What was it? An asteroid? Matt: Actually, it was a flock of geese. Sandra: In space? Matt: They're very lost geese. > Amy: Negative! We didn't find anything! Kara: Did you try looking behind the couch? If you loose something, it's always there. > Returning to base! > [Cats Eye in space] > Amy: All right, then folks... ...let's head for home... > [Three battle pods de-cloak behind them] Sandra: What?! Battle pods don't have cloaking devices! What the hell is going on here? > Amy: It's Miller time! Sean: Product endorsement #1. Matt: In an Academy Robotech comic, that would have been a Duff. > [Roy & Max's VFs in space with Jupiter in the background] > Waypoint Bravo... Kara: Meanwhile, back at the ranch... > Roy: WOO-WEE!!! That's good flying, lieutenant! You're a natural, kid! Sean: If he was born from artificial insemination would that make him an unnatural kid? > Max: Thank you, Sir! I did my best to keep up... it wasn't easy... Matt [Max]: All the periods kept getting in my way. > [Max's cockpit] > Roy: Anyway, Playtime's Over! Sean: Now it's nap time. > Set 310 by 010. We've got a patrol area to sweep... > Max: Yes, sir! > Claudia [V/O]: Control to VF-1! Emergency! Please Respond!! Sandra: Calling International Rescue. Calling International Rescue... > [Max's veiwscreen with Roy and Claudia on it] > Roy: There goes my quiet evening! > Max: Under attack? > Claudia: This is serious, Roy! The long-range patrol is under attack! Matt: Huh? Did the lines just skip again. Sandra: I can't make any sense out of where they put those speech bubbles... This is worse than reading Knights of the Dinner Table. > [Roy's cockpit] > Roy: Give me a course and an estimate of what I'm about to jump into, Claudia! Sandra: An Olympic-sized pool that's about three and a half meters deep at the deepest point. > Claudia [V/O]: That's just it, Roy, we can't tell! Kara: In this comic, I'm surprised that you can tell anything. > We pick up the long-range patrol flight Sean: Then take them out for dinner. > clearly on radar, but we can't see their attackers! Sandra: Great. They're still radar invisible when de-cloaked. Not even the Star Trek universe has cloaking devices that good. > I'm uploading course, data and our radar scans to you now, Roy! Sandra [Claudia]: Come on... upload... damn Geocities FTP. > [Roy's throttle] > Roy: All right! > [Roy's VF in space] > SFX: SHOOM! > Roy: Looks like you get to see combat after all, Lt. Sterling. I just hope > you can shoot as well as you can fly! > [Close-up of fighter pod firing it's cannon] > SFX: VVOOO! Matt: Vvooo? Kara: It's Ric Flair doing a bad vampire voice. > [VF-1J Battloid-mode close-up, firing a five-barreled gun-pod] Sandra: OK... it's gone from being a VF-1D to a -1J and picked up a couple of extra gun barrels in the process. My brain hurts. > SFX: VVVOOOOOOOOOO!!! > VO: There! Over there! All: Where?! > VF-1J: I see them! Going to guns! Matt: I remember an old squadmate of mine who was dyslexic. He kept on going to gnus. > VO: Nash! Kara: Kevin Nash? What's he doing here? > Watch your six! Watch your six! > [Officer's pod and two Artillery pods] > Nash [VO]: Don't worry about me, Jordan! Matt [Nash]: I'm retired. > Keep Amy covered! I'll hold them off! > [Five missiles coming at Nash's VF-1J] Sandra: Damn. There's more than three missiles. How's he meant to dodge them? Matt: Nice and obscure one there. > Jordan [VO]: Get outta there, Nash! Move it!! > Nash: I'm trying! Kara: No, the comic's trying. > There's just too many of them! Matt: Remember, you can't dodge more than three missiles. > [Nash's VF-1J blows up. Kara: No! Not Nash! Sean: He's gone to a better place. He's out of this comic. > Jordan's VF-1S in the foreground] Sandra: Huh? Now One of them's in a -1S. What's going on here? Matt: Maybe if they chose consistent model sheets to badly copy for the art... > SFX: WHOOM! > Jordan: Nash! Oh no! His Veritech's been hit! > [Nash's cockpit] > Nash: I'm OK! I'm OK! But I'm hit bad! I think I lost my starboard engine and one > of my Veritech arms! Kara: No way! A Veritech gets hit by five missiles and it's history! Sean: Yes, but did he roll on the optional critical damage tables. Matt: Getting real obscure there. > [Cats Eye cockpit with Lt. Amy Diggers written on the side] Sandra: I thought her name was Amy Spears. Sean: Obviously Fred Perry couldn't pass up plugging himself. > Amy: Jordan! We've got to go back for him! > [Cats Eye and VF-1A in fighter mode] Matt: Huh? I thought it was a -1S. Or a -1D. Kara: But look on the upside. He's got missiles now. > Amy: We can't leave him out there! Sean: Why not? He's just some boring extra who leads a boring extra life and gets killed off in the first half of the first issue. > Jordan: I hear you Amy! Let's get some! Kara: Let's get *some*? Are they desperate or something? Matt: I think they might have meant to get *him*. Kara: I didn't know that Jordan swung that way. Matt: Hopeless. > [Nash's cockpit] Matt: What gives? Nash's uniform and helmet have changed colour. > Nash: Amy! Jordan! Sandra: Katherine... Johnny... > No!! Get out of here! Get out now!! > [Nash's VF-1A get shot repeatedly by a battle pod] Kara: OK... he's dead now. Please tell me he's dead now? > SFX: BADM! BADM! BADM! BADM! VAA-DOOM!! > [Nash's cockpit] Kara: Oh come on! He can't have lived this long! > Nash: Jordan! They're picking Nash apart! Shift to battloid mode at once! Matt: Why's Nash talking about himself in the third person? Sean: He has problems. > [Nash's heavily damaged VF-1A and Jordan's VF-1A in Battloid mode] Sandra: Now they're both in VF-1As. What gives? Is Bob Budainsky doing the continuity checking? > Nash: Amy! Jordan! That's what they want! They're using me as bait to draw you back! Kara: That can't have been their original plan, seeing as you should have died several times by now. > Jordan: No way, Nash! We ain't leaving you behind! Kara: Because when you're nWo, you're nWo for life! > You come back with us or we all float home! > [Battle pod explodes] Sean: Then, Pod explode. > SFX: WHOOM! > [Max and Roy's VFs in fighter mode] Matt: Max might feel like a bit of an idiot seeing as he's got no missiles or gun pod. > SFX: VVVOOOOO!! > Roy: Scout group! This is Skull Leader! Return to the SDF-1! We'll cover for you! Kara: Okay, okay. No need to shout about it. > [Two intact VF-1As and Cats Eye] All: Huh? Sean: How'd Nash's VF get better all of a sudden? > Jordan: We're gone, Skull leader! > Amy: We've recovered Lt. Nash Matt: And sent him to rehab. > and are proceeding back to the SDF-1. > [SDF-1 Bridge] > Claudia: Roy! Watch it! Several of the alien ships are breaking off to intercept the > scout group! Matt: Mmm.... Shiny thing.. > Roy [VO]: We know! We're on it! > Girl: Claudia! Captain Gloval's on the com! Sandra: He wants to know how you want your steak done. > Claudia: On screen, Cindi! Sean: Additional dialogue by Captain Picard. > [SDF-1 bridge. Gloval is on a monitor wearing a chef's hat] Kara: Gloval, it's not you. > Gloval: Claudia! What's wrong! Matt: All the art is copied model sheets, all the veritechs are changing models on a panel-by-panel basis, Max is in combat before his first mission, Roy is piloting a mecha that wont begin testing until after he dies, the Zentraedi have somehow contrived themselves cloaking technology and it's still only the first issue. Sandra: Forget I asked. > Why did you sound a red alert? Sandra: Because she's colour blind. She actually wanted a yellow one. > Claudia: About half a dozen battlepods and various fighters are engaged in > combat with Lt. Commander Fokker's group! > [As above, closer up] > Gloval: Fokker? Never mind then... Matt: He's not scheduled to die for at least another ten episodes so he'll be fine. > the situation is well in hand... > Claudia: Well, if you say so, sir... Sandra [Claudia]: Oh yeah, and the enemy seem to have mecha that can turn invisible and don't show up on our radar. But it doesn't seem important right now. > [Roy's VF-1S and a blue VF-1A - Max - battloid mode destroying pods with bits > of wrecked mecha in the background] Matt: So now Max's VF has changed model too! And what's that meant to be in the background? Kara: Since when was Roy left-handed? Sandra: Since the reversed a model sheet showing his mecha with the gun in the right hand. > SFX: VVVOOOO!! > Gloval [VO]: Don't worry, Sean: Be happy! > Claudia. Better you should feel sorry for those poor devils up against Fokker. Matt: Is it just me, or does that seem a little bit too casual? > Max: How are we doing, sir? > Roy: Not bad, Lt. Sterling! I've counted six destroyed and three probable. Sean: Or was that three destroyed and six probable... It's hard to tell some days. > Claudia [VO]: Skull leader! They're coming at us again! Kara: Persistent little buggers, aren't they? > Roy: Dammit! Lt. Sterling, switch to fighter mode and prepare to intercept! > [Roy's cockpit] Matt: That's a DYRL style cockpit! They could at least *try* to copy the right model sheets. > Max: Yes, sir! > Roy: Oh, well! Looks like these guys get a break from our party! Sandra: I guess the neighbors complained about the noise. > [Cats Eye] > Amy: Skull leader! These aliens are trying to prevent us from returning to the SDF-1! > [Max's VF-1A] > Max: Wait.. What's going on? They're all breaking off! Retreating! Why? They had us cold! All: Huh? Sandra: So they persistently go after the Cat's Eye at the exclusion of all else. Then, when they have it dead to rights, the run away. What gives? Matt: Are you sure Bob Budainsky isn't writing this? > [Roy's cockpit] > Roy: Better not waste this opportunity, scout leader! Kara: This limited investment opportunity will only be available for a short time. > Get your group back to base, pronto! > Max: Sir! We better head back to base too! Sean: RAW is on. > Check your fuel gage... > [Display] > Roy [V/O]: Hmm... You're right! Kara: It's less filling AND tastes great! > We don't have enough for another fur-ball! Matt: Well, if you hadn't spent all your time farting around at waypoint Bravo... Kara: Never mind that Roy's VF-1S Super has more than twice the fuel than Max's. Sandra: Just wait five minutes and Peter Walker will probably re-calculate their internal fuel for them. Again. > Let's just hope that battle is all the action we'll see near Jupiter. All: Forshadowing! > Voice: Phase one complete, Khorah... Matt [Scrapper]: Now! unite into Devestaor! > [Khorah and a purple haired Zentraedi in front of a screen] > Khorah: But not without its problems, Brekkot! Sandra: It's Dr Khorah and TV's Brekkot, hatching an evil scheme. > That scout group almost detected our presence! Sean: What kind of lame-ass cloaking device do you have anyway? Matt: So the scout group almost detected the fleet from a distance, but it couldn't detect a bunch of battlepods right behind them? > We had to uncloak a few fighters to prevent that from happening... Sandra: Of course, it you hadn't de-cloaked those pods they probably would have gone right past you without spotting them. Which means now they *know* you have cloaked mecha. Kara: What? You think Gloval's going to tear himself away from dinner to deal with this? > [Display close-up] Matt: Alright... We fake downfield then go for a long bomb to the twenty yard line. You, you and you go to the left while you try to distract their defense so we can slip the big one past them. Sandra: These football plays are so hard to follow... > Khorah: But the rest of the group was able to slip past the planet without being detected. Sean: They went on tippy-toes. > [Close-Up on Kohrah, Brekkot in background] Matt: Who wants to point out that they're inside a battle pod cockpit? Sandra: Never mind that, but Kohrah's trendy cybernetics have changed since the first page. > Brekkot: Sir, the engine room reports that they have finished their preparations! Matt [Scotty]: I'll give her all she's got, sir! > Navigation > reports that we have stabilized our position over the great red spot of this gas giant! Kara: Imagine trying to reverse-park a four kilometer long battleship... > Khorah: Excellent! Prepare yourself, Micronians. The true battle begins now! Sean [Khorah]: Would this be an appropriate time for some diabolical laughter, Brekkot? > NEXT ISSUE: Jupiter Trap! Don't miss the next exciting chapter. Sean: I'm sure I can wait. Matt: What is Khorah's lame plan? Where did the Zentraedi get cloaking devices from? Can anyone go more than three panels in the same model of Veritech? Why is Roy in a Super Veritech over a year before it was created? Why does Khorah have trendy cybernetics? And, most importantly, does anyone care? Sandra: I, for one, don't. Let's get out of here. [They get up and leave] [Door 1 - It's a vault door. It swings shut as you leave] [Door 2 - It's a rolling garage door. You wrestle it shut and proceed] [Door 3 - It's a double wooden door with wrought-iron edging set in stonework. It creaks shut and you proceed] [Door 4 - It's a revolving door. You go around several times then proceed.] [Door 5 - It's one of the doors from the Death Star. It whooshes down and nearly takes your feet off as you proceed.]